分手信中英文

第一篇：分手信中英文

the silent love dear john is one of the representative books written by the famous american author whose name is nicholas sparks, and this novel has been adapted to a film.the novel?s main line is the love between the hero john and the heroine savannah, going with its happening and missing.as another invisible line in novel, john?s father?s figure is changing and developing crisscross in john?s eyes.and it?s all about love.what i will discuss is john?s father?s love to his son.once on the bus, i occasionally saw an old man working hard for this city under the flyover, looking poor.time has left layers of wrinkles on his face and the burning sun makes his skin dark.it really stroke my heart.the man is old enough to live out their life in retirement, but he still work on the bottom of society for his family.all we can see, on the way to the urbanization, so many old people sacrifice their sunset in life while many sons and daughters are not responsible to support the whole family.the city will be empty without the love between parents and children.1.lasagna:意大利烤宽面条（ps: how to make lasagna.)2.macaroni 意大利空心面，通心粉 3.--john: you are starting to make me a little neverous.--savannah: why am i starting to make you nervous?---john: because i am starting to think you might be too good of a person for me,---savannah: i am not that good of a person.4.sneak off to do sth.偷偷做某事 5.filthy 污秽的，肮脏的 6.retarded n.智障 v.推迟，阻塞 ：（retard)7.autistic n.孤独症患者 adj.孤独的，自闭的 8.leftover n.残余物，剩下的饭菜 adj.残留的道歉的话： sorry.i didn’t mean to make you feel that..i have no idea what i was talking about.9 reenlist v.延长服役篇三：分手信读后感

‘love means that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own,no matter how choices you face might be.’’ ‘i wanted them to be happy,i wanted her to be happy.”these sentence are impress me a lot,it is john who showed me what is true love.john lives in a single parent home.in his childhood,he is a mistaken boy who don’t know what is true love.after graduated from high school,he is no longer continued to go to university.he smoke,cut classes,fought,and drunk in the bar.in a word,he did lots of bad things.then he changed many works,and girlfriends,but no one fits him.then he joined the army.and he got changed.he got tattoos.he began to read,surfing in the sea is his hobby.because of this hobby,he met the most important girl who is named savannah.they fell in love quickly.but for me,it is not quickly.because after i read more than thirty pages, they finally get together.but they had only two weeks good time.because john had to back to the army.john promised that he would be released from military each other everyday.savannah said that she always fell asleep with worries.as retiring approached,the war was exploded.john had to back to the army.i can’t imagine how disappointed they felt in that time.i know we can write and talk on the phone now and then.and we could see each able to see your silly expressions.we won’t be able to lie on the beach together and stare at stars.we won’t be able to sit across from each other and talk and share secrets.and i won’t feel your arm around me,like i do now.’’time and distant can change something.sometime,love is leaving.the september 11th happened.it is army’s duty to sacrifice themselves.happiness was approaching.but unhappiness ran faster than happiness.what they expected thing lost.if i were john,i would stayed at army too.and i believed that true love can afford to wait.but as a girl,i think there is nothing wrong with savannah.the old saying is woman can not afford to wait.’’peaceful life is savannah’s dream.so she chose to tim who is a warm man always behind her.i’m admire his kindness and his love to savannah.he was not ask anything about what happened when savannah was in an indecent man’s bed.at savannah’s most difficult time,tim is the only person that savannah can rely.tim didn’t say anything just fetch savannah to her home.so in that time i think savannah’s chosen is right.the most dramatic thing is that tim was ill.john had never changed his love to savannah.when john’s father dead.john went to drop in savannah.he wanted to know how is savannah’ s life going?the most touching moment was they stare at each other.lots of things invaded their heart.as a sentence said ‘i designed lots of ways to meet you.but this is the only way i didn’t imagined.’’john said if i were you i would wait.’’but it is too late.at that moment,i didn’t say who didn’t catch the true love.it’s fate that sent savannah away from john.‘watching her i felt a sudden pain in my throat.not because she was married to tim,and not at the thought of seeing them both tomorrow.it came from watching savannah as i was driving away.standing on her porch,crying into her hands.’’i believe that they still love each other in that time.but as time went by,they can’t each other.the most simple greeting ‘hey,john ?’’ yeah?’’we can’t imagine what they were thinking after long time no see.he sold his father’s coins and send money to tim.the coins are invaluable,and it was the only thing john’s father left for him.john is such a poor guy.from john i can see how powerful love it is.love is not only own,but also make her happy.i think savannah is fortunately.she has two men love her deeply.but she is also unfortunately.it’s hard for her to chose.love is like gambling.woman would devote all their life to her husband.somebody in your life is just take a lesson to you,then they left.so we should thanks all the people in our life whatever they brought to us.maybe savannah is just a passer-by in john’s life.in our daily life,we meet many many kinds of people.someone bring happiness to us and someone bring sadness to us.we should know thank all of them.without the help of savannah’s help,misunderstanding to his can’t change.i think the true lover needn’t together with each other all the time.sometime leave is love.if john didn’t sent money to tim,he can wait for him dead.then he would get savannah.but he didn’t do that.i i think in university,true love is inspire each other to be better.not talk on the phone all the time.not go to see a movie or go to shopping.we should improve our ability and learn more knowledge.actually,i can’t say if i were john or if i were savannah what i will do.because everyone has their own thoughts.but be a person who know what is love is important.and be a kind person.thanks to all the people in our life whatever pain or happiness they brought to us.篇四：理智与爱情(中英台词完整版)理智与爱情

