第一篇:TED英文演讲稿:谈转变心态的珠峰游(附翻译)
TED英文演讲稿:谈转变心态的珠峰游
(附翻译)
last year when i was here, i was speaking to you about a swim which i did across the north pole.去年,当我站在这里的时候,我在谈论我横跨 北极的游泳。
and while that swim took place three years ago, i can remember it as if it was yesterday.那还是发生在3年前,对我则好像是昨天一般。
i remember standing on the edge of the ice, about to dive into the water, and thinking to myself, i have never ever seen any place on this earth which is just so frightening.我还记得我站在冰层的边缘,就要扎进水里,然后我自己想到,我再也再也 不要看到地球上的这个地方,这里是如此的让人恐惧。
the water is completely water is minus degrees centigrade, or 29 degrees 's flipping freezing in that water.那里的水是全黑色。水的温度是负摄氏度,华氏29度。那水里就是翻动的冰块。
and then a thought came across my mind: if things go pear-shaped on this swim, how long will it take for my frozen body to sink the four and a half kilometers to the bottom of the ocean?然后一个念头在我脑中划过: 如果这场泳出了点问题,我这冰冻的身体要花多长时间 才能沉到这4500米的底部呢?
and then i said to myself, i've just got to get this thought out of my mind as quickly as possible.然后我告诫我自己,我要把这个念头尽快的 抛在我的脑后。
and the only way i can dive into that freezing cold water and swim a kilometer is by listening to my ipod and really revving myself up,能让我扎入 这冰冷的水里 然后游了4千米的唯一方法就是 听着我的ipod,让我自己全力运转起来,listening to everything from beautiful opera all the way across to puff daddy, and then committing myself a hundred percent--there is nothing more powerful than the made-up mind--and then walking up to the edge of the ice and just diving into the water.我听了所有的歌,从华丽的歌剧 到吹牛老爹,然后全身心的投入 没有什么比下定决心还要厉害的--然后走到冰的边缘 扎入水里。
and that swim took me 18 minutes and 50 seconds, and it felt like 18 days.这次游泳花了我 18分50秒,但好像是18天一样。
and i remember getting out of the water and my hands feeling so painful and looking down at my fingers, and my fingers were literally the size of sausages because--you know, we're made partially of water--when water freezes it expands, and so the cells in my fingers had frozen and expandedand burst.我记得当我从水里出来时 我的手时如此的疼痛 然后我看着我的手指,我的手指真的像香肠一样粗,因为--你们知道了,我们身体一部分由水组成--当水结冰时会膨胀,这样我手指的里细胞 就冷冻了,膨胀了炸裂了。and the most immediate thought when i came out of that water was the following: i'm never, ever going to do another cold water swim in my life again.我从水里上岸的一瞬间的想法 时这样的: 我一生中 再也再也不要去在冰冷的水里游泳了。
anyway, last year, i heard about the himalayas and the melting of the--(laughter)and the melting of the glaciers because of climate change.就这样,去年,我听到了喜马拉雅山 以及那里融化的--(笑)因为气候变化 所融化的冰川。
i heard about this lake, lake imja.我听说了这个湖泊,映佳湖。
this lake has been formed in the last couple of years because of the melting of the glacier.这个湖是几年前 由于冰川融化所形成的。
the glacier's gone all the way up the mountain and left in its place this big lake.这些冰川顺山而下 然后在这里留下了这个大湖。
and i firmly believe that what we're seeing in the himalayas is the next great, big battleground on this earth.由此我坚信 我要去看见的喜马拉雅 就是我下一个在地球上的 战场。
nearly two billion people--so one in three people on this earth--rely on the water from the himalayas.将近20亿的人口--世界上三分之一的地球人口--依靠着喜马拉雅山的水源。
and with a population increasing as quickly as it is, and with the water supply from these glaciers--because of climate change--decreasing so much, i think we have a real risk of instability.而世界人口照这个速度发展下去,而冰川水源的提供--由于气候的变化--下降的如此之快,我像我们就有了一个十分不稳定的威胁。
north, you've got china;south, you've india, pakistan, bangladesh, all these countries.北方,我们由中国;南方,我们有印度,巴基斯坦,孟加拉,和其它所有国家。
and so i decided to walk up to mt.everest, the highest mountain on this earth, and go and do a symbolic swim underneath the summit of mt.everest.这样我决定了 登上珠峰,地球上的最高峰,如何在珠峰下 游一次具有象征意义的泳。
