美国著名脱口秀主持人柯南在达特茅斯演讲

第一篇：美国著名脱口秀主持人柯南在达特茅斯演讲

美国著名脱口秀主持人柯南•奥布莱恩为2011年达特茅斯学院做了毕业致辞。前半部分有很多搞笑串场，后半部分柯南跟大家分享了自己的经历和人生经验：正是那些既定想法的失败，才使我们成为独一无二的人！以下是演讲全文：

I've been living in Los Angeles for two years, and I've never been this cold in my life.I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves.Anybody.I'm serious.I have the cash.Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom.I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011.Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma.That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce.I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.Incidentally, speaking of Mr.Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair.For example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend.That was great.And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight.Deal with it.Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich people on stage get the tent.Deal with it.I would like to thank President Kim for inviting me here today.After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about the man.He goes by President Kim and Dr.Kim.To his friends, he's Jim Kim, J to the K, Special K, JK Rowling, the Just Kidding Kimster, and most puzzling, “Stinky Pete.” He served as the chair of the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School, spearheaded a task force for the World Health Organization on Global Health Initiatives, won a MacArthur Genius Grant, and was one of TIME Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2006.Good God, man, what the hell are you compensating for? Seriously.We get it.You're smart.By the way Dr.Kim, you were brought to Dartmouth to lead, and as a world-class anthropologist, you were also hired to figure out why each of these graduating students ran around a bonfire 111 times.But I thank you for inviting me here, Stinky Pete, and it is an honor.Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know that I once sat where you sit.Literally.Late last night I snuck out here and sat in every seat.I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.But this is a wonderful occasion and it is great to be here in New Hampshire, where I am getting an honorary degree and all the legal fireworks I can fit in the trunk of my car.You know, New Hampshire is such a special place.When I arrived I took a deep breath of this crisp New England air and thought, “Wow, I'm in the state that's next to the state where Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made.” But don't get me wrong, I take my task today very seriously.When I got the call two months ago to be your speaker, I decided to prepare with the same intensity many of you have devoted to an important term paper.So late last night, I began.I drank two cans of Red Bull, snorted some Adderall, played a few hours of Call of Duty, and then opened my browser.I think Wikipedia put it best when they said “Dartmouth College is a private Ivy League University in Hanover, New Hampshire, United States.” Thank you and good luck.To communicate with you students today, I have gone to great lengths to become well-versed in your unique linguistic patterns.In fact, just this morning I left Baker Berry with my tripee Barry to eat a Billy Bob at the Bema when my flitz to Francesca was Blitz jacked by some d-bag on his FSP.Yes, I've done my research.This college was named after the Second Earl of Dartmouth, a good friend of the Third Earl of UC Santa Cruz and the Duke of the Barbizon School of Beauty.Your school motto is “Vox clamantis in deserto,” which means “Voice crying out in the wilderness.” This is easily the most pathetic school motto I have ever heard.Apparently, it narrowly beat out “Silently Weeping in Thick Shrub” and “Whimpering in Moist Leaves without Pants.” Your school color is green, and this color was chosen by Frederick Mather in 1867 because, and this is true—I looked it up—“it was the only color that had not been taken already.” I cannot remember hearing anything so sad.Dartmouth, you have an inferiority complex, and you should not.You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college.Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy.Pete Campbell from Mad Men.Michael Corleone from The Godfather.In fact, I look forward to next years' Valedictory Address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula.Of course, your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.Man, can you imagine if a real Treasury Secretary made those kinds of decisions? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.Now I know what you're going to say, Dartmouth, you're going to say, well “We've got Dr.Seuss.” Well guess what, we're all tired of hearing about Dr.Seuss.Face it: The man rhymed fafloozle with saznoozle.In the literary community, that's called cheating.Your insecurity is so great, Dartmouth, that you don't even think you deserve a real podium.I'm sorry.What the hell is this thing? It looks like you stole it from the set of Survivor: Nova Scotia.Seriously, it looks like something a bear would use at an AA meeting.No, Dartmouth, you must stand tall.Raise your heads high and feel proud.Because if Harvard, Yale, and Princeton are your self-involved, vain, name-dropping older brothers, you are the cool, sexually confident, lacrosse playing younger sibling who knows how to throw a party and looks good in a down vest.Brown, of course, is your lesbian sister who never leaves her room.And Penn, Columbia, and Cornell—well, frankly, who gives a shit.Yes, I've always had a special bond with this school.In fact, this is my second time coming here.When I was 17 years old and touring colleges, way back in the fall of 1980, I came to Dartmouth.Dartmouth was a very different place back then.I made the trip up from Boston on a mule and, after asking the blacksmith in West Leb for directions, I came to this beautiful campus.No dormitories had been built yet, so I stayed with a family of fur traders in White River Junction.It snowed heavily during my visit and I was trapped here for four months.I was forced to eat the mule, who a week earlier had been forced to eat the fur traders.Still, I loved Dartmouth and I vowed to return.But fate dealt a heavy blow.With no money, I was forced to enroll in a small, local commuter school, a pulsating sore on a muddy elbow of the Charles River.I was a miserable wretch, and to this day I cannot help but wonder: What if I had gone to Dartmouth? If I had gone to Dartmouth, I might have spent at least some of my college years outside and today I might not be allergic to all plant life, as well as most types of rock.If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I'd be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace thong.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I still wouldn't know the second verse to “Dear Old Dartmouth.” Face it, none of you do.You all mumble that part.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I'd have a liver the size and consistency of a bean bag chair.Finally, if I had gone to Dartmouth, today I'd be getting an honorary degree at Harvard.Imagine how awesome that would be.You are a great school, and you deserve a historic commencement address.That's right, I want my message today to be forever remembered because it changed the world.To do this, I must suggest groundbreaking policy.Winston Churchill gave his famous “Iron Curtain” speech at Westminster College in 1946.JFK outlined his nuclear disarmament policy at American University in 1963.Today, I would like to set forth my own policy here at Dartmouth: I call it “The Conan Doctrine.” Under “The Conan Doctrine”:

-All bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master's degrees.All master's degrees will be upgraded to PhDs.And all MBA students will be immediately transferred to a white collar prison.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” Winter Carnival will become Winter Carnivale and be moved to Rio.Clothing will be optional, all expenses paid by the Alumni Association.-Your nickname, the Big Green, will be changed to something more kick-ass like “The Jade Blade,” the “Seafoam Avenger,” or simply “Lime-Zilla.”

-The D-Plan and “quarter system” will finally be updated to “the one sixty-fourth system.” Semesters will last three days.Students will be encouraged to take 48 semesters off.They must, however, be on campus during their Sophomore 4th of July.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” I will re-instate Tubestock.And I will punish those who tried to replace it with Fieldstock.Rafting and beer are a much better combination than a field and a beer.I happen to know that in two years, they were going to downgrade Fieldstock to Deskstock, seven hours of fun sitting quietly at your desk.Don't let those bastards do it.And finally, under “The Conan Doctrine,” all commencement speakers who shamelessly pander with cheap, inside references designed to get childish applause, will be forced to apologize—to the greatest graduating class in the history of the world.Dartmouth class of 2011 rules!

Besides policy, another hallmark of great commencement speeches is deep, profound advice like “reach for the stars.” Well today, I am not going to waste your time with empty clichés.Instead, I am going to give you real, practical advice that you will need to know if you are going to survive the next few years.-First, adult acne lasts longer than you think.I almost cancelled two days ago because I had a zit on my eye.-Guys, this is important: You cannot iron a shirt while wearing it.-Here's another one.If you live on Ramen Noodles for too long, you lose all feelings in your hands and your stool becomes a white gel.-And finally, wearing colorful Converse high-tops beneath your graduation robe is a great way to tell your classmates that this is just the first of many horrible decisions you plan to make with the rest of your life.Of course there are many parents here and I have real advice for them as well.Parents, you should write this down:

-Many of your children you haven't seen them in four years.Well, now you are about to see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the wi-fi isn't working.-If your child majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.The only place where they are now really qualified to get a job is ancient Greece.Good luck with that degree.-The traffic today on East Wheelock is going to be murder, so once they start handing out diplomas, you should slip out in the middle of the K's.And, I have to tell you this:

