第一篇：风趣幽默的小故事帮您背六级单词
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读故事记单词（六级）
abbreviation
n.缩写, 缩写词 abide
vt.容忍 abide by 遵守，履行 abnormal
a.反常的，异常的 abolish
vt.废止, 废除(法律、制度、习俗等)abortion n.流产, 堕胎 abound
vi.1.大量存在
2.（in,with）充满 ,富于 abreast
ad.并列，并排 keep abreast of
与„„齐头并进，了解„„的最新情况 abrupt
a.1.突然的,意外的
2.（举止、言谈等）唐突的，鲁莽的 abstain vi.1.弃权
2.（from）戒除 absurd
a.荒谬的，荒唐的 abundance
n.大量，丰富，充足
in abundance 充足，丰富 accessory
n.1.附件，零件，配件
2.[常pl.]（妇女手提包之类的）装饰品 3.同谋，帮凶，包庇犯 acclaim
vt.向„„欢呼，为„„喝彩 n.称赞，欢迎 accommodate vt.1.容纳
2.向„„提供住处（或膳宿）3.使适应，顺应 accomplice n.共犯，从犯 accountable a.负有责任的 ace
n.1.（纸牌等中的）幺点，“A”牌 2.（网球等比赛中）发球得分 3.（在某方面的）佼佼者 a.第一流的，杰出的 acoustic
a.1.听觉的，声音的 2.（乐器）原声的 acquaint
vt.（with）使认识，使了解，使熟悉
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acquit
vt.1.宣判„„无罪
2.（oneself）使（自己）作出某种表现 activate vt.使活动起来，使开始起作用
Accommodating a Pregnancy
Xiaomin never thought abortion was a big deal.As he became acquainted with American politics , however , he realized you have to work hard to keep abreast of changing values to truly understand how absurdly controversial this issue has become.He found out from his American friends that opinions are in abundance of how to teach people to be accountable for their actions, how to make people abide by Family Planning laws, and even how to teach people just to abstain from sex.The significance of this issue became abruptly clear when Xiaomin's best friend, Jeff, got his girlfriend pregnant.Jeff was an acclaimed graduate student who was living an abnormal life from other Americans just by attending a Chinese university to get his Ph.D.(Ph.D.is an abbreviation for Doctor of Philosophy, the highest degree available in a university).Jeff was also an ace soccer player and acoustic guitar player.There was also alway an abundance of women around him.This is how he met Sarah.When Sarah became pregnant with Jeff, his friends suddenly treated him as if he was an accessory to murder.Jeff also felt as if he needed to be acquitted of some crime.But he decided in the end that he and his accomplice, Sarah, would keep the baby.According to Jeff and Sarah, the life of their child was more important than their career.Xiaomin was amazed.Keeping the child would abolish any chance of a successful career for Jeff.And in Xiaomin's eyes, one could activate the process for an abortion with a simple visit to the doctor even though there might be lines, three people abreast.But Jeff and Sarah were firm in their decision and Xiaomin had to abide his friends' decision.Life abounded in surprises.Now Jeff and Sarah were leaving school and returning to the United States.They would do everying they could to accommodate themselves to their new situation.选择生孩子
小民从来没想过流产是个大事。但是，当他了解美国政治之后，他认识到得下很大的工夫才能一直了解不断变化着的价值观念，真正理解关于这个问题的争议是多么的荒唐可笑。他从美国朋友身上发现人们对许多问题的看法是很丰富的，如怎样教人们对自己的行为负责、如何使人们遵守计划生育的法律规定、甚至如何教人们节制性生活。小民最要好的朋友杰夫使女朋友怀孕了，这件事情使上述问题的重要性突然变得清楚了。
杰夫是位颇受赞扬的研究生，他的生活和其他美国人相比是有些反常，因为他在一所中国大学里读博士学位（Ph.D.是Doctor of Philosorhy的缩写，是大学里能够获得的最高学位）。杰夫还是一名优秀的足球运动员和原声吉他手，他身边总是有一大堆女人围着他，他就是这样和萨拉相识的。
杰夫使萨拉怀孕后，他的朋友突然把他当作是谋杀同谋。杰夫也觉得好象有必要判他有罪，但最终决定他和他的共犯萨拉将生下这个孩子。杰夫和萨拉认为，孩子的生命比他们的事业更重要。小民感到很吃惊，因为要这个孩子将彻底毁杰夫在事业上取得成功的机会。在小民看来，你只要去一趟医生那里，整个流产过程就会启动，尽管可能要排队，三个人并列而行。
但是杰夫和萨拉的态度很坚决，小民只好接受朋友们的决定。生活充满了出人意料的事情。现在杰夫和萨拉正打算退学回美国，他们会尽全力使自己适应他们的新生活。WORD affluent
a.富裕的，富足的 aftermath n.后果，余波 aggravate vt.1.加重
2.激怒，使恼火 aggregate n.总数，合计 a.总计的，合计 vt.1.总计达，合计 2.使聚集，使积聚
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in the aggregate 总共，作为总体 agitate
vi.（for,against）煽动，鼓动 vt.1.搅动，摇动 2.使焦虑不安 agony
n.（极度的）痛苦，创痛 agreeable
a.1.令人愉快的，惬意的 2.（欣然）同意的，乐意的 aide
n.助手，副官 ailment
n.小病，疾病
air-conditioning n.空调设备，空调系统 aisle
n.过道，通道 album
n.粘贴簿，集邮簿，像册 alcoholic
a.1.酒精的，含酒精的 2.由酒精引起的 n.酗酒者 alien
a.1.外国的，外国人的 2.陌生的
3.性质不同的，不相容的 n.1.外国人，外侨 2.外星人 alienate
vt.1.使疏远，使不友好，离间 2.转让，让渡（财产等）allege
vt.断言，宣称，硬说 alleviate
vt.减轻，缓解，缓和 alley
n.小巷，胡同 allot
vt.分配，拨出 alloy n.合金
vt.将„„铸成合金 allude
vi.（to）暗指，提及 A Hungry Alien
When an alcoholic man dressed in dirty clothes and stinking of beer first alleged that an alien had landed in an alley behind a restaurant frequented by the affluent, no one listened to him.Photos from the aftermath filled 10 photo albums.In the begining, as he rushed down the center aisle of the pleasantly air-conditioned room, the alcoholic wasn't able to successfully agitate anybody.It was as if they were only looking at his appearance and not listening to his words.When he did finally find someone agreeable to come outside and see what he said had happened, he was completely alienated to see that the creature was no longer there.Now that he had aggravated so many rich people, he was sure that he would leave the room in agony.His fears were alleviated, however, when the--------------------
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alien broke through a window into the restaurant, somehow knowingly coming to the aide of the alcoholic.When all the people realized that the alien that the alcoholic had alluded to was really there and composed of an aggregate of unknown alloy not affected by normal bullets, they screamed and ran around leaving no chance for anyone to allot a route of escape.They behaved, in the aggregate, as if no one in the world could relieve them of this alien ailment.And they were right.None of the outside help that came could stop the alien from eating everyone in the restaurant.饥饿的外星人
当一个穿着脏衣服、满口啤酒味的酗酒男人宣称有外星人在一家富人经常光顾的酒店后面的一个胡同里降落时，没有人听他的话。事后的照片装满了10个影集。
起初，当他从舒服的空调房间的中心过道冲进去的时候，这位酗酒者没能成功地鼓动起任何人。大家好象只在看他的样子，没有注意听他在说什么。当他终于找到一个人愿意出来看一看时，他完全成了孤家寡人，因为那东西已经不见了。由于激怒了那么多的有钱人，他清楚他不得不痛苦地离开那里。但是，很快他的恐惧得到了缓解，因为这时外星人破窗而入，好象知道要当酗酒者的助手似的。
当大家明白酗酒者提到的外星人确实存在而且总体上是由一种不知名的、普通子弹打不穿的合金构成的时候，他们尖叫着四处乱跑，竟没有留出一条出路，结果谁也没有机会逃出去。他们的行为总的来说就好象世界上没有人能把他们从这种性质不同的疾病中解救出来。他们的感觉是对的，因为任何外来的援助都没能阻止外星人吃掉酒店里的每一个人。WORDS allure
n.诱惑力，魅力
vt.诱惑，引诱，吸引 almighty
a.1.全能的，万能的 2.很大的，很强的 alternate
a.1.交替的，轮流的；供选择的 2.间隔的
v.（使）轮流，（使）交替 amass
vt.积累，积聚 ambiguous
a.引起歧义的，模棱两可的，含糊不清的 ambitious
a.1.有抱负的，雄心勃勃的 2.有野心的 amend
vt.修改，修订，改进 n.[pl.]赔罪，赔偿 amiable
a.和蔼可亲的，友好的 ammunition n.弹药，军火 ample
a.1.足够的
2.宽敞的，面积大的 amplify
vt.1.放大（声音等），增强 2.扩大，详述，进一步阐述 analogy
n.比拟，类比，类推 by analogy 用类推的方法 analyst
n.1.分析家，化验员
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2.心理分析学家 analytic
见analytical analytical
a.分析的，分析法的 anarchist
n.无政府主义者 ancestry n.祖先，世系 anecdote n.轶事，趣闻 angel n.1.天使 2.可爱的人 anguish
n.（精神或肉体的）极度痛苦 annex
vt.兼并，吞并 n.附属建筑物
It had been an ambitious plan.The anarchist had tried to rob a bank all by himself, but then he had ran out of ammunition and now he was trapped in a back portion of the bank building with no escape.As he stood in silence, hugging his gun and waiting to be found, the anarchist knew that there would be ample anecdotes from newspaper analysts the next day to amend to his obituary.They would certainly refer to the anguish he had undergone as a child.Then they would employ all their analytical abilities to reveal other impacts of his ancestry on his ambiguous life.These thoughts flew from his mind however when an angel suddenly appeared to him.He fell to his knees, sure that the Almighty God was coming to take him home.His fears were only amplified when the angel said in an alluring yet powerful voice, “Fear out, your time is short.Stop your goal to amass a foutune for yourself and turn to God.”
Not having any analogy to help him know what to say, or any reference for his excellent analytic abilities to think about, the anarchist only kneeled in silence and empty thought.Then the angel smiled and spoke again in a more amiable voice, “Stand up.The Lord is providing you a chance to lead an alternate life.Leave this place now through the rear buildings annex and you will escape.But remember, God is watching.”
When the angel was gone the anarchist stood and ran.He had no idea how to describe this experience by analogy, but he was happy for a second chance.第二次机会
这是一个野心勃勃的计划，这名无政府主义者想自己一个人抢劫银行，但后来他没了弹药，被困在银行大楼的后面无处可逃。
他静静地站着，紧紧地抱着枪，等着被发现，这时无政府主义者知道，第二天将有足够的报纸分析家撰写的轶事修改他的讣告。他们肯定会提到他小时侯经历的极度痛苦，然后运用他们所有的分析能力揭示他的祖先对他的含糊不清的生活方式的影响。
当这些想法在他的脑海里闪现，然而这时突然出现了一个天使。他跪下来，心想肯定是万能的上帝要抓他回去。天使的声音具有诱惑力和威慑力，这更增加了他的恐惧。“别害怕，你的时间不多了，别再为自己积累财富了，仰赖上帝吧。”
由于没有任何类比可以帮他知道该说什么，也没有任何参考供他优秀的分析能力进行思考，这名无政府主义者只能静静地跪着，脑子一片空白。
这时天使笑了，并且用更加友好的声音说道：“起来吧！上帝正给你一次机会让你过一种供选择的生活，现在你就穿过后面建筑物的附属建筑，离开这个地方，你会逃走的。但是记住，上帝在看着你。”
天使消失后，无政府主义者站起来跑掉了。他不知道如何用类推的方法描述这次经历，但是他很高兴能有第二次机会。WORD activist
n.（政治活动的）积极分子，活动家 addict
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n.1.有瘾的人
2.入迷的人
vt.使成瘾，使入迷 additive n.添加剂 adhere
vi.1.(to)粘附，附着
2.遵守，坚持
3.追随，支持 adhesive n.粘合剂
a.可粘着的，粘性的 adjacent
a.(to)邻近的，毗连的 adjoin
vt.贴近，与...毗连 adjourn
v.(使)休会，(使)休庭 administer
vt.1.掌管，料理...的事务
2.施行，实施
3.给予，派给，投(药)admiral
n.海军将领，舰队司令 adolescent n.青少年
a.青春期的，青少年的 adore
vt.1.崇拜，敬慕，爱慕
2.非常喜欢 adorn
vt.装饰，使生色 advent
n.出现，到来 adversary n.对手，敌手 adverse
a.不利的，有害的 aerial
a.1.飞机的，航空的，由飞机进行的2.空中的，架空的 n.天线
aesthetic
a.美学的, 审美的, 有审美感的 affiliate vt.使隶属于
n.附属机构，分公司 affirm
vt.1.断言，坚持声称 2.证实，确认 afflict
vt.使苦恼，折磨
A Change of Heart
The anti-war activist was not surprised at all that his primary adversay,the Admiral,had been afflicted with a drug addict for a son.He was actually quite happy to find out that his--------------------
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enemy had such personal problems.It was the advent of a new day,however,when the activist decided to help administer the treatment for the adolescent and help the Admiral fight this adverse situation.And it was clear that the [b][color=#ff0000]Admiral was a wonderful person when the activist saw how much the Admiral adored his son.Now living in an adjacent room in a special section of a treatment center, the activist was able to adhere to the strictest methods for helping the boy fight his addiction.The activist was able to help with aesthetic changes,such as adorning the boy with clean clothes, as well as affirm the boy as his body struggled with the medical additives that would help the boy get better.Certain events were luckily also not adhesive in the youth's mind.This included the boys' aerial leap from a tall building.He did not die only because he landed in the swimming pool of the adjoining building.And now the activist was gaining the attention of his affiliates because of his honorable actions.This had never been his motive.He had only wanted to help a person in need.And, as the Admiral adjourned their weekly meeting about the boy's progress,the activist was really happy that he had been able to make a difference in someone's life.彻底的改变
这位反战积极分子的主要对手，舰队司令因儿子染上毒瘾而十分苦恼，但他对此一点也不感到厅怪。实际上，发现他的敌人有这样的个人问题，他还感到很高兴。然而，当这位积极分子决定帮助实施对这位青少年的治疗并协助舰队司令对付这种不利情况时，新的一天到来了。很显然，当这位反战积极分子看到舰队司令对儿子是如何喜爱时，舰队司令成了一个可爱的人。
现在这位反战积极分子正住在邻近治疗中心特区的一个房间里，因而他能够坚持用最严格的方法帮助那个男孩戒除毒隐。这位反战积极分子能够用审美上的变化提供帮助，如用干净的衣服打扮男孩，当他的身体与医疗添加剂的副作用作斗争的时候他会断言它们会使他好起来。
有些事情幸好没有在这个年轻人的心中留下记忆，其中包括他从高楼的空中跳下，他没有死只是因为他掉到了邻近大楼的游泳池里。
由于他的诚心相助，这位反战积极分子得到了他的下属的注意。这并不是他原来的动机，他只是想帮助一个需要帮助的人。在舰队司令使每周召开的讨论男孩病情的会议休会时，这位积极分子为自己能使一个人的生活发生变化而感到由衷的高兴。word nutrient
n.营养品，滋养物 a.营养的，滋养的 nutrition n.营养 oak
n.1.栎树，像树 2.栎木，像木 oar
n.桨，橹 oath
n.1.誓言，誓约 2.咒骂，诅咒语 on/under oath 在法庭上宣过誓 obedient
a.服从的，顺从的 obscene
a.1.淫秽的，下流的 2.可憎的，可恶的 obscure
a.1.不著名的，不重要的 2.费解的，模糊不清的 3.隐藏的，偏僻的 vt.使变模糊，掩盖 obsession
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n.困绕，无法摆脱的思想（或情感）obstruct
vt.1.阻塞，堵塞 2.阻碍，阻止，妨碍 occupancy
n.占有，使用，居住 odor
n.气味，风味，声誉 odour 见odor offset
vt.补偿，抵消 offspring
n.1.子女，子孙，后代 2.（动物的）崽 olive
n.橄榄，橄榄树 opaque
a.1.不透明的，不透光的 2.难理解的，晦涩的 oppress
vt.1.压迫，压制
2.使（心情等）沉重，使烦恼 opt
vi.（for）选择，挑选 optimism
n.乐观，乐观主义 optimum
a.最合适的，最优的，最佳的 orchard n.果园
The Ceremony!
The small group of boys quietly put the oars into their boats and walked into the oak orchard that would lead to an obscure hiding place where they would take an oath to become members of a secret organization.Most were the offspring of previous members whose obsessions were to have their children follow in their footsteps.The boys were therefore the optimum candidates;children of the rich who would be obedient to anyone who would make them richer.As their leader passed them under an olive tree that was obstructing the entrance to a small opening, a strong odor reached all of their noses.It was a nutrient rich smell that still somehow oppressed them all.But the odor and the opaque speech by their leader that followed did nothing to offset the optimism all were feeling that what they were doing was right.This was an organization that they all wanted to be part of, no matter what.Then an obscene ritual occurred which the boys would never forget.When it was over the boys were reminded that they were now all under an oath of silence and the few new members of the organization with a limited occupancy.It was too late to opt out.As a final act they all had to drink a drink that was certainly not good for one's nutrition.It tasted like blood.But they were all in now.And none of them would ever be the same again.入会仪式
一小群男孩悄悄地把桨放进小船并走进橡树园，橡树园通向一个偏僻的隐藏地点，他们要在那里宣誓成为一个秘密组织的成员。他们大部分是先前的成员的子女，那些成员都有一种无法摆脱的思想，那就是让他们的孩子步他们的后尘，因此这些男孩是最佳人选：他们都是富家子弟，谁能使他们更有钱，他们就服谁。
他们的首领在一棵橄榄树下面从他们面前走过，橄榄树把一个小洞的入口堵住了，一股奇怪的气味直冲他们的鼻子。那是一种很有营养的味道，不知怎的还是让他们有些烦恼，但是那种味道及随后首领发表的令人难以理解的讲话并没有抵消他们的乐观情绪，他们觉得他们做得对。无论如何，这是他们都想加入的组织。--------------------
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然后就举行了男孩们永生难忘的可恶的仪式。仪式结束之后，男孩们被提醒他们现在已经发誓要保持安静，他们少数几个新成员居住的地方很小。现在决定退出已经太晚了。
他们要做的最后一件事是喝下一种东西，那东西肯定没有营养，喝起来像血，但现在他们都已经入会，他们谁也不会跟以前一样了。
ordeal
n.苦难经历，折磨，煎熬 orient
vt.1.使适应，使熟悉
2.（to,toward）使朝向，以„„为方向（目标）n.［the O_］东方，亚洲（尤指远东），东半球 oriental
a.东方的，东方人的，东方文化的 orientation
n.1.方向，目标，方位
2.熟悉情况，适应，情况介绍 originate
vi.（in,from,with）起源于，来自，产生 vt.创造，创始，开创 ornament
n.1.装饰品，点缀品 2.装饰，点缀
vt.装饰，点缀，美化 orphan n.孤儿
vt.使成为孤儿 orthodox a.1.传统的
2.正统的，正宗的 oust vt.1.驱逐
2.罢黜，罢免，把„„撤职（以取而代之）outbreak
n.（战争、情感、火山等的）爆发，（疾病、虫害等的）突然发生 outfit
n.1.（用于某种场合的）全套服装 2.（协同工作的）一组人 3.全套装备，全套工具 outing
n.远足，郊游，短途旅行，外出参观（或看戏等）outlaw
n.歹徒，亡命之徒 vt.宣布„„为不合法 outrage
n.1.义愤，愤慨
2.暴行，骇人听闻的事件 vt.激起„„的义愤，激怒 outright
ad.1.坦率地，直率地，无保留地 2.完全地，彻底地 3.立即，当场
a.1.清楚的，无疑的，明白无误的 2.完全的，彻底的 outskrits[pl.] n.外围地区，郊区，郊外 overdue
a.1.过期的，到期末付的
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2.早该有的，迟到的，延误的 overflow
vi.1.满得外溢，外流，泛滥 2.（with）充满，洋溢
vt.淹没，从„„中溢出，多得使无法容纳 n.1.容纳不下的物（或人）2.溢出，满出
3.溢流口，溢流管 overhear
vt.无意中听到，偷听到 overlap
v.1.（与„„）部分重叠 2.（与„„）部分相同 n.重叠，重叠的部分
An Outlaw Outing
The outing was long overdue.We had been hiding on the outskirts of town as outlaws for far too long.When we overheard that there was an outbreak of some sickness in town that had originated in the orient we knew it was time to come out of hiding and see what was going on.They were calling it the “Oriental Sickness” but we didn't care.The first person we met as we wandered into town was a boy who told us outright that he had just become an orphan.He had nowhere else to go and he wanted to join our outfit.Our leader was outraged that such a small boy had recognized us so easily, but we kept walking into town.Once there we saw that the ordeal must have been great.All ornaments on the buildings for the coming orthodox holiday season had been torn down, several were burnt from fire, and bodies were lying on the street.When we went to get water the bucket was overflowing with blood.We didn't dare drink anything.Quickly losing our orientation as outlaws on the run we were surprised when a mass of people rushed up to us.Their voices were overlapping as they cried for us to take them away.When we replied that we couldn't do anything the crowd turned ugly and ousted us from town.As we rode away none of us could speak.Sometimes natural events overwhelm you, as your own mistakes never can.歹徒的外出
出去的时间早就到了，我们作为亡命之徒在城外郊区已经躲得太久。当我们无意中听到城里爆发了一种来自东方的疾病时，我们知道是我们离开躲藏地点出来打探打探的时候了。他们称之为“东方病”，可我们不在乎。
我们漫步到街上首先碰到的是一个男孩，他坦率地告诉我们他刚刚成了孤儿，没有地方可去，想加入我们这邦人。我们的头儿很愤慨，因为这样一个小男孩居然这么容易就认出了我们，但我们还是继续往城里赶。
一到城里我们就发现那里一定发生过一场苦难经历。建筑物上所有为即将到来的传统节日准备的装饰品都被扯了下来，有些被火烧掉了，街上到处是尸体。我们去找水，水桶里却装满了血，我们什么都不敢喝。
作为逃跑中的歹徒我们很快迷失了方向，看到一大群人冲向我们，我们非常吃惊。他们大声喊着要我们把他们带走，他们的声音重叠在一起。当我们回答说我们帮不了忙时，人群变得凶巴巴的并把我们从城里驱逐出来了。
骑马离开的时候，我们谁也说不出话来。有时候，虽然你自己的错误决不会制服你，而天灾却会。WORD anonymous
a.1.无名的，不具名的2.匿名的
3.无特色的，无个特征的 antagonism n.对抗，敌对，对立 antenna
n.1.触角，触须
2.天线
anthropologist
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n.人类学家，人类学者 antonym n.反义词 ape n.猿
vt.模仿 appal 见appall appall
vt.使惊骇，使大吃一惊 apparatus
n.1.器械，器具，仪器
2.机构，组织 appease
vt.平息，抚慰姑息 appendix n.1.阑尾
2.附录
applaud vi.鼓掌，喝彩
vt.1.向...鼓掌，向...喝彩
2.称赞，赞许 appraisal
n.估计，估量，评价 apprehend
vt.逮捕，拘押，领会，理解 apprentice n.学徒，徒弟 apron n.1.围裙
2.台口(舞台幕前的突出部分)3.停机坪 apt
a.1.易于，有(做某事的)倾向
2.恰当的，适宜的3.聪明的，反应敏捷的 aptitude
n.(学习方面的)才能，资质，天资 arc
n.1.弧形(物)2.弧
3.电弧，弧光 arch
n.拱，拱门，拱形(结构)v.(使)成拱形
a.调皮的，淘气的 archaeology n.考古学
My Apprentice the Ape
The ape had stolen his research apparatus!But now the anthropologist was going to make hime pay!He had always thought his apprentice might be apt to make some stupid mistake that could cost hime dearly,but the apprentice's aptitude had failed him when he pretended to be an anonymous archeology student in front of his own wife.How could she not recognize him? No one was larger or heavier in all the university----that's why they had started calling him “the ape”.The anthropologist wasn't appalled to learn that his wife had played along with the--------------------
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game,and ,not wanting to stop baking and take her apron off, let his apprentice through the [b][color=#ff0000]arch into his secret office.That was when he stole the apparatus!And his wife soon realized that she had made a mistake.Now,as his antagonism was again rising and he had almost reached the house,the anthropologist was certain that he would be able to apprehend the ape and appease his thirst for revenge.As he turned in an arc to stop his car in front of the driveway, and he saw that his apprentice had also seen him, he could tell that the ape was making an appraisal of his escape options.Quickly the anthropologist stepped out of his car, grabbed the antenna, broke it off and threw it at the apprentice.He couldn't help but applaud his aim when it punctured the ape's appendix!Knowing that the usual antonym for revenge was forgiveness, the anthropologist still did not go to help the now injured apprentice.我的猿徒弟
猿居然偷了他的研究器械！现在这名人类学家可是要让他作出偿还！他以前总是认为，他的徒弟可能很容易犯点愚蠢的错误，让他损失惨重，可是当他在自己的老婆面前假装是一名无特色的考古学生时，徒弟的天资让他大失所望。她怎么竟会认不出他？整个大学里没有人比他更大更重----这便是他们开始叫他“猿”的原因。
得知他的老婆也在做戏，而且因为不想停止烘烤并脱掉围裙，便让他的徒弟从拱门进到了他的秘密办公室，人类学家并没有因此而大吃一惊。他偷器械就是在这个时候！他老婆很快意识到她犯了个错误。
现在由于他的敌对情绪又起而且几乎已经到家，人类学家肯定他能逮到猿以平息他对复仇的渴望。
当他呈弧形把车开过来停在车道前面时，他发现徒弟也看到了他，他明白猿在估量他的逃跑方案。人类学家很快下车，抓住天线，把它扯掉并向徒弟扔去。天线刺到了徒弟的阑尾，他不禁拍手叫好！尽管人类学家知道复仇的反义词一般是宽恕，但他还是没有走过去帮助现在已经受伤的徒弟。overpass n.天桥，立交桥 override
vt.1.不顾，不理睬，否决 2.压倒，优先于 overt
a.公开的，不隐蔽的 overthrow vt.1.推翻，打倒 2.使终止，摒弃 n.推翻，终止，结束 overturn
vt.1.使翻转，使颠覆，使倒下 2.颠覆，推翻
vi.颠覆，翻转，翻倒 overwhelm
vt.1,（感情上）使受不了，使不知所措 2.征服，制服
overwhelming
a.1.势不可挡的，压倒的 2.巨大的 owl
n.猫头鹰 oxide n.氧化物 oyster n.牡蛎 ozone n.臭氧 pact
n.契约，协定，条约 paddle
n.1.短桨，桨
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2.（用脚拍打）玩水，涉水 vi.1.划桨前进，荡桨
2.（用脚拍打）玩水，涉水 vt.1.用桨划（船）2.用木板打 pamphlet n.小册子 panda n.熊猫 pang
n.一阵（剧痛、悲痛等）panorama n.1.全景
2.概括，综述，概观 pant
vi.1.喘，气喘 2.（for）渴望 vt.气喘吁吁地说 n.气喘，喘息 paperback
n.平装本，简装本 parachute n.降落伞 vi.跳伞
vt.伞投，空投
No Hope?
