英语小话剧 搞笑唐伯虎点秋香

第一篇：英语小话剧 搞笑唐伯虎点秋香

（江南四大才子结伴出游）

一女子：你们看，你们看，江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look!here comes the four handsome boys!)（众女子兴奋观看）

（四大才子摆ＰＯＳＥ，众女子倾倒逃散）（一女子被四人拦住，被迫跳河）

唐伯虎：想跑？你飞不出我的五指山的。（欲跳下河被拦住）(don’t go ,you can’t fly out of my five fingers!)祝枝山：伯虎兄，有人在看。(keep calm brother tang, someone watching)祝枝山：今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水，难怪那些女子要疯狂了。(Today we four handsome boys here, it's no wonder that those women are crazy!)

文斌：说得是，(that’s true)文征明：各位各位，既然大家今天兴致这么好，不如来吟首诗如何？（hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山：哎，征明兄提议的好啊。文斌兄你先来。That sounds great!so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!）文斌：来呀！(OK),山下一群鹅。文征明：嘘声赶落河。祝枝山：落河捉鹅一肚饿。唐伯虎：吃完回家玩老婆。

三人：哎呀，对得妙呀，真是绝句！(Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!)唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`(hahahahaha)三人：真的那么好笑？！(oh,what he laughed at? and What’so fanny!)文征明：为什么唐兄每次出游，都那么豪情奔放呢？(why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)文斌：乐而忘形，实在令人（三人）羡慕羡慕啊。(Joy but driven, really make we three envy)

祝枝山：不过老实说，在江南论文章，唐兄他才高八斗，论丹青，妙笔生花，真是不折不扣的才子啊。（but to be honest ,brother tang’s article and his painting are the most famous ,he is a real talent!）文斌：不错，最令人羡慕的就是他在音律方面也有很高的造诣。(yes,and he is also good at music)唐伯虎：那倒是，古今中外各种乐器我样样都玩得都出神入化。最近我还在研究一种西洋打击乐器，很带劲儿哦。有机会可以研究一下，大家。Thanks!There is no doubt that I can play all kids of instrument ,and recently I was studying a western instrument ,it’s perfect ,we can discuss someday!)文斌：对，研究一下！no problem!文征明：我觉得唐兄最令人羡慕之处，莫过于他的艳福啊。人人都知道，唐兄家中有八位夫人，各个都貌美如花，国色天香。做人能象唐兄这样，夫复何求啊？ But I think what most envy us is his 8 beautiful wifes ,if I have the same lift,there is no regret 唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(ahahahah)祝枝山：有马子可以上啊。Look, there is a beauty!祝枝山：哎，唐兄，你看桥头上有个婀娜多姿的女子，孤孤单单的。这样好了，你就当场示范一下你的泡妞大法，让我们兄弟几个好好地学一学。Brother tang ,look at the lonely girl ,how about you to show us how can we get a girl’s love!唐伯虎：这个嘛„„ let me see „

文斌：事关大家的福利，你没问题吧？！Hey ,go ahead ,we are waiting ,do you have something trouble!唐伯虎： 义不容辞。No,my pleasure 祝枝山：去呀。Come on!

唐伯虎： 小姐。Hai ,miss 女子：公子何事？（一回头，竟是如花！）yes? 三人：上！上！go go go 唐伯虎： 没什么，我想借小姐的肩膀搭一下，不知道可不可以？ Nothing, I just want to use your shouler ,so could you give me the chance ? 如花：这怎么行呢，我可是黄花大闺女啊。That’s crazy!I am not married!唐伯虎：我知道，我只不过是想整整我的朋友而己。其实在下正是唐伯虎。I know ,I just play a joke with my friends ,and you know what ,I am tang bo hu如花： 什么糖做的老虎，我不认识你。你再不走，我可要叫了。What? A tiger made by suger？infact I don’t know you ,if you don’t go ,I will shout!唐伯虎：这样好了，我给你公子何事？意思意思。Ok,keep calm ,how about I give you ten yuan 如花：一两银子？你当我什么，最起码十两！Ten yuan? No way ,at least one hundred yuan 唐伯虎：哇！你这德性还要十两？！干脆去抢了！wa!Look at you face ,it worth one hundred yuan ? you are really killing me!you are a robber!如花：不错，我就是抢！把钱拿出来！Right, I am a robber,give me your money（两人乱打）