你儿子从伦敦回来了

your son is arrived from london.-爸...-约翰...john...我在遗嘱有交代...我当初继承诺兰庄园的条件是...you will see in my will the estate of norland was left to me in a waythat prevents me from dividing it between my two families.因此...诺兰现在依法归你所有

norland, in its entirety, is therefore yours by law.我为你和芬妮感到高兴 and l am happy for you and fanny.但你继母...我的太太和你姐妹们 每年祗得百英镑 but your stepmother, my wife and daughters are left only a year.仅能糊口 你的姐妹们的嫁妆都没有着落 barely enough to live on.nothing for the girls dowries.-你一定要帮助她们-这当然

of course.你一定要向我保证

you must promise to do this.我保证，父亲 我保证

l promise, father.l promise.帮她们？什么意思？

help them? what do you mean? without question.more than amply.这种事情，宁可要大方一点 one had rather.on such occasions.do too much than too little.当然，爸又没有指定要给多少

of course, he did not stipulate a particular sum.那你觉得千百英镑如何？ what do you say to ， then? 别人对亲妹妹都没这么好 更何况是同父异母 what brother would be so kind to his real sisters.let alone half-blood?-她们不能奢望太多-问题是你能给多少？ what can you afford? 每年给继母英镑 总比一次拿千百英镑好 a year to their mother is better than losing , at once.她若再活年以上 那我们岂不是亏大了 people live forever when an annuity is to be paid them.偶尔给个英镑也就行了 你说得对 now and then will amply discharge my promise, youre right.我相信你父亲 也没指望你拿钱给她们 lm convinced that your father had no idea of giving them money.-反正她们一年会得到百英镑-她们还奢求什么？ what more could they want for? 她们根本没开销，既没有马 也没几个仆人，又不交朋友...她们说不定还有余力给你钱 they will be much more able to give you something.玛丽安，你可否弹别首曲子？ marianne.can you play something else? 妈从一早哭到现在

mamma has been weeping since breakfast.我是指比较不悲伤的曲子

l meant something less mournful.竟然叫我们反客为主！我咽不下这口气，爱琳娜 a visitor in my own home!lt is not to be borne.elinor.-妈，我们无处可去-约翰和芬妮马上就到了 john and fanny will be here soon.别想叫我满脸笑容的欢迎他们 贪得无厌！

我马上开始找房子

l will start making inquiries for a new house at once.在此之前，我们必须要忍耐一下

玛格丽特，你在上面吗？快下来 约翰和芬妮马上就到了 why are they to live at norland? they have a house in london.因为房子是传子而非传女 这是法律的规定 houses go from father to son, not father to daughter.lt is the law.-走，我们去玩你的地图集-不是我的，是他们的了 do sit down.我们在另找房子 搬家后，祗能雇用汤玛士和贝丝 we are looking for a new home, and can only retain thomas and betsy.很遗憾我们得分手了

were sorry to have to leave you all.不过我们相信新女主人，戴太太会好好善待各位 but we are certain you will find the new mrs.dashwood a fair mistress.我祗关心她们何时才会搬走 my only real concern is how long it will take them to move out.-费洛斯太太好吗？-家母身体一向很好

