初中英语演讲幽默故事

第一篇：初中英语演讲幽默故事

Big

Head

“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head” “Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head.Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?” “I haven't got one,use your hat.” 大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪？”

“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.“Look,” said the elder brother.“How nice these paintings are!”

“Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children.Where is the father?”

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”

父亲在哪儿？

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

An Alarm Clock A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday.One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.Before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ Excuse me, sir.Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning.”

“ Oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ I am afraid I can't.I don't get up that early.”

The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ Do you have an alarm clock? That would help me.” “ Yes, here it is, young man.”

The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man.But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it.“ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man.“ Sure!Just shake it when it's time to get up, and it'll ring.” 一只闹钟

一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。

上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗？我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”

“哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。”

年轻人正想回到房间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗？或许它能帮助我。” “我有，给你，年轻人。”

年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。“它能准时闹吗？”他问老头儿。

“那当然！时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。”

One Engine Left

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, “Attention, passengers.We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left.Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult.”

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, “Guess what, folks.We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one.We will now arrive in London three hours late.”

At this point, one passenger became furious.“For Pete's sake,” he shouted, “If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!”

只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

第二篇：英语演讲幽默故事

七年级五班英语幽默故事大赛演讲稿 do you like stories? i want to tell you a true story.it happened to a friend of mine a year ago.while my friend ,george, was reading in bed, two thieves climbed into his kitchen.after they had entered the house, they went into the dining room.it was very dark, so they turned on a torch.suddenly, they heard a voice behind them.‘what’s up? what’s up?’someone called.the thieves dropped the torch and ran away as quickly as they could.george heard the noise and came downstairs quickly.he turned on the light, but he couldn’t see anyone.the thieves had already gone.but george’s parrot, hey, was still there.‘what’s up, george?’he called.‘nothing, hey.’george said and smiled.‘go back to sleep.’篇二：初中英语演讲幽默故事 bighead “wheres the shopping bag?”

“i havent got one,use your hat.”

大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”

“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪？”

“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” good boy little robert asked his mother for two cents.what did you do with the money i gave you yesterday? i gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.youre a good boy, said the mother proudly.here are two cents more.but why are you so interested in the old woman? she is the one who sells the candy.好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。” where is the father? two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.look, said the elder brother.how nice these paintings are!yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children.where is the father? the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, obviously he was painting the pictures.父亲在哪儿？

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。” an alarm clock a young man went to a mountain village for his holiday.one night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ excuse me, sir.will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? im going to take the five oclock train tomorrow morning.”

“ oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ i am afraid i cant.i dont get up that early.” the young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ do you have an alarm clock? that would help me.”

“ yes, here it is, young man.”

the young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man.but when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it.“ does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man.“ sure!just shake it when its time to get up, and itll ring.”

一只闹钟

一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。

上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗？我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”

“哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。”

年轻人正想回到房间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗？或许它能帮助我。”

“我有，给你，年轻人。”

年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。“它能准时闹吗？”他问老头儿。

“那当然！时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。” one engine left a 747 was halfway across the atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, attention, passengers.we have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach london with the three we have left.unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult.shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captains voice again, guess what, folks.we just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one.we will now arrive in london three hours late.at this point, one passenger became furious.for petes sake, he shouted, if we lose another engine, well be up here all night!只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”篇三：英语演讲幽默开场白

英语演讲幽默开场白

作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。

作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。

幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness.eyestrain.yes 幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。

创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常

紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。

创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我.我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。

let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？

如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。

演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。

幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。

幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。

第三篇：初中英语演讲小故事

初中英语演讲小故事 who deserves help? many years ago, there lived a very rich man who wanted to do something for the people of his town.but first he wanted to find out whether they deserved his help.so he placed a very large stone in the center of the main road into town.then he hid behind a tree and waited.soon an old man came along with his cow.the young man then began to move the stone.he pushed and pulled with all his strength to move it to one side.but imagine his surprise when under the stone he found a bag full of money and this message: this money is for the thoughtful person who removes this stone from the road.that person deserves help.hello everyone,today im very glad to be here to addrea speech about joking.as we all feel, we are having a busy life--busy working,busy studying,busy talking,busy eating,and even,busy falling asleep!in this rapid developing world,we have to be busy or we will fall behind篇二：英语小故事 演讲稿

我要自由 i want be free good afternoon,everyone.today,my topic is “i want to be free.”it’s a story about a wolf and a dog.a wolf was almost dead with hunger.a house-dog saw him,and asked,”friend,it’s bad for you.”

so the wolf and the dog went to the town together.on the way ,the wolf saw that there was no hair around the dog’neck.he felt quite surprised,and asked him why it was like that? “oh,it is nothing.”said the dog.”every night my master puts a collar around my neck and chains me up.you will soon get used to it.”