唐伯虎：你„„你„„ you 如花：去死！To death you!唐伯虎：打你！Beat you!如花：捅你！Fight you!（最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）

三人：哎？搞什么鬼啊？（赶到桥上）怎么搞的？怎么啦？ Oh, what are they doing!what’s wrong!文征明：你出手也太重了吧？！You are too hard 唐伯虎：他想抢钱，这个死人妖！He want to rob my money,hey,you stupid ladyboy!三人：啊？！人妖？ what? ladyboy? 祝枝山：我喜欢！拿着。（祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）I like!文征明：真可惜！让他抢先一步！What a pity ,he robbed first

路人：just do what I tell you 唐伯虎：are you sure this can help me!路人：thrust me!and remember, you have give all the money that you sale yourself 唐伯虎：no problem!路人：you are not kidding me ? 唐伯虎：don’t worry ,I never cheat a fool man 路人：ok.good boy!街坊邻居们，快来啊，刚出炉的孝子大怕卖，不卖也来看一看啊！

（秋香和华府婢女石榴姐出门）hay ,sister and brother ,mother and father, look look ,look look,there is a good son to sale ,if you don’t buy also can have a look!石榴姐：这位小哥，一大清早就来这里卖身葬父，太不吉利了吧？

Hey ,little brother , it’s too bad to sale yourself at the monrning ,that’s unlucky 唐伯虎：我也不想啊。I know.but just sorry 秋香：我们好像在哪儿见过吧？你看起来好面善。You, I think I have see you before ,you look so familiar 唐伯虎：所谓相逢曾相识，求求两位姐姐可怜可怜我吧！Really, that’s doesn’t matter at all ,I beg you can buy me 石榴姐：真是好惨啊！我们正好缺个下人，我看就－－ that’s great.we just want to buy one（这时又来一个，推着木车，车上六个死人，这人还口吐鲜血，极其悲惨！）

惨人：我好惨啊，卖身葬全家！good ladys, please mercy on me ,I have to sale myself to bury all of my family 唐伯虎：不会吧？！Oh god ,I can’t believe it 惨人： 两位姑娘，可怜可怜我吧，我一家六口一晚上全死光了。我身染十级肺痨，半卖半送，你就买了我吧。Ladys, please buy me ,all of my family were died last night ,and I was illness ,you know how hard I am„.秋香：哎呀，石榴，你看他可怜多了，我们就把他买回华府，好不好？ Oh,that’s too bad ,石榴 ,let’s buy him ok!石榴姐：（哭）那就买他吧。All right, 唐伯虎：姐姐，我先来的哎。Hey, sister ,I come first!秋香：这不是先后到的问题嘛。There is no wander who come first1 石榴姐：对呀，人家家里死了六个，你家才死一个。我也很想帮你，可是我真的很为难啊。yes, he havelose six family ,but you just lose one ,I really want to help you ,but I can’t 唐伯虎：可是我也很惨啊but I also hard 石榴姐：你有什么比他更惨的，快说出来啊。So ,tell us what else can made you more hard than him 唐伯虎：我„„我„„这„„这„„，你看我这几天没有剪指甲了，里面全是黑泥，难道这还不够惨吗？ I „i„i„look at my hands ,I haven’t wash my fingers for a long time ,and all of them are full of dirty dusty isn’t hard than him?（惨人的小狗突然死去）惨人：（痛哭）旺财„„旺财„„旺财你不能死啊，旺财，你跟了我这么多年，对我有情有义，肝胆相照，但是到了现在我连一顿饱饭都没让你吃过，我对不起你啊，旺财！You can not die ,you and me live together for so many years ,wo just like brothers, but I can not give you a full lunch, I am so sorry（唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂，喊“小心啊！”，石榴姐一退，将蟑螂踩死了。）watch out!唐伯虎：（悲痛欲绝）小强！小强你怎么了小强？小强，你不能死啊！我跟你相依为命，同甘共苦了这么多年，一直把你当亲生骨肉一样教你养你，想不到今天，白发人送黑发人！small stronger „„.what’s wrong with you, small stronger ,you can not die ,I with you for so many years ,and I threat you as my only child ,can’t believe it, today ,white hair people send off black hair peple 石榴姐：秋香姐，他们两个都这么惨，怎么办？ 秋香，The tow are really hard ,and what should we do 秋香：看看再说。Let’s watching on 石榴姐：噢。ok