-You will spend more money framing your child's diploma than they will earn in the next six months.It's tough out there, so be patient.The only people hiring right now are Panera Bread and Mexican drug cartels.Yes, you parents must be patient because it is indeed a grim job market out there.And one of the reasons it's so tough finding work is that aging baby boomers refuse to leave their jobs.Trust me on this.Even when they promise you for five years that they are going to leave—and say it on television—I mean you can go on YouTube right now and watch the guy do it, there is no guarantee they won't come back.Of course I'm speaking generally.But enough.This is not a time for grim prognostications or negativity.No, I came here today because, believe it or not, I actually do have something real to tell you.Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating class at Harvard.I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left to say.But then 2010 came.And now I'm here, three thousand miles from my home, because I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I'd like to share it with you.In 2000, I told graduates “Don't be afraid to fail.” Well now I'm here to tell you that, though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it.Nietzsche famously said “Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.What Nietzsche should have said is “Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.” Now, by definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful.But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment.I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and helped define me for the better part of 17 years.I went from being in the center of the grid to not only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid.It was the making of a career disaster, and a terrible analogy.But then something spectacular happened.Fogbound, with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things.I grew a strange, cinnamon beard.I dove into the world of social media.I started tweeting my comedy.I threw together a national tour.I played the guitar.I did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family.Ultimately, I abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable with a network most famous for showing reruns, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black man who dresses like an old, black woman.I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what: with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life.To this day I still don't understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had more conviction about what I was doing.How could this be true? Well, it's simple: There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.I went to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going.At Harvard, five different guys in my class told me that they would one day be President of the United States.Four of them were later killed in motel shoot-outs.The other one briefly hosted Blues Clues, before dying senselessly in yet another motel shoot-out.Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42.One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course.This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession.Way back in the 1940s there was a very, very funny man named Jack Benny.He was a giant star, easily one of the greatest comedians of his generation.And a

much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny.In some ways he was, but in many ways he wasn't.He emulated Jack Benny, but his own quirks and mannerisms, along with a changing medium, pulled him in a different direction.And yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation.David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson, and was not, and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman.And none of us are.My peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways.But the point is this : It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.So, at the age of 47, after 25 years of obsessively pursuing my dream, that dream changed.For decades, in show business, the ultimate goal of every comedian was to host The Tonight Show.It was the Holy Grail, and like many people I thought that achieving that goal would define me as successful.But that is not true.No specific job or career goal defines me, and it should not define you.In 2000—in 2000—I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that.But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come.The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.Many of you here today are getting your diploma at this Ivy League school because you have committed yourself to a dream and worked hard to achieve it.And there is no greater cliché in a commencement address than “follow your dream.” Well I am here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now, it will probably change.And that's okay.Four years ago, many of you had a specific vision of what your college experience was going to be and who you were going to become.And I bet, today, most of you would admit that your time here was very different from what you imagined.Your roommates changed, your major changed, for some of you your sexual orientation changed.I bet some of you have changed your sexual orientation since I began this speech.I know I have.But through the good and especially the bad, the person you are now is someone you could never have conjured in the fall of 2007.I have told you many things today, most of it foolish but some of it true.I'd like to end my address by breaking a taboo and quoting myself from 17 months ago.At the end of my final program with NBC, just before signing off, I said “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” Today, receiving this honor and speaking to the Dartmouth Class of 2011 from behind a tree-trunk, I have never believed that more.Thank you very much, and congratulations.

第二篇：柯南·奥布莱恩达特茅斯学院2011毕业演讲英文全文

I've been living in Los Angeles for two years, and I've never been this cold in my life.I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves.Anybody.I'm serious.I have the cash.Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom.I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011.Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma.That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce.I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.Incidentally, speaking of Mr.Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair.For example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend.That was great.And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight.Deal with it.Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich people on stage get the tent.Deal with it.I would like to thank President Kim for inviting me here today.After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about the man.He goes by President Kim and Dr.Kim.To his friends, he's Jim Kim, J to the K, Special K, JK Rowling, the Just Kidding Kimster, and most puzzling, “Stinky Pete.” He served as the chair of the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School, spearheaded a task force for the World Health Organization on Global Health Initiatives, won a MacArthur Genius Grant, and was one of TIME Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2006.Good God, man, what the hell are you compensating for? Seriously.We get it.You're smart.By the way Dr.Kim, you were brought to Dartmouth to lead, and as a world-class anthropologist, you were also hired to figure out why each of these graduating students ran around a bonfire 111 times.But I thank you for inviting me here, Stinky Pete, and it is an honor.Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know that I once sat where you sit.Literally.Late last night I snuck out here and sat in every seat.I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.But this is a wonderful occasion and it is great to be here in New Hampshire, where I am getting an honorary degree and all the legal fireworks I can fit in the trunk of my car.You know, New Hampshire is such a special place.When I arrived I took a deep breath of this crisp New England air and thought, “Wow, I'm in the state that's next to the state where Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made.”

But don't get me wrong, I take my task today very seriously.When I got the call two months ago to be your speaker, I decided to prepare with the same intensity many of you have devoted to an important term paper.So late last night, I began.I drank two cans of Red Bull, snorted some Adderall, played a few hours of Call of Duty, and then opened my browser.I think Wikipedia put it best when they said “Dartmouth College is a private Ivy League University in Hanover, New Hampshire, United States.” Thank you and good luck.To communicate with you students today, I have gone to great lengths to become well-versed in your unique linguistic patterns.In fact, just this morning I left Baker Berry with my tripee Barry to eat a Billy Bob at the Bema when my flitz to Francesca was Blitz jacked by some d-bag on his FSP.Yes, I've done my research.This college was named after the Second Earl of Dartmouth, a good friend of the Third Earl of UC Santa Cruz and the Duke of the Barbizon School of Beauty.Your school motto is “Vox clamantis in deserto,” which means “Voice crying out in the wilderness.” This is easily the most pathetic school motto I have ever heard.Apparently, it narrowly beat out “Silently Weeping in Thick Shrub” and “Whimpering in Moist Leaves without Pants.” Your school color is green, and this color was chosen by Frederick Mather in 1867 because, and this is true—I looked it up—“it was the only color that had not been taken already.” I cannot remember hearing anything so sad.Dartmouth, you have an inferiority complex, and you should not.You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college.Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy.Pete Campbell from Mad Men.Michael Corleone from The Godfather.In fact, I look forward to next years' Valedictory Address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula.Of course, your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.Man, can you imagine if a real Treasury Secretary made those kinds of decisions? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.Now I know what you're going to say, Dartmouth, you're going to say, well “We've got Dr.Seuss.” Well guess what, we're all tired of hearing about Dr.Seuss.Face it: The man rhymed fafloozle with saznoozle.In the literary community, that's called cheating.Your insecurity is so great, Dartmouth, that you don't even think you deserve a real podium.I'm sorry.What the hell is this thing? It looks like you stole it from the set of Survivor: Nova Scotia.Seriously, it looks like something a bear would use at an AA meeting.No, Dartmouth, you must stand tall.Raise your heads high and feel proud.Because if Harvard, Yale, and Princeton are your self-involved, vain, name-dropping older brothers, you are the cool, sexually confident, lacrosse playing younger sibling who knows how to throw a party and looks good in a down vest.Brown, of course, is your lesbian sister who never leaves her room.And Penn, Columbia, and Cornell—well, frankly, who gives a shit.Yes, I've always had a special bond with this school.In fact, this is my second time coming here.When I was 17 years old and touring colleges, way back in the fall of 1980, I came to Dartmouth.Dartmouth was a very different place back then.I made the trip up from Boston on a mule and, after asking the blacksmith in West Leb for directions, I came to this beautiful campus.No dormitories had been built yet, so I stayed with a family of fur traders in White River Junction.It snowed heavily during my visit and I was trapped here for four months.I was forced to eat the mule, who a week earlier had been forced to eat the fur traders.Still, I loved Dartmouth and I vowed to return.But fate dealt a heavy blow.With no money, I was forced to enroll in a small, local commuter school, a pulsating sore on a muddy elbow of the Charles River.I was a miserable wretch, and to this day I cannot help but wonder: What if I had gone to Dartmouth?

If I had gone to Dartmouth, I might have spent at least some of my college years outside and today I might not be allergic to all plant life, as well as most types of rock.If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I'd be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace thong.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I still wouldn't know the second verse to “Dear Old Dartmouth.” Face it, none of you do.You all mumble that part.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I'd have a liver the size and consistency of a bean bag chair.Finally, if I had gone to Dartmouth, today I'd be getting an honorary degree at Harvard.Imagine how awesome that would be.You are a great school, and you deserve a historic commencement address.That's right, I want my message today to be forever remembered because it changed the world.To do this, I must suggest groundbreaking policy.Winston Churchill gave his famous “Iron Curtain” speech at Westminster College in 1946.JFK outlined his nuclear disarmament policy at American University in 1963.Today, I would like to set forth my own policy here at Dartmouth: I call it “The Conan Doctrine.” Under “The Conan Doctrine”:

-All bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master's degrees.All master's degrees will be upgraded to PhDs.And all MBA students will be immediately transferred to a white collar prison.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” Winter Carnival will become Winter Carnivale and be moved to Rio.Clothing will be optional, all expenses paid by the Alumni Association.-Your nickname, the Big Green, will be changed to something more kick-ass like “The Jade Blade,” the “Seafoam Avenger,” or simply “Lime-Zilla.”

-The D-Plan and “quarter system” will finally be updated to “the one sixty-fourth system.” Semesters will last three days.Students will be encouraged to take 48 semesters off.They must, however, be on campus during their Sophomore 4th of July.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” I will re-instate Tubestock.And I will punish those who tried to replace it with Fieldstock.Rafting and beer are a much better combination than a field and a beer.I happen to know that in two years, they were going to downgrade Fieldstock to Deskstock, seven hours of fun sitting quietly at your desk.Don't let those bastards do it.And finally, under “The Conan Doctrine,” all commencement speakers who shamelessly pander with cheap, inside references designed to get childish applause, will be forced to apologize—to the greatest graduating class in the history of the world.Dartmouth class of 2011 rules!

