第一篇:美国大学录取委员会对申请文书的看法和要求
美国大学录取委员会对申请文书的看法和要求(有点长,准备留学的同学保存一下吧,换个角度看留学申请)来源: 程然的日志
申请美国大学,教授会根据申请材料了解申请者。如何写申请材料,美国教授评定申请材料的标准是什么?下面是美国教授给出的个人意见,非常值得申请美国大学的中国学生一读,对他们申请材料的准备工作非常有帮助。
Cornell University
Richard Geiger
Dean of Admission
申请人易犯的最大错误就是将个人陈述写成一部史诗或过于光辉的人生历程。申请人应尽可能选择充分介绍,反映自己的一两个主题,论述观点要明确,要点要突出。“个人陈述”的主题还应该肯定自己的长处和优点,体现申请人的与众不同。如果不断解释自己的缺憾和弱点,则为不智之举。
虽然偶尔有人递交两份个人陈述,但我们只需要一个简明的个人陈述,我们并不在乎长度。如果你递交多份的个人陈述,我想那一定是有原因的,我会尽力找出原因何在。事实上,如果申请人极力想对他们的弱点做一个说明的话,我倒建议可以在个人陈述后加一个简短的附录。就我个人的观点来看,如果将个人陈述本身用于解释弱点,就大错特错了。我希望看到的个人陈述可以传达一些正面的信息,传达一些在其他的申请材料中无法显示的信息。
Writing sample和个人陈述是完全不同的。前者可使我们发现一些在个人陈述中无法发现的写作上的缺点。writing sample也可使我们看出到底申请人是否具有初步的逻辑能力,论辩能力和提出观点的能力。
推荐信也是我们招生的重要依据。通过推荐信我们可以看出其学术成就和性格特征。每位申请人应该准备两份推荐信。如果申请人是在校学生,推荐信应来自于任课教师;否则申请人应使用上司的推荐信。如果申请人离校多年,就不适合再从学校获取推荐信了。否则我们会奇怪为什么不用近期的材料。优良的成绩固然重要,但由于本校非常注重学生的品质修养,我们坚决不会录取那些学术成绩看似优秀却不具备高尚品格和道德的申请人。我们人数不多,所以对组成我们这个小团体的成员的素质尤其重视。
如果我们对某位申请人的档案有兴趣,我们届时会邀请前来面试。相对于申请人的数目来说,能参加面试的人很少。基于各种原因,我们还可能为其安排另外一次面试,例如,我们有时很想了解某些方面,或申请人尚未完全回答某些问题。并非许多院校像我们这样做。
Georgetown University
Andy Comblatt
Assistant Dean of Admission
由于许多申请人不能与我们面谈,所以他们觉得十分沮丧,对此我们十分理解。但通过个人陈述完全可以弥补,所以应该好好把握这个机会,不要担心通过个人陈述向我们表露你真实的一面。千万不要在我们之间树立一道屏障。所以我们称之为个人陈述,而不是一般的陈述。你越坦率,我们就了解的越多,在这方面你是否做得够好呢?我推荐一个小测验。在写完陈述后你可以把它拿给自己的好友看,问他们:“如果你从未遇到过我,读了这篇个人陈述后是否感觉对我的了解十分全面了呢?”