惨人：妈的！（走到唐伯虎跟前，两人对峙）大哥，你别闹了。你看看你那么干净，进去化个妆再来吧。你看看我，烂命一条，满手烂疮，你怎么惨得过我啊？ Bad ,don’t play me anymore ,look at your clean face , you are not a good actor!and look at me ,I have the skin cancer, and will die soon 唐伯虎：你不要跟我比啊，我最受不了人家跟我比了！Kao ,don’t compare with me ,i hate this game!惨人：跟你比又怎么样？ So what!唐伯虎：你这不是在逼我吗？ You said it!惨人：你能比我惨吗？yes, Can you do more things than me!（唐伯虎拾起一根棍，将自己的胳膊打断）

唐伯虎：你说你满手烂疮，我现在整条手都断了，谁比谁惨呀！How about this time ,I lose one of my leg , 惨人：你玩得太绝了吧？！you are cary!唐伯虎：你老子我今天跟你卯上了！Yes,I just decided to win you today 惨人：老子陪你玩到底！妈的，来呀！（拿棍子砸破自己的头，血流如注）想跟我玩？我连命都不要了，看你怎么跟我比！谁－敢－比－我－惨－啊？！（倒地身亡）ok, I’ll play with you!„ Bad guy ,I put my lift, and you? Hahaha,who can hard than me！!唐伯虎：好小子，算你惨，我们后会有期了！Good job!You win ,ok, see you then„ 石榴姐： 那个人死了，只有买你了！Stop, that man was die ,and I‘ll buy you 唐伯虎：是吗？really? 石榴姐：是呀！Yes!唐伯虎：那你再加五两。But I want to get five dollars 石榴姐：你这是坐地起价！You’re robbing me!唐伯虎：不是，我是想把这位老兄埋了。No no no ,I just want to bury the man 石榴姐： 真是个好人，就买他吧。（拿出银子）you are really a good person ,let’s buy him 秋香：哎，石榴，你说买就买呀！我们得先进去问问夫人才能决定呀。你明天再来吧。Ai..石榴，you can’t do this, we have to ask for the madom ,so come here tomorrow!石榴姐：我去问。I ask now 唐伯虎：秋香姐，辛苦你了！Sister 秋香，thank you!（秋香进门时回首对唐伯虎三笑）

唐伯虎：现在就开始挑逗我了。老娘！我得手了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~yes, I am so happy!

