第一篇：英语小故事
The Lion and the Mouse
It once happened that a hungry lion woke to find a mouse just under his paw.He caught the tiny creature, and was about to make a mouthful of him, when the little fellow looked up, and began to beg for his life.In the most piteous tones ,the mouse said: “If you only spare my life now, O lion, I will be sure to repay you.”
The lion laughed scornfully at this, but he lifted his paw, and let his brave prisoner go free.It befell(降临，发生)the great lion, not long afterwards, to be in as evil a case as had been the helpless mouse, and it came about that his life was to be saved by the keeping of the promise he had ridiculed(嘲笑，戏弄).He was caught by some hunters, who bound him with strong rope, while they went away to find means for killing him.Hearing his loud groans(呻吟), the mouse came promptly to his rescue , gnawed(咬，啃)the great rope, and set the royal captive free.“You laughed,” he said, “at the idea of my being able to be of service to you.You little thought I should repay you.But you see it has come to pass that you are as grateful to me as I was once to you.”
The weak have their place in the world as truly as the strong.注释
l．was about to即将，准备，正打算
2．in most piteous tone用极其可怜的声调
3．spare my life饶我一命
4．laugh scornfully at对此轻蔑地一笑置之
5． it befell the great lion...to be in as evil a case as...与……一样倒霉的情形降临到大狮的头上。形式主语it代表后面的不定式短语to be in...6．it came about that...在此it为形式主语，真正的主语是后面的that引导的从句。come about是“发生”意思。
7．came to his rescue来营救他（指遭擒被缚的兽中王狮子）
点评
强者可称王称霸，横行一时，但也有“技不如人”的时候;这时弱者说不定有克敌制胜的法宝、解除危难的“绝招”
Mencius's Mother
Mencius , who lived from 372 to 289 B.C., is regarded as the greatest sage（圣人）next only to Confucius in Chinese history.There are many stories about this great sage.Mencius's father died early.His mother did all she could to make young Mencius to study hard.She moved the family three times in order that her son would be interested in books.Once she moved because her neighbor was a butcher.Young Mencius liked to watch him work and imitate him.Finally the family settled down in the neighborhood of a school.The teacher was a learned man , and the sound of reading could be heard every day.Now young Mencius began to imitate the teacher and liked to read books.Still Mencius wasn't working real hard.Her mother was worried.One day his mother was weaving cotton cloth at home, when she saw her son stop reading his lessons.She took up a knife to cut the cloth on the loom.She told her son that if he didn't work hard at his lessons, his future would be destroyed like the cloth.It is said that from then on Mencius buried himself in books and later became one of the greatest thinkers in the country.Today，the story about the good mother is told and retold throughout the country.注释
l． Mencius(人名)孟子
2．B·C·= Before Christ公元前
3．is regarded as被认为
4．the greatest sage next only to Confucius仅次于孔子的最伟大的圣人
5．settle down定居,住下
6．a leaned man一个有(高深)学问的人
7．1oom织布机
8．buried himself in埋头于
点评
孟母三次迁居目的是为其子营造良好的学习环境，后来又用“断织”，勉励儿子学习成材。
第二篇：英语小故事
A long time ago in China lived the Jade Emperor.It was his birthday.He wanted to measure time to know how old he was.All the animals arrived.The Emperor decided to have a race to give a name to each year of the Chinese Zodiac.The rat and the cat couldn't swim very well.“Can you take us across the river?” “Yes, jump and quick!”
They swam across the river.Then the rat pushed the cat into the water and jumped on to land.”Well done, Rat!The first year will be the Year of the Rat and the second will be the Year of the OX.“
”Look!Here's the tiger.He's very tired.The third year will be the Year of the Tiger.“
”The rabbit can't swim but he's very clever.The fourth year will be the Year of the Rabbit.“
”Why are you late, Dragon? You can fly!“ ”I had to make some rain for thirsty people to drink.“ ”Well done!The fifth year is the Year of the Dragon.“
”What's this? I can hear a horse.No, it's a snake.So the snake has the sixth year.“
”Well done!It is good to see you working together!The goat is eighth, the monkey is ninth and rooster is tenth.“
“Sorry I'm late.The water is clean and I needed a bath.” “ The eleventh is the Year of the Dog.”