Some people will do anything to overturn bad policy and save the planet.Environmentalists, in particular, are known for their overt attempts to overwhelm
businesses and governments to change.The issues they stand against are well known: the shrinking ozone layer, the protection of pandas, the destruction of spotted owl habitat, and even over fishing in areas where oysters beds are threatened.These people parachute into dangerous areas, paddle alongside massive fishing boats,or release pamphlets from airplanes because of their internal pact with each other to make a differnce.Against the panorama of these activities, it is sometimes difficult for normal people not to feel a pang of regret for how our own needs sometimes override those of nature.We cry when we see a baby seal killed, we pant when the air feels too full of carbon dioxide, and we weep that so many trees are being cut down to print the paperback books we love to read.But we don't know what to do.It all seems so overwhelming.Sometimes we even want to throw ourselves over the overpass into oncoming traffic because it is all so sad and we know that we can't overthrow our own governments.It is as if we really are like a virus on this planet, destroying all of nature to satisfy our own needs.While we may think of something to do that might make a small amount of change, we really don't know if we can make a big enough difference.And we fear that it will all be too late anyway!Have we really come this far to have it all end like this?
希望渺茫？
有些人会不惜一切推翻不好的政策、拯救这个地球。环境保护主义者在这方面尤为出名，因为他们公开想制服企业和政府，让它们做出改变。他们关心的问题是众所周知的：不断缩小的臭氧层、熊猫的保护、已被发现的猫头鹰栖息地的破坏、甚至还有在牡蛎繁殖地受到威胁的区域过度捕鱼的问题。这些人跳伞到危险地区和巨大的渔船一起划桨前进、或者从飞机上散发小册子，因为他们相互之间有个内部协定要与众不同。
综述所有这些活动，正常人有时会发现很难不感到一阵后悔，因为我们自己的需求不知为何会那样压倒自然的需求。看到一只小海豹被杀死我们会哭起来，感觉空气中有太多的二氧化碳我们会气喘，那么多树被砍倒印制我们喜欢看的平装书会使我们流泪，但我们不知道该做些什么，一切都似乎那么势不可挡。有时候我们甚至想把自己从天桥上扔到滚滚车流中去，因为一切都那么令人伤心，而我们又知道我们不能推翻我们自己的政府。
我们真像是这个星球上的病毒，我们破坏整个自然以满足自己的需求。虽然我们可能会想起来做点什么、--------------------
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带来一些小小的变化，我们实在不知道我们是否能够扭转乾坤，并且我们还担心无论如何已经为时已晚！我们真的到了一切只能这样结束的地步吗？ WORDS ardent
a.热心的，热情的，热烈的 arena
n.1.表演场地，竞技场
2.活动场所 aristocrat n.贵族 armor
n.盔甲，装甲，保护物 armour 见armor array
n.1.展示，陈列，一系列
2.排列，队形
3.衣服，盛装
4.数组，阵列
vt.1.排列，配置(兵力)2.打扮，装饰 arrogant
a.傲慢的，自大的 arson n.纵火(罪)artery n.1.动脉
2.干线，要道 articulate
a.1.善于表达的，发音清晰的2.表达得清楚有力的vt.1.明确有力地表达
2.清晰地吐(字)，清晰地发(音)artillery
n.1.火炮，大炮
2.炮兵(部队)ascend
vi.渐渐上升，升高
vt.攀登，登上 ascertain
vt.查明，弄清，确定 ascribe
vt.1.(to)把...归因于 2.把...归属于 ashore
ad.在岸上，上岸 aspiration
n.强烈的愿望，志向，抱负 aspire
vi.渴望，追求，有志于 ass
n.1.笨蛋，傻瓜 2.驴
[b][color=#ff0000]assassination n.刺杀，暗杀 assault
vt.(武力或口头上的)攻击，袭击
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assert
vt.1.肯定地说，断言 2.维护，坚持 assert oneself
坚持自己的权利，显示自己的权威
The Advent of a New Day
As he drove the armored car around the arena in preparation for the assault on the President, Buck McCoy was having second thoughts.He had never aspired to this level of crime.And it was still quite difficult to ascertain how he had ascended to be given this task by his boss.He had always been good at simple arson and as well as an array of other tasks, but an assassination of the President of Botswana? He wasn't ready for this and he was ready to get his ass out of there.As Buck thought about it some more, he could only ascribe his involvement to his articulate brother.Always wanting to be among the aristocrats of crime, his brother asserted himself whenever he could into deeper levels of daring.This time,however, his arrogant behavior was going to cause Buck the loss of his life.And Buck didn't like that.Now it was time for him to assert his own thoughts, and he would stay ardent with his decision not to take part in this foolishness.So he left the arena and drove down to the boat that would take him ashore off the island where he had been testing his artillery.Yes, this was a risk to leave a job like this, but now it was Buck's aspiration to give up crime all together and find a career that was less stressful and damaging to his arteries.Maybe now his health would improve and he could live a less stressful life.新的一天的来临
当他驾着装甲车在活动场所周围准备对总统发起攻击时，巴克.麦科伊正想他的心事。他从来没有追求过这种水平的犯罪，他仍然很难弄清他是如何升到这种高位让老板委以如此重任的。对于一般的纵火和一系列其他的活动来说，这些一直不在话下，但暗杀博茨瓦纳总统他行吗？他没有准备好干这个，他准备彻底摆脱这种愚蠢的行为。
经过再三考虑，巴克只能把这一次的卷入归因他那能言善辩的哥哥。由于一贯想成为罪犯中的贵族，他哥哥只要有可能就会显示自己更加高超的冒险水平。然而这一次他的自大行为将导致巴克丢掉性命，而巴克并不喜欢这样。现在应该是坚持自己的想法的时候了，他有热情坚持自己的决定，不参预这种愚蠢的事情。
因此他离开活动场所，开车来到一条船边，这条船将带他离岛上岸，他一直在这座岛上测试他的大炮。是的，离开这样的工作是一种冒险，但是现在巴克有一种强烈的愿望，那就是彻底即出江湖，寻找一份压力更小、不那么损伤脑筋的工作。也许现在他的健康状态会有所好转，生活压力也会有所减少。paradise n.天堂，乐园 paradox
n.1.似乎矛盾而（可能）正确的说法 2.自相矛盾的人（或事物）paralyse 见paralyze paralyze
vt.1.使瘫痪，使麻痹 2.使丧失作用
3.使惊愕，使呆若木鸡 parameter
n.1.[常pl.]界限，范围 2.参数 parasite n.1.寄生生物 2.寄生虫 parlor
n.1.（出售某些商品或提供某种服务的）店，馆，院 2.客厅，会客室 parlour 见parlor--------------------
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parrot n.鹦鹉
participant n.参加者，参与者 partisan
a.党派的，派性的，偏袒的 n.1.党徒，忠实的追随者 2.（敌后）游击队员 partiton
n.1.分隔物，隔墙 2.分割，划分
vt.隔开，分割，划分 partnership n.合伙（关系），合伙经营（的企业），合伙人身份 passionate a.1.多情的
2.充满激情的，激昂的 3.热切的，强烈的 pastime n.消遣，娱乐 pastry
n.油酥面团，酥皮糕点 pasture
n.牧草地，牧场 vt.放牧 patent
n.专利，专利权
a.（有关）专利（权）的，受专利保护的 vt.得到„„的专利权 pathetic
a.1.差劲的，令人生厌的
2.引起怜悯的，可怜的，可悲的 patriot
n.爱国者，爱国主义者 patriotic
a.爱国的，有爱国心的，显示爱国精神的
The Last Patriot of the Island Miki!
“I am the last patriot of the Island of Miki left in the world!” Said the parrot from behind the partition that blocked people seeing that he was not a person.“My island was once a paradise.But as is often the case you find great paradoxes in paradise.The paradox on my island was that our pastime was not eating pastries or singing patriotic songs, but destroying each other with our passionately partisan attitudes for how our island should develop.Some participants thought we could profit from tourism and patent the name of our island.Others wanted to set up patrols to keep outsiders away.These two sides could not form partnerships.They could not agree on any parameters.And this disagreement became a parasite that ate at the hearts of our people until we destroyed each other.I myself an paralyzed fromthe battle that followed on the beautiful pastures that were once filled with flowers!On that day they ran with blood.”
“This may sound pathetic.But I am now just a parlor joke.And no one believes my story.They cannot see that, just as happened on my island, countries are now heading towards destruction because people cannot agree with each other.If only they would listen to my story and learn from our mistakes.”
The crowd gasped as the partiton was taken away and they realized that the voice was that of a parrot.As for the parrot, he just looked down, even sadder that his story would not be heard because no one would believe a talking parrot, the last patriot of the Island of Miki.--------------------
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米基岛上最后一个爱国者
“我是世界上剩下的米基岛上最后一个爱国者！”鹦鹉从分隔物后面说，由于有分隔物挡着，人们看不出说话者不是一个人。
“我这座岛曾经是个天堂。但是正如经常发生的那样，你会发现天堂里有很多自相矛盾的事情。我的岛上自相矛盾的事情是，我们的消遣不是吃酥皮糕点或者唱爱国歌曲，而是相互残杀，因为对于如何发展我们这个小岛，我们都充满激情但属于不同党派。有些参与者认为我们可以通过旅游业赚钱并获得我们这个岛名的专利，其他人则想成立巡逻队以防止外来者的入侵。双方就是不能结成伙伴关系，在任何范围内他们都不能达到一直意见，而这种分歧最后成了一种寄生虫，它吞噬着我们的心，直到我们相互毁灭。我自己则在随后的一场战斗中瘫痪了，战场是一个美丽曾经长满鲜花的牧场，那天他们浑身是血地跑着。”
这听起来可能有些可悲，但我现在只是一个酒馆的笑柄，谁也不相信我说的故事。他们看不见许多国家就像我的岛上发生的那样正因为大家观点不一致而走向毁灭。他们要是听我的故事，从我们的错误中吸取教训就好了。“
分隔物被拿掉的时候人们倒抽了一口冷气，他们发现声音是一只鹦鹉发出来的。至于那只鹦鹉，他只是低着头，他的故事没有人听，因为谁也不愿意相信一只会说话的鹦鹉——米基岛上最后一个爱国者，为此他更感伤心。
patron
n.1.资助人，赞助人 2.老主顾，顾客 patronise 见patronize patronize
vt.1.以高人一等的态度对待 2.经常光顾，惠顾 3.赞助 pave
vt.铺（路），铺筑
pave the way(for)（为„„）铺平道路，（为„„）作准备 payroll
n.1.工资表，在职人员名单 2.工资总额 peanut n.1.花生
2.[pl.]很少的钱 pearl n.1.珍珠 2.珠状物 3.珍品 pebble
n.卵石，小圆石 peck vt.1.啄 2.匆匆轻吻 vi.1.啄食
2.(at)小口地吃 n.1.啄
2.匆匆地一吻
3.（谷物等的干量单位）配克 pedal
n.踏板，脚踏 vi.脚踏板，骑车
vt.脚蹬，踩动„„的踏板 peddle
vt.1.（沿街）叫卖，兜售 2.宣传，散播
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pedestrian n.步行者，行人 peel
vt.削„„的皮，剥„„的壳 vi.剥落，脱皮
n.（水果等的）皮，外皮 peel off 剥掉，脱去 peep
vi.1.窥视，偷看 2.隐现，慢慢露出 n.1.窥视
2.（汽车喇叭的）嘟嘟声 3.（鼠、小鸟等的）吱吱声 peg
n.1.小钉，栓，挂物钉 2.桩
vt.1.用钉子钉，用钉（或桩等）固定 2.限定（价格、工资等）3.将„„看成，将„„归入 4.投（球）等 peg away at 坚持不懈地做 penalise 见penalize penalize
vt.1.使处于不利地位，不公平地对待 2.判罚 pending
prep.直到，在等待„„期间 a.1.未决的，未定的，待定的 2.即将发生的，迫近的 pendulum n.1.摆，钟摆
2.摇摆不定的事态（或局面）penguin n.企鹅
peninsula n.半岛 perch
n.1.（鸟类的）栖息处，栖枝，栖木 2.高处，较高的位置 3.鲈鱼
v.1.（鸟）飞落，暂栖，停留 2.（在较高处或物体边缘）坐着 vt.把„„置于较高或危险处
Penguin=Trouble
So I was pedaling down the street the other day when this funny looking pedestrian crossed the street in front of me.I thought this kid was going to get penalized by the cops for sure since he was swinging back and forth like a pendulum.Well, I couldn't peel my eyes off this kid when I crashed into one of our patrons.Her pearls went flying everywhere like pebbles over the road that had recently been paved.As I got up off the road I paved the way through the crowd to retrieve her pearls.When I heard a funny peep I looked up to see that the kid was a penguin！How I missed that, I'll neverknow, but I'm sure the other messenger boy will peg away at me untill they take me off the payroll or something.Anyhow, the penguin pecked me on the cheek like a--------------------
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kiss and then sat down on my bag like he was patronizing me from the top of some perch.I'm not one to hold grudges so I reached into my bag and pulled out some peanuts.As I peeled open the bag someone threw a couple coins down into my hat, which I had dropped.They must have thought I was peddling the penguin for money!
Well, right then and there I reached down, picked up that money and pegged the person in the back of his head.He turned around and started chasing me.Naturally I ran and now my case in court is still pending.But I never found out what happened to that penguin.I hope he made it back to his home on some ocean peninsula.I wouldn't want him hanging around the city much longer.He sure got me into trouble!企鹅＝麻烦
那天我正在街上骑车，突然有个样子古怪的行人从我面前穿过马路。我心想这个小家伙肯定要遭警察罚了，因为他像个钟摆一样晃来晃去。我无法把视线从这个小家伙身上移开，就在这时我撞到了我们一个老主顾身上。她的珍珠像小圆石一样撒满了最近才铺好的路面。我加快速度在人群中为她铺开了一条路让她捡回珍珠。
听到一声奇怪的吱吱声，我抬头发现小家伙原来是只企鹅！我永远也无法知道我怎么就没有注意到他只不过是只企鹅，但是我确信其他送信男孩会一直抓着我不放，直到他们把我从在职人员名单上拿下来或是怎么的。不管怎样，企鹅像亲吻一样在我的脸上轻轻啄了一下，然后就坐在了我的包上，就像从某个高处以高人一等的态度对待我一样。我不是个怀恨的人，所以我把手伸进包里掏出一些花生来。在我打开包的时候，有人往我的帽子里扔了几枚硬币，因为我把帽子掉在了地上。他们一定以为我在拿企鹅叫卖！
就在此时此地我弯腰把钱捡了起来朝那个人的后脑勺扔去，他转过身来开始追我。我自然是跑掉了，现在我在法院的案子还悬而未决。
但我一直没弄清楚企鹅的下落，我希望他成功地回到了某个大洋半岛他自己的家，我不希望他在城里做更多的逗留。他肯定是给我带来了麻烦！perfection n.完美，完善 to perfection
完美地，尽善尽美地，完全地 perfume
n.香水，香料，香气 vt.1.使充满芳香 2.洒香水于 peril
n.1.极大危险
2.[常pl.]危险的事（或环境）at one's peril
（尤用于告诫某人勿做某事）自担风险 periodic
a.周期的，定期的，时而发生的 periodical n.期刊
a.周期的，定期的，时而发生的 perish
vi.1.丧生，毁灭，消亡
2.（橡胶、皮革等）失去弹性，老化 permeate
v.1.弥漫，遍布，散布 2.渗入，渗透 permissible
a.可允许的，许可的 perpetual
a.1.永久的，永恒的，长期的 2.无休止的，没完没了的 perplex
vt.使困惑，使费解，使复杂化 persecute
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vt.1.迫害，虐待 2.纠缠，骚扰 persevere
vi.坚持不懈，锲而不舍 persistent
a.1.坚持不懈的，执意的 2.持续的
persuasion n.1.说服（力），劝说 2.信念，信仰 pertain
vi.(to)从属，有关 pertinent
a.有关系的，相关的 pest
n.1.有害生物，害虫 2.讨厌的人 pester
vt.不断打扰，纠缠 pesticide n.杀虫剂，农药 petal n.花瓣 petition
n.请愿书，申请书，诉状
v.（向„„）请愿，正式请求
A Persistent Female Lawyer
The female lawyer I knew was perpetually pestering judges to have periodic lunches with her.I am sure she thought this was permissible, but everyone else was sure she was going heavy on the perfume and female persuation tactics to gain some extra favor at all of their peril.So my friends and I decided to gain some pertinent information about her case history to see if it might reveal if her persistent behavior had had any actual effect.We were surprised to learn that it had.In periodical reports we found out that she was always winning cases with the judges she took to lunch.We knew our future as lawyers would blossom like the petals on a rose if we could prove this, but we also realized that our future could perish if we went after the judges and failed.So I decided to drop my case dealing with pesticide control and focus on a petition that would show all proof pertaining to what we had found.My work would have to near perfection if I wanted to succeed.The case permeated my life for weeks.Whenever I was perplexed by what I had found I persevered to the perfection that I had sought.I did not want to persecute this female lawyer——I wanted to send her and the judges to jail.Then they would not call me a pest and know that it was their own actions that brought about their peril.I won the case.The female was barred from practicing law and the four judges she had influenced all went to prison!I am, by the way, also a woman!坚持不懈的女律师
我知道的这名女律师没完没了地缠着几位法官定期与她一起吃午饭。我确信她认为这样做是允许的，但其他人都觉得她是在用大量的香水和女性的劝说手段获取更多的优势而让他们所有的人自担风险。于是我和我的朋友决定就她的案例记录取得一些相关的信息，看能否弄清楚她那坚持不懈的做法是否真的产生过影响。
我们吃惊地发现还真的有影响。在定期报告中，我们发现她请法官吃饭果然能常常打赢官司。我们知道如果能证明此事，我们未来的律师生涯将像盛开的玫瑰花瓣一样；但我们同时意识到如果我们调查法官却一无所获，我们的未来就玩完了。所以我决定放弃手中有关农药控制的案子而集中写好一份关于我们的发现的诉状。如果想成功，我的工作要做得近乎完美。
几个星期以来这个案子一直渗透到了我的生活。只要我对我的发现感到困惑我就会坚持不懈，追求完美。我并不想迫害这名女律师——我只想把她和那些法官送进监狱。这样他们就不会认为我是个讨厌的人，并且知道给他们带来危险的是他们自己的行为。
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我打赢了这场官司。女律师被取消了律师资格，受她影响的四位法官也被送进了监狱！顺便说一下，我也是名女性！
petty
a.1.小的，琐碎的，不重要的 2.气量小的，心胸狭窄的 pharmacy n.1.药房，药店 2.药剂学，配药 physiological a.生理的，生理学的 picket
n.1.（罢工时的）纠察队，纠察队员 2.警戒队，警戒哨
vt.1.在„„设置纠察线
2.派„„担任纠察，布置（警卫）警戒 vi.担任纠察（或警戒哨）picturesque a.1.美丽如画的
2.（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 pier
n.（伸入水域的）码头，突堤 piety
n.虔诚，虔敬 pilgrim n.1.朝圣者
2.（在国外的）旅行者，漫游者 pineapple n.凤梨，菠萝 pinpoint
vt.1.准确描述，确定，确认 2.精确地确定„„的位置 n.针尖，尖端 a.十分精确的 pirate
n.1.非法盗印（或复制）者，侵犯版权者 2.海盗
vt.1.以海盗的方式抢劫，抢掠 2.盗用，非法盗印（或复制）pistol n.手枪 piston n.活塞 pitfall
n.1.隐患，易犯的错误 2.陷阱，圈套 pizza
n.意大利馅饼，比萨饼 plague
n.1.瘟疫，鼠疫 2.灾难，祸患
vt.使痛苦（或难受），给„„造成困难（或麻烦）plank
n.1.厚木板（条）
2.政纲条目，政策要点 plaster
n.1.灰浆，灰泥
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2.石膏
3.橡皮膏，膏药
vt.1.在„„上抹灰泥，厚厚地涂抹 2.粘贴于，张贴于，贴满 plateau n.1.高原
2.（上升后的）稳定时期（或状态）plausible
a.似有道理的，似乎正确的，貌似可信的 plea
n.1.恳求，请求 2.抗辩，答辩，辩护 3.借口，托辞
False Piety
It was another day on the picket line.Today we were in front of a pharmacy that supposedly sold drugs tested on animals to increase people's physiological tolerance for pain.Well that was plausible, but no one ever heard our pleas, they just went from one petty picket line to another unable to pinpoint an overall theme to our actions.I was at a plateau on the whole picket line thing when we met a man who said that we could have a greater impact by pirating ships, using pistols, and doing something more drastic.This would get more attention as well as our faces plastered all over the TV screen and newspapers.We decided to give it a try.He never mentioned any pitfalls.Our first and only action was on a picturesque pier in Southern California.After eating our fill of pizza and pineapples we headed to the fishing boat that we were sure caught fish and also killed dolphins in the process.Our plan was to wreck the pistons of the boat engine and then make the captain symbolically walk the plank.But we were pilgrims in this new country of activism and the police fell upon us like the plague before we had done any damage at all.It also turned out that the man who told us to do this was an undercover policeman.All of his false piety was simply a trap to get us to do something crazy so that he could arrest us.And we had fallen for it all.假装虔诚
纠察线进入了新的一天。今天我们是在一家药店前面，据说这家药店买的药在动物身上做过实验，是用来增强人们忍受疼痛的生理能力的。这听起来似乎有些道理，但没有人听我们请求，他们只是从一条小的纠察线走到另外一条小的纠察线，不能对我们行动的主题作出准确判断。在整个纠察线里面，我处于一种稳定状态，这时我们碰到了一个人，他说通过以海盗方式抢劫船只、使用手枪、做一些更加极端的事情我们就可以有更大的影响，这样会吸引更多的人注意，还会使我们的面部出现在电视屏幕上和报纸上。我们决定尝试一下。他只字未提容易犯的错误。
我们的首次同时也是唯一的一次行动是在南加利弗尼亚一个风景如画的码头。吃饱比萨饼和菠萝之后，我们向一条渔船走去，我们相信它能抓到鱼并且还能在捕鱼的过程中杀死海豚。我们的计划是破坏船上发动机的活塞，然后让船长象征性地在原木板上行走。但是在这个新的激进主义国家我们是朝圣者，我们还没来得及搞任何破坏活动，警察就像瘟疫一样对我们进行了袭击。
原来那个要我们做这种事的人是个警察密探。他装得那么虔诚完全是个圈套，他让我们做一些疯狂的事，这样就可以把我们抓起来。我们还真上了他的当。plead
vi.1.恳求，请求 2.申诉，答辩，辩护 vt.1.为„„辩护
2.提出„„为理由（或借口）plight
n.困境，苦境 pluck
vt.1.拔，摘，采 2.拔除„„的毛 3.弹，拨，弹奏
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vi.(at)拉，拽，拉扯 n.勇气，胆量，决心 plum
n.李子，梅子 a.待遇好的 plumber
n.管子工，水暖工 plume
n.1.（升上空中的）一缕（烟、尘土等）2.羽毛，羽饰 plump
a.丰满的，胖乎乎的
vi.1.(down)扑通倒（或坐）下，蓦地摔下 2.(for)选定
vt.1.使扑通倒（或坐）下，蓦地摔下 2.(up)轻轻拍打使（枕头等）变得鼓起来 plunder
vt.劫掠„„的财物，掠夺 n.1.劫掠物，赃物 2.劫掠，抢夺 pneumonia n.肺炎
poignant
a.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 poise
n.1.稳重，镇定
2.（优美）姿势，姿态 3.平衡，平稳
vt.使平衡，使平稳，平稳地拿 poke
vt.1.戳，捅
2.用„„戳（或捅），把„„戳向 3.伸出，突出 vi.伸出，突出 n.戳，捅
poke about/around 搜索，探问 poke fun at
拿„„开玩笑，取笑
poke one's nose into 探问，干预 polar
a.1.地极的，近地极的 2.磁极的
3.正好相反的，截然对立的 polyester n.聚脂（纤维），涤纶 ponder
v.思索，考虑，沉思 pony
n.矮种马，小马 popcorn
n.爆玉米花，炒苞米 pope
n.[常the P_]（天主教）教皇，罗马主教 porcelain
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n.瓷，瓷器 porch n.门廊 pore
n.毛孔，细孔
vi.(over)仔细阅读，审视
The Lucky Plumber
The plumber had always been lucky at games.But the day he went to the carnival with the polar bear it all came to a poignant end.It started when he was poking about looking for a game to play.He had already done the pony ride, eaten popcorn, and plucked a plum from a tall tree using a feather to won a porcelain doll of the Pope.But now he was pondering if he could win a guessing game to win the polyester jacket that the game host was wearing as he sat on his porch.When he decided to try the host began to poke fun at him that he would lose his poise and not be able to guess his weight.And he was right.The plumber was wrong with his guess.He pleaded for a second chance and even paid to guess again.When he guessed wrong again a plump woman with a bright orange plume on her hat stepped in to try as well.The plumber poked her in the side and told her not to poke her nose into other peoples business.He was still playing and she wasn't going to plunder the prize that he thought was his!