第二篇：话剧 新版唐伯虎点秋香 剧本

春：唉，江苏的考题太难了…….秋：数学题答案你们对了吗？第七题是根号3吗？

夏：不是吧，我对了，是2好吧！

冬：天哪！我数学选择题好像错了5个。

秋：你那算什么，我语文只对了两道，天哪，是怪那个死人唐伯虎，哼……

春：要不咱们把答案对一遍把？

冬：好啊！

四人一起掏试卷校对

（反面出场，配乐《猪八戒背媳妇儿》）

两排小弟站在两旁喊：大哥

小弟甲：大哥，前边有四个娘们，咱们上吧。

小弟乙：大哥，这四个女的看起来挺有钱的，今天抢了钱买点火腿肠解解馋。

小弟丙：还是喝馄饨吧。

（乙丙两人争吵有摩擦）

大哥（打小弟丙）：别吵了，光知道吃。

大哥（对女的说）：此道是我开，此花是我载….秋香（作惊恐状）：你们是什么人？！

大哥：我们是男人。

小弟甲（拦在大哥面前）：我们是黑社会的，听过没，怕了吧！

秋香和夏香抱在一起（发抖状），冬香和春香齐声：救命啊----（逃跑）

秋香(大声喊)：快去找伯虎

夏：我们遇上坏人了。

秋香：不怕，咱们是学生会的，怕啥。

夏香：听见没，我们是学生会的。

大哥：学生会？老子就是学生会面试没有通过才加入黑社会的。

小弟丁：老大我必须要出这口气。

（其他小弟要出手）

夏香：等等！我舅舅是城管！

大哥（阻拦小弟）：住手，不能打她们，你们难道不知道吗？中国的城管，日本的忍者，美国的海豹突击队并称世界三大兵种，看来我们今天是劫不了财了。

小弟丁（猥琐状）：大哥，我们劫不了财可以劫色嘛。

大哥：你他妈的什么眼光（殴打小弟，被众人拖住）

（此时春香和冬香逃跑）

小弟丙：大哥，别打了，有两个女的跑了。

大哥：别管跑了的了，把剩下的两个绑起来，抓住一个算一个，哼哼…..(坏笑)

小弟乙：大哥，左边那个是学生会招新的时候的面试官！

小弟丁；对！就是她直接把我们刷掉的！

小弟甲：要不咱和他们商量商量，让她们把咱弄进学生会去？

大哥：不错，上！

（众流氓和夏香、秋香谈条件）

另一幕

春香：夏香和秋香还在他们手里呢，我们快去找唐伯虎，我打电话给他

（音乐：正在通话中）

冬香：他肯定又在镜湖吟诗，我们快去（两人奔去）

（唐伯虎在镜湖吟诗）

冬香：请问您是镜湖湖畔的唐伯虎么？

唐伯虎（装逼一笑）：正是在下，姑娘找我何事？

春香（着急状）：秋香和夏香遇到一群流氓，快去救他们。

唐伯虎（震惊）：什么！在哪里，快带我去。（三人狂奔）

唐伯虎一行人赶到，唐伯虎吟诗····

小弟乙：大哥，有人来了，是不是她的城管舅舅？

大哥：不可能，世界上不可能有这么有文化的城管。、唐伯虎：你们这群自甘堕落的人，入不了学生会就入黑社会，不是还有社联合青协吗！大哥：你是？

唐伯虎（装帅）：我乃英俊潇洒、风流倜傥、玉树临风。义薄云天。貌赛潘安、智胜孔明、义超关羽、人间人爱、花间花开、车见车载，人称一朵梨花压海棠，迷倒千万中老年妇女，当年抛弃林青霞，甩掉戴安娜，情场杀手鬼见愁，人送外号天上地下无所不能玉面小飞龙，英俊与智慧的化身，侠义与任意的结合，江南才子唐伯虎是也。

大哥：兄弟们，这人如此不要脸，看来来路不凡啊。

小弟丙：是不是自管会的？

大哥：管他自管会学生会的的，开打！

（各种打斗）

流氓惨败

大哥（捂脸狼狈状）：兄弟们，撤…..冬香和春香：别让他们溜走了，追，快报警！

唐伯虎（唐伯虎看见秋香，凑上前去想要拉住秋香）：秋香，你没事把！

秋香（转头跺脚，生气状）；哼！

唐伯虎（无可奈何的转身，配乐，月亮代表我的心）：唉，曾经有一份真挚的爱情放在我的面前，我没有珍惜，等到我失去的时候我才后悔莫及，人世间最痛苦的事莫过于此。如果上天能扣给我一个再来一次的机会，我会对那个女孩说8个字，那道题我真的不会。（甩甩衣袖挥泪离去）

秋香（回首上前拉住唐伯虎的衣袖）：伯虎，别走，我..我错了

唐伯虎默默回首，两人深情凝视

剧终

第三篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

二人用版本

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman.He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students.He has a lot of money now.But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you.I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here.I’ll be a boss soon!Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops!It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands!Never mind!Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……

Oh, my god!Never mind!Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces

加旁白1人属于4人用）

白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen.She had a pretty daughter named Snow White.Soon after the child was born, the queen died.The queen married another queen.The stepmother was very jealous.She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：(Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen.I’m very beautiful.you see.If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her.I have a magic mirror.If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming.Your Majesty!What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes.Your Majesty!You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady.She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本

Global warming

A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?