These are some crazy and weird superstitions.Feel free to add some more, I know there are so many of them in this world。第一条：数字“13” 01 The number 13.这只是个数字。但是，每逢13号的礼拜五，人们普遍都会焦虑。很多机场没有13号登机口(好吧，你们真的以为12A登机口的乘客们不会发觉吗？)很多宾馆也没有13楼。It’s just a number.Yet, people tweak on Friday the 13th.Many airports don’t have a gate #13.(Like the folks at 12A won’t figure it out。)Many hotels don’t have a floor #13.人们告诉我，这个关于数字13的迷信来自叛徒犹大。他是那个坏信徒，是那个在“最后的晚餐”中第13个坐下的人。我觉得与其迷信13，不如迷信“坏信徒会带来厄运”，这样更理智些。
I was always told that the superstition is based on the idea that Judas, the bad disciple, was the 13th man to sit down to the table at The Last Supper.I think a more rational superstition would be to fear bad disciples。
第二条：在窗边挂一只橡果可以防止被闪电击中。02 An acorn at the window will keep lightning out。唔…真是神奇的橡果啊。That is some acorn.第三条：在新球棒上吐口口水，可以保持好运。
03 Spit on a new bat before using it for the first time to make it lucky.好恶心，好恶心，好恶心！在09年春，由于害怕猪流感的传播，全美的高中禁止运动员们在赛后握手。我很肯定他们也同样禁止了往球棒上吐口水这事儿。
Gross.Gross.Gross.In the spring of 2009, in fear of the Swine Flu, high schools all over the country forbade their athletes from shaking hands after the game.Pretty sure “not spitting on the bat” was implied.此外，从基本物理学的角度来讲，一个被口水润滑过的球棒的摩擦力更小，因此击球打滑的几率更大了…好吧，我真是精神病人思维广啊。
And speaking in terms of basic physics, having a lubricated bat makes for less friction, and therefore, slippery balls … okay, now I’m just out of control.第四条：为了写这篇文章，我得先去拿个蝴蝶研究的博士学位： 04 In order to write this article, I had to get a Ph.D.in butterflies… 蝴蝶出现得比以往早，预示着天气不错。
The early appearance of butterflies indicates fair weather.如果第一只蝴蝶是黄色的，那会是晴天。If the first butterfly is yellow, it will be sunny weather.如果第一只蝴蝶是白色的，那会是雨天。If the first butterfly is white, it will be rainy summer。如果第一只蝴蝶是白色的，会有人去世。If the first butterfly is white, someone will die。如果第一只蝴蝶是红色的，你会很健康。If the first butterfly is red, you will be healthy。
如果飞来了一只白蝴蝶，预示着夏天来了。If a white butterfly comes, summer follows.如果一只白蝴蝶从西南方向飞来，那就要下雨了。If a white butterfly flies from the southwest, expect rain。如果蝴蝶在围栏或树枝的下方飞舞，预示着快下雨了。
If butterflies are found hanging from the underside of rails or branches, it’s going to rain。如果发现它们在小树枝上方，说明不会下雨。If they are on the top of small branches, it will not rain。
如果第一只蝴蝶是深色的，雷雨很快要来了。If the first butterfly is dark, it means thunderstorms。如果第一只蝴蝶是黄色的，有人快生孩子了。
If the first butterfly is yellow, someone is going to give birth。如果一只白蝴蝶进了家里，绕着你不停飞，你将要死去。If a white butterfly enters your house and flies around you, you will die.如果一只蛾子落在新生儿的母亲身上，这个小孩很快便会死去。If a moth lands on the mother of a newborn, the baby will die.如果一只蝴蝶飞进你家，你认识的某人将要死去。
