TED演讲：如何成为一个更好的（共5则范文）

第一篇：TED演讲：如何成为一个更好的（共）

TED演讲

《如何成为一个更好的交谈者》

All right, I want to see a show of hands how many of you have unfriended someone on Facebook because they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food? And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don’t want to talk to them?

好的，我想让大家举手示意一下，有多少人曾经在Facebook上拉黑过好友，因为他们发表过关于政治，宗教，儿童权益，或者食物等，不恰当的言论，有多少人至少有一个不想见的人，因为你就是不想和对方说话？

You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”: Stick to the weather and your health.But these days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects—are not safe either.So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can’t speak to one another, and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it’s not normal.Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and t hey found that at this moment, we are more polarized;we are more divided than we ever have been in history.要知道，在过去想要一段礼貌的交谈我们只要遵循亨利﹒希金斯在《窈窕淑女》中的忠告，只谈论天气和你的健康状况就行了。但这些年随着气候变化以及反对疫苗运动的开展——这招不怎么管用了。因此，在我们生活的这个世界，这个每一次交谈，都有可能发展为争论的世界，政客无法彼此交谈，甚至为那些鸡毛蒜皮的事情。都有人群情绪激昂地赞成或者反对，这太不正常了。皮尤研究中心对一万名美国成年人做了一次调查，发现此刻我们的偏激程度，我们立场鲜明的程度，比历史上任何时期都要高。

We are less likely to compromise, which means we’re not listening to each other.And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be based on what we already believe.Again, that means we’re not listening to each other.A conversation requires a balance between talking and listing, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.Now, part of that is due to technology.The smartphones that you all either have in your hands or close enough that you could grab them really quickly.我们更不倾向于妥协，这意味着我们没有倾听彼此。我们做的各种决定，选择生活在何处，与谁结婚甚至和谁交朋友，都只基于我们已有的信念。再重复一遍，这只说明我们没有倾诉彼此。交谈需要平静讲述和倾听，而不知怎么的，我们却偏偏失去了这种平衡。技术进步是部分原因，比如智能手机，现在就在你们手里，或者就在旁边，随手就能拿到。

According to the Pew Research, About a third of American teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day.And many of them, almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face.There’s this great piece in The Atlantic.It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell.And he gave his kids a communication project.He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specific subject without using notes.And he said this:” I came to realize…”“I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach.Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills.It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves.Is there any 21st-century skill more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?”

根据皮尤的研究，大约三分之一的美国青少年每天发送超过一百条短信。而着中间很多人，几乎是所有人，更倾向于给朋友发短信，而不是面对面的交谈。《大西洋》杂志等过一篇很棒的文章，作者是高中教室保罗﹒巴恩维尔。他给自己的学生一项交流任务，希望教会他们如何不借助笔记针对某一怀胎发表演讲。然后他说：“我开始意识到…我开始意识到交流能力，可能是最被我们忽视的，没有好好教授的技能。孩子每天花费数小时通过屏幕接触创意和其他伙伴，但很少有机会去发觉自己的人际交往技能。”着听起来很好笑，但我们必须问问自己：“21实际，有什么技能会比维持一段连贯，自信的谈话更为重要？”

Now, I make my living talking to people: Nobel Prize winners, truck drivers, billionaires, kindergarten teachers, heads of state, plumbers.I talk to people that I like.I talk to people that I don’t like.I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level.But I still have a great conversation with them.So I’d like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen.Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, things of interesting topics to discuss in advance, look, nod and smile to show that you’re paying attention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it.So I want you to forget all of that.It is crap.There is no reason to learn how to show you’re paying attention, if you are in fact paying attention.Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular life.So, I’m going to teach you how to interview people, and that’s actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists.现在，我的职业就是跟别人谈话。诺贝尔奖获得者、卡车司机、亿万富翁、幼儿园老师、州长、水管工。我和我喜欢的人交谈，也和我不喜欢的人交谈。我和在个人层面非常不同的人交谈。但我人就和他们有很好的交流。所以我希望接下来的10分钟教你们如何谈话，以及如何倾听。你们中间很多人以及听过无数建议，比如看着对方的眼睛，提前想好可以讨论的有趣话题，注视，点头并且微笑来表明你的专注，重复你刚才听到的，或者做总结。我想让你们忘掉所有这些，全部没用。根本没有必要去学习如何表现你的很专心，如果你确实很专心。我其实是把作为职业访谈者一模一样的技巧，用在了日常生活中。好，我要来教你们如何采访他人，这其实会帮助你们学习如何成为更好的沟通者。

Learn to have a conversation without wasting your time, without getting bored, and, please God, without offending anybody.We’ve all had really great conversations.We’ve had them before.We know what it’s like.The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you’ve made a real connection or you’ve been perfectly understood.There is no reason why most of your interactions can’t be like that.So I have 10 basic rules.I’m going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it, you’ll already enjoy better conversations.学习开始一段交谈，不浪费时间，不感到无聊，以及最重要的是，不冒犯任何人。我们都曾有过很棒的交谈。我们曾有过，我们知道那是什么感觉，那种结束之后令你感到很享受，很受鼓舞的交谈，或者令你觉得你和别人建立了真实的连接，或者让你完全得到了他人的理解。没有理由说，你大部分人际互动不能成为那样，我有10条基本规则，我会一条条给你们解释，但说真的，如果你选择一条并且熟练掌握，你就已经可以享受更愉快的交谈了。