“is that the only reason.”said the wolf.”then good bye to you,my friend.i would like to be free.”

do you like to be free?every.thank you for listening.下午好。今天，我的话题是“我要自由”。这是一个关于一只狗和一只狼的故事。

一只狼快要饿死了，一只狗看见后问他，“这对你是不好的，为什么不像我一样稳定地干活并有规律地获得食物呢？”

狼说：“如果我有个地方住，我没有意见。”狗回答说：“跟我到主人那里去，我们一起工作。”于是狼和狗一起回到村子。

在路上，狼注意到狗的脖子上有一圈没有毛，他很奇怪地问为什么会那样。

“噢，没有什么。”狗说，“我的主人每天晚上都用一条铁链子拴住我，你很快就会习惯的。”“就是因为这个原因吗？”狼说道，“那么，再见了，我的朋友，我宁愿选择自由。”

你想要自由吗？谢谢大家。篇三：初中英语演讲幽默故事 bighead “wheres the shopping bag?”

“i havent got one,use your hat.”

大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”

“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪？”

“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” good boy little robert asked his mother for two cents.what did you do with the money i gave you yesterday? i gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.youre a good boy, said the mother proudly.here are two cents more.but why are you so interested in the old woman? she is the one who sells the candy.好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。” where is the father? two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.look, said the elder brother.how nice these paintings are!yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children.where is the father? the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, obviously he was painting the pictures.父亲在哪儿？

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。” an alarm clock a young man went to a mountain village for his holiday.one night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ excuse me, sir.will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? im going to take the five oclock train tomorrow morning.”

“ oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ i am afraid i cant.i dont get up that early.” the young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ do you have an alarm clock? that would help me.”

“ yes, here it is, young man.”

the young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man.but when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it.“ does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man.“ sure!just shake it when its time to get up, and itll ring.”

一只闹钟 一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。

上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗？我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”

“哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。”

年轻人正想回到房间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗？或许它能帮助我。”

“我有，给你，年轻人。”

年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。“它能准时闹吗？”他问老头儿。

“那当然！时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。” one engine left a 747 was halfway across the atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, attention, passengers.we have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach london with the three we have left.unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult.shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captains voice again, guess what, folks.we just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one.we will now arrive in london three hours late.at this point, one passenger became furious.for petes sake, he shouted, if we lose another engine, well be up here all night!只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。

第四篇：初中英语演讲小故事

who deserves help?

many years ago, there lived a very rich man who wanted to do something for the people of his town.but first he wanted to find out whether they deserved his help.so he placed a very large stone in the center of the main road into town.then he hid behind a tree and waited.soon an old man came along with his cow.“who put this stone in the center of the road?” said the old man, but he did not try to remove the stone.instead, with some difficulty he passed around the stone and continued on his way.another man came along and did the same thing;then another came, and another.all of them complained about the stone in the center of the road, but not one of them tried to remove it.late in the afternoon, a young man came along.he saw the stone and said, “the night will be very dark.some neighbor will come along later in the dark and will fall against the stone.”

the young man then began to move the stone.he pushed and pulled with all his strength to move it to one side.but imagine his surprise when under the stone he found a bag full of money and this message: “this money is for the thoughtful person who removes this stone from the road.that person deserves help.”

hello everyone,today i'm very glad to be here to addrea speech about joking.as we all feel, we are having a busy life--busy working,busy studying,busy talking,busy eating,and even,busy falling asleep!in this rapid developing world,we have to be busy or we will fall behind others,but the busy life always bring us more or lesome unpleasent,but luckyly,we have an easy but excelent way to deal with it,that is,to joke!

a funny joke may relax our feelings,ma-ki-ng the busy more enjoyable;a friendly joke may better the atmosphere when two people meet the first time;a humor joke can make others laugh while feeling you are a clever person.joking is such a good thing,so remember to crack a joke and keep a happy mood in your busy life.thanks.

第五篇：英语演讲幽默开场白

英语演讲幽默开场白

作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。

As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences.One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep.And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。

作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。

As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address.When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning----especially by the program committee.幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。

I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.And so, at this very moment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.And it really works.I no suffer from nervousness.Eyestrain.Yes

幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。

创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常

紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。

Personally, I have never been conceited---and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。

创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我.我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。

Let me put this into plain English.I’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？

如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。

If you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one I know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。

创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。

演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

Making a speech is like watering a lawn.You’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。

演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么——我也不知道。At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common.You don’t know what I’m going to say---and neither do I.幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for

television.I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。

As some of you may know, I’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons.The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated---and they did.The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。

创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？