If a butterfly flies into your house, someone you know will die。如果一只蝴蝶飞进你家，说明某人要结婚了。
If a butterfly flies into your house, someone will get married.如果你抓住了一只蝴蝶，你会被车撞死。If you capture a butterfly, you will be struck dead。
如果你在夜晚见到蝴蝶，便将会死去。If you see a butterfly at night, you will die。呼，写完了！很“通俗易懂”吧，嗯？ There!Simple, right? 第五条：如果船上有猫，预示着会有好运。05 A cat onboard a ship is considered to bring luck。
我曾经在船上住过。猫绝对是个累赘。船上的角角落落都是它藏身、大小便的地方；甚至连机械装置都被破坏成了一片片的。有谁会愿意负责清理那些垃圾桶？垃圾桶可不是什么吉祥玩意儿。
I used to live on a ship.A cat would have been a real drag.All of those spaces to hide in, poop in, pee in? All of that machinery to get torn to pieces in? And who exactly would have been in charge of cleaning the litter boxes? Litter boxes are never lucky。第六条：如果三个人一起拍照，中间的那个会最先死掉。
06 If three people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first。我不知道它是真是假，但这条让我毛骨悚然。
I can’t rationalize it, but this one just gives me the shivers。
第七条：经过墓地的时候，如果你把双手插在兜里，便能保护你的父母。
07 If you stick your hands in your pocket while walking past a graveyard, it will protect your parents。
我不禁好奇：假如我把里兜翻出来会发生什么？或者，假如我脱掉裤子摇摇手臂，又会发生些啥？
Makes me wonder what happens if I turn my pockets inside out.Or, take off my pants and wave my arms around.第八条：搬家的时候不要带走扫帚，它会带来厄运。把它扔了，买个新的。
08 Never take a broom along when you move.It is bad luck.Throw it out and buy a new one。这不是常识吗？用过的扫帚很脏，没法跟亚麻制品放一起啊。这就跟打包带走用过的垃圾桶一样好笑。再说，一把新扫帚只需要两美元。
Isn’t that common sense? A used broom is kind of a nasty thing to box up with the linens.Like packing up used trash cans.A new broom costs like two dollars。第九条：如果蜡烛熄灭，说明附近有邪恶灵魂。09 If a candle blows out, evil spirits are nearby。或者也可能只是有阵风。Or, there’s a draft.第十条：用一根火柴点燃3根香烟，会带来厄运。10 It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match.嗯没错。这个厄运的名字叫“癌症”。Yeah it is.And that bad luck is called cancer.第十一条：当你站在一个圈内，邪恶的灵魂便伤害不到你。11 Evil spirits can’t harm you when you stand inside a circle.哦，难怪有些人会戴着呼啦圈在街上走来走去啊！
Oh, that explains all those people walking up and down the street wearing hula hoops。第十二条：如果捡起的硬币反面朝上，则会带来厄运；正面朝上会带来好运。12 It’s bad luck to pick up a coin if it’s tails side up.Good luck comes if it’s heads up。在当前经济形势下，就算会带来厄运我也不会放过地上那个硬币的。In this economy, a little bad luck is worth the nickel.第十三条：呃，我是不是该命名它为第12A条？ 13 – oops, should I have called this one #12A? 家里发现蟋蟀，会有好运。
A cricket in the house brings good luck.也会有蟋蟀粪便啊亲。It will also bring cricket poop。
第十四条：假如你右手掌发痒，说明很快就能获得一笔钱；假如你左手掌痒，说明你很快要付出去一笔钱。If the palm of your right hand itches, it means you will soon be getting money.If the palm of your left hand itches, it means you will soon be paying out money.假如你两只手都痒，那我建议你还是去医院检查一下吧。