在写个人陈述时可以考虑一些你曾参加的活动,你是怎样成长的,以及一些工作和旅游的经验。你甚至可以谈论一些政治话题,而不必担心你的观点会触怒评审委员,你的观点是什么都不要紧。我们的团体本身就十分多样。如果你想告诉我们为什么要考我们的学院或将来你打算干什么,那也很好,但这些都不是必须的。
有一些申请人苦于不能在评审中有机会解释某些弱点,比如某学期你生病,某个不幸降临使你某段时期功课不好或其他什么信息。你尽可以提供一个附录,我们会十分乐意接受的。除非这些信息与你的个人陈述的主题吻合默契,我决不同意你将它写为个人陈述的一部分。
你可以提交诸如论文,新闻简报,录像带等辅助性资料,这些可以使我对你有一个三维立体的印象。但请记住,我们不太可能阅读一篇冗长的论文,也不要在递交申请材料时表现不必要的小聪明。虽然我鼓励申请人可以有独创性,但不要让我们觉得你提交某样东西只是为了显示你有多聪明。
推荐信对我们掌握信息十分有用。你可以在自己的申请中描述自己如何参与课外活动,但如果这一信息由旁人如老师,主任等佐证,就会变得有说服力的多。另外如果你有十分矛盾的指标如:高GPA和低的GRE,或相反。如果其中有原因,或一位教授对此做出说明,这就非常非常的有价值了!这比你自己来解释强上百倍。
University of Texas at Austin
Director of Admission
每年我们要接受4,000份申请材料,如果我们严格按照本科成绩和LSAT的分数来招生的话,这些统计的平均数早就超过了现在的数字了。实际上,正是个人陈述,简历和推荐信起了重要的作用。我们通过这些信息为课堂带来多样性。我们想找的不是一个仅仅学习很好的人,而是一个有趣的申请者,他可以通过其与众不同的生活体验为我们的讨论带来新的视角,并为这专业做出贡献。
在评审过程中,每个委员只会审阅众多申请中的一小部分。在现行制度下,申请材料会被一个教授和两个录取委员会成员审阅。这两个委员中有一个将审阅所有的申请者的材料以便对整体的申请状况有一个大概的了解,这样我们可以做出更准确的判断。
个人陈述的主题是你个人的选择。由于我们已要求提供简历,所以切勿将个人陈述写得像简历那样简单罗列工作经历,参与的各种活动。我希望看到一个对申请者十分独特的东西,如过去的一项特殊成绩,过去的有趣经历等。
今年我读到了一份十分独特的个人陈述,有关于申请人义务照料艾滋病人的事件。此文不是泛泛解释他作了那些服务,而是以一种简练,明快的风格描述了他与一位艾滋病患者共度的经验。这篇文章给了我十分深刻的印象并使这位申请者脱颖而出。他讲述了这次经验怎样使他变成了一个更好的人,这个角度找得很好。描述一件事对你的影响比平淡的讲故事要好得多。
我们看到许多申请人总爱说“我在XX岁时就梦想成为一名XX”或“我爷爷就是一位XX”,再不就是“我认为这是一个高尚的职业……”。我们更感兴趣的是申请者这个人,而不是他的目标和理想。当然许多申请人都对他们以后想做什么有清楚的计划。可能他们想从事公益法或国际贸易法,所以接受良好的教育则为必须。如果根据对其他材料的评判我们认为他的理想是顺理成章,具有一定说服力的话,这样的个人陈述也被认为是比较好的。
我们一般将个人陈述限为两页。
至于推荐信倒不是必须,当然如果有会更好。我们希望推荐信来自于共同工作过的,了解申请人的教师,其次是申请人的上司,同事或助教等。总之,我们认为只有了解,熟知申请人的推荐人才能提供真实,可靠的信息。
人们常忽视writing sample的重要性。其实writing sample对我们十分重要,因为它可以反映申请人是否具备今后从事法学研究的基本写作技能。在这方面的疏忽可能最终导致申请人的失败。
Columbia University、Graduate School of Business、Associate Dean for Admissions and Administration
录取过程既是主观的,同时又是对申请人的客观评价。由于我们在选择那些可能真正成为商务领导的人才,在招生录取过程中,我们既考察学生的大学成绩和GMAT成绩,也考虑他们的人际交往能力,工作经验和个人品质。所以,怎样全面地推销自己是非常重要的。我们还将增加面试机会,这些都会有助于我们评估申请人能否在我们学校和商界获得成功。
在个人陈述中,我们最感兴趣的是申请人毕业后的目标和打算,及其与个人经历之间的关系。我们十分注重其过往的工作经验,比如他们曾经带领别人做成了某件事情,或可以证明其领导潜质。申请人能否与别人协同工作也是我们非常注意的,因为在此学习需要你与其他人密切合作,参与团体项目,要获取成功你必须与他人良好合作。我们对申请人对哥伦比亚大学的兴趣和了解也感兴趣,因为这所大学地处繁华的纽约市,申请人未来的学习会与这个国际大都市紧紧相连。我们想找那些可以在这种充满刺激和多样性的环境中成功的人。我们的学生群体十分复杂,十分国际化。约25%-30%的学生来自国外。我们的本国申请人也日益国际化,因为他们当中的许多人生在国外,也有许多人在国外旅行和工作。所以如果一个申请人只呆在一种单一环境下而从未在国外旅行,做项目,那他是不适合哥伦比亚大学的。我们青睐那些乐于通过任何机会学习外国文化,和其他待人处世方法的申请人。因此,申请人以前在国外的广泛阅历和国际合作能力是非常重要的因素。