now, i don't know if any of you have had the opportunity to go to mt.everest, but it's quite an ordeal getting up there.我不知道,你们是否有机会去珠峰,但是要去那的话,是一个考验。great, big, powerful yaks carrying all the equipment up onto this mountain--i don't just have my speedo, but there's a big film crew who then send all the images around the 只巨大的牦牛 载着所有的仪器登上山峰--我不仅仅带这我的泳裤。还有一个摄像团队这个摄像团队,会向世界各地直播。
the other thing which was so challenging about this swim is not just the altitude.这次游泳的挑战不仅仅只有 海拔。
i wanted to do the swim at 5,300 meters above sea level.我想做的是在5300米的海平面上游泳。
so it's right up in the heavens.所以直达天堂。
it's very, very difficult to breath.you get altitude sickness.这里呼吸十分,十分困难。你会有高原反应。
i feels like you've got a man standing behind you with a hammer just hitting your head all the time.你会感到有一个人不停的那着一把锤子 在敲你的后脑勺。
that's not the worst part of it.这还不是最差的。
the worst part was this year was the year where they decided to do a big cleanup operation on mt.everest.最糟糕的是,这一年他们决定 在珠峰上做一个大扫除。
many, many people have died on mt.everest, and this was the year they decided to go and recover all the bodies of the mountaineers and then bring them down the mountain.许多人死在珠峰上,然后今年,他们决定 收回珠峰上所有的尸体然后把他们带下山。
and when you're walking up the mountain to attempt to do something which no human has ever done before, and, in fact, no fish--there are no fish up there swimming at 5,300 meters--而当你想上山 做一些事情 一些没有人做过的事情,事实上,鱼都没游过。在5300米的海拔高度上,没有任何鱼在那里游过。
when you're trying to do that, and then the bodies are coming past you, it humbles you, and you also realize very, very clearly that nature is so much more powerful than we are.当你尝试着去做这些事情,然后你看到这些尸体和你擦肩而过,这让人不禁有些气馁,也让你就会清晰的认识到 自然比我们要强大多了。
and we walked up this pathway, all the way up.然后我们就沿着这条路 一直走上去。
and to the right hand side of us was this great khumbu glacier.然后在我们的右手边 是巨大的昆布冰川。
and all the way along the glacier we saw these big pools of melting ice.然后,我们在沿路经过所看到的冰川的 都是一大块融化的冰块。
and then we got up to this small lake underneath the summit of mt.everest, and i prepared myself the same way as i've always prepared myself,for this swim which was going to be so very difficult.然后我们到达在珠峰下 的一个小湖这 然后我开始准备自己,像往常一样准备自己,因为这样的游泳方式会是十分艰难的。
i put on my ipod, i listened to some music, i got myself as aggressive as possible--but controlled aggression--and then i hurled myself into that water.我带上我的ipod, 我听听歌,我让我能有多激奋就多激奋--但是是可以控制的激奋--然后我把我自己扎进水里。
i swam as quickly as i could for the first hundred meters, and then i realized very, very quickly, i had a huge problem on my hands.我尽力的游着 最起码在前一百米,然后,我突然意识到,我面临一个巨大的问题。
i could barely breathe.我几乎不能呼吸。i was gasping for air.我喘了一口气。i then began to choke, and then it quickly led to me vomiting in the water.然后我开始呛水了,这导致我在水里呕吐。
and it all happened so quickly: i then--i don't know how it happened--but i went underwater.这一切发生的如此之快 然后--我不知到是怎么发生的--但是我沉入水底。
and luckily, the water was quite shallow, and i was able to push myself off the bottom of the lake and get up and then take another gasp of air.但幸运的是,水比较的浅,我可以从湖底跳起来 然后喘另一口气。
and then i said, carry on.carry on.carry on.然后我说道,坚持,坚持,坚持。
i carried on for another five or six strokes, and then i had nothing in my body, and i went down to the bottom of the lake.我继续划了五到六下水,然后我就筋疲力尽了,我沉入湖底。
and i don't where i got it from, but i was able to somehow pull myself up and as quickly as possible get to the side of the lake.但是我不知从哪来的力气,我可以就这样 把自己从湖底以最快的速度 弄到湖的岸边。
