第一篇:心灵鸡汤感悟语
人生在于坚持
奇迹改变人生
改变人生从自己做起
人生都有开花的时间
人生之旅从选定目标开始
人生也有歧路
人生是一曲交响乐
负重,才不会跌倒
幸福是一种选择
幸福不需要列单子
给别人的幸福让道
快乐是一种流动的空气
幸福像阳光一样
幸福是一种感觉
幸福是灵魂的香味
心是花园
感激是唯一的态度
别太把自己当回事
人生如水
做一朵花的知己
把怨恨留在身后
宽容是金
人生在于选择
看中自己
意志激励人身生
没有比脚更长的路
穿透灵魂的微笑
除了你自己,没人能打败你
世界会你让路
给人玫瑰,手留余香
一枚硬币也能成功
绝望时再等一下
山不过来,我就过去
请把焦点对准我欣赏是一种善良
以小博大的成功之道
退一步也是成功
给自己树一面旗帜
爱在盛开
爱就是谅解
爱就要说出来
明天就在眼前
只要心中有爱
爱如花园
放下包裹赶路
世间万物不可能十全十美。补丁无法避免,人的生命也一样,会出现伤害、残疾和疾病。既然你无法改变伤口的存在,就不要指望暴露伤口让人同情,那没有任何意义。你能做的和必须做的就是用补丁缝合伤口,尽力在伤口上开出最美丽的花朵,而这正是人生的意义。
其实酿蜜的过程就象是由青春到老年的过程。人生里的一点泪水可以使回忆变得更加甜美。
生活就是这样:当你处在人生的雨季时如果你无法尽快找到防止雨淋的方法,就要被雨水淋透,但如果你决定摆脱,你就会发现,雨季并不象你原来想的那样长。一切都是那么简单:没有伞,就跑!跑出人生的雨季,你前面就会是一片晴朗的天空。
一夜间,人生的帐篷突然丢了,有人惊慌失措,有人认为天踏地陷,有人以为大难将至。人们习惯了头顶有帐篷的生活。其实,真正的美好往往是在意外中发现的。有一顶帐篷,才有安全感,这是人们的惯常思维。人生的那顶““帐篷””,可能是财富、职业、固定的收入、社交或人际关系,在日常生活中被当作庇护,貌似重要无比,丢了才会发现,其实更美好的事物被他挡在外面。比如,丢了帐篷,却拥有了满天的星星。
悲剧往往就是这样发生的:忠诚的人被误解,被误解的人不能坚持到底。
你的才能是上帝赐给你的礼物。利用它是你给上帝的礼物。要永远追逐自己的梦想、决不放弃。她曾告诉我说:争取摘到月亮,因为即使你坠落,也会落在群星间。离开时不能给人留下更幸福、更美好的印象,千万不要让任何人到你身边来。
当你认为自己最重要时,请记住,你的天使总是在守护着你。帕帕德罗斯博士:“我是镜子的一个碎片,我并不知道整个镜子的图案和形状。不过,我尽力把光照射到世界上那些黑暗的地方,照射到人们心灵的黑暗处,让一些人有所改变。说不定其他人看到,也会这样做。这就是我的看法。这就是人生的意义。”
有人做一件事付出努力,就想看到结果。改变别人是事倍功半,改变自己则事半功倍。一个人最好扪心自问,为什么要求别人的多,要求自己的少。如果你尽最大可能去关心别人的利益,你的努力就会产生效果。如果你审视自己的内心世界,检查自我,打扫干净其中的尘埃,而不是眼睛盯着别人,你会发现,在自己愉快的同时,也为别人创造了舒适的环境。”
生活并不总是以我们得到的答案为基础,而且也以我们提出的问题为基础。怜悯与尊严使爱心得到了升华。
你就是那小小的一滴水。你的生命涨落反映了所有生命的涨落,当你平静下来,放慢速度,与周围环境融为一体时,就会认识到大自然为你提供了对生命的相似理解。被称为“我”的小小水滴是生命海洋的一个完整部分。当你自己的精神和天地万物的精神和在一起时,你的力量才会最优美地呈现出来。深呼吸,保持平静,开始注意和欣赏你周围世界的涨落„„你会发现宇宙的力量正是滋养你生命的力量。
新生活从选定方向开始。
给每棵草开花的时间,给每个人以证明价值的机会,不要盲目的拔掉一棵草,不要草率的否定一个人,那我们将会得到多少人生的“腊兰”啊!
“我从来不记忆和思考词典、手册里的东西,我的脑袋只用来记忆和思考那些还没载入书本的东西。”正因为此,爱因斯坦才在科学史册上留下了深深的、闪光的足迹。
每个人都希望梦想成真,成功却似乎远在天边、遥不可及,怠慢和不自信让我们怀疑自己的能力,放弃努力。其实,我们不必想以后的事情,只要想着今天要做些什么,明天该做些什么,然后努力去完成成功的喜悦就会慢慢地滋润我们的生命。
在生命的进程中,我们不能不用“减法”。认得生命只有一次,我们在岁末年初时,不能不鞭策自己,算一算自己失去了什么,得到了什么,是“收获”大于“支出”,还是“支出”大于“收获”。在生命的进程中,我们不能不用“加法”。因为人生不能假设,我们知道了儿时的天真,知道了年轻时的莽撞,积累了人生经验,知道了如何把握自己。“减法”给我们带来了压力使我们明白了人生的苦短、岁月的无情。“加法”给我们带来了希望,使我们增添了阅历,积累了财富。时光老人对每个人都是公平的,哪怕你历尽坎坷,遭遇挫折,也都是一种经历的积累。这种积累使我们更加聪明、更加理智。有了这种积累,新的一年里,我们的步伐就会更矫健,更加沉稳,更加自信。
爱是生命中最好的养料,哪怕只是一勺清水,它都能使生命之树茁壮成长。
我们的价值不在于我们做什么、知道是谁,而在于你是谁。你与众不同——永远别忘记这一点。
交响乐是生命的象征,尤其是在团队中。每个人都是交响乐中重要的一部分。
那些得过且过、空耗时光的人,就象一个没有乘水的空木桶,往往一场人生的风雨便把他们彻底打翻了。
反夫总是为名利、空幻的东西而奔波、辛劳,而这一切都只在于一贪念,而贪念往往会蒙蔽我们辨别是非的能力。有的人认为。人生很苦,要赶快找解脱的方法,因此转而寻求宗教信仰;但是,如果信仰没有正如、正见、正念,路就会走偏了。所以,我们应该要选择正确的人生方向,断恶修善,体悟真理。世间的物质不过如水中倒影般虚无,因此要长怀知足之心,对人生事物能善解、包容、感恩,凡是就能圆融,这样就能天天过得心平气和,拥有一个幸福的人生。
理解并接受真正的幸福和娱乐无关,我们就能获得最大限度的解放。它解放时间:现在我们可以把更多时间用于那些能真正增加我们幸福的活动。它解放金钱:买那辆汽车或那些时尚衣服现在不会增加我们的幸福。而且它把我们从嫉妒中解放出来:我们现在理解了那些我们确信幸福、令人向往的富人,因为他们其实根本不幸福。
娱乐不会带来幸福,就会开始以不同的方式生活。其效果肯定会改变人生。我们总是盯着痛苦,而快乐常常是被我们忽略的那部分。
心静。这是上帝保留的礼物。他把才能和美丽赐予许多人。财富是平凡的,名望也不稀罕,但心静才是他恩准的最后赏赐,是他最温柔的爱的象征。多数人从来没有这种福气,有些人则等了一辈子——是的,一直等到了老态龙钟,才等到这个赏赐降临到他们身上。
幸福不是一种更准确的说是一种刺激。幸福是我们对自己生命中每一天做出的有意选择,因为某些我无法知道的原因,很多人在大部分时间选择痛苦、沮丧和愤怒。幸福不是我们拥有自己想要的东西后才能出现的东西,常常是我们先选择让自己幸福、然后才能得到的东西。
在世的每一天都好好过,因此我常常拥有一个又一个幸福的好日子。
幸福自有其道德基础。获得幸福的首要一步就是尽量减少忧虑,这关键的第一步能让我们避开忧虑。它要求我们勇于接受毫无预想的一切,坦然面对生活中的一切烦恼。
幸福的秘密在于欣赏世界上所有的奇观异景,同时永远不要忘记汤匙里的两滴油。生活中,很多时候,我们都会感到失望、沮丧和苦恼。我们不必较真去寻找它们。我们拥有一个充满美丽、光明和希望的奇妙世界。我们环顾四周,就可以看到这些奇妙事情,为什么要把时间浪费在寻找伤心、失望和苦恼上呢?