Besides policy, another hallmark of great commencement speeches is deep, profound advice like “reach for the stars.” Well today, I am not going to waste your time with empty clichés.Instead, I am going to give you real, practical advice that you will need to know if you are going to survive the next few years.-First, adult acne lasts longer than you think.I almost cancelled two days ago because I had a zit on my eye.-Guys, this is important: You cannot iron a shirt while wearing it.-Here's another one.If you live on Ramen Noodles for too long, you lose all feelings in your hands and your stool becomes a white gel.-And finally, wearing colorful Converse high-tops beneath your graduation robe is a great way to tell your classmates that this is just the first of many horrible decisions you plan to make with the rest of your life.Of course there are many parents here and I have real advice for them as well.Parents, you should write this down:

-Many of your children you haven't seen them in four years.Well, now you are about to see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the wi-fi isn't working.-If your child majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.The only place where they are now really qualified to get a job is ancient Greece.Good luck with that degree.-The traffic today on East Wheelock is going to be murder, so once they start handing out diplomas, you should slip out in the middle of the K's.And, I have to tell you this:

-You will spend more money framing your child's diploma than they will earn in the next six months.It's tough out there, so be patient.The only people hiring right now are Panera Bread and Mexican drug cartels.Yes, you parents must be patient because it is indeed a grim job market out there.And one of the reasons it's so tough finding work is that aging baby boomers refuse to leave their jobs.Trust me on this.Even when they promise you for five years that they are going to leave—and say it on television—I mean you can go on YouTube right now and watch the guy do it, there is no guarantee they won't come back.Of course I'm speaking generally.But enough.This is not a time for grim prognostications or negativity.No, I came here today because, believe it or not, I actually do have something real to tell you.Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating class at Harvard.I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left to say.But then 2010 came.And now I'm here, three thousand miles from my home, because I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I'd like to share it with you.In 2000, I told graduates “Don't be afraid to fail.” Well now I'm here to tell you that, though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it.Nietzsche famously said “Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.What Nietzsche should have said is “Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.”

Now, by definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful.But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment.I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and helped define me for the better part of 17 years.I went from being in the center of the grid to not only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid.It was the making of a career disaster, and a terrible analogy.But then something spectacular happened.Fogbound, with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things.I grew a strange, cinnamon beard.I dove into the world of social media.I started tweeting my comedy.I threw together a national tour.I played the guitar.I did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family.Ultimately, I abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable with a network most famous for showing reruns, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black man who dresses like an old, black woman.I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what: with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life.To this day I still don't understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had more conviction about what I was doing.How could this be true? Well, it's simple: There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.I went to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going.At Harvard, five different guys in my class told me that they would one day be President of the United States.Four of them were later killed in motel shoot-outs.The other one briefly hosted Blues Clues, before dying senselessly in yet another motel shoot-out.Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42.One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course.This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession.Way back in the 1940s there was a very, very funny man named Jack Benny.He was a giant star, easily one of the greatest comedians of his generation.And a much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny.In some ways he was, but in many ways he wasn't.He emulated Jack Benny, but his own quirks and mannerisms, along with a changing medium, pulled him in a different direction.And yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation.David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson, and was not, and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman.And none of us are.My peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways.But the point is this : It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.So, at the age of 47, after 25 years of obsessively pursuing my dream, that dream changed.For decades, in show business, the ultimate goal of every comedian was to host The Tonight Show.It was the Holy Grail, and like many people I thought that achieving that goal would define me as successful.But that is not true.No specific job or career goal defines me, and it should not define you.In 2000—in 2000—I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that.But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come.The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.Many of you here today are getting your diploma at this Ivy League school because you have committed yourself to a dream and worked hard to achieve it.And there is no greater cliché in a commencement address than “follow your dream.” Well I am here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now, it will probably change.And that's okay.Four years ago, many of you had a specific vision of what your college experience was going to be and who you were going to become.And I bet, today, most of you would admit that your time here was very different from what you imagined.Your roommates changed, your major changed, for some of you your sexual orientation changed.I bet some of you have changed your sexual orientation since I began this speech.I know I have.But through the good and especially the bad, the person you are now is someone you could never have conjured in the fall of 2007.I have told you many things today, most of it foolish but some of it true.I'd like to end my address by breaking a taboo and quoting myself from 17 months ago.At the end of my final program with NBC, just before signing off, I said “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” Today, receiving this honor and speaking to the Dartmouth Class of 2011 from behind a tree-trunk, I have never believed that more.Thank you very much, and congratulations.

第三篇：美国著名脱口秀主持人艾伦杜兰大学毕业演讲

Thank you.President Cowan.Mrs.President Cowen.distinguished guests, undistinguished guests.You know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher.And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009, I realize most of you are hangover and have splitting headaches and haven‟t slept since Fat Tuesday, but you can‟t graduate „til I finish, so listen up.When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes.Then I went to look up what commencement meant.Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portia‟s, and they‟re all written in Australian.So I had to break the word down myself to find out the meaning.Commencement.Common, and cement.Common cement.You commonly see cement on sidewalks.Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother‟s back.So there‟s that.But I‟m honored that you‟ve asked me here to speak at your common cement.I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus –alumint –alumini – aluminum – alumis – you had to graduate from this school.And I didn‟t go to college here, and I don‟t know if President Cowen knows, I didn‟t go to any college at all.Any college.And I‟m not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I‟m a huge celebrity.Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers.I spent a lot of time here growing up.My mom works at(?)and I would go there every time I needed to steel something out of her purse.But why am I here today? Clearly not to steel, you‟re too far away and I‟d never get away with it.I‟m here because of you.Because I can‟t think of a more tenacious, more courageous graduating class.I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes.Usually when you‟re wearing a robe at 10 in the morning, it means you‟ve given up.I‟m here because I love New Orleans.I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and I like you, while I was living here, I only did laundry six times.When I finished school, I was completely lost.And by school, I mean middle school, but I went ahead and finished high school anyway.And I – I really, I had no ambition;I didn‟t know what I wanted to do.I did everything from I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea.And I thought I‟d just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basic cable, maybe not, I didn‟t really have a plan.My point is that, by the time I was your age, I really thought I know who I was, but I had no idea.Like for example, when I was your age, I was dating men.So what I‟m saying is, when you‟re older, most of you will be gay.Anyone writing this stuff down? Parents? Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event.I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident.And I passed the accident, and I didn‟t know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her.And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas.And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don‟t understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn‟t it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions.And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn‟t even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town.I said, I‟m gonna do this on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.At the time he was the king “and I‟m gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.” And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.And I thought if people found out they wouldn‟t like me, they wouldn‟t laugh at me.Then my career turned into I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success.And I thought, what if they find out I‟m gay, then they‟ll never watch, and this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents this was back, many years ago and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn‟t live that anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn‟t to make a political statement, it wasn‟t to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest, And I thought, “What‟s the worst that could happen? I can lose my career”.I did.I lost my career.The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper.The phone didn‟t ring for three years.I had no offers.Nobody wanted to touch me at all.Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn‟t, because of what I did.And I realized that I had a purpose.And it wasn‟t just about me and it wasn‟t about celebrity, but I felt I was being punished…it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talk show.And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it.And most stations didn‟t want to pick it up.Most people didn‟t want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.Really when I look back on it, I wouldn‟t change a thing.I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that‟s what‟s gotten me to this place.I don‟t live in fear, I‟m free, I have no secret, and I know I‟ll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.So in conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different.I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous.I want to be a star.I want to be in movies.When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies.To quote the Pussycat Dolls.How many people thought it was “boobies”, by the way? It‟s not, it‟s “groupies”.But my idea of success is different today.As you grow, you‟ll realize the definition of success change.For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20shots of tequila.For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure, to try to be something that you‟re not, To live your life as an honest and compassionate person.To contribute in some way.So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself.Never follow anyone‟s path, unless you‟re in the woods and you‟re lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that.Don‟t give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.Don‟t take anyone‟s advice.So my advice to you is to be true to yourself, and everything will be fine.And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there‟s no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine.It‟s gonna be great.You‟ve already survived a hurricane.What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating thing that happen to you will teach you the most.And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview.Like, “Is it above sea level?”.So to conclude my conclusion that I‟ve previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I‟m trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras.But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you‟ll have more beads than you know what to do with.And you‟ll be drunk, most of the time.So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don‟t remember a thing I said today, remember this: you‟re gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.