But the plumber just could not win the guessing game.When he finally acknowledged his plight, the pores on his skin were all worn out from sweating so much!I hear he was never the same again and that he died of the pneumonia he caught that night a few weeks later.Some people just can't stand being down on their luck.幸运的水暖工
这个水暖工玩游戏时一贯幸运，但是那天他和北极熊一起去参加欢庆会时，他的运气令人痛苦地结束了。他到处探问有什么游戏可玩的时候坏运气就开始了。他已经玩过骑矮种马、吃爆玉米花、用一跟羽毛从一棵大树上摘李子以赢取教皇的瓷娃娃，但是现在他正在思考他是否能够在这次猜谜游戏中获胜以赢得坐在门廊里的游戏主持人穿的那种涤纶夹克。
当他决定试一下的时候，主持人跟他开了个玩笑，说他会失去平衡并猜不出他的体重。他还真说对了，水暖工猜错了。他请求再给他一次机会，他甚至愿意掏钱只要让他再试。在他再次猜错的时候，一位丰满的、帽子上插着一根鲜艳的橙黄色羽毛的妇女走近来也要试一下。水暖工在她侧面捅了一下并告诉她不要干预别人的事，他说他还在玩，她不要抢走他认为属于他的奖品！
但是水暖工就是赢不了这次猜谜游戏。等他终于承认自己的困境时，他皮肤上的毛孔因为出汗太多都坏掉了！我听水他再也没能重振雄风，几个星期之后他死于那天晚上得的肺炎。有些人就是不能忍受不走运。portray
vt.1.描写，描绘 2.扮演，饰演 postscript
n.1.（信末签名后的）附言，又及 2.（正文后的）补充说明 posture
n.1.姿势，姿态 2.看法，态度
vi.摆出（不自然的）姿势，装模作样 potent
a.1.（药等）效力大的，威力大的 2.强有力的，有说服力的 pottery
n.1.陶器，陶瓷器皿 2.陶器制造（术）3.陶器厂 poultry n.家禽，禽肉 practicable
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a.可行的，适用的 practitioner
n.开业者（尤指医师、律师等）prairie
n.（尤指北美的）大草原 prawn
n.对虾，明虾 preach
vt.1.宣讲（教义），布（道）2.竭力鼓吹，宣传 vi.布道，说教 precarious
a.1.不安全的，充满危险的 2.不牢靠的，不稳固的 precede
vt.在„„之前，先于 precedent
n.1.先例，范例，判例 2.惯例
precipitate
vt.1.（突如其来地）使发生，促成 2.使沉淀，使沉析 n.沉淀物
a.突如其来的 preclude
vt.阻止，排除，妨碍 predecessor n.1.前任，前辈
2.（被取代的）原有事物，前身 predominant
a.1.占主导地位的，显著的
2.（在数量等方面）占优势的，占绝大多数的 prefix n.1.前缀
2.（人名前的）称谓 vi.1.加„„作为前缀 2.把„„置于前面 pregnancy n.怀孕，怀孕期
No More Prawn
The postscript to my wife's pregnancy complications were that she had been precariously close to death because she had eaten too much prawn.Certain potent chemicals in prawn precipitate difficulties during delivery.We had not heard this because medical reports were following precedent by not preaching diet changes before research was finished.Prawn was also supposed to affect a person's posture, but predominant data did not confirm this so it would be precluded from the report.The medical practitioners said that she should have eaten more poultry.This is what I told my wife as we drove home across the prairie.We lived a long distance away from the hospital in an area with a different prefix because we needed to be close to a special pottery school where I was studying.My predecessors had told me it would be risky to live so far from the hospital with my wife being pregnant.But I didn't think we had a choice.They portrayed several scenarios to prove to us that it would not be practicable for us to live so far away and taht there might be too many risks in getting my wife to the hospital.One was that her delivery would precede our arrival at the hospital.But this had not happened.There had been other complications.But now she was okay and we knew that she shouldn't eat prawn if she was ever--------------------
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pregnant again.This was going to be hard, however, because prawn was my wife's favorite food.别再吃虾了
我妻子的怀孕并发症的补充说明上写着她的生命充满危险，离死亡已经不远了，因为她吃了太多的对虾。对虾中某种效力大的化学成分会导致难产。我们没有听说过这样的事，因为医学报告是根据先例写的，在研究完成之前他们是不会宣传改变饮食的。对虾据说还会影响一个人的姿势，但是绝大多数数据没有证实这一点，所以报告中可能会排除这种情况，医生说她应该多吃禽肉。
驱车过草原回家的时候我就是这么对我妻子说的。我们家离医院很远，我们住的地方地名叫法不一样，因为我们需要离我正在学习的那所特殊的陶器学校近一点，我的前辈告诉过我，说我妻子怀孕时住得离医院这么远是很危险的，但我认为我们没有选择。他们描述了好几种可能发生的情况，向我们证明我们住这么远是不合适的，送我妻子去医院可能会有太多的危险，其中包括她可能会在我们赶到医院之前生产。但这样的事情没发生，却出现了其他的并发症。
不过现在她已经没事了，我们知道如果她再怀孕她不能再吃虾了。但是这将是件难办的事情，因为我妻子最爱吃虾。
premature
a.1.比预期（或正常）时间早的 2.（做法等）不成熟的，仓促的 premier n.总理，首相
a.首要的，首位的，首次的 premise
n.1.[pl.]（企业、机构等使用的）房屋和地基，经营场址 2.前提，假设 premium
n.1.（投保人向保险公司支付的）保险金 2.额外费用，加付款
3.奖品，赠品，额外津贴 a.1.高级的，优质的 2.售价高的
at a premium 1.奇缺的，难得的
2.以超过一般的价格，以高价 put/place a premium on 高度评价，重视 preoccupy
vt.使全神贯注，使入神 prescription
n.1.规定，规定性的东西（如条例、指示、命令等）2.处方，药方，（医生开的）药 3.解救方法，诀窍 preside
vi.(at,over)主持，主管 prestige n.威信，威望 presume
vt.1.推测，假定，（没有证据地）相信 2.冒昧（做），擅（做）3.认定，推定 vi.擅自行事 presume on（不正当地）利用 pretentious
a.自命不凡的，自负的，炫耀的 pretext n.借口，托词
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prevalent
a.流行的，普遍的 preview
n.1.（电影、戏剧等的）预映，预演，预先审查（或检查）2.（电影等的）预告（片）prey
n.1.被捕食的动物，捕获物 2.受害者
v.1.(on)捕食 2.折磨，使烦恼 fall prey to
成为„„的牺牲品，深受„„之害 prick
vt.1.刺，扎，戳 2.刺痕，刺痛
3.使内心极度痛苦
vi.引起（或感到）刺痛 n.1.刺，扎，戳 2.刺痛
3.刺痕，刺孔
prick up one's ears（使）竖起耳朵注意听，（使）立刻注意起来 privacy
n.1.（不受干扰的）个人自由 2.隐私，私生活，私事 probability
n.1.可能性，可能发生的事 2.概率
in all probability 十有八九，很可能 probation n.1.缓刑（期），（以观后效的）察看 2.试用（期），试读（期）probe
v.1.探索，查究，调查
2.用探针（或探测器等）探查，探测 n.1.探针，探测器 2.探索，调查 proceedings
n.1.进程，过程，议程 2.诉讼，诉讼程序 3.会议录，公报
Burglary in a Premium Apartment
As the proceedings began we decided to first probe for the prevalent possible reasons that Nicky has fallen prey to a burglar in her premium apartment in the premier downtown district in New York.If she had lived in a more dangerous neighborhood this would have been a prescription for burglary.But Nicky had been living in an apartment building with high prestige where a premium was placed on security, multiple guards hired at a premium rate patrolled the premise, and privacy was presumed.You couldn't prick your finger in the hallways without being observed.A number of possibilities had already been discussed for how the crime happened.No one in the area was on probation.No pretext had be found so far that would give anyone reason to steal from Nicky.And none of the guards were preoccupied by any distraction at the time of the crime.Any of our finding would be premature, however, until we considered the probability that it was an inside job.We would have to presume on the apartment staff for interviews.And I would personally preside over all of these interviews.In all probability we--------------------
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would find nothing, but we would be called pretentious if we did not follow proper procedure.As we began the interview I took a quick preview of the people we would meet.All looked like they were prey caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.But the words of one woman pricked up my ear as I heard her say that Nicky was always trying to make trouble in their building.I listened closely as I knew that this might be our best suspect.But we still had a lot of work to do to find out for sure.高级公寓内的盗窃案
诉讼程序开始的时候我们决定首先调查尼基成为劫贼手下牺牲品的普遍并且可能的原因。她是在纽约主要中心地区她的高级公寓内遇害的。如果她住在一个更加危险的地区那么抢劫的事情还有较高的可能性，但是尼基住在一幢很有名气的公寓里面，那里交过安全保险金，还高价聘请了许多保安在房屋和地面巡逻，人们认定那里的私生活不会受到干扰，即使你在过道里戳一下手指也一定会被发现。
对于案发过程已经讨论了好几种可能性。那个地方没有人在服缓刑，到目前为止还没发现任何人有想偷尼基东西的借口，案发的时候没有一个保安被别的事情完全吸引住。但是，我们的任何发现都是不成熟的，直到我们想到内部作案的可能性。我们要利用公寓内的工作人员，对他们进行面谈，而我将亲自主持所有这些面谈。很可能我们会一无所获，但如果不走合适的程序别人会说我们自命不凡。
随着面谈的开始我很快预先审查了一下我们要见的那些人。他们看上去都像是被迎面而来的汽车车前灯照射的受害者，但是有一名妇女的话立刻引起了我的注意，因为我听到她说尼基总是想在他们楼里制造麻烦。我听得很仔细，因为我知道这可能是我们最重要的嫌疑犯，但是要找到确凿的证据我们还有大量的工作要做。proclaim
vt.1.宣告，宣布，声明 2.显示 prodigy
n.奇才，天才（尤指神童）productive
a.1.多产的，富饶的 2.富有成效的 productivity n.生产力，生产率 profess
vt.1.表示，承认 2.宣称信仰 proficiency n.熟练，精通 profitable
a.有利可图的，有益的 profound
a.1.深度的，深切的，深远的 2.知识渊博的，见解深刻的 3.深奥的 proliferate vi.激增，扩散，（迅速）繁殖，增生 prolong
vt.延长，拉长，拖延 promising
a.有希望的，有前途的 prone
a.1.(to)易于„„的，很可能„„的 2.俯卧的 prop vt.支撑
n.1.支柱，支撑物
2.支持者，后盾，靠山 prop up 支持，资助 propaganda
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n.宣传
propagate vt.1.繁殖，增殖
2.传播，宣传，使普及 vi.繁殖，增殖 propel
vt.1.推进，推动 2.激励，驱使 prophecy
n.预言，预言能力 prophet n.1.先知 2.预言者
proposition n.1.论点，主张 2.建议，提案 3.命题 prose n.散文
prosecute
vt.1.对„„提起公诉，告发，检举 2.继续从事 vi.起诉，告发
A Proficiency Prophet
Our boss was a prophet for proficiency.When he proclaimed the merits of improving productivity and making the company more profitable he spoke in such prose that hecould have propagated anything and we would have followed.Whatever he professed was said in such a profound manner thatwe were all immediately propelled to be more productive.And his prophecies were all true.His propaganda helped prolong the sucess of our company before its promising future came to a sudden halt.Our boss was prosecuted with propping up our company as a cover for child smuggling.This only happened because police had caught our boss addcpting a proposition from an undercover policeman to kidnap the prodigy of the mayor of our city.The crime had never happened, but the damage had been done.We had lost our boss, the prophet, the hero and the company was devastated.All of us who had proliferated the proclamations of our boss could only shake our heads in disbelief.We could not believe that such a strong person would be involved with such an evil business at the same time as he was doing such a good job at building our company.Only a few of us connected the fact that our boss was prone to accept challenges.If he thought something couldn't be done, then he would try it.But our company had still been a prop for his illegal activities, and we had all been fooled!料事如神的预言者
我的老板是个料事如神的预言者。在他宣布提高生产力、使公司更加赚钱的好处时，他说的像写散文一样，好象他什么事情都会宣传，我们只好听他的。不管他想表示什么，他说的话总是很深刻，总是能激励我们马上提高生产力。而且他的预言总是对的，他的宣传使我们公司的成功能得以延续，后来公司的光明前途才突然停止了。我们的老板被起诉支持我们的公司掩护拐卖儿童。
这事被发觉是因为警察看到我们的老板从一个警察密探那里接受了绑架市长天才儿童的建议。绑架并没有发生，但是破坏已经造成，我们失去了我们的老板，那个预言者和英雄，公司也给弄垮了。我们所有扩散过老板的宣言的人只能不相信地摇摇头，我们不能相信这样一个强人会同时卷入这种邪恶的交易，因为发展我们的公司他是功不可没的。只有少数几个人想到了这么一个事实，那就是我们的老板倾向于接受挑战。如果是他认为不能做的事情，那么他就要试一试。但是我们公司毕竟支持过他的非法活动，我们都被愚弄了。prospective
a.预期的，未来的，可能的 prosper
vi.兴旺，繁荣，成功 Protestant
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n.新教徒 a.新教徒的 prototype n.原型 proverb
n.谚语，俗语，格言 provocative
a.1.挑衅的，煽动的，刺激的 2.挑逗的 proximity n.接近，邻近prudent
a.审慎的，小心谨慎的 prune
n.1.洋李，李子 2.修剪，修整 3.删除，削减 pry
vi.窥探，刺探，打听 vt.1.撬动，撬开，撬起 2.费力地得到，使劲分开 psychiatrist
n.精神科医生，精神病专家 pudding n.布丁 puddle
n.（雨）水坑，泥潭 puff
vi.1.喘气，喘息
2.一口一口地抽烟（或喷烟）3.喷着烟（或蒸汽）移动
vt.1.边喷边吸（烟），抽（烟）2.喷出，使一阵阵吹（或喷）
n.1.（抽）一口烟，（空气、烟雾等的）一股 2.喘气，喘息 puff out
使膨胀，使肿胀 puff up
肿起，肿胀，傲慢，自负，趾高气扬，盛气凌人 pulp
n.1.果泥，菜泥，酱
2.果肉，瓜瓤，植物的肉质部分 3.纸浆
4.低级书刊 a.低级的 vt.使成浆状 pumpkin n.南瓜 puppet n.1.木偶
2.傀儡，受人操纵的人（或集团）puppy
n.小狗，幼犬 purge
vt.清洗，清除，使净化 n.1.清洗，清除异己
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2.泻药 purify
vt.1.使纯净，提纯 2.使纯洁
To Be a Protestant
Dr.Hill was a psychiatrist who was puffed up with his own ideas.He was sure that there was something provocative about Protestants and their desire to purge themselves of their sin.What he would never know, however, was that they were as harmless as puppies and only interested in purifying their own hearts so that they could worship God.They believed that they would only prosper with a pure heart and that their prototype was Jesus Christ.Dr.Hill didn't believe any of that.He believed that the proverbs they all foolowed were pulp and that they were all the puppets of their leaders.And as Dr.Hill's proximity to these people increased, he was sure that his prying to expose the truth was the most prudent thing he had ever done in his life.Finally he decided that he would pretend he was a prospective believer and attend one of the Protestant's most frequent rituals: a potluck*.Dr.Hill puffed, however, when he saw all of the food present.There was turkey, hot dogs, spaghetti, vegetable dishes, prune and pumpkin pies, and cake and pudding.He would surely puff out if he ate everything he wanted.And, as he ate the food and was overcome with the friendliness of the Protestants a puddle of tears formed at his feet.He didn't care what or who they believed in, he was going to become a Protestant just because of their potlucks!*potluck 便饭，便餐，此处指参加聚餐的人每个人各带一味菜肴供共享的百乐餐。
当个新教徒
希尔博士是个精神病专家，他很为自己的观点感到得意。他认为新教徒以及他们净化灵魂、不做坏事的想法颇具煽动性。但是，他永远都不知道的是，他们像小狗一样不会伤害人，他们只对纯洁他们的心灵感兴趣以便他们能够崇拜上帝，他们相信只有心灵纯洁才能兴旺发达，他们的原型是耶稣基督。
希尔博士可不信这些东西。他认为他们都遵循的那些格言其实很低级，他们都是些领导者手下的木偶。随着希尔博士越来越接近这些人，他相信他费尽心思揭开真相是他一生当中做得最小心谨慎的一件事。
最后他决定化装成一个可能会信教的人参加一次新教徒最常举行的意识：百乐餐。但是当他看到所有食物时，希尔博士喘了一口气：有火鸡、热狗、意大利面条、蔬菜、李子南瓜饼、蛋糕和布丁。如果他想吃什么就吃什么，他肯定会膨胀起来。他吃着东西，感到自己被新教徒们的友情所包围，脚下的泪水形成了水坑。他才不在乎他们信仰什么或者信仰谁，他准备当个新教徒，就因为他们的百乐餐！purity
n.纯净，纯洁，纯正 pursuit
n.1.追求，寻求 2.追赶，追逐
3.[常pl.]（花时间和精力的）事，嗜好，消遣 in hot pursuit 穷追不舍 pyramid n.1.金字塔
2.金字塔形结构
3.锥状物，棱锥状的一堆东西 quaint
a.奇特而有趣的，古色古香的 qualitative
a.（性）质的，质量的，定性的 quantify
vt.确定„„的数量，量化 quantitative
a.（数）量的，定量的 quart
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n.夸脱
quarterly
a.季度的，每季一次的 ad.按季度，一季一次 n.季刊 quartz n.石英 quay n.码头 queer
a.1.奇怪的，异常的 2.不舒服的，眩晕的 quench
vt.止（渴），扑灭（火焰）query
n.问题，疑问，询问 v.1.对„„表示疑问 2.问，询问 quest
n.寻求，搜索，追求 questionnaire
n.（作统计或调查用的）问卷，征求意见表 quilt
n.被子，被单 quiver
vi.颤抖，发抖，抖动 n.颤抖，抖动，颤声 quota
n.定额，限额，配额 racism
n.1.种族歧视，种族偏见 2.种族主义 racket
n.1.喧嚷，吵闹 2.敲诈，勒索，诈骗 3.（网球等的）球拍
In Pursuit of Understanding Race
Joe had always been on a qualitative quest to understand his history and the racism that he had experienced.The quantitative data that said he was part Egyptian, part Nigerian, and part Irish did not matter to him even though he did not know which race to put on questionnaires.And he never took advantage of quotas, which would have allowed him to go to the best schools.He was in hot pursuit of his own answer and there were no quaint solutions.He felt most queer, however, when he visited the Pyramids.He could not identify with the Egyptians, their mummies, or their quays along the River Nile.And when he danced with an African quilt around his shoulders near a quartz mine in Nigeria he also did not feel that he had quenched his thirst for understanding himself.Knowing that the time for his query was running short he took another quarterly vacation from his job to visit Ireland.“So your pursuit of understanding has led you here at last, Lad?”Said the man sitting next to him in an Irish bar with tennis rackets on the wall while drinking a quart of beer.“You can't quantify where you come from.It's in your heart!And there should be a purity to it all that makes you quiver when you finally understand it!”
