美国脱口秀主持Ellen的爆笑演讲 英文原版

第一篇：美国脱口秀主持Ellen的爆笑演讲 英文原版

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¡¡¡¡Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs.President Cowen;distinguished guests, undistinguished guestsaluminialumisI really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what I wanted to do.I did everything from“and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.” And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.¡¡¡¡Then my career turned intothis was back, many years ago-and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest.And I thought, “What's the worst that could happen? I can lose my career”.I did.I lost my career.The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper.The phone didn't ring for three years.I had no offers.Nobody wanted to touch me at all.Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of what I did.And I realised that I had a purpose.And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished...it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow.And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it.And most stations didn't want to pick it up.Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing.I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place.I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets.and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different.I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous.I want to be a star.I want to be in movies.When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies.To quote the Pussycat Dolls.How many people thought it was “boobies”, by the way? It's not, it's “groupies”.¡¡¡¡But my idea of success is different today.And as you grow, you'll realise the definition of success changes.For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila.For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure.to try to be something that you're not.To live your life as an honest and compassionate person.to contribute in some way.So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself.Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that.Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.Don't take anyone's advice.So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.¡¡¡¡And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine.It's gonna be great.You've already survived a hurricane.What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most.And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview.Like, “Is it above sea level?”.So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras.But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with.And you'll be drunk, most of the time.So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.

第二篇：脱口秀主持Ellen的爆笑演讲

邀请名人到本校学生的毕业典礼上做演讲一直以来都是美国大学的传统，不管该位名人是否从这所大学毕业。本期【名人毕业演讲秀】为大家送上脱口秀主持Ellen DeGeneres的杜兰大学演讲。

Ellen毫无疑问是美国现今一线的脱口秀主持人。以自己名字命名的节目Ellen Show收视率居高不下，她还成功主持过第38和39届格莱美、第46届艾美等颁奖礼。她在杜兰大学的演讲延续了自己的幽默风格，在笑声中也回顾了自己的成长，并给毕业学生们以诚恳的建议，听来受益匪浅。点击这里下载演讲音频>>

Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs.President Cowen;distinguished guests, undistinguished guestsaluminialumisI really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what I wanted to do.I did everything from“and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.” And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.Then my career turned intothis was back, many years ago-and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest.And I thought, “What's the worst that could happen? I can lose my career”.I did.I lost my career.The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper.The phone didn't ring for three years.I had no offers.Nobody wanted to touch me at all.Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of what I did.And I realised that I had a purpose.And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished...it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow.And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it.And most stations didn't want to pick it up.Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing.I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place.I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets.and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different.I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous.I want to be a star.I want to be in movies.When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies.To quote the Pussycat Dolls.How many people thought it was “boobies”, by the way? It's not, it's “groupies”.But my idea of success is different today.And as you grow, you'll realise the definition of success changes.For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila.For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure.to try to be something that you're not.To live your life as an honest and compassionate person.to contribute in some way.So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself.Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that.Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.Don't take anyone's advice.So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine.It's gonna be great.You've already survived a hurricane.What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most.And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview.Like, “Is it above sea level?”.So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras.But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with.And you'll be drunk, most of the time.So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.

第三篇：脱口秀主持人Ellen 杜兰大学2009毕业典礼演讲

Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs.President Cowen;distinguished guests, undistinguished guestsaluminialumisI really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what I wanted to do.I did everything from“and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.” And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.Then my career turned intothis was back, many years ago-and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest.And I thought, “What's the worst that could happen? I can lose my career”.I did.I lost my career.The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper.The phone didn't ring for three years.I had no offers.Nobody wanted to touch me at all.Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of what I did.And I realised that I had a purpose.And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished...it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow.And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it.And most stations didn't want to pick it up.Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing.I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place.I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets.and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different.I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous.I want to be a star.I want to be in movies.When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies.To quote the Pussycat Dolls.How many people thought it was “boobies”, by the way? It's not, it's “groupies”.But my idea of success is different today.And as you grow, you'll realise the definition of success changes.For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila.For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure.to try to be something that you're not.To live your life as an honest and compassionate person.to contribute in some way.So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself.Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that.Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.Don't take anyone's advice.So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine.It's gonna be great.You've already survived a hurricane.What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most.And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview.Like, “Is it above sea level?”.So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras.But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with.And you'll be drunk, most of the time.So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.谢谢，考恩校长和校长夫人、各位尊贵和没那么尊贵的嘉宾——你自己知道自己是谁，以及各位杰出的教师和弱智的西班牙语老师。也感谢所有2009界毕业生，我知道你们大多没睡醒并头痛欲裂，狂欢节后就根本没睡过，但我讲完之前你们不能毕业，所以好好听着。