当我们主动摊开双手迎接太阳时,阳光自然就会照到我们。
爱从来不会衰败。秀发会失去原有的光彩。脸颊会日渐暗淡消瘦。但有爱的心中,从来没有冰霜寒冬,夏天的温热永远依旧。
有怎样的心灵,就有怎样的世界;有怎样的心灵,就有怎样的人生。心有阴 p54,命运就会黯淡无光;胸藏阳光,生活就会明媚而幸福。
第二篇:心灵鸡汤--感悟亲情
Mother’s Hands Night after night, she came to tuck me in, even long after my childhood years.Following her longstanding custom, she’d lean down and push my long hair out of the way, then kiss my forehead.I don’t remember when it first started annoying me-her hands pushing my hair that way.But it did annoy me, for they felt work-worn and rough against my young skin.Finally, one night, I shouted out at her, “Don’t do that anymore-your hands are too rough!” She didn’t say anything in reply.But never again did my mother close out my day with that familiar expression of her love.Time after time, with the passing years, my thoughts returned to that night.By then I missed my mother’s hands, missed her goodnight kiss on my forehead.Sometimes the incident seemed very close, sometimes far away.But always it lurked in the back of my mind.Well, the years have passed, and I’m not a little girl anymore.Mom is in her mid-seventies, and those hands I once thought to be so rough are still doing things for me and my family.She’s been our doctor, reaching into a medicine cabinet for the remedy to calm a young girl’s stomach or soothe the boy’s scraped knees.She cooks the best fried chicken in the world and gets stains out of blue jeans like I never could…
Now, my own children are grown and gone.Mom no longer has Dad, and on special occasions, I find myself drawn next door to spend the night with her.So it was late on Thanksgiving Eve, as I slept in the bedroom of my youth, a familiar hand hesitantly run across my face to brush the hair from my forehead.Then a kiss, ever so gently, touched my brow.In my memory, for the thousandth time, I recalled the night my young voice complained, “Don’t do that anymore-your hands are too rough!” Catching Mom’s hand in hand, I blurted out how sorry I was for that night.I thought she’d remember, as I did.But Mom didn’t know what I was talking about.She had forgotten-and forgiven-long ago.That night, I fell asleep with a new appreciation for my gentle mother and her caring hands.And the guilt that I had carried around for so long was nowhere to be found.母亲的手
夜复一夜,她都过来给我掖被子,甚至在我的童年过去很久之后还是那样。这种习惯由来已久,她常常俯下身,拨开我的长发,然后吻我的前额。
我不记得最初从什么时候开始讨厌她用手拨开我的头发。但那的确让我讨厌,因为她长期劳作的手摸在我细嫩的皮肤上是那样粗糙。终于,有一天夜里,我朝她大声喊道:“不要再这样做了——你的手太粗糙了!”她什么也没有说。但母亲再也没有用那种熟悉的爱的方式来结束我的一天。
光阴荏苒,日月如梭,许多年后,我的思绪又回到了那天夜里。那时我想念母亲的手,想念她留在我前额上的晚安之吻。有时这情景似乎很近,有时又似乎很远。但它总是潜伏在我的脑海深处。
噢,时光流逝,我不再是小姑娘了。母亲也已经七十四五岁了,那双我曾认为粗糙的手仍在为我和我的家庭做事。她是我们的医生,常常伸手去药箱里给我胃疼的女儿找药或为我的儿子擦伤的膝盖敷药。她能做出世界上味道最美的炸鸡,能洗掉牛仔裤上我永远洗不掉的污点„„
现在,我自己的孩子都已经长大成人,离开了家。爸爸也撒手而去了。在那些特殊时刻,我常常情不自禁地走到隔壁,和她一起过夜。因此,一次感恩节前夕,到了深夜,我睡在年轻时的卧室里时,一只熟悉的手迟疑地滑过了我的脸,拨开了我前额的头发,随后一个吻触在了我的前额上,是那样轻柔。
我在记忆里无数次回想起那天夜里我年轻气盛发的牢骚:“不要再那样做了——你的手太粗糙了!”我握住母亲的手,脱口说出了我是多么后悔那天夜里自己所说的话。我以为她会像我一样记得这件事。但妈妈不知道我在说什么。她早已忘记了这件事,也早已原谅了我。
那天夜里,我带着对温柔母亲和她体贴双手的新的感激之情进入了梦乡。而且我长久以来的内疚感也消失得无影无踪了。
Are You Cold, Mother?
On a heavy snowy day in winter, the two men walked along a valley.After trudging for one whole day, they came to a grave.The grave was covered with the thick snow, the tombstone looking very simple.The older man said to the young man, “This is your mother’s grave...” The young man knelt down on the snow.The story took place in 1952.In order to save the Korean War from losing, the “UN forces” reinforced a group of soldiers, among whom Wilson was.At that time the most intense fighting occurred here.The strong offensive of the People’s Army made the “UN forces” retreat in defeat successively.On the way to retreat, Wilson was farther and farther away from the troops.At this moment, he suddenly heard a baby’s cry, which came from the snow hole.Wilson instinctively dug up the snow, immediately shocked by what he saw.In a mother’s arms, the infant was crying aloud.What was even more shocking was the mother was naked.It turned out that when the mother carried her baby on the back to take refuge, they were trapped in this valley, for it started snowing heavily.In order to save her baby, the mother gave all her clothes to her child and then tightly held the baby in her arms.Though the naked mother had been dead, the baby in her arms survived.Wilson was deeply moved by such an unexpected scene.He dug a pit with the field-operation tools in the frozen snow, buried the mother and then held the crying baby to pursue the troops.After the war, he adopted this child and took him to the United States to bring up.When the child grew up slowly, Wilson told him what happened that year and took him to the valley to look for his mother.The young man kneeling at the grave burst into tears.After a while, the young man got to his feet and started to clean the snow on the grave.After cleaning the snow around, he undressed his clothes, covered the grave, then threw himself on the grave and spoke out the words concealed in his heart for long, “Mom, how cold you are for so many years!”
