第一篇:高分作文的写作模式修改2
高分作文的写作模式
开头段的写作模式
一, 对立法开头: 用于有争议的观点:
1.when asked about_______________, overwhelming majority of people think that____观点_______for the following reasons.They believe that_进一步说明观点.because of the For one thing, …………..For another,.,…………Therefore,………..But other people don’tThe reasons are as follows.Firstly…………..Secondly,………..As a result………… 2.There is a public/ general/heated debate/ discussion/controversy on/about the problem/ issue of _______.Those who criticize/object to/ oppose it argue that_________.They
believe that_________.The reasons are as follows.Firstly…………..Secondly,………..As a result…………
But people who advocate /favor it , on the other hand, maintain that ___.The reasons are as follows.For one thing, ……For another,……Perhaps the most important(the main, fundamental, primary)reason is that…………
As for me, it has both advantages and disadvantages.(或从中间选一种观点支持或反对并且在第二段详细论述)
(适合的主题)Topics: two day weekend(96)Reading selectively or extensively(99)Is the test of speaking English necessary?(2000)energy crisiscareer choicejob hoppingInternet in our lifeinfluence of TV or advertisement on TVShould old people live with their childrenFailureAdverse influence of TV(internet)on teenagersFaked productsPiracyin chinaComputer game
现象法:对某种社会现象,倾向,或问题进行分析,首先提出现象,再展开评论.
1.One of pressing/interesting/serious common----problems/questions/issues/phenomenon
2.According to a new study/ recent poll,more and more people begin to attach much importance to1
3.One of the biggest issues/ hottest topics/ most popular things/ most serious problems
4.With the(rapid/ marked/ amazing)development(improvement/ expansion/increase/
growth/ decline in….), more and more people begin to attach much importance to象.适用的话题有: going abroadpart-time jobjob-huntingjob-hoppingjuvenile
crimeunemploymentpollutioncorruptionenergy crisisinflationoverpopulationbirth controlfaked products
piracycomputer gamegeneration gap
三,提问法(可以同争议法相结合使用)
通过提问一个或一连串的问题,可以激发读者的兴趣,从而引出主题。
1.Is part-time job necessary to the college students? Different people may hold different
opinion to this question.Those who criticize/object to/ oppose it argue
that__________________.They believe that____________________.The reasons are as
follows.Firstly…………..Secondly,………..As a result…………
But people who advocate /favor it , on the other hand, maintain that
___________________.The reasons are as follows.For one thing, ……For
another,……Perhaps the most important(the main, fundamental, primary)reason is
that…………
As for me, it has both advantages and disadvantages.(或从中间选一种观
提问法框架结构
Should…….? Attitudes towards/opinion of…..vary widely/greatly from person to person.Those who criticize/object to/ oppose it argue that__________________.They believe
that____________________.The reasons are as follows.Firstly…………..Secondly,………..As a result…………
But people who advocate /favor it , on the other hand, maintain that
another,……Perhaps the most important(the main, fundamental, primary)reason is
that…………Therefore,……….As for me, it has both advantages and disadvantages.(或从中间选一种观
适用的话题有:should doctor tell lie to patients?Why people choose to go to college?Should SARS patients be isolated?Is euthanasia necessary and legal?
五,综合法
段落展开句型
如何展开段落十分关键,将提纲中的主题句的内容结合起来
原因结果句型:
There are probably three(several)reasons(causes)for this dramatic(marked ,significant)increase(decline, growth, change)in………First,……Second,………Third,……… As
result,………
Why have(did, are)………? For one thing, ……For another,……Perhaps the most
important(the main, fundamental, primary)reason is that…………, therefore,…………(or: one reason is that ………Another reason is that………Maybe the most important
reason is that……)
3)A number of factors/reasons can contribute to(lead to;result in;account for)the
change(increase;success;failure)of ……First,……Second,………Third,………
比较对照句型:
1.There are many advantages in/of……First,……Second,………Third,………
Just as everything has two sides, it also has many disadvantages.For example,………
2.There are many advantages in/of……First,……Second,………Third,………
But is it all good? When it comes to the disadvantages, the advantages gained in……are
often offset/ counterbalanced by the problems it entailed.一些在写作过程中常用的句子
1.表示原因
1)There are three reasons for this.2)The reasons for this are as follows.1)It has the following advantages.2)It does us a lot of good.3)It is great benefit to us.3.表示坏处