Number one: Don't multitask.And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand.I mean, be present.Be in that moment.Don't think about your argument you had with your boss.Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner.If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.第一条：不要三心二意。我不是说单纯放下你的手机、平板电脑、车钥匙，或者随便什么握在手里的东西。我的意思是，处在当下。进入那个情境中去。不要想着你之前和老板的争吵。不要想着你晚饭吃什么。如果你想退出交谈，就退出交谈。但不要身在曹营心在汉。

Number two: Don't pontificate.If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.Now, there's a really good reason why I don't allow pundits on my show: Because they're really boring.If they're conservative, they're going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.If they’re liberal, they're going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney.Totally predictable.And you don't want to be like that.You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn.The famed therapist M.Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself.And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion.He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener.Again, assume that you have something to learn.Bill Nye: 'Everyone you will ever meet knows somethingthat you don't.' I put it this way: Everybody is an expert in something.第二条：不要好为人师。如果你想要表达自己的看法，又不想留下任何机会让人回应、争论、反驳或阐发，写博客去。有个很好的理由来说明我的谈话里为什么不允许有“专家说教”：因为真的很无聊。如果对方是个保守派，那一定讨厌奥巴马、食品券和堕胎。如果对方是个自由派，那一定会讨厌大银行、石油公司和迪克·切尼。完全可以预测的。你肯定不希望那样。你需要在进入每一次交流时都假定自己可以学习到一些东西。著名的治疗师M.斯科特·派克说过，真正的倾听需要把自己放在一边。有时候，这意味着把你的个人观点放在一边。他说感受到这种接纳，说话的人会变得越来越不脆弱敏感，因而越来越有可能打开自己的内心世界，呈现给倾听者。再强调一遍，假定你需要学习新东西。比尔·奈伊说：“每一个你将要见到的人都有你不知道的东西。”我来复述一下：每个人都是某方面的专家。

Number three: Use open-ended questions.In this case, take a cue from journalists.Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.If you put in a complicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out.If I ask you 'Were you terrified?' you're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is 'terrified and the answer is 'Yes, I was' or 'No, I wasn’t.' 'Were you angry?' 'Yes, I was very angry.' Let them describe it.They're the ones that know.Try asking them things like, 'What was that like?' 'How did that feel?' Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much more interesting response.第三点：使用开放式问题。关于这一点，请参考记者采访的提问方式。以“谁”、“ 什么”、“ 何时”、“ 何地”、“ 为什么”或“如何”开始提问。如果你询问一个复杂的问题将会得到一个简单的回答。如果我问你：“你当时恐惧吗？”你会回应那句话中最有力的词，即“恐惧”，而答案将是 “是的”或者“不是”。“你当时气愤吗？”“是的，我当时气得很。”让对方去描述，对方才是了解情境的人。试着这样问对方：“那是什么样子？”，“你感觉怎么样？”因为这样一来，对方可能需要停下来想一想，而你会得到更有意思的回答。

Number four: Go with the flow.That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.We've heard interviews often in which a guest is talking for several minutes and then the host comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out of nowhere, or it's already been answered.That means the host probably stopped listening two minutes ago because he thought of this really clever question, and he was just bound and determined to say that.And we do the exact same thing.We're sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jack man in a coffee shop.第四点：顺其自然。也就是说，想法会自然流入你的头脑，而你需要将它们表达出来。我们常听到采访中嘉宾说了几分钟，然后主持人回过来问问题，这问题好像不知道从何而来或者已经被回答过了。这说明主持人可能两分钟前就没在听，因为他想到了这个非常机智的问题，于是就心心念念想着问这个问题。我们同样也会这么干。当我们和某人坐在一起交谈时，我们突然想起那次和休·杰克曼在咖啡店的偶遇。

Number five: If you don't know, say that you don't know.Now, people on the radio, especially on NPR, are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.Do that.Err on the side of caution.Talk should not be cheap.第五点：如果你不知道，就说你不知道。广播节目里的人，尤其在全国公共广播电台（NPR）中，非常明白他们的谈话会被播放出去。所以他们对自己声称专业的地方以及言之凿凿的东西会更加小心。要学着这样做，谨言慎行，谈话应该是负责任的行为。

Number six: Don’t equate your experience with theirs.If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time you lost a family member.If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don't tell them about how much you hate your job.It's not the same.It is never the same.All experiences are individual.And, more importantly, it is not about you.You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered.Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, 'I have no idea.People who brag about their IQs are losers.' 第六条：不要把自己的经历和他人比较。如果对方谈论失去了家人，不要就势开始说你失去家人的事情。如果对方在说工作上的困扰，不要告诉他们你多么讨厌你的工作。这不一样的，永远不可能一样。任何经历都是独一无二的。而且，更重要的是，这不是在谈论你的事。你不需要在此刻证明你多么能干，或者你经受了多少痛苦。有人曾问史蒂芬·霍金他的智商是多少，他回答道：“我不知道。拿智商吹牛的人都是屌丝。”

Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself.It's condescending, and it's really boring, and we tend to do it a lot.Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over.Don't do that.第七条：尽量别重复自己的话。这很咄咄逼人，也很无聊。但我们很容易这样做。尤其是在工作交谈中，或者和孩子的交谈中。我们想声明一个观点，于是换着方式不停地说，别这样。

Number eight: Stay out of the weeds.Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to comeup with in your mind.They don't care.What they care about is you.They care about what you're like, what you have in common.So forget the details.Leave them out.第八条：少说废话。说白了，没人在乎那些年份、名字、日期等等这些你努力试图在脑中回想的种种细节，别人不在乎，他们关注的是你，对方关心你是什么样的人，和你有什么共同点。所以忘掉细节吧，别管它们。

Number nine: This is not the last one, but it is the most important one.Listen.I cannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop.Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing, 'If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.' And Calvin Coolidge said, 'No man ever listened his way out of a job.' 第九条：这不是最后一条，但是最重要的一条。认真倾听。我说不上来到底有多少重要人士都说过倾听可能是最重要的，第一重要的你可以提升的技能。佛曰——我转述一下，“如果你嘴不停，你就学不到东西。”卡尔文·柯立芝曾说：“从没有人是因为听太多而被开除的。”

One more rule, number 10, and it's this one: Be brief.[A good conversation is like a miniskirt;short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.--My Sister] All of this boils down tothe same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in other people.You know, I grew up with a very famous grandfather, and there was kind of a ritual in my home.People would come over to talk to my grandparents, and after they would leave, my mother would come over to us, and she'd say, 'Do you know who that was? She was the runner-up to Miss America.He was the mayor of Sacramento.She won a Pulitzer Prize.He's a Russian ballet dancer.' And I kind of grew up assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing about them.And honestly, I think it's what makes me a better host.I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.You do the same thing.Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.最后一条，第十条：简明扼要。“好的交谈就像恰到好处的迷你裙；足够短，能够吸引人，又足够长，能够包纳（盖住）主体——我妹妹的比喻”所有这些都浓缩成同一个概念，那就是：对他人产生兴趣。我在一个名人外公的身边长大，我家里宾客络绎不绝。访客会前来和我的外祖父母交谈，而那些人离开后，我母亲会过来对我们说：“你们知道那是谁吗？她是美国小姐的亚军。他是萨克拉门托市长。她拿过普利策奖。他是俄罗斯芭蕾舞蹈家。”我在成长中默认了每个人都有不为人知的精彩。说真的，我想是这一切让我成为了更好的主持人。我尽量少说话，但开放自己的思想，永远准备着大吃一惊，而我从不会感到失望。你们也可以这样。走出门去，和别人交谈，听别人说，以及最重要的，准备好大吃一惊。

第二篇：ted演讲：如何成为一个更好的交谈者(中英对照)

TED演讲：如何成为一个更好的交谈者？（中英对照）

Celeste Headlee 是一个靠交谈吃饭的人，她的工作是电台主持人。在几十年的工作中，她学到了很多沟通技巧，同时也发现居然有如此多的人真的很不会聊天。

下面是她在 TED 上分享的 10 条提高谈话质量的方法。全是干货，来一起学习：【视频请在wifi情况下观看，文字为中英对照】如何成为一个更好的交谈者格鲁吉亚公共广播节目主持人：Celeste Headlee 首先，我想让大家举手示意一下，有多少人曾经在 Facebook 上拉黑过好友，因为他们发表过关于政治，宗教，儿童权益，或者食物等不恰当的言论，有多少人至少有一个不想见的人，因为你就是不想和对方说话？

All right, I want to see a show of hands how many of you have unfriended someone on Facebook because they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food? And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don’t want to talk to them? 要知道，在过去想要一段礼貌的交谈我们只要遵循亨利﹒希金斯在《窈窕淑女》中的忠告，只谈论天气和你的健康状况就行了。但这些年随着气候变化以及反对疫苗运动的开展——这招不怎么管用了。因此，在我们生活的这个世界，这个每一次交谈都有可能发展为争论的世界，政客无法彼此交谈。甚至为那些鸡毛蒜皮的事情，都有人群情绪激昂地赞成或者反对，这太不正常了。皮尤研究中心对一万名美国成年人做了一次调查，发现此刻我们的偏激程度，我们立场鲜明的程度，比历史上任何时期都要高。

You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”: Stick to the weather and your health.But these days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects—are not safe either.So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can’t speak to one another, and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it’s not normal.Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized;we are more divided than we ever have been in history.我们更不倾向于妥协，这意味着我们没有倾听彼此。我们做的各种决定，选择生活在何处，与谁结婚甚至和谁交朋友，都只基于我们已有的信念。再重复一遍，这只说明我们没有倾诉彼此。