i've heard it said that drowning is the most peaceful death that you can have.我听说过溺水 是你可以死的最安详的方式。
i have never, ever heard such utter bollocks.我从来没有听过 这样的胡说八道。
(laughter)it is the most frightening and panicky feeling that you can have.(笑)这是你们所感受过的 最恐惧,最惊慌的感觉。
i got myself to the side of the lake.我把我自己拽到湖岸。
my crew grabbed me, and then we walked as quickly as we could down--over the rubble--down to our camp.我的队友抓住了我,然后我们以最快的速度 下山--在碎石中--到达我们的营地。
and there, we sat down, and we did a debrief about what had gone wrong there on mt.everest.在那里,我们坐下来,然后我们做了一下在珠峰 哪里出错的报告。
and my team just gave it to me straight.然后我的队员直接告诉我。
they said, lewis, you need to have a radical tactical shift if you want to do this swim.他们说道,lewis, 你要有一个 剧烈的战术变化 如果你想完成这个游泳。
every single thing which you have learned in the past 23 years of swimming, you must forget.你必须忘掉 在23年里所学到的游泳 里所有的东西。
every single thing which you learned when you were serving in the british army, about speed and aggression, you put that to one side.以及忘掉你在英国部队里 所学习的,关于那些速度和激奋,你要先放在一旁。
we want you to walk up the hill in another two days' time.我们想让你花两天走上山。
take some time to rest and think about things.花点时间休息和思考。
we want you to walk up the mountain in two days' time, and instead of swimming fast, swim as slowly as of swimming crawl, swim breaststroke.我们想让你花两天走上山。不要游的太快,但是慢慢的游。不用自由泳,但是用蛙泳。
and remember, never ever swim with aggression.然后记住,不要游太激奋。
this is the time to swim with real humility.是时候谦逊地 去游泳了。
and so we walked back up to the mountain two days later.所以我们又走了回去 两天后回到山峰下。
and i stood there on the edge of the lake, and i looked up at mt.everest--and she is one of the most beautiful mountains on the earth--我站在那 在湖的边缘,然后望向珠峰--她是地球上最美丽的山峰之一--
and i said to myself, just do this slowly.我就像这样慢慢的对我自己说道。
and i swam across the lake.然后我游过了这个湖泊。
and i can't begin to tell you how good i felt when i came to the other side.我无法告诉你们 当我到达湖的另一边时 我感觉有多好。
but i learned two very, very important lessons there on mt.everest, and i thank my team of sherpas who taught me this.但是我从珠峰学习到两个十分,十分 重要的教训。我十分感谢我队伍中的夏尔巴告诉了我这些。
the first one is that just because something has worked in the past so well, doesn't mean it's going to work in the future.第一个就是 一个事情无论原来是怎样的,并不代表在未来就会怎样。
and similarly, now, before i do anything, i ask myself what type of mindset do i require to successfully complete a task.相同的,现在,在我做一件事情之前,我问到我自己,我需要 怎样的一种态度 才能成功的完成我的任务。
and taking that into the world of climate change--which is, frankly, the mt.everest of all problems--just because we've lived the way we have lived for so long,just because we have consumed the way we have for so long and populated the earth the way we have for so long, doesn't mean that we can carry on the way we are carrying on.然后这样来想一想气候变化,那是,说实话,珠峰和其他所有的问题--不能因为我们已经像这样生活了这么长时间,不能因为我们已经像这样消费了那么长时间 不能因为我们像这样人口增长了这么长时间,就意味着我们可以这样像以往一样坚持下去。
the warning signs are all there.警告信号就在那。
when i was born, the world's population was billion people.当我出生时,世界的人口 只有35亿。
we're now billion people, and we're expected to be 9 billion people by 2050.现在有68亿 然后我们预计在2050年有 90亿。
and then the second lesson, the radical, tactical shift.这里就有第二个教训,剧烈的战术改变。
and i've come here to ask you today: what radical tactical shift can you take in your relationship to the environment, which will ensure我今天来到这里问你们: 你在你的环境里 能做出怎样的剧烈的战术转变 才能保证
that our children and our grandchildren live in a safe world and a secure world, and most importantly, in a sustainable world?我们的子孙 能居住在一个安全的 一个保险的世界,最重要的是,一个可持续发展的世界?