B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can’t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!

A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.（4人版本）

Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company.This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo!I finally finish this case.It is really tough!I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too.I always get so busy in this season.I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much.What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case? Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right.Let’s pig out on junk food!

Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown.I miss German food!Ca: so do I.how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before.Do you have any recommendation? Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy.But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families? Wing&Ca: No Ci: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted.Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me.what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together.I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great!That is fantastic.Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplings Wing: Very good idea!We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”

Ca: sure, here you are.what s next? Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together.be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it.shall I blend them? CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well.A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared.lets start!CiCi: Wait!I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these? Ca: Wow!Cheese!Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God.Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!

CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life.Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

第四篇：英语搞笑话剧——三顾茅庐

Three visits to the cottage 主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）

旁白：

Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great

classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms.ZhuGeliang is one of the main

characters in the original.Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the

symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history.Another main actors——Liubei, who

visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to

be his military adviser.Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped

the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom.Now，let’s go into the story.第一幕

屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty 三兄弟上场，关羽（戴着头巾粘着纸条），刘备（戴着墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）

刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙

A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）刘：嗯？没点着，你个废物（伸手打张飞）。En? It dosen’t burn on.you are the follish 张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟

Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom!关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了 Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK.张飞：No problem.刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。

刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）

刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。

诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.仆人(本幕诸葛亮饰)：Heng!(哼)仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?

刘备：（紧接着）Spanish? 关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up!Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.张飞：(同样摆个pose，把仆人碰倒了)I’m Sorry.刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。仆人：你们怎么来的啊

What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course.仆人：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台

第二幕

三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品

关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time.张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）

What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了

稍息。。立正。。（张飞关羽照做）

Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention!刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）You three!Be clever this time!屋子中„„

（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了）

诸葛亮：MY GOD！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God！Why do you punish me?!旁白：老大别难过，班长不也没过吗

Don’t be sad,my boss.As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination.诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．

What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed···

（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门）旁白：谁啊

Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的

I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）

刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下

We are here again,bother to notice your boss.（悲伤歌曲放起，屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart..关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）

Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please.刘：What?！

张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧

I’m afraid some-one important of him died here.Let’s go.Maybe we should come next time.关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮

Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。）

第三幕

（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐）（诸葛亮又赢了）

旁白：老大你真NB You are the man!诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作

Hum！That’s a piece of cake.And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s company to find a job after Spring Festival.旁白：你想去刘备那里？？

What? You said you want to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语

En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English.旁白：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了

But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago.门铃响。

（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss!I ached for you so much, please help me!刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧

Be calm.Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it!（出发。）

诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。那，一月多少钱啊

Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will..I get..from you then.张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走）

It hurts feelings when it comes to money!闭幕。。

第五篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

英语搞笑话剧剧本-A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到“香国”。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

Princess: Daddy!Mommy!It’s time to sleep!Don’t forget to take medicine.(King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.)King: Oh, no!It didn’t work.Maybe we should get help from people.Queen: OK!(Point to Ada)You just do it.Go out on the streets and find some help.SCENE IV(Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people.Some people try to make the princess sleep.)Prince:(To himself.)A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work!I think I can make the princess sleep!Can I try? King & Queen: Yes!It’s our pleasure.Please try.Prince: Thank you!(Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.)Sorry!My dear princess!Princess: Oh!Your feet smell so awful.I can’t breathe and I want to sleep.King & Queen: Oh no!My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us!(King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.)King: She’s still breathing.She just fell asleep.(Queen hugs the Princess.)Queen: Thank you!Oh, thank God!My dear baby finally fell asleep.King:(To the prince.)Oh!Thank you!We are very lucky to meet you.Prince: I can’t believe it!My disgusting feet have magic power！Queen: Oh!Don’t say that!They are not disgusting at all.Congratulations!You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes!This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet.And then, she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.