妈妈,你冷吗?
一个大雪纷飞的冬日,山谷里来了两个人。走了一整天后,他们来到了一座坟墓前。
坟上积了厚厚的雪,墓碑看起来非常简陋。年长者对年轻人说:“这就是你妈妈的坟墓„„”年轻人跪倒在了雪地上。
故事发生在1952年。为了挽回朝鲜战争败局,“联合国军”增援了一批士兵,威尔逊就是其中一员,当时最激烈的一次战斗就发生在这里。
人民军的强烈攻势使“联合国军”节节败退。撤退途中,威尔逊离大部队越来越远了。就在这时,他突然听到了婴儿的哭声,哭声是从一个雪窟窿里传出来的。威尔逊本能地扒开积雪,顿时被眼前的景象惊呆了。
在一个母亲的怀里,婴儿大声地哭着。更令人吃惊的是,母亲一丝不挂。原来,这位母亲背着孩子避难时,被困在了这个山谷里,天下起了大雪。为了救活自己的孩子,母亲把自己所有的衣服都给了孩子,然后把孩子紧紧抱在怀里。虽然赤裸的母亲已经死去,但她怀中的孩子却活了下来。
威尔逊被这意外的景象深深感动了。他用野战工具在冰冻的雪地上挖了个坑,把这位母亲埋葬了,然后抱着大哭的婴儿追赶大部队去了。
战争结束后,他领养了这个孩子,并把他带到美国去抚养。孩子慢慢长大了,威尔逊把当年发生的事告诉了他,并带着他来到山谷里找妈妈。
跪在坟前的年轻人痛哭失声。
过了一会儿,年轻人站起身,开始清理坟墓上的积雪。他把周围的积雪都清理完,把衣服一件件脱下来盖在了坟墓上,然后扑到坟墓上,说出了久藏在心里的话:“妈妈,这么多年你多冷啊!”
The Potential of Love
On the way home, when she would be home immediately, a young woman looked at her balcony on the fourth floor while her lovely son was also expecting her mother to come back on the balcony.When he saw his mother, his son started waving his hand.At this moment the young woman was also consciously waving her hand.Suddenly, she realized this might be dangerous, but it was already late because her son wanted to greet her, leaned forward, suddenly lost his balance and turned over from the balcony.Then the people in the room were so shocked that all of them rushed to the balcony shouting.When finding her son falling down, she dashed ahead regardless of her safety to save her son.Perhaps God was moved;the son was met by his mother and unharmed.People found it very strange how a young woman ran so fast and could catch her son because according to her running speed she should have broken the 100-meter world record.Later, people asked the 100-meter world champion to do a test: whether he could meet the object with the same weight falling from the balcony in the same distance.The result was he couldn’t make it anyway.Let the young woman test again, but the result was that she couldn’t break the 100-meter world record.Finally, people summarized: the power of love is great.This story illustrates that love can also inspire the potential.爱心的潜能
一位少妇在回家的路上,马上要到家时,习惯地看了一下4楼自家的阳台,可爱的儿子也正在阳台上期待着妈妈回来。当看到妈妈时,儿子开始招手,这时少妇也有意识地招手,突然她意识到这样可能会有危险,但已经晚了。因为儿子要迎妈妈,所以身体前倾,突然失去平衡,从阳台上坠了下来。这时,房间里的 人惊呆了,纷纷跑到阳台上呼叫。妈妈发现儿子掉下来,就奋不顾身地去救儿子,也许是感动了上帝,儿子被妈妈接住了,并且安然无恙。人们都觉得很奇怪,一个少妇怎么跑得那样快,并能接住自己的儿子,因为按当时少妇跑的速度应该已打破了百米世界记录。
后来,人们找百米世界冠军做了一个试验:同样的距离,从阳台上掉下同样重量的物体,看能否接得住。结果是无论如何也接不住。再让这位少妇试,结果也是再也没有看到打破百米世界记录的速度。最后,人们总结为:爱的力量是伟大的。
这个故事说明:爱心同样可以激发潜能。
A Rose for Her Mother
A gentleman stopped his car at the door of a flower shop.He wanted to order a bunch of flowers and asked them to deliver them to his mother who was far in his hometown.He saw a girl crying on the road when he was about to enter the shop.The gentleman walked to the little girl and asked her, “Little girl, why are you crying?”
“I want to buy a rose for my mother, but I haven’t enough money.” said the girl.Hearing that, the gentleman felt sympathetic to the girl.“It was so.....” Then he grasped the girl’s hand and entered the flower shop.He first ordered the bouquet for his mother and bought a rose for the girl.Walking out of the shop, the gentleman proposed driving the girl home.“Would you really drive me home?”
“Of course!”
“Then drive me to my mother.But uncle, the place where my mother lives is very far from here.”
Following the way the girl showed, the gentleman drove out of the urban district along the winding mountain road and finally came to the cemetery.The little girl put the flower close to a new grave.In order to present a rose to her mother who just passed away a month ago, she took a long journey.The gentleman drove the girl to her home, then he return to the flower shop.He cancelled the flower bunch to her mother but bought a big bunch of fresh flower instead.He drove directly to his mother’s home, five-hour drive from here.He would present the flower to his mother in person.送给母亲的玫瑰
有位绅士在花店门口停下了车,他打算向花店订一束花,请他们送去给远在故乡的母亲。
绅士正要走进店门时,发现有个小女孩坐在路上哭,便走到小女孩面前问她说:“孩子,为什么坐在这里哭?”
“我想买一朵玫瑰花送给妈妈,可我的钱不够。”孩子说。
绅士听了,感到心疼。“这样啊„„”于是,绅士牵着小女孩的手走进花店,先订了要送给母亲的花束,然后给小女孩买了一朵玫瑰花。
走出花店时,绅士向小女孩提议,要开车送她回家。
“真的要送我回家吗?”
“当然啊!”
