英语搞笑话剧两个女人的战争

第一篇：英语搞笑话剧两个女人的战争

A War between Two Women两个女人之间的战争

很好的6人英语短剧剧本。两个女孩同时看上了一个男孩，女人之间的战争，有意思。==-00 Cast： Angela Ivy Peggy Lucy

Yu-ting

Ithca Scoundrel------------------Scene I 购物场景

(Peggy and Lucy are shopping.They buy a lot of stuff.Suddenly, they see a handsome man.)Lucy: Oh my god!What a treasure.Peggy: He is so handsome, just like my charming prince in dreams.Lucy: Look!He has beautiful eyes and he looks so gentle and charming.Peggy: He’s a present that God gave me.Peggy& Lucy: I love him so much;I want to be his girlfriend!Peggy: Hay!(Looks angry).Lucy, he belongs to me, OK? Lucy: Stupid woman!I saw him first.He’s mine.Peggy: No, no, no, ugly woman.I saw him much earlier than you.Lucy: What? I’m more beautiful than you.Peggy: But I’m taller.Look at you, little short hobbit.Lucy: What? Little short hobbit? You are a small-eyed girl.Peggy: You’re so mean.Lucy: You too.(Peggy and Lucy get angry)Peggy: Hmm!I hate you.Lucy: Me too!

(Now the war of these two women begins)

Scene II 两个女人在男人周围

(Peggy and Lucy surround the man, and they are pulling and dragging the man.)Peggy: Please be my boyfriend, I’m more beautiful than Lucy.I’ll be a good girlfriend.Andy: Sure.You’re very beautiful.You’re like a super model.To be your boyfriend

is my honor.(Lucy drags the man to her side.)Lucy: I really love you very much.I can give you a happy life.Andy: You’re very beautiful, too!Especially your big eyes!They’re very charming!Andy: What should I do? I want to choose Peggy, but I also want to choose Lucy.Peggy: Let’s go to the movies on Sunday.Andy: Ok!Lucy: Let’s go to the movies tomorrow, OK? Andy: Sure!Andy: Oh~ I’m so happy!There’re two beautiful girls are quarreling over me.Look

at them;they have long legs, big chest and charming eyes.I’m so lucky!

Scene III 偶遇

(Lucy, Peggy, and Bonnie meet unexpectedly.Lucy and Peggy stare at each other.)Lucy: Bonnie, listen to me.Peggy: No!

Don’t listen to her.Listen to me.Lucy: Get away.Bonnie is my good friend!Peggy: You liar.She’s my good friend!Bonnie: Stop quarreling!Who can tell me what happened? Both of you are good friends, aren’t you? Peggy& Lucy: No!Bonnie: What happened between you? Peggy: Bonnie, I hate Lucy.She stole my boyfriend.Lucy: Nonsense.He’s my lover.Bonnie: Stop it!It’s no use quarreling about it.You should have a talk.Don’t hurt your friendship over a guy.Friendship is precious.(Peggy & Lucy leave)

Scene IV 电影院奇遇

(In front of the movie theater.Peggy is waiting for Andy.Lucy is also waiting for

Andy.They see each other.)Peggy& Lucy: You…….Lucy: Why are you here? Peggy: I want to ask you the same question.(At this time, Andy arrives;both Lucy and Peggy look at each other in confusion)Andy: Good afternoon, ladies!Peggy& Lucy: She…., you……

Andy: Any questions? It’s more fun that we can all go to the movies together.(Andy looks at the watch).The movie will start soon.Let’s go!Scoundrel: Don’t move!Give me your money.Peggy& Lucy: Help, help!Scoundrel: Be quiet!I won’t kill you if you give me your money.Hurry!Andy: Calm down, sir.I’ll give you all the money I have.Don’t kill me.If you want to kill somebody, please kill them.Lucy: Us? Are you crazy? Peggy: We’re just girls!Lucy: I can’t believe you are such a coward!How can you do this? Peggy: You make me sad.Lucy, let’s go!(They leave angry.)Scoundrel: What a coward you are!Killing you is waste of my strength.Chicken!(Scoundrel left but soon he come back)Scoundrel: Wait!Andy: Why did you turn back? Scoundrel: I forgot to take my money.(Takes Andy’s money)

Scene V

Peggy: I’m so sorry.Lucy, can you forgive me? Please….Lucy: Oh~ my dear friend!I’m feeling so sorry, too.Peggy: So….we’re still good friends, right? Lucy: Right!Then, let’s go eat.It’s my treat!Peggy: Wow~ it’s a good idea!Let’s go.(Allen shows up.)Allen: Hi, baby!