交谈需要平静讲述和倾听，而不知怎么的，我们却偏偏失去了这种平衡。技术进步是部分原因，比如智能手机，现在就在你们手里，或者就在旁边，随手就能拿到。

We are less likely to compromise, which means we’re not listening to each other.And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be based on what we already believe.Again, that means we’re not listening to each other.A conversation requires a balance between talking and listing, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.Now, part of that is due to technology.The smartphones that you all either have in your hands or close enough that you could grab them really quickly.根据皮尤的研究，大约三分之一的美国青少年每天发送超过一百条短信。而这中间很多人，几乎是所有人，更倾向于给朋友发短信，而不是面对面的交谈。

《大西洋》杂志等过一篇很棒的文章，作者是高中教室保罗﹒巴恩维尔。他给自己的学生一项交流任务，希望教会他们如何不借助笔记针对某一话题发表演讲。然后他说：“我开始意识到…我开始意识到交流能力，可能是最被我们忽视的，没有好好教授的技能。孩子每天花费数小时通过屏幕接触创意和其他伙伴，但很少有机会去发觉自己的人际交往技能。” 这听起来很好笑，但我们必须问问自己：“21世纪，有什么技能会比维持一段连贯、自信的谈话更为重要？”

According to the Pew Research, About a third of American teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day.And many of them, almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face.There’s this great piece in The Atlantic.It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell.And he gave his kids a communication project.He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specific subject without using notes.And he said this:” I came to realize…”“I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach.Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills.It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves.Is there any 21st-century skill more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?” 现在，我的职业就是跟别人谈话。诺贝尔奖获得者、卡车司机、亿万富翁、幼儿园老师、州长、水管工。我和我喜欢的人交谈，也和我不喜欢的人交谈。我和在个人层面非常不同的人交谈。但我仍旧和他们有很好的交流。所以，我希望接下来的 10 分钟教你们如何谈话，以及如何倾听。

你们中间很多人以及听过无数建议，比如看着对方的眼睛，提前想好可以讨论的有趣话题，注视，点头并且微笑来表明你的专注，重复你刚才听到的，或者做总结。

我想让你们忘掉所有这些，全部没用。根本没有必要去学习如何表现你的很专心，如果你确实很专心。我其实是把作为职业访谈者一模一样的技巧，用在了日常生活中。Now, I make my living talking to people: Nobel Prize winners, truck drivers, billionaires, kindergarten teachers, heads of state, plumbers.I talk to people that I like.I talk to people that I don’t like.I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level.But I still have a great conversation with them.So I’d like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen.Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, things of interesting topics to discuss in advance, look, nod and smile to show that you’re paying attention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it.So I want you to forget all of that.It is crap.There is no reason to learn how to show you’re paying attention, if you are in fact paying attention.Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular life.好，我要来教你们如何采访他人，这其实会帮助你们学习如何成为更好的沟通者。

学习开始一段交谈，不浪费时间，不感到无聊，以及最重要的是，不冒犯任何人。我们都曾有过很棒的交谈。我们曾有过，我们知道那是什么感觉，那种结束之后令你感到很享受，很受鼓舞的交谈，或者令你觉得你和别人建立了真实的连接，或者让你完全得到了他人的理解。没有理由说，你大部分人际互动不能成为那样，我有 10 条基本规则，我会一条条给你们解释，但说真的，如果你选择一条并且熟练掌握，你就已经可以享受更愉快的交谈了。

So, I’m going to teach you how to interview people, and that’s actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists.Learn to have a conversation without wasting your time, without getting bored, and, please God, without offending anybody.We’ve all had really great conversations.We’ve had them before.We know what it’s like.The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you’ve made a real connection or you’ve been perfectly understood.There is no reason why most of your interactions can’t be like that.So I have 10 basic rules.I’m going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it, you’ll already enjoy better conversations.第一条：不要三心二意。

我不是说单纯放下你的手机、平板电脑、车钥匙，或者随便什么握在手里的东西。我的意思是，处在当下。进入那个情境中去。不要想着你之前和老板的争吵。不要想着你晚饭吃什么。如果你想退出交谈，就退出交谈，但不要身在曹营心在汉。

Number one: Don't multitask.And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand.I mean, be present.Be in that moment.Don't think about your argument you had with your boss.Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner.If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.第二条：不要好为人师。

如果你想要表达自己的看法，又不想留下任何机会让人回应、争论、反驳或阐发，写博客去。有个很好的理由来说明我的谈话里为什么不允许有“专家说教”：因为真的很无聊。如果对方是个保守派，那一定讨厌奥巴马、食品券和堕胎。如果对方是个自由派，那一定会讨厌大银行、石油公司和迪克·切尼。完全可以预测的。你肯定不希望那样。

你需要在进入每一次交流时都假定自己可以学习到一些东西。著名的治疗师M.斯科特·派克说过，真正的倾听需要把自己放在一边。有时候，这意味着把你的个人观点放在一边。他说感受到这种接纳，说话的人会变得越来越不脆弱敏感，因而越来越有可能打开自己的内心世界，呈现给倾听者。

再强调一遍，假定你需要学习新东西。比尔·奈伊说：“每一个你将要见到的人都有你不知道的东西。”我来复述一下：每个人都是某方面的专家。Number two: Don't pontificate.If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.Now, there's a really good reason why I don't allow pundits on my show: Because they're really boring.If they're conservative, they're going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.If they’re liberal, they're going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney.Totally predictable.And you don't want to be like that.You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn.The famed therapist M.Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself.And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion.He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener.Again, assume that you have something to learn.Bill Nye: 'Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't.' I put it this way: Everybody is an expert in something.第三条：使用开放式问题。