she is always in good health.舍弟在伦敦陪她 他可是个万人迷 my brother is with her this season.quite the most popular bachelor.他有一辆敞蓬马车 he has his own barouche.-你有两个弟弟吧？-对，大的叫爱德华 yes.edward is the elder.他要从普利茅斯来这住几天 hes travelling up from plymouth and will break his journey here.-当然如果你们同意的话...-亲爱的约翰

dear john...现在这个家是你们的了 this is your home now.-芬妮要餐具柜子的钥匙-她要干嘛？ what does fanny want with it? 想必是要清点，你在干嘛？ one can presume she wants to count it.what are you doing? 给雇人的礼物，你有看到 玛格丽特吗？她到处躲 gifts for the servants.where is margaret? shes taken to hiding.-至少她可以躲开芬妮-你也没跟她说半句话 youve not said a word to her.我有呀！我有说“是”和“不是”

l have.lve said yes and no.早安，芬妮

good morning, fanny.早安，玛丽安

good morning, miss marianne.餐具怎么样？都是纯银的吧？ how did you find the silver? was it all genuine?-令弟什么时候来？-爱德华明天会到 edward is due tomorrow.他不会待太久 玛格丽特的房间能否让给他？ he will not stay long.will margaret give up her room for him? 那房间的景致最美 我想让他瞧瞧诺兰之美

mrs.dashwood.miss dashwood.miss marianne.舍弟爱德华费洛斯

my brother, edward ferrars.请坐

do sit down.玛格丽特呢？ 我不禁开始怀疑她的存在了 where is miss margaret? lm beginning to doubt of her existence.费先生，请您原谅 么女最近很怕生人 forgive us, mr.ferrars.my youngest is shy of strangers at present.我自己也怕生人 却不像她有个好理由 l am shy of strangers myself, and l have nothing like her excuse.还喜欢窗户外的景致吗？ 费先生

how do you like your view, mr.ferrars? 很喜欢，你们的马厩很漂亮 打理得很好 very much.your stables are handsome and beautifully kept.马厩？你窗外应该是一池湖水

stables? your windows overlook the lake.我原本被带到主人房间 我发现错误之后 an error led me to a family room, but lve rectified the situation.便住在客房，那里很舒适

l am happily installed in the guest quarters.喝茶吧！tea!她们都被宠坏了 玛格丽特很爱爬树到处躲 theyre all spoilt.miss margaret is always up trees and under furniture.玛丽安也没对我说上半句好话

lve barely had a civil word from marianne.她们的父亲刚过世 生活情况完全改观 theyve just lost their father.their lives will never be the same.这不是藉口 that is no excuse.书房 library.-这些大部份是外文书-真是太棒了 lndeed.magnificent.我讨厌书的味道

lve never liked the smell of books.也许是灰尘的缘故吧 听说你胡桃园兴工 the dust, perhaps.l hear you have great plans for the walnut grove.我要把把它铲平盖一座希腊式神殿 l shall have it knocked down to make place for a grecian temple.听起来不错 你要不要带我参观一下？

that does sound interesting.would you show me the site? 太贵了，况且我们不需要 间卧房，可以合睡 too expensive, and we do not need four bedrooms.we can share.那这个好了 this one.then.我们一年祗有英镑

we have only a year.我今天再写信打听

lll send out more inquiries today.恕我打扰了，我想我已经...找到你们所想要找的 pardon my intrusion, but l think l have found what youre looking for.你出来好不好 我们有一整天没见到你了

要加盖 雇人会告诉你时间的 well have to enlarge it.mattocks will help you adjust to our hours.对不起 你们有没有一本好的地图？

forgive me, do you by any chance have a reliable atlas?-应该有的-我想查尼罗河的位置 l must check the niles position.我姐姐说是在南非

my sister tells me it is in south america.不对！不，她搞错了

no!no, shes quite wrong.应该是在...比利时

l believe it is in belgium.不会吧？你讲的是窝瓦河

surely not.you must be thinking of the volga.-窝瓦河的源头是在...-海参崴，流到...ln vladivostok.and ends in...-温布登-没错，那里产咖啡豆

尼罗河的源头是在阿布西尼亚 the source of the nile is in abyssinia.是吗？真有意思

ls it? lnteresting.-幸会，爱德华费洛斯-玛格丽特戴虚伍 margaret dashwood.他家就在旁边 能买下来就太好了

lt adjoins this property, and would be a desirable addition.-我会去找他谈谈...他姓什么？-吉伯森

gibson.-他应该很乐意出售才对-他一定会漫天喊价 hell want more than it is worth.痛不痛？ have l hurt you? 谢谢 对不起篇五：英汉互译 译文比较 当年我俩分手时 when we two parted by george gordon byro 姓名：杨春丽