在申请时玩些小花样是不必要的,除非这些能与申请者的特定经历相吻合。比如有一个申请者以前是开果汁罐头公司的,我们就收到了罐头的样品,这给了我们一个好印象。从这个罐头我们可以知道申请人的确是开办了企业,这就是一个良好接触。但这决不是必须的。最重要的是申请人如何评价自己,一味哗众取宠地阐述个人过去的成绩并不可取。我们真正需要的不是完人,事实上许多人在过去都曾有过污点,我们要找的是踌躇满志,对未来有长远计划并有能力争取成功的申请人。
外国学生在写个人陈述时找人帮忙是完全可以的。但最好指出,否则当我们看到一篇如此完美的文章时,我们会怀疑到底是谁写的。
我们需要两封推荐信,真正出自上司而不是学校的老师之手。我们依靠GMAT成绩和大学成绩单评估申请人的学术能力。有时我们知道推荐人授权被推荐人自己写推荐信,尤其当这些推荐信写的过分花哨而类似商业广告。我们希望见到真材实料的推荐信,实事求是的信息对我们更有价值。
Stanford University、Graduate School of Business
希望大家能把文章写得生动,活泼。因为你要明白是人,而不是机器在看你的文章。如果换了是你,一年6个月每天都得在15-20篇文章中仔细筛选,你希望看到什么类型的文章呢?生动,有趣,不是吗?我们也一样。不要竭力显得与众不同,因为你不了解其他申请人的状况。不要用蜡笔来写你的个人陈述,也不要寄你和朋友录制的录像带来告诉我们你求学的目的。如果你申请的是艺术学院,这可能不是一个坏主意,但如果你想到法学院或商学院学习的话,千万别这样。
通常申请人喜欢在个人陈述中把我们的问题和他所申请的其他商学院所问的问题掺杂在一起,我只要读第一段就可以辨别出来他们没有很好地回答我们所问的问题。而回答我们的问题是很重要的。一个通常易犯的错误就是对你为什么选择某个学校阐述不清。请记住阅读你的申请的那些老师往往已在学校工作多年了,并对学校有很深的感情,所以他们想了解你之所以选择这所学校的确切理由。许多学生的文章落入套路,如“我选择你的学校是由于你们在市场和金融专业有很强的师资,我想这是国内最好的学校吧……”可我要说符合这种条件的学校有一
大把,如果你选择我们只是由于我校的排名较高,那就别指望我们重视你的申请了。这就好像你加入一支篮球队的理由是由于季前预测队伍会得第一。
请一定要解释你的缺点,可能你某一学期的成绩下滑是父母离婚或经济拮据使你不得不拼命工作挣钱糊口,那你解释一下好了。但我们不希望你“哭诉”!生活有时是残酷的,但阐述困境和哀叹毕竟有本质的区别。“做同学会的副主席要求我干这干那,妨碍了我的学习”,或“我的功课差劲是因为我的爱人甩了我”这类说辞会让招生委员会十分气恼,事实上这种事在你进入商学院之后可能还会发生。有些人还在个人陈述中加入图表,不过我不认为这有什么帮助。
只有招生委员会看你的材料,一个人看过后会加上一些评语,然后是另一些人看,对这些评语表示赞同或反对。越多的人看你的材料,你就越可能被录取。
我们永远会对推荐人的名字加以注意。所以申请人拼命找一些名人或有影响力的Stanford的校友来做推荐人,老实说这是没有用的。我们希望推荐人是真正了解你并和你共事过的人。如果推荐人对申请人所知甚少,他们往往会在推荐信中明确指出这一点,也会指出他们不理解为什么要他们来写推荐信。这样我们会对申请人的判断力提出质疑。这样的推荐信非但没有什么好效果,恰恰适得其反。
Stanford 生物系硕士研究生部主任:
我们希望看到一些从事过某项研究的经历,以及辨别不同事物价值的能力。我们对他做过什么并不特别在意,但我们希望看到判断能力的证明。我们希望录取愿意作出基础贡献的申请人,申请人一般要说自己都从事过什么,想要做写什么,对此我们都要认真的了解。
不要过分将研究的过程。也不要过分夸奖我们的学校,这都是没有什么作用的。人回首过去时,他们应提取出以往努力的价值。有时这种努力不一定有效,但申请人可以诚实的说:“我们尝试了这个计划,但事实证明它行不通,而且我们也了解了为什么。不管怎样,我们还是要研究科学,等等。”听上去充满智慧的分析,表明了作者的分析能力。至于将来的计划,和上面一样,申请人要有判断重要事物的能力,并能意识到必须在努力和收获之间找到平衡。你应该尽可能让每一次努力都获得最大的收获。
加州技术学院应用机械、民用工程招生办主任:
我们在自传中想发现几个因素。我们主要想看到的是申请人是否对这一领域进行过思考。他们是否知晓当今这一领域的热门问题。他们是否阅读过一些相关的研究论文或者在大学是就接触过当时的研究主流。
不要过于注重描述以往的成就,忽视将来的计划。重述过去取得的成就当然是有帮助的,但我们在读自传时,心里已经十分清楚申请人都是一流的。我们想了解的是申请人的思维方式,他们对目标的界定。
简洁是最重要的,我们通常只读自传的前两页
第二篇:美国大学申请文书
