第一篇：jimmy tingle 哈弗大学爆笑演讲文本
Commencement Speech at Harvard
Jimmy Tingle
Thank you, I am truly honored to be here this morning, my name is Jimmy Tingle and that’s my real name.And I was born and raised right here in Cambridge Massachusetts.I am an unlikely choice to give a commencement address at Harvard because quite frankly my friends I am not a scholar, which will become increasingly more evident as I proceed.I am a comedian by profession.And I started performing here in the Boston area in the early 1980s, actually did street performing right down here in Harvard square.I traveled all over the world performing stand-up comedy.I don’t want to brag, but two years ago I performed in Europe and I just like to say “excellent country”.You know what’s nice for being here this morning, you actually get that joke.Actually I am from a long line of intellectuals, growing up here in Cambridge we lived right near your college.My father owned and drove taxi cabs.Here in Harvard square he would pick up Harvard professors, they would tell him things.He would come home and tell us.For generations Harvard has given scholarships to students from Cambridge and students from all over the world who could meet the academic requirements.Starting in the third grade, my dear sweet mother who was here this morning would say to me, “Jimmy, if you study really hard, someday, you could go to Harvard.” By the sixth grade, she stopped telling me that.By the eighth grade, our whole neighborhood had their eyes set on Harvard, not so much for scholarships, but because it was an excellent place to steal bicycles.I can remember running through this very yard, some forty years ago, being chased by Harvard students, the Harvard faculty and the Harvard police department.Other college campuses during the 1960s were bitterly divided between the students and the administration over civil rights and the war in Vietnam.But here at Harvard, my friends and I were able to unite students, faculty and law enforcement.It was in this very yard that I had my first spiritual awakening.As I was running I started to pray, please god, please god don’t let me get caught, I’ll never do it again, my mother will kill me, she always wanted me to go to Harvard, this isn’t what she meant.21Then I realized I was an altar boy, I was a catholic, I should have been praying before I tried to take the bicycle.And I just want to say to the alumni gathered here this morning on behalf of myself and all the other misguided youth of Cambridge and greater Boston who may have unjustifiably taken your bicycles we are sorry.And to the graduates, many of you will go on to positions of great power and influence in business and politics and government, and the temptations to cut corners to lie to steal to cheat will be formidable, my advice to you today is simply this, ask for guidance before you commit the crime.Trust me it is much less embarrassing to ask for help privately than to beg for forgiveness at graduation.And I am so grateful, I am so grateful that the petty crimes of my youth were not successful.For had my dishonest behavior been rewarded, I may not be with you here today my life may have taken a different turn.And I could have ended up on Wall Street.I always wanted to go to this school, but always felt that it was so late.Yet encouraged by family, and friends and colleagues, and my mom and my wife Catherine, I put in an application anyway, and like all of you, we were absolutely overjoyed, when that letter of acceptance came in the mail.I couldn’t believe it, I said to my wife, I can’t believe this.After all of these years, I’ve actually been accepted to Harvard.They must really need a commencement speaker.This entire year people have asked me Jimmy why would a comedian want to go to Harvard.the same reason all of you wanted to go to Harvard, we got in.And all of us have faced challenges getting here today, and still more academic challenges once classes started.My biggest academic challenge was the quantitative mathematic requirement for graduation.Unfortunately I had to take statistics.Fortunately we had a wonderful, and dedicated and great teacher, Deborah Hughes Hallett.Who was kind enough to arrange extra help secessions for students who were struggling with the material.I went to every single extra help secession she offered.It was always a very familiar scenario.Me and nineteen students from other countries.Countries often in conflict with one another, India and Pakistan, Turkey and Greece, Israelis and Palestinians, all of us helping one another, all of us learning from one another, all of us supporting one another, across racial, ethnic and religious lines.And I say this as a native Bostonian, all of us with English as a second language.All of us are here today because somebody helped us.34 Whether it was family or friends or colleagues or teachers or administration or just scholarships or God or a highly power, someone or something helped us get here today and now it’s our job to help others and that is education and that is human progress in its simplest form.And I believe very very strongly, that with right amount of the physical, spiritual and intellectual help, almost anything in this world is possible.All of the students in those extra help sessions passed those courses, some of those students actually got an A in statistics, I personally got a B, which for me was a miracle.Actually in the spirit of honesty, a B minus, which was a minor miracle.But if I could get the help that I needed to get a B minus in statistics in quantitative mathematics at graduate school at Harvard, there is hope for world peace.Thank you, thank you, thank you.
