第一篇:PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much.She works hard at it.She reads English every morning.She likes speaking English.She often listens to the radio.She watches TV only on Saturday evening.Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.But she likes drawing and singing.Her parents love her.And all the teachers and her friends like her, too.She says her hobbies make her happy.Don’t be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday.I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning.I must cross two busy roads.If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the road ,so I wait.If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road.I always ride on the right side of the road.I am never against the traffic rules.I Love My Family Here is a photo lf my family.These are four people in my family.They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.My father is a doctor.He works in a hospital far away.He goes to work by subway.My mother is a teacher.She works in a school near my home.She goes to work by bike.After work, they like reading books.Who is the tall boy? He is my brother.He is five years older than me.He is a singer.He’s now in Beijing.He goes there by plane.I love my family.How to get to the science museum We are going to the science museum tomorrow.There is an old thing show in the Museum.Do you know how we can get to the science museum? The science museum is next to the People’s Park.It’s isn’t far from our school.So we can go there on foot.Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights.You can find the People’s Park on the right.Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.Planting Trees It’s spring.It’s time to plant trees.I want to plant a tree in our garden.Dad and Mum are very happy.They like green.Dad helps me plant the tree.First, we dig the soil.Then I put a little tree into the soil.Next I water it.I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow.Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves.I water it every day.Now it has lots of leaves.It grows fast.We should plant more trees.They make our world beautiful.Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow.I’m going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning.We are going to look for some good books.We all like reading books.We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant.I like chicken, beef and vegetables.After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus.We are going to play near the Kunming Lake.Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake.Wow, that will be relaxing.We are coming back at 5pm.
第二篇:PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文及点评汇总
PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文及点评
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much.She works hard at it.She reads English every morning.She likes speaking English.She often listens to the radio.She watches TV only on Saturday evening.Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.But she likes drawing and singing.Her parents love her.And all the teachers and her friends like her, too.She says her hobbies make her happy.【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章,小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习,他没有具体写到刘莹的某一种爱好,而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手,对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画.从“爱好”这个角度来看刘莹的话,我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种“叙事写人”作文时,可以从两个角度下手:一是具体地描绘;二是和上面小朋友一样,粗线条地勾画,二者各有所长,另处在行文中使用一些问句,使用一些转述的话,可以使作文更有灵气,避免了平铺直叙的缺点。比如上文的“Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不错的句子,使读者眼前为之一亮。Don’t be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday.I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning.I must cross two busy roads.If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the road ,so I wait.If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road.I always ride on the right side of the road.I am never against the traffic rules.【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”,小作者没有说一些空话,而是从自己的经历写起,叙述自己以什么方式去上学,在上学的路上是怎么做的,很形象。
小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大,那样很容易使文章显得空洞,而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小写、句子的标点符号等。I Love My Family
Here is a photo lf my family.These are four people in my family.They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.My father is a doctor.He works in a hospital far away.He goes to work by subway.My mother is a teacher.She works in a school near my home.She goes to work by bike.After work, they like reading books.Who is the tall boy? He is my brother.He is five years older than me.He is a singer.He’s now in Beijing.He goes there by plane.I love my family.【要领点评】 一个平凡的题材,一篇生动的作文。这样的命题,我们可能面对几次,甚至几十次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧,了了数言,让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上,很值得我们去思考,我们能做到吗?
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外,在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说,将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍,后分说,把家人的工作、上班方式,爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行概括,起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢? How to get to the science museum
We are going to the science museum tomorrow.There is an old thing show in the Museum.Do you know how we can get to the science museum?
The science museum is next to the People’s Park.It’s isn’t far from our school.So we can go there on foot.Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights.You can find the People’s Park on the right.Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“怎样去科学博物馆”。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢?通过你的叙述,能让别人很容易找到博物馆,这应是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢?首先他写了去博物馆的位置,最后浓墨重彩,指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线,这条路线够清晰吧!
小朋友们在写这类作文的时候,总有些无从下手的感觉,不知从何说起。其实介绍路线,无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点,还有就是如何从起点走到终点。要给他人说清楚,你自己首先得清楚,然后再通过自己的叙述,将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。一定要注意行文中一些关键的地方,如在哪儿转弯,向哪儿转,经过哪些重要的交通标志或显眼的标志建筑等。这样,你就能说清,别人也能弄明白。Planting Trees