and i ask you, please, to go away from here and think about that one radical tactical shift which you could make, which will make that big difference,然后我要求你,请你们,从这里出发 然后想象 你要做怎样的 激进的战术变化,才能做出巨大的改变,and then commit a hundred percent to doing it.如何下定决心去做。
blog about it, tweet about it, talk about it, and commit a hundred percent, because very, very few things are impossible to achieve if we really put our whole minds to it.些关于这些变化的博客,微博,谈论一下,然后全身心投入。因为如果我们 全身心投入,只有很少事情是不可能的。
so thank you very, very much.所以,十分感谢你们。
编辑推荐:
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第二篇:竞选学生会主席英文演讲稿(附翻译)
竞选学生会主席英文演讲稿(附翻
译)
竞选学生会主席英文演讲稿(附翻译)
文/小雷
2017年9月8日
It is great to be at our school, it is an honor to have everybody here to listen to my speech.This is beyond anybody’s expectation, I stand here run for the student council president.My name is Thor, today is my 15th birthday.In your mind, maybe I’m a person like Chaplin, a comedian, a person don’t take thing’s seriously.But now, I’m ready for new challenges.In the past two years, the student council officers
were all girls, it doesn’t mean boys don’t have the ability to run the student council, I don’t know what they are fearing about, why students were kept talking about the weaknesses about the student council, but don’t have the courage to stand here and run for the president.People who are close to me knows, I have a good sense of humor, also I’m a person that is willing to help other people.I’m a person who follow my passion, during 2012 to 2014, I was the leader of the singing group that consisted by my classmates.I’m not a person that force other people to do something, I let people in the group vote which song they want to sing, so they are very happy to sing with each other, most importantly I light their passion of singing.In the end, we sang two song on a charity party, it received a lot of appreciation, that’s why I think democracy is very important.In my life, the most important thing is to keep my friends around me, in our school, I made lots of friends.In the past 3 years, our school have a lot of activities and events that helped me to increase our friendships.The thing I like the most about our school is that we don’t have a lot of students in each class, and each class is mixed by students from different countries and different backgrounds.Another thing I like about this school is that the student council listens to student’s ideas.Although some activities can’t come to reality because of the financial problems.To get more money for student council, I will make relation products for our mascot, sell them and gathering money to make students’s ideas come true.In our school, we have a lot of talented student, I’m good at music, so I want to do a few concert with our
musicians and artist in our school, I will give the profit to the blind school in Qingdao.This activity also gives a chance to students to do there service and action.If I become the president of the student council, I will try to gather every student’s idea and turn their ideas into reality, this will help students to get involved in the school’s community, and it also will help students to be a more successful person in their future life.I am planning to start a sport department in our school, sports is an area which we should improve on I will support students who are interested at sports to run the sport department.Then I will continue the youth club on Friday after school, we will do more activities and try to enjoy our weekend time, such as skate board club, photography club and debate club as some of the students talked about, I will
organize those kinds of club if I am elected, and I will let students in our school take leaderships.The school is developing, open your visions, don’t see things in tiny views.You should start thinking about what school’s going to be like in the future.Keep following your passions, you can eventually succeed.so Tell me what’s your passion, and we will work together and make your dreams come true.Thank you.Vote for me, I will offer you a great school year.非常高兴能在美好国际学校。很荣幸大家能坐在这里听我演讲。我知道,任何人都没有想到,我会在这里竞选学生会总统。
我的名字叫雷元帅,今天是我的十五岁生日。在你的印象中,我可能是一个喜剧演员,一个不经常认真做事的人。今年,我已经准备好接受新的挑战了。在过去的两年中,学生会的主要成员都
是女生,这并不代表男生没有能力去领导学生会,我不知道为什么同学们总是在讨论学生会不好的地方,但是却没有勇气站在这里竞选会长。
我身边的好朋友都知道我是一个幽默感很强,乐于助人的男人。
在我的生活中,最重要的事情就是跟朋友保持良好的关系,在我们学校,我交到了很多好朋友。在过去的三年中,我们学校有很多活动来增进我和朋友之间的关系。在这个学校中,我最喜欢的地方就是一个班的人数很少,并且同学都来自不同国家,有着不一样的背景。这样在与朋友的交往中,也可以学到其他国家的文化。
这个学校另一个让我喜欢的的地方是,学生会会采纳学生们的意见,但是因为经济的问题,有些学生的想法不能实现。
为学生会赚到更多的钱,我会做一些我们学校吉祥物的周边产品,然后卖掉来赚取资金。
在我们学校,有很多有天赋的学生,我计划与我们学校的音乐家和艺术家们举办几场演奏会,我会把演奏会的收入捐给慈善机构,这项活动也可以给学生们提供机会做他们的社会实践活动。
如果我变成学生会主席,我会试着帮助每个学生实现他们的想法,这会帮助学生更好的融入学校的生活,这也会帮助学生在将来成为一个更加成功的人。我计划开设体育部,体育一直是我们学校需要进步的地方,我会让热爱体育的学生去领导体育部。
我还要继续我们学校周五下午的青年俱乐部,我们会做更多有趣的活动,享受我们的周末时光,比如说去年同学们提出的滑板俱乐部,摄影俱乐部,辩论俱乐部等。如果我选上了总统,我会做以上这些有趣的活动,并且让学生来领导这些活动。
学校在发展,不要用狭小的眼光去看事情。你应该开始想一想学校将来会
是什么样子。跟着你的激情走,你将会是一个成功的人。告诉我你的梦想,我们来一起实现它。
谢谢大家。投票给我,我会给你一个精彩的学年。
第三篇:竞选学生会主席英文演讲稿(附翻译)
竞选学生会主席英文演讲稿(附翻译)
文/小雷
2017年9月8日