If the palm of either of your hands is itching, you might want to get that checked。第十五条：如果爱人送了一把小刀作为礼物，说明爱情很快会结束。15 A knife as a gift from a lover means that the love will soon end。谁会送自己爱人一把刀啊！送玫瑰送巧克力不都行嘛？真是有毛病啊！Who gives their lover a knife for a gift? What happened to roses or chocolate? Creepy!还有： and 分娩的时候，在枕头下放把刀能减轻分娩疼痛。
A knife placed under the bed during childbirth will ease the pain of labor.如果我是那个孕妇，我会更紧张的。
If I were the impregnator, I would be very nervous。第十六条：汤太咸，说明那个厨子恋爱了。16 Salty soup is a sign that the cook is in love。
随便走进一家百货店，随便拿起一个罐头看看它的盐分含量吧。你会发现世界简直充满了爱了！
Check the sodium content on any can in any grocery store and feel good about how much love there is in the world。
第十七条：如果三只海鸥一起从你头上直直飞过，预示着死亡很快会降临。17 Three seagulls flying together, directly overhead, are a warning of death soon to come.也预示着你头顶会有一泡屎。Or poop on your head。
第十八条：打喷嚏的时候，用手捂住你的嘴，可以防止灵魂外逃。Place a hand in front of your mouth when sneezing so that your soul cannot escape。现在他们又叫我们往胳肢窝里打喷嚏了。我真为那些被喷进胳肢窝的灵魂感到惋惜。Now they tell us to sneeze into our armpits.I’ve got to feel sorry for any soul that gets sneezed into an armpit。
第十九条：右手掌有几个“X”，预示着你会有几个孩子。The number of Xs in the palm of your right hand is the number of children you will have。我数了一下。嗯，我会有47个孩子。I counted.I will have 47 children。
第二十条：新娘必须被抱着进入洞房，因为要是她摔跤了，那可就大难临头了。20 A new bride must be carried over the threshold because it’s bad luck if she falls。呃，我一直以为这是因为新娘之前喝太多了，才被抱进去的。I always thought it was because she was hammered from the reception。
第三篇：英语小故事
<<三国演义>>阅读体会
课程名称：文学鉴赏
院系：应用英语学院
班级：2010级2班
姓名：王振宇
学号：100440214
虽然“少不读三国”,但从小就开始读三国,从<<三国志>>到<<三国演义>>,还是觉得<<三国演义>>更好.虽然<<三国志>>更为客观.也许这种想法受童年长时间看<<三国演义>>的影响。这种想法明显很幼稚。喜欢赵云的高超武艺，喜欢诸葛亮对主子的执着，喜欢关云长的忠义，总是讨厌曹操的奸诈，明显这是不客观的，呵呵，这对曹操明显不公平，罢了 罢 了。。。。
首先让我们看看它讲了什么故事。《三国演义》，它讲述了从东汉末年时期到晋朝统一之间发生的一系列故事。书中第一句话这样说到：“话说天下大势，分久必合，合久必分。”周末七国分争，并入于秦，及秦灭之后，楚、汉分争，又并入于汉„„书中还有上百个人物、无数的军事谋略，加上作者本身借着历史人物，来阐述忠、教、仁、义、爱的道理，更是深中人心。它写的庸主献帝、刘禅，无能之辈吕布、袁术、袁绍、刘表、刘璋，气量狭隘的周瑜，长厚的鲁肃，勇者张飞、许楮、典韦，下至因行间而贻笑千古的蒋干，无不个极其态。这些人物给了我很深的教育。虽有这些人物，但最令我有所感受的是这本书当中所描述的几个英雄人物。
再看看书中几个真英雄。
1.关羽。他降汉不降曹、秉烛达旦、千里走单骑、五关斩六将、古城斩蔡阳，后来又在华容道义释曹操。他忠于故主，因战败降敌而约好一知故主消息，便不知千里万里往投。我认为虽降了敌，但最后还是回来了，不但仍算忠，而且还要算一种难得可贵的忠。《三国演义》表现关羽的方法也极简单：“丹凤眼,卧蚕眉，面如重枣，青龙偃月刀”，后来加上“赤兔马”，又读过《春秋》，刮骨疗毒不怕疼，斩颜良，诛文丑，几乎变得天下无敌。他的所做所为值得我们学习。
2.诸葛亮。封建统治时期需要忠臣，需要一个能够鞠躬尽瘁、死而后已的忠臣，这就是诸葛亮。诸葛亮熟知天文地理，能文能武，足智多谋，而且一生谨慎，鞠躬尽瘁。他借东风，草船借箭，三气周瑜，智料华容道，巧摆八阵图，骂死王朗，空城计，七星灯，以木偶退司马懿，锦囊杀魏延，这些是常人所想不到的。我本以为这种人应该相貌非凡，可书中描绘的却十分简单：身长八尺，面如冠玉，头戴纶巾，身披鹤氅。他的所做所为给后人很深的印象。