关于这一点，请参考记者采访的提问方式。以“谁”、“ 什么”、“ 何时”、“ 何地”、“ 为什么”或“如何”开始提问。

如果你询问一个复杂的问题将会得到一个简单的回答。如果我问你：“你当时恐惧吗？”你会回应那句话中最有力的词，即“恐惧”，而答案将是 “是的”或者“不是”。“你当时气愤吗？”“是的，我当时气得很。”

让对方去描述，对方才是了解情境的人。试着这样问对方：“那是什么样子？”，“你感觉怎么样？”因为这样一来，对方可能需要停下来想一想，而你会得到更有意思的回答。Number three: Use open-ended questions.In this case, take a cue from journalists.Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.If you put in a complicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out.If I ask you 'Were you terrified?' you're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is 'terrified and the answer is 'Yes, I was' or 'No, I wasn’t.' 'Were you angry?' 'Yes, I was very angry.' Let them describe it.They're the ones that know.Try asking them things like, 'What was that like?' 'How did that feel?' Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much more interesting response.第四条：顺其自然。

也就是说，想法会自然流入你的头脑，而你需要将它们表达出来。我们常听到采访中嘉宾说了几分钟，然后主持人回过来问问题，这问题好像不知道从何而来或者已经被回答过了。这说明主持人可能两分钟前就没在听，因为他想到了这个非常机智的问题，于是就心心念念想着问这个问题。我们同样也会这么干。当我们和某人坐在一起交谈时，我们突然想起那次和休·杰克曼在咖啡店的偶遇。Number four: Go with the flow.That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.We've heard interviews often in which a guest is talking for several minutes and then the host comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out of nowhere, or it's already been answered.That means the host probably stopped listening two minutes ago because he thought of this really clever question, and he was just bound and determined to say that.And we do the exact same thing.We're sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jack man in a coffee shop.第五条：如果你不知道，就说你不知道。

广播节目里的人，尤其在全国公共广播电台（NPR）中，非常明白他们的谈话会被播放出去。所以他们对自己声称专业的地方以及言之凿凿的东西会更加小心。要学着这样做，谨言慎行，谈话应该是负责任的行为。

Number five: If you don't know, say that you don't know.Now, people on the radio, especially on NPR, are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.Do that.Err on the side of caution.Talk should not be cheap.第六条：不要把自己的经历和他人比较。

如果对方谈论失去了家人，不要就势开始说你失去家人的事情。如果对方在说工作上的困扰，不要告诉他们你多么讨厌你的工作。这不一样的，永远不可能一样。任何经历都是独一无二的。而且，更重要的是，这不是在谈论你的事。你不需要在此刻证明你多么能干，或者你经受了多少痛苦。有人曾问史蒂芬·霍金他的智商是多少，他回答道：“我不知道。拿智商吹牛的人都是屌丝。”

Number six: Don’t equate your experience with theirs.If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time you lost a family member.If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don't tell them about how much you hate your job.It's not the same.It is never the same.All experiences are individual.And, more importantly, it is not about you.You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered.Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, 'I have no idea.People who brag about their IQs are losers.' 第七条：尽量别重复自己的话。

这很咄咄逼人，也很无聊。但我们很容易这样做。尤其是在工作交谈中，或者和孩子的交谈中。我们想声明一个观点，于是换着方式不停地说，别这样。Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself.It's condescending, and it's really boring, and we tend to do it a lot.Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over.Don't do that.第八条：少说废话。

说白了，没人在乎那些年份、名字、日期等等这些你努力试图在脑中回想的种种细节，别人不在乎，他们关注的是你，对方关心你是什么样的人，和你有什么共同点。所以忘掉细节吧，别管它们。

Number eight: Stay out of the weeds.Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind.They don't care.What they care about is you.They care about what you're like, what you have in common.So forget the details.Leave them out.第九条：这不是最后一条，但是最重要的一条。认真倾听。我说不上来到底有多少重要人士都说过倾听可能是最重要的，第一重要的你可以提升的技能。佛曰——我转述一下，“如果你嘴不停，你就学不到东西。”卡尔文·柯立芝曾说：“从没有人是因为听太多而被开除的。”

Number nine: This is not the last one, but it is the most important one.Listen.I cannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop.Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing, 'If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.' And Calvin Coolidge said, 'No man ever listened his way out of a job.' 第十条：简明扼要。

“好的交谈就像恰到好处的迷你裙；足够短，能够吸引人，又足够长，能够包纳（盖住）主体——我妹妹的比喻”，所有这些都浓缩成同一个概念，那就是：对他人产生兴趣。我在一个名人外公身边长大，我家里宾客络绎不绝。访客会前来和我的外祖父母交谈，而那些人离开后，我母亲会过来对我们说：“你们知道那是谁吗？她是美国小姐的亚军。他是萨克拉门托市长。她拿过普利策奖。他是俄罗斯芭蕾舞蹈家。”