Short Answer
Please select three of the following five prompts and provide a response of approximately 150 words to each.Your responses will be read by Notre Dame admissions counselors as we seek to learn more about you.We encourage you to use personal examples, anecdotes, or anything that helps differentiate you from your peers.1.Undergraduates at Notre Dame have the opportunity to engage in original research where they strive to make a professional contribution in their field.A typical summer grant of $5,000 enables students to pursue their passions in a full range of disciplines: from the arts, humanities and architecture to science, engineering and business.If you were given a $5,000 grant to study a topic, what would you choose to research and why?
Doing a research on Iphone4's successful marketing in China must be interesting.The Apple Company has been looking for innovative ways to meet new and existing consumer’s needs.The model before Iphone4 did not sell well in China.However, Iphone4 has achieved a great increase in consumer demand.I can see Iphone4 everywhere in China.It was even sold out immediately after it appeared in the on-line Apple store.There must be some secrets of the new selling model of Iphone4.I would spend the grant to find the answer.2.Notre Dame’s mission statement emphasizes an education should “create a sense of human solidarity and concern for the common good that will bear fruit as learning becomes service to justice." Describe an experience that engaged you both intellectually and morally.I had an experience ofbeing a volunteer in a library for two months.I felt proud of myselfdoing the job.I looked for books for readers, and helped the librarians with their work.It was just different to be avolunteer from a reader in the library, for serving the public made me happier and trained me to be more polite.3.Many people form a list of once-in-a-lifetime activities to accomplish.For example, individuals on the admissions staff hope to visit all the national parks, publish a fiction novel or waddle with penguins in Antarctica.What are a few of the items on your list?