As Joe left Ireland he knew that the man at the Irish bar had spoken true words of wisdom.He had no home country.He was just himself and that should be enough.Finally at peace Joe headed home.His quest was over.--------------------
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弄清自己是谁
乔总是从质量上追求理解他的历史和他所经历的种族主义。从数据的数量上来看，他部分是埃及人、部分是尼日利亚人、部分是爱尔兰人，但这对他来说没有多大关系，尽管他不知道在问卷上该填哪个民族。他从来都不利用配额，尽管这样可以让他上最好的学校。他只是穷追不舍地寻找自己的答案，但是却没有奇特而有趣的解决办法。
但是，当他参观金字塔的时候，他感到很奇怪。他不能认同埃及人、他们的木乃伊或者他们在尼罗河沿岸的码头。当他肩上披着一块非洲被单在尼日利亚一个石英矿附近跳舞时，他同样感觉不到能扑灭他想了解自己的渴望。由于知道质疑的时间所剩不多了，他又放下工作请了一个季假访问了爱尔兰。
“这么说你对了解身世的追求终于使你来到这里，小伙子？”在一家爱尔兰酒吧坐在他身旁的一个人说，他喝着一夸脱啤酒，网球拍挂在墙上。“你无法确定你是哪里人，答案就在你心里！你身上应该有一种纯洁性，当你终于弄明白的时候，这种纯洁性会使你颤抖。”
离开爱尔兰的时候，乔知道酒吧里的人说的话真是充满智慧。他没有国家，他就是他，这就够了。他的心情终于平静下来，他踏上了回家的路。他的追求终于结束了。radiant
a.1.容光焕发的，喜形于色的 2.光芒四射的，光辉灿烂的 3.辐射的 radiate
v.1.发出（光或热），辐射 2.流露，显示 radioactive
a.放射性的，有辐射能的 radius
n.1.半径，半径范围 2.周围，范围 raffle
n.对奖售物，抽彩
vt.(off)用对奖办法出售 raft
n.1.木排，木筏
2.充气救生筏，救生圈 vt.用筏子运送 vi.乘筏子渡河 ragged
a.1.（衣服）破旧的，褴褛的 2.衣衫褴褛的
3.不规则的，参差不齐的，凸凹不平的 4.粗糙的，不完善的，差劲的 rake
n.1.耙，草耙，钉齿耙 2.斜度，倾角 vi.1.耙
2.搜索，核查
vt.1.耙集，耙平，耙松 2.扫射，扫过 rake in
大量敛集（钱财）rake up
1.耙集，集拢，耙开，扒开 2.翻出（旧事等）重提 ramp
n.1.斜面，坡道 2.活动舷梯，轻便梯 rampant
a.1.（犯罪、疾病等）猖獗的，肆虐的
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2.（植物）蔓生的，过于繁茂的 ranch n.1.大牧场 2.饲养场 random
a.任意的，随机的 at random 随便的，任意的 ranger
n.1.国家公园管理员，护林员 2.骑兵巡逻队员 ransom n.赎金
vt.赎出，赎回
hold sb to ransom 掳某人索赎，要挟某人 rap
vt.1.（轻而快地）敲击，急敲 2.(out)突然厉声说出 3.责备，训斥
n.（轻快的）敲击（声），急敲（声）rape
vt./n.强奸 rash
a.轻率的，鲁莽的 n.1.疹，皮疹
2.（短时期内）爆发的一连串 ratify
vt.正式批准，使正式生效，认可 rating
n.1.等级，品级，评定结果
2.[pl.]（电视节目的）收视率，（广播节目的）收听率 ration
n.1.配给量，定量 2.[常pl.]给养，口粮 vt.配给供应，定量供应 rattle
vi.1.发格格声，发连续短促的尖叫声 2.飞奔，咯嚓咯嚓地行进
vt.1.使碰撞作响，使发出连续短促的尖叫声 2.使窘迫不安，激怒，使恐惧惊慌 n.1.连续短促的尖叫声，碰撞声 2.连续发声的玩具，拨浪鼓 rattle off 飞快地说出 rattle on 1.飞奔
2.喋喋不休地讲话
Bang!
I was rattling off reasons not to rape the woman but hold her for ransom when the Ranger burst into the room.I rapped my partner on the back with the pointed rake I was holding and he lifted his ragged head to look at the Ranger.I hoped he wouldn't do anything rash.“Now boys, I know you hope to rake in a large ransom for this young radiant woman.But I think I may just need to stop your rampant behavior right now and get you to come back with me to the ranch!” Said the Ranger.--------------------
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“You can't rattle us, Ranger.We got rations for weeks and a raft out back down the ramp to get away down the river.Pretty soon you won't be able to draw a radius for the area that we might be hiding in.” My partner said.“Well then, I'll have to rake up the mess right here and now and shoot one of you boys at random.Unless you want to rattle on and try and find a solution we can all ratify!”
“Your random shot might hit that raffle box in back and ricochet back to hit you, Ranger!Or it could hit this box of radioactive material I am carrying and we'll all die radiating like the sun!” Said my partner as he smiled from the corner of his mouth.“Well son.My rating of your skills just climbed.But I still can't let you take the girl.I'll just shoot you first!”
Bang!砰！
我正在飞快地说着理由不要强奸那名妇女、只要要挟她就行了，就在这时护林员闯了进来。我用手里握着的尖草耙敲击我同伙的背，他抬起头发参差不齐的头看着护林员。我希望他不要做出任何鲁莽的事来。
“好啦，小伙子们，我知道你们想用这个光彩照人的年轻女人敛集大额赎金，但我想我现在就有必要停止你们猖獗的行为并让你们跟我一起回大牧场！”护林员说。
“你激怒不了我们，护林员。我们带了好几个星期的口粮，在外面的坡道下面准备了一个木排可以顺河离开，很快你就搞不清我们可能藏身的地方的半径了。”我的同伙说。
“那好，我就只能在此时此地收拾这个烂摊子了，我会随便开枪打死你们其中的一个，除非你们想连续不断地说话，想办法找到一个我们大家都能够认可的解决办法！”
“你随便开枪可能会打到后面的抽彩箱，然后子弹就会弹回来打着你，护林员！或者你可能会打到我手里拿着的这个装有放射性物质的盒子，那样的话我们都会像太阳发光一样死掉！”我的同伙说，他的嘴角挂着一丝微笑。
“好小子，我对你的水平等级还真是刮目相看，但我还是不能让你带走这位姑娘，我这就先开枪打死你！”
砰！
rave
vi.1.胡言乱语，说胡话 2.(about)极力赞美 a.赞扬（性）的 razor n.剃刀 reap
vt.1.收割，收获 2.获得，得到 reassure
vt.向„„再保证，使消除疑虑，使放心 rebellion n.反叛，反抗 rebuke
n.指责，训斥 recede
vi.1.退，退去，渐渐远去 2.向后倾斜，缩进 receptive
a.（对知识、思想等）接受能力强的，能迅速接受的 recess
n.1.（工作等）暂停，休息，休庭 2.课间休息
2.凹处，凹室，壁龛
2.[常pl.]深处，幽深处，隐秘处 vi.暂停，休会，休庭 recipe
n.1.烹饪法，食谱 2.方法，秘诀，诀窍 recipient
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n.接受者，接收者 reciprocal
a.相互的，互惠的 recite
vt.1.背诵，朗诵 2.列举，一一说出 vi.背诵，朗诵 reckless
a.鲁莽的，草率的，不考虑后果的 reclaim
vt.1.改正，改造 2.开垦（荒地），开拓 3.回收
4.要求（或主张）收回，要求（或主张）恢复 reconcile vt.1.使协调 2.使和解
3.(to)使顺从（于），使甘心（于）reconciliation n.和解，调和 rectangle n.长方形，矩形 rectangular
a.长方形的，矩形的 rectify
vt.纠正，修复 recur
vi.再发生，重现
Reconciliation
After his parents' last rebuke Jack's rebellion became worse.It seemed that there was nothing they could do to rectify the situation or reconcile with him.Fights kept recurring.They tried to be receptive to his needs, but when he recited a long list of changes he wanted at home they reassured him that they were not acceptable.Then he raved on that they never took him seriously about anything he wanted.That was when it became clear that their chances for reconciliation were receding.He had the reciprocal feeling and left to begin a reckless life trying to reap his own rewards out of life.It was a recipe for disaster that ended with Jack taking a razor to his own wrist.At the hospital his parents saw the rectangular pattern of needle scars on Jack's arm and wept that they had not been able to reclaim their relationship with him before he tried to kill himself.When he awoke it was as if they were on recess from fighting, none of them wanted that ever again.Standing together later with his sister also in the room, the rectangle that the four of them made when they hugged felt like it would never break.As the doctor came in they were even happier to hear that Jack was the recipient of a special scholarship to get care for his depression.Maybe they would finally be a family again.和解
在父母上次的训斥之后，杰克的反叛就更加厉害了。他们好象没有办法扭转这种局面或者是与他和解，争吵不断地发生。他们尝试着尽量接受他的要求，但是当他一一说出一长串他希望家里应该发生的变化时，他们再次向他保证，他们不能接受这些条件。然后他又胡说什么他们从来就没有认真对待过他的要求。这时已经很清楚他们和解的机会在渐渐消失。他与他们的感觉是相互的，所以他离开家去开始一种不考虑后果的生活，他要从生活中收获他自己的成果。
最后杰克用剃刀割破了自己的手腕，这件事倒成了解决问题的办法。在医院里，看到杰克手上缝合处结成的长方形针痂，父母哭着说他们没能在儿子试图自杀之前改善他们之间的关系。当他醒来的时候，他们好象已经休战了，谁也不想再吵吵闹闹了。
后来他们站到了一起，当时他妹妹也在房里，四个人拥抱成一个感觉好象永不分开的长方形。医生进来的--------------------
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时候，他们更加高兴了，因为医生告诉他们杰克是一笔特殊奖学金的接受者，专门供他治疗忧郁症。也许他们最终还是一家人。
recycle
vt.回收利用（废物等）redeem
vt.1.弥补，补偿，抵消 2.解救，救赎
3.(oneself)使免咎，挽回声誉 4.履行，遵守（诺言）
5.将（股票、债券等）兑取现金 6.赎回（抵押品）redundant
a.1.（因人员过剩而）被解雇的 2.多余的，过剩的 reed
n.1.芦苇，芦丛 2.簧舌，簧片 reef
n.礁，暗礁 reel
n.卷轴，卷筒，卷盘
vi.1.摇摇晃晃地移动，蹒跚 2.眩晕，发昏 vt.(in,up)卷，绕 reel off
一口气说，重复 referee n.1.裁判员
2.证明人，推荐人 3.仲裁者，调解者 v.当裁判 refrain
vt.(from)抑制，克制，戒除 n.（诗歌的）叠句，副歌 refreshment
n.1.[pl.]茶点，点心
2.（精力的）恢复，精神爽快 refuge
n.庇护所，避难处，庇护 refund n.退款
vt.退还（钱款）refute
vt.驳斥，驳倒 regime
n.政治制度，政权 regiment
n.1.（军队的）团 2.大量
vt.严格地管制，严密地编组 rehabilitate
vt.1.改造（罪犯等），使恢复正常生活 2.使恢复原状，修复 3.恢复„„的名誉 rehearsal
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n.排练，排演 reign
n.君主的统治，君主统治时期 vi.1.当政，统治 2.占主导地位 rein n.缰绳
vt.勒缰使（马）停步 rein in
严格控制，严加管束 give(free)rein to
对„„不加约束，放任，给„„充分自由 rejoice
vi.感到高兴，充满喜悦 relay
n.1.接力赛
2.中继转播（设备）vt.1.传送，传达，转述 2.中继转播 relegate
vt.使降级，使降职
A Marine Refuge
When the regime could no longer refute the evidence, they finally approved rehabilitating the coral reef and making it into a marine refuge.Money earned from recycling would be relegated to paying for the refuge and a portion of redundant
government refunds would pay for the rehabilitation.Everyone rejoiced and raised their refreshments into the air to toast that their hard work would be redeemed with nature being restored.And as the news was relayed throughout the country no one could rein in his or her excitement as they reeled from the joy of success.But some knew that this was just the rehearsal for a larger battle against companies that were given free reign to destroy marshes with rare reeds.The referees for this battle would not be so easy to influence.The companies that they would have to battle had already reeled off a refrain of praise for their own enviromental acts in other places.And their regiment of company paid news reporters who had already reined over the issue on TV and in the nespaper.They were determined not to let this reign end as well.But first they would enjoy this victory as much as they could.Victories were few and far between, why spoil the celebration with thoughts of the next battle.So they partied and praised the regime for its recognition that nature should be protected and sometimes restored.水下避难所
当政府再也无法驳倒证据时，他们终于同意修复这座珊瑚礁并把它建成一个水下避难所。通过回收利用废物赚来的钱将被降级使用用来支付避难所的开支，部分多余的政府退款将用于支付修复费。每个人都充满喜悦，他们把点心举到空中祝他们的勤奋工作会通过修复自然得到补偿。随着消息在全国各地转播，谁也不能控制住他或她的激动，因为他们都被胜利的喜悦冲昏了头脑。
但是有一些人知道，这不过是一次更大的战役的排练，他们要与一些公司做斗争，这些公司被给予充分自由可以破坏芦苇本已稀少的沼泽地。这场斗争的仲裁者将很难发挥影响力。他们将要与之斗争的那些公司已经一口气说出了经常重复的表扬，因为他们在其他地方也有保护环境的举动，而且他们的公司团体买通了那些对该问题拥有控制权的电视台和报社的新闻记者，他们决不会失掉这种已经取得的统治地位。
但是首先他们要尽可能地享受这次胜利。胜利不是常有而且来之不易，为什么要因为想着下一次战役而影响这一次的庆祝，所以他们举行聚会，表扬政府承认应当保护自然，并且有时候还要恢复自然。relentless
a.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的 reliance n.依靠，依赖 relics
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n.1.遗物，遗迹，遗产 2.遗体，尸骸 relish
vt.享受，从„„中获得乐趣
n.1.（美食等的）享受，滋味，乐趣 2.调味品 remainder
n.余下的部分，剩下的人数 reminiscent
a.1.(of)使人想起„„的 2.怀旧的，缅怀往事的 remnant n.残留部分 remorse
n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 renaissance
n.1.[the R_]（欧洲14至16世纪的）文学复兴，文艺复兴时期 2.（文学、艺术等的）复兴，再生 renounce
vt.1.声明放弃，抛弃 2.宣布中止 renovate
vt.修复，整修„„如新，革新，更新 renown n.名望，声誉 repay
vt.1.归还（款项）2.报答 3.报复 repeal
vt.废止，撤消 repel
vt.1.使厌恶
2.击退，逐回，驱除 3.排斥
repercussion
n.[常pl.]（不良的）影响，反响，后果 repertoire
n.（剧团、演员等的）全部节目，全部本领，全部功能 repression
n.压抑，压制，镇压 reprisal
n.报复，报复行动 reproach
n./vt.责备，批评 reptile n.爬行动物
Reptiles’ Rule!
The remnant would not disappear.They hid underground, in the grasses, behind rocks and along the oceans.While there was only a small remainder and repression was constant, they all agreed that there would some day be a reprisal that would cause them to be more renowned than ever before.And they would relish that day when they were no longer seen as relics from the distant past.For reptiles were watching, and though there was a renaissance of interest in their ancestors, the dinosaurs, there would be repercussions where no remorse or mercy would be shown towards humans.The reptiles would someday rule the earth again!--------------------
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Over the years the reptiles’ repertoire of defenses against humans had grown.They could repel people with sounds and movements that created fear in humans that was reminiscent of the dinosaurs they all seemed to love.But the advancement of human culture was relentless and the day for repaying humans for taking over the world seemed further and further away.Some reptiles had even come to a certain reliance on humans.But other reptiles reproached these and told them that one day they would have to renounce the people they called their owners.So they all waited and looked forward to the day when they would renovate the world for reptiles again.And when the reptiles were big strong enough no other species would be able to repeal their rule!The dinosaur age would come again!爬行动物的统治
残留部分就是不消失。他们藏在地下、藏在草丛里、藏在岩石后面并且沿海也有。尽管剩下的数量很少，而且镇压不断，他们都认为总有一天会出现报复行为，而这种报复将使他们比以往任何时候都更有名气，而且他们将从这一天获得乐趣，因为到那时他们将不再被看成是遥远过去的遗迹。由于爬行动物在观看，尽管人们再次对他们的祖先恐龙产生了兴趣，但是将来总会出现人类既不表示痛恨、也不表示怜悯的后果，终将有一天爬行动物将重新统治地球！
多年来，爬行动物对人类的全部防卫能力已经增加，他们能用使人类害怕的声音和动作让他们感到厌恶，这种害怕会使他们想起他们似乎都很喜爱的恐龙。
但是人类文化的向前发展是毫不留情的，报复人类接管世界的那一天似乎越来越遥远。有些爬行动物甚至对人类形成了某种依赖，但是其他爬行动物却批评并告诉他们说，有朝一日他们将不得不抛弃他们称之为主人的人。因此他们都等待着盼望着这一天，到那时他们将再次为爬行动物修复整个世界。等到爬行动物长得够壮够大时，其他物种都将无法废止他们的统治！恐龙时代将再次来临！resemblance n.相似，形似 resent
vt.对„„表示忿恨，怨恨 reside
vi.1.居住，定居 2.（in）（性质等）存在，在于 residential
a.1.居住的，住宅的 2.（学生）寄宿的，（须）住宿在任所的 resonance
n.1.回声，反响，洪亮 2.共鸣，共振 resultant
a.作为结果的，因而发生的 retaliate vi.报复 retarded
a.智力迟钝的，智力发育迟缓的 retention n.保留，保持 retort
n.反驳，回嘴 retrieve
vt.1.重新得到，取回，收回 2.挽回，补救 3.检索
retrospect n.回顾
in retrospect 回想起来，事后看来 reunion
n.1.重聚，团聚
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2.（久别后的）聚会，联谊活动 revelation
n.1.被揭示的真相，（惊人的）新发现 2.揭示，透露，显示 revenge n.报复，报仇
vt.为„„报仇，报„„之仇 revere
vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 revision
n.1.修订，修改，修正 2.修订本，修订版 3.复习，温习revive vt.使复苏 vi.恢复 revoke
vt.撤销，取消，废除 revolve vt.旋转
revolve around 以„„为主要内容 rhetoric
n.1.雄辩言辞，虚夸的言辞 2.修辞学
My Brother Mike
Marty resented his retarded brother Mike.Everyone revolved around Mike: whether he was okay, how he was doing, what he was feeling.People even thought there was a resemblance between Mike and Marty.Marty hated it.The rhetoric that his family always gave that Mike needed more attention because of his special needs was never enough to revoke his anger.And while Mike revered his older brother, Marty always wanted to retaliate with some act of revenge that he had to have a retarded brother.One day Marty decided he had had enough.During a family reunion in the rich residential area in which they resided Marty would push Mike into the retention pond behind their home as if it were an accident.Mike couldn’t swim and his resultant death would cause a resonance that would end all of Marty’s problems.In retrospect it had never been a good plan.When they pulled Mike from the pond they were able to revive him.Marty needed quick revision to his story that it was an accident when his cousin had the revelation that Marty did it.But Marty had no retort.His heart was like a revolving door with hatred and love constantly exchanging places.When Marty finally retrieved his composure he told the truth and wept.His retrospect thoughts told him that he loved Mike too.Everyone gathered around Marty and hugged him like he had never been hugged.Somehow they all understood.It wasn’t that they didn’t love Marty, but that they didn’t think Marty needed attention as much as Mike did.Everyone apologized and Marty’s life was different from that day on.He never hated his retarded brother Mike again.我的弟弟迈克
马蒂很恨他的弱智弟弟迈克。每个人都围着迈克转：不管他是否有事、情况如何、感觉怎样。大家甚至还认为迈克和马蒂长得很像，这让马蒂很不高兴。家人经常说的话就是迈克需要更多的照顾，因为他的需要很特殊，这种话怎么也消不了他心中的气。虽然迈克很尊敬哥哥，马蒂还是经常想用各种报复行为报复一下，因为他恨他有这么个弱智弟弟。
一天，马蒂觉得他受够了。那天他们正在他们居住的豪华住宅区举行家庭聚会，马蒂想迈克推到他们家后面的保留池塘，就好象那是一次意外。迈克不会游泳，他因此而发生的死亡将引起一种反响，这样马蒂的问题就全解决了。回想起来，这根本就不是一个锦囊妙计。
他们把迈克从池塘里拉出来的时候还真救活了他。表兄透露是马蒂干的，这时马蒂就得赶快修改他那“是个以外”的故事。但是马蒂没有反驳，他的心像一个旋转门一样爱与恨不断地交替出现。当马蒂终于恢复镇静的时--------------------
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候，他说出了真相并流下了眼泪。回想起过去的一切，他发现他也爱迈克。
大家围在马蒂身边逼供内拥抱了他，就好象马蒂从来没有被拥抱过。不管怎样他们都表示了理解，原来并不是他们不爱马蒂，而是他们没有想到马蒂和迈克一样需要关心。大家都表示了歉意，从那天起，马蒂的生活发生了变化，他再也不恨他的弱智弟弟迈克了。rhyme
n.1.韵，押韵
2.同韵词，押韵词 vi.押韵，用韵
vt.使成韵，用„„押韵 riddle
n.1.谜（语）
2.猜不透的难题，难解之迷 3.粗筛，格筛
vt.1.（用粗筛）筛
2.把„„打得满是窟窿，把„„弄得处处穿孔 rig
vt.1.（用不正当手段）操纵，垄断 2.给（船、桅杆）装配帆及索具 3.(up)用临时替代材料迅速搭起 n.1.船桅（或船帆等）的装置 2.成套器械 rigorous
a.1.严密的，缜密的 2.严格的，严厉的 rim
n.（圆形物体的）边，缘
vt.环绕（圆形或环形物的）边缘 rinse
v.1.漂洗，冲洗
2.用清水漂洗掉（肥皂沫等）n.1.漂洗，冲洗 2.染发剂 rip
v.扯破，撕坏 n.裂口，裂缝 rip into
猛攻，猛击 ripple
v.1.轻轻荡漾
2.（使）泛起涟漪 n.涟漪，波纹 ritual
n.1.（宗教等的）仪式 2.例行公事，老规矩 a.1.作为仪式一部分的 2.例行的 rivalry
n.竞争，竞赛，对抗 roam
v.随便走，漫步，漫游 robe
n.1.长袍，礼服，法衣 2.睡袍，浴衣
v.（使）穿上长袍（或浴衣等）robust
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a.强壮的，健康的 romance
n.1.恋爱，恋爱关系 2.浪漫气愤，传奇色彩 3.爱情小说，传奇故事 rot
v.（使）腐烂，（使）腐朽 n.腐烂，腐朽 rotary
a.旋转的，转动的 rouge n.胭脂
vt.用胭脂擦 roundabout
n.1.绕行线路，绕道，环状交叉路 2.旋转木马
a.绕道的，绕圈子的，不直截了当的 royalty
n.1.王族（成员）
2.[常pl.]（著作的）版税 ruby
n.红宝石，红宝石色 ruffle
v.1.弄皱，弄乱 2.激怒，扰乱 n.褶裥饰边
A Rivalry of Laughter
The rivalry between the two princes was rigorous.If it was not who could tell the best riddles, it was who could make the best rhymes.The royalty was never as happy as when the two boys competed with their jokes in the roundabout where they all gathered.Everyone would ripple with laughter as the boys ripped into each other with their robust humor as they roamed the room like attacking lions.Each ritual competition would begin with the boys each wearing an oversized robe, one of the color rouge and one of blue.That the ruffles of the robes were rotting from overuse never mattered.They were only rinsed once from the previous day.One day, however, the royalty’s romance with the rivalry between the princes reached new heights.This happened with one of the prices brought in a rig of rotary devices to use against the jokes of his brother.When the other prince touched its rim his hair stood straight up from the electric current produced by the rubies in the device.The royalty all fell to the ground laughing as the second prince screamed in surprise.Their laughter stopped suddenly however when they realized that the screams were not of pleasure but of pain.When the device was finally turned off the prince was dead.He had been electrocuted.The first prince, in such grief that his joke had been deadly, turned the rig back on and grabbed the rim himself.He died as well.That castle was soon abandoned and no one ever heard a laugh from it again.带来笑声的比赛
两个王子之间的比赛很严格。他俩不是比猜谜语，就是比押韵。王族成员只有在两个男孩坐在旋转木马上、他们围在周围看他们比赛说笑话的时候才是最高兴的。两个孩子一边像进攻的狮子一样在屋子里漫游一边用强有力的幽默猛攻对方，大家的笑声在周围荡漾。