It is great to be at our school, it is an honor to have everybody here to listen to my speech.This is beyond anybody’s expectation, I stand here run for the student council president.My name is Thor, today is my 15th birthday.In your mind, maybe I’m a person like Chaplin, a comedian, a person don’t take thing’s seriously.But now, I’m ready for new challenges.In the past two years, the student council officers were all girls, it doesn’t mean boys don’t have the ability to run the student council, I don’t know what they are fearing about, why students were kept talking about the weaknesses about the student council, but don’t have the courage to stand here and run for the president.People who are close to me knows, I have a good sense of humor, also I’m a person that is willing to help other people.I’m a person who follow my passion, during 2012 to 2014, I was the leader of the singing group that consisted by my classmates.I’m not a person that force other people to do something, I let people in the group vote which song they want to sing, so they are very happy to sing with each other, most importantly I light their passion of singing.In the end, we sang two song on a charity party, it received a lot of appreciation, that’s why I think democracy is very important.In my life, the most important thing is to keep my friends around me, in our school, I made lots of friends.In the past 3 years, our school have a lot of activities and events that helped me to increase our friendships.The thing I like the most about our school is that we don’t have a lot of students in each class, and each class is mixed by students from different countries and different backgrounds.Another thing I like about this school is that the student council listens to student’s ideas.Although some activities can’t come to reality because of the financial problems.To get more money for student council, I will make relation products for our mascot, sell them and gathering money to make students’s ideas come true.In our school, we have a lot of talented student, I’m good at music, so I want to do a few concert with our musicians and artist in our school, I will give the profit to the blind school in Qingdao.This activity also gives a chance to students to do there service and action.If I become the president of the student council, I will try to gather every student’s idea and turn their ideas into reality, this will help students to get involved in the school’s community, and it also will help students to be a more successful person in their future life.I am planning to start a sport department in our school, sports is an area which we should improve on I will support students who are interested at sports to run the sport department.Then I will continue the youth club on Friday after school, we will do more activities and try to enjoy our weekend time, such as skate board club, photography club and debate club as some of the students talked about, I will organize those kinds of club if I am elected, and I will let students in our school take leaderships.The school is developing, open your visions, don’t see things in tiny views.You should start thinking about what school’s going to be like in the future.Keep following your passions, you can eventually succeed.so Tell me what’s your passion, and we will work together and make your dreams come true.Thank you.Vote for me, I will offer you a great school year.非常高兴能在美好国际学校。很荣幸大家能坐在这里听我演讲。我知道,任何人都没有想到,我会在这里竞选学生会总统。
我的名字叫雷元帅,今天是我的十五岁生日。在你的印象中,我可能是一个喜剧演员,一个不经常认真做事的人。今年,我已经准备好接受新的挑战了。在过去的两年中,学生会的主要成员都是女生,这并不代表男生没有能力去领导学生会,我不知道为什么同学们总是在讨论学生会不好的地方,但是却没有勇气站在这里竞选会长。
我身边的好朋友都知道我是一个幽默感很强,乐于助人的男人。
在我的生活中,最重要的事情就是跟朋友保持良好的关系,在我们学校,我交到了很多好朋友。在过去的三年中,我们学校有很多活动来增进我和朋友之间的关系。在这个学校中,我最喜欢的地方就是一个班的人数很少,并且同学都来自不同国家,有着不一样的背景。这样在与朋友的交往中,也可以学到其他国家的文化。
这个学校另一个让我喜欢的的地方是,学生会会采纳学生们的意见,但是因为经济的问题,有些学生的想法不能实现。
为学生会赚到更多的钱,我会做一些我们学校吉祥物的周边产品,然后卖掉来赚取资金。
在我们学校,有很多有天赋的学生,我计划与我们学校的音乐家和艺术家们举办几场演奏会,我会把演奏会的收入捐给慈善机构,这项活动也可以给学生们提供机会做他们的社会实践活动。
如果我变成学生会主席,我会试着帮助每个学生实现他们的想法,这会帮助学生更好的融入学校的生活,这也会帮助学生在将来成为一个更加成功的人。我计划开设体育部,体育一直是我们学校需要进步的地方,我会让热爱体育的学生去领导体育部。
我还要继续我们学校周五下午的青年俱乐部,我们会做更多有趣的活动,享受我们的周末时光,比如说去年同学们提出的滑板俱乐部,摄影俱乐部,辩论俱乐部等。如果我选上了总统,我会做以上这些有趣的活动,并且让学生来领导这些活动。
学校在发展,不要用狭小的眼光去看事情。你应该开始想一想学校将来会是什么样子。跟着你的激情走,你将会是一个成功的人。告诉我你的梦想,我们来一起实现它。
谢谢大家。投票给我,我会给你一个精彩的学年。
第四篇:一篇初一英文演讲稿Oral Presentation(附翻译)
一篇Oral Presentation(附翻译)
Hello everyone.On this special day, it’s my pleasure to tell you my viewpoints on what happiness is about.Students may get happiness when they have got high scores on schooling.Employees may get happiness when they have got more salaries.Employers may get happiness when they have pursued maximum profits.But for me, happiness is very simple.One will feel comfortable and pleasant when he accompanies a girl on her side.You may get happiness when you are addicted to some hobbies such as playing music instrument, doing some handwriting or something else.Happiness will appear immediately if you have the belief of your own.Enjoy life and freedom.Well-being will stay with you for the lifetime.大家好,在今天这个特别的日子,我很高兴跟大家说说我对幸福的看法。学生拿到高分就会有幸福感。员工涨工资就会有幸福感。老板获得最大化利益就会有幸福感。但对我来说,幸福很简单。当一个人陪在她的身边就会感到舒服快乐。当你沉迷于某些爱好如玩乐器,练书法等等,也会有幸福感。当你有了你自己的信念,幸福感会立刻出现。享受生活和自由。幸福感会伴随你一生。
第五篇:TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)_1
TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)