3.赵云。赵云开始跟随公孙瓒征讨，后投靠刘备，当年长阪恶战，赵云七进七出，杀得曹军闻风丧胆。保护刘禅和甘夫人安全脱险。刘备入西川，赵云随诸葛亮、张飞等人沿江而上作为援军，为平定益州做出了贡献。刘备死后，赵云跟随诸葛亮北伐，子龙单骑退追兵。为蜀汉立下赫赫战功。在演义中，赵云英武潇洒，武力超群，数次成为孤胆英雄，被刘备赞为“一身都是胆”。
4.曹操。虽然我不喜欢曹操，但他在客观上也的确是一个真英雄。曹操在《三国演义》中被称为奸雄，可能是因为他的儿子篡了汉。他说刘备与他是并世英雄，说得刘备都不敢听，但是他没有杀刘备，虽刘备正是他的瓮中之鳖。这使我感到了曹操的大度，也是周瑜做梦也梦不到的。周瑜眼中只有诸葛亮，与其誓不两立，只要把诸葛亮杀了，东吴的天下就太平了。后来又发现刘备也不是一般人物，便想杀刘备，至少把他留在东吴，东吴的天下也太平了。目光短浅，气量狭小，非英雄也。这也与曹操形成了鲜明的对比。曹操还是个实干家，曾经行刺董卓，诏聚诸侯讨伐董卓。这些使我感到了曹操的伟大之处。
最后让我们看看《三国演义》的艺术价值。《三国演义》是我国长篇小说的开山之作。在古代历史小说中，成就最高，影响最大。《三国演义》是罗贯中根据陈寿的《三国志》，并吸取野史、平话杂剧的故事情写作而成的。《三国演义》是一幅绚丽多姿的立体画卷，刻画了众多的人物形象。者描绘蜀方刘备方面的人物以忠勇仁义、骁勇善战、智慧机智为特点；描绘吴方周瑜方面的人物，少年武将，雄姿英发；描绘魏方曹操方面的人物，有曹操的虚伪奸诈，有司马父子的老谋深算。从而形成了全书立体形象的系谱。
《三国演义》的主要艺术特色在于人物性格的鲜明性。鲜明的人物性格是通过变化的情节、曲折的结构表现出来的。例如第二十七回的“美髯公千里走单骑”，揭示的是关羽的“义”；第四十一回的“赵子龙单骑救主”揭示的是赵云的“忠”。关羽的性格离开了千里走骑、过五关斩六将、单刀赴会等情节，就表现不了关羽的人物性格。
描写战争也是《三国演义》艺术的精华所在。着重写参加战争的人，不着重写战争的过程，这是《三国演义》战争描写的最显著艺术特点。作者巧妙地处理了人物与故事之间的关系，从人物的性格冲突中导出故事。又从故事情节的发展中渲染人物。在处理人物和故事的关系中，既写好了战争中的人物，又写好了战争过程基本原因。如“空城计”前后的描写。作者对战争双方的描写，对于在具体战役中掌握主动权的详写，处于被动方的略写；对于在未来战争中处于胜利的一方详写，而处于失败地位的一方则略写。这种写法产生的艺术效果使读者对整个战争的全貌、整个战争的发展有一个清 晰的认识和看法。
《三国演义》结构严密，整体结构完美。作者善于用历史眼光和审美观点来写人物、事件，把构成历史的各种因素结合起来，构成整体结构。以写战争为主，又围绕主轴线描写了多种形式的政治斗争、外交活动。千头万绪，浑然一体，拓宽了小说的表现空间。《三国演义》不但受到我国人民的喜爱，而且在国 际文坛上有着极高的地位。《英国大百科全书》称 《三国演义》作者罗贯中是“第一位知名的艺术大师”，认为《三国演义》是十四世纪出现的一部“广泛批评社会的小说”。可见，《三国演义》不仅是中国的名著，也是世界的名著。
第四篇：一些英语小故事
烧炭人和漂布人
The Charcoal-Burner and the Fuller A Charcoal-Burner carried on his trade in his own house.One day he met a friend, a Fuller, and entreated him to come and live with him, saying that they should be far better neighbors and that their housekeeping expenses would be lessened.The Fuller replied, “The arrangement is impossible as far as I am concerned, for whatever I should whiten, you would immediately blacken again with your charcoal.” 烧炭人在一所房子里干活,看见有一个漂布人搬迁到他的旁边来住时,满怀高兴地走上 去劝他与自己同住,并解释说这样彼此更亲密,更方便,还更省钱。漂布人却回答说:“也 许你说的是真话,但完全不可能办到,因为凡我所漂白的,都将被你弄黑。”
这故事说明: 不同类的人难相处。Like will draw like.大力神和车夫
Hercules and the Wagoner A carter was driving a wagon along a country lane, when the wheels sank down deep into a rut.The rustic driver, stupefied and aghast, stood looking at the wagon, and did nothing but utter loud cries to Hercules to come and help him.Hercules, it is said, appeared and thus addressed him: “Put your shoulders to the wheels, my man.Goad on your bullocks, and never more pray to me for help, until you have done your best to help yourself, or depend upon it you will henceforth pray in vain.” 一名车夫赶着货车沿着乡间小路行进。途中车轮陷入了很深的车辙中,再也无法前进。这时,愚蠢的车夫吓得茫然失措,一筹莫展,痴呆呆地站在那里,凝视着货车,不断地高声喊叫,求大力神来助他一把。大力神来到后,对他说:“朋友,用你的肩膀扛起车轮,再抽 打拉车的马。你自己不自力更生,尽力解决,仅靠祈求我,怎么行呢?”