第二篇：哈弗演讲
以下是Drew G.Faust 在2008年本科毕业生毕业典礼上的演讲讲稿。她是哈佛历史上第一位女性校长，第一位非哈佛毕业生校长，杰出的历史学家，2001年从宾西法尼业大学到哈佛的Radcliffe学院任教。
这段演讲无数次在我迷茫，彷徨的时候给予我指引与帮助，今天，我将铭记于心的这段文字一字一句的敲下来，希望她对你同样有用。
As I have listened to you talk about the choices ahead of you, I have heard you articulate your worries about the relationship of success and happiness — perhaps, more accurately, how to define success so that it yields and encompasses real happiness, not just money and prestige.The most remunerative choice, you fear, may not be the most meaningful and the most satisfying.But you wonder how you would ever survive as an artist or an actor or a public servant or a high school teacher? How would you ever figure out a path by which to make your way in journalism? Would you ever find a job as an English professor after you finished who knows how many years of graduate school and dissertation writing?
在聊天时我听过你们谈到你们目前所面临的选择，我听到你们一字一句地说出你们对于成功与幸福的关系的忧虑——也许，更精确地讲，怎样去定义成功才能使它具有或包含真正的幸福，而不仅仅是金钱和荣誉。你们害怕，报酬最丰厚的选择，也许不是最有价值的和最令人满意的选择。但是你们也担心，如果作为一个艺术家或是一个演员，一个人民公仆或是一个中学老师，该如何才能生存下去？然而，你们可曾想过，如果你的梦想是新闻业，怎样才能想出一条通往梦想的道路呢？难道你会在读了不知多少年研，写了不知多少毕业论文终于毕业后，找一个英语教授的工作？
The answer is: you won’t know till you try.But if you don’t try to do what you love — whether it is painting or biology or finance;if you don’t pursue what you think will be most meaningful, you will regret it.Life is long.There is always time for Plan B.But don’t begin with it.答案是：你不试试就永远都不会知道。但如果你不试着去做自己热爱的事情，不管是玩泥巴还是生物还是金融，如果连你自己都不去追求你认为最有价值的事，你终将后悔。人生路漫漫，你总有时间去给自己留“后路”，但可别一开始就走“后路”。
I think of this as my parking space theory of career choice, and I have been sharing it with students for decades.Don’t park 20 blocks from your destination because you think you’ll never find a space.Go where you want to be and then circle back to where you have to be.我把这叫做我的关于职业选择的“泊车”理论，几十年来我一直都在向学生们“兜售”我的这个理论。不要因为怕到了目的地找不到停车位而把车停在距离目的地20个路口的地方。直接到达你想去的地方，哪怕再绕回来停，你暂时停的地方只是你被迫停的地方。
第三篇：哈弗大学
OXFORD UNIVERSITY
Oxford University once famously claimed to have been founded by Alfred the Great in the 9th Century, but in fact, the University as we know it today began to take shape in the 12th Century when English Scholars were exiled from Paris University and began to congregate at Oxford’s Abbeys and Priories, which were buy then already established centers of learning.Today, 39 independent, self-governing colleges are related to the University in a type of federal system.Each is governed by a Head of House and a number of Fellows, who are academics specializing in a wide variety of disciplines, most of whom also hold University posts.Across both the Arts and the Sciences, Oxford research consistently ranks top both nationally and internationally.As well as being in the forefront of scientific, medical and technological achievement, the University has strong links with research institutions and industrial concerns both in the United Kingdom and overseas.The University is income from externally funded research grants and contracts in 1996-7 totaled over ￡107 million.The University’s great age also allows its teaching staff and research students to draw on a heritage of magnificent library and museum collections.Students working for higher degrees are an important and valued part of Oxford University.They currently make up over a quarter of the total student body of 15,641, drawn by the excellent facilities for research, which the University can offer;therefore the proportion of graduate students is increasing.In all these fields, Oxford attracts scholars from many parts of the world to join its teaching and research staff, and also values important role of overseas graduate students(approximately one third of the total graduate body)in providing intellectual stimulation and creating and maintaining academic links with colleges abroad.To gain entry into the University, students must first win a place by competitive examination at one of the colleges, which have their own admissions policies.The procedure for applications varies according to the subject you propose to study.There are no final deadlines for most applications, unless specified in a particular subject section, but there are many more applications than places available, and the process of acceptance by both faculty board and college can take some time;early application is therefore strongly advised.