1)It has more disadvantages than advantages.2)It does us much harm.3)It is harmful to us.e.g.However, everything divides into two.Television can also be harmful to us.It can do harm to our health and make us lazy if we spend too much time watching television.表示重要、必要、困难、方便、可能
1)It is important(necessary, difficult, convenient, possible)for sb.to do sth.3)It plays an important role in our life.e.g.Computers are now being used everywhere, whether in the government, in schools or in business.Soon, computers will be found in every home, too.We have good reason to say that computers are playing an increasingly important role in our life and we have stepped into the Computer Age.5.表示措施
1)We should take some effective measures.2)We should try our best to overcome(conquer)the difficulties.6.表示变化
1)Some changes have taken place in the past five years.2)The computer has brought about many changes in education.7.表示事实、现状
1)We cannot ignore the fact that +从句
e.g.We cannot ignore the fact that industrialization brings with it the problems of pollution.To solve these problems, we can start by educating the public about the hazards of
pollution.The government on its part should also design stricter laws to promote a cleaner environment.1)Compared with A,B…
e.g.Compared with cars, bicycles have several advantages besides being affordable.Firstly, they do not consume natural resources of petroleum.Secondly, they do not cause the pollution problem.Last but not least, they contribute to people’s health by giving them due physical exercise.11.表示结论
1)From what has been mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that…
e.g.From what has been mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that
examination is necessary, however, its method should be improved.12.套语
1)It’s well known to us that…
2)As is known to us,….3)From the graph(table, chart)listed above,it can be seen that…
结论段的写作
结论一般采用归纳概括、主题重述或提建议等方式。
综合法
1.From what has been discussed above, we may safely/reasonably draw(come to, reach)the conclusion that it is necessary(essential;important)that effective(quick;proper)action(measure;regards)should be taken to end(correct;fight)the situation(tendency;phenomenon)now.For one thing,…….For another,…….If we(ignore/ are blind to / fail to learn the lesson/ the warning),we would pay a heavy price/ come to no good end/ end in failure.(后果性)We may have a long way to go before we reach the final destination.But once we are on the way, the chance to reach it is greater.(方向性)
第二篇:中考语文作文高分满分写作模式及例文(范文)
中考语文高分写作模式及例文
距离中考越来越近,今天给大家推荐几种中考阅卷老师偏爱的记叙文写作模式,趁着时间还够,赶快学一种等考试时用吧。
一、记叙文写作模式
第一种:层层深入式(最常见的模式)结构:“入——递(若干段)——合” 首段,开门见山入题; 二段,概括事件; 三段,时间开始; 四段,事件发展; 五段,事件高潮; …… 尾段,照应开头。
例文:“五块钱成交”
警察局拍卖脚踏车,出现了一个离奇的场面。
由于警察局寻回的失物往往无人认领,或者物主提出证据后又放弃不要,因此,警察局的贮物室里收藏的物品真是琳琅满目,令人惊奇。那里有各式各样的东西:照相机、立体声扬声器、电视机,工具箱和汽车收音机等。这些无人认领的东西,每年一次以拍卖方式出售,去年密苏里州堪萨斯市警察局的拍卖中,就有大批的脚踏车出售。
第一辆脚踏车开始竞投,拍卖员问谁愿意带头出价时,站在最前面的一个男孩说:“5块钱。”这个小男孩大约只有10岁,或12岁。“已经有人出五块钱”,你出十块好吗?好,十块,谁出十五块?”叫价持续下去,拍卖员回头看一下前边那个小男孩,可他没还价。稍后,轮到另一辆脚踏车开投。那男孩又出5块钱,但不再加价。跟着几辆脚踏车也是这样叫价出售。那男孩每次总是出价五块钱,从不多加,不过,五块钱的确太少。那些脚踏车都卖到35或40块钱,有的甚至一百出头。
暂停休息时,拍卖员问那男孩为什么让那些上好的脚踏车给人家买去,而不出较高价竞争。男孩说,他只有5块钱。拍卖恢复了:还有照相机,收音机和更多脚踏车要卖出。那男孩还是给每辆脚踏车出5块钱,而每一辆总有人出价比他高出很多。现在,聚集的观众开始注意到那个首先出价的男孩,他们开始察觉到会有什么结果。
经过漫长的一个半小时后,拍卖快要结束了。但是还剩下一辆脚踏车,而且是非常棒的一辆,车身光亮如新,有10个排档,69厘米车轮,双位手煞车,杠式变速器和一套电动灯光装置。拍卖员问:“有谁出价吗?”这时,站在最前面,几乎已失去希望的小男孩轻声地再说一遍:“5块钱”。拍卖员停止唱价。只是停下来站在那里。观众也静坐着默不作声。没有人举手,也没有人喊出第二个价。直到拍卖员说:“成交!5块钱卖那个穿短裤和球鞋的小伙子。”观众于是纷纷鼓掌。
那小男孩拿出握在汗湿拳头里揉皱的五块钱钞票,买了那辆无疑是世界上最漂亮的脚踏车时,他脸上露出了从未有过的美丽的光辉。
简评
这种层层深入式,有时间先后,是一环套一环,直到你的感情不由自主地陷进去,为他欢喜为他忧。
第二种:内容并列式(比较常见的模式,也可称“橱窗展览式”)结构:“入——并(若干段)——合” 首段,概括性开头,直接入题。二段,并列内容段A 三段,并列内容段B 四段,并列内容段C 五段,并列内容段D ……
尾段,抒情、议论,照应开头。
例文:拒绝平庸
奋笔疾书,我是一名平庸的考生。似乎是铁的事实,高考是我们走出平庸的一个跳板。一、五只粽子
昨天是端午节。清晨,碎碎的晨光落了一地。我睁着惺忪的睡眼,一切都是那么地美好。伴着淡淡的清香,妈妈为我准备了早餐——五只粽子。我狼吞虎咽,吃了四个,实在吃不下了。
“赶紧把最后一个吃完!”妈妈吼道。
“我吃不下了。”我打着饱嗝。
“吃不下也要把最后一个吃完!”妈妈边说边强迫我,“你不知道,吃五个粽子就意味着五门高中。”
原来因为“粽”与“中”谐音。可怜的屈原啊,您大概不会想到原本为了纪念您的粽子却成了我们的文化“吉祥物”吧?请原谅我吧,我只是一名平庸的考生,我要通过高考拒绝我的平庸呢。二、一只鸽子
中午,没有喧闹,没有汽笛,很安静。但是,妈妈谋杀了和平!
妈妈买了一只鸽子,准备给我炖汤喝。妈妈说她听别人讲,高考前吃鸽子有好处。
可怜的鸽子,你是否是那个衔着橄榄枝的和平使者;你是否正浴着夕阳的余晖在广场上悠闲散步觅食;你是否是那只“咕咕”起飞向往绿色与和平的鸽子呢?
可怜的“天然之子”鸽子啊,请原谅我吧,我只是一名平庸的考生,我还要通过高考拒绝我的平庸呢。
要怪,你就怪那些乱造谣言、糟蹋绿色的人吧。三、一棵树
傍晚时分,金色的夕阳给校园镀上一层金辉。
看完了考场,我正欲回家,路过一棵树,但这并不是普通的树,这里香火萦绕,这是一棵“神树”。
妈妈硬是拉着我烧上一炷香。我毕恭毕敬,生怕打扰它的清梦。
亲爱的树啊,你既不是佛祖参悟众生的菩提,你也与佛道没有任何关系。我赞美你的绿荫,赞美你的清新,但你需要的只是平凡地生长、只是一块可以扎根的寻常土地,你是否“承载”了太多?
亲爱的树啊,请原谅我吧,我只是一名平庸的考生,我要通过高考来拒绝我的平庸呢。因为平庸,我们拒绝平庸;但如此“拒绝”,我们是否真的不平庸了?