(Peggy& Lucy see Allen at the same time, they got excited and run to Allen.)Peggy& Lucy: Please be my boyfriend.(Peggy& Lucy stare at each other.)Lucy: Let go of your hands.Peggy: He is mine!Lucy: You already have a boyfriend, so he’s mine.Peggy: Why do you always like to steal my boyfriend? Lucy: You do, too.Peggy: He’s mine!Lucy: He’s mine!Peggy: He’s mine!Lucy: He’s mine!Allen: Shut up!I don’t like girls!Lucy: What? Peggy: You’re lying.I can’t believe it.Allen: Actually…….(Andy appears.)Allen: Oh, honey!Andy: Oh, baby!I’m sorry that I’m late!Allen: Little bad fellow.Don’t be late next time.Lucy: Andy? Andy: Lucy, Peggy, Why are you here? Peggy: I……(Looks at Allen and Lucy.)Allen: Honey, they’re so weird.Don’t pay attention to them.Let’s go.Andy: Sorry, I got to go.See you next time.Bye.(They leave)Peggy: We’re girls, they’re boys, right? Lucy: Sure.But, they….what happened? Peggy: Maybe they are…..Peggy& Lucy: Gay!

第二篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

二人用版本

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman.He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students.He has a lot of money now.But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you.I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here.I’ll be a boss soon!Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops!It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands!Never mind!Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……

Oh, my god!Never mind!Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces

加旁白1人属于4人用）

白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen.She had a pretty daughter named Snow White.Soon after the child was born, the queen died.The queen married another queen.The stepmother was very jealous.She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：(Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen.I’m very beautiful.you see.If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her.I have a magic mirror.If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming.Your Majesty!What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes.Your Majesty!You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady.She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本

Global warming

A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?

B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can’t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!

A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.（4人版本）

Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company.This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo!I finally finish this case.It is really tough!I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too.I always get so busy in this season.I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much.What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case? Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right.Let’s pig out on junk food!

Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown.I miss German food!Ca: so do I.how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before.Do you have any recommendation? Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy.But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families? Wing&Ca: No Ci: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted.Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me.what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together.I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great!That is fantastic.Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplings Wing: Very good idea!We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”

Ca: sure, here you are.what s next? Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together.be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it.shall I blend them? CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well.A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared.lets start!CiCi: Wait!I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these? Ca: Wow!Cheese!Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God.Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!

CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life.Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

第三篇：英语搞笑话剧——三顾茅庐

Three visits to the cottage 主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）

旁白：

Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great

classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms.ZhuGeliang is one of the main

characters in the original.Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the

symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history.Another main actors——Liubei, who

visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to

be his military adviser.Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped

the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom.Now，let’s go into the story.第一幕

屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty 三兄弟上场，关羽（戴着头巾粘着纸条），刘备（戴着墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）

刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙

A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）刘：嗯？没点着，你个废物（伸手打张飞）。En? It dosen’t burn on.you are the follish 张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟

Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom!关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了 Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK.张飞：No problem.刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。

刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）

刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。

诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.仆人(本幕诸葛亮饰)：Heng!(哼)仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?

刘备：（紧接着）Spanish? 关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up!Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.张飞：(同样摆个pose，把仆人碰倒了)I’m Sorry.刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。仆人：你们怎么来的啊

What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course.仆人：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台

第二幕

三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品

关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time.张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）

What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了

稍息。。立正。。（张飞关羽照做）

Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention!刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）You three!Be clever this time!屋子中„„

（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了）

诸葛亮：MY GOD！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God！Why do you punish me?!旁白：老大别难过，班长不也没过吗

Don’t be sad,my boss.As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination.诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．

What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed···

（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门）旁白：谁啊

Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的

I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）

刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下

We are here again,bother to notice your boss.（悲伤歌曲放起，屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart..关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）

Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please.刘：What?！

张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧

I’m afraid some-one important of him died here.Let’s go.Maybe we should come next time.关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮

Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。）

第三幕

（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐）（诸葛亮又赢了）

旁白：老大你真NB You are the man!诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作

Hum！That’s a piece of cake.And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s company to find a job after Spring Festival.旁白：你想去刘备那里？？

What? You said you want to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语

En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English.旁白：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了

But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago.门铃响。

（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss!I ached for you so much, please help me!刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧

Be calm.Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it!（出发。）

诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。那，一月多少钱啊

Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will..I get..from you then.张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走）

It hurts feelings when it comes to money!闭幕。。

第四篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

英语搞笑话剧剧本-A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到“香国”。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

Princess: Daddy!Mommy!It’s time to sleep!Don’t forget to take medicine.(King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.)King: Oh, no!It didn’t work.Maybe we should get help from people.Queen: OK!(Point to Ada)You just do it.Go out on the streets and find some help.SCENE IV(Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people.Some people try to make the princess sleep.)Prince:(To himself.)A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work!I think I can make the princess sleep!Can I try? King & Queen: Yes!It’s our pleasure.Please try.Prince: Thank you!(Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.)Sorry!My dear princess!Princess: Oh!Your feet smell so awful.I can’t breathe and I want to sleep.King & Queen: Oh no!My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us!(King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.)King: She’s still breathing.She just fell asleep.(Queen hugs the Princess.)Queen: Thank you!Oh, thank God!My dear baby finally fell asleep.King:(To the prince.)Oh!Thank you!We are very lucky to meet you.Prince: I can’t believe it!My disgusting feet have magic power！Queen: Oh!Don’t say that!They are not disgusting at all.Congratulations!You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes!This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet.And then, she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

第五篇：搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》 旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous sword 搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荆轲

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荆轲

Off course!耸耸肩表示同意 莫愁 Come on!音乐起 两人冲上前来

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荆轲大笑

李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗„„

荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）

荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never„„ Never„„ 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.