第四篇：哈弗大学
美国哈佛大学简介（图）
摘要：哈佛大学（Harvard University）成立于1636年，是美国历史最悠久的高等学府。哈佛大学位于美国马萨诸塞州剑桥城。哈佛大学是一所私立大学，是知名的“常春藤盟校”的八大成员之一。
不知道有多少憧憬美国名校的申请人都有着自己的“哈佛梦”，梦想着自己有一天能够穿上代表哈佛的深红色衣服，徜徉在剑桥城的哈佛校园内，手捧书本坐在草坪上。哈佛大学意味着顶级学术环境，意味着世界一流的教育，意味着高起点和美好的前程。
哈佛大学（Harvard University）成立于1636年，是美国历史最悠久的高等学府。哈佛大学位于美国马萨诸塞州剑桥城。哈佛大学是一所私立大学，是知名的“常春藤盟校”的八大成员之一。在美国知名大学排名网站USnews 上，哈佛大学连续多年排名第一位。而在世界各报刊和研究机构排行中，哈佛大学常年雄踞榜首。
作为如此名校，哈佛大学对于申请人的筛选也相当严格。Princeton Review把哈佛大学评为美国最难申请的大学第四位。
哈佛大学的校训是真理（Veritas），这个校训也出现在哈佛大学的校徽上。
哈佛大学校徽
哈佛大学历史上出现过数不尽的名人和诺贝尔奖得主。哈佛的毕业生中出现了8任美国总统。我们所熟知的美国现任总统奥巴马、前任总统罗斯福、肯尼迪和乔治·布什都是哈佛大学校友。也有不少中国知名人士毕业于哈佛，包括地质学家竺可桢，散文家梁实秋，梁启超之子建筑学家梁思成等等。当前的台湾国民党主席马英九获得了哈佛大学法学博士学位。最近炙手可热的NBA中国明星控球后卫林书豪也出身哈佛。哈佛的教授中，有34名诺贝尔奖得主。而哈佛历史上一共有40位诺贝尔奖得主和30位普利策奖得主。
哈佛大学学生以研究生为主，约有12000多名研究生，近7000名本科生和2400多名教授。在全美排名上，哈佛大学商学院、医学院排名首位，人文、政治和英文专业排名第一。文学院、法学院、医学院、商学院以及工程学院是全美公认的Number One。哈佛大学共设10个研究生院，包括文理学院、商业管理学院、设计学院、牙科医学学院、神学院、教育学院、法学院、医学院、公共卫生学院和肯尼迪政治学院；2个招收大学本科生的学院，即哈佛学院和拉德克利夫学院；并设继续教育办公室，专门负责暑期学校、附设课程和终身学习中心。
Harvard University 校园风景
哈佛大学与麻省理工学院（MIT）的关系非常微妙，是一种既有竞争又合作的关系。早年间，两校的合并方案也被激烈讨论过。哈佛与麻省在排名和研究上的竞争非常激烈。由于同处剑桥市，为了充分利用资源，两校的学生可以选择另一所学校的课程来完成学分要求。在科研方面，两校同样进行了广泛的合作，包括哈佛MIT数据中心等。
第五篇：哈弗大学 经典语录
哈弗大学 经典语录
1.此刻打盹，你将做梦；而此刻学习，你将圆梦。
Nodding at the moment, you will dream;studying at the moment, dream will come true.2.我荒废的今日，正是昨日殒身之人祈求的明日
The day you desert is the tomorrow many others long for but couldn’t get.3.觉得为时已晚的时候，恰恰是最早的时候。
Thought it’s already too late, exactly the earliest time.4.勿将今日之事拖到明日。
Do not wait until tomorrow.5.学习时的苦痛是暂时的，未学到的痛苦是终生的。
Pain of study is temporary, has not learned, the pain is life-long.6.学习这件事，不是缺乏时间，而是缺乏努力。
Study this matter, is not lack of time, but lack of effort.7.幸福或许不排名次，但成功必排名次。
Happiness may not be ranked, but success will be at the top.8.学习并不是人生的全部。但既然连人生的一部分———学习也无法征服，还能做什么呢
Study is certainly not the life complete.However, since even part of life you can not conquer, what else can be done? 9.请享受无法回避的痛苦。
Please enjoy the unavoidable suffering.10.只有比别人更早、更勤奋地努力，才能尝到成功的滋味。
Only earlier than others, more diligent efforts to taste the taste of success.11.谁也不能随随便便成功，它来自彻底的自我管理和毅力。
Success comes from a thorough self-management and perseverance.12.时间在流逝
Time is passing.13.现在流的口水，将成为明天的眼泪。
Now the Halazi mobility will become tomorrow's tears.14.狗一样地学，绅士一样地玩。
Dogs like to learn, as a gentleman to play.15.今天不走，明天要跑
Those who do not walk today will have to run tomorrow。16.投资未来的人，是忠于现实的人。（更相信，忠于现实，就是投资未来。）
Invest in the future of people, loyal to the people in reality.17.受教育程度代表收入。
Education level represents income.18.一天过完，不会再来。
The day will not come again.19.即使现在，对手也不停地翻动书页。
Even now, opponents is banging on the page.
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