每次例行的比赛开始的时候，两个男孩都穿着对他们来说尺寸太大的长袍，一个胭脂红色，另一个是蓝色。长袍的褶裥饰边由于使用太久而有些破烂，但这没有关系，它们只是在前一天用过之后才漂洗一次。
然而有一天，王子之间的比赛带给王族成员的传奇故事达到了新的顶峰。事情是这样的，一个王子拿了一套旋转装置来，他要用他对付他哥哥的笑话。当另外一个王子触到他的边缘的时候，装置中的红宝石产生的电流使他的头发竖了起来，王子吃惊地尖叫起来，王族成员倒在地上笑成一团。
但是他们的笑声突然停止了，因为他们发现尖叫声不是因为高兴而是因为痛苦。等到他们终于把装置关上时，--------------------
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王子已经死了。他是被电死的。第一个王子因自己的玩笑弄出人命伤心极了，他把装置重新打开并伸手抓住边缘。他也被电死了。
那座城堡很快就变得空无一人，人们再也听不到发自里面的笑声了。rugby n.橄榄球 rumble
vi.1.发隆隆声，发辘辘声 2.隆隆地行进，发辘辘声行进 3.闹嚷，使人不得安宁 vt.察觉，看穿，识破 n.隆隆声，辘辘声 rummage
vi./n.翻找，搜寻 runway
n.（机场的）跑道 rupture
n.1.破裂，裂开
2.（关系的）决裂，断绝 v.（使）破裂 rustle
vi.沙沙作响，发出瑟瑟声 vt.1.使沙沙作响 2.偷盗（牛、马等）n.沙沙声，簌簌声 rustle up
凑集到，草草弄好 rut
n.车辙，槽，凹痕 in a rut
墨守成规，一成不变 ruthless
a.1.无情的，冷酷的，残忍的 2.坚决的，彻底的 sabotage
vt.1.阴谋破坏，蓄意破坏 2.暗中破坏，捣乱
n.阴谋破坏，蓄意破坏 sacred a.1.神圣的
2.宗教（性）的 3.神圣不可侵犯的 safeguard vt.保护，维护
n.预防措施，保证条款 sag
n.1.下垂，下弯，下陷 2.消沉，下降 salmon n.大麻哈鱼 salon
n.1.（营业性的）店，厅，院 2.（大宅中的）客厅，会客室 3.沙龙 saloon
n.1.酒馆，酒吧间
2.小轿车，箱式小客车
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3.（作特殊用途的）厅，室 salute
vt.1.向„„敬礼，向„„致意 2.赞扬，颂扬 vi.敬礼，致意 n.敬礼，致意 salvage
vt.抢救，营救 salvation n.1.拯救，解救 2.解救措施 sandal n.凉鞋 sane
a.1.心志健全的，神志正常的 2.清醒的，明智的，合情合理的 sanitation
n.公共卫生，卫生设施
My Salvation: Rugby
There aren’t many safeguards in rugby, especially when there is a game between two ruthless teams.This is always clear when the workers from the sanitation department play the workers from the runway crew.No one in their sane mind would join this game, but each team loved to rumble and they always rustled up enough players to keep the excitement in the game from sagging.I had been in a rut in my life recently and was looking for something different.So when the runway crew chief met me in a saloon, told me about the game and invited me to play I quickly returned home, took off my sandals and rummaged around until I had found more appropriate shoes.Arriving at the field to play I was told the rules of the sacred game.After each team saluted the other we began.I have never played such a rough game before: the rustle of men running across the field, the sound of them digging a rut with their shoes to hold their ground, the ruptured muscles that reminded me I was out of shape.Everything felt like I had found my salvation from the boring life I was leading.After salvaging our pride from losing because of one play where a clever player sabotaged us, I walked with both team to the edge of the field.Beautiful women who looked like they were fresh from the beauty salon greeted us with plates full of freshly cooked salmon and beer.The rut I was in was definitely over.我的解救措施：橄榄球
在橄榄球比赛当中没有太多的预防措施，尤其是在比赛双方都不讲情面的时候。卫生部门的人和管理机场跑道的工作人员比赛时这一点总是很清楚。一个神志正常的人是不会参加这种比赛的，但是每个队都喜欢吵吵嚷嚷并且他们还经常能凑齐一批队员使比赛激动人心的感觉有增无减。
我最近生活中有点一成不变，我正想寻找一些不同的东西，因此当跑道队的队长在一家沙龙遇到我、跟我谈起比赛并邀请我加入的时候，我很快回到家里、脱掉凉鞋、四处翻找，直到我找到更加合适的鞋。
来到比赛场地，他们给我说了这场神圣的比赛的规则。双方互相敬礼之后比赛开始了。我以前从来没有打过这么艰难的比赛：队员跑过赛场时的沙沙声、为了站稳脚步鞋子在地上留下凹痕的声音、提醒我我已经受伤的裂开的肌肉，每件事都让我觉得我已经找到办法把自己从枯燥的生活中解救出来。
由于一名聪明的队员在比赛中暗中捣乱，我们因此获救而没有失去自尊，之后我和双方队员一起来到场边。看上去就像刚从美容店出来的漂亮女人朝我们走来，她们手里举着装满了新做的大麻哈鱼和啤酒的盘子。我过去那种墨守成规的生活彻底地结束了。sarcastic
a.讽刺的，嘲笑的，挖苦的 satire
n.1.讽刺，讥讽 2.讽刺作品 saturate
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vt.1.使湿透，浸透 2.使充满，使饱和 saucepan
n.（有盖和长柄的）深底平锅 savage
a.1.残暴的，凶猛的，粗鲁的 2.未开化的，野蛮的 n.野蛮人，粗鲁的人 vt.1.（狗等）乱咬 2.激烈抨击 savor
vt.品尝，欣赏
n.1.味道，滋味，风味 2.情趣，趣味，吸引力 savour 见savor scant
a.不足的，贫乏的 scar
n.1.伤疤，伤痕 2.（精神上的）创伤
v.（给„„）留下伤痕（或创伤）scarf
n.围巾，披巾，薄头巾 scent
n.1.香味，气味 2.臭迹，踪迹，线索 3.香水 vt.1.嗅到 2.察觉 sceptical 见skeptical scoff
vi.(at)嘲弄，嘲笑，讥笑 scoop
n.1.勺子，圆形小勺，小铲 2.一勺的量
3.抢先报道的新闻，独家新闻 vt.1.用勺舀 2.抢先报道 scorn
n.轻蔑，鄙视 vt.1.轻蔑，鄙视 2.拒绝，不屑（做）scour
vt.1.四处搜索，细查 2.洗涤，擦净 3.冲刷，冲刷成 scowl
vi.(at)生气地皱眉，沉下脸，怒视 n.怒容，阴沉的脸色 scramble vt.1.攀登，爬 2.争夺，抢夺 vt.扰乱，搞乱 n.1.攀登，爬行
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2.争夺，抢夺 scrap
n.1.碎片，碎屑 2.废金属
3.[pl.]残羹剩饭 4.少量，点滴 vt.废弃，抛弃 screech
vi.1.尖叫，尖声喊 2.发出尖锐刺耳的声音 vt.尖声喊叫出
n.尖叫，尖锐刺耳的声音 scrub
vi.用力擦洗
vt.1.用力擦洗，把„„擦净 2.取消（计划等）n.矮树丛，灌木丛 scrutiny
n.1.详细检查，仔细观察 2.监视，监督 sculpture n.1.雕刻（术），雕塑（术）2.雕刻作品，雕塑品
A Problem with Orphans
A gang of orphans scoured the city for scraps to live on.Their findings were scant but enough to savor and survive.It was a savage life and as their numbers grew, so did the scrutiny given to them by the people they encountered.Whereas they had been greeted often with sarcastic comments in the early days, now they were mostly scoffed at, scorned by restaurant owners and greeted with scowls.The orphans had to scramble more than ever to keep from being caught.When it became obvious that the city was saturated with orphans, city officials decided something needed to be done.Not wanting to create a satire, however, they decided that they would collect the orphans, scrub them clean, and give them new homes.Saucepans and scarves were collected as the first gifts to give to each orphan.When the roundup began most of the orphans were near a sculpture in the city that they treated as their home base.They screeched and ran when they saw the large number of police coming for them.They were all caught.The newspaper scoop of the day was an image of one particularly scarred orphan being washed three times to get rid of the scent of the city sewers.And because of the positive efforts of the city officials everyone became friendly towards the orphans and all were placed in homes with people who would love them as if they were their own children.孤儿问题
一群孤儿在城里四处搜索残羹剩饭混时度日。他们找到的东西不多但足够品尝和维持生命。这是一种野蛮人的生活，而且随着他们人数的增加，他们碰到的人给予他们的监视也在增加。最早的时候，人们总是用讽刺的话跟他们打招呼，现在却主要被饭店老板嘲笑和鄙视，他们打招呼时会阴沉着脸。孤儿们得比以前更加能够会抢会跑才会不被抓住。
很显然城里的孤儿已经人满为患，这时市政府的官员们认为应该采取点措施。然而，他们不想人觉得这是个讽刺，所以决定把孤儿们聚到一起，把他们擦洗干净，给他们提供新家。他们搜集了许多深底平锅和围巾作为送给每个孤儿的第一份礼物。
这次聚拢开始的时候，大部分孤儿正在一个被他们视为大本营的市雕附近。看到大批警察向他们走过来，他们尖叫着撒腿就跑，但是都被抓住了。
当天报纸的独家新闻刊登了一个身上带疤的孤儿的照片，照片上说他被洗了三次以去掉他身上城市污水管道的气味。由于市政府官员的积极努力，每个人都对孤儿们变得友好起来，所有孤儿都被家庭领养了，这些家庭愿意像爱亲生孩子那样爱他们。seam
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n.1.缝，接缝 2.煤层
sediment
n.沉淀，沉渣，沉积（物）seduce vt.1.勾引
2.引诱，诱使，唆使 seemingly
ad.表面上，看上去 seethe
vi.1.拥挤，云集，充满 2.发怒，激动，骚动 segregate
vt.使隔离，使分开 sensation
n.1.（感官的）感觉能力 2.感觉，知觉
3.轰动，引起轰动的事件（或人物）sentiment n.1.意见，观点 2.感情，情绪 sentry
n.哨兵，警卫 serene
a.1.安详的，宁静的 2.平静的 sergeant n.中士，警官 serial
n.连续剧，连载故事 a.连续的，顺序排列的 sermon
n.1.布道，讲道
2.说教，令人厌烦的冗长讲话 setback
n.挫折，倒退，失败 shabby a.1.破旧的 2.衣衫褴褛的
3.卑鄙的，不公正的 shack
n.简陋木屋，棚屋 shaft
n.1.柄，杆
2.（光的）束，光线 3.轴 4.竖井，（电梯的）升降井 shampoo n.1.洗发剂，（地毯等的）洗涤剂 2.用洗发剂洗头，用洗涤剂洗地毯 vt.用洗发剂洗（头），用洗涤剂洗（地毯等）shark n.1.鲨鱼
2.勒索者，诈骗者，放高利贷的人 shatter
vt.1.使粉碎，砸碎
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2.使破灭，使震惊 vi.碎裂
Hiding in a Shack
He was not a serial killer, but his life was shattered by the accusation.Now he was on the run and seething with anger.His hiding place was a shack in the woods that only had a small opening in the roof where a shaft of light would come through in the evenings.The water he drank was from a well filled with sediment.They were shabby conditions.But he was determined to survive this setback no matter how long it took.One day he snuck out to see if sentiment had changed against him.After sneaking past the sentries and the sergeant monitoring them on the edge of town he was able to slip into a seemingly serene church where the men and women were segregated to separate areas of the church.After hearing a sermon that called for his capture, however, he had a sinking sensation that these accusations were never going to go away by themselves.He had to do something to clear his name.After leaving through the broken seam of one of the curtains at the back of the church he went to a small house and looked into the windows.A woman was in the shower shampooing her hair.He had the desire to seduce her ,but knew this would only add to the public image of him as a shark preying on helpless people.When he made a noise, however, and the woman screamed, he had to run away back into hiding again.Now was not the time, he decided.He would have to wait longer before coming out again to try to clear his name.藏在棚屋里
他不是一个连续杀人犯，但是他的生活被这次指控给毁了。现在他在逃亡，他充满了愤怒。他的窝藏地点是个树林里的棚屋，屋里只有屋顶有个小口子，到了晚上会有一束光射进来。他喝的水来自一口水井，水里尽是沉淀物。条件是够差的了，但是他已下定决心，无论多久他都要从这次失败中活下来。
一天，他溜出来看人们的情绪是否已经变得对他不利。从警卫及在城市边上监视他们的警官面前溜过去之后，他悄悄地进入一家看上去宁静的教堂。教堂里男女分开坐在不同的地方，但在听到布道里说要大家捉拿他之后，他沮丧地感觉到对他的指控决不会自行消失，他得做点什么还自己一个清白。
从教堂后面一个窗帘的一条破缝里钻出来之后，他来到了一座小屋并从窗户往里看。一个女人正在淋浴间用洗发剂洗头发。他有一种想勾引她的欲望，但他知道这样做会使他在公众心目中的形象更加成为一个劫掠无助者的诈骗者。但是，他弄出了响声，女人尖叫着，他只得又跑回窝藏地点躲起来。他想现在还不是时候。他还得等一段时间才能再次出来为自己洗清罪名。shawl
n.（长）方形披巾（或披肩）shear
vt.1.剪（羊毛、头发等）2.使折断，使弯曲
n.[pl.]（剪羊毛、树枝等的）大剪刀 shepherd n.牧羊人，羊倌 vt.1.牧（羊）2.带领，引导 shipment n.1.装运，装船
2.装载（或运输）的货物 shipyard n.造船厂 shit
n.1.粪便，屎 2.垃圾，废物
3.胡说八道，蠢话
4.讨厌的人，可鄙的人
int.（表示厌恶，恼怒，惊奇，失望等）呸！放屁！Shorthand n.速记法，速记 shove
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vt.1.乱推，挤 2.乱塞，随意放 vi.用力推，挤 n.猛推
shove off 动身，离开 shovel n.1.铲
2.单斗挖掘机 vi.铲
vt.1.铲，铲起
2.(into)把„„大量投入 shred
n.1.碎片，细条，破布 2.些许，少量 v.1.撕碎，切碎
2.用撕毁机撕毁（文件）shrewd
a.机灵的，敏锐的，精明的 shrimp
n.1.虾，小虾 2.矮小的人 shrine
n.圣地，圣坛，神圣场所 shroud
n.1.裹尸布，寿衣 2.遮蔽物，罩，幕 vt.覆盖，遮蔽，隐藏 shrub n.灌木 shudder
v.1.颤栗，发抖，打颤
2.（机器，车辆等）突然震动，颤动 n.颤动，打颤，颤栗 shun
vt.避开，回避，避免 shutter n.1.百叶窗
2.（照相机的）快门 shuttle
n.1.短程穿梭运行的飞机（或火车、汽车）2.航天飞机
3.（织机的）梭子 vi.穿梭般来回 vt.短程穿梭运送 siege
n.包围，围困 sieve
n.筛子，漏勺 vt.筛，滤
A Shepherd’s Wife
As she watched her husband shove off on the ship bound for another country she shuddered because she knew it would be many years before she would see him again.Now she would have to shepherd their sheep, shovel their shit, and shuttle to market every day all by herself if she wanted to survive.Her neighbors would shun her and she would have to be shrewd in all of her business dealings.--------------------
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第二篇：幽默的小故事帮您轻松掌握六级单词库
读故事记单词（六级）
abbreviation
n.缩写, 缩写词 abide
vt.容忍 abide by 遵守，履行 abnormal a.反常的，异常的 abolish
vt.废止, 废除(法律、制度、习俗等)abortion n.流产, 堕胎 abound vi.1.大量存在
2.（in,with）充满 ,富于 abreast ad.并列，并排 keep abreast of
与„„齐头并进，了解„„的最新情况 abrupt
a.1.突然的,意外的
2.（举止、言谈等）唐突的，鲁莽的 abstain vi.1.弃权 2.（from）戒除 absurd
a.荒谬的，荒唐的 abundance n.大量，丰富，充足 in abundance 充足，丰富 accessory
n.1.附件，零件，配件
2.[常pl.]（妇女手提包之类的）装饰品 3.同谋，帮凶，包庇犯 acclaim
vt.向„„欢呼，为„„喝彩 n.称赞，欢迎 accommodate vt.1.容纳
2.向„„提供住处（或膳宿）3.使适应，顺应 accomplice n.共犯，从犯 accountable a.负有责任的 ace
n.1.（纸牌等中的）幺点，“A”牌 2.（网球等比赛中）发球得分 3.（在某方面的）佼佼者 a.第一流的，杰出的 acoustic
a.1.听觉的，声音的 2.（乐器）原声的 acquaint
vt.（with）使认识，使了解，使熟悉 acquit vt.1.宣判„„无罪
2.（oneself）使（自己）作出某种表现 activate vt.使活动起来，使开始起作用
Accommodating a Pregnancy
Xiaomin never thought abortion was a big deal.As he became acquainted with American politics , however , he realized you have to work hard to keep abreast of changing values to truly understand how absurdly controversial this issue has become.He found out from his American friends that opinions are in abundance of how to teach people to be accountable for their actions, how to make people abide by Family Planning laws, and even how to teach people just to abstain from sex.The significance of this issue became abruptly clear when Xiaomin's best friend, Jeff, got his girlfriend pregnant.Jeff was an acclaimed graduate student who was living an abnormal life from other Americans just by attending a Chinese university to get his Ph.D.(Ph.D.is an abbreviation for Doctor of Philosophy, the highest degree available in a university).Jeff was also an ace soccer player and acoustic guitar player.There was also alway an abundance of women around him.This is how he met Sarah.When Sarah became pregnant with Jeff, his friends suddenly treated him as if he was an accessory to murder.Jeff also felt as if he needed to be acquitted of some crime.But he decided in the end that he and his accomplice, Sarah, would keep the baby.According to Jeff and Sarah, the life of their child was more important than their career.Xiaomin was amazed.Keeping the child would abolish any chance of a successful career for Jeff.And in Xiaomin's eyes, one could activate the process for an abortion with a simple visit to the doctor even though there might be lines, three people abreast.But Jeff and Sarah were firm in their decision and Xiaomin had to abide his friends' decision.Life abounded in surprises.Now Jeff and Sarah were leaving school and returning to the United States.They would do everying they could to accommodate themselves to their new situation.选择生孩子
小民从来没想过流产是个大事。但是，当他了解美国政治之后，他认识到得下很大的工夫才能一直了解不断变化着的价值观念，真正理解关于这个问题的争议是多么的荒唐可笑。他从美国朋友身上发现人们对许多问题的看法是很丰富的，如怎样教人们对自己的行为负责、如何使人们遵守计划生育的法律规定、甚至如何教人们节制性生活。小民最要好的朋友杰夫使女朋友怀孕了，这件事情使上述问题的重要性突然变得清楚了。
杰夫是位颇受赞扬的研究生，他的生活和其他美国人相比是有些反常，因为他在一所中国大学里读博士学位（Ph.D.是Doctor of Philosorhy的缩写，是大学里能够获得的最高学位）。杰夫还是一名优秀的足球运动员和原声吉他手，他身边总是有一大堆女人围着他，他就是这样和萨拉相识的。
杰夫使萨拉怀孕后，他的朋友突然把他当作是谋杀同谋。杰夫也觉得好象有必要判他有罪，但最终决定他和他的共犯萨拉将生下这个孩子。杰夫和萨拉认为，孩子的生命比他们的事业更重要。小民感到很吃惊，因为要这个孩子将彻底毁杰夫在事业上取得成功的机会。在小民看来，你只要去一趟医生那里，整个流产过程就会启动，尽管可能要排队，三个人并列而行。
但是杰夫和萨拉的态度很坚决，小民只好接受朋友们的决定。生活充满了出人意料的事情。现在杰夫和萨拉正打算退学回美国，他们会尽全力使自己适应他们的新生活。WORD affluent
a.富裕的，富足的 aftermath n.后果，余波 aggravate vt.1.加重 2.激怒，使恼火 aggregate n.总数，合计 a.总计的，合计 vt.1.总计达，合计 2.使聚集，使积聚 in the aggregate 总共，作为总体 agitate
vi.（for,against）煽动，鼓动 vt.1.搅动，摇动 2.使焦虑不安 agony
n.（极度的）痛苦，创痛 agreeable
a.1.令人愉快的，惬意的 2.（欣然）同意的，乐意的 aide
n.助手，副官 ailment n.小病，疾病 air-conditioning n.空调设备，空调系统 aisle n.过道，通道 album
n.粘贴簿，集邮簿，像册 alcoholic a.1.酒精的，含酒精的 2.由酒精引起的 n.酗酒者 alien
a.1.外国的，外国人的 2.陌生的
3.性质不同的，不相容的 n.1.外国人，外侨 2.外星人 alienate
vt.1.使疏远，使不友好，离间 2.转让，让渡（财产等）allege
vt.断言，宣称，硬说 alleviate
vt.减轻，缓解，缓和 alley n.小巷，胡同 allot
vt.分配，拨出 alloy n.合金
vt.将„„铸成合金 allude
vi.（to）暗指，提及 A Hungry Alien
When an alcoholic man dressed in dirty clothes and stinking of beer first alleged that an alien had landed in an alley behind a restaurant frequented by the affluent, no one listened to him.Photos from the aftermath filled 10 photo albums.In the begining, as he rushed down the center aisle of the pleasantly air-conditioned room, the alcoholic wasn't able to successfully agitate anybody.It was as if they were only looking at his appearance and not listening to his words.When he did finally find someone agreeable to come outside and see what he said had happened, he was completely alienated to see that the creature was no longer there.Now that he had aggravated so many rich people, he was sure that he would leave the room in agony.His fears were alleviated, however, when the alien broke through a window into the restaurant, somehow knowingly coming to the aide of the alcoholic.When all the people realized that the alien that the alcoholic had alluded to was really there and composed of an aggregate of unknown alloy not affected by normal bullets, they screamed and ran around leaving no chance for anyone to allot a route of escape.They behaved, in the aggregate, as if no one in the world could relieve them of this alien ailment.And they were right.None of the outside help that came could stop the alien from eating everyone in the restaurant.饥饿的外星人
当一个穿着脏衣服、满口啤酒味的酗酒男人宣称有外星人在一家富人经常光顾的酒店后面的一个胡同里降落时，没有人听他的话。事后的照片装满了10个影集。起初，当他从舒服的空调房间的中心过道冲进去的时候，这位酗酒者没能成功地鼓动起任何人。大家好象只在看他的样子，没有注意听他在说什么。当他终于找到一个人愿意出来看一看时，他完全成了孤家寡人，因为那东西已经不见了。由于激怒了那么多的有钱人，他清楚他不得不痛苦地离开那里。但是，很快他的恐惧得到了缓解，因为这时外星人破窗而入，好象知道要当酗酒者的助手似的。当大家明白酗酒者提到的外星人确实存在而且总体上是由一种不知名的、普通子弹打不穿的合金构成的时候，他们尖叫着四处乱跑，竟没有留出一条出路，结果谁也没有机会逃出去。他们的行为总的来说就好象世界上没有人能把他们从这种性质不同的疾病中解救出来。他们的感觉是对的，因为任何外来的援助都没能阻止外星人吃掉酒店里的每一个人。WORDS allure
n.诱惑力，魅力 vt.诱惑，引诱，吸引 almighty
a.1.全能的，万能的 2.很大的，很强的 alternate
a.1.交替的，轮流的；供选择的 2.间隔的
v.（使）轮流，（使）交替 amass vt.积累，积聚 ambiguous
a.引起歧义的，模棱两可的，含糊不清的 ambitious
a.1.有抱负的，雄心勃勃的 2.有野心的 amend
vt.修改，修订，改进 n.[pl.]赔罪，赔偿 amiable
a.和蔼可亲的，友好的 ammunition n.弹药，军火 ample
a.1.足够的 2.宽敞的，面积大的 amplify
vt.1.放大（声音等），增强 2.扩大，详述，进一步阐述 analogy
n.比拟，类比，类推 by analogy 用类推的方法 analyst
n.1.分析家，化验员 2.心理分析学家 analytic 见analytical analytical
a.分析的，分析法的 anarchist n.无政府主义者 ancestry n.祖先，世系 anecdote n.轶事，趣闻 angel n.1.天使 2.可爱的人 anguish
n.（精神或肉体的）极度痛苦 annex vt.兼并，吞并 n.附属建筑物
It had been an ambitious plan.The anarchist had tried to rob a bank all by himself, but then he had ran out of ammunition and now he was trapped in a back portion of the bank building with no escape.As he stood in silence, hugging his gun and waiting to be found, the anarchist knew that there would be ample anecdotes from newspaper analysts the next day to amend to his obituary.They would certainly refer to the anguish he had undergone as a child.Then they would employ all their analytical abilities to reveal other impacts of his ancestry on his ambiguous life.These thoughts flew from his mind however when an angel suddenly appeared to him.He fell to his knees, sure that the Almighty God was coming to take him home.His fears were only amplified when the angel said in an alluring yet powerful voice, “Fear out, your time is short.Stop your goal to amass a foutune for yourself and turn to God.”