“那你送我去妈妈那里好了。可是,叔叔,我妈妈住的地方离这里很远。”
绅士照小女孩说的一直开了过去,没想到走出市区大马路之后,随着蜿蜒山路前行,竟然来到了墓园。
小女孩把花放在一座新坟旁边。她为了给一个月前刚过世的母亲,献上一朵玫瑰花,而走了一大段远路。
绅士将小女孩送回了家中,然后再次返回花店。他取消了要寄给母亲的花束,而改买了一大束鲜花,直奔离这里有5小时车程的母亲家里,他要亲自将花献给妈妈。
A Daughter’s Love for Her Mother
Dear Mom,I haven’t written many letters to you before, as we’ve almost always been able to just pick up the phone and have a chat, so it’s hard to know how to start.Of course, all the usual things apply-we all miss you and hope you’re all right wherever you are.When you left us, it took a little for it to sink in that I would never see you again.I guess I was a bit like you being away on a trip or those times when we didn’t find the time to even speak on the phone for a week or so.I realize now there are too many things left unsaid and too many questions unasked.Dad is finding life difficult without you and his loneliness is almost unbearable to me, as there’s so little I can do to help him.I think in time he’ll find some interests and make a new kind of life.But at the moment he seems only to look forward to the time when he can join you again.Emily and I are feeling a little better each day and, in a way, your going has brought us closer together.We seem to understand each other better at the moment and maybe eventually we’ll have the sort of relationship that really close sisters enjoy.We’ve both found strengths in each other over the past weeks, and these are a huge comfort.Perhaps we never needed to look for them before because we had you to be strong for us.I guess I’m lucky to have my own children to keep me so busy.I don’t have much time to dwell on my sadness but sometimes I crave the peace to just have a private think about you.For a couple of weeks after you died, my brain seemed to go crazy, searching through its memory banks for something I could keep in my heart which was special to you and me.One day it came to me-the tour we made of some special garden.Remember the day it poured with rain the whole time but we were determined to make the most of it? I enjoyed just being with you by myself, without the children clamoring for your attention.The gardens were beautiful despite the rain and you bought me a rose I’d admired for my own garden.For a while after your death, I expected to feel your presence around me as Dad and Emily seem to do with such ease.When I was out walking, I would look at the sky and wonder whether you could see me, or whether you were with me.At night I wondered whether you’d become a star, as some people believe.But as time passes, I think I’m closer to finding the truth.You’re with me every time I comfort one of the children or try to find the right words to gently chastise them.I listen for your words of wisdom and they come from within me because your greatest gift to me was teaching me how to be a good mother to my own children.And although you’re no longer here with us, I know in times of sadness or pain the children feel your arms around them just as I sense that I feel your arms around me, too.In years to come I hope your gift to me will be passed to my own children’s children.And I know it’s your voice telling me in these changing times the best thing we can give our children is love, because love is eternal and love doesn’t die.So long for now, and thank you from all of us.Happy Mother’s Day, mom.Love Carol
母女情怀
亲爱的妈妈:
以前没有给您写过多少封信,因为我们几乎总能拿起电话聊天,所以很难知道怎么开始写起。
当然,可以用那些老生常谈——一我们都想念您,希望您无论在什么地方都万事如意。
您离开我们时,有一小段时间我陷入了永远无法再见您的思念。我想那有点儿像您出门旅行了,要么就像我们有时一周左右都没时间通电话。
我现在意识到还有太多的话没说,还有太多的问题没问。
没有了您,爸爸发现生活难过,他的孤独让我几乎无法忍受,因为我几乎帮不了他什么忙。我想他最后会找到一些有兴趣的事儿,开始一种新的生活。但是,他现在似乎只盼望能和您再次相聚。
我和埃米莉的感觉渐渐好转。从某种意义上说,您的离去使我们更加亲密。我们此时似乎彼此更加了解,也许最终我们会享有亲密姐妹们享有的那种关系。
在过去的几周里,我们已经从彼此身上找到了力量,这是极大的安慰。也许我们以前从不需要寻求这种力量,因为我们有您做坚强后盾。
我想幸运的是我自己有孩子,使我忙得团团转,没有多少时间沉湎于悲伤,但有时我渴望安静,可以私下去思念您。
在您去世后的两三周里,我的大脑好像发了疯似的,拼命在记忆库里寻找珍藏在我心里的某件事——某件对您我二人都特别亲密的事情。有一天,我终于想起来了—— 一个特别花园进行的那次游览。还记得那天一直大雨倾盆,但我们打定主意要尽情玩玩一下的情景吗?我就喜欢单独和您在一起,没有孩子们大声吵闹使您分心。尽管下着雨,但花园很美:您给我买了一枝玫瑰,我曾希望自己的花园种有这种玫瑰。您去世后的一段时间,我期望能感到您就在我身边,因为爸爸和埃米莉好像轻松自如就能感受到。我在外面散步时,常常仰望天空,想知道您是不是能看到我,或者您是不是和我在一起。夜里,我常常想,您是不是就像有些人相信的那样变成了一颗星星。
但随着时间流逝,我想我越来越近地找到了真实的感觉:每当我安慰一个孩子或要找出合适的词语来轻轻责打他们时,您都和我在一起。如果我留神倾听您的智慧话语,它们就会从我的内心传来,因为您留给我最伟大的礼物就是教会我如何给自己的孩子当一个好妈妈。
尽管您不再和我们一起生活在这里,但我知道在悲伤和痛苦时,孩子们能感到您环抱着他们,就像我感到您环抱着我一样。在未来的岁月里,我希望把您留给我的礼物传给我的子孙们。而且我知道那是您的声音在告诉我,在这变化的时代,我们能留给我们孩子们的最好东西就是爱,因为爱是永恒的,爱不会死去。
就此再见了,我们都衷心感谢您。
母亲节快乐,妈妈!
爱您的卡罗尔
The Hair in the Box Meal In those years of poverty, many classmates often couldn’t bring decent box meal to school, so did my deskmate.His meal was always the black fermented soybean while mine was often ham and fried egg, completely different from his.Moreover, every time my classmate would first pick the hair from his box meal and eat it as if nothing had happened.This discomfortable discovery continued all along.“Obviously his mother is so lousy that even her hair drops in the meal.” My classmates talked about it secretly.I felt it was too dirty but I couldn’t show that for the sake of his self-respect.So my impression on him began to decline greatly.One day after school, he called me and said,“Would you like to go to my home if you’re free?”
Though reluctant, I found it awkward to refuse because this was his first invitation since we were in the same class.Following my friend, we arrived at a poor village located at the Seoul’s steepest place.“ Mum, I bring my friend home.”