简评
本文独树一帜,构思精巧。作者从文化、生态、人生负载三个角度,选取三个片断,既相对独立,又一脉相连,紧扣“拒绝平庸”的主题,或叙或议,叙议结合,在看似“平庸”中“拒绝平庸”,充分体现了作者的机智与胆识。
第三种:引人深思式(也可称“领悟式”)
结构:“入——事(三两段)——理(一段)——合”
领悟就是对所叙写的人、事、景、物有深刻的感受,进而从中悟出深刻的道理。
注意!这里面理不可写多,不能与事平分秋色,否则让人难分是记叙文还是议论文了,易被人认为是“四不像”的文章!
有个学生在作文中写道:考历史时,有道题考某一事件的年代,他忘了,又想起曾在课桌上写了这一事件的年代,于是慢慢移动试卷,在移动试卷的过程中、他展开了激烈的思想斗争,快下考时,他大着胆子移开试卷,一看,没有,才恍然大悟,原来坐的是别人的课桌!失望之际,心情一下子倒觉轻松起来。结尾他写道:“铃响了,虽然那一个空没有填,但我觉得没填比填了更好。”
无疑,作者对这件事的感受是深刻的,但我们是否可以从中悟出更具普遍性的道理呢?比如,我们可以加上这样一句:“——得到某种东西的同时,不能失去比这更珍贵的东西。”如果不加这一句,只能使人感到,学生应该遵守考场纪律,做人要光明正大等等。加了这一句,就会使人领悟到:除了要注意自身的品德修养之外,在对待他人、社会、自然等方面,不也同样要懂得珍惜你拥有的最珍贵的东西吗?
由此可见,感悟,可以使笔下具体的人、事、景、物焕发出哲理的光彩,从而拨动读者的心弦,并给人以思想的启迪。也可以用下面5或6段来安排: 首段,以议论或引用名言开头 二段,叙述事件发生、发展 三段,详写核心部分 四段,……
第五,阐述事理,抒发感想。尾段,照应开头或引申
例文:这也是课堂
别以为只有坐在教室里,听老师滔滔不绝的讲课,那才是课堂,其实,生活中处处都有大大小小、形形色色的课堂。
那天早上,我应朋友之邀到他家中做客。朋友家中养了一只威猛的大黑狗,那狗膘肥体壮,差不多有一米多长,朋友躺在沙发上,并示意我坐下。没料到,我刚坐下,那狗便对我“汪汪”狂吠起来。朋友见我有些惊慌,便对那狗喊了几嗓子:“趴下,这是我朋友,不准叫!”那狗瞪了我一眼,“呜——呜”哼了几声,便不做声了。朋友安慰我:“别管那笨狗,我们说我们的。”
我与朋友谈得很投机。那狗也趴在朋友身边,时不时蹭蹭主人的脚,还做出一些怪动作,逗得朋友哈哈大笑。朋友一时兴起,对那狗喊道“趴下”、“打滚”,那狗不厌其烦的一会儿趴下,一会儿打滚。我看着有趣,走近那狗,冲它喊到:“打滚。”那狗动也不动,理也不理,我又喊了几遍,它还是无动于衷。我急了,走上前去用力拍拍它的头:“趴下。”那狗不但不听,反而冷不丁咬了我一口。我又气又恼:“死狗,我和你主人都是人,怎么听他的不听我的呢?”朋友仿佛看出了我的心思,便随手从桌子上递给我一盘火腿肠,让我再试一试。我将火腿肠在那狗头上晃了晃,那狗“呼”的一下爬起来,我拿起一小片火腿肠在狗鼻子前晃了晃,高声喊道“打滚”,那狗看看我,又看看那火腿肠,咽了咽口水,乖乖在地上打了一个滚。我笑了,朋友也在一旁哈哈大笑。我又拿了几片火腿肠喂那狗,结果,那狗温顺地蹭蹭我的腿,在地上连打了好几个滚。朋友笑得更开心了,我却一下子觉得索然无味。我把火腿肠全部倒在地上,那狗一下子扑过来舔舔我的手,然后摇头晃脑吃起来。我坐在沙发上,看朋友那开心的样子也笑了笑,但我心里却是酸酸的。我明白了,那狗对我态度的转变原来都是因了那盘火腿肠。可悲啊!区区几片火腿,就让原本凶猛的狗丧失了骨气,对人类百般谄媚起来。也许有人会说:“宠物嘛,总会有那么一点点的……”是啊,没有骨气的支撑,再凶猛、再强壮的狗也只配给我们当宠物。
狗是如此,人也一样。看看我们周围,不乏像狗一样活着的人,他们为了金钱、权力,不惜以骨气为代价向自己的主子摇尾乞怜,对主子的话唯命是从,他们哪里知道,“骨气”是多少金钱、多大的权力都换不来的啊!一个没有骨气的人,就只能永远趴在地上,做别人的奴隶。
离开朋友家的时候,那大黑狗摇头摆尾送我到门边,我拍拍它的头,心中充满了怜悯和惆怅,说实在的,我挺感谢朋友和眼前这只大黑狗,朋友的家就是一个大课堂,狗就是一本无字的教科书,它给我上了既生动形象、又深刻难忘的一课。
第四种:扇屏展开式(也可称“扇屏式”,最后一段是扇轴)结构:“并——并——并……合” 首段,表现中心并列段A 二段,表现中心并列段B 三段,表现中心并列段C 四段,表现中心并列段D 五段,……
尾段,总结中心、揭示哲理等。
例文:平凡的感动
清晨,一缕阳光透过窗子,叫醒沉睡的我。呵!阳光满室。房间里的一切都被温暖的金色拥抱,悦耳的鸟鸣已在屋中流响。没想到,在经历了一夜的苦雨孤灯,阳光竟不期而至。小小的感动在心中流淌,我听到露珠升华的微笑。
黄昏,枯叶悠悠从树上飘落,天边的余辉还未散去,云且留驻,我要躲进白云深处,逃避那一点一滴如桂花般闲落的忧伤,似乎没有理由,却又难以驱散。叮咚的铃声忽地送来朋友来信,亲切的话语,温柔的慰安,竟让干涸的眼泪流出,那份感动已刻在不泯的三生石上,永远铭记。
夜凉如水,仰望星空,遥遥相对。寂寞的云影伴着孤独的月亮跳起天音的共舞,手中的笔渐渐冰凉。蓦然抬头,桌角竟多了杯热腾腾的茶;当冰凉的手指触到温暖的杯壁,那小小的热量所带来的感动,已将心灵的坚冰融化。“谁言寸草心,报得三春晖”不愧朽的母爱所拥有的感动将传承永世。
当我不断接受着来自自然、友情、亲情的恩赐,我也尽力地为我身边的人带来感动。朋友生日,一个亲手编制的中国结,使我们的心紧紧结在一起;母亲节,一束问候的康乃馨,让刚强的母亲眼里有了潮湿;面对跌倒在地的同学,“爬起来再走”,让伙伴坚强地重新屹立……
不要小看这些平凡的感动,它是生活中希望的源泉;不要在乎生命中的缺少辉煌,人生的境界在于付出,不论是高,还是低,只要在生命的蓝天里飞到极至,便是最好。
也许你是青石墙下那凋落的向日葵花瓣,但你接受了自然的感动,便会发出灼灼的生命光焰;也许你是干荷叶上的小蚂蚁,眺望着天上的白云,但既接受了生命的感动,就能负起几倍身体重量的担子!