when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client.i was a student in clinical psychology at berkeley.she was a 26-year-old woman named alex.now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.now when i heard this, i was so relieved.my classmate got an arsonist for her first client.(laughter)and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.this i thought i could handle.but i didn't handle it.with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“thirty's the new 20,” alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right.work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later.twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life.i pushed back.i said, “sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy.”
and then my supervisor said, “not yet, but she might marry the next one.besides, the best time to work on alex's marriage is before she has one.”
that's what psychologists call an “aha!” moment.that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20.yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make alex's 20s a developmental downtime.that made alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it.that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now.we're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if you're in your 20s.i really want to see some twentysomethings here.oh, yay!y'all's awesome.if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see — okay.awesome, twentysomethings really matter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.this is not my opinion.these are the facts.we know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “aha!” moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.people who are over 40, don't panic.this crowd is going to be fine, i think.we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it.we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35.so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.it's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.but what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.but this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence.journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” it's true.as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time.isn't that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “you have 10 extra years to start your life”? nothing happens.you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “i know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count.i'm just killing time.” or they say, “everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i'm 30, i'll be fine.”
but then it starts to sound like this: “my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself.i had a better résumé the day after i graduated from college.”
and then it starts to sound like this: “dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.i didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”
where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high.when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.it's realizing you can't have that career you now want.it's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling.too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “what was i doing? what was i thinking?”
i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.here's a story about how that can go.it's a story about a woman named emma.at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis.she said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder.she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”
well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour.she'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “in case of emergency, please call....” she was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, “who's going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who's going to take care of me if i have cancer?”
now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, “i will.” but what emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared.emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance.i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma's defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are.do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next.i didn't know the future of emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital.so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try.i'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration.that's procrastination.i told emma to explore work and make it count.second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated.best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work.that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends.so yes, half of twentysomethings are un-or under-employed.but half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job.it's not cheating.it's the science of how information spreads.last but not least, emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.i told emma the time to start picking your family is now.now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and i agree with you.but grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress.the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state.that weak tie helped her get a job there.that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums.she's married to a man she mindfully chose.she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough.”
now emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what i love about working with twentysomethings.they are so easy to help.twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west.right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji.likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.so here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know.it's as simple as what i learned to say to alex.it's what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family.don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.you're deciding your life right now.thank you.(applause)
译文:
记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。当时我是berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。我的第一位顾客是名叫alex的女性,26岁。第一次见面alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。
当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。我觉得我可以搞定。但是我没有搞定。
alex不断地讲有趣的事情,而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的,很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。alex说:“30岁是一个新的20岁。”没错,我告诉她“你是对的”。工作还早,结婚还早,生孩子还早,甚至死亡也早着呢。像alex和我这样20多岁的人,什么都没有但时间多的是。
但不久之后,我的导师就要我向alex的感情生活施压。我反驳说:“当然她现在正在和别人交往,她现在和一个傻瓜男生睡觉,但看样子她不会和他结婚的。”而我的导师说:“不着急,她也许会和下一个结婚。但修复alex婚姻的最好时期,是她还没拥有婚姻的时期。”
这就是心理学家说的“顿悟时刻”。正是那个时候我意识到,30岁不是一个新的20岁。的确,和以前的人相比,现在人们更晚才安定下来,但是这不代表alex就能长期处于20多岁的状态。更晚安定下来,应该使alex的20多岁成为发展的黄金时段,而我们却坐在那里忽视这个发展的时机。从那时起我意识到,这种善意的忽视,确实是个问题,它不仅给alex本身和她的感情生活带来不良后果,而且影响到处20多岁的人的事业、家庭和未来。
现在在美国,20多岁的人有五千万,也就是15%的人口,或者可以说所有人口,因为所有成年人都要经历他们的20多岁。我专门研究20多岁的人,因为我坚信这五千万的20多岁的人,每一个人都应该去了解那些心理学家、社会学家、神经学家和生育专家已经知道的事实:你的20多岁是极简单,却极具变化的时期之一。你20多岁的时光决定了你的事业、爱情、幸福甚至整个世界。
这不是我的看法。这些是事实。我们知道80%决定你生活的时刻发生在35岁之前。这就意味着你生活的重要决定、经历和突然的领悟,有八成是在你30多岁之前发生的。那些超过40岁的朋友不要惊慌,我想这群人会没事的。
我们知道职业生涯的前XX年,对你将来的收入有重大影响。我们知道到了30岁的时候,超过半数的美国人会结婚,或者和未来的另一半同居或者约会。我们知道人在20多岁的时候,大脑停止第二次也是最后一次重组,以适应成年世界的快速发育阶段。这就意味着不管你想怎样改变自己,现在是时间改变了。
我们知道在20多岁的时候,性格的改变多于生命中任何时期。我们也知道女性的最佳生育时期,在28岁的时候达到顶峰,35岁之后生育变得困难。所以你的20多岁正是了解你自身和选择的时期。
当我们想到孩童的成长时,我们都知道1-5岁,是大脑学习语言和感知的重要时期。这个时期,日常的普通生活,都会对你的未来道路影响巨大。但是我们却很少听到成年发展期,而我们的20多岁正是成年发展期的关键。
但是20多岁的人却听不到这些,报纸讨论的只是成年年龄界线的变更。研究者称20多岁是延长的青春期。记者就引用傻傻的外号称呼20多岁的人,比如“twixters”(twenty-mixters)和“kidults”(kid-adults)。这是真的。作为一种文化,我们的忽视的正是对成年起到决定性作用的十年(从20岁到30岁)。
雷昂纳德·伯恩斯坦说过:要想取得成就,你需要一个计划和紧迫的时间。这是大实话啊!所以当你拍着一个20多岁的人的脑袋,跟他说,“你有额外的XX年去开始你的生活”,你觉得这改变了什么?什么都没改变。你只是夺走了那个人的紧迫感和雄心壮志,绝对没有改变什么。