Hearing my classmate’s excited voice, his aged mother opened the door and appeared.“My son’s friend comes.Let me have a look.” But his mother, who had walked out of the door, was only touching the door’s beam column with her hands.It turned out that she was blind.I felt sad without a word.My classmate’s box meal was as usual the fermented soybean every day, but it was his blind mother who carefully prepared for him.It was not only a lunch.But also a mother’s brimming love, and even the hair mixed in it was the mother’s love.饭盒里的头发
在那个贫困的年代,很多同学往往连带个像样的午饭盒到学校上课的能力都没,腎,我邻座的同学就是如此。他的饭菜永远是黑黑的豆豉,我的午饭盒却经常装着腿和荷包蛋,两者有着天壤之别。而且这个同学每次都会先从午饭盒里捡出头发后,再若无其事地吃。这个令人浑身不舒服的发现一直持续着。
“可见他妈妈有多邋遢,竟然每天饭里都有头发。”同学们私下议论着。为 了顾及同学自尊,又不能表表现;现出来,总觉得好好脏,因此对这同学的印象也开始大打折扣。
有一天,学校放学后,那同学口吐信任了我:“如果没什什么事,就去我家玩吧。”
虽然心中不太愿意,但自从同班以来,他第一次开口邀请我到家里玩,所以 我不好意思拒绝,就随朋友来到了位于汉城最陡峭地形的某个贫民村。
“妈,我带朋友来了。”
听到同学兴奋的声音后,他年迈的母亲打开了房门,出现在了门口。“我儿 子的朋友来啦,让我看看。”可是,走出房门的同学母亲只是用手摸着房门外的 梁柱。原来她是盲人。
我感到一阵心酸,一句话都说不出来。同学的午饭菜虽然每天如常都是豆 豉,却是眼睛看不到的母亲小心翼翼帮他装的,那不只是一顿午餐,更是母亲满 满的爱心,甚至连掺杂在里面的头发也一样是母亲的爱。
Mom Charged Zero Dollar Texas has a law : any 14-year-old children must share the household chores for the parents, such as washing dishes, scrubbing the floor and mowing the lawns.One Sunday night, smart Tom wrote a bill to his mother:
Tom helped Mom buy the food in the supermarket.So Mom should pay five dollars;Tom got up and folded his quilt, so Mom should pay two dollars;Tom scrubbed the floor, so Mom should pay three dollars;Tom is an obedient good boy, so Mom should pay 10 dollars.The total is 20 dollars.After that, Tom pressed the note on the table and went to bed.When his mother saw it, she smiled tolerantly, added a few lines on it and put it beside Tom’s pillows.Hen Tom woke up, he saw such a bill:
Mom was pregnant with Tom for l0 months, so Tom should pay 0 dollar;Mom taught Tom to speak and walk, so Tom should pay 0 dollar;
Mom made good food for Tom every day, so Tom should pay 0 dollar;
Mom accompanied Tom to the children’s playground every weekend, so Tom should pay 0 dollar.Mom prays for Tom every day, hoping he becomes an angelic lovely little boy, so Tom should pay 0 dollar.The is total is 0 dollar.Now this note is still treasured by Tom.It tells Tom that the real love can’t be measured by money.Other is so generous because she loves too genuinely;Mother is so tolerant because she loves too deeply.When we have such a genuine and deep love in our hearts as Mother, we won’t ask for reward, either.妈妈只收零美元
克萨斯州有一条法律:凡年满14岁的孩子必须为父母分担家务,比如洗 碟子、擦地板和剪草坪。一个星期天的晚上,聪明的汤姆给妈妈写下了一份账单 : 汤姆帮妈妈到超级市场买食品,妈妈应付5美元;
汤姆自己起床叠被,妈妈应付2美元;汤姆擦地板,妈妈应付3美元;
汤姆是一个听话的好孩子,妈妈应付10美元。
合计:20美元。
写完后,汤姆把纸条压在餐桌上,便上床睡觉去了。妈妈看到这张纸条后,宽容地笑了笑,随手在上面添了几行字,放到汤姆的枕边。
汤姆醒来后,看到了这样的一张账单:
妈妈怀了汤姆IO个月,汤姆应付0美元;
妈妈教汤姆说话和走路,汤姆应付0美元;
妈每天为汤姆做好吃的食物,汤姆应付0美元;
妈妈每个周末陪汤姆去儿童乐园,汤姆应付0美元;
妈每天为汤姆祈祷,希望他成为天使般可爱的小男孩,汤姆应付0美元。
合计:0美灵元。
张纸条至今仍被汤姆珍藏着。它告诉汤姆,真正的爱是无法用金钱计量的。
冯妈为什么如此慷慨,因为她爱得太真;妈妈为什么如此宽容,因为她爱得 太深。等我们心中有了妈妈那样真那样深的爱时,我们们也会不图报酬。
Prayer for My Mother
Now that I am no longer young, I have friends whose mothers have passed way.I have heard these sons and daughters say they never fully appreciated their mothers until it was too late to tell them.I am blessed with the dear mother who is still alive.I appreciate her more each day.My mother doesn’t change, but I do.As I grow older and wiser, I realize what an extraordinary person she is.How sad that I am unable to speak these words in her presence.But they flow easily from my pen.How does a daughter begin to thank her mother for life itself? For the love, patience and just plain hard work that go into raising a child? For running after a toddler, for understanding a moody teenager, for tolerating a college student who knows everything? For waiting for the day when a daughter realizes her mother really is?
I don’t know how, dear God, except to bless her as richly as she deserves and o help me live up to the example she has set.I pray that I will look as good in the eyes of my children as my mother looks in mine.为母亲祈祷
不再年轻,一些朋友的母亲已经去世了。我曾听这些子女们说过,他们从 没有向自己的母亲充分表示过感激之情,直到想告诉她们时为时已晚。
我庆幸自己亲爱的母亲仍然健在。我对她的感激与日俱增。母亲没有变,但 我却变了。随着年龄的增长,我越来越懂事,我认识到她是一个多么非凡的人。我对自己在她面前说不出这些话感到难过,但这些话却能轻松地流诸笔端。
一个女儿如何开口感谢她的母亲给予的生命呢?是感谢她在抚养孩子时付出 爱、耐心和平常的辛劳?是感谢她跟在蹒跚学步的孩子身后奔跑,对喜怒无常 少女的理解和对一个自以为是的大学生的宽容?还是感谢她等待女儿认识到她 是一位真正母亲的这一天?
亲爱的上帝,我不知道该如何表达,除了你好好保佑她——她应该得到——并帮助我做到以她为榜样。我祈祷,在自己的孩子们的眼里,我会像母亲在我的里一样好。
All I Am I Owe to My Mother All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me.They have clung to me all my life.
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw.All I am I owe to my other.I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.There never was a woman like her.She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness...The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with.And on that capital I have made my way.A good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.Youth fades;love droops;the leaves of friendship fall.A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.God couldn’t be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.He most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.In all my efforts to learn to read, my mother shared fully my ambition and sympathize with me and aided me in every way she could.If I have done anything n life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother.Seems to me that my mother was the most splendid woman I ever knew...I have met a lot of people knocking around the world since, but I have never met a more thoroughly refined woman than my mother.If I have amounted to anything, it will be due to her.我所有的一切都归功于母亲
论我现在还是希望以后怎么样,都应归功于天使般的母亲。我记得母亲的些祷告,它们总是与我相随,伴我一生。
我;的母亲是我见过的最漂亮的女人。我所有的一切都归功于我的母亲。我一 中所有的成就怒归功于我从她那里得到的德智体的教育。
来没有一个女人像她那样。她像鸽子一样温柔,像母狮一样勇敢„„毕,对母亲的记忆和她的教诲是我人生起步的唯一资本,并奠定了我的人生之路。
一位好母亲抵得上一百名老师。
春易逝,爱情会枯,友谊的绿叶会掉落。母亲内心的希望却比它们都要 长久。
帝不可能无处不在,因此他创造了母亲。
亲的心是一个深渊,在它的最深处你总会找到宽恕。
父亲能为孩子所做的最重要的事就是爱他们的母亲。
我努力学习阅读的过程中,母亲充分分享我的抱负、同情我,并尽她所能
帮助我。如果我一生中做了什么值得关注的事情,那一定是因为我继承了母亲的 气质。
我来说,我的母亲是我认识的优秀的女人„—我遇到过很多世人,但从未 遇上比母亲更优雅的女人。如果我有所成就的话,这要归功于她。
Think of My Mother Far-off My mother doesn’t read a word, but she would read each of my letters for several times, even in the middle of the night.My mother is at pains to read her son’s days away from home.My mother would worry about my each voice for coughing that she couldn’t eat or sleep for three days and three nights;and she would worry about one of my cold for an entire winter.As I grow up day by day, my mother would speak less and less.All the days and nights are elongating the distance between mother and me.When I speak, she would listen to me quietly by the side;when I change my clothes, she would take it to wash quietly;hen the wind blows, she would get up in the moonlight, close the doors and windows carefully and walk on tiptoe out of my room;when it is cold, she would put one of my clothes on my bed silently.But I once ignored my mother’s existence.Until one day I knew my mother sitting on the threshold far-off and listenin9ig to my news, rain or sunshine.Mother, please don’t release your hand, for in front of you I’m a child who will never grow up.On the road to a long journey, I still have too much confusion and hesitation, so I need your hands to guide me.Since then, when I fall silent, I would think of my mother.我想起远方的母亲
母亲不认识一个字,但我的每一封信她都要看几遍,甚至在半夜,母亲是用 心去阅读儿子在外的日子。母亲会为我的一声咳嗽担心得三天三夜吃不下、睡不着,会为我的一次感冒担心整整一个冬季。
随着我的日益长大,母亲的话越来越少,所有的日日夜夜都在拉长我和母亲 之间的距离。我说话,她就在一旁默默地听;我换下衣服,她就默默地拿去洗;起风了,她就会摸着月色爬起来,小心翼翼地关好门窗,然后蹑手蹑脚地走出我 房间;天冷了,她就会拿一件衣服默默地放在我的床边。
而我却一度忽略了母亲的存在,直到有一天才知道,远方有我的母亲坐在门 上夕从风里雨里聆听我的消息,母亲,请你不要松开你的手,在你面前,我是一夸永遗长不大的孩子,远行的路上,我还有太多的迷惘与彷徨,要你的双手牵引。
从此,沉默岭肘候,我就会想起母亲。
Mother’s Strength There were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowlands and the other high in the mountains.One day the mountain people invaded the lowlanders, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains.The lowlanders didn’t know how to climb the mountain.They didn’t know any clue of the path that the mountain people used, and they didn’t know where to find he mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain.Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home.The men tried first one method of climbing and then another.After several days of efforts, however, they had climbed only a couple of hundred Feet.Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlanders decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below.As they were packing their gear for he descent, they saw the baby’s mother walking toward them.They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn’t figured out how to climb.And they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back.How could that be?