班级：13-2bs 序号：26 content 1，美诗展示 2，原诗鉴赏 3，不同译本赏析 4，结论

5，参考文献 1，美诗展示

when we two parted 想当年我们俩分手(卞之琳)when we two parted 想当年我们俩分手，n silence and tears, 也沉默也流泪，half broken-hearted, 要分开好几个年头 to sever for years, 想起来心就碎;pale grew thy cheek and cold, 苍白，冰冷，你的脸;colder thy kiss;更冷是嘴唇;truly that hour foretold 当年真是像预言 sorrow to this!今天的悲痛。the dew of the morning 早晨的寒露在飘荡，sunk chill on my brow;冷彻了眉头-it felt like the warning 仿佛是预先警告我 of what i feel now.今天的感受。thy vows are all broken,你抛了所有的信誓，and light is thy fame: 声名也断送;i hear thy name spoken 听人家讲你的名字，and share in its shame.我也会脸红。they name thee before me, 人家当我面讲你 a knell to mine ear;我听来像丧钟-they know not i knew thee 谁知道我本来认识你，who knew thee too well: 认识得太相熟：-long,long shall i rue thee 我今后会长久惋惜你，too deeply to tell.沉痛到说不出！in secret we met: 你我在秘密中见面 in silence i grieve 我如今就默哀 hat thy heart could forget, 你怎好忍心来欺骗。thy spirit deceive.把什么忘怀！

if i should meet thee 多年后万一在陌路 after long years, 偶尔再相会，how should i greet thee?-我跟你该怎样招呼？with silence and tears.用沉默，用眼泪。2，原诗鉴赏

诗一开始就是一对恋人负气决裂的压抑场面。用语极为简单朴素，绝大多数是单音节字。原诗每行四音部抑扬格和三音部抑扬格交错，在节奏上衬托出一咏三叹、回旋复沓的缠绵效果，很好的表现了诗人发自内心的沉重叹息。韵律是隔行押韵，尾音d和s高低错落，长元音a和双元音ou多处出现，从音韵上淋漓尽致的表现了诗人和恋人分手时的爱恨交加的矛盾和痛苦心情。3，不同译本赏析

一小节的各自特色来分析。这首诗历史上曾有过不同的译体，下面以不同译本在第 3.1陈锡麟的五言译诗：昔日依依别，泪流默无言；

离恨肝肠断，次别又几年。

一吻寒更添；

日后伤心事，此刻已预言。（王宏印，2004：47）

整体而言，译诗节奏分明，铿锵有力，措词典雅，很有古典诗歌韵味。

但译诗作为独立的艺术品，自身要求协调、统一，格律译诗只有和古诗传统中的原始意象浑然一体，才能在译诗内做到不露痕迹。而陈锡麟采用的古典五言体有其严谨的体制，也有自己约定俗成的诗歌语言，会生发出一种特有的意境和韵味，和原诗固有的情趣发生矛盾。

第二篇：英文求职信中的常用语句

英文求职信中的常用语句如下，求职者在写英文求职信时不妨予以借鉴参考。

1.Ihavebeenforoverfiveyearsintehemployofanexportingcompany.本人曾经前后五年被受雇于出口贸易公司。

2.Ihavebeeninthebusinessforthelasttenyears,andworkedasthesuperintendentinthepersonneldepartment.本人在过去十年在商界担任人事部主任迄今。

3.ihavehadfiveyearsexperiencewithacompanyasasalesman.本人曾在某一公司担任推销员，前后有五年之久。

4.Forthepastthreeyears,IhavebeenintheofficeoftheBrothersTradingCo.,whereIhavebeenadstillamanaccountant.本人曾经在兄弟贸易公司服务三年，担任会计工作，现仍在职中。

5.Iamtwentyyearsofage,andhavebeenemployedforthelasttwoyearsbytheGreenTreesCo.,intehgeneralclericalworkoftheoffice.我今年20岁，曾于绿林公司服务两年，担任一般文员工作。

6.Iam25yearsofage,andhavehadtwoyearsexperienceinmypresentpost,whichIamleavingtobettermyself.我今年25岁，已在目前的职位工作两年，兹为寻找更上一层楼，准备离开此职位。

