第一篇：英语口语剧本
612 The One With The Joke 612 笑话
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there.Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
蒋雨晨: Hey, you’re not going to believe this.I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy.They printed it!嘿，这真不可思议。我把我编的笑话寄给《花花公子》，他们竟然登出来了！
薛思强: I didn’t know Playboy prints jokes.真不知道《花花公子》还登笑话。
蒋雨晨: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism.It’s not just about the pictures.没错，他们登笑话，采访稿，有力的新闻，并不只是那些照片。
蔡海瑞: That didn’t work on mom, it’s not going to work on us.反正不会说服妈妈看，我们也不看。
蒋雨晨:(showing them the page)Here, check it out.It’s the first one, too.(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, who’s a little angry.)
瞧这，头一条就是我的。
李刚: That is funny.It was also funny when I made it up.很有趣，更有趣的是，这笑话是我编的。
蒋雨晨: What? 什么？
李刚: I made that joke up.这笑话是我编的
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didn’t.I did.不，不，不对，这是我编的。
Chandler: Yes, I did.I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard.是我编的。我在上班的时候把它讲给DAN，他说这是他听过的最好的笑话。
Ross: Hey, tell Dan, ‘Thanks.’
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)嘿，替我谢谢DAN。Ross: What? 怎么了？
Rachel: I’m sorry, I was just reading the joke below it.Man, that one is funny.(Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)对不起，我在看下面那则笑话，啊，它真搞笑。
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? 莫尼卡，你记得我给你讲过这个笑话，对吗？
Monica: No.不记得。
Chandler: Seriously? 真的？
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!你的笑话讲的太多了！
Ross: Look, Chandler, it’s my joke.But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they don’t print the name, so it doesn’t really matter who gets credit, right?
听着钱德，这是我的笑话。但是，嘿，他们没有印我的名字，也许这让你好过一点。所以究竟该归功于谁并不重要，对吧？
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.对，我想是。
Joey:(entering)Hey guys.嘿，诸位。
Chandler:(jumping up from his chair)Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.嘿乔依，《花花公子》登出了我的笑话。
Ross: No, it’s my joke, it’s mine.You can call them, they’ll tell you.不，这是我的笑话，是我的。你可以给他们打电话，他们会告诉你的。
Chandler: It’s my joke.是我的笑话。
Ross: It’s my joke.是我的笑话。
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa.Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right? 哇呜！笑话？你们肯定知道里面有裸体小妞，对吧？
第二篇：校园趣事(搞笑、英语口语、五人、中英文剧本)
此剧本讲述了三个学渣讨债不成、学霸搞基的搞笑故事，结局出人意料却在情理之中。适合五人表演
校园趣事
场景一
小华家
小华 小雨 小飞上
小雨——大哥 咱们都饿了好几天了 这种悲惨的生活我们要过到什么时候啊 哎 小华——雨 这 大哥我怎么可能不难受嘛 可是常言道 人在屋檐下 怎能不低头 现在我们正在******大学学习这年头能有这大学读就很不错了 哪还有什么奢求呀
小飞 ——大哥 对了 上个月小罡来问我们借走了500块钱给他朋友交托福学费 都好久了还没还 我们是不是应该去要回来
小雨——是啊大哥 不然的话这样下去我们就得吃翔了
小华——哎 就是 我怎么这岔给忘了 走 走 走 赶紧跟我去隔壁寝室 旁白——兄弟三人就此去了隔壁寝室找小罡 小雨：（敲门）小罡，开门，开门（小罡对小明做出嘘的姿势）小雨：好像出去了，我们先回去吧（走回去）
场景二
小明——大家早上好 我就是天才小明 可我最近却很是郁闷 我那个基友非要拉我去参加什么托福考试 还要我看这么厚的书 做这么多的题（双手指一指PPT上的金瓶梅给大家看看）真是太可笑了
我以后可是要当科学家的！干嘛还要我看这种书
小罡—小明（远处喊）
小明——基友来了 他太啰嗦了
我可受不了 小罡——亲爱的 你的书背的怎么样了 小明——这些书看得我头昏眼花 光想打瞌睡
小罡——哎 你看 现在竞争这么激烈 我已经在这待小半辈子了 你要是不好好考托福，我们还怎么去外国留学？
旁白：过了10分钟，三人又来了（走回来）
小飞：（敲门）开门，开门（小罡对小明做出嘘的姿势）小雨：好像还没有回寝室（过了会儿，又回去）
小明—— 这些书太简单了 统统不用看（扔书）小罡——哼！你说简单 那我考考你 小明——小小考试焉能难道我（对观众说）小罡——首先考你听写（小明郁闷状）听着 大妈 怎么写 土豪 怎么写 小明——。。。小罡——土豪 怎么写 小明——（不会 抓耳挠腮）小罡——你连这都不会。小明——崩溃了（捂耳朵 忙劝）小明（做找单词状）（删除一句）
小罡（怒）——你近日温习功课 一律不准见外人 来人我就说你回家去了
我先去洗澡 你给我继续学习
旁白——由于去了两次都没开门，小飞怒了
小飞——大哥 下次要见小罡 你先给我说一声 我把他绑来见你 如此劳烦大哥 甚是无礼