One man greeted her and said,“We, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn’t climb this mountain* How did you do this”
He mother shrugged her shoulders and said, “It isn’t your baby.” As long as you have love in your heart, no mountain you cannot climb.母亲的力量
安第斯山有两个敌对的部落,—一个部落住在低地,另一个住在高山上。
有一天,山上部落侵略山下部落。在对山下部落抢劫中,他们绑架了一户人 家的婴儿,并把婴儿带上了山。
山下部落的人不知道怎么才能爬上山。他们不知道山上部落走的山道的任何线索,也某嘉羞左哪里找到山上部落,更不知道怎样在陡峭鸥的山地跟踪追击。
尽管如此,他们仍然派自己部落中最优秀、最勇敢的战士照上山,把孩子抢同来:,战十们尝试了一个又一个十方法。然而,努力了了好好几天之后,他们仅仅爬了几百英尺。山下部落的战十们感到绝望无助。认为没办法爬到山上去。准备回到 下的村庄。正当他们收拾丁具准备返回山下时,只见那个婴儿的母亲正朝他们 走来。他们意识到她下来的那座山山正是他们知道怎样爬的那座山。随后,他们 到她背着那个婴儿。这怎么可能呢?
一个战士跟她打招呼说:“我们是部落中最强壮、最能干的男人,都爬不上 山。你是怎么做到的呢?”
亥子的母亲耸了耸肩,说:“那不是你们的孩子。”
只要心中有爱,没有爬不过去的高山。
The Most Fragrant Smell of Medicine
That year I jobbed at a Chinese traditional medicine store whose business was not bad and who decocted medicinal herbs for patients.So the store was filled with the heavy herbal smell, which made the passer-bys cover their noses.I found, without knowing from which day, a boy of thirteen or fourteen years old sat on the stairs before the store for a while every day, which l felt so unusual.One day, I asked him, “Do you like the herbal smell? He said gently, “I grew up in this kind of smelll!”
He said his mother took herbal medicines year after year, so he was able to decoct herbs for his mother when he was very young.He decocted herbs with deep affection, hoping his mother would recover as soon as possible
I asked, “Is your mother fully recovered?”
He shook his head and said, “My mother passed away three years ago!” I felt depressed for a moment.Gazing far away, he went on, “When I first passed by here and smelled the herbs, I suddenly thought of my mother.Thinking of those days when she was alive, I would feel warm in my heart.So I come here every day to sit for a moment.In such a smell, I would feel as if my mother were waiting for her medicine in her room!”
最美的药味
那一年,我在街角的一家中药铺打工。药铺生意还不错,而且代熬中草药,药铺周围弥漫着浓浓的中药味,路人往往掩鼻而行。
不知从哪一天起,我发现有个十三四岁的少年每天都要在药铺前的台阶上坐 一会儿,这让我很奇怪。有一天,我问他:“你很喜欢中药的味道吗?” 他轻轻地说:“我就是在这种气味中长大的!”他说他妈妈常年喝中药,他小小的年纪便能给妈妈熬中药了。他每天殷勤地熬药,希望妈妈能早日好起来。
我问:“你妈妈现在全好了吧?”他摇摇头说:“妈妈3年前去世了!”我一 时黯然。他看着远方,说:“第一次经过这里时,闻到熬药的味儿,我一下子就想起了妈妈,想起了她在世时的那些日子,心里就觉得暖暖的。于是,我每天来这里坐上一会儿,在这种气味里,我就觉得妈妈正在屋子里等着喝药呢!”