然后每天,那些聪明有趣的20多岁的人,就像你们和你们的儿子女儿一样,走入我的办公室开始说:“我知道我的男朋友对我不够好,但是我们的关系不算数。我只是在消磨时光而已。”或者说“每个人都告诉我,只要能在30岁的时候开始我的事业,这就足够了。”
但是实际听上去却是:“我马上就要三十了,却根本就没有东西展示。我只是在大学毕业时,有过一份最漂亮的简历。”或是这样:“我20多岁时的约会,就像找凳子。每个人都绕着凳子跑,随便玩一玩,但是快30的时候,就像音乐停止了,所有人开始坐下。我不想成为那唯一站着的人,所以有时候我会想我和我丈夫之所以会结婚,是因为在我30岁的时候,他是当时离我最近的那张凳子。”
20多岁的人呐,千万不要这样做。这个做法听起来有点轻率,但是不要犯错,因为风险很高。当很多事都被挤到你30多岁的时候,就会有巨大压力,在很短的时间内快速启动一项事业,挑一个城市,找到伴侣,生两三个孩子。这些事大多是不能同时完成的,正如研究表明,在30岁的时候,要想工作、生活一步到位,难度很高,压力很大。
千禧年后的中年危机并不是一辆红色跑车。而是意识到你不能拥有你想拥有的事业,意识到你不能拥有你想要的孩子,或者给你的孩子添个兄弟姐妹。太多30多岁40多岁的人,看看他们自己,看看我,坐在屋子里谈论自己的20多岁,“我当时都干么了?我当时都想啥了?”我想改变现在20多岁人的所思所为。
这里我想讲个故事说明问题。这个故事是关于名叫emma一个女人。她25岁的时候,走入我的办公室,因为用她自己的话说,她有自我认识危机。她说她也许想从事关于艺术或者娱乐的工作,但是她还没决定。所以取而代之的是,她花了过去几年的时间当服务员。为了减少开销,她和她的男朋友同居,一个脾气暴躁而无志向的人。
正如她悲惨的20多岁,她早年的生活更加悲惨。她经常在谈话过程中哭泣,努力镇定下来后说“你没办法选择你的家庭,但是你可以选择你的朋友。”有一天,emma走进来,她双手抱头于膝盖,然后抽泣了几乎一个小时。她刚买了一个新的通讯录本子,然后花了一整个早上的时间,填写她的联系人信息。当她填到“万一发生紧急情况,请联系…”的时候,她没有任何人可填。
她几乎崩溃地看着我并说,“如果我被车撞了,谁会在那里?假如我得癌症了,谁会在那里?”在那种情况下,我花了好大力气才忍住说“我会。”emma所需要的,并不是理疗师所真正关心的。她需要一个更好的生活,我知道这是她的机会。自alex开始,我从这份工作上学到了很多,不能只是坐在那里看着emma十年黄金定型期白白消逝。所以接下去的几个星期几个月,我告诉emma三件事,所有20多岁的男生女生都值得听一听。
首先,我告诉emma忘掉她的自我认识危机,去获得一些身份认定的资本。
身份资本是指做增加自我价值的事。为自己下一步想成为的样子,做一些事一些投资。我不知道emma的工作将来是什么样的,也没人知道将来的工作是什么样的,但是我知道:身份资本会创造出更多身份资本。
现在是时候去尝试你想要的海外工作、实习或者新起点。我不是轻视20多岁的自我探索,而是轻视那些随便玩玩无所谓的探索,或者从某种意义上说那不是探索。那是拖沓!我告诉emma去探索工作,让她的探索有所回报。
第二,我告诉emma不要高估自己的朋友圈。
好朋友会载你去机场,而和“志同道合的朋友”瞎混的20多岁的人,他们的交际圈、知识面、思维方式、说话方式和工作层面都被限制住了。新的资本或者新的约会对象,往往是从内部交际圈之外来的。新的事情来自我们所谓的“远的关系”,我们朋友的朋友的朋友。
没错,半数20多岁的人,处在失业和半失业的状态。但是另外一半的人却不是这样的,“远的关系”正是你融入一个新的群体的纽带。有半数的新工作从来不公示出来,所以联络你邻居的老板,是你找到那些未公示工作的方式。这不叫作弊,这是信息传播的科学方式。
最后一点也很重要,emma相信你无法选择你的家庭,但是你可以选择你的朋友。可这只是她成长时期的状况。
作为一个20多岁的人,emma很快会与某人为伴组建她自己的新家庭。我告诉emma现在就是你选择你家庭的时候。现在你也许会想相比于20岁,25岁或30岁时组建家庭会更好。我同意你的看法。但是当你facebook上的朋友,都开始步入婚姻殿堂时,你随便抓一个人一起生活、睡觉,绝对不是组建家庭的过程。
经营你婚姻的最佳时间,是你还没结婚的时候,这意味要像你为了工作一样精心谋划。选择你的家庭,是有意识地去选择你想要的人和事,而不是为了结婚或者消磨时光,任意选择一个正好选择你的人。
emma发生了什么变化呢?
我们翻了一遍通讯录,她发现她原来的舍友的表妹,在另一个州的一家艺术博物馆工作。这层远关系帮助她在那里得到一份工作。这份工作给她一个理由离开她那同居的男友。现在五年过去了,她是一名博物馆特别活动策划者。她和一个她用心选择的男人结婚了。她爱她的事业,她爱她的新家,她寄给我一张贺卡写道,“现在紧急联系栏似乎不够填呢。”
emma的故事听起来简单,这正是为什么我爱和20多岁人打交道。帮助20多岁的人很容易。20多岁就像离开洛杉矶飞往西部某处的飞机,起飞之后,一点小小变化,都会影响到它最终将降落在阿拉斯加还是斐济。
同理,在你21岁,25岁甚至29岁的时候,一次好的谈话、好的休息、好的ted演讲,能在未来的几年甚至几代人的时间里,带来巨大的影响。因此这个想法值得传达给每一个你所认识的20多岁人。这想法就像我后来告诉alex的话一样简单。
我每天都对像emma这样的20多岁的人说:30岁不是一个新的20岁,所以规划好你的成年生活,获得一些身份认同资本,利用你的远关系,选择你的家庭。不要被你所不知道的,从未做过的事所禁锢。你现在的作为决定着你的人生。
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