7.Iamnineteenyearsofage,femaleandhavehadtwoyearsexperienceinacompanysdeliveryoffice.我今年19岁，女性。曾在某家公司担任收发工作两年。

8.Iamjustleavingschool,andameighteenyearsofage.本人18岁，不久即可毕业。

9.Iamtwentyyearsofage,andamanxioustosettledowntoofficework.本人20岁，希望能找到一个公司，以便安定下来。

10.Sincemygraduationfromtheschooltwoyearsago,IahvebeenemployedintehGreenHotelasacashier.两年前，自从离校后，在格兰酒店担任出纳员。

阅读本文的人还阅读了：求职信的写作规则求职信的正确写法求职信的致胜要点

第三篇：信中

离别感言

首先，做下自我介绍，我叫郭超男，是内部组的老老同事，在座的新同事应该都没见过我，由于种种原因，之后没有在招新期间去看大家，很抱歉。现在很开心看到办公室又迎来一批充满活力的新同事，又觉得很欣慰，我们可以放心隐退了。很遗憾上学期只有一次会议是在这里开的，也就是上一届的老同事欢送会，当时的心情依旧清晰，只是现在变得坦然了。是的，我要离开这里了。

我不知道一杯酒里的光阴到底有多长，值不值得去回味？我不知道一颗流星划过时的时间到底有多久，值不值得去追求？我不知道一季花开的时间到底能灿烂几时，值不值得去守候？我也不知道我还能坚持多久，为你驻足在原地，默守着属于我们的回忆。

一年前的现在，带着期盼，带着动力，带着对办公室的向往，我成为了信息中心的一份子。那是个细雨连绵的日子，从气氛紧张的办公室走出来，我如释重负，第一次在大学接触如此严肃的场合，紧张，激动，害怕，不适应。在这个即将改变我大学生活的地方，我下定决心，我要留在这里。然后，我也知道，我曾经所有的付出都是值得的。陌生的人和环境，让腼腆的我不得不开始试着让自己改变。那时的日子，忙碌而充实，当我满口的抱怨着“还有几篇没采呢，还有值班，忙不过来了”的时候，我知道，我的心是满足的，我喜欢这样的生活，我知道，我要的我找到了。一路走来，多少开心难忘的事，全部都会成为我心底最珍贵最美好的回忆。

很久之前去办公室的时候就已经感觉到了我们真的，不知道怎么说，因为我还是舍不得说出这一句离开。看着忙碌着的新同事们，我总是安慰自己：他们长大了，成长了。铁打的办公室，流水的同事，我们的离去不就是为了更好的传承下去么？默默的看着他们，更是感觉到自己已是置身事外，我们不放手，他们又怎么能飞的更高呢？

低凌的心情，散乱的相聚，片段的美好，在这个微凉的季节里滋长。想到我们一起经历的这么多事，好想都用优美的语言描述出来，却又觉得现在什么都写不出来„„那时初进办公室的不适，到渐渐混的开熟的同事们；那时经常一起做会议记录到很晚，到一起走在寝室的路上浩荡的队伍；那时一起端着热乎乎的奶茶，还不时开玩笑斗嘴的愉悦；那时一起去采稿时的热闹和壮观，第一排总是坐满了信中的人；那时迎新时累的半死却依然坚守，只因为有大家的相伴才让一切变得轻松，充满快乐。还有后来第一次中稿时让我觉得很得意，因为那时新同事中稿的人还不多，我是我们组第一个，那时候蒙亚东吕博他们的稿子写的很稀烂，我也不好意思笑他，现在可以揭他的老底了。当然中稿时开心的心情更激励我要写好稿子，想写的更好，中的更多。还有在六栋二教后面的活动以及去年夏天的那次排练，我会一直记得，那晚生日时大家一起为我唱的生日快乐歌，围着我都觉得很不好意思了。不过真的很感动，第一次这么多人为我庆祝生日。还有一起聚餐时真挚的交谈；期盼很久的春游到变成夏游，回来就晒黑了，不过才发现办公室有些人适合做贤妻良母，有些人好吃懒做；还有一起在操场上转圈圈，溜冰，K歌···后来才发现办公室有些人唱歌是很疯狂的。这一年，想想很长，过起来却是如此短暂，往昔依旧，眼前重复的竟然是以前的光景，最可怕的是，记忆丝毫没有模糊。这才重新感叹，时光荏苒。原来我还记得这么多，还有很多人很多事，说不清„„