第三篇:读《心灵鸡汤》有何感悟
读《心灵鸡汤》的收获
从初中到现在《心灵鸡汤》这本书我已经读了许多遍了。里面的故事很温馨,在我在闲下来的时候,静静的读着。我喜欢读英文版的,这样不仅可以学习英语,还可以更深刻的理解文章的内涵。
因为有爱,所以人与人之间得以互动,维持人际关系的和谐。在讲求功利主义的现实社会中仍有许多默默付出的义工,到医院照顾病人,到教养院关怀那些孤单的老伯伯、老婆婆,带给他们欢乐时光„„等许多热心服务的事,这些不知名的义工不惜牺牲自己的休息时间,也要为社会贡献一点关怀的精神,真是值得为他们拍手鼓励。“施比受更有福”,许多人不了解这句话的真正含义而起了疑问,觉得应该是“受比施更有福”才对,当我们对他人付出关爱而不求回报,内心才会真正的快乐,有满足而平静的感觉。在“解救海星”这篇文章中有人感到疑问∶海滩上有成千上万的海星,犹如天上繁星,这样做并不能改变什麼。他微笑,仍是弯下腰再度拾起另一只海星,当他把海星丢进海中的时候,喃喃的说∶“又改变了一只海星的命运了。”也许一个人付出的关怀在大环境之下显得非常地渺小,但仍然有它的力量和作用,如同“又改变了一只海星的命运了。”这句话的意义一样,一个人的力量很微小,但如果能推己及人,大家所发挥的爱将是无法衡量的,所以千万别小看自己的贡献。每个人都有付出关怀的权利和能力,只要肯付出真爱,即使是一个关怀的眼神、一个灿烂的微笑、一个温暖的拥抱,都会让接近你的人有如沐春风的感觉,身旁的世界也会因此更明亮,所以不要忽视爱的力量,因为它有时候可以改变一
个人的未来。
在世界上,每个人都是独一无二的个体,各有不同的内涵与特质,各自的成长环境与出身背景也不尽相同。即使是双胞胎,面貌相似、生活条件一样,但他们终究是不同的个体,人生际遇和休闲兴趣也各有差异,所以我们何必强求自己事事实与别人相同呢?不要一味的模仿别人,怕自己落伍了,就赶紧有样学样和大家一起流行。人之所以可贵,在於能自我主宰,爱自己就是能深刻了解自己,认识自己,接纳自己的一切,一言一行都有自己的个性,做自己的主人,认清自己,肯定自己,脚踏实地的活出自我,这才是最重要的。
人的一生都应学习,尤其现在是知识爆发的时代,更应该不断的充实自己,科技日渐发达进步,各种事物的变迁,唯有学习各种不同的事物,才能在多元化的社会中生存。知识就是力量,能使自己有良好的判断力,是非分明,可以有更好的处理能力。国父生前虽在巅沛流离之中,经济拮据之时,仍不忘读书,可见国父身处在困苦的环境中,还是不断地学习。“盛年不重来,一日难再晨,及时当勉励,岁月不待人。”劝人要及时努力,不要辜负大好时光。“学而不思则罔,思而不学则殆。”强调要学思并重,在学习之馀也要多思考,而思考的方向不应该是一直线的,要多角度的思考,才能在这其中得到更多的智慧和经验。学生就是不懂才要学,应该要效法孔子的精神,遇到自己不会的问题就应不耻下问,孔子本身已经是饱读诗书,满腹经纶了,但他仍虚心求教以更充实自己,这种精神真是值得我们好好学习,也唯有秉持这种信念,才可以使自己学得更多、更长久,“生也有涯,而知也无涯。”也就是要“活到老,学到老。”
如何交朋友,如何对待朋友,对于还是大学生的我来说是一个考验,其实我的心灵并不是那么坚强,遇到困难也会烦恼一番,但是在我烦恼之际,一读起这本书,我便能明白很多,人生需要书籍填满自己,一直学习。
第四篇:感悟《教室里的心灵鸡汤》
感悟《教室里的心灵鸡汤》
这本书给我最大的感觉是通俗易懂,短小精悍的40篇小故事,却蕴含了教学的智慧,让我不禁开始反思自己。
有一篇小故事的名字是《口红的启示》,大致意思是:卡拉是名年轻女学生,正值青春年华,开始似懂非懂地学习当个摩登女郎,不认真上课,中间教师和卡拉发生了种种摩擦,后来知道卡拉没有爸爸,而妈妈要做两份工作。教师对自己没有关心卡拉,没有感受她的需要而深感抱歉,开始反省,教师通常只会质问学生的角色和责任,甚少自我反省。后来通过教师的努力,教学变得开放,师生之间的关系变得很好。
其中让我感受最深的就是教师对于自我反省的过程,以及后来解决问题的智慧。我常常因为学生不认真上课,开小差,而对学生发火,对学生不够耐心。可是我有没有好好了解过那些成绩不好的学生呢?有没有了解过他们的想法?他们有着怎样的生活?怎样的经历?我面对的是活生生的人,他们有自己的思想,有自己的个性特点,不去了解他们怎么能去责怪他们呢?
在传统的教室里,教师就是权威,教师说的就是对的,而学生必须要遵守。总是这样的教学模式,教出来的学生就是一个样子的。我要改变自己的思想方式,教学中要更多地以学生为主,要把课堂变得开放一点。也要改改自己的脾气,不要那么急躁,对学生温和亲切一点。在备课这个环节上,多花点时间。教育是一种不可逆向的过程,每一步每句话,都可能影响学生,我要更加地慎重和严谨,每天都应该反思一下自己的教学方式,多看多问多思多想,反思自我才能有所进步,不然只能固步自封,这是很可怕的。
这本书中还有很多让人思考的小故事,我觉得其中的共同点是,里面的教师都不仅仅是教书匠,没有匠气,只有灵气。当在教学中遇到了困难时,阅读它,也许会使教学智慧得到启发。
第五篇:心灵鸡汤
一个人能否走向成功,看他情绪崩溃后的样子
1、很多读者问我:“怎么样才可以内心强大,才不会被一点小事搞的情绪崩溃?”
我想告诉他们,内心强大的人并不是遇到任何事都心如止水,他们也会有情绪崩溃的时候。只不过他们更能明白,这种情绪崩溃只是摧毁了,过去他们心中某种错误观念(或者说不适应社会的观念),他们会重新建立起更有利于自己的认知系统。
认知系统重建的次数多了,它会变得更加具有弹性和适应性,那人自然不容易情绪崩溃。
比如,最近连续的热点事件也让我气的手抖,在详查了一些资料后,发现冰冻三尺非一日之寒,远不是一点舆论影响能改变的。
这让我感到情绪崩溃,但我不会放任自己颓废,我会强化自己决心,明白自己究竟该做点什么。
其实情绪崩溃这个词并不恰当,如果情绪崩溃了,那情绪本身应该不存在了。实际上,我们指的情绪崩溃是指由于刺激过度,情绪出现激烈的反应,超出了个人心理承受能力,导致的行为失控。
但成熟的人会在这个过程中明白,是什么东西在拖垮你、阻碍你,他会把这些东西丢掉,他会往自己的内心中填入一些新的东西。
所谓“熬不过去的日子就让自己忙碌,想念的时候不妨看看清晨的日出”就是这个道理。
2、半年前,我的好友熊博士因为情绪失控,最后进了拘留所。
熊博士是我的好友,刚毕业就在高校任教,他一年能拿十几项专利,还有发明专利,是个不可多得的人才。
有一天他和我说,自己还在某高校读研的女友小婷,对自己冷淡已经半年多了,很多时候消息直接就不回,他好不容易终于恳请小婷见他一面,相约在小婷就读的高校咖啡厅里。
他觉得我是人际恋爱方面的高手,希望我能陪他一起去见小婷,看看他两关系到底出了什么问题。
经不起他的软磨硬泡,我决定陪他去下。我要他把小婷朋友圈发来我看看,我非常奇怪的就是,小婷近半年的朋友圈里没有任何有关他俩的互动。直到他把聊天记录发来,我才相信他们真的是恋人关系,但一个月都见不了一次,对于同城恋来说,似乎不太正常。
到了小婷和他见面那天,小婷刚在咖啡厅坐下,熊博士还没介绍我呢,小婷就提出分手!
熊博士非常伤心的问原因,小婷面无表情地说,我妈不喜欢你,嫌你老。
正当熊博士声泪俱下地挽留时,我看到小婷没有任何回心转意的迹象,倒是她眼光不断扫向隔壁桌的两个男生。
“不跟你废话了,我妈已经安排我去相亲了,虽然我不知道那次见面是相亲,但她老人家挺满意的,我要回宿舍了,慢走不送!”说罢,小婷离开了咖啡厅,两个男生跟了出去。
熊博士冲了出去,情绪激动地拉住小婷的手不让她走。
“放开,你不准碰我,你个死流氓,我不认识你!”
小婷发疯似得在高校校园里尖叫,路人目光立即盯向我们这里,两个男生掏出手机,似乎在打电话叫人,我觉得情况不妙,赶紧对熊博士说。
“熊博,这是圈套,我们快走,别把命搁在这!”