第四篇：《实习医生格蕾》编剧莱梅斯在达特茅斯学院毕业典礼上的演讲(视频+文本)

President Hanlon, faculty, staff, honored guests, parents, students, families and friends—good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth graduating class of 2014!So.This is weird.Me giving a speech.In general, I do not like giving speeches.Giving a speech requires standing in front of large groups of people while they look at you and it also requires talking.I can do the standing part OK.But the you looking and the me talking...I am not a fan.I get this overwhelming feeling of fear.Terror, really.Dry mouth, heart beats superfast, everything gets a little bit slow motion.Like I might pass out.Or die.Or poop my pants or something.I mean, don’t worry.I’m not going to pass out or die or poop my pants.Mainly because just by telling you that it could happen, I have somehow neutralized it as an option.Like as if saying it out loud casts some kind of spell where now it cannot possibly happen now.Vomit.I could vomit.See.Vomiting is now also off the table.Neutralized it.We’re good.Anyway, the point is.I do not like to give speeches.I’m a writer.I’m a TV writer.I like to write stuff for other people to say.I actually contemplated bringing Ellen Pompeo or Kerry Washington here to say my speech for me...but my lawyer pointed out that when you drag someone across state lines against their will, the FBI comes looking for you, so...I don’t like giving speeches, in general, because of the fear and terror.But this speech? This speech, I really did not want to give.A Dartmouth Commencement speech? Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything in slow motion.Pass out, die, poop.Look, it would be fine if this were, 20 years ago.If it were back in the day when I graduated from Dartmouth.Twenty-three years ago, I was sitting right where you are now.And I was listening to Elizabeth Dole speak.And she was great.She was calm and she was confident.It was just...different.It felt like she was just talking to a group of people.Like a fireside chat with friends.Just Liddy Dole and like 9,000 of her closest friends.Because it was 20 years ago.And she was just talking to a group of people.Now? Twenty years later? This is no fireside chat.It’s not just you and me.This speech is filmed and streamed and tweeted and uploaded.NPR has like, a whole site dedicated to Commencement speeches.A whole site just about commencement speeches.There are sites that rate them and mock them and dissect them.It’s weird.And stressful.And kind of vicious if you’re an introvert perfectionist writer who hates speaking in public in the first place.When President Hanlon called me—and by the way, I would like to thank President Hanlon for asking me way back in January, thus giving me a full six months of terror and panic to enjoy.When President Hanlon called me, I almost said no.Almost.Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything in slow motion.Pass out, die, poop.But I’m here.I am gonna do it.I’m doing it.You know why?

Because I like a challenge.And because this year I made myself a promise that I was going to do the stuff that terrifies me.And because, 20-plus years ago when I was trudging uphill from the River Cluster through all that snow to get to the Hop for play rehearsal, I never imagined that I would one day be standing here, at the Old Pine lectern.Staring out at all of you.About to throw down on some wisdom in the Dartmouth Commencement address.So, you know, yeah.Moments.Also, I’m here because I really, really wanted some EBAs.OK.I want to say right now that every single time someone asked me what I was going to talk about in this speech, I would boldly and confidently tell them that I had all kinds wisdom to share.I was lying.I feel wildly unqualified to give you advice.There is no wisdom here.So all I can do is talk about some stuff that could maybe be useful to you, from one Dartmouth grad to another.Some stuff that won’t ever show up in a Meredith Grey voiceover or a Papa Pope monologue.Some stuff I probably shouldn’t be telling you here now because of the uploading and the streaming and the tweeting.But I am going to pretend that it is 20 years ago.That it’s just you and me.That we’re having a fireside chat.Screw the outside world and what they think.I’ve already said “poop” like five times already anyway...things are getting real up in here.OK, wait.Before I talk to you.I want to talk to your parents.Because the other thing about it being 20 years later is that I’m a mother now.So I know some things, some very different things.I have three girls.I’ve been to the show.You don’t know what that means, but your parents do.You think this day is all about you.But your parents...the people who raised you...the people who endured you...they potty trained you, they taught you to read, they survived you as a teenager, they have suffered 21 years and not once did they kill you.This day...you call it your graduation day.But this day is not about you.This is their day.This is the day they take back their lives, this is the day they earn their freedom.This day is their Independence Day.So, parents, I salute you.And as I have an eight-month-old, I hope to join your ranks of freedom in 20 years!

OK.So here comes the real deal part of the speech, or you might call it, Some Random Stuff Some Random Alum Who Runs a TV Show Thinks I Should Know Before I Graduate:

You ready?

When people give these kinds of speeches, they usually tell you all kinds of wise and heartfelt things.They have wisdom to impart.They have lessons to share.They tell you: Follow your dreams.Listen to your spirit.Change the world.Make your mark.Find your inner voice and make it sing.Embrace failure.Dream.Dream and dream big.As a matter of fact, dream and don’t stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.I think that’s crap.I think a lot of people dream.And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing.The dreamers.They stare at the sky and they make plans and they hope and they talk about it endlessly.And they start a lot of sentences with “I want to be...” or “I wish.”

“I want to be a writer.” “I wish I could travel around the world.”

And they dream of it.The buttoned-up ones meet for cocktails and they brag about their dreams, and the hippie ones have vision boards and they meditate about their dreams.Maybe you write in journals about your dreams or discuss it endlessly with your best friend or your girlfriend or your mother.And it feels really good.You’re talking about it, and you’re planning it.Kind of.You are blue-skying your life.And that is what everyone says you should be doing.Right? I mean, that’s what Oprah and Bill Gates did to get successful, right?

No.Dreams are lovely.But they are just dreams.Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty.But dreams do not come true just because you dream them.It’s hard work that makes things happen.It’s hard work that creates change.So, Lesson One, I guess is: Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer.Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is.The truth is, it doesn’t matter.You don’t have to know.You just have to keep moving forward.You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new.It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life.Perfect is boring and dreams are not real.Just...do.So you think, “I wish I could travel.” Great.Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go.Right now.I’m serious.You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing.You don’t have a job? Get one.Any job.Don’t sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity.Who are you? Prince William? No.Get a job.Go to work.Do something until you can do something else.I did not dream of being a TV writer.Never, not once when I was here in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, did I say to myself, “Self, I want to write TV.”

You know what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison.That was my dream.I blue sky’ed it like crazy.I dreamed and dreamed.And while I was dreaming, I was living in my sister’s basement.Dreamers often end up living in the basements of relatives, FYI.Anyway, there I was in that basement, and I was dreaming of being Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison.And guess what? I couldn’t be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, because Toni Morrison already had that job and she wasn’t interested in giving it up.So one day I was sitting in that basement and I read an article that said—it was in The New York Times—and it said it was harder to get into USC Film School than it was to get into Harvard Law School.And I thought I could dream about being Toni Morrison, or I could do.At film school, I discovered an entirely new way of telling stories.A way that suited me.A way that brought me joy.A way that flipped this switch in my brain and changed the way I saw the world.Years later, I had dinner with Toni Morrison.All she wanted to talk about was Grey’s Anatomy.That never would have happened if I hadn’t stopped dreaming of becoming her and gotten busy becoming myself.Lesson Two.Lesson two is that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.When I graduated from Dartmouth that day in 1991, when I was sitting right where you are and I was staring up at Elizabeth Dole speaking, I will admit that I have no idea what she was saying.Couldn’t even listen to her.Not because I was overwhelmed or emotional or any of that.But because I had a serious hangover.Like, an epic painful hangover because(and here is where I apologize to President Hanlon because I know that you are trying to build a better and more responsible Dartmouth and I applaud you and I admire you and it is very necessary)but I was really freaking drunk the night before.And the reason I’d been so drunk the night before, the reason I’d done upside down margarita shots at Bones Gate was because I knew that after graduation, I was going to take off my cap and gown, my parents were going to pack my stuff in the car and I was going to go home and probably never come back to Hanover again.And even if I did come back, it wouldn’t matter because it wouldn’t be the same because I didn’t live here anymore.On my graduation day, I was grieving.My friends were celebrating.They were partying.They were excited.So happy.No more school, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks.And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? You get all the fro-yo you want here!The gym is free.The apartments in Manhattan are smaller than my suite in North Mass.Who cared if there was no place to get my hair done? All my friends are here.I have a theatre company here.I was grieving.I knew enough about how the world works, enough about how adulthood plays out, to be grieving.Here’s where I am going to embarrass myself and make you all feel maybe a little bit better about yourselves.I literally lay down on the floor of my dorm room and cried while my mother packed up my room.I refused to help her.Like, hell no I won’t go.I nonviolent-protested leaving here.Like, went limp like a protestor, only without the chanting—it was really pathetic.If none of you lie down on a dirty hardwood floor and cry today while your mommy packs up your dorm room, you are already starting your careers out ahead of me.You are winning.But here’s the thing.The thing I really felt like I knew was that the real world sucks.And it is scary.College is awesome.You’re special here.You’re in the Ivy League, you are at the pinnacle of your life’s goals at this point—your entire life up until now has been about getting into some great college and then graduating from that college.And now, today, you have done it.The moment you get out of college, you think you are going to take the world by storm.All doors will be opened to you.It’s going to be laughter and diamonds and soirees left and right.What really happens is that, to the rest of the world, you are now at the bottom of the heap.Maybe you’re an intern, possibly a low-paid assistant.And it is awful.The real world, it sucked so badly for me.I felt like a loser all of the time.And more than a loser? I felt lost.Which brings me to clarify lesson number two.Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.But don’t be an asshole.Here’s the thing.Yes, it is hard out there.But hard is relative.I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics, I was born after the civil rights movement, I was a toddler during the women’s movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I’m allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice, and my uterus;and I went to Dartmouth and I earned an Ivy League degree.The lint in my navel that accumulated while I gazed at it as I suffered from feeling lost about how hard it was to not feel special after graduation...that navel lint was embarrassed for me.Elsewhere in the world, girls are harmed simply because they want to get an education.Slavery still exists.Children still die from malnutrition.In this country, we lose more people to handgun violence than any other nation in the world.Sexual assault against women in America is pervasive and disturbing and continues at an alarming rate.So yes, tomorrow may suck for you—as it did for me.But as you stare at the lint in your navel, have some perspective.We are incredibly lucky.We have been given a gift.An incredible education has been placed before us.We ate all the fro-yo we could get our hands on.We skied.We had EBAs at 1 a.m.We built bonfires and got frostbite and had all the free treadmills.We beer-ponged our asses off.Now it’s time to pay it forward.Find a cause you love.It’s OK to pick just one.You are going to need to spend a lot of time out in the real world trying to figure out how to stop feeling like a lost loser, so one cause is good.Devote some time every week to it.Oh.And while we are discussing this, let me say a thing.A hashtag is not helping.#yesallwomen#takebackthenight#notallmen#bringbackourgirls #StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomething

Hashtags are very pretty on Twitter.I love them.I will hashtag myself into next week.But a hashtag is not a movement.A hashtag does not make you Dr.King.A hashtag does not change anything.It’s a hashtag.It’s you, sitting on your butt, typing on your computer and then going back to binge-watching your favorite show.I do it all the time.For me, it’s Game of Thrones.Volunteer some hours.Focus on something outside yourself.Devote a slice of your energies towards making the world suck less every week.Some people suggest doing this will increase your sense of well-being.Some say it’s good karma.I say that it will allow you to remember that, whether you are a legacy or the first in your family to go to college, the air you are breathing right now is rare air.Appreciate it.Don’t be an asshole.Lesson number three.So you’re out there, and you’re giving back and you’re doing, and it’s working.And life is good.You are making it.You’re a success.And it’s exciting and it’s great.At least it is for me.I love my life.I have three TV shows at work and I have three daughters at home.And it’s all amazing, and I am truly happy.And people are constantly asking me, how do you do it?

And usually, they have this sort of admiring and amazed tone.Shonda, how do you do it all?

Like I’m full of magical magic and special wisdom-ness or something.How do you do it all?

And I usually just smile and say like, “I’m really organized.” Or if I’m feeling slightly kindly, I say, “I have a lot of help.”

And those things are true.But they also are not true.And this is the thing that I really want to say.To all of you.Not just to the women out there.Although this will matter to you women a great deal as you enter the work force and try to figure out how to juggle work and family.But it will also matter to the men, who I think increasingly are also trying to figure out how to juggle work and family.And frankly, if you aren’t trying to figure it out, men of Dartmouth, you should be.Fatherhood is being redefined at a lightning-fast rate.You do not want to be a dinosaur.So women and men of Dartmouth: As you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family and you hear over and over and over again that you just need a lot of help or you just need to be organized or you just need to try just a little bit harder...as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question “How do you do it all?” For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now.Because it’s just us.Because it’s our fireside chat.Because somebody has to tell you the truth.Shonda, how do you do it all?

The answer is this: I don’t.Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home.If I am at home sewing my kids’ Halloween costumes, I’m probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in.If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am missing my baby’s first swim lesson.If I am at my daughter’s debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh’s last scene ever being filmed at Grey’s Anatomy.If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other.That is the tradeoff.That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother.You never feel a hundred percent OK;you never get your sea legs;you are always a little nauseous.Something is always lost.Something is always missing.And yet.I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works.I want that example set for them.I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland.There is a land and it is named after their mother.In their world, mothers run companies.In their world, mothers own Thursday nights.In their world, mothers work.And I am a better mother for it.The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland, because I get write all day, because I get to spend my days making things up, that woman is a better person—and a better mother.Because that woman is happy.That woman is fulfilled.That woman is whole.I wouldn’t want them to know the me who didn’t get to do this all day long.I wouldn’t want them to know the me who wasn’t doing.Lesson Number Three is that anyone who tells you they are doing it all perfectly is a liar.OK.I fear I’ve scared you or been a little bit bleak, and that was not my intention.It is my hope that you run out of here, excited, leaning forward, into the wind, ready to take the world by storm.That would be so very fabulous.For you to do what everyone expects of you.For you to just go be exactly the picture of hardcore Dartmouth awesome.My point, I think, is that it is OK if you don’t.My point is that it can be scary to graduate.That you can lie on the hardwood floor of your dorm room and cry while your mom packs up your stuff.That you can have an impossible dream to be Toni Morrison that you have to let go of.That every day you can feel like you might be failing at work or at your home life.That the real world is hard.And yet, you can still wake up every single morning and go, “I have three amazing kids and I have created work I am proud of, and I absolutely love my life and I would not trade it for anyone else’s life ever.”

You can still wake up one day and find yourself living a life you never even imagined dreaming of.My dreams did not come true.But I worked really hard.And I ended up building an empire out of my imagination.So my dreams? Can suck it.You can wake up one day and find that you are interesting and powerful and engaged.You can wake up one day and find that you are a doer.You can be sitting right where you are now.Looking up at me.Probably—hopefully, I pray for you—hung over.And then 20 years from now, you can wake up and find yourself in the Hanover Inn full of fear and terror because you are going to give the Commencement speech.Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything in slow motion.Pass out, die, poop.Which one of you will it be? Which member of the 2014 class is going to find themselves standing up here? Because I checked and it is pretty rare for an alum to speak here.It’s pretty much just me and Robert Frost and Mr.Rogers, which is crazy awesome.Which one of you is going to make it up here? I really hope that it’s one of you.Seriously.When it happens, you’ll know what this feels like.Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything moves in slow motion.Graduates, every single one of you, be proud of your accomplishments.Make good on your diplomas.You are no longer students.You are no longer works in progress.You are now citizens of the real world.You have a responsibility to become a person worthy of joining and contributing to society.Because who you are today...that’s who you are.So be brave.Be amazing.Be worthy.And every single time you get a chance?

Stand up in front of people.Let them see you.Speak.Be heard.Go ahead and have the dry mouth.Let your heart beat so, so fast.Watch everything move in slow motion.So what?

You what?

You pass out, you die, you poop? No.And this is really the only lesson you’ll ever need to know...You take it in.You breathe this rare air.You feel alive.You be yourself.You truly finally always be yourself.Thank you.Good luck.

第五篇：美国霍伯特小学雷夫艾斯奎斯老师在广外外校的演讲实录

美国霍伯特小学雷夫·艾斯奎斯老师在广外

外校的演讲实录

【前言】2013年6月19日夜晚17：00，雷夫·艾斯奎斯（Rafe Esquith）空降广外外校黄花楼礼堂，听完他的讲座受益匪浅。特根据美女翻译的录音整理了雷夫演讲的内容，以飨读者。

我已经从教三十年了，但是我在中国的这些天对我来说是很美妙的。但是也不是总是这么美妙。在进行演讲之前，我想和大家分享一下，我所在的学校是怎样的一所学校。我在一所叫洛杉矶的霍伯特小学任教，在我们的学校吗，没有一个孩子（第一语言）母语是英语的，虽然他们在这样一个英语为母语的国度里。他们都是来自很贫困的家庭，他们在学校能享受到免费的早餐和午餐。但是我们学校很脏乱差。我的第五十六号教室的屋顶就掉下来了。所以当下雨的时候雨水就直接进到我的教室里了。我的校长就打电话给行政部门，问他们能不能帮我修一修。他们却给了我另外一种解决方法：他们给了我一个工具箱。这就是我工作的地方。在我的学校只有百分之三十二的学生完成高中学业。

在三十年之前，我走进了这所学校开始了我的教学生涯，在那个时候其实我听到很多老师都在抱怨，他们根本都不喜欢教学，他们也非常讨厌自己的学生，他们也很讨厌当时的校长，他们甚至还讨厌彼此。我并不想成为他们中的一员。他们在教师会的时候就开始分发教学大纲。我就在想，为什么我要教这样一个教学大纲，因为事实证明这样的教学大纲是让学生很失败的。

所以，我现在想跟大家分享一下，为什么我的教室里的孩子跟别的（教室）孩子不一样原因。

我想问一下观众里面有多少是新老师，请举起手来示意一下。非常想认识大家。同时，我有一些坏的消息要给这些老师们，但是你们可能已经知道了这一点。——教学确是一件非常辛苦的、困难的工作，大家即将经历非常痛苦的日子。你们将经历着你们可能认为每一件事自己都做得很对，但是却经历着很不好的结果。我是一名非常诚实、坦率的老师，可能我今晚的的讲话也会使一些人感到一些不安，但是请不要朝我扔东西，因为我还想安全地回到美国。