感动于爱你的人,给你爱的人感动,你的生命将会是绚丽的火花,平凡而美丽。
简评
本文前四段为并列记叙的四个“扇面”层次,后三小段为感慨总结的“扇轴”层次,即前面写几个并列记叙段,最后来个结尾的议论抒情段,易于行文。
如果我们的考场作文能够使用如上模式,在考试中就能够快速构思、行文,不会出现比较明显的失分处。有一定的作文基础就能够得到评分标准中的二类文。因为这样的作文,给阅卷老师的印象是:开头简洁,层次清楚,条理分明,首尾呼应。一般优秀作文的优点几乎全具备了。
当然,这种给作文以一定模式的提法,会遭到一些人的反对,其实我们说的“五段法”,只是对作文规律的粗浅总结,如果平时的作文中我们使用它,那就会使作文很早就能在较高层次上发展。
这里必须提醒的是:对“六段”的理解可分为“狭义”“广义”两种。“狭义”指把“六段”理解为文章中的自然段,这是为了便于操作。如果作文想往高层次发展,这“六段”可以理解为文章中的意义段,这是“广义六段”。这样就能够沿着作文发展的规律发展,即从“无格”到“有格”,最后到形成结合自己个性的“出格”。
记叙文写作要点
总要求:立意新深,蕴含丰富,记事生动,状景生辉,抒情动人。
1、要写自己最熟悉的,不要轻易虚构编造。编造的往往是想当然的人和事,太简单,不可能有生动的细节,鲜活的场景,难感人;再说,大段或整篇的虚构,你的年龄、经历、学识还不能胜任,往往捉襟见肘,多有漏洞却不自觉,常常是自己觉得成立,人家却看出不真实甚至看成了笑话,本想文章感人,结果是南辕北辙。
2、要轻情节叙述而重情景描写,不要在过程上折腾,千万不要在漫长单调的情节叙述中追逐得瘦骨嶙峋,要善于精选一两个、两三个“点” ——生动鲜活的情景,或富于魅力的细节,去描写得血肉丰满,并且一定要在感人之处泼墨如洗,非感人之处惜墨如金。
3、要能激起感情波澜或能引发理性思考,也不要只是记叙,不妨结合记叙的人事再有些抒情与议论。
记叙文构思
1、立意新颖深刻
立意就是确定文章的中心或主题,要做到深刻,就要仔细审题,推敲材料,善于由少见多、以小见大,善于联系实际探究本质,见他人之所未见。
例文借鉴:往上走,往下走
一扇厚厚的铁门“不合时宜”地成了这个单元的守门神。可惜的是没人对它有好感。
我从此得多拿一把钥匙,提着满篮子菜的家庭主妇只得停下步子,放下菜篮子,然后开门;老婆婆面对这扇门好像面对一座山;夜归人得摸黑掏钥匙……
好似所有的矛盾都由这扇忠实尽职的铁门引起,它委屈地承受着种种埋怨。不过,一件小事总算使它的名声好了一点。一位老婆婆因提的东西太多而无法开门,刚好下楼的小伙子从里面开门后帮着老婆婆提了重物。此后,老婆婆逢人便说:“多亏了那伙子,也因为那门呀!” 原来真正的不方便还另有原因。假如两人一起走到楼梯口,谁先去开门?假如两人一前一后下楼,走在前的是不是开门后等着后面的呢?假如哪一次谁忘了关门,是怪张三还是李四?存在不便,存在抱怨,其实是因为人们缺乏交往,缺少因交往而产生的好感,感激,信任,体贴……
从那以后,人们可能有所思,有所悟,有所改变。
一天早晨,我正急急地走下楼,从楼层的缝隙间瞥见一位阿姨也在往下走。我不由放慢了脚步,心想还是慢点走吧,免得碰到。等我埋头走到一楼时,见几步之遥的她正一手撑着铁门一面微笑着说:“快来,别迟到了。”我心中不禁涌起一阵感动,连谢都忘了说。
楼道中来往的人们也渐渐形成了习惯,两人一起走到楼梯口,都会主动掏钥匙;走在前面的一定会给走在后面的留门,然后一起有说有笑地走过楼道;如果谁忘了关门,后面的人不再高声责问:哪一个只生了前手没生后手!于是,钢筋水泥的丛林里有了温情。于是,门与门框的碰撞声成了音乐。
我喜欢上了这扇铁门,甚至有些羡慕它。因为,它见证了楼道中人情的温暖正在一点一点地销蚀门上的锈迹,并使它熠熠生辉。
简评
文章所写是一般人不会写到的楼道里的一扇铁门,围绕这扇既给人带来安全,又给人带来麻烦的铁门,写出了楼道里的人们由冷漠对立到温情交住的变化。正因“化大为小”和“以小见大”,使文章内容的新颖;文中对比,文末的议论抒情,又增添了文章主题的深刻。不得不信:司空见惯的“琐小”中,也能提炼出新颖深刻的立意来。记叙文才容易出彩。
2、选材精真新小
选材要讲四个追求:一要精,二要真,三要新,四要小。
所谓精,就是要选择具有代表性、典型性的材料,即选择能够反映事物本质,表现人物精神的材料。
所谓真,就是选择真实准确的材料,即选择自己有切实经历或感受的材料。只有真,才能写出真情、真知,才能写得具体生动,才能令人信服。
所谓新,就是选择新颖的材料———生活中的新鲜事,或者老素材的新发现;而且还要力求选择生动的材料,材料本身新鲜生动,文章也就容易写得活泼新颖。
应杜绝模式化、规律化的选材倾向,写老师总牵扯到“蜡烛”,写爱心总离不开“希望工程”或让座,写成功总想到爱迪生、爱因斯坦、张海迪……诸如此类,使人读之生厌。新颖的材料是记叙文获得高分的基本条件。
所谓小,就是选择能够表现主题、刻画人物的小事,以小见大,用一滴水来反映太阳的光辉。切入的角度宜小不宜大,选小一点,容易把话说清楚。
例文借鉴:与你为邻
你,我的同桌,我最好的朋友。
此前,我从来没觉得我们之间有什么不同。
我们一起生活在这个高楼林立的繁华城市里,一起在公交站台等车,一起在绿茵场上驰骋,一起倾听啦啦队女生的尖叫,一起讨论巴萨vs国米;一起研究编程算法,一起约好报考深大计算机专业,一起梦想着有一天我们共同开发的网站像youtube那样在纳斯达克挂牌上市…… 你高大健硕,眉宇间透出一股俊秀,班上的女生悄悄给你取了个外号——“小柏原崇”,而我却只得了个“许三多”的美称,说实在的,我还真有点嫉妒。你的学习成绩虽然在班上不是最好的,但在球队,你是最好的,教练经常拿你当作榜样来训斥其他队员,用他带着方言的普通话说:“要想踢比赛,首先学习成绩要好,进入大学里,会有更多的比赛机会。”末了总不忘补上一句:“像某某同学那样,踢球学习两不误。”
我最忘不了的是去年那件让我烦恼的事,我生病了,尿血,是你旷课把我送到深圳友谊医院的结石科去。当时数学课正上到复数这一章节,是期末考试的重点和难点。每天下课之后你都会来到医院看我,把你做好的课堂笔记给我看,第一次翻开笔记的时候我很感动,从没见你这么认真的做过笔记,几乎是把一节课上老师所说的每个字都记录了下来……
直到高考前那最紧张的一个月,你却忽然说你要回安徽老家。按规定,考生必须回原籍地参加高考,你说会放弃报考深大,因为深大在老家的招生人数较少,另外安徽的学习环境,使用教材与深圳不同,犹豫再三,还是决定放弃。
今天,我们会同时走进考场,为自己的明天书写一份答卷,不同的是,我在深圳,而你在陌生的老家。
我知道,在深圳还有很多很多像你一样的同学,他们的父母,和所有深圳人一样,用自己辛勤的汗水推动着城市发展,他们同样拥有这个城市的光荣与梦想,彼此为邻,相互依存。然而他们却要比我们承受的更多,不情愿却又不得不成为“高考移民”的一员,并为此放弃心仪的学校,使梦想走得更远……