有人找我做毕业致辞的时候，我立刻就答应了。然后，我转身去查毕业致辞是什么意思。如果我有本词典，很容易查得到。但我们家大部分的书都是波蒂亚的，它们都是用澳大利亚语写的。（波蒂亚，澳大利亚模特，Ellen's partner）因此，我不得不自己把这词拆开来，以明白它的意思。

毕业致辞（Commencement）就是普通（Common）和水泥（cement）。普通水泥。我们总在路上看到水泥。路上也有裂缝，一旦你踏进裂缝，就会摔坏你妈妈的背。//不明白//故，有此说。不过，我很荣幸，你们让我在普通水泥上发言。

我以为，做毕业致辞的得是著名校友、小游、效尤、消油，总之，你得从这学校毕业。可我并不是这里毕业的，我不知道考恩校长知道么，我根本没从任何大学毕业。任何大学。当然，我不是说你们浪费时间和金钱，但是看看我，我可是超级名流啊。

虽然我也在学校饱受磨难（knock），但我们的吉祥物就是门把手（knocker）//我又不明白了//我在这里长大。我妈妈也在这里工作（？），每次我要从她钱包里偷点钱的时候，我就到这里来。但是，今天我为什么到这里来呢？显然，不是要偷东西，你们都离我太远了，而且偷了东西我也跑不掉。我今天来这里是因为你们。没有比你们更坚韧，更勇敢的毕业班了。我的意思是，看看你们，穿着长袍。一般来说，你早上十点穿着长袍，意味着你已经完蛋了。//还是不明白//我来这里，是因为我喜欢新奥尔良。我生在这里出生，在这里长大。和你一样，当我住在这里，只洗过六次衣服。我从学校毕业的时候后，就完全失去了方向。我所说的学校，是指初中。无论如何我还是继续，读完了高中。我，真的，没有什么抱负，我不知道自己想做什么。于是我什么都做，我做过剥牡蛎的、我做过女主持、我做过酒保、我做过服务员、我做过粉刷匠、我做过卖吸尘器的，我不知道做什么。我想，我最后会在某个工作固定下来，会有足够的钱租房，也许还有基本的有线电视，也许没有。我真的不知道，我是说，我在你们这个年纪的时候，我以为自己知道自己是谁，但是我不知道。例如，我在你们这个年纪的时候，我还跟男人约会呢。(本文作者系著名女同志，在八号提案被否决后，高调和女友结婚，双方家长参加。)所以，我说的是，当你们长大以后，多会变成同性恋的。这句话有人记下来么？父母们记下来了么？

话说回来，那时候，我不知道我生命中想做什么，一件非常悲惨的事情让我醒悟。那年我19岁，我当时的女友死于车祸。我从旁经过，不知道那就是她，我继续走，过了会儿我才发现，那就是她。我住在一个地下室里，没有钱，没有暖气，没有新鲜空气，有个床垫，就放在地板上，房间里满是跳蚤。而我不断的想，不断的想，为什么她突然消失了，而跳蚤还在这里？//也不是很明白//我不能理解，但一定有一个旨意，如果可以拿起电话就打给上帝问这些问题，那多好啊。

于是，我开始写东西，喷涌而出的就是我跟上帝的对话，单方面的。写完了，我看着它，我对自己说——那时候我还没做过脱口秀，小镇里也没有这样的表演——我对自己说，“我要在约翰尼卡森的《今夜秀》上跟大家说这些” ——当时，他是脱口秀之王——“我会成为这个节目里第一个女嘉宾，第一个能坐下的女嘉宾”（因果不明，但是在某官员说同志不能结婚的时候，Ellen当着他的面立即说“以前你们还说我不能坐在这里呢”——用的是黑人妇女坐车的典故。）几年之后，就因为我写了跟上帝通电话，而成为这个节目里第一个女嘉宾，也是唯一的女嘉宾。之后我开始做脱口秀，很成功，很厉害，但也很难，因为我试图讨好每个人，而我心中有一个秘密：我是同性恋。我想，如果人们不喜欢我的话，他们就不会喜欢我的节目。//是这个意思吧？//