I'm interested in many things.Ifthere were some once-in-a-lifetime activities to accomplish, then building a band would be the first choice on my list.I love music and playing the piano.It would be gorgeous to work with several friends sharing the same ambition and dream.The second thing may be travelling abroad.I believe that travelling is a way and part of learning.It would be even moreamazing to have experience living and studying in a different country, even only once, in my lifetime.4.You have 150 words.Take a risk.The willingness to take a risk demonstrates a positive attitude to life.Whatever the result is, the process and mood in taking a risk are more attractive.When I was traveling in Thailand with my parents at the age of five, I decided to take a flight in a special fire balloon linked by a rope to a speedboat.The tour guide said I was the youngest one ever to take that flight.Without any fear or hesitation, I flew into the intoxicating sky.The boat fast moving, the sea breeze swaying, and the golden sunshine setting off the greenish orchid sea constituted a view like paradise.The flying experience was glorious and I was totally immersed in that exciting delight.Growing up, I now understand that only by taking a risk can I see what other people cannot see and enjoy what they cannot enjoy.5.Why are you interested in attending the University of Notre Dame?
The University of Notre Dame first came into my mind when I saw the movie Rudy in my middle school.The fascinating view of the Notre Dame campus and the combatant spirit of the football team were so appealing to me that I decided at once to plan to pursue my academic enthusiasm in this university.The fairy tale about Rudy, the ocean of knowledge and courage it has, the Mendoza College of Business with its traditions and teaching of values and morals, all attract me..I am particularly interested in the business school and I am going to apply to it.As is well known, the lack of moral sense and principles of food producers in China has resulted in food poisoning and the loss of trust from the public.I hope, through my own efforts, I can convert some businessmen’s moral values and thus do something to help the Chinese people.
第三篇:盘点美国大学TESOL专业录取条件及文书要求
对于想要申请美国研究生的申请者来讲,TESOL(Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages)专业一直是很多英语爱好者的首选。去美国学习英语教学专业是再好不过的选择了。今天小编就来盘点几所常申请的学校。
【宾夕法尼亚大学】
录取者条件分析:建校100年的宾夕法尼亚大学,在全世界的口碑一直很好,所以申请成功的几率可想而知。其对学生的硬件要求非常严格。虽然在官网中查到的申请要求并没有很苛刻,但事实上被录取的申请者软硬性条件都非常好。
比如说,2015年宾大TESOL专业录取的学生中,GPA最低分为3.62。TOEFL最低分为102。除了硬性条件要求高以外,对工作经验要求也是蛮高的。往年所录取的学生接近70%的学生都是有1年及更长时间的实习或者是工作经验的。
学校很少给国际生奖学金。因为是滚动录取,所以建议条件具备的申请者尽早申请。
文书概要:
简历:1-2页。体现自己的经历。
个人陈述(Statement of Purpose): 不要超过750字,说明选校原因,最好还要描述申请者的背景;
与专业相关的个人和职业经验;学术经历,和职业目标。
三封推荐信:如果申请者选择放弃看推荐信,那么一定要在网申中选择Waive。申请者有义务确保推荐人按时把推荐信提交给学校。
【南加州大学】
录取者条件分析:南加州大学是美国西岸历史最悠久的一所私立学校,很受国际生欢迎,中国学生尤其多。南加州大学是要求申请者至少要有跟TESOL或者是教学相关的经验。如果有相关的一年或者是多年的工作经验,学校会更喜欢一些。
虽然其官方要求TOEFL超过90(各项不低于20),但是录取中的分数往往很高。比如,2015年的被录取的申请者最低分数为97。对于申请这个专业的国际生,学校还是很少给奖学金的。同样,如果学生的软硬性条件都具备的话,还是尽可能早的申请。早申请,早录取。
文书概要:
简历:无特殊要求。
2封推荐信:申请者要确保推荐人按时提交推荐信。
短文(Essay):这个短文是3个问题。不要用个人陈述来替代小短文。
【波士顿大学】
录取者条件分析:历史悠久的波士顿大学由于浓厚的学术气息也一直是众多申请者的垂涎之校。其申请难度也跟南加大齐肩。其官网明确要求TOEFL分数最低为100,另外对各项小分也都有要求W22,S23,R21,L18。根据以往的录取结果来看,所录取的申请者TOEFL最低分为100分。相关实习和工作经验对申请结果也是大有裨益的。给国际生的奖学金也是非常少的。文书概要:
简历:简历是一个相关工作经验和教育经历的总结。可以相应的展示相关活动。奖励和兴趣。BU没有确切的格式要求。
推荐信:至少要提交2封推荐信。但如果申请者想要提交更多的推荐信,也是允许的。
个人陈述(Statement of Qualifications and Objectives): 两倍行距和2页左右。申请人要描述出自己为什么符合申请条件。
小短文(optional): 写不写小短文,是申请者自己的选择。如果申请人有值得录取委员额外注意的经历,那么可以选择在这里体现出来。
【罗切斯特大学】
录取者条件分析:罗彻斯特大学是一个财力殷实的学校,美国本土上这所学校的学生多数家境比较好。它是为数不多的在一定时间段提交可以免申请费的学校。其官网上对学生的硬性条件并没有明确要求。根据以往被录取的学生,学生的TOEFL分数一定要90+。GPA至少也要达到3.3/4.0。相应实习经历和工作经验也是必须的。很多被录取的学生都能够给几千刀的奖学金。
文书概要: 简历:无特殊要求。个人陈述:无特殊要求。推荐信:至少2封。
小短文:回答一个问题-怎么学英语?Writing Sample: 可以是之前的学期论文,但是一定是英文的,5-6页即可。可以是对一个教育问题的讨论。另外,论文一定要有明确的论点,参考文献和引用。要用科研论文的标准格式。最终上传到网申中。
上面就是小编介绍的TESOL常申的4所院校。总的来讲,软硬性条件对录取结果都有着决定性作用,如果能早一点把自己的语言成绩考出来,那么还是尽早申请的好。
第四篇:美国大学申请文书1
美国大学申请优秀文书范文
I wake up every morning to its rich scent.My parents cannot start the day with out it.I often wait in line and pay $3.85 to buy it.The senior lodge at my school is littered with empty Starbucks cups containing only the remnants of skim lattes, , and mocha frapuccinos.Coffee is a staple of American life that many take for granted, but few take the time to think about how they get it.In the rural village of Cadillo in the Dominican Republic, the people’s livelihood depends on coffee.Rows of green coffee plants line steep hills and scatter the countryside.The people there pick and sell the coffee beans but receive little profit for their hard work.During the week I spent in Cadilloplaying , I witnessed the poverty these coffee farmers endure.Their homes are small and dark, furnished with only a few wooden chairs, a table and a few beds.There is no lawyers and electricity in Cadillo and I especially remember the emptiness of the village at night, when I could only vaguely see the faces I illuminated with my flashlight.I can still see the shiny metal bowl in which they used to bathe, and Jose, a neighbor who was missing several teeth because like most people in Cadillo, he lacks a toothbrush and could not afford a.These images still burn in my mind, but it was the people of Cadillo more than anything who opened my eyes to the importance of social justice.Before I met them it was just a concept I heard about a few times a year at church when a missionary would come to speak about the poor people in Africa or South America and explain why it was our duty to help them.These people were far removed.A small fraction of my weekly allowance, once a year, and I could remove them from my mind.After living for a week with a family in Cadillo, however, I understood for the first time that it was real people leading these lives.The family I stayed with there took me in as part of their family and gave me a taste of their life.I remember my Dominican father, Barilla’s face as he played guitar and how he laughed kindly when I struggled to play the chords he had taught me.I could feel the warmth and sincerity of my Dominican mother, Marsela, when she sat and talked with me about my home and family after a long day of work.And I will always remember how much fun I had playing catch or blowing bubbles with their two children, Jendi and Andisco.I will not forget the images I saw or the people I encountered.They made me realize that my work does not