我祝福你,我的朋友,我们的邻居,那些千千万万的农民工和他们的孩子们。
简评
一、这篇作文是在用心去感悟生活,是一种发自内心的真实感受,从多角度对生活的观察,多生活的了解,融入了一些青春色彩,完全达到题目的要求;
二、文章的语言生动,语句通顺没有前后矛盾,没有故作深沉的装腔作势,有铺垫,有悬念,有转折,有升华,末尾点题,语句表达生动,亮点频现;
三、文章的思维独特,逻辑严密,从自己的一个个切身感受通过剥洋葱的形式慢慢展开,引发人对社会现象的思考,立意上有相当的高度;
四、感情真实抒发了该考生对生活中的人、物、事的真实感触、能打动人心;
五、有健康的价值观,分寸把握到位,表达出自己健康的情感,使文章赋有灵魂。根据以上几点,该作文是一篇难得的优秀作文,以自己独特的视觉精准的抓住“与你为邻”这个命题,所以给了满分。
3、构思别出心裁
切入和截取都应有讲究。切入:对于同一个材料,同一件事情要从不同的角度来审视,然后再选择一个最佳的角度着笔,不落旧套,使人耳目一新。
记叙文有“六要素”,即时间、地点、人物、事件的起因、经过和结果。写作中,六个要素要做到有详有略,有所侧重,不能平均用力。一般地说,详写的部分就是重点部分,是体现中心的关键所在。详写有时会像电影特写镜头一样,把事物的细枝末节进行放大,让读者看到细微之处。详略处理不当,会影响或冲淡中心的表达。
例文借鉴:拒绝平庸
“咯咯咯……”刚进家门,便被一阵嘹亮的鸡鸣吸引。
考试时我可是个国宝,每周杀一只鸡是少不了的。我走进卫生间,准备看一眼这个遇难者。他是一只不普通的鸡。
浑身乌亮,却又透着光泽,不似那些灰黄的土鸡。他的尾翅长而整齐,黑色的羽毛中点缀着些红,像个神气的黑将军,配着红缨,更显英武。不过任他再有能耐,等待他的还是斩首。想到这里,我有些为他惋惜,这只野鸡本该在森林、草原上过着自由的生活。
他看我进来,安静了会儿,似打量着我,却不同于其它的鸡,只缩着脖子,逆来顺受之样。
他开始挣扎,尽管双腿被绑,他还是尽力迈开步子、扑着双翅,在卫生间里上蹿下跳。奋力一跃,前行一大步,想快跑时又被绳子带倒。躺在地上休息一会儿,又起来,做好冲刺的姿势,准备新一次失败。
黑将军啊黑将军,认命吧!还是和其它的鸡一般,接受现实,庸庸常常地享受一下生命中最后的安宁吧,何必如此费力不讨好呢?我叹息一声,退出房间。…… 正看书的我,听到一声凄切的长鸣。我知道妈妈对它下手了,看来它是逃不过此劫的。却不想传来一句:“儿子,快帮我逮鸡,它溜掉了。”好家伙,有一手啊!从没听说过有鸡能逃过这割喉一刀的。我跑向厨房。
黑将军站在厨台上,威风地看着我,腿上绳子早已挣开。他发出得意的鸣叫,高亢、响亮、清脆,倒有一种虎啸山林之势。但这小小的厨房中,他又能逃向何处呢?我逼近他。他挑衅地看我一眼,向着窗户纵身一跃,跳了下去。果然,他不是一只平庸的鸡。
我俯在窗边,看他黑色的身影,从容、优雅地滑翔,在林立的高楼中这一抹黑显得格外引人注目。麻雀为自己灰白的羽毛而羞愧,燕子因自己柔弱的身躯而脸红。他好似雄鹰,华丽地飞翔、降落,悠闲地离开。
妈妈还在催促我下楼去追。而我脑海中却浮现出他此前的身影:出众的外貌,漂亮的黑羽。他不同于寻常野鸡,临终前,拒绝与同伴一般等待死亡。他选择挣扎,更不同于麻木的家鸡。厨房中响亮的长鸣,绝美的一跃,为他赢得了生的机会。
他以置之死地而后生的拼搏,拒绝了平庸,超越了平凡。他属于自然。他本该离去。对于他,我只有敬意。
简评
有一种生机勃勃的文学感觉,跳荡在自信而稍有幽默的文字中,是“放胆作文”,也是“智巧作文”。文章情节明快,切入题意亦独具慧心——在某种情形下,平庸等于“等死”。于是,此文亦“置之死地而后生”,在不同寻常的取材中,显示了意匠和才思。
4、情节曲折起伏
文似看山不喜平,平铺直叙的文章缺乏吸引力和感染力。这就要注意设置悬念,创造冲突,抑扬变化,合理逆转,使文章生动有味。
(1)悬念法,即设置疑团,借以激发读者的阅读兴趣。通俗地说,它是在情节发展中设置谜面,使读者产生急切的期盼心理,然后在适当的时机揭开谜底。
例文借鉴:雪天,有这么一个故事 冬天来了,雪花如鹅毛般飘飞。
清晨,无事的我漫步在大街上,感觉到很冷。
前天,市里下令:无论在哪一个角落里所张贴的种种广告单、宣传单等等,统统都要清除干净。由于这个原因,市里所有的清洁工都出动,开始全面清洁这个本来就很美丽的城市。我看着满天大雪飞舞着,看着一帮清洁工忙碌着。
无意间,我发现对面的一堵光滑的墙上贴了几张宣传单之类的纸,一位年老的女清洁工正在那里小心翼翼地撕着那些纸。看来,那些纸很难撕尽,那位女清洁工用沾过水的刷子在那些纸上刷了刷,然后再用手细心地撕。
我想,她的手肯定是冰凉的,但她不怕冷,她的心里有火。她很认真,连续清除了好几张纸。她又走到另一张跟前。
但是,我看到,她的右手举起来,这只手却停在了空中,似乎定格了。又见她身子往墙面靠近了些。接着,我又看见她微微地摇了摇头。怎么了,发生了什么事?我奇怪。
只见她专心看了一会儿,便缓缓离开了那张纸,没有清除它。为什么不清除它?她忘了市里的规定吗? 一串串的疑问在我脑中浮起。
那好吧,我倒要过去看个究竟,我想。
我正要起步,却见另一个瘦小的女清洁工走近那张纸。她的举动竟和那个老清洁工一模一样:举起右手,定格在空中;微微地摇了摇头;专心地看一会儿,缓缓地离开。我更加疑惑了,下定决心去看看。
过了马路,来到那堵墙前面。映入我眼帘的,是一张寻 人启事。那上面写着:赵洁,女,14岁…… 疑窦冰释,我终于明白了一切。
雪花还如鹅毛般飘飞,但我不再觉得冷了……
简评
文章悬念设置得巧妙。一名清洁工“右手举起来,这只手却停在了空中,似乎定格了”,“微微地摇了摇头”,“缓缓离开了那张纸,没有清除它”,这是为什么?另一个瘦小的女清洁工“举动竟和那个老清洁工一模一样”,又是为什么?看得出作者善于谋篇布局。正因为如此,文章才扣人心弦,引人入胜,道出了人间真情的美好。故事发生在普通人的身上,更让人感受到真情的可贵。语言质朴而又蕴藉,诸如“她的心里有火”、“我不再觉得冷了”很有味道,值得细品。巧设悬念可以引起读者的急切期待,吸引读者去寻求谜底,从而有效的增强文章的吸引力;利用误会可以使文章生波澜,有起伏,多跌宕,吸引人。
(2)巧合法
(3)误会法,借助人物之间的各种误会造成一定的矛盾冲突,进而铺排情节。
(4)抑扬法,如《琐忆》就是先抑后扬。作者回忆鲁迅开始使用了抑笔,说鲁迅“多疑”、“世故”、“脾气大”、“不容易接近”等等;文章往下的回忆,则逐一解除了先前的这种误解,推翻了听来的别人的议论。(5)陡转法(6)虚实法
可分为避实就虚与避虚就实两法。所谓“实”,是指实在地写出具体的现实生活中的人、事、景、物、情、理;“虚”指抽象地写,重在调动读者的想象,或侧面烘托,或间接垫衬,多为抽象的表现,它能跳出现实的束缚,通过创设情境,运用隐喻、象征等手法,为读者留下广阔的想象空间。虚写与实写,是相反相成、相辅相生的。在这种辩证关系中,虚因实而更见其抽象,能启发读者驰骋想象而获得更高的艺术美的感受;实因虚更见其具体,能使直接的描写更显得气氛浓烈、背景开阔、包孕丰富。(7)相错法