寓言告诉我们: 自力更生,自助自立是克服困难的最好办法。牛粪中的小鸟
A little bird was flying south for the winter.It was so cold,the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.The dung was actually thawing him out!He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!一只小鸟飞往南方去过冬,天气实在太冷了,这只小鸟被冻僵了。掉到了一块田地里。当它僵硬地躺在那里,一头牛走了过来,拉了一堆牛粪在它身上。冻僵的小鸟躺在这堆牛粪里,便开始有了意识,渐渐的意识到躺在那里有多暖和。这堆牛粪的确令它苏醒过来,它躺在上面又暖和又快乐,一会儿便欢乐的唱起歌来。一只路过的猫听到鸟的歌声便过来探个究竟,寻声而来,猫发现了在这堆牛粪下的小鸟,便很快将它挖出来吃掉了 守财奴
A Miser, to make sure of his property, sold all that he had had converted it into a great lump of gold, which he hid in a hole in the ground, and went continually to visit and inspect it.This roused the curiosity of one of his workmen, who, suspecting that there was a treasure, when his master's back was turned went to the spot and stole it away.When the Miser returned and found the place empty, he wept and tore his hair.But a neighbor who saw him in this extravagant grief, and learned the cause of it, said: “Fret thyself no longer, but take a stone and put it in the same place, and think that it is your lump of gold;for, as you never meant to use it, the one will do you as much gold as the other.” 译文: 一个守财奴,为了确保他的财产,卖掉所有家当换成了一大块金子,埋在一个地洞里,并且不时地去查看,这引起了手下一个雇工的好奇。雇工猜测那里肯定有宝贝,趁主人离开之际,他来到埋藏地点,把金子偷走了。当守财奴回来发现金子不翼而飞,便痛哭流涕,乱撮头发。一个邻人见状问明原由后说“你也别太痛苦了,拿一块石头再埋在原地,就当是那块金子好了,因为既然你永远不想用它,那么两者不是一回事吗”。
该篇故事的寓意是: 金钱的价值不在于拥有,而在于使用 Three craftsmen三位工匠
一座大城被敌军围困了,城中的居民们聚在一起,共同商议对抗敌人的办法。
A siege of the city of the enemy, the city residents to get together to discuss common fight against the enemy's approach.一个砌匠挺身而出,主张用砖块作为抵御材料;一个木匠毅然提议用木头来抗敌是最佳的方法;一个皮匠站起来说:“先生们,我不同意你们的意见。我认为作为抵御材料,没有一样东西比皮更好。”
A build Carpenter to come forward to advocate the use of bricks
一、我是单身汉
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back.“Anything else?” The nurse asked.“Yes,”Jack thinks for a while and said,“I'm a bachelor.”
杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格“还有什么漏填的？”护士问.“有！”杰克想了想说，“我是个单身汉.”
二、死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭
Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.Husband:It's okey.To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。
丈夫：那有什么？据我调查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。
三、位置上的冰激凌
“Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.”
“Yours?Can you prove it?”
“Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.”
“请原谅，你占了我的位置.”
“你的位置？你能征明这点吗？”
“能，我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌.”
四、别无选择
One day,Eve asked Adam,“Doyou really love me?”
Adam said helplessly,“Do I have any other choice?”