我的孩子们确实全都可以从高中毕业，甚至大多数孩子们在高中毕业之后都能进入很好的大学，而且他们也完成了大学的学业。他们在自己的人生中也有过很多美好的创造。我将要和大家分享的是我是如何开始一年教学的三个秘诀。

第一件事是：己所不欲勿施于人。“施”是“施教”的“施”。因为每时每刻你的学生们都在看着你们。我希望我的孩子们对人友善，这就意味着我必须先要对人友善，任何的时候，即使是我在对他们生气的时候，即使是我想把这些孩子从窗户扔出去的时候。但我依然要很和蔼、和善，我从来不在我的课堂上提高我的声调。我希望我的孩子们努力地学习。在我的课堂是没有一个孩子是不努力学习的。你知道为什么吗？因为没有一个人比我更加努力工作的。我每天都是第一个到校，最后一个离开学校的老师。我从来不告诫我的孩子们：你们一定要努力学习啊，因为他们自己能够看到我是努力工作的。那么，现在呢，你们可能对我要说的话感到很生气、很不安。但是，因为我很诚实，我还是要说。有些时候，我对着这样的一群观众说话，我会注意到（台下）有些老师并不是在注意听我说话，他们可能在用手机发短信，可能在打盹。但是恰恰就是这些老师们在课堂上要求他们的学生们注意力集中。我觉得你根本就不能这么做，因为学生们其实每时每刻都在看着你们，他们非常地了解你，他们非常聪明。可以理解就是：己所不欲勿施于人。

第二点是我在教学生涯过了几年之后才发现的。很多的学生在学校里都很紧张，因为他们很害怕老师，他们也害怕考试分数低，但他们最最重要的是他们害怕被彼此嘲笑，他们非常害怕的是他们又做错了什么另外的学生嘲笑他们。我尽我所能把紧张和不安从第五十六号教室驱除出去。他们如果犯错的的话，我根本都不会很在意，当我的学生犯错误的时候，其他的孩子不会嘲笑他。我的孩子们都很勇敢，在之后我将要播放的视频中你们可以看到。在之后的视频当中，你们可以看到，有的孩子在表演当中甚至把自己的衣服都脱光了，在所有全班学生面前，甚至在他们的家长面前，甚至在他们全校同学面前，他们个个都无所畏惧。所以这就是为什么他们总是问我很多问题的原因。因为他们知道，他们问任何问题我都会回答，任何时候总是这样。但是我自己得出的一个最重要的事情（结论）是接下来我要说的（第三个秘诀）。这一点，在中国我说出来，会是非常危险的一件事情。大家准备好听我说下面的这句话：最重要的是，我对期末这场考试一点儿都不在意。在我看来测试是很重要，我们确实是要好好的去考试。我的孩子们考试成绩都很棒，因为我们时时刻刻都在准备。但我会教会我的学生们的是：这个期末考试并不是他全部的人生。我告诉他们真正的考试实际上是十年之后他们将要变成一个什么样的人。我想要在我的课堂上教给他们的是受用一生的技能和技巧。我确实也是按照学校的教学大纲来进行教学的。但是，这仅仅只是一个开始而已。对于学生来说，还有很多很多需要他们学习的东西。来自于全世界各地的人们都来参观我的教室。他们非常喜欢我的孩子非常聪明，也非常喜欢他们都是很有天赋的孩子，但是他们最喜欢的是我的学生们都有非常规范的行为，总是这样，任何时候，在48小时之内都是这样的。

我马上就要回到加州，在我回到美国第二天的时候，我将要带40个孩子去旅行十天，我将带着他们的行李开车700英里，但是孩子们却是从洛杉矶飞到目的地。40个学生，没有任何一个成年人陪伴他们，而且他们都是十岁的孩子。但是，肯定不会出现任何问题的。这就是我接着要和大家分享的原因所在。因为我在整年的学习中都教我的孩子们关于这六个阶段的道德意识。刚才，扈主任在介绍我的开场的时候引用了孔子的话，孔子总是告诫我们要看人的内心。人们总是问我，为什么我不喜欢那些穿着校服的孩子们，因为校服仅仅是这个孩子的外表而已，我更注重的是孩子的内心。下面我要和大家分享的是这六个阶段。

在开学的第一天，我会问我的学生们：为什么你们要在学校里学习？为什么你们坐在我的教室里听我讲课？这个时候，大多数孩子还是第一阶段的思想意识，因为他们认为他们如果不好好学习的话可能会留下麻烦。但是，这并不是我们要学习数学的原因，也不是我们阅读文学作品的原因，我们之所以做这些事情是因为这些对我们有益处，而不是我们怕惹麻烦，我告诉我的孩子们，他们在我的教室里不会惹上任何麻烦。如果我的孩子不做家庭作业的话，我会都觉得没什么所谓，因为这是他们的生活，他们的人生，因为我已经有我的大学毕业文凭了。你们就只管喜欢自己干什么就干什么。

那么接下来就是第二阶段。通常孩子们做一件事情的时候是为了得到奖励，也许我们想得到一张荣誉证书，一座奖杯，也许是墙上星星榜上的金星„„我告诉孩子这是非常可笑的想法，因为在我看来，阅读一本好书本身就是一种奖励，你根本不需要为此去追求一张证书。每一年我的学生都要排练一部莎士比亚的戏剧，他们要花费一整年的时间，几乎差不多5万个小时去排演练这场戏剧。来自世界各地的人们在每一年暑假的时候来观看他们的表演，在这些所有的艰辛的排练结束之后，所有的表演结束之后，我们不会去开心的去庆祝，因为这场演出本身就是一次聚会。他们根本都不需要因此而去获得什么奖励。

去年的时候，我们的校长这样跟我们说，我们学校就餐的地方非常的脏，到处都是饭渍、菜迹。他告诉学校的学生说，如果这个星期五这一星期结束的时候，午餐区非常干净的话，你们就可以得到一支冰淇淋。我的学生听到这话之后，就会互相对彼此说：“第二阶段，第二阶段。”在星期五的时候，我的学生的午餐区是非常干净的，所以，校长给了他们每人一支冰淇淋。来给学生奖励冰淇淋这个本身并没有什么错，因为我在我的课室里也经常给学生分发冰淇淋。但并不是说应为你把午餐桌保持干净我才给你冰淇淋。我们之所以要把午餐桌保持干净，是因为它对我们的健康有益。所以请大家不要成为有第二阶段思想意识的人。

接下来是第三阶段。第三阶段的思想意识在中国学生的思想里非常普遍。学生在学校的之所以非常努力的学习是为了取悦我们的老师。去年，有一群非常棒的中国学生来参观我的教室。他们非常可爱，而且他们的老师也很棒。他们在我们的教室给我们表演了两首歌曲。但是在表演过程中，他们非常的紧张。他们每唱一句歌词的时候，都会望向他们旁边的老师，像这样（雷夫模仿学生看向老师的动作。）在他们演唱结束后，我走向了这群孩子的身边。然后我告诉孩子们，大家都很棒，但是你们都不需要这么紧张，你们也就是在演唱而已，你们完全可以犯错误。然后还没等学生回答。老师就赶紧说：“他们根本都不紧张。”我说：“我觉得他们还是有那么一点点紧张。”老师又回答说：“不，他们一点都不紧张。”我对这位老师说：“谢谢你的回答，为什么不能让你的孩子直接回答我呢？”他就跟我讲：“我们没时间了。”但是我却是这样告诫我的学生们的：在你们完成一项美术作业的时候，你们不要举起来问我：“雷夫老师，你觉得我的这个美术作业怎么样？”为什么你自己不来作为评价美术作业的那个人？因为这是你自己的美术作业，我怎么看并不重要，重要的是你自己怎么看。

在美国，我也经常看到类似的情况发生。一位老师带着一群孩子去参观博物馆，他会告诫学生说：“不要到处乱跑。如果你到处乱跑的话，我会很难堪的。你们会让我在别人面前很难堪的，很尴尬。”我却告诉我的学生说：“你可以到处乱跑。”我对他们说：“如果你们到处乱跑的话，难堪的那个人不是我，而是你们自己。你自己很尴尬，我还是没有什么，我还是我。”所以，我的孩子们应该不是为了取悦老师而学习，因为这是孩子们自己的教育。

接下来是第四阶段：我们之所以这么做，是规则告诉我们这么做。我们可能会在墙上写下这些规则的标语。但是我会告诉我的的学生：当我去医院的时候我会保持安静。我不需要医院的墙上写着：“请保持安静”这样的标语，因为我去的是医院。我们并没有必要去写一些规则贴在墙上。如果大家能把自己的学生培养成待会儿我要说的第五个阶段的的话，大家就是非常成功的老师了。