从记叙的顺序安排上看,主要有顺叙、倒叙、插叙、补叙;从记叙的表达方法上看,主要有详叙、略叙,直叙、婉叙;若叙述的事件比较复杂,还要用到总叙、分叙、平叙、间叙的方法等等。
第三篇:申论写作高分技巧及模式
申论议论文文体写作格式
一、总分式格式: 标题(12字左右)引论------------------------。(点明主题、根据主题、上升主题)(300字)本论------------------------。(说明原因)(100字)------------------------------(过渡句)(50字)-------(措施).具体方法步骤,重要措施要从制定原因目的意义,加以论证.---------------.(700)结论--------.重申问题及解决意义,发出号召或希望.(150)(以上以1200字为例)
二、分总式(平行)格式: 主标题(12字左右)引论------------------。(点明主题、根据主题、上升主题,重点点明要论述的类型.如:措施存在问题及原因意义等)(300字)本论 分标题(1)分标题(2)分标题(3).(700字)结论-------.重申问题,发出号召或希望.(150)(以上以1200字为例)
三、递进式格式: ?标题(12字左右)?引论--------------------------。(点明主题、根据主题、上升主题)(300字)?本论------------------------(过渡句)(50字)--.(700字)?结论-----------------------.重申问题及解决意义,发出号召或希望.(150 ?(以上以1200字为例)
申论答题万能模式
一、概括总结的基本套路和句式
一般而言,一个全面完整的概括主要由三个部分构成:总述(对材料所反映情况的一个概述);分述(对材料中反映出来的内容进行并列式或递进式的陈述);抽象概括(对材料的主旨和反映的深层次问题进行升华和发挥。
(一)如何提炼总括句
总括一句话,高度概括全文主要内容和主要问题。句式模型为:(1)“这篇材料谈到了一个……的题”,中间可以加的修饰语包括“社会各界都关注的”,“目前所面临的”。(2)“这是一篇关于主语+事件或行为的文体。”其中,主语是文章涉及的主要任务的姓名或所涉主要单位名称。文体是指所给材料的文章体裁,如新闻报道、调查报告、工作总结、讲话、案例等。多数时候是案例。事件是指主语的动作或状态,也可理解为事件的某个阶段。对于个别文章会有一件核心事件,就只需要以该事件作为定语就够了。如“这是一篇关于纯净水广告论战的报道”。
(二)分述
就是要把总括句里涉及的内容,根据并列或递进关系分条分类地整理出来。这时候,可以根据材料的具体情况采用不同的方法和套路。
1.递进式分析法。对于那些以纵向思路和结构写的给定材料,也就是以时间上的阶段渐进性为序或逻辑上深入为序的文章,可以使用这种方法。如对一篇反映医药行业药价虚高情况的报道。生产厂家自己定价,中间商层层加价,医生或医院为了自身利益给病人开高价药,病人购买高价药品。这是按医药流通在时间和逻辑上的四个环节来分析的。
2.主体分析法。某个事件或行为可能有好几方的主体参与。在分述句里,我们可以从各方主体的角度进行分述答题。如汽车超载问题,就可以从各方主体的角度进行概括,包括治理部门、汽车车主、汽车制造商、修理商、地方政府等.3.关系分析法。有时候,一则材料中所涉及的事件是一环扣一环的,各个事件之间有明显的关系,这时就适用关系分析法。如关于我国9家彩电企业结盟限价销售彩电的一组材料。可以在关系链条上进行归纳:九家彩电企业深圳结盟之后,国家有关部门对此提出了质疑,专家认为价格联盟是变相垄断,消费者对此无动于衷,结盟商家内部意见也不统一,最终导致彩电限价失败。
4.分类分析法。对于一则材料所涉及的是不同类别的人事物,则可以进行分类表述。5.关键词分析法。对于给定的材料,有时我们会感到无处下笔进行概括。这时可以将文中出现频率高的词语罗列出来,然后结合文中事实或观点把它们串联起来。这只适用于基本功较弱者。
(三)抽象或升华
基本句式为“这个问题(这种情况)涉及……需要在制度上(体制,宏观调控等较高层次上)……”
二、提出对策的万能模型
问题有轻有重,有缓有急,如果是急性事件,提出对策是由近到远、先标后本、由微观到宏观;如果是慢性事件,提出对策的思路是由远到近、治标先治本、先宏观再微观。
(一)由近到远式
1.紧急状况的近期、微观和的对策,可以从不同的侧面和角度提出几条; 2.配套基础和硬件设施上;
3.思想观念上,领导重视,深化认识; 4.法律法规上的制定与完善
5、制度或体制上; 6.宣传教育上。(二)由远到近式
主要在顺序上作个调整,从宏观到微观,先本后标。比如首先从思想观念与制度更新上。
三、申论写作的三大模式
申论文章的写作可以按照三大模式来:总分式、三段式、层进式。
(一)总分式
先概括出总领句,先总说,再分说,结构上会显得更严谨些。分说可以从不同的主体或不同的立场或不同的角度进行分门别类地阐述.也可以从宏观上区分政治、经济、文化和社会各个层面.(二)层进式
对文章整体按照逻辑关系进行谋篇布局,步步展开,层层推进。一般是由表层进入深层,由现象进入本质。
(三)三段式:这是最普通的结构,先提出问题,再分析问题,最后解决问题。一个标准的范式,有破有立,述、评、析结合。
第四篇:雅思写作高分
雅思写作高分模板分享
本文由新航道雅思整理发布
目前最常见的雅思写作类型为分析型和一面倒类型,理所当然的也成为烤鸭们在雅思备考中练习最多的,下面是为烤鸭们准备好的模板,大家可以根据自己的喜好和特点选择适合自己的,并且能拿到高分的模板,祝烤鸭们考试顺利。
雅思写作高分模板|雅思作文高分模板一面倒
1.NO invention has received more praises and abuses than cars… Now there is a growing awareness over traffic safety.2.Although some people acclaim that… I am still prone to go along with the other side based on the following sound reasons.:
3.To embark on it, it comes as the first problem that...:
4.Should it remain unable to unfold my perspectives, it'll come as reinforcement that…