Not having any analogy to help him know what to say, or any reference for his excellent analytic abilities to think about, the anarchist only kneeled in silence and empty thought.Then the angel smiled and spoke again in a more amiable voice, “Stand up.The Lord is providing you a chance to lead an alternate life.Leave this place now through the rear buildings annex and you will escape.But remember, God is watching.”
When the angel was gone the anarchist stood and ran.He had no idea how to describe this experience by analogy, but he was happy for a second chance.第二次机会
这是一个野心勃勃的计划，这名无政府主义者想自己一个人抢劫银行，但后来他没了弹药，被困在银行大楼的后面无处可逃。
他静静地站着，紧紧地抱着枪，等着被发现，这时无政府主义者知道，第二天将有足够的报纸分析家撰写的轶事修改他的讣告。他们肯定会提到他小时侯经历的极度痛苦，然后运用他们所有的分析能力揭示他的祖先对他的含糊不清的生活方式的影响。
当这些想法在他的脑海里闪现，然而这时突然出现了一个天使。他跪下来，心想肯定是万能的上帝要抓他回去。天使的声音具有诱惑力和威慑力，这更增加了他的恐惧。“别害怕，你的时间不多了，别再为自己积累财富了，仰赖上帝吧。”
由于没有任何类比可以帮他知道该说什么，也没有任何参考供他优秀的分析能力进行思考，这名无政府主义者只能静静地跪着，脑子一片空白。
这时天使笑了，并且用更加友好的声音说道：“起来吧！上帝正给你一次机会让你过一种供选择的生活，现在你就穿过后面建筑物的附属建筑，离开这个地方，你会逃走的。但是记住，上帝在看着你。”
天使消失后，无政府主义者站起来跑掉了。他不知道如何用类推的方法描述这次经历，但是他很高兴能有第二次机会。WORD activist
n.（政治活动的）积极分子，活动家 addict n.1.有瘾的人
2.入迷的人
vt.使成瘾，使入迷 additive n.添加剂 adhere
vi.1.(to)粘附，附着
2.遵守，坚持
3.追随，支持 adhesive n.粘合剂
a.可粘着的，粘性的 adjacent a.(to)邻近的，毗连的 adjoin
vt.贴近，与...毗连 adjourn
v.(使)休会，(使)休庭 administer
vt.1.掌管，料理...的事务
2.施行，实施
3.给予，派给，投(药)admiral
n.海军将领，舰队司令 adolescent n.青少年
a.青春期的，青少年的 adore
vt.1.崇拜，敬慕，爱慕
2.非常喜欢 adorn vt.装饰，使生色 advent n.出现，到来 adversary n.对手，敌手 adverse a.不利的，有害的 aerial
a.1.飞机的，航空的，由飞机进行的2.空中的，架空的 n.天线 aesthetic a.美学的, 审美的, 有审美感的 affiliate vt.使隶属于
n.附属机构，分公司 affirm
vt.1.断言，坚持声称 2.证实，确认 afflict vt.使苦恼，折磨 A Change of Heart
The anti-war activist was not surprised at all that his primary adversay,the Admiral,had been afflicted with a drug addict for a son.He was actually quite happy to find out that his enemy had such personal problems.It was the advent of a new day,however,when the activist decided to help administer the treatment for the adolescent and help the Admiral fight this adverse situation.And it was clear that the [b][color=#ff0000]Admiral was a wonderful person when the activist saw how much the Admiral adored his son.Now living in an adjacent room in a special section of a treatment center, the activist was able to adhere to the strictest methods for helping the boy fight his addiction.The activist was able to help with aesthetic changes,such as adorning the boy with clean clothes, as well as affirm the boy as his body struggled with the medical additives that would help the boy get better.Certain events were luckily also not adhesive in the youth's mind.This included the boys' aerial leap from a tall building.He did not die only because he landed in the swimming pool of the adjoining building.And now the activist was gaining the attention of his affiliates because of his honorable actions.This had never been his motive.He had only wanted to help a person in need.And, as the Admiral adjourned their weekly meeting about the boy's progress,the activist was really happy that he had been able to make a difference in someone's life.彻底的改变
这位反战积极分子的主要对手，舰队司令因儿子染上毒瘾而十分苦恼，但他对此一点也不感到厅怪。实际上，发现他的敌人有这样的个人问题，他还感到很高兴。然而，当这位积极分子决定帮助实施对这位青少年的治疗并协助舰队司令对付这种不利情况时，新的一天到来了。很显然，当这位反战积极分子看到舰队司令对儿子是如何喜爱时，舰队司令成了一个可爱的人。
现在这位反战积极分子正住在邻近治疗中心特区的一个房间里，因而他能够坚持用最严格的方法帮助那个男孩戒除毒隐。这位反战积极分子能够用审美上的变化提供帮助，如用干净的衣服打扮男孩，当他的身体与医疗添加剂的副作用作斗争的时候他会断言它们会使他好起来。
有些事情幸好没有在这个年轻人的心中留下记忆，其中包括他从高楼的空中跳下，他没有死只是因为他掉到了邻近大楼的游泳池里。
由于他的诚心相助，这位反战积极分子得到了他的下属的注意。这并不是他原来的动机，他只是想帮助一个需要帮助的人。在舰队司令使每周召开的讨论男孩病情的会议休会时，这位积极分子为自己能使一个人的生活发生变化而感到由衷的高兴。word nutrient n.营养品，滋养物 a.营养的，滋养的 nutrition n.营养 oak
n.1.栎树，像树 2.栎木，像木 oar n.桨，橹 oath
n.1.誓言，誓约 2.咒骂，诅咒语 on/under oath 在法庭上宣过誓 obedient a.服从的，顺从的 obscene
a.1.淫秽的，下流的 2.可憎的，可恶的 obscure
a.1.不著名的，不重要的 2.费解的，模糊不清的 3.隐藏的，偏僻的 vt.使变模糊，掩盖 obsession
n.困绕，无法摆脱的思想（或情感）obstruct vt.1.阻塞，堵塞 2.阻碍，阻止，妨碍 occupancy n.占有，使用，居住 odor
n.气味，风味，声誉 odour 见odor offset vt.补偿，抵消 offspring
n.1.子女，子孙，后代 2.（动物的）崽 olive
n.橄榄，橄榄树 opaque
a.1.不透明的，不透光的 2.难理解的，晦涩的 oppress vt.1.压迫，压制
2.使（心情等）沉重，使烦恼 opt
vi.（for）选择，挑选 optimism n.乐观，乐观主义 optimum
a.最合适的，最优的，最佳的 orchard n.果园
The Ceremony!
The small group of boys quietly put the oars into their boats and walked into the oak orchard that would lead to an obscure hiding place where they would take an oath to become members of a secret organization.Most were the offspring of previous members whose obsessions were to have their children follow in their footsteps.The boys were therefore the optimum candidates;children of the rich who would be obedient to anyone who would make them richer.As their leader passed them under an olive tree that was obstructing the entrance to a small opening, a strong odor reached all of their noses.It was a nutrient rich smell that still somehow oppressed them all.But the odor and the opaque speech by their leader that followed did nothing to offset the optimism all were feeling that what they were doing was right.This was an organization that they all wanted to be part of, no matter what.Then an obscene ritual occurred which the boys would never forget.When it was over the boys were reminded that they were now all under an oath of silence and the few new members of the organization with a limited occupancy.It was too late to opt out.As a final act they all had to drink a drink that was certainly not good for one's nutrition.It tasted like blood.But they were all in now.And none of them would ever be the same again.入会仪式
一小群男孩悄悄地把桨放进小船并走进橡树园，橡树园通向一个偏僻的隐藏地点，他们要在那里宣誓成为一个秘密组织的成员。他们大部分是先前的成员的子女，那些成员都有一种无法摆脱的思想，那就是让他们的孩子步他们的后尘，因此这些男孩是最佳人选：他们都是富家子弟，谁能使他们更有钱，他们就服谁。
他们的首领在一棵橄榄树下面从他们面前走过，橄榄树把一个小洞的入口堵住了，一股奇怪的气味直冲他们的鼻子。那是一种很有营养的味道，不知怎的还是让他们有些烦恼，但是那种味道及随后首领发表的令人难以理解的讲话并没有抵消他们的乐观情绪，他们觉得他们做得对。无论如何，这是他们都想加入的组织。
然后就举行了男孩们永生难忘的可恶的仪式。仪式结束之后，男孩们被提醒他们现在已经发誓要保持安静，他们少数几个新成员居住的地方很小。现在决定退出已经太晚了。
他们要做的最后一件事是喝下一种东西，那东西肯定没有营养，喝起来像血，但现在他们都已经入会，他们谁也不会跟以前一样了。ordeal
n.苦难经历，折磨，煎熬 orient
vt.1.使适应，使熟悉
2.（to,toward）使朝向，以„„为方向（目标）n.［the O_］东方，亚洲（尤指远东），东半球 oriental
a.东方的，东方人的，东方文化的 orientation n.1.方向，目标，方位 2.熟悉情况，适应，情况介绍 originate
vi.（in,from,with）起源于，来自，产生 vt.创造，创始，开创 ornament n.1.装饰品，点缀品 2.装饰，点缀 vt.装饰，点缀，美化 orphan n.孤儿 vt.使成为孤儿 orthodox a.1.传统的 2.正统的，正宗的 oust vt.1.驱逐
2.罢黜，罢免，把„„撤职（以取而代之）outbreak
n.（战争、情感、火山等的）爆发，（疾病、虫害等的）突然发生 outfit n.1.（用于某种场合的）全套服装 2.（协同工作的）一组人 3.全套装备，全套工具 outing
n.远足，郊游，短途旅行，外出参观（或看戏等）outlaw
n.歹徒，亡命之徒 vt.宣布„„为不合法 outrage n.1.义愤，愤慨 2.暴行，骇人听闻的事件 vt.激起„„的义愤，激怒 outright
ad.1.坦率地，直率地，无保留地 2.完全地，彻底地 3.立即，当场
a.1.清楚的，无疑的，明白无误的 2.完全的，彻底的 outskrits[pl.] n.外围地区，郊区，郊外 overdue
a.1.过期的，到期末付的 2.早该有的，迟到的，延误的 overflow
vi.1.满得外溢，外流，泛滥 2.（with）充满，洋溢
vt.淹没，从„„中溢出，多得使无法容纳 n.1.容纳不下的物（或人）2.溢出，满出 3.溢流口，溢流管 overhear
vt.无意中听到，偷听到 overlap
v.1.（与„„）部分重叠 2.（与„„）部分相同 n.重叠，重叠的部分
An Outlaw Outing
The outing was long overdue.We had been hiding on the outskirts of town as outlaws for far too long.When we overheard that there was an outbreak of some sickness in town that had originated in the orient we knew it was time to come out of hiding and see what was going on.They were calling it the “Oriental Sickness” but we didn't care.The first person we met as we wandered into town was a boy who told us outright that he had just become an orphan.He had nowhere else to go and he wanted to join our outfit.Our leader was outraged that such a small boy had recognized us so easily, but we kept walking into town.Once there we saw that the ordeal must have been great.All ornaments on the buildings for the coming orthodox holiday season had been torn down, several were burnt from fire, and bodies were lying on the street.When we went to get water the bucket was overflowing with blood.We didn't dare drink anything.Quickly losing our orientation as outlaws on the run we were surprised when a mass of people rushed up to us.Their voices were overlapping as they cried for us to take them away.When we replied that we couldn't do anything the crowd turned ugly and ousted us from town.As we rode away none of us could speak.Sometimes natural events overwhelm you, as your own mistakes never can.歹徒的外出
出去的时间早就到了，我们作为亡命之徒在城外郊区已经躲得太久。当我们无意中听到城里爆发了一种来自东方的疾病时，我们知道是我们离开躲藏地点出来打探打探的时候了。他们称之为“东方病”，可我们不在乎。
我们漫步到街上首先碰到的是一个男孩，他坦率地告诉我们他刚刚成了孤儿，没有地方可去，想加入我们这邦人。我们的头儿很愤慨，因为这样一个小男孩居然这么容易就认出了我们，但我们还是继续往城里赶。
一到城里我们就发现那里一定发生过一场苦难经历。建筑物上所有为即将到来的传统节日准备的装饰品都被扯了下来，有些被火烧掉了，街上到处是尸体。我们去找水，水桶里却装满了血，我们什么都不敢喝。
作为逃跑中的歹徒我们很快迷失了方向，看到一大群人冲向我们，我们非常吃惊。他们大声喊着要我们把他们带走，他们的声音重叠在一起。当我们回答说我们帮不了忙时，人群变得凶巴巴的并把我们从城里驱逐出来了。
骑马离开的时候，我们谁也说不出话来。有时候，虽然你自己的错误决不会制服你，而天灾却会。WORD anonymous a.1.无名的，不具名的2.匿名的
3.无特色的，无个特征的 antagonism n.对抗，敌对，对立 antenna n.1.触角，触须
2.天线
anthropologist n.人类学家，人类学者 antonym n.反义词 ape n.猿
vt.模仿 appal 见appall appall
vt.使惊骇，使大吃一惊 apparatus
n.1.器械，器具，仪器
2.机构，组织 appease vt.平息，抚慰姑息 appendix n.1.阑尾
2.附录 applaud vi.鼓掌，喝彩
vt.1.向...鼓掌，向...喝彩
2.称赞，赞许 appraisal n.估计，估量，评价 apprehend
vt.逮捕，拘押，领会，理解 apprentice n.学徒，徒弟 apron n.1.围裙
2.台口(舞台幕前的突出部分)3.停机坪 apt
a.1.易于，有(做某事的)倾向
2.恰当的，适宜的3.聪明的，反应敏捷的 aptitude
n.(学习方面的)才能，资质，天资 arc
n.1.弧形(物)2.弧
3.电弧，弧光 arch
n.拱，拱门，拱形(结构)v.(使)成拱形
a.调皮的，淘气的 archaeology n.考古学
My Apprentice the Ape
The ape had stolen his research apparatus!But now the anthropologist was going to make hime pay!He had always thought his apprentice might be apt to make some stupid mistake that could cost hime dearly,but the apprentice's aptitude had failed him when he pretended to be an anonymous archeology student in front of his own wife.How could she not recognize him? No one was larger or heavier in all the university----that's why they had started calling him “the ape”.The anthropologist wasn't appalled to learn that his wife had played along with the game,and ,not wanting to stop baking and take her apron off, let his apprentice through the [b][color=#ff0000]arch into his secret office.That was when he stole the apparatus!And his wife soon realized that she had made a mistake.Now,as his antagonism was again rising and he had almost reached the house,the anthropologist was certain that he would be able to apprehend the ape and appease his thirst for revenge.As he turned in an arc to stop his car in front of the driveway, and he saw that his apprentice had also seen him, he could tell that the ape was making an appraisal of his escape options.Quickly the anthropologist stepped out of his car, grabbed the antenna, broke it off and threw it at the apprentice.He couldn't help but applaud his aim when it punctured the ape's appendix!Knowing that the usual antonym for revenge was forgiveness, the anthropologist still did not go to help the now injured apprentice.我的猿徒弟
猿居然偷了他的研究器械！现在这名人类学家可是要让他作出偿还！他以前总是认为，他的徒弟可能很容易犯点愚蠢的错误，让他损失惨重，可是当他在自己的老婆面前假装是一名无特色的考古学生时，徒弟的天资让他大失所望。她怎么竟会认不出他？整个大学里没有人比他更大更重----这便是他们开始叫他“猿”的原因。
得知他的老婆也在做戏，而且因为不想停止烘烤并脱掉围裙，便让他的徒弟从拱门进到了他的秘密办公室，人类学家并没有因此而大吃一惊。他偷器械就是在这个时候！他老婆很快意识到她犯了个错误。
现在由于他的敌对情绪又起而且几乎已经到家，人类学家肯定他能逮到猿以平息他对复仇的渴望。
当他呈弧形把车开过来停在车道前面时，他发现徒弟也看到了他，他明白猿在估量他的逃跑方案。人类学家很快下车，抓住天线，把它扯掉并向徒弟扔去。天线刺到了徒弟的阑尾，他不禁拍手叫好！尽管人类学家知道复仇的反义词一般是宽恕，但他还是没有走过去帮助现在已经受伤的徒弟。overpass n.天桥，立交桥 override
vt.1.不顾，不理睬，否决 2.压倒，优先于 overt
a.公开的，不隐蔽的 overthrow vt.1.推翻，打倒 2.使终止，摒弃 n.推翻，终止，结束 overturn
vt.1.使翻转，使颠覆，使倒下 2.颠覆，推翻 vi.颠覆，翻转，翻倒 overwhelm
vt.1,（感情上）使受不了，使不知所措 2.征服，制服 overwhelming a.1.势不可挡的，压倒的 2.巨大的 owl n.猫头鹰 oxide n.氧化物 oyster n.牡蛎 ozone n.臭氧 pact
n.契约，协定，条约 paddle n.1.短桨，桨
2.（用脚拍打）玩水，涉水 vi.1.划桨前进，荡桨 2.（用脚拍打）玩水，涉水 vt.1.用桨划（船）2.用木板打 pamphlet n.小册子 panda n.熊猫 pang
n.一阵（剧痛、悲痛等）panorama n.1.全景
2.概括，综述，概观 pant vi.1.喘，气喘 2.（for）渴望 vt.气喘吁吁地说 n.气喘，喘息 paperback n.平装本，简装本 parachute n.降落伞 vi.跳伞 vt.伞投，空投
No Hope?
Some people will do anything to overturn bad policy and save the planet.Environmentalists, in particular, are known for their overt attempts to overwhelm businesses and governments to change.The issues they stand against are well known: the shrinking ozone layer, the protection of pandas, the destruction of spotted owl habitat, and even over fishing in areas where oysters beds are threatened.These people parachute into dangerous areas, paddle alongside massive fishing boats,or release pamphlets from airplanes because of their internal pact with each other to make a differnce.Against the panorama of these activities, it is sometimes difficult for normal people not to feel a pang of regret for how our own needs sometimes override those of nature.We cry when we see a baby seal killed, we pant when the air feels too full of carbon dioxide, and we weep that so many trees are being cut down to print the paperback books we love to read.But we don't know what to do.It all seems so overwhelming.Sometimes we even want to throw ourselves over the overpass into oncoming traffic because it is all so sad and we know that we can't overthrow our own governments.It is as if we really are like a virus on this planet, destroying all of nature to satisfy our own needs.While we may think of something to do that might make a small amount of change, we really don't know if we can make a big enough difference.And we fear that it will all be too late anyway!Have we really come this far to have it all end like this? 希望渺茫？
有些人会不惜一切推翻不好的政策、拯救这个地球。环境保护主义者在这方面尤为出名，因为他们公开想制服企业和政府，让它们做出改变。他们关心的问题是众所周知的：不断缩小的臭氧层、熊猫的保护、已被发现的猫头鹰栖息地的破坏、甚至还有在牡蛎繁殖地受到威胁的区域过度捕鱼的问题。这些人跳伞到危险地区和巨大的渔船一起划桨前进、或者从飞机上散发小册子，因为他们相互之间有个内部协定要与众不同。
综述所有这些活动，正常人有时会发现很难不感到一阵后悔，因为我们自己的需求不知为何会那样压倒自然的需求。看到一只小海豹被杀死我们会哭起来，感觉空气中有太多的二氧化碳我们会气喘，那么多树被砍倒印制我们喜欢看的平装书会使我们流泪，但我们不知道该做些什么，一切都似乎那么势不可挡。有时候我们甚至想把自己从天桥上扔到滚滚车流中去，因为一切都那么令人伤心，而我们又知道我们不能推翻我们自己的政府。
我们真像是这个星球上的病毒，我们破坏整个自然以满足自己的需求。虽然我们可能会想起来做点什么、带来一些小小的变化，我们实在不知道我们是否能够扭转乾坤，并且我们还担心无论如何已经为时已晚！我们真的到了一切只能这样结束的地步吗？ WORDS ardent
a.热心的，热情的，热烈的 arena
n.1.表演场地，竞技场
2.活动场所 aristocrat n.贵族 armor
n.盔甲，装甲，保护物 armour 见armor array
n.1.展示，陈列，一系列 2.排列，队形
3.衣服，盛装
4.数组，阵列
vt.1.排列，配置(兵力)2.打扮，装饰 arrogant a.傲慢的，自大的 arson n.纵火(罪)artery n.1.动脉
2.干线，要道 articulate
a.1.善于表达的，发音清晰的2.表达得清楚有力的vt.1.明确有力地表达
2.清晰地吐(字)，清晰地发(音)artillery n.1.火炮，大炮
2.炮兵(部队)ascend
vi.渐渐上升，升高
vt.攀登，登上 ascertain vt.查明，弄清，确定 ascribe
vt.1.(to)把...归因于 2.把...归属于 ashore ad.在岸上，上岸 aspiration
n.强烈的愿望，志向，抱负 aspire
vi.渴望，追求，有志于 ass
n.1.笨蛋，傻瓜 2.驴
[b][color=#ff0000]assassination n.刺杀，暗杀 assault
vt.(武力或口头上的)攻击，袭击 assert
vt.1.肯定地说，断言 2.维护，坚持 assert oneself
坚持自己的权利，显示自己的权威
The Advent of a New Day
As he drove the armored car around the arena in preparation for the assault on the President, Buck McCoy was having second thoughts.He had never aspired to this level of crime.And it was still quite difficult to ascertain how he had ascended to be given this task by his boss.He had always been good at simple arson and as well as an array of other tasks, but an assassination of the President of Botswana? He wasn't ready for this and he was ready to get his ass out of there.As Buck thought about it some more, he could only ascribe his involvement to his articulate brother.Always wanting to be among the aristocrats of crime, his brother asserted himself whenever he could into deeper levels of daring.This time,however, his arrogant behavior was going to cause Buck the loss of his life.And Buck didn't like that.Now it was time for him to assert his own thoughts, and he would stay ardent with his decision not to take part in this foolishness.So he left the arena and drove down to the boat that would take him ashore off the island where he had been testing his artillery.Yes, this was a risk to leave a job like this, but now it was Buck's aspiration to give up crime all together and find a career that was less stressful and damaging to his arteries.Maybe now his health would improve and he could live a less stressful life.新的一天的来临
当他驾着装甲车在活动场所周围准备对总统发起攻击时，巴克.麦科伊正想他的心事。他从来没有追求过这种水平的犯罪，他仍然很难弄清他是如何升到这种高位让老板委以如此重任的。对于一般的纵火和一系列其他的活动来说，这些一直不在话下，但暗杀博茨瓦纳总统他行吗？他没有准备好干这个，他准备彻底摆脱这种愚蠢的行为。
经过再三考虑，巴克只能把这一次的卷入归因他那能言善辩的哥哥。由于一贯想成为罪犯中的贵族，他哥哥只要有可能就会显示自己更加高超的冒险水平。然而这一次他的自大行为将导致巴克丢掉性命，而巴克并不喜欢这样。现在应该是坚持自己的想法的时候了，他有热情坚持自己的决定，不参预这种愚蠢的事情。
因此他离开活动场所，开车来到一条船边，这条船将带他离岛上岸，他一直在这座岛上测试他的大炮。是的，离开这样的工作是一种冒险，但是现在巴克有一种强烈的愿望，那就是彻底即出江湖，寻找一份压力更小、不那么损伤脑筋的工作。也许现在他的健康状态会有所好转，生活压力也会有所减少。paradise n.天堂，乐园 paradox
n.1.似乎矛盾而（可能）正确的说法 2.自相矛盾的人（或事物）paralyse 见paralyze paralyze
vt.1.使瘫痪，使麻痹 2.使丧失作用
3.使惊愕，使呆若木鸡 parameter
n.1.[常pl.]界限，范围 2.参数 parasite n.1.寄生生物 2.寄生虫 parlor
n.1.（出售某些商品或提供某种服务的）店，馆，院2.客厅，会客室 parlour 见parlor parrot n.鹦鹉 participant n.参加者，参与者 partisan
a.党派的，派性的，偏袒的 n.1.党徒，忠实的追随者 2.（敌后）游击队员 partiton n.1.分隔物，隔墙 2.分割，划分 vt.隔开，分割，划分 partnership
n.合伙（关系），合伙经营（的企业），合伙人身份 passionate a.1.多情的
2.充满激情的，激昂的 3.热切的，强烈的 pastime n.消遣，娱乐 pastry
n.油酥面团，酥皮糕点 pasture n.牧草地，牧场 vt.放牧 patent n.专利，专利权
a.（有关）专利（权）的，受专利保护的 vt.得到„„的专利权 pathetic
a.1.差劲的，令人生厌的 2.引起怜悯的，可怜的，可悲的 patriot
n.爱国者，爱国主义者 patriotic
a.爱国的，有爱国心的，显示爱国精神的The Last Patriot of the Island Miki!