一天，夏娃问亚当：“你当真爱我吗？”
亚当无可奈何地回答：“我还有的选择吗？”
五、总是口渴
Always Thirsty
“I had an operation,” said a man to his friend, “and the doctor left a sponge in me.”
“That”s terrible!“ said the friend.”Got any pain?“
”No, but I am always thirsty!“
总感到口渴
一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”
“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”
六、喝水洗苹果
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What”s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？
杰克：我刚才吃了个
苹果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？
杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
七、凯特的礼物
A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I“m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot。
Mom: But I”ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven“t.I”ve just dropped it.凯特的礼物
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？
凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
八、医生懂得多
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street.He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: “I think that he is very ill.”
“I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I”m not dead.I“m still alive.”
“Be quiet, ” said the wife.“the doctor knows better than you!”
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”
妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
九、Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning.Don“t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad.But I”ve saved you a meal, haven“ I?
浪费还是节约
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？
杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？
十、他为什么喊
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling.I haven”t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他为什么喊
牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
第五篇：英语小故事
英语小故事大全
1、The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard.Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly.Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.Zeal should not outrun discretion.有只鸽子口渴得很难受，看见画板上画着一个水瓶，以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去，不料一头碰撞在画板上，折断了翅膀，摔在地上，被人轻易地捉住了。这是说，有些人想急于得到所需的东西，一时冲动，草率从事，就会身遭不幸。
2、The Boys And The Frogs 男孩和青蛙
One spring day some naughty boys were playing near a pond.They began to throw stones into the water.In the pond lived many frogs were much afraid of the boys, for the stones hurt some of the frogs.At last an old frog lifted his head out of the water and said, ¨Boys, please don‟t throw stones at us.〃The boys said, ¨We are only playing.〃 ¨I know that, but please stop throwing stones, my boys.What is play to you is death to us,〃 said the old frog.So the boys stopped throwing stones and went away.春天里的一天，一些顽皮的男孩在一个水塘边玩耍。他们开始往水里扔石块。许多生活在水塘里的青蛙非常害怕这些男孩，因为石头曾弄伤了他们中的一些。最后一只老青蛙把他的脑袋探出水面，他说：“孩子们，请别向我们扔石头。”男孩说：“我们只是在玩耍。”“我知道，但请别扔石头，孩子们。对你们而言的玩耍对我们可意味着死亡。”老青蛙说。因此男孩们不再扔石头并且离开了
3、Applauded Twice
The Head of the bureau addressde the meeting:“I have always felt strange why the audience always applauded twice.Now I have made clear.Those who listened attentively woke up those who were dozing off.That is why we heard the appluase twice.The moment his voice died down,an outburst of uproar of noise and laughter arouse,Again two outbursts of noise and laughter.4.Difference ”I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class,“ observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.”When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon.“ But the graduate students just write it down.”
“She is the one who sells the candy.” 5.A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yestrday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
6.The Fox.and the Crow A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree.„That‟s for me, as I am a Fox,‟ said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree.„Good-day, Mistress Crow,‟ he cried.„How well you are looking to-day: how glossy your feathers;how bright your eye.I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does;let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds.‟ The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox.„That will do,‟ said he.„That was all I wanted.In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future.‟Do not trust flatterers.‟
7.Camels 骆驼的故事
At the small zoo camel ask: “Mother Mother, why do we eyelashes so long?” Camel mother said: “When the wind came, the long eyelashes will enable us to be able to see the direction of the storm.” small camel asked: “Mother Mother, why do we camels back then, the die ugly!” camel mother, said: “This is called hump, you can help us store a lot of water and nutrients, so that we can tolerate more than a dozen in the desert day of potable water without conditions.”small camel asked:“ Mother Mother, why do we so thick the soles of the feet? ”camel mother said:“ That will enable us to many of the body is not stuck in soft sand, to facilitate long-distance ah journey.”small camel pleased bad:“ Wow, so useful that we ah！But mother, why we are still in zoos, do not desert hiking? ”
My talents to be useful, but now no one used.A good attitude + a successful teaching + an infinite stage = success.Each potential is unlimited, the key is to find a stage for their full potential.以下为中文翻译
骆驼
在动物园里的小骆驼问妈妈：“妈妈妈妈，为什么我们的睫毛那么地长?”骆驼妈妈说：“当风沙来的时候，长长的睫毛可以让我们在风暴中都能看得到方向。”小骆驼又问：“妈妈妈妈，为什么我们的背那么驼，丑死了!”骆驼妈妈说：“这个叫驼峰，可以帮我们储存大量的水和养分，让我们能在沙漠里耐受十几天的无水无食条件。”小骆驼又问：“妈妈妈妈，为什么我们的脚掌那么厚?”骆驼妈妈说：“那可以让我们重重的身子不至于陷在软软的沙子里，便于长途跋涉啊。”小骆驼高兴坏了：“哗，原来我们这么有用啊！可是妈妈，为什么我们还在动物园里，不去沙漠远足呢?”