5.It is indisputable that nowhere in history has...been more visible.As far as I am
雅思写作高分模板|雅思作文高分模板分析型
1.Recently the...has been brought into focus...Nowhere in history has the issue been more visible.In this essay, I aim to explore this complicated phenomenon from diverse perspectives, identify the relevant contributing factors and bring up some effective measures.2.As far as I am concerned, an array of integrated factors contributes to the...The first role that should be blamed is...Another equally important factor lies in… Last but not least...:
3.As a matter of fact,...gives rise to a host of problems, such as...Confronted with such a thorny issue, people come up with a variety of constructive countermeasures.Personally, the following are worth recommendation...:
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第五篇:雅思写作高分
雅思写作大作文必看高分范文
TASK 2: 高分范文一
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment;only governments and large companies can make a difference.To what
do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about environmental protection and regard it as one of the most important challenges.However, whether only governments and big firms have resources and powers to preserve our environment is a controversial issue.My view is that every single citizen could also make a huge difference.In the first place, it is clear that it is human activities that have the greatest impact throughout the history.Both environment contamination and conservation are the long-term process, and no single government or big company can meet this challenge alone.So whoever created the problem should be responsible for solving it;environment protection needs every one of us to continuously participate in.Moreover, the public’s wills and behaviors have critical influence on government’s policies and companies’ strategies.For example, if everyone says “no” to plastic shopping bags and paper cups, the companies that manufacture such products will switch to environmental-friendly substitutes in order to survive in the market.However, that is not to say that governments and large companies cannot positively contribute.Indeed, governments can enact laws and introduce programs to raise the public’s low-carbon awareness;companies can promote green products to change the public’s consuming habits.But they also need every citizen’s appreciation and support to bring good results.In sum, no effort is too small when we are protecting the environment.Meanwhile, local authorities and organizations must shoulder their responsibility to develop low-carbon economy at the macro level.Only by doing so can we assure that we could hand this beautiful planet to our next generation and the next generation after.TASK 2: 高分范文二-----Argumentation
The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades.Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive.What are your opinions on this?