我在成长中默认了每个人都有不为人知的精彩。说真的，我想是这一切让我成为了更好的主持人。我尽量少说话，但开放自己的思想，永远准备着大吃一惊，而我从不会感到失望。你们也可以这样。走出门去，和别人交谈，听别人说，以及最重要的，准备好大吃一惊。

One more rule, number 10, and it's this one: Be brief.[A good conversation is like a miniskirt;short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.--My Sister] All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in other people.You know, I grew up with a very famous grandfather, and there was kind of a ritual in my home.People would come over to talk to my grandparents, and after they would leave, my mother would come over to us, and she'd say, 'Do you know who that was? She was the runner-up to Miss America.He was the mayor of Sacramento.She won a Pulitzer Prize.He's a Russian ballet dancer.' And I kind of grew up assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing about them.And honestly, I think it's what makes me a better host.I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.You do the same thing.Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.以上就是今天分享的全部内容。不冒犯任何人，不三心二意，不好为人师，不要把自己的经历和他人比较，认真倾听，谨言慎行，但开放自己的思想，永远准备着大吃一惊。希望 Celeste Headlee 几十年工作总结出的 10 条交谈心得能帮助大家在与人沟通上更游刃有余。

-END-“设计”是商业工具，“设计力”则是创造性的商业思维和方法，未来所有公司都将是设计公司。新物种方法论下，“设计力” 如何从商品附加功能转变为商品核心价值？为什么“设计力”是每个组织、品牌、个人最应该掌握的跨领域科学思维？以用户情绪流动为核心，融合场景、用户行为的“设计力”商业应用方法是什么？新物种学院一期一会之“设计力”报名中，详情请点击??▼关注场景实验室第一时间获取场景、超级IP、新物种的干货内容有任何想法、问题与建议，欢迎留言与我们互动

第三篇：TED演讲如何成为一个更好的交谈者

TED演讲:如何成为一个更好的交谈者?

如何成为一个好的交谈者?我们一定听过很多这方面的建议，例如：要看着对方的眼睛，提前想好可以讨论的有趣话题，注视和点头并且微笑来表明你的专注，重复你刚才听到的，或者做总结等。本次TED演讲者Celeste Headlee女士认为这些技巧完全没用，我们可以将它们丢在一边，因为如果你交谈时确实很专心的话，就根本没必要去学习如何表现你很专心的技巧。让我们洗耳聆听她这次给大家带来的最新也是最实用关于如何成为更好交谈者的十条建议吧。

When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to haveconversations — and that most of us don't converse very well.Celeste Headlee has worked as aradio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity,clarity and a healthy amount of listening.In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules forhaving better conversations.“Go out, talk to people, listen to people,” she says.“And, mostimportantly, be prepared to be amazed.” TED演讲英文文稿: TED演讲中文文稿:

00:11All right, I want to see a show of hands: how many of you have unfriended someone onFacebookbecause they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food? 00:22(Laughter)00:24And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don't want to talkto them? 00:29(Laughter)00:31You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the adviceof Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”: Stick to the weather and your health.But these days, withclimate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects--00:43(Laughter)00:45are not safe either.So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has thepotential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and whereeven the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's notnormal.Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment,we are more polarized, we are more divided, than we ever have been in history.We're less likelyto compromise,which means we're not listening to each other.And we make decisions aboutwhere to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we alreadybelieve.Again, that means we're not listening to each other.A conversation requires a balancebetween talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.01:34Now, part of that is due to technology.The smartphones that you all either have in your hands orclose enough that you could grab them really quickly.According to Pew Research, about a third ofAmerican teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day.And many of them, almost most ofthem, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face.There's thisgreat piece in The Atlantic.It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell.And hegave his kids a communication project.He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specificsubject without using notes.And he said this: “I came to realize...” 02:07(Laughter)02:11“I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we failto teach.Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, butrarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills.It mightsound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves: Is there any 21st-century skill moreimportant than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?” 02:38Now, I make my living talking to people: Nobel Prize winners, truck drivers, billionaires,kindergarten teachers, heads of state, plumbers.I talk to people that I like.I talk to people that Idon't like.I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level.But I still have agreat conversation with them.So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how totalk and how to listen.03:03Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, thinkof interesting topics to discuss in advance, look, nod and smile to show that you're payingattention,repeat back what you just heard or summarize it.So I want you to forget all of that.It iscrap.03:23(Laughter)03:26There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention.03:34(Laughter)03:35(Applause)03:38Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular life.So,I'm going to teach you how to interview people, and that's actually going to help you learn how tobe better conversationalists.Learn to have a conversation without wasting your time, withoutgetting bored, and, please God, without offending anybody.03:59We've all had really great conversations.We've had them before.We know what it's like.The kindof conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you'vemade a real connection or you've been perfectly understood.There is no reason why most of yourinteractions can't be like that.04:17So I have 10 basic rules.I'm going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just chooseone of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations.04:26Number one: Don't multitask.And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or yourcar keys or whatever is in your hand.I mean, be present.Be in that moment.Don't think aboutyour argument you had with your boss.Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner.Ifyou want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and halfout of it.04:49Number two: Don't pontificate.If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity forresponse or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.05:01(Laughter)05:04Now, there's a really good reason why I don't allow pundits on my show: Because they're reallyboring.If they're conservative, they're going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.Ifthey're liberal, they're going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney.Totallypredictable.And you don't want to be like that.You need to enter every conversation assumingthat you have something to learn.The famed therapist M.Scott Peck said that true listeningrequires a setting aside of oneself.And sometimes that means setting aside your personalopinion.He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and lessvulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recessesof his or her mind to thelistener.Again, assume that you have something to learn.05:51Bill Nye: “Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't.” I put it thisway: Everybody is an expert in something.06:02Number three: Use open-ended questions.In this case, take a cue from journalists.Start yourquestions with who, what, when, where, why or how.If you put in a complicated question, you'regoing to get a simple answer out.If I ask you, “Were you terrified?” you're going to respond to themost powerful word in that sentence, which is “terrified,” and the answer is “Yes, I was” or “No, Iwasn't.” “Were you angry?” “Yes, I was very angry.” Let them describe it.They're the ones thatknow.Try asking them things like, “What was that like?” “How did that feel?” Because then theymight have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much moreinteresting response.06:39Number four: Go with the flow.That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to letthem go out of your mind.We've heard interviews often in which a guest is talking for severalminutes and then the host comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out ofnowhere, or it's already been answered.That means the host probably stopped listening twominutes ago because he thought of this really clever question, and he was just bound anddetermined to say that.And we do the exact same thing.We're sitting there having a conversationwith someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.07:16(Laughter)07:17And we stop listening.Stories and ideas are going to come to you.You need to let them come andlet them go.07:25Number five: If you don't know, say that you don't know.Now, people on the radio, especially onNPR,are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so they're more careful aboutwhat they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.Do that.Err on the side ofcaution.Talk should not be cheap.07:45Number six: Don't equate your experience with theirs.If they're talking about having lost a familymember, don't start talking about the time you lost a family member.If they're talking about thetrouble they're having at work, don't tell them about how much you hate your job.It's not the same.It is never the same.All experiences are individual.And, more importantly, it is not about you.Youdon't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you'vesuffered.Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, “I have no idea.People who brag about their IQs are losers.” 08:20(Laughter)08:22Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.08:27Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself.It's condescending, and it's really boring, and we tend todo it a lot.Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point tomake, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over.Don't do that.08:45Number eight: Stay out of the weeds.Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, thedates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind.They don't care.Whatthey care about is you.They care about what you're like, what you have in common.So forget thedetails.Leave them out.09:07Number nine: This is not the last one, but it is the most important one.Listen.I cannot tell you howmany really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one mostimportant skill that you could develop.Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing, “If your mouth is open,you're not learning.” And Calvin Coolidge said, “No man ever listened his way out of a job.” 09:31(Laughter)09:33Why do we not listen to each other? Number one, we'd rather talk.When I'm talking, I'm incontrol.I don't have to hear anything I'm not interested in.I'm the center of attention.I can bolstermy own identity.But there's another reason: We get distracted.The average person talks at about225 word per minute, but we can listen at up to 500 words per minute.So our minds are filling inthose other 275 words.And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention tosomeone, but if you can't do that, you're not in a conversation.You're just two people shouting outbarely related sentences in the same place.10:13(Laughter)10:15You have to listen to one another.Stephen Covey said it very beautifully.He said, “Most of us don'tlisten with the intent to understand.We listen with the intent to reply.” 10:27One more rule, number 10, and it's this one: Be brief.10:31[A good conversation is like a miniskirt;short enough to retain interest, but long enough to coverthe subject.--My Sister] 10:37(Laughter)10:39(Applause)All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested inother people.10:49You know, I grew up with a very famous grandfather, and there was kind of a ritual in myhome.People would come over to talk to my grandparents, and after they would leave, my motherwould come over to us, and she'd say, “Do you know who that was? She was the runner-up toMiss America.He was the mayor of Sacramento.She won a Pulitzer Prize.He's a Russian balletdancer.” And I kind of grew up assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing aboutthem.And honestly, I think it's what makes me a better host.I keep my mouth shut as often as Ipossibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm neverdisappointed.11:27You do the same thing.Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be preparedto be amazed.11:37Thanks.

第四篇：10步准备一个TED演讲

【演讲技巧】10步准备一个TED演讲

这些18分钟的演讲很难去做。滔滔不绝说1个小时很容易，但18分钟的演讲需要知道你是否超时，是否在中间卡住。

通常我给的演讲是45分钟，但我需要18分钟将我的见识表达出来。这个精选过程要求你传播你想法的时候只传达最重要的信息。练习的时间和演讲长度成反比。演讲越短，需要练习的时间也越多。在这种情况下，18分钟的演讲，我们需要大约18个小时的练习时间。一分钟要练习一个小时？这大概只适合于像我一样的专业人士，还不太老练的演讲者需要更多的时间。

我在TEDxEast做了一个演讲，我很兴奋的看着时间不多了，最终还剩6秒。胜利！后来我在印度的INK conference做了一个类似的演讲，但是只有15分钟。尽管我疯狂地练习，并且练习时达到14分半钟，因为严重的支气管炎我吃了药，之后我的时间某种程度上蔓延了，我尴尬了，因为我超了一分钟，但如果我说了第十点将会超过2分钟。