第一次参加老同事欢送会完时，当时不停的在做会议记录，只觉得这些人能说的太多了，然后觉得这是一群性情中人，用情好深。当时哭哭啼啼的老同事，还真让我黯然了好久，然后还得强忍着做了一晚上的记录。第二次欢送会时才有时间细细聆听老同事们，那时的我们已经脱不了干系了，他们叙述的每一件事都是历历在目，又是强忍着听完了一晚上的叙述。第一次是无知，第二次是感动。现在，轮到我了，我依旧得听着大家说完，这一次却是离别。

信中的生活带给我无尽的收获，长路漫漫，前面不知还有多少荆棘，每当我遇到困难时，我都会想起在信中的日子，不管是现在还是将来，都会给予我无限的精神力量支持着我坚持到底。千言万语，现在我想对在座的新同事们说：没有什么光明大道平坦的摆在你面前等你走过，只有自己慢慢摸索，敢于拼搏，做一个不甘于平凡的人；你们现在所拥有的，应该庆幸，而不应该觉得这本就属于我，没有任何事务是不需努力就能得到的，要想离自己的梦想和目标更近一步，你就得一点一滴付出；做一个持久抗压的人，现在的大学生活有了更广阔的空间，我们现在所做的一切是为了自己以后的生活和幸福，现实的社会是残酷的，以后没有老同事宽容你帮助你，在困难挫折面前我们应该敢于担当，能够经得起打击，付出才有收获，没有付出是一定不会有收获的，只有经过苦难的磨练才能练就成熟的人生。而老同事们也已经从青涩变得成熟，现在是考验你们的阶段，记住，做任何事情要变主动为被动，做事情更要深思熟虑，而更多的也是需要你们带着责任和信中的未来，办公室现在在你们手上了，希望你们能够让信中变得更好。

人生若只如初见，多好，可是，却不会有至深之情，不会有至深之友。月有阴晴圆缺，我不会觉得后悔。离开是痛苦的，但我知道是为了什么。

有一段时光，我从未曾忘怀，不是因为舍不得，而是刻的实在太深太深„

2011.4.8 17:11

第四篇：出国公司派遣信中英文

派遣信

兹证明xx女士,出生于x年x月x日，护照号码：Gxxxxxxxxx，自2006年起至今在xxxxxx有限公司，任公司总经理一职，月收入约30000RMB。由于本公司业务需要，现公司决定派遣xx女士于2012年9月15日至2012年9月30日期间赴英国进行商务考察和谈判。一切费用包括机票、住宿、餐费、保险等都由我公司承担。在此期间我公司将为他保留职位，并保证她能够按时回国。

xxxxxxx有限公司

人事经理：xxx

电话：xxxxxxxxxx

传真：xxxxxxxxxx

2012年9月10日

Dispatch letter

To: the Embassy of UK in Shanghai

SEP.10, 2012

This is to certify that Mrs.xx(born onxxxx Passport No.: Gxxxxxx), has been working in xxxxx Co.,Ltd as General Manager since 2006.Her monthly income is around RMB 30,000.Due to the need for business expansion, our company has decided to dispatch Mrs.xxxxto visit UK for business visiting and meeting during the period of SEP 15, 2012 to JSEP 30, 2012.All the air tickets, accommodation, meals and insurance will be paid by our company.We will keep her position and assure that she will be back on time.xxxxxxxxxxx Co.,Ltd

General Manager: xxxxxx

Tel: xxxxxx

Fax:xxxxxx

第五篇：英文自荐信中不能出现的一些话

下面这些内容不能出现在你的英文简历里

致命的大错

“Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.”

“Qualifications: No education or experience.”

“I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.”

“My compensation should be at least equal to my age.”

“Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.”

“Fired because I fought for lower pay.”

“Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5”.“ ”please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.“

”Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.“

”Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately.“

打字错误与语法错误

”Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.“

”Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.“

”I am a rabid typist.“

”Work History: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.“

”After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.“

”Accounting cleric.“

”As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.“

”Suspected to graduate early next year.“

”Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.“

”proven ability to track down and correct erors.“

”Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.“

”Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.“

”Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.“

不应有的幽默

”Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack.Use all others to heat your house.“

”Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting.“(Translation: Short-order cook.)

”But wait...there's more.You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.“

”I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.“

”My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular.“

”Title: Another resume from the 'profiles in Excellence' series.“

”Also Known As: Mr.productivity, Mr.Clever, Mr.Fix-it.“

”Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.“

”Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."