The Internet has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years.However, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of this technology has been positive or negative.While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that the benefits of the Internet far outweigh its drawbacks and these benefits are twofold.First of all, it is an indisputable fact that the Internet has revolutionized the way we communicate.Despite the risk of social isolation-a problem occasionally seen in people who spend too much time at their computer terminal rather than relating to people in the real world-most of us have benefited greatly from e-mails and Internet chat programs like MSN Messenger.These incredibly useful and powerful tools of communication facilitate both contact with loved ones in faraway places and global trade.Moreover, the Internet has placed the entire world(and all of the information in it)at our fingertips.In earlier times, conducting research entailed long hours searching library shelves.Now, however, the same information can be accessed at the click of a button.Admittedly, not all of the information available on the Internet is reliable or helpful-there is a vast amount of material online that some would consider offensive or dangerous, ranging from pornography to instructions on how to make bombs.Nonetheless, I would contend that this free flow of information has generally been a very positive development.By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the Internet has had a positive impact on modern life because of its influences on communication and the flow of information.TASK 2: 高分范文三-----Report
With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not close as they used to be.Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.Divorce and family breakdown were virtually unheard of just 100 years ago.Now, however, almost half of all marriages fail.This phenomenon is symptomatic of the growing distance between family members in modern society.In this essay, I intend to explore the sources of this problem along with some possible solutions to it.Chief among the causes of this problem is the modern lifestyle.Today’s parents have to work harder than those of previous generations to support their families.Traditionally, one parent assumed the role of breadwinner, while the other-typically the mother-acted as the homemaker.Recently, though, double income families have become the norm.Consequently, an increasing number of children now grow up in a parentless environment.Little wonder, then, that they feel alienated.Another contributing factor is the passive and solitary nature of many modern forms of entertainment.In order to solve this sense of alienation within families, I believe we must first address its root causes.Perhaps the most effective method of doing this would be for governments to offer financial incentives to parents who choose to remain at home and take care of their families.Admittedly, such incentives would probably not fully compensate couples for lost income;however, they would at least soften the hardship of living on a single income and provide an alternative for parents who would rather remain at home but are unable to do so because of financial constraints.One further measure would be to promote more interactive leisure activities in the community through public education campaigns.In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term.However, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.As a result of constant media attention, sports professionals in my country have become stars and celebrities, and those at the top are paid huge salaries.Just like movie stars, they live extravagant lifestyles with huge houses and cars.Many people find their rewards unfair, especially when comparing these super salaries with those of top surgeons or research scientists, or even leading politicians who have the responsibility of governing the country.However, sports salaries are not determined by considering the contribution to society a person makes, or the level of responsibility he or she holds.Instead, they reflect the public popularity of sport in general and the level of public support that successful stars can generate.So the notion of “fairness” is not the issue.While those who feel that sports stars’ salaries are justified might argue that the number of professionals with real talent are very few, and the money is a recognition of the skills and dedication a person needs to be successful.Competition is constant and a player is tested every time they perform in their relatively short career.The pressure from the media is intense and there is little privacy out of the spotlight.So all of these factors may justify the huge earnings.Personally, I think that the amount of money such sports stars make is more justified than the huge earnings of movie stars, but at the same time, it indicates that our society places more value on sport than on more essential professionals and achievements.In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing.Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on society?
In more and more developed countries we see the following trends: incomes rise, people get married later and have fewer kids.The result is the demographics change and the population ages.While having more old people sounds like a good thing(as they tend to be kind and warm-hearted), it can have a serious impact on economies and societies.Consider, for example, that in order for a country’s GDP to grow it needs to produce more goods and services each year.With an aging population and more people retiring, fewer are left to work, creating an economic hole.The result is that such countries have to rely on immigration to fill the gap and this is a less-than-desirable solution.Consider also, that as more people reach their twilight years they will face increasing health problems and this puts huge pressure on health care and other social programs.In most countries the government pays for at least some of the costs of health care, not to mention things like pensions, all of which means a big bill someone has to pay for.To be fair, however, we should be careful not to direct our anger towards old people themselves.Old people can still make contributions to society, whether it means helping look after grandchildren, working part time or even doing voluntary work.On an individual level, old people can be a real treasure.To sum up, governments should recognize the challenges of an aging society and take the appropriate action.But in addition to fixing the short-term impact of an older society, they should also look at the bigger picture and do their best so that in the future we have a better age balance.