end with the school I helped build, the holes I helped dig, or the roads I helped widen.They showed me that there are real, wonderful people being treated unjustly and that I cannot sit back and let that happen.I cannot be silent when I know that people are getting rich off the coffee Barilla receives so little for.It is my responsibility to be active, to teach what I have learned, to fight injustices in my community and the world.I am not sure if I will ever visit Cadillo again but I do know that I can continue what I started there.I can tell people what I saw and spread awareness about injustice in the world.I can volunteer in my own
美国大学申请优秀文书范文
community to help make changes at home and fundraise to aid third world countries.And tomorrow, after I wake up to the smell of fresh coffee, I can make a difference.啄木鸟教育编译:我每天早晨在它的浓郁的香气中醒来;没有它,我父母就没办法开始新一天的工作生活;我常常排着队,然后付上3.85美元买到它。我学校的高级旅馆里堆满了空的星巴克杯子,杯子里还有拿铁、摩卡的残留物。咖啡是美国人生活的一部分,许多人理所当然的享受着,很少有人花时间想过咖啡是怎么来的。
在多米尼加共和国有一个农村叫Cadillo,当地居民赖以生计的只有咖啡。一排排绿色的咖啡树长在陡峭的山坡上、围着村子分散开来。人们采摘咖啡豆,然后卖出,这样辛苦的劳作只换来微薄的收入。
我在Cadillo游玩过一个星期,我亲眼目睹了这些种植咖啡的农民们所忍受的贫困。他们的房子小、而且阴暗,里面的家具只有几张木头做的椅子、一张桌子及几张床。这里没有律师,没有电。我尤其记得Cadillo村里晚上的空寂,那些晚上,我只能通过我的手电筒微弱的光看到模糊的脸。我还记得他们洗漱用的磨得发亮的金属盆。Jose是我在村里住的那一家的邻居,他像Cadillo村许多人一样缺了几颗牙齿,他没有牙刷,因为买不起。
这些画面仍然在我的脑海里翻滚,但正是Cadillo村里的人比其他所有更让我见识到社会公平的重要性。在我遇到他们之前,“”社会公平”只是一个概念,每年在教堂里会听到几次,牧师会说非洲及南美的穷苦难民以及我们为什么有义务帮助他们。这些人离我这么遥远,尽管以前我会从每个星期的费用省下一点,每年把省下来的钱捐一次出去。然而,在我同Cadillo的人们生活了一个星期后,我才第一次理解到真有人是这样生活着。
我在Cadillo生活的那家人待我如亲人,让我体验了一番他们的生活是什么样子。我记得我的多米尼加爸爸Barilla。他弹吉他时的模样,他教我学乐器以及看我费劲拉弦时怎么温和地笑我。我能感受到我多米尼加妈妈Marsela的温暖和真诚,在她一天的长时间劳作之后,她坐下来和我唠家常,谈我的家乡、我的家人。我也将永远记得我和他们的两个孩子Jendi、Andisco追逐打闹吹泡泡的乐趣。
我永远不会忘记这些画面,不会忘记我遇到的人。是他们让我意识到我的责任不仅仅是帮助建设学校、挖洞种树和修宽道路。他们让我真实的看到这样一群善良的人受到不平等的对待,而我不能坐视不理。看到有人从咖啡获取暴利而我的多米尼加爸爸却得到很少,我无法沉默。我要积极主动、去教给别人我所学到的,去为我生活在的社区以及世界出现的不平等斗争,这是我的职责。
我不确定我以后是否还会去Cadillo,我能确定的是我会将从那里得到的继续下去。我会把我看到的告诉他人,让大家意识到这世界存在的不平等事实。我会在我生活的周边社区志愿服务,改变家乡,会为第三世界募捐。而当我明天闻着咖啡的香气中醒来,我知道我能为世界变美好做一点贡献
第五篇:申请美国大学入学文书范本
申请美国大学入学文书范本
I guess it was inevitable that I’d be on hockey skates at some point in mylife, but I did not expect that I’d become one of a rare group of female icehockey officials before I even reached high school.Being born into a family ofhockey players and figure skaters, it seemed that my destiny had already beendecided.Right from the beginning, my two older brothers and my father strapped meup and threw me onto the ice.I loved it and, in my mind, I was on my way tobecoming a female Gretzky!But my mom had to think of something fast to drag herlittle girl away from this sport of ruffians.Enter my first hot pink figureskating dress!That was all it took to launch fifteen years of competitivefigure skating.Even though figure skating soon became my passion, I always hadan unsatisfied yearning for ice hockey.It took a great deal of convincing frommy parents that competitive figure skating and ice hockey didn’t mix.My compromise became refereeing ice hockey;little did I know that I wasbeginning an activity that would influence my character and who I am today.WhenI began, I would only work with my dad and brothers.Everyone was friendly andaccepting because I had just started.I soon realized though that to get betterI needed to start refereeing with people I wasn’t related to, and that’s when myexperience drastically changed.An apologetic smile and an “I’m sorry” wasn’tgoing to