然后，我的职业生涯又转到了电视剧，我自己的电视剧，很成功，另一个数量级的成功。可我想，如果他们发现我是同性恋，那么他们永远不会看我的电视剧了。那是很久以前的事了，那时候我们还只有白人总统。回来，回到多年前。//不明//我的生活里已经有太多羞耻，太多恐惧，多得不能再多了，最后我决定出轨，而且要有创意。与此同时，我在电视剧里的角色也出柜了，这可不是政治宣言，这只是我在自己生活的这片空间里释放了自己，我只是说实话，而我想，“最坏的可能是什么呢？失业吧。”我做到了。我失业了。节目被取消了，都没有人告诉我，六年后我看报纸才知道的。三年里没有一个电话面试。没有工作机会。没有任何人想跟我联系。但是，我有收到孩子们的来信，本来要自杀的，但是因为看到我所做的而没有做傻事。我意识到我自己有一个旨意。它不仅仅是关于我，也不是关于名流，而是我觉得自己好像受到惩罚。。日子不好过，我很生气，我很悲伤，然后我终于得到一个做脱口秀节目的机会。//什么意思啊？！//节目做好，要卖出去的时候，多数电视台看都不看。多数人不愿意买这个节目，因为他们觉得没有人会要看我的节目。

当我回首这段，真的，我不想改变什么。我的意思是，失去一切对于我来说很重要，因为这让我领悟到，对于我来说最重要的是，忠实于自己。正是忠实于自己，才让我有机会到这里来致辞。我不再害怕了，我自由了，我没有秘密，我知道自己没什么问题，因为不管发生什么，我知道自己是谁。所以，总结一下，我年轻时候的对于成功的看法和现在不同。我想，当我长大了，我要出名。我想成为明星。我想做电影。当我长大了，我想环游世界，驾驶好车，我想有自己的粉丝（groupies）。以上引用Pussycat Dolls演唱组的话。嘿，有多少人听成了蠢货（boobies），不，我说的是粉丝。

但，今天我对成功的看法完全不同。等你长大，就明白成功的定义是会变的。今天，对于你们来，成功就是一口喝掉二十杯烈酒。对我来说，最重要的是忠实于自己，做完整的自己，不要因别人的压力而改变自己，委曲不能求全。//这句怎么说才能好呢//做诚实的，有同情心的人，这里那里做出些贡献。最后，总结一下我的总结：跟随你的心，忠实于自己。不要走别人的路，除非你在树林里迷路了，看到这么一条路，非走不可。也不要给别人乱出主意，它只会给你自己添乱。不要听别人的意见。所以，我给你的意见是：忠实于自己，一切都会好的。

我知道，有不少人关心自己的前途，但没必要担心。经济蓬勃发展，人才市场空着呢，坐飞机也不会死。//wide open怎么翻啊//会好起来的。你们都已经躲过了飓风。还有什么可以发生在你们身上？正如我前面提到的，发生在你身上最坏的事情会给你最深的领悟。现在，你知道了第一次面试的时候应该问的问题了。譬如说，“是海平面以上（安全的地方）对吗？”。最后的最后，再来总结一下我普通水泥上的总结，我猜，我所想说的是，人生就是一场大的狂欢节。但，不要展示你的胸部，而是展示你的脑部，如果他们喜欢他们看到的，你会有更多珠子。//我不行了//多数时候，你都喝高了。好了，纯洁的2009界毕业生，祝福你们毕业了。如果你完全不记得我今天说哪些，请记住这句：你没什么问题。dum de dum dum dum，跳舞吧（Ellen DeGeneres's Show的结束音乐。）

第四篇：脱口秀主持人Ellen杜兰大学2009毕业典礼演讲

脱口秀主持人埃伦2009年杜兰大学毕业演讲稿英文版

Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs.President Cowen;distinguished guests, undistinguished guestsaluminialumisI really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what I wanted to do.I did everything from“and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.” And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.Then my career turned intothis was back, many years ago-and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest.And I thought, “What's the worst that could happen? I can lose my career”.I did.I lost my career.The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper.The phone didn't ring for three years.I had no offers.Nobody wanted to touch me at all.Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of what I did.And I realised that I had a purpose.And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished...it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow.And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it.And most stations didn't want to pick it up.Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing.I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place.I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets.and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different.I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous.I want to be a star.I want to be in movies.When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies.To quote the Pussycat Dolls.How many people thought it was “boobies”, by the way? It's not, it's “groupies”.But my idea of success is different today.And as you grow, you'll realise the definition of success changes.For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila.For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure.to try to be something that you're not.To live your life as an honest and compassionate person.to contribute in some way.So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself.Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that.Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.Don't take anyone's advice.So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine.It's gonna be great.You've already survived a hurricane.What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most.And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview.Like, “Is it above sea level?”.So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras.But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with.And you'll be drunk, most of the time.So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.

第五篇：美国经典英文演讲一百篇

美国20世纪经典英语演讲100篇（MP3+文本）

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