“I am the last patriot of the Island of Miki left in the world!” Said the parrot from behind the partition that blocked people seeing that he was not a person.“My island was once a paradise.But as is often the case you find great paradoxes in paradise.The paradox on my island was that our pastime was not eating pastries or singing patriotic songs, but destroying each other with our passionately partisan attitudes for how our island should develop.Some participants thought we could profit from tourism and patent the name of our island.Others wanted to set up patrols to keep outsiders away.These two sides could not form partnerships.They could not agree on any parameters.And this disagreement became a parasite that ate at the hearts of our people until we destroyed each other.I myself an paralyzed fromthe battle that followed on the beautiful pastures that were once filled with flowers!On that day they ran with blood.”
“This may sound pathetic.But I am now just a parlor joke.And no one believes my story.They cannot see that, just as happened on my island, countries are now heading towards destruction because people cannot agree with each other.If only they would listen to my story and learn from our mistakes.”
The crowd gasped as the partiton was taken away and they realized that the voice was that of a parrot.As for the parrot, he just looked down, even sadder that his story would not be heard because no one would believe a talking parrot, the last patriot of the Island of Miki.米基岛上最后一个爱国者
“我是世界上剩下的米基岛上最后一个爱国者！”鹦鹉从分隔物后面说，由于有分隔物挡着，人们看不出说话者不是一个人。
“我这座岛曾经是个天堂。但是正如经常发生的那样，你会发现天堂里有很多自相矛盾的事情。我的岛上自相矛盾的事情是，我们的消遣不是吃酥皮糕点或者唱爱国歌曲，而是相互残杀，因为对于如何发展我们这个小岛，我们都充满激情但属于不同党派。有些参与者认为我们可以通过旅游业赚钱并获得我们这个岛名的专利，其他人则想成立巡逻队以防止外来者的入侵。双方就是不能结成伙伴关系，在任何范围内他们都不能达到一直意见，而这种分歧最后成了一种寄生虫，它吞噬着我们的心，直到我们相互毁灭。我自己则在随后的一场战斗中瘫痪了，战场是一个美丽曾经长满鲜花的牧场，那天他们浑身是血地跑着。”
这听起来可能有些可悲，但我现在只是一个酒馆的笑柄，谁也不相信我说的故事。他们看不见许多国家就像我的岛上发生的那样正因为大家观点不一致而走向毁灭。他们要是听我的故事，从我们的错误中吸取教训就好了。“
分隔物被拿掉的时候人们倒抽了一口冷气，他们发现声音是一只鹦鹉发出来的。至于那只鹦鹉，他只是低着头，他的故事没有人听，因为谁也不愿意相信一只会说话的鹦鹉——米基岛上最后一个爱国者，为此他更感伤心。patron
n.1.资助人，赞助人 2.老主顾，顾客 patronise 见patronize patronize
vt.1.以高人一等的态度对待 2.经常光顾，惠顾 3.赞助 pave
vt.铺（路），铺筑 pave the way(for)（为„„）铺平道路，（为„„）作准备 payroll
n.1.工资表，在职人员名单 2.工资总额 peanut n.1.花生 2.[pl.]很少的钱 pearl n.1.珍珠 2.珠状物 3.珍品 pebble n.卵石，小圆石 peck vt.1.啄 2.匆匆轻吻 vi.1.啄食 2.(at)小口地吃 n.1.啄 2.匆匆地一吻
3.（谷物等的干量单位）配克 pedal n.踏板，脚踏 vi.脚踏板，骑车
vt.脚蹬，踩动„„的踏板 peddle
vt.1.（沿街）叫卖，兜售 2.宣传，散播 pedestrian n.步行者，行人 peel
vt.削„„的皮，剥„„的壳 vi.剥落，脱皮
n.（水果等的）皮，外皮 peel off 剥掉，脱去 peep
vi.1.窥视，偷看 2.隐现，慢慢露出 n.1.窥视
2.（汽车喇叭的）嘟嘟声 3.（鼠、小鸟等的）吱吱声 peg
n.1.小钉，栓，挂物钉 2.桩
vt.1.用钉子钉，用钉（或桩等）固定 2.限定（价格、工资等）3.将„„看成，将„„归入 4.投（球）等 peg away at 坚持不懈地做 penalise 见penalize penalize
vt.1.使处于不利地位，不公平地对待 2.判罚 pending
prep.直到，在等待„„期间 a.1.未决的，未定的，待定的 2.即将发生的，迫近的 pendulum n.1.摆，钟摆
2.摇摆不定的事态（或局面）penguin n.企鹅 peninsula n.半岛 perch n.1.（鸟类的）栖息处，栖枝，栖木 2.高处，较高的位置 3.鲈鱼
v.1.（鸟）飞落，暂栖，停留 2.（在较高处或物体边缘）坐着 vt.把„„置于较高或危险处
Penguin=Trouble
So I was pedaling down the street the other day when this funny looking pedestrian crossed the street in front of me.I thought this kid was going to get penalized by the cops for sure since he was swinging back and forth like a pendulum.Well, I couldn't peel my eyes off this kid when I crashed into one of our patrons.Her pearls went flying everywhere like pebbles over the road that had recently been paved.As I got up off the road I paved the way through the crowd to retrieve her pearls.When I heard a funny peep I looked up to see that the kid was a penguin！How I missed that, I'll neverknow, but I'm sure the other messenger boy will peg away at me untill they take me off the payroll or something.Anyhow, the penguin pecked me on the cheek like a kiss and then sat down on my bag like he was patronizing me from the top of some perch.I'm not one to hold grudges so I reached into my bag and pulled out some peanuts.As I peeled open the bag someone threw a couple coins down into my hat, which I had dropped.They must have thought I was peddling the penguin for money!
Well, right then and there I reached down, picked up that money and pegged the person in the back of his head.He turned around and started chasing me.Naturally I ran and now my case in court is still pending.But I never found out what happened to that penguin.I hope he made it back to his home on some ocean peninsula.I wouldn't want him hanging around the city much longer.He sure got me into trouble!企鹅＝麻烦
那天我正在街上骑车，突然有个样子古怪的行人从我面前穿过马路。我心想这个小家伙肯定要遭警察罚了，因为他像个钟摆一样晃来晃去。我无法把视线从这个小家伙身上移开，就在这时我撞到了我们一个老主顾身上。她的珍珠像小圆石一样撒满了最近才铺好的路面。我加快速度在人群中为她铺开了一条路让她捡回珍珠。
听到一声奇怪的吱吱声，我抬头发现小家伙原来是只企鹅！我永远也无法知道我怎么就没有注意到他只不过是只企鹅，但是我确信其他送信男孩会一直抓着我不放，直到他们把我从在职人员名单上拿下来或是怎么的。不管怎样，企鹅像亲吻一样在我的脸上轻轻啄了一下，然后就坐在了我的包上，就像从某个高处以高人一等的态度对待我一样。我不是个怀恨的人，所以我把手伸进包里掏出一些花生来。在我打开包的时候，有人往我的帽子里扔了几枚硬币，因为我把帽子掉在了地上。他们一定以为我在拿企鹅叫卖！
就在此时此地我弯腰把钱捡了起来朝那个人的后脑勺扔去，他转过身来开始追我。我自然是跑掉了，现在我在法院的案子还悬而未决。
但我一直没弄清楚企鹅的下落，我希望他成功地回到了某个大洋半岛他自己的家，我不希望他在城里做更多的逗留。他肯定是给我带来了麻烦！perfection n.完美，完善 to perfection
完美地，尽善尽美地，完全地 perfume
n.香水，香料，香气 vt.1.使充满芳香 2.洒香水于 peril n.1.极大危险
2.[常pl.]危险的事（或环境）at one's peril
（尤用于告诫某人勿做某事）自担风险 periodic
a.周期的，定期的，时而发生的 periodical n.期刊
a.周期的，定期的，时而发生的 perish
vi.1.丧生，毁灭，消亡
2.（橡胶、皮革等）失去弹性，老化 permeate
v.1.弥漫，遍布，散布 2.渗入，渗透 permissible a.可允许的，许可的 perpetual
a.1.永久的，永恒的，长期的 2.无休止的，没完没了的 perplex
vt.使困惑，使费解，使复杂化 persecute vt.1.迫害，虐待 2.纠缠，骚扰 persevere
vi.坚持不懈，锲而不舍 persistent a.1.坚持不懈的，执意的 2.持续的 persuasion n.1.说服（力），劝说 2.信念，信仰 pertain
vi.(to)从属，有关 pertinent a.有关系的，相关的 pest
n.1.有害生物，害虫 2.讨厌的人 pester
vt.不断打扰，纠缠 pesticide n.杀虫剂，农药 petal n.花瓣 petition
n.请愿书，申请书，诉状 v.（向„„）请愿，正式请求
A Persistent Female Lawyer
The female lawyer I knew was perpetually pestering judges to have periodic lunches with her.I am sure she thought this was permissible, but everyone else was sure she was going heavy on the perfume and female persuation tactics to gain some extra favor at all of their peril.So my friends and I decided to gain some pertinent information about her case history to see if it might reveal if her persistent behavior had had any actual effect.We were surprised to learn that it had.In periodical reports we found out that she was always winning cases with the judges she took to lunch.We knew our future as lawyers would blossom like the petals on a rose if we could prove this, but we also realized that our future could perish if we went after the judges and failed.So I decided to drop my case dealing with pesticide control and focus on a petition that would show all proof pertaining to what we had found.My work would have to near perfection if I wanted to succeed.The case permeated my life for weeks.Whenever I was perplexed by what I had found I persevered to the perfection that I had sought.I did not want to persecute this female lawyer——I wanted to send her and the judges to jail.Then they would not call me a pest and know that it was their own actions that brought about their peril.I won the case.The female was barred from practicing law and the four judges she had influenced all went to prison!I am, by the way, also a woman!坚持不懈的女律师
我知道的这名女律师没完没了地缠着几位法官定期与她一起吃午饭。我确信她认为这样做是允许的，但其他人都觉得她是在用大量的香水和女性的劝说手段获取更多的优势而让他们所有的人自担风险。于是我和我的朋友决定就她的案例记录取得一些相关的信息，看能否弄清楚她那坚持不懈的做法是否真的产生过影响。
我们吃惊地发现还真的有影响。在定期报告中，我们发现她请法官吃饭果然能常常打赢官司。我们知道如果能证明此事，我们未来的律师生涯将像盛开的玫瑰花瓣一样；但我们同时意识到如果我们调查法官却一无所获，我们的未来就玩完了。所以我决定放弃手中有关农药控制的案子而集中写好一份关于我们的发现的诉状。如果想成功，我的工作要做得近乎完美。
几个星期以来这个案子一直渗透到了我的生活。只要我对我的发现感到困惑我就会坚持不懈，追求完美。我并不想迫害这名女律师——我只想把她和那些法官送进监狱。这样他们就不会认为我是个讨厌的人，并且知道给他们带来危险的是他们自己的行为。
我打赢了这场官司。女律师被取消了律师资格，受她影响的四位法官也被送进了监狱！顺便说一下，我也是名女性！petty
a.1.小的，琐碎的，不重要的 2.气量小的，心胸狭窄的 pharmacy n.1.药房，药店 2.药剂学，配药 physiological a.生理的，生理学的 picket
n.1.（罢工时的）纠察队，纠察队员 2.警戒队，警戒哨 vt.1.在„„设置纠察线
2.派„„担任纠察，布置（警卫）警戒 vi.担任纠察（或警戒哨）picturesque a.1.美丽如画的
2.（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 pier
n.（伸入水域的）码头，突堤 piety n.虔诚，虔敬 pilgrim n.1.朝圣者
2.（在国外的）旅行者，漫游者 pineapple n.凤梨，菠萝 pinpoint
vt.1.准确描述，确定，确认 2.精确地确定„„的位置 n.针尖，尖端 a.十分精确的 pirate
n.1.非法盗印（或复制）者，侵犯版权者 2.海盗
vt.1.以海盗的方式抢劫，抢掠 2.盗用，非法盗印（或复制）pistol n.手枪 piston n.活塞 pitfall
n.1.隐患，易犯的错误 2.陷阱，圈套 pizza
n.意大利馅饼，比萨饼 plague n.1.瘟疫，鼠疫 2.灾难，祸患
vt.使痛苦（或难受），给„„造成困难（或麻烦）plank
n.1.厚木板（条）2.政纲条目，政策要点 plaster n.1.灰浆，灰泥 2.石膏
3.橡皮膏，膏药
vt.1.在„„上抹灰泥，厚厚地涂抹 2.粘贴于，张贴于，贴满 plateau n.1.高原
2.（上升后的）稳定时期（或状态）plausible
a.似有道理的，似乎正确的，貌似可信的 plea
n.1.恳求，请求 2.抗辩，答辩，辩护 3.借口，托辞
False Piety
It was another day on the picket line.Today we were in front of a pharmacy that supposedly sold drugs tested on animals to increase people's physiological tolerance for pain.Well that was plausible, but no one ever heard our pleas, they just went from one petty picket line to another unable to pinpoint an overall theme to our actions.I was at a plateau on the whole picket line thing when we met a man who said that we could have a greater impact by pirating ships, using pistols, and doing something more drastic.This would get more attention as well as our faces plastered all over the TV screen and newspapers.We decided to give it a try.He never mentioned any pitfalls.Our first and only action was on a picturesque pier in Southern California.After eating our fill of pizza and pineapples we headed to the fishing boat that we were sure caught fish and also killed dolphins in the process.Our plan was to wreck the pistons of the boat engine and then make the captain symbolically walk the plank.But we were pilgrims in this new country of activism and the police fell upon us like the plague before we had done any damage at all.It also turned out that the man who told us to do this was an undercover policeman.All of his false piety was simply a trap to get us to do something crazy so that he could arrest us.And we had fallen for it all.假装虔诚
纠察线进入了新的一天。今天我们是在一家药店前面，据说这家药店买的药在动物身上做过实验，是用来增强人们忍受疼痛的生理能力的。这听起来似乎有些道理，但没有人听我们请求，他们只是从一条小的纠察线走到另外一条小的纠察线，不能对我们行动的主题作出准确判断。在整个纠察线里面，我处于一种稳定状态，这时我们碰到了一个人，他说通过以海盗方式抢劫船只、使用手枪、做一些更加极端的事情我们就可以有更大的影响，这样会吸引更多的人注意，还会使我们的面部出现在电视屏幕上和报纸上。我们决定尝试一下。他只字未提容易犯的错误。
我们的首次同时也是唯一的一次行动是在南加利弗尼亚一个风景如画的码头。吃饱比萨饼和菠萝之后，我们向一条渔船走去，我们相信它能抓到鱼并且还能在捕鱼的过程中杀死海豚。我们的计划是破坏船上发动机的活塞，然后让船长象征性地在原木板上行走。但是在这个新的激进主义国家我们是朝圣者，我们还没来得及搞任何破坏活动，警察就像瘟疫一样对我们进行了袭击。
原来那个要我们做这种事的人是个警察密探。他装得那么虔诚完全是个圈套，他让我们做一些疯狂的事，这样就可以把我们抓起来。我们还真上了他的当。plead
vi.1.恳求，请求 2.申诉，答辩，辩护 vt.1.为„„辩护 2.提出„„为理由（或借口）plight n.困境，苦境 pluck
vt.1.拔，摘，采 2.拔除„„的毛 3.弹，拨，弹奏 vi.(at)拉，拽，拉扯 n.勇气，胆量，决心 plum n.李子，梅子 a.待遇好的 plumber n.管子工，水暖工 plume
n.1.（升上空中的）一缕（烟、尘土等）2.羽毛，羽饰 plump
a.丰满的，胖乎乎的
vi.1.(down)扑通倒（或坐）下，蓦地摔下 2.(for)选定
vt.1.使扑通倒（或坐）下，蓦地摔下 2.(up)轻轻拍打使（枕头等）变得鼓起来 plunder
vt.劫掠„„的财物，掠夺 n.1.劫掠物，赃物 2.劫掠，抢夺 pneumonia n.肺炎 poignant a.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 poise
n.1.稳重，镇定 2.（优美）姿势，姿态 3.平衡，平稳
vt.使平衡，使平稳，平稳地拿 poke vt.1.戳，捅
2.用„„戳（或捅），把„„戳向 3.伸出，突出 vi.伸出，突出 n.戳，捅
poke about/around 搜索，探问 poke fun at 拿„„开玩笑，取笑 poke one's nose into 探问，干预 polar
a.1.地极的，近地极的 2.磁极的
3.正好相反的，截然对立的 polyester
n.聚脂（纤维），涤纶 ponder
v.思索，考虑，沉思 pony
n.矮种马，小马 popcorn n.爆玉米花，炒苞米 pope
n.[常the P_]（天主教）教皇，罗马主教 porcelain n.瓷，瓷器 porch n.门廊 pore n.毛孔，细孔
vi.(over)仔细阅读，审视
The Lucky Plumber
The plumber had always been lucky at games.But the day he went to the carnival with the polar bear it all came to a poignant end.It started when he was poking about looking for a game to play.He had already done the pony ride, eaten popcorn, and plucked a plum from a tall tree using a feather to won a porcelain doll of the Pope.But now he was pondering if he could win a guessing game to win the polyester jacket that the game host was wearing as he sat on his porch.When he decided to try the host began to poke fun at him that he would lose his poise and not be able to guess his weight.And he was right.The plumber was wrong with his guess.He pleaded for a second chance and even paid to guess again.When he guessed wrong again a plump woman with a bright orange plume on her hat stepped in to try as well.The plumber poked her in the side and told her not to poke her nose into other peoples business.He was still playing and she wasn't going to plunder the prize that he thought was his!