小华——现在欠钱的都是大爷 我们还是再去一回吧
小飞——（等不及了）小罡 快出来 兄弟们 帮我照顾好我七舅老爷和他三外甥女。。你要是不出来 我就一把火把你这寝室烧了！
小雨——葵花点穴手（小飞定住 眼睛睁得大大的）哎 飞 我们是来要债的 又不是来要命的 你把人家砍死了 谁来给我们还债呀 明白了 你就眨眨眼睛
（小飞眨眼）小雨——葵花解穴手
旁白——过了一会
小华、小雨、小飞三人已经到了门口
场景三
（小华
咚咚咚敲门）
三人：小罡（小明准备开门）
旁白——小明正在兴奋的时候 小罡马上从浴室出来 小罡——不能让他进来
小明——亲爱的 请放心 我定能让小华空手而归（小明开门）
三人——还钱！（此时三人用枪指着小明头）小明——给我一个机会 我想做个好人 小华——怎么给你机会 说出来看看
小明——请看(扇子指向幻灯片 幻灯片放***、****等答案大全)小华——（若有所思）看不出你如此有见地 小明——如果我把这文件送给你们 不知可否抵债 小华——这„„（瞬间惊喜）不知以后可否抱你的大腿 小明（眼珠子转转）看来不能帮你。。
小华——（急）请先生莫要推辞（手里拿着钱，晃一晃）
小明——这。。只是小弟近日正在为托福烦恼，如果你能将此事帮在下了结，这也不是不行。
小华——（面有难色）这。。
小飞 ——（拉小华到身边耳语到）大哥，这年代，我们可以找枪手，买答案啊。（幻灯片放淘宝上的答案）小华——好
场景四
旁白——三个月后，托福成绩出来了。小明——好消息好消息 我托福考了114分
小罡——什么！114分！这下我们终于可以去芬兰了（ppt上放“芬兰允许同性恋”图片）
旁白——故事就此完结。（PPT上放“结束 谢谢观赏”）
SCENE 1:
Actors: XiaoHua
XiaoYu
XiaoFei
XiaoYu: Brother!We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!
XiaoHua: Yu, it's impossible that I don’t feel painful, isn’t it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope.Now we are studying in ****** , It's very hard to get into the university now.What are you dreaming about?
XiaoFei: Oh, Brother!XiaoGang borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his friend’s TOEFL fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.XiaoYu: Yeah, Brother!Or we have to eat shit.XiaoHua: Alas!How did I forget this? Let's go!Go~~ go~!Hurry up!Follow me and go to the next dormitory
Aside: And then the three brothers go to the next dormitory to find XiaoGang.XIAOYU: XiaoGang, open the door!Open the door.XIAOYU: He may be go out.Let's go back.SCENE 2: XIAOMING’s house
XIAOMING: Good morning!I am the genius XIAOMING.But I feel so morose recently.Because my gay friend forced me to pass the TOEFL.And he obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts.It’s ridiculous.I decided to be a scientist.Why should I read this?
XiaoGang: XiaoMing!
XIAOMING：My gay friend is coming，he is so long-winded that I can never bear his.XiaoGang：Honey, how about your study?
XIAOMING：These books make me want to doze.I’m dizzy.XiaoGang：Alas!Competition is so serious now.I have stayed here for half of a lifetime.If you can’t pass TOEFL, how can we study abroad?
Aside: After ten minutes, three people came again
XIAOFEI: Open the door!Open Open!
XIAOYU: It seems that he has not back to the dormitory.XIAOMING：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for me and don’t need to learn.XiaoGang：Are you sure? Let me have a test to you.Listen，read and see!XIAOMING：A piece of cake!
XiaoGang：First, dictation.Listen, can you spell 大妈? 土豪?
XIAOMING: ……..XiaoGang：土豪?
XIAOMING: Sorry I can’t.XiaoGang： You can’t?
XIAOMING（找单词状）
XiaoGang：You are too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so I will tell the people who calls on you that you have gone home.I need to take a shower now.You still study！
Aside: Because they went twice, but no one came to the door.XiaoFei was very angry.XIAOFEI: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you.It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.XIAOHUA: These days, the borrower is the god!Let’s go there again.XIAOFEI: XiaoGang!Come out!Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece.Get out, or I will burn your dormitory down!