第五个阶段的想法是，我之所以这样做事情，是因为我为别人着想。我的孩子不会告诉大家，我们在宾馆的房间里都很安静。他们之所以在宾馆的房间里保持安静，并不是怕惹上麻烦，也不是为了得到奖励而保持安静，他们也不是为了取悦我，在宾馆的房间里也不会有这样的规则写着：请保持安静。这就是第五阶段。（这时，会场上有一个小男孩在会场的走道上跑来跑去）我们需要教会这个小男孩怎样为别人着想，他也没有注意到其他的观众正在听我讲话。我的孩子们懂得这些。

我三天前曾经参观过一所学校。一所非常棒非常棒的小学。这些孩子为我进行了表演。有一些孩子在全班同学面前表演了一支舞蹈给我看，他非常的棒，这位表演者。这位男同学，他表演的是非常疯狂的一个舞蹈。他尽可能的去表现每一个舞步。但是，在这个舞蹈的过程中间，他突然停下来，使劲把（台下的）其中一个女同学给扯上来了。这位女同学实际上是一位非常害羞的小女孩。可是这个男孩根本不顾小女孩的情况，把她扯上来对她说：跟我一起跳吧！然后，台下坐着的孩子们都笑了，这位男生也笑了，所有在场的老师也笑了。但是这个小女孩却没有笑，其实已经伤害到了她。我也没有笑，因为我看到了她的眼神，她将在她一生当中都记得这一天。在场的老师告诉我，跳舞的这个男孩是这个学校最聪明的男孩。可能是这样的，但他绝对不是我的学生。因为她根本就没有为他的同学去考虑。我先把第六阶段放在这里，稍后我们再一起来分享第六阶段。为了让大家更近距离的了解我的教室是怎样的，我的学生是怎样的，我带了一些视频给大家看。我觉得大家在看这个视频的时候，更重要的应该去思考的是这个孩子他长大之后会是怎样。因为你们会看到，在这个教室里，甚至会有些20多岁的学生，他们所达到的成就，我觉得比他们在期末考试中考到到好分数更好。

在我的教学中，我通常都会不断地问学生这样一个问题，你也可以这样问你的学生，我觉得这个非常有效。当他们在做一项作业、一项课题的时候，你可以问他们：你为什要做这个东西？为什么你要做这道数学问题，为什么你们要去读这篇故事？大家想一下，大多数孩子会怎么说？大多数孩子回答我说：因为我的老师叫我这样做，我必须要这样做。我的学生可能会给大家一个不同的答案。

能不能有一位老师告诉我他教什么学科？（有人举手说：英语学科）

如果大家问我的学生，他正在写一篇作文，大家来问这个问题，你问他：为什么要写这个作文，我的学生会给你一个非常棒的答案：如果我学会了写作的话，我的人生会变得更美好。每一节课，我都会停下来问我的学生们，我们从中学到什么样的人生技能。让我来给大家举一个棒球的例子。

在我们开始练习棒球之前，我会问我的孩子们：为什么我们要练习棒球？（如果要练好棒球的话，我们要怎样做？）有的孩子会回答：如果我们要练好棒球的话，我们必须注意力集中；如果注意力不集中的话是打不到或者是接不到球的。然后我就会继续问我的孩子们，在现实生活中，谁必须要注意力集中？他们会回答我说：驾驶的时候要集中注意力呀，当牙医的也要集中注意力呀。我会继续追问学生：如果一个牙医在给你治疗的时候注意力不够集中的时候，你会继续让他给你治吗？我们今天学习的一些技能可能与这些（有关系）。我的孩子还可能会告诉你，（如果要练好棒球的话，）实际上棒球是一个团队的运动。你一个人是打不了棒球的。我会继续问他们，在现实生活中，哪些情况也是需要进行团队协作的呢？孩子们会回答我，在做生意里，商务里，护士也需要涉及到团队协作，老师也需要团队协作的精神的。

我会问：还会有其他的情况吗？我的学生还会告诉我：想要练习好棒球还必须要有序。你必须要注意到发球的顺序，你必须要知道到底谁是在哪个位置上打什么位置，在棒球练习结束之后还要把设备收拾好。这样的话我们明天还能继续用。然后，我会把它与现实生活结合起来，问他们，现实生活中有哪些情况需要这样？他们会告诉我，做会计这项工作需要有序，在做生意这个领域里，任何人都必须要有序。所以，我们在练习棒球的时候，我们不仅仅是练习的只是棒球。我们实际上是在为今后的人生做准备。

我的每一节课当中，都会涉及到这样的问题。这就是我的学生们能够努力学习的原因。他们并不是为我在学习。他们是在为自己学习。我希望大家能够再思考一下，今天晚上，我认为非常重要的一点。如果大家从我的讲座中只记得的一件事情的话，我希望大家记住这件事情。在中国的话，很多老师都会说，我教的是数学，我教的是初中学生。希望大家以后再回答这样的问题的时候，用另一种答案。人们常常问我：雷夫，你怎么能教所有的科目呢？对于我来说是非常简单的。为什么呢？因为我教的不是数学，我教的也不是科学，我教的也不是文学，我教的也不是音乐，我教的也不是美术，我教的不是五年级的学生。我教的是——学生！两个字，学生！（掌声）您教的并不是某一门具体的学科，您教的是学生。

我将要给大家展示的这个，大家可能会觉得非常的吃惊，但是如果大家像我这样做的话，也会得到这样的结果。很多年之前，我的学生被邀请去华盛顿去表演，他们表演的地方是美国的最高法院。大家从视频中可能看不到，但事实上台下坐着近两千名观众。我的学生在台上表演除了面对两千名观众，还要面对九名美国最高的法官。对于十岁的孩子来说，这确实是一个非常大的压力。他们甚至还没有时间和机会在这个舞台上进行彩排。下面大家看到的将是非常非常让人吃惊的，在这个视频中，大家可以看到一个男生，名字叫怀恩，他在表演中承担的角色是背诵一封信——在美国内战时期的一封信。他朗诵的这封信是一位美国士兵写给妻子的。这封信，是在一场战役之前写给妻子的，在信中他表达了对妻子无限的爱，也告诉她，在那一天，他可能会牺牲。但在这位士兵心里，他觉得他爱他的妻子，但他更爱他的祖国。他在信中写道，如果他牺牲了，他的妻子以后感觉到轻风拂面的时候，那将会是他。在表演之前，怀恩和我们一起都排练了很多很多次，他表现得非常好。

但是，在表演那天，在演出的时候，发生了这样的事情。这样的事情呢其实是会发生在老师把学生作为教育的中心的时候。这样的事情这样的表现也会发生在，表演的孩子不是看着他的老师，而是看着他自己，注意他自己。请大家在观看视频的时候，仔细的观察这位孩子。在他朗诵的时候，在他开始朗诵不久，他自己决定，要用不同的另外一种方式去背诵这封信。就好像大家能够从他的脸上可以看到他的脑子里面自己在思考。大家可以注意到他的气息发生的变化，也注意看他的眼神。准备好，您可能会哭。因为在听完他的背诵之后，大家都哭了。表演结束后，观众都到后面来找躲在幕后的我。他们称赞我说：“雷夫，你真是个天才！”但是，我自己跟这个孩子的表现一点关系都没有，一点点关系也没有。我仅仅做的就是，把这个稿子给他，然后让他去熟读去理解。这个孩子的表现，真的就是他自己的表现，跟我一点关系也没有。所以，我请求在座的老师们能够放弃一点点控制，然后能把这一点点控制的权利、掌控的权力还给我们的学生们。让他们从自己的错误中去学习，让他们跌倒。如果大家这样做的话，视频当中这个孩子的表现将是您的学生的表现。

这就是我的秘诀——我和我的学生们一起做我喜欢、我们喜欢做的事情。（第六阶段）其实，在座的老师们都有自己热爱的某一项爱好，但我们老师终日为了追赶教学大纲，与之保持一致的时候，其实大家已经放弃了自己到底是谁。

我自己是非常喜欢莎士比亚的，当然啦，老师们并不需要喜欢莎士比亚。但是，我喜欢。我也很喜欢摇滚乐。每一天，我都会去弹奏。我也经常听摇滚乐。所以还在当我早年的教学当中，我每一天放学之后都会和学生一起开始排练莎士比亚戏剧。很多中国老师听到我说这样的话都会对我说：雷夫，你根本都不了解中国的实际情况，家长们肯定不会让我这么做的。他们根本都不喜欢任何放学后的课外活动。他们所在意的就是考试分数。

我自己有一个很重要的戒条，就是我从来都不去和人去争论。在我刚刚开始莎士比亚戏剧教学的时候，也是非常非常少的孩子来参加，家长们也一点儿都不感兴趣。在我第一年开始的时候，我的目标是教四十个孩子。但是最后只有五个孩子（继续学习），其中的有三个孩子之所以来，还是他们的母亲想让我帮忙照顾一下这三个孩子。大家还记得我刚才说的，我们为什么要做我们现在从事做的东西。只要是和我一起练习过莎士比亚戏剧的孩子们，之后对语言都很在行，他们的阅读能力和写作能力都变得非常好。他们在公众场合说话的能力和水平也变得很好。对于我来说，我觉得一个在学习音乐的孩子，实际上他每时每刻（都在数数），必须是非常集中注意力，才能成为一个小音乐家的。如果一个人能成为一个音乐家的话，那么他肯定在数学方面是很在行的。