以下是我准备演讲的十步：

1.打印你的幻灯片为一页9格作为讲义材料。这种一页9格的幻灯片大小正好和便利贴一样。我组织再组织我的信息，然后添加便利贴直到我感到满意为止。并且确保减少我为40分钟演讲准备的至少一半的幻灯片。

我平衡再平衡，再平衡，直到我觉得它已经接近18分钟。在这期间，我认识到我的思想可以比过去传达的更有效。

2.征求反馈。召集一些你值得信任的人，让他们对你的修改过的幻灯片打印材料提些反馈。只需要让他们口头说一下。目的是让他们一次看完所有的幻灯片，你想要得到关于“整体：的反馈，而不是部分。然他们给你选择的内容提反馈，并问问他们是否觉得TED的听众会得到共鸣。当他们添加完他们的意见，我就开始将它们做成电子版。

3.再次将它分享给一个好的交流者。在我的例子里，我将它分享给我的ExComm经理 Krystin。她很擅长帮我排练，并成为我值得信赖的教练。她会说：”当你这么说时，会和你打算解释的效果不同。”，“当你使用这个术语，你将遭到贬损”，“我想当你最后这么说时会更好”。她认真的帮我分析每个词如何用、怎么说。诚实是最好的原则。确保你的指导者不要害怕说不出来。18分钟里，你想要将你喜欢的材料都说出来，想要包括所有东西，但作为TED的演讲，你需要一个值得信任的人帮你删掉些你喜爱的内容。

4.Close the loop。许多时候，作为推荐者，你清楚的知道你的材料以至于你认为你把每一点都搞清楚了。你可能还没有。你的指导者需要保证你在告诉人们为什么。围绕在你思想的“为什么”使内容展开，而不是“如何...”。明确的表达为什么，那么你的听众可以明白你的宏大思想是什么。

5.在计时的情况下练习。在最初的时候，在计时的时候排练。这是因为如果你超时了，你要知道自己超了多少。在这个时候不要看着时间。让你的指导者看着，因为你不想在脑海里记住任何时间印记。一分钟，三分钟。一直的练习，直到你可以保持在18分钟里。你的指导者应该可以告诉你在这剪掉30秒或在那加上15秒，以便你内容可以承载最重要的信息。

6.在倒计时的情况下练习。一旦你有了时间表就可以在倒计时的情况下练习。你需要在你演讲的一些位置设置计时基准。计算以下你6分钟的演讲会到什么位置。你应该大概知道6、12、18分钟的时候，你会演讲到什么地方。你应该知道幻灯片应到什么位置，以及你在说些什么内容，那么你在台上就可立即知道自己是否按时或已经超时。

7.显著标记。你的指导者应该记下你什么内容说的好，什么内容说的不好。他们应该从打印的幻灯片开始，写下你用的好的短语，那么你可以将它们添加到你的讲义里。他们应该帮助捕找些短语，那么你可以打到你的注释里。

8.不要不喜被拍。录下一些你最后的练习。这不需要用最好的设置，像我们使用Flip摄像机时放在三脚架上。它帮你习惯于看着摄像机，并且你可以回放视频，看看你在台上的表现、目光的注视、手势，确定你需要修改的表现。当然，如果你想使练习做的相当好，你可以倒

回去，听音频，在幻灯片笔记上添上你认为最好的一段。

9.在上台之前做一个完整的排练。这就是我在印度搞砸的地方，在那天早晨我完全的练习了几次，但我没有感到需要计时。我承认我一周里没有计时，但是发了疯的练习。如果我通过Skype和我的教练Krystin练习就更好了。我本将避免一场灾难。

10.准备两个自然的结束点。我想要控告印度展的组织者没有真正的给我满15分钟。但是是我搞砸了。这可能是因为我的支气管炎导致的，在我演讲完后我还感到时间充足。幸运的是，我准备了两个地方来结束我的演讲。我有一个结束的地方来完整的结束演讲，于是我在那个地方结束了。我没有时间做到的是我没有带来一个鼓舞人心的结尾，可以令在场的人站起来、惊声尖叫。

第五篇：(TED英文演讲)如何做得更好——观后感

“Ways to get better.”--------Feedback Key words：deliberate study, analysis, reflections.Many people always express their complaints to others that they didn’t obtain enough improvements with so much work.To be frank, if only one man just keep working continuously who is satisfied with himself, he won't be much better.Why? Do our performances really matter?

The answer is definitely “No!”.Surely the performances we have done is important, but something else can be vital.It’s what the speaker called “deliberate study”.That means a straddle between doing and analyzing.We can apply what we have learned to practice, which in turn can reflect where to improve and where to adjust.However, as many people think, our diligence and achievements are focused, not reflection.In my view, practice is of great significance but lack of use without introspection.Because introspection may sometimes lead us to breakthrough.In conclusion, never lose your reflective mind.Instead of repetitive and mechanical work, do more exploration, experiments and deep thoughts.Only in this way can we turn our best to better.