XIAOYU: 葵花点穴手!AIsa.Fei, we are here for debt, not for his life.If you will kill him, where is our money? If you know, please bat your eyes!
XIAOYU: 葵花解穴手!
Aside: Then, XiaoHua XiaoYu XiaoFei came to the gate.（小华 咚咚咚敲门）
Three: XiaoGang
（小明准备开门）
Aside: At this time, XiaoMing is exciting, but XiaoGang get out of the bathroom soon.XiaoGang: We can’t let him in.XiaoMing: My darling, please don’t worry.I can make XiaoHua go back with nothing
（小明开门）
Three : Pay back my money
XIAOMING: Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.XiaoHua: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.XIAOMING: Look
XiaoHua: You are so knowledgeable.XIAOMING: If I give you the document, could I not repay your money?
XiaoHua: En…….I hope I can hug you close some day
XIAOMING: But I can’t help you，XiaoHua: Please don’t refuse.XIAOMING: En……sorry, I can’t.Because my gay friend forces me to pass the TOEFL recently.If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.XIAOHUA: En…..XiaoFei:(Pull)Brother, come here.We can find somebody help him do the test or buy a key?
XiaoHua:Great
SCENE 4: XIAOMING’s Home
Aside：After three month, TOEFL scores came out.XIAOMING：（Happy）Sir , I am really a god.TOEFL has got 114 scores.XiaoGang：What happened? 114 scores!We can go to Finland eventually.Aside: That’s all, Thank you!
第三篇：英语口语考试四人剧本之interview 面试
背景介绍：
一家公司要招聘Rose和Jack 是面试官，Ada和Awen是应聘者
情景一：两位面试官确认身份，询问应聘者，说明招聘的职位，能力要求 情景二：两位应聘者的自我介绍
情景三：面试官向两位应聘者提问题，问题有，A:Hello,Miss Awen,Miss Ada,I ‘m Rose
B:I’m Jack，nice to meet you ,now you two should make a introduction first.C: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now I will introduce myself briefly.I am 26 years old, born in Shandong province.I graduated from Qingdao University.My major is electronics.And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2003.I spent most of my time on study, and I’ve passed CET-6 during my university.And I’ve acquired basic knowledge of my major.It is my long cherished dream to be an engineer and I am eager to get an opportunity to fully play my ability.I think I'm a good team player and a person of great honesty to others.Also，I am able to work under great pressure.I am confident that I am qualified for the post of engineer in your company.That’s all.Thank you for giving me the chance.D: Good monring.It's a pleasure for me to be here in front of you to present myself.My name is Philip Wong, and I am a candidate for the position of Overseas Sales Representative.My background and work experience are tailor-made for this position.I studied marketing as an undergrad here in Taiwan, and in 1985, I received my MBA from the University of Texas School of Business.For five years now, I have utilized my skills and knowledge as the Assistant Director of Exports for magic kitchen Supplies.A position with your company would be both a learning experience and a great opportunity.I look forward to becoming part of the Action team.Thank you.A：Are you a multi-tasked individual？（你是一位可以同时承担数项工作的人吗？）or Do youwork well under stress or pressure？（你能承受工作上的压力吗？）C：Yes，I think so.The trait is needed in my current（or previous）position and I know I can handle it well.（这种特点就是我目前（先前）工作所需要的，我知道我能应付自如。）B：What is your strongest trait（s）？（你个性上最大的特点是什么？）D：Helpfulness and caring.（乐于助人和关心他人。）Adaptability and sense of humor.（适应能力和幽默感。）Cheerfulness and friendliness.（乐观和友爱。）
A： How would your friends or colleagues describe you？（你的朋友或同事怎样形容你？）C：（pause a few seconds）（稍等几秒钟再答，表示慎重考虑。）They say Mr.Chen is anhonest，hardworking and responsible man who deeply cares for his family and friends.（他们说陈先生是位诚实、工作努力，负责任的人，他对家庭和朋友都很关心。）D：They say Mr.Chen is a friendly，sensitive，caring and determined person.（他们说陈先生是位很友好、敏感、关心他人和有决心的人。）B：What personality traits do you admire？（你欣赏哪种性格的人？）
C：（I admire a person who is）honest，flexible and easy-going.（诚实、不死板而且容易相处的人。）
D:（I like）people who possess the “can do” spirit.（有“实际行动”的人。）