我的才华必有用，可惜现在没人用。一个好的心态+一本成功的教材+一个无限的舞台=成功。每人的潜能是无限的，关键是要找到一个能充分发挥潜能的舞台。
8.An old woman had a cat.The cat was very old;she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old.One day the old cat saw a mouse;she jumped and caught the mouse.But she could not bite it;so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse.She began to hit the cat.The cat said, “Do not hit your old servant.I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old.Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young.”
【译文】
老猫
一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
9.A man was going to the house of some rich person.As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road.He said, “I do not want to eat those apples;for the rich man will give me much food;he will give me very nice food to eat.” Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.He went on and came to a river.The river had become very big;so he could not go over it.He waited for some time;then he said, “I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river.”
He began to go home.He had eaten no food that day.He began to want food.He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.Do not throw good things away;you may be glad to have them at some other time.【译文】
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。
他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”
他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。
不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
10.The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were two mice.They were friends.One mouse lived in the country;the other mouse lived in the city.After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse;he said, “Do come and see me at my house in the country.” So the City mouse went.The City mouse said, “This food is not good, and your house is not good.Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city.You would live in a nice house made of stone.You would have nice food to eat.You must come and see me at my house in the city.”
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse.It was a very good house.Nice food was set ready for them to eat.But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise.The City mouse cried, “ Run!Run!The cat is coming!” They ran away quickly and hid.After some time they came out.When they came out, the Country mouse said, “I do not like living in the city.I like living in my hole in the field.For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid.”
【译文】
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,“School-Go slow”.老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着“学校----慢行”.11.A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
12.Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home.At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now, he asked, “What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?” “Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”
“But, dad,” the boy said, “ there's only ONE policeman!”
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，„醉‟字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！
13.There was a man who had seven sons, but he had no daughter, greatly though he longed for one.At last his wife told him that they could again expect a child and, sure enough, when it was born it was a baby girl.There was great rejoicing, but the child was weak and puny, so weak that it had to be christened at once.The father told one of the boys to go quickly to the spring and fetch christening water;the other six ran along with him, and because each of them wanted to be the first to dip the jug into the well, it fell in and sank.So there they stood and didn„t know what to do, and none of them dared go home.When they didn„t come back their father got impatient and said:“ I„ll wager they„ve been playing some game again and forgotten all about it, the godless brats.“ He was afraid the little girl would have to die unbaptized, and in his rage he cried out:“ I wish those boys would all turn into ravens.“ He„d scarcely spoken the words when he heard a whirring of wings in the air overhead, looked up and saw seven coal-black ravens flying away.有个人，他有七个儿子，他很希望有个女儿，可是怎么盼也没有。好不容易，妻子又怀孕了。生下来一看，果然是个女孩。他们非常高兴。但是孩子太小，又非常虚弱，非得马上急救洗礼不可。父亲打发一个男孩立即到井台去打洗礼水，其余六个也跟着去了。在井台旁，他们都争着先打水，结果罐子掉进井里，沉了下去。他们不知道该怎么办才好，都真楞楞地站在那儿，谁也不敢回家了。父亲在家里等得不耐烦了，就说：“我敢说这些无法无天的孩子一定是贪玩，把打水的事给忘了。”他担心女孩子不经洗礼会死，就生气地大声喊起来：“淘气鬼，都变成乌鸦才好呢！”这话刚出口，就听到头顶有“吧哒吧哒”鸟儿拍打翅膀的声音。他抬头一看，只见空中有七只漆黑漆黑的乌鸦飞过去了。
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