熊博还是不依不饶,这时有围观的男学生已经打算介入冲突,我知道在这种情形下,大家只会把熊博当流氓,我赶忙对围观者说:情侣吵架呢,我们马上走!
熊博此刻意识到失态,冷静了下来,我拉着他准备离开。
走的时候,我突然听到小婷和某男生的对话。
“你之前和我说的就这傻叉?.......”
“我就没和他好过,是他一天纠缠我,我烦都烦死了!”
也许是听到小婷说他俩从来没好过,熊博突然情绪失控,我还没来得及反应,他就转过身一脚揣在小婷背后,小婷顿时往前跪倒在地。
这时,旁边的围观群众立即上来拉住熊博,他激动地说:“你利用我,原来你早就劈腿了,你还去相亲,还说不认识我!”
没过多久,熊博被送到学校保卫处,小婷还报了警,警察一会就来了。
警察说,如果小婷愿意和熊博调解,那么可以从轻处罚,不然要以寻衅滋事罪对熊博处五日以上十日以下拘留。小婷态度很强硬,不承认是情侣关系,一口咬定熊博骚扰她。
我希望小婷能放过熊博一马,我们愿意赔点钱,小婷说:可以啊,拿一百万来。
之后熊博被送去了拘留所。五天后,熊博又给我发了消息,他问的问题是:
经历了这件事,他如何才可以挽回小婷?!!!!!
我看见这消息,我恨不得一头撞死在墙上。那时,我实在不知道,这张不算漂亮的脸蛋到底怎么把熊博迷得神魂颠倒。
我告诉他:分手不是一道疤,而是一堂课。天空不总是晴朗,我能接受你会有偶尔情绪崩溃的时候,但我一定不能容忍你,在付出了这么大代价后,灰尘依旧蒙蔽着你的双眼。
熊博出事后,他们单位有个女老师打过电话给我,问我当日的情况。她不仅在这段时间帮忙安抚熊博父母,还在学校到处说情,希望学校不要再次处罚熊博。
熊博,难道这次情绪崩溃,除了让你变成一个“痴情”的男人。不能让你明白,什么样的女生才真正值得你珍惜吗?
3、情绪崩溃会让人做出一些后悔莫及的事,还会陷入很长时间的痛苦,而不能自拔。
但情绪崩溃有时是一件好事,它能帮助你把内心中,有些难以割舍的毒瘤给挖了,然后填进去新的东西。情绪崩溃期,我们在苦熬中,能够渐渐免疫伤痛,这便是人最伟大的一点,适应性。
Levine 和 Edelstein曾经用目标相关性取向(goal-relevance approach)来解释情绪诱发的记忆窄化现象。
所谓记忆窄化就是,当情绪激荡时,人的大脑会主动“抛弃”一些记忆,而强化部分记忆,继而形成一些以前没有的条件反射。
例如,遭遇过抢劫的妇女,可能会记不得凶手的面目和其他一些细节,但会特别记得凶手的刀。以致于她在日后生活中看见刀,都会自动出现逃避反应。
而记忆窄化,有时候是有好处的。
情绪高度激活时,鉴于注意和工作记忆容量有限,大脑会出现出进化适应性,它会优先加工那些推动目标或阻碍目标的情绪事件。
在一个给定情境下,与人的目标最相关的信息更可能被注意并记住,而与目标较不相关的信息则更可能被忽略或很快忘掉。
比如,熊博这件事也给了我一些深远的影响,那就是:我今后无论自己多占理,都不能动手打人。
这不是因为我道德高尚,而是我意识到一旦动手,你百口莫辩,事后损失惨重。
那天的事有很多我记不太清楚,但我记得熊博背后铐着手铐,背对着墙,都没办法和我说句话。如果是学者,这简直是奇耻大辱。
我还记得小婷说一百万时,我大脑中搜遍了凑钱的所有途径,我想卖公众号卖版权卖身,但我发现短时间内凑不齐。就算我能凑齐,我也实在是不想给这个人。
哪怕我就写了下这个故事,公众号里一群女性读者大骂熊博是渣男,小婷做的对,我三观不正。
动手打人时,需要一些观念支撑,比如自己是正义的,旁观人是支持的,自己是迫不得已等等。
而熊博事件给了我一种情绪条件反射。每当有打人冲动时,一种强烈的屈辱感会帮我把其他声音给压制下去:别打人,大众可不管谁先劈腿。
Mather 和 Sutherland(2011)认为,人在情绪崩溃期间或者刚刚结束,能体验到某种东西被“唤醒”,这种唤醒会让你的记忆巩固有所偏向,某些帮助你活下去的记忆,此刻会被强化,在以往你往往忽略了它。
例如,我们电影里的主角,经常是敏感、脆弱还矫情,他们动不动就因为一点小事就撂挑子不干了。然而,大反派都是些意志坚定,目标明确,情绪稳定的个体。
电影总是要安排反派在主角被逼入绝境时要屁话一番,或者要安排个什么重要的人牺牲,目的就是为了逼主角情绪崩溃。
可到了崩溃的时候,主角某些东西会被“唤醒”,那些“矫情”“脆弱”的东西突然不见了,记忆窄化让主角突然有了力量,一阵爆发把反派打倒。
雷神3里就有这样的经典场景,当索尔被海拉打的满地找牙时,他不知道怎么就想起奥丁对他说“其实你比我强”,莫名其妙就全身放电了。
所以情绪崩溃不完全是坏事,大脑实际在强迫你,必须换一种方式来认知你当前的处境。
Kruglanski等人研究发现,人在情绪崩溃时,如果不急于逃离情绪痛苦,也不要急于找理由为自己开脱。
相反他不断思考事件的挑战性和威胁性,大脑便会出现一种自上而下的优先性,随后记住这些事件中的高优先性信息,这些信息能得到大脑较多的神经资源扶持,还会形成一种优化的策略来应对未来的相似情景。
心理学家认为这种优胜劣汰的效应具有进化适应性,所谓痛苦让人成长,也许就是这么个道理。
4、一个人是否能够成功,就看他情绪崩溃后,他选择悲伤,还是选择思考。
他是迫不及待地躲进“痴情”等虚假字眼中,让自己好受一些。还是直面自己的痛苦,问自己:到底是什么东西伤害了我?
他是急于宣泄这种痛苦的情绪,好让自己轻装上阵,还是懂得利用这种痛苦的情绪,把一些平日里很难割舍的东西扔掉。
他是急于找同学诉说自己的不幸,博得别人的同情?还是重新对自己的记忆进行编码,让一些东西不再引发你的反应,同时让自己更在乎一些过去不经意的东西。
当我在情绪崩溃的边缘时,回荡在我大脑里的,不是渴求你的怜悯和同情。
我在大脑里不断回放,回放你的绝情,接着又想了一遍又一遍与你的不可能。
这样的思考,帮助我从今往后,再也不会遇到你这样的人。
所以,这个残酷的世界啊,我不怕你把我逼的情绪崩溃。只要我的生命还在,要不了多久,就会有一个更强大的我站在你的面前。
凤凰涅槃,这便是这个酷的光芒万丈的自己,最后也最宝贵的力量吧!