A：What leadership qualities did you develop as an administrative personnel？（作为行政人员，你有什么样的领导才能？）
C：I feel that learning how to motivate people and to work together as a team will be the major goal of my leadership.（我觉得学习如何把人们的积极性调动起来，以及如何配合协同的团队精神，是我行政工作的主要目标。）
D:I have refined my management style by using an open-door policy.（我以开放式的政策，改进我的行政管理方式。）
B：How do you normally handle criticism？（你通常如何处理別人的批评？）
C：Silence is golden.Just don‘t say anything;otherwise the situation could become worse.I do，however，accept constructive criticism.（沈默是金。不必说什么，否则情况更糟，不过我会接受建设性的批评。）
D：When we cool off，we will discuss it later.（我会等大家冷靜下来再讨论。）B： What do you find frustrating in a work situation？（在工作中，什么事令你不高兴？）C： Sometimes，the narrow-minded people make me frustrated.（胸襟狭窄的人，有时使我泄气。）
D：Minds that are not receptive to new ideas.（不能接受新思想的那些取。）
A：How do you handle your conflict with your colleagues in your work？（你如何处理与同事在工作中的意见不和？）
C：I will try to present my ideas in a more clear and civilized manner in order to get my points across.（我要以更清楚文明的方式，提出我的看法，使对方了解我的观点。）B：How do you handle your failure？（你怎样对待自己的失敗？）
C： None of us was born “perfect”。I am sure I will be given a second chance to correct my mistake.（我们大家生来都不是十全十美的，我相信我有第二个机会改正我的错误。）D:Well, I am hoping to get an offer of a better position.If an opportunity knocks, I will take it.我希望能获得一份更好的工作，如果机会来临，我会抓住。所以我亦有此打算。" A:OK,Thank you very much B:we need time to think it over
A:We will email you in 2days,please wait in patence C:thank you ,see you D:see you
第四篇：英语口语
1.It dawns on us slowly.我们渐渐地明白.2.I can't be resting on my laurels.我不能安于现状.3.Come to your senses.不要再做傻事了.4.It slipped my mind.我忘了.5.You're all lame!你们太逊了。
【美剧口语】1.It fits the pattern.这很典型.2.She wasn't just any girl.她不是一般的女孩.3.She's big on trust.她总刨根究底.4.She will come around.她会回心转意的.5.Quit your whining.不要发牢骚了.6.Headed your way继续往前走.7.The rest comes with time剩下的顺其自然吧.—《吸血鬼日记》
40句美国人嘴边最酷的英语 1.My time is your time.请你吩咐！2.My hands are tied.我很忙，无能为力。3.To make a long story short.长话短说。4.It’s a date.一言为定。5.That’s a steal.真便宜。6.She has no sense.她不懂事。7.It’s not big deal.没什么了不起。8.What’s the fuss? 吵什么？ 9.Don’t push me.别逼我。10.Have a good of it.玩得高兴。11.Go down to business.言归正传。12.Does it serve your purpose? 对你有用吗？ 13.It’s long story.一言难尽。14.Don’t play possum.别装蒜！15.Make it up.不计前嫌。16.Don’t over do it.别太过分了。17.You want a bet? 想打赌吗？ 18.Who wants? 谁稀罕？ 19.December heartbeat.黄昏恋。20.Follow my nose.凭直觉 21.Cheap skate.小气鬼！22.Big mouth.多嘴。23.I’m going to go.我这就去。24.can-do 能人 25.Leave me alone.别理我。26.Don’t pass the buck.不要推卸责任。27.I can’t put up with her.我受不了她。28.She is just thick-skinned.她真是厚脸皮。29.I see eye to eye with you.我与你的意见一致。30.We are on good terms.我们关系很好。31.Many people.many tastes.各有所好。32.One man’s meat is another man’s poison.对一个好的事对另外的人并不是好事。33.Many hands make light work.人多好干活。34.I won’t live on the handouts of other people.我不会靠人家的施舍过活。35.He is on his high horse these days.他这几天有点趾高气昂。36.You give him an inch and he will take a mile.得寸进尺。37.He is a fast talker.他是个吹牛大王。38.I can’t make two ends meet.青黄不接，月光一族 39.None of your keyhole.不准偷看。40.You don’t say!真想不到！
第五篇：英语口语
“Why are you crying?” he asked his Mom.“Because I’m a woman.” she told him.“I don’t understand,” he said.His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will...” He put in a call to God;when God got on the phone, the man said, “God, why do women cry so easily?”God said,“When I made woman she had to be special.I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world;yet gentle enough to give comfort.I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through fatigue and sickness without complaining.I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt them very badly.I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.I gave her a tear to shed.It’s hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.It’s her only weakness.It’s a tear for mankind.
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