get me through games now.As I began officiating higher-level games anddealing with more arrogant coaches, I suddenly entered a new male-dominatedworld, a world I had never experienced before.My confidence was shot, and all Iwanted to do was get through each game and be able to leave.Sometimes I waseven too scared to skate along the teams’ benches because I would get upset bywhat the coaches would yell to me.“Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” was atypical comment that coaches would spit at me during the course of a game.Intheir eyes, I did not belong on that ice, and they were going to do whateverthey could do to make sure no women wanted to officiate their games.I wasdetermined not to let them chase me off the ice.I made the decision to stand up for myself.I never responded rudely to thecoaches, but I did not let them walk all over me and destroy my confidenceanymore.I started to act and feel more like the 4-year certified AtlanticDistrict Official that I am.There were still a few situations that scared me.One time I called a penalty in a championship game during the third overtime andthe team I penalized ended up losing because they got scored on.I knew I hadmade the right call, even though I was unnerved when I saw the losing teams’parents waiting for me at my locker room;for the moment I wished I hadn’tcalled that penalty.Although it was scary at the time, I stood my ground andovercame my fears.That was an important
stepping-stone in my officiating careerand in my life.After four years of refereeing, I still can’t say it’s easy.Every gamehands me something new and I never know what to expect.Now I have theconfidence and preparation to deal with the unexpected, on and off the ice.Inow also know to take everything with a grain of salt and not let it get to me.I have learned that life is just like being out on the ice;if I am prepared andact with confidence, I will be perceived as confident.These are the littlelessons that I’m grateful to have learned as a woman referee.Things to Notice About This Essay
1.The author tells an interesting story about her experiences as areferee.2.A sense of her personality—determination, flexibility, good humor—comesthrough in the narration.3.Details like “Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” make the narrationmemorable(we’d love to hear more of these kinds of details).4.The essay needs a faster start.The first paragraph(three sentences)says the same thing in both the first and third sentences—and gives away theessay’s surprise in the second!A good revision would delete all of paragraphone and start at paragraph two.5.There’s too much frame here and not enough picture.The essay needsfurther development, especially about the difficulties of
becoming and being aref, to keep it vivid.6.The author should “dwell” in the meaning of the experience a little moreat the end—“I wonder about…I also think…Sometimes I believe….” Significantexperiences like this one, woven through many years of the author’s life, don’tmean just one thing—there are more insights and lessons to explore here.