But the plumber just could not win the guessing game.When he finally acknowledged his plight, the pores on his skin were all worn out from sweating so much!I hear he was never the same again and that he died of the pneumonia he caught that night a few weeks later.Some people just can't stand being down on their luck.幸运的水暖工
这个水暖工玩游戏时一贯幸运，但是那天他和北极熊一起去参加欢庆会时，他的运气令人痛苦地结束了。他到处探问有什么游戏可玩的时候坏运气就开始了。他已经玩过骑矮种马、吃爆玉米花、用一跟羽毛从一棵大树上摘李子以赢取教皇的瓷娃娃，但是现在他正在思考他是否能够在这次猜谜游戏中获胜以赢得坐在门廊里的游戏主持人穿的那种涤纶夹克。
当他决定试一下的时候，主持人跟他开了个玩笑，说他会失去平衡并猜不出他的体重。他还真说对了，水暖工猜错了。他请求再给他一次机会，他甚至愿意掏钱只要让他再试。在他再次猜错的时候，一位丰满的、帽子上插着一根鲜艳的橙黄色羽毛的妇女走近来也要试一下。水暖工在她侧面捅了一下并告诉她不要干预别人的事，他说他还在玩，她不要抢走他认为属于他的奖品！
但是水暖工就是赢不了这次猜谜游戏。等他终于承认自己的困境时，他皮肤上的毛孔因为出汗太多都坏掉了！我听水他再也没能重振雄风，几个星期之后他死于那天晚上得的肺炎。有些人就是不能忍受不走运。portray vt.1.描写，描绘 2.扮演，饰演 postscript
n.1.（信末签名后的）附言，又及 2.（正文后的）补充说明 posture n.1.姿势，姿态 2.看法，态度
vi.摆出（不自然的）姿势，装模作样
第三篇：背媳妇搞笑幽默故事
情人节这天上午，张大伯和老伴李大娘上街买菜，还没到菜场，就发现商场门前人山人海，热闹非凡，挤进去一看，原来正在举行背媳妇大赛。
看着台上那些小伙子背着姑娘们跑来跑去的景象，李大娘触景生情，把张大伯拉出人堆，说：“老头子，你也背背我呗，咱俩谈恋爱时，你不是也经常这样背我吗，今天咱也找找那种浪漫心动的感觉。
张大伯扭头四下看了看：“咱们都一大把年纪了，这样不好吧，万一被熟人看见咋办？
李大娘眼一瞪：“哦，你现在不好意思了，当初那会儿你咋不怕呢，是不是现在我老了，模样丑了，你嫌弃我了？张大伯被李大娘问得说不出话来，只好乖乖蹲下身子，背起老伴。
谁知刚走没几步，就听“吱一声，一辆出租车停在他们身边，司机走下来，关切地问：“哎，大伯，大娘这是怎么了？
张大伯一看，原来是邻居大刘，他怕直说被人家笑话，便随口应道：“啊，你大娘刚崴了脚，疼得走不了路了。李大娘也忙配合着龇牙咧嘴地直叫唤。
大刘一听，忙热心地打开车门：“那得上医院呐，快上车！说着，不由分说，便把二老扶上了车。
到了医院，张大伯掏出二十块钱给大刘，要当车钱，大刘推辞了两下，最后还是收下了。
老两口在医院里转悠了几圈，寻思着大刘已经走了，便一边商量着坐哪路公交回家，一边慢慢地走出医院，哪知刚出院门，大刘就迎了上来。张大伯尴尬地问：“大刘，你还没走啊？
大刘热心地说：“我寻思大娘一时半会儿还不能走，便在这儿等着送你们回家。咦，大娘好像好多了？
李大娘忙应道：“比刚才好点了，好点了，哎哟，现在又疼了。说着一把扶住张大伯。
大刘一看，忙打开车门，让两人坐进去。老两口苦着脸对视了一眼，只好再次坐上大刘的出租车。到家后，热心的大刘还把李大娘背到了五楼的家里。人家大刘又出车又出力，张大伯实在过意不去，又塞给了他二十块钱。
忙活了半天，菜一根没买，还搭进去四十块钱，张大伯又怨又气，他瞪了老伴一眼：“都怨你，非要我背你，说要找什么，噢，浪漫心动的感觉，看你以后还找不找！
李大娘安慰老伴说，“老头子，虽然浪漫和心动的感觉咱都没找到，但咱们找到了另外的一种感觉呀。
“什么感觉？
“浪费和心痛的感觉呗！李大娘怯怯地说。
第四篇：幽默小故事
经典幽默小故事
坐错地方
一位妇人在公园的长椅上坐下，她看四周无人，便把腿伸直躺在椅子上。过了一会儿，一个乞丐走到她面前说道：“相好的，一起散散步如何？” “你好大的胆子，”妇人说：“我可不是那种勾三搭四的女人！” “那么，”乞丐又说，“你在我床上干什么？”
赵钱孙李
从前，有一位私塾先生，教了十几个小学生，其中有一个是财主的儿子，读的是《百家姓》，但他总是读不会。有一天，先生气急了，说道：“赵钱孙李这么简单的话你都记不住，真没用，我再来开导开导你。你不是姓赵吗？你们家不是很有钱吗？你的儿子的儿子不就是你的孙子吗？我的名字叫李万年。这样详详细细地解释给你听，你如果还记不住，真是该打手心！”第二天，这个学生朗朗背诵道：“我姓赵，我有钱，我的孙子李万年。”同学们听了，哈哈大笑。
到了哪一头
小伙子当恩在街上突然碰到几个月前给他主持婚礼仪式的牧师。
当恩问牧师：“在举行婚礼的时候，您不是代表上帝宣布：我和我妻子的一切烦恼都已经到头了吗？可是现在我正烦恼得很哪！”
“对，我是这样说过。”牧师不慌不忙地回答，“烦恼有开始的一头，也有消失的一头；当时我可并没有说明您是到了哪一头。”
彼此彼此
有个缺德鬼去给朋友拜年，在路上碰见了他的邻居——一个聋子。他乐呵呵地拱手给聋子拜年：“恭喜你今年早死！”
聋子以为他说的都是吉利话，便回拜说：“你也一样！你也一样！”
哭与笑
有几个人在野外拾到一个地理先生使用的罗盘，大家都不认得，拿给毛拉看是件什么东西。毛拉先是呜呜地哭，接着又哈哈地大笑起来。弄得这几个人迷惑不解地问：“你又哭又笑的，到底是怎么回事？”
毛拉诚恳地答道：“我开始哭，是觉得你们太愚昧，连这么个小东西都不认识；后来笑，是因为我发现自己也不认得这东西。”
手套
中华民国时期有个染坊工人被法院传票到法庭上作证，他举手宣誓时，整个手黑得像墨一样，法官见了，就高声叫道：“你先脱掉手套，然后再宣誓。” 染坊工人认真地说：“请你戴上眼镜，看清后再发言。”
主教落入陷阱
主教听别人说，到纽约后很有可能被报界拖入预设的陷阱，所以要格外小心。在机场，有位记者一见面就问他：“你想上夜总会吗？”主教想岔开这个问题，就讥笑着反问：“纽约有夜总会吗？”真没想到，他还是落入了陷阱。因为第二天报纸上报道这次会见的大标题是：“主教走下飞机后的第一个问题：„纽约有夜总会吗‟？”
一字之差
有一个教徒结了婚，她接到了朋友发来的贺电。电文原本是“约翰1—4—18”。朋友的意思是让她查看《圣经》中《约翰福音》一书，数字标着的页码和行数原是一句祝贺与鼓励的话：“爱里没有惧怕，爱既完全，就把惧怕除去。”
不幸送来的电文漏掉了“1”字，只见电文上写着约翰“4—18”。新娘按电文原意一翻《约翰福音》第四章18节，只见那里写着：“你已经有五个丈夫，你现在有的，并不是你的丈夫。”
损人损己
一位美貌温柔的年轻姑娘独自坐在酒吧里。从她的装束便可以看出她一定出身豪门。这时，一位潇洒英俊的青年男子向她走来，有礼貌地低声问：“这儿有人坐吗？。” 她大声说：“到阿芙达旅馆去？”
“不，不。你弄错了。”青年有几分惶悚，急忙解释说：“我只是问这儿有其他人坐吗？” “您说今夜就去？”她尖声叫道，比刚才更激动。
青年男子被她弄得狼狈极了，红着脸儿到另一张桌子上去了。许多顾客愤慨而轻蔑地看着他。
过了一会，年轻姑娘又来到他的桌边，给他叫了一杯白兰地轻声说：“对不起，我只是想看看您对意外情况的反应。”
青年本来气就未消，见她这般言行，决心叫她也出一次丑，他大声地说：“什么？一次要一百美元吗？”
这一次，窘迫轮给这位年轻的姑娘了。
想跳舞吗
大半个晚上都没有一个人邀请玛丽小姐步入舞池，使她感到非常失望。这时一位英俊潇洒的男士向她含笑走来，玛丽急忙起身微笑相迎。“您想跳舞吗？小姐？”那位男士问道。“是的，谢谢你的邀请。” “正好，我可以坐你的位置了。” 黑暗中的一吻
火车进入隧道，整个车厢里一片黑暗。只听一声亲吻，接着便是一记响亮的耳光。火车迟迟开出隧道后，车厢内四个素不相识的人都没有吱声，唯有德国军官眼圈发青。中国老太太暗想：“这姑娘人美心灵更美。”姑娘想：“真奇怪，这德国人宁亲老太婆不亲我。”德国人想：“罗马尼亚人真狡猾，他偷着亲嘴，我暗里挨打。”罗马尼亚人想：“我最聪明，我吻自己的手背，又打了德国人一个耳光，没人发现。”
最值钱的东西
从前，有一个国王统率的军队包围了一座城池。进城之前，国王发布一条命令：城中的妇女皆可免于一死，明天天亮之前，可以携带自己最值钱的东西离开城池，国王保证大家的安全。不久，只见全城妇女人人背上都背着
一个沉重的包袱，上气不接下气地走出城门，一个个累得满头大汗。原来她们身上背的包袱里，都是自己的丈夫。
美人效应
罗马一家自助餐厅的老板整天苦思冥想，终于想出一个赚别人小费的妙计。他首先请来一位非常漂亮的姑娘，坐在柜台旁边收钱，以便使得男客们神魂颠倒，慷慨解囊。谁料到姑娘上班没几天，就对老板说：“我想，我不如以前那么漂亮了。” 老板急忙问：“这是怎么回事呢？”
“现在，所有的男客都在柜台边反复地数我找给他们的零钱。”
聪明的证据
19世纪时，西方一些科学家声称找到了白种人比黄种人聪明的科学证据：“黄种人的头发截面是圆的，而白种人的则是椭圆的，椭圆有两个圆心，规画更为不易，可见上帝是偏爱白种人的。”殊料，20世纪初，人类学家在非洲某地区发现了一个黑人原始部落，他们的头发与黄种人和白种人都不一样，是扁的。
体检
一位个头很大的爱尔兰青年信步走进了一间办公室，里面正在由军医进行对警察候选人的体格检查。
军医对他说：“脱下衣服来。” “您说什么，先生？” “把衣服脱光，快一点！”
青年人脱了衣服。军医给他量了胸围，检查了脊背后，命令：“跳过这根横杆。” 青年人照着做了，结果动作还好，但摔了个仰八叉。
“双膝并拢，两手触地。”青年人按要求又做了，因失去平衡，跌倒在地上。待他爬起来，军医又命令：“在这冷水池里跳跃五分钟。” “这太滑稽了。”青年人嘟囔着。
“现在绕着房子跑十圈，我要检查你的心脏和呼吸。” 青年人终于气恼地说：“我不，我宁愿打一辈子光棍！” 军医一听，困惑地问：“你这是什么意思？”
青年人说：“是的，打光棍！办个结婚手续哪来这么多的麻烦？”
第五篇：经典幽默小故事
经典幽默小故事
坐错地方
一位妇人在公园的长椅上坐下，她看四周无人，便把腿伸直躺在椅子上。过了一会儿，一个乞丐走到她面前说道：“相好的，一起散散步如何？”
“你好大的胆子，”妇人说：“我可不是那种勾三搭四的女人！”
“那么，”乞丐又说，“你在我床上干什么？”
赵钱孙李
从前，有一位私塾先生，教了十几个小学生，其中有一个是财主的儿子，读的是《百家姓》，但他总是读不会。有一天，先生气急了，说道：“赵钱孙李这么简单的话你都记不住，真没用，我再来开导开导你。你不是姓赵吗？你们家不是很有钱吗？你的儿子的儿子不就是你的孙子吗？我的名字叫李万年。这样详详细细地解释给你听，你如果还记不住，真是该打手心！”第二天，这个学生朗朗背诵道：“我姓赵，我有钱，我的孙子李万年。”同学们听了，哈哈大笑。
到了哪一头
小伙子当恩在街上突然碰到几个月前给他主持婚礼仪式的牧师。
当恩问牧师：“在举行婚礼的时候，您不是代表上帝宣布：我和我妻子的一切烦恼都已经到头了吗？可是现在我正烦恼得很哪！”
“对，我是这样说过。”牧师不慌不忙地回答，“烦恼有开始的一头，也有消失的一头；当时我可并没有说明您是到了哪一头。”
彼此彼此
有个缺德鬼去给朋友拜年，在路上碰见了他的邻居——一个聋子。他乐呵呵地拱手给聋子拜年：“恭喜你今年早死！”
聋子以为他说的都是吉利话，便回拜说：“你也一样！你也一样！”
哭与笑
有几个人在野外拾到一个地理先生使用的罗盘，大家都不认得，拿给毛拉看是件什么东西。
毛拉先是呜呜地哭，接着又哈哈地大笑起来。弄得这几个人迷惑不解地问：“你又哭又笑的，到底是怎么回事？”
毛拉诚恳地答道：“我开始哭，是觉得你们太愚昧，连这么个小东西都不认识；后来笑，是因为我发现自己也不认得这东西。”
手套
中华民国时期有个染坊工人被法院传票到法庭上作证，他举手宣誓时，整个手黑得像墨一样，法官见了，就高声叫道：“你先脱掉手套，然后再宣誓。”
染坊工人认真地说：“请你戴上眼镜，看清后再发言。”
主教落入陷阱 主教听别人说，到纽约后很有可能被报界拖入预设的陷阱，所以要格外小心。在机场，有位记者一见面就问他：“你想上夜总会吗？”主教想岔开这个问题，就讥笑着反问：“纽约有夜总会吗？”真没想到，他还是落入了陷阱。因为第二天报纸上报道这次会见的大标题是：“主教走下飞机后的第一个问题：„纽约有夜总会吗‟？”
一字之差
有一个教徒结了婚，她接到了朋友发来的贺电。电文原本是“约翰1—4—18”。朋友的意思是让她查看《圣经》中《约翰福音》一书，数字标着的页码和行数原是一句祝贺与鼓励的话：“爱里没有惧怕，爱既完全，就把惧怕除去。”
不幸送来的电文漏掉了“1”字，只见电文上写着约翰“4—18”。新娘按电文原意一翻《约翰福音》第四章18节，只见那里写着：“你已经有五个丈夫，你现在有的，并不是你的丈夫。”
损人损己
一位美貌温柔的年轻姑娘独自坐在酒吧里。从她的装束便可以看出她一定出身豪门。
这时，一位潇洒英俊的青年男子向她走来，有礼貌地低声问：“这儿有人坐吗？。”
她大声说：“到阿芙达旅馆去？”
“不，不。你弄错了。”青年有几分惶悚，急忙解释说：“我只是问这儿有其他人坐吗？”
“您说今夜就去？”她尖声叫道，比刚才更激动。
青年男子被她弄得狼狈极了，红着脸儿到另一张桌子上去了。许多顾客愤慨而轻蔑地看着他。
过了一会，年轻姑娘又来到他的桌边，给他叫了一杯白兰地轻声说：“对不起，我只是想看看您对意外情况的反应。”
青年本来气就未消，见她这般言行，决心叫她也出一次丑，他大声地说：“什么？一次要一百美元吗？”
这一次，窘迫轮给这位年轻的姑娘了。
想跳舞吗
大半个晚上都没有一个人邀请玛丽小姐步入舞池，使她感到非常失望。这时一位英俊潇洒的男士向她含笑走来，玛丽急忙起身微笑相迎。
“您想跳舞吗？小姐？”那位男士问道。
“是的，谢谢你的邀请。”
“正好，我可以坐你的位置了。”
黑暗中的一吻
火车进入隧道，整个车厢里一片黑暗。只听一声亲吻，接着便是一记响亮的耳光。火车迟迟开出隧道后，车厢内四个素不相识的人都没有吱声，唯有德国军官眼圈发青。中国老太太暗想：“这姑娘人美心灵更美。”姑娘想：“真奇怪，这德国人宁亲老太婆不亲我。”德国人想：“罗马尼亚人真狡猾，他偷着亲嘴，我暗里挨打。”罗马尼亚人想：“我最聪明，我吻自己的手背，又打了德国人一个耳光，没人发现。”
最值钱的东西
从前，有一个国王统率的军队包围了一座城池。进城之前，国王发布一条命令：城中的妇女皆可免于一死，明天天亮之前，可以携带自己最值钱的东西离开城池，国王保证大家的安全。不久，只见全城妇女人人背上都背着
一个沉重的包袱，上气不接下气地走出城门，一个个累得满头大汗。原来她们身上背的包袱里，都是自己的丈夫。
美人效应
罗马一家自助餐厅的老板整天苦思冥想，终于想出一个赚别人小费的妙计。他首先请来一位非常漂亮的姑娘，坐在柜台旁边收钱，以便使得男客们神魂颠倒，慷慨解囊。
谁料到姑娘上班没几天，就对老板说：“我想，我不如以前那么漂亮了。”
老板急忙问：“这是怎么回事呢？”
“现在，所有的男客都在柜台边反复地数我找给他们的零钱。”
聪明的证据
19世纪时，西方一些科学家声称找到了白种人比黄种人聪明的科学证据：“黄种人的头发截面是圆的，而白种人的则是椭圆的，椭圆有两个圆心，规画更为不易，可见上帝是偏爱白种人的。”殊料，20世纪初，人类学家在非洲某地区发现了一个黑人原始部落，他们的头发与黄种人和白种人都不一样，是扁的。体检
一位个头很大的爱尔兰青年信步走进了一间办公室，里面正在由军医进行对警察候选人的体格检查。
军医对他说：“脱下衣服来。”
“您说什么，先生？”
“把衣服脱光，快一点！”
青年人脱了衣服。军医给他量了胸围，检查了脊背后，命令：“跳过这根横杆。”
青年人照着做了，结果动作还好，但摔了个仰八叉。
“双膝并拢，两手触地。”青年人按要求又做了，因失去平衡，跌倒在地上。
待他爬起来，军医又命令：“在这冷水池里跳跃五分钟。”
“这太滑稽了。”青年人嘟囔着。
“现在绕着房子跑十圈，我要检查你的心脏和呼吸。”
青年人终于气恼地说：“我不，我宁愿打一辈子光棍！”
军医一听，困惑地问：“你这是什么意思？”
青年人说：“是的，打光棍！办个结婚手续哪来这么多的麻烦？”
“啊！”军医笑着向他走来，“可怜的年轻人，你走错办公室了！”
伤心的故事
有三个美国人到纽约度假。他们走进一座高层旅馆，订了一个套间。房间是在大楼的第四十五层。
傍晚，三个人外出看戏，回到旅馆时已是深夜了。
“真对不起，”旅馆服务员说：“今晚我们这幢大楼所有的电梯都出了毛病。若诸位不打算徒步回房间，我们会想办法，给你们在大厅找个安顿的地方。”
“不必了，”其中一个叫汤姆的说：“太谢谢您了，我们不想在大厅里过夜。可以自己走上去。”
开始登楼了，汤姆对两个同伴说：“爬上四十五层，可不是件容易事，不过我知道怎样使之从难变易。一路上，我负责给你们讲笑话，安迪，你唱几支歌。还有你，彼德，给咱们讲几个有趣的故事。”
于是，汤姆讲笑话，安迪唱歌，好不容易才爬到三十四层，大家都疲备不堪，决定先休息一下。“喂，”汤姆说：“现在轮到你了，彼德。该给咱们讲个长一点的故事，情节要有趣，最后来个使人伤心的结尾。”
“那我就照你们的要求，讲一个使人伤心的故事。”彼德说：“故事并不长，却使人伤心极了：我们把房间钥匙忘在大厅啦！”
正点到站
商人吉米在铁路上做了多年的买卖，这一天他偶然发现一列火车很准时到了站。
他急忙地跑到列车员跟前说：“请吸烟，我祝贺你！我在这条铁路上跑了十五年，这还是第一次看见火车正点到站。”
“留着你的烟吧，”列车员说：“这是该昨天此时到达的车！” 遗憾
一位女士上了电车，车上座无虚席，一位先生立即起身让坐。谁知那位女士毫无表情地入座。先生问道：
“夫人，你说什么？”
“先生，我什么也没说。”
“夫人，真遗憾，我以为你说了声谢谢呢。”
明天白吃
一位法国年轻人经过外省的一个小城市，看到一家饭店的门上挂着一个牌写道：“明天，人们在这里吃饭不用付钱。”
那位年轻人盘算着他将美美饱吃一顿。
翌日清晨，天真的年轻人走进这家饭店：“伙计，来一杯牛奶咖啡，外加面包、黄油和干酪！”
老板瞟了他一眼，看着他陈旧的上衣和帽子想：无疑，他不是太有钱的人！老板便质问起年轻人：“你吃饭有钱付吗？”
“吃饭付钱？昨天我看了你们门上的招牌，上面明明写着今天人们在这里吃饭是不用付钱的呀！”
“你真是个大笨蛋，再去看看门上写的。”
年轻人走过去一看，只见门上挂的牌仍然写着：“明天，人们在这里吃饭不用付钱。”
“明天，可不是今天！”
“啊！现在我明白了：这里从来就没有明天！”
酒与水
加布罗沃附近的一个村子聘请了一位老师，为村里的孩子们任教，言定每家每年给他两桶白兰地酒作为劳务酬金。
到了开始酿造白兰地的季节，老师准备了好几个大酒缸，用来收集村民们送来的酒。全村约二百户，共收得酒四百桶。
过了不久，老师贴出广告，要把酒卖掉。
来了一个做酒生意的商贩，舀起酒来尝了尝，皱起眉头走了。
这是怎么回事？其实情况非常简单：每一个村民都想着那么一大缸烈性白兰地酒，掺上两桶水谁又能尝得出来呢？
都没有了
一位顾客走进一家餐馆，把大衣脱下挂在衣帽间，然后坐到桌旁喊道：“来一份熟牛肉。”服务员对他说：“对不起，没有了。”于是顾客改订了
一份牛排。不一会儿，服务员又空着手走出来，再次说：“对不起，没有了！”接下去，顾客又改订了几样菜，都被告知“没有了”。顾客很气愤，站起来说：“那好吧，请你把我的大衣拿来！”不久，服务员慢吞吞地走过来，微笑着说：“真抱歉，您的大衣也没有了！”
仍没法喝
麦克走进饭店，坐了下来。他看了一下菜单，仅点了一个汤，正在忙碌着的服务员马上给他端了上来。过了一会儿，他把服务员叫了过来，说：“对不起，这汤我没法喝。”
服务员感到很奇怪，把菜单拿来，又请他点了一个汤。很快，汤就端来了。然而，过了一阵儿，麦克又把他叫了来：“真对不起，这汤我还是喝不了。”
服务员更感到奇怪了，这次他不再拿来菜单，而是把经理叫了过来。经理毕恭毕恭敬地对麦克点点头，说：“先生，这道汤是本店最拿手的，深受欢迎，难道您……”
“噢，我并没说这汤味道有什么不好。尽管它味道鲜美，但我还是没法喝，您看看：调羹在哪里呢？”
各付各的帐
法国一个新开张的小酒馆门口，常常有些人徘徊着。这时，酒店里有个人喊道：“来呀！朋友们。我喝酒的时候，每个人都可以喝酒。”
门外那些人毫不犹豫地挤进来，像他一样，向柜台取了一杯威士忌，并且也像他一样，一口气将它喝干了。
这人又喊道：“我要再来一杯，朋友们，你们每个人也可以再来一杯。”
于是，大家都怀着激动的心情又干了一杯，干杯时还向这人露出满脸的微笑。
喝完后，这人从他口袋里掏出两美元放到柜台上，吼道：“我付账的时候，你们也该付账了！”
即将吵架
一个男子走进一间酒吧对女招待说：“在吵架之前，给我来一杯可可！”
女招待慌忙递给他一杯。几分钟后，那人又对女招待说：“吵架之前给我送点牛排和炸土豆片来。”女招待更加吃惊，但还是把菜送来了。
就这样，二十分钟过去了，女招待出于好奇，问道：“可是，你说的那个吵架是怎么一回事？究竟什么时候开始？”
“马上就开始！”男人实在地回答道：“因为我没钱买单。” 屠户和律师
在美国的一个市场区一条大狼狗经过一个屠夫的店铺，它跳上肉台衔走了一块挂在铁钩上的肉，屠户很快就认出这是邻舍一位律师的爱犬，于是径直走到那位律师家里。
“律师先生，我想问你一件事，有一条狗偷走我店内一大块肉，我可以控告狗主，索回肉钱吗？”
“当然可以。”这位律师界的“名人”毫不迟疑地回答。
“那好。先生，是您的爱犬偷了我的肉。这是很大一块上等精肉，足足有两公斤重，你该付给我六美元。”
律师瞧了屠户一眼，一语不发，很快如数付了钱。屠户拿了钱得意忘形，三步并作两步回到家里，一刻钟后，他接到了这样一封信：
“屠户先生，你欠律师约翰先生一件普通案的咨询费十五美元整。限三日内偿清，否则法庭见面。” 让神父祈祷
一艘船在航行时遇到了风暴，船舱破损，进水很多，船正在下沉。船长只好在风暴中大声问：“谁会祈祷？”
船上有一名神父自告奋勇地回答：“我会。”
船长说：“那好，你祈祷吧！我们其余人都套上救生圈，因为正巧差一个救生圈。” 知识和头发
某人跟一个面貌长得丑陋的教主打趣说：“你赞美真主，就是因为他把你造得这么美吗？”
教主高傲地反驳说：“我虽然长得难看，然而真主赐给我的知识，就跟你的头发一样多！”
对方脱下戴在头上的帽子，笑着说：“我是个秃子，这下你怎么讲？”
天国与地狱
星期天，牧师到教堂对信徒们说：“希望到天国的人，请起立！”除了 前排的一位少女外，大家全都站了起来。
“好。”牧师让大家坐下，然后又问道：“希望到地狱去的人，请起立！”
这次没有一个人站起来，于是牧师走近那位少女，诧异地问：“你究竟希望到哪儿去呢？”
少女很快答道：“只要留在这儿！”
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