在第一年，这五个孩子和我一起练习莎士比亚戏剧之后，他们的期末考试成绩在全班前列，非常非常靠前，简直是非常令人震惊的靠前（在这次标准化考试中）。三十年过去了，在我现在的课室里，在我下午放学留下来和我一起排练莎士比亚戏剧的有成百个孩子。我从来都不和家长们争论。但当初说不感兴趣的那帮家长在三十年后都表现出了非常浓厚的兴趣。

但是我也意识到，我如果想把我这个班变成一个摇滚乐团的话，我自己首先要去学习很多乐器。在我刚开始教学的时候，我是一个非常好的吉他手。但是我现在却要教我的孩子们打鼓、钢琴、管乐、大提琴、手风琴、一种印第安的打击乐器。这些乐器在待会儿的视频中都可以看到。大家还记得吗，刚开始讲座的时候，我说孩子们会时时刻刻在注意着我们，注意着老师。我其实并不是非要去做这些事情，我也不擅长做这些事情，所以我需要寻求帮助。我需要向那些比我更擅长这些乐器的人学习。我也要继续保持练习。我要通过练习来做得更好。难道这不就是我们想要学生学到的东西吗？难道我们就不想他们向我们寻求帮助吗？天天保持练习，努力做到更好。

三十年之后，我现在教的这些孩子们，他们弹奏的非常好，他们也不需要这样去看着我，他们就自顾自的在那里演奏。他们也没有课后一对一的去指导练习。他们为什么会变得这么棒呢？他们为什么能够像专业的演员一样去表演莎士比亚戏剧呢？

我再给大家一个可能感到对我生气的机会——我从来都不布置家庭作业！

我觉得家庭作业非常糟糕。大家老师还是学生的时候，肯定也非常讨厌做家庭作业。是的吗？（是）大家之所以做家庭作业，是不想惹麻烦。我认为做家庭作业，并不是能学习到更多。我的孩子们放学回家之后都是去练习弹奏乐器。他们用他们回家的课后时间都去练习怎么样去“说”语言。我觉得这是更好的家庭作业。我的学生们从来都不看电视，他们也不玩电脑游戏。他们都非常想弹奏他们想要弹奏的任何乐器。他们并不想浪费时间去玩电子游戏。我的学生会想：为什么我能弹奏真实的吉他的时候，为什么我要去弹电脑上模拟的吉他呢？

下面我要将要给大家展示的是，为什么在我三十年的教育生涯中，还能保持如此高的热情的原因。我要给大家播放的是过去五年里的我的学生们表演莎士比亚戏剧的集锦。我希望大家能够帮我一个忙，在座的老师们并不是非要也喜欢上莎士比亚。请大家观看视频的时候，注意一下他们的自信，看一下他们的坚持，看一下他们努力的结果，看一下他们享受的自由，看一下他们是怎样集中注意力的。大家可以看到的是在我的教室里发生的这些特殊的景象。这些舞台、灯光都是我的学生自己设计的，戏剧的每一个环节，每一个细节都是我的学生们自己去做的。

你们喜欢做什么？有没有喜欢烹饪的老师？我希望喜欢烹饪的老师能够花一些时间把烹饪（这个元素）融到自己的课堂教学中去，想一想学生们能从中学到什么；想一想他们如果做出一个美餐的话，其他的孩子都会怎样的去感受。

有喜欢跑步的老师吗？我觉得这些老师可以建立起一个小小的跑步俱乐部。我的一个同事每天和他的学生们一起跑五英里的路。它使师生关系变得更加紧密，然后这些学生回到教室里的时候，他们会变成很好的学生。如果大家把自己，把真我放在课堂上，放在教学中的话，你就不会感到疲倦。

我相信我的前三十年的教学生涯是非常成功的，我相信我后面的三十年也一样会是很棒的，甚至更棒。世界上有很多莎士比亚戏剧的表演爱好者，他们认为我的学生是最好的表演者。让我们观看一下小小莎士比亚集锦。在结束今天的主题演讲之前，我想问大家一个问题，是关于一个非常有名的一个人，我觉他在中国也非常有名。因为我看到有的学生穿着他的球衣。我想问的是关于科比的。有多少人知道他？很多人，很多学生都认为他（科比）是一个英雄。其实，在我的城市洛杉矶也是如此。但是，我跟我的学生说的是，他不是一个英雄。他曾经在酒店的房间里打过一个女士，他曾经多次背叛自己的妻子。他的队友甚至都很讨厌他，甚至都没有人想要跟他一起打比赛。在我看来他是一个混蛋。我并不否认他是一个伟大的篮球运动员，但是在我看来他并不是一个英雄。在座的各位老师才是真正的英雄，因为大家每天都在帮助别人。我们每天走进教室的时候都是在给学生树立一个榜样，每一次都会鼓励那些惹麻烦的孩子。所以，在我心里，大家才是真正的英雄。我相信大家的鼓励会有更多的回报。非常感谢大家今天晚上的聆听。附 李建民校长的即兴评论： 听了雷夫老师的演讲，我有三点感想：

第一点就是雷夫老师所说的，“因为我教的不是数学，我教的也不是科学，我教的也不是文学„„我教的是——学生！” 现在，中国有些地方的学生就是拼命在为了分数而学，为了考试而学、为了家长而学。这样的教育走向了反面，走向了异化。而我们看到雷夫老师的所作所为，他把教育的权利、把教育还给了学生。我们看到很多学校，包括我们学校，我们的老师，就是真正把学习的主动权还给了学生，学习是学生生命的需要，而不是老师和外界强加于他们的。

有人说，有些地方存在这样的现象：学生喜欢读小说，但是不喜欢学语文；喜欢活动，不喜欢体育课；喜欢唱歌，不喜欢音乐课„„这是为什么呢，这就是我们的教育忽视了学生的个性、兴趣爱好。那么雷夫老师在一个生源比较差的学校，但他从戏剧活动入手，把学生的学习兴趣调动起来，而不是简单地从学科知识入手。他能从孩子的兴趣入手，让孩子们喜欢学校、喜欢老师、喜欢这个教室、喜欢学习。从而让他们的人生自信、阳光。这一点非常重要。这是第一点感受。第二点就是雷夫老师几次提到的“己所不欲勿施于人”。我觉得这一点给我印象非常深刻。我们的道德教育、德育教育为什么总是很难成功，甚至失败？我们的德育课很多，我们有很多班会课，很多其他的课程，都在教育学生该做什么样的人。但是我们忽视了一点，那就是我们老师自己在做什么。反观我们有些老师的行为：要求学生不要大声喧哗，他自己却在大声喧哗；不让学生带手机，他却可以带手机进教室；不让学生抽烟，他却可以抽烟；教育学生随手捡起地上的垃圾纸屑，他却对这些垃圾纸屑无动于衷„„我想，这种现象就是失败的德育，这就是失败的教育。

我经常讲到一句话，学校无小事，事事皆教育；教师无小节，处处做楷模。因为你的一言一行，一举一动，时时刻刻都在熏陶着每一个孩子。这就是我们讲的率先垂范、为人师表。这一点是难能可贵的。我们看到雷夫的教室，没有这么多的规则、也没有这么多的道德教育，但他用自己的一言一行在影响着学生。

在讲座中，我们看到两个细节，这两个细节让我们感到汗颜。第一个就是那个孩子，雷夫是怎样教育的，要知道怎样尊重别人、理解别人。包括我本人也受到了批评，刚才我和扈主任商量会场布置的事情，在窃窃私语的时候，雷夫老师就这样示意着我们了。我感到我们做的很不合适。所以，我们要时时反思自己。只要我们的教育过程中细节到位，要求学生做到的，自己首先做到。我想我们的教育就成功了，就不需要大的口号，不需要大的理论。

第三点感受就是，作为教师还需要一些奉献精神。我们看到雷夫老师所在的学校，他的收入是中等偏下的，但是很多更高待遇的学校邀请他去，他却拒绝了。包括他现在的演讲，他演讲的收入都放进了一个教育基金里来资助那些贫困学生。另外，我们看到，雷夫每天6点钟第一个到校，最后一个离校。他之所以在56号教室创造了奇迹，和他热爱学生、乐于奉献的精神紧密相关的。所以，今天雷夫的演讲给我们带来了很多的思考、反思。

我想，大家的感受可能更强烈。雷夫老师可能和我们在座的每一位老师一样，都是一个平凡的、默默无闻的老师。但他能在自己的岗位上、在那几十平方的教室里面默默的耕耘着、创造着自己的奇迹。（正如雷夫老师所说的），我们在座的每一位老师都是英雄，都是能用我们的行动创造着奇迹的英雄！谢谢大家！