It’s spring.It’s time to plant trees.I want to plant a tree in our garden.Dad and Mum are very happy.They like green.Dad helps me plant the tree.First, we dig the soil.Then I put a little tree into the soil.Next I water it.I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow.Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves.I water it every day.Now it has lots of leaves.It grows fast.We should plant more trees.They make our world beautiful.【要领点评】
小作者写了一次植树的经历,但他并没有单纯拘泥于植树的过程。既有过程,也有感觉,能使文章打动读者,给人以启发。作文的最后一段就非常好,两句话胜似千言万语。我们可以学习一下这种写法。
既描述过程,又适时提自己的看法或想法的写法,在作文中叫做“夹叙夹议”,描述过程为了提出一种思想服务,提出看法或想法使原本平实的描述有了意义。我们在以后的写作中也可以试一试。Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow.I’m going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning.We are going to look for some good books.We all like reading books.We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant.I like chicken, beef and vegetables.After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus.We are going to play near the Kunming Lake.Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake.Wow, that will be relaxing.We are coming back at 5pm.【要领点评】
怎样才称得上是“美好的一天”?有两点不能忘记,一是安排得充实,二是安排得有意义。这两点小作者无疑都想到了,上午去书店看书买书,中午在饭店吃饭,下午去颐和园玩耍、划船,丰富多彩!文章以时间为线索,叙述清楚,文笔也很优美。
小朋友们在写这种叙事的文章时,要尽量给读者交代好时间、地点、人物和活动等,使文章有血有肉。要看好是写过去发生的事情,还是现在正在做的事情,或计划、打算要做的事情,以选
择适当的句型。如果是写将来的事情,那么就要注意在表述时多用“be going to+动词原形”这种句型。还有一点也很重要,那就是故事的线索要交代好,让读者在阅读时对整个过程一目了然
第三篇:PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much.She works hard at it.She reads English every morning.She likes speaking English.She often listens to the radio.She watches TV only on Saturday evening.Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.But she likes drawing and singing.Her parents love her.And all the teachers and her friends like her, too.She says her hobbies make her happy.【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章,小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习,他没有具体写到刘莹的某一种爱好,而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手,对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画.从“爱好”这个角度来看刘莹的话,我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种“叙事写人”作文时,可以从两个角度下手:一是具体地描绘;二是和上面小朋友一样,粗线条地勾画,二者各有所长,另处在行文中使用一些问句,使用一些转述的话,可以使作文更有灵气,避免了平铺直叙的缺点。比如上文的“Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不错的句子,使读者眼前为之一亮。
Don’t be against(违反)the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday.I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning.I must cross two busy roads.If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the road ,so I wait.If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road.I always ride on the right side of the road.I am never against the traffic rules.【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”,小作者没有说一些空话,而是从自己的经历写起,叙述自己以什么方式去上学,在上学的路上是怎么做的,很形象。
小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大,那样很容易使文章显得空洞,而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小写、句子的标点符号等。
I Love My Family Here is a photo lf my family.These are four people in my family.They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.My father is a doctor.He works in a hospital far away.He goes to work by subway.My mother is a teacher.She works in a school near my home.She goes to work by bike.After work, they like reading books.Who is the tall boy? He is my brother.He is five years older than me.He is a singer.He’s now in Beijing.He goes there by plane.I love my family.【要领点评】
一个平凡的题材,一篇生动的作文。这样的命题,我们可能面对几次,甚至几十次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧,了了数言,让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上,很值得我们去思考,我们能做到吗?
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外,在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说,将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍,后分说,把家人的工作、上班方式,爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行概括,起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢?
How to get to the science museum We are going to the science museum tomorrow.There is an old thing show in the Museum.Do you know how we can get to the science museum? The science museum is next to the People’s Park.It’s isn’t far from our school.So we can go there on foot.Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights.You can find the People’s Park on the right.Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“怎样去科学博物馆”。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢?通过你的叙述,能让别人很容易找到博物馆,这应是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢?首先他写了去博物馆的位置,最后浓墨重彩,指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线,这条路线够清晰吧!
小朋友们在写这类作文的时候,总有些无从下手的感觉,不知从何说起。其实介绍路线,无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点,还有就是如何从起点走到终点。要给他人说清楚,你自己首先得清楚,然后再通过自己的叙述,将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。一定要注意行文中一些关键的地方,如在哪儿转弯,向哪儿转,经过哪些重要的交通标志或显眼的标志建筑等。这样,你就能说清,别人也能弄明白。
Planting Trees It’s spring.It’s time to plant trees.I want to plant a tree in our garden.Dad and Mum are very happy.They like green.Dad helps me plant the tree.First, we dig the soil.Then I put a little tree into the soil.Next I water it.I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow.Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves.I water it every day.Now it has lots of leaves.It grows fast.We should plant more trees.They make our world beautiful.【要领点评】
小作者写了一次植树的经历,但他并没有单纯拘泥于植树的过程。既有过程,也有感觉,能使文章打动读者,给人以启发。作文的最后一段就非常好,两句话胜似千言万语。我们可以学习一下这种写法。
既描述过程,又适时提自己的看法或想法的写法,在作文中叫做“夹叙夹议”,描述过程为了提出一种思想服务,提出看法或想法使原本平实的描述有了意义。我们在以后的写作中也可以试一试。
Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow.I’m going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning.We are going to look for some good books.We all like reading books.We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant.I like chicken, beef and vegetables.After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus.We are going to play near the Kunming Lake.Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake.Wow, that will be relaxing.We are coming back at 5pm.【要领点评】
怎样才称得上是“美好的一天”?有两点不能忘记,一是安排得充实,二是安排得有意义。这两点小作者无疑都想到了,上午去书店看书买书,中午在饭店吃饭,下午去颐和园玩耍、划船,丰富多彩!文章以时间为线索,叙述清楚,文笔也很优美。
小朋友们在写这种叙事的文章时,要尽量给读者交代好时间、地点、人物和活动等,使文章有血有肉。要看好是写过去发生的事情,还是现在正在做的事情,或计划、打算要做的事情,以选择适当的句型。如果是写将来的事情,那么就要注意在表述时多用“be going to+动词原形”这种句型。还有一点也很重要,那就是故事的线索要交代好,让读者在阅读时对整个过程一目了然。
[摘要] “操练”是对话教学中的重要环节之一,我们发现我们很多老师在对话教学设计上往往会偏重于“呈现”这一环节,而忽视“操练”这一环节,本文结合教学实践,论述了目前小学英语对话教学中对话操练存在一些问题,并针对在小学英语对话操练中的问题提出策略。
[关键词]操练 问题 策略
我们小学英语课堂对话教学通常分成三个步骤,即呈现、操练和输出。“操练”是对话教学中的重要环节之一,“操练”是指教师在呈现完新的语言项目后,运用灵活多样的手段组织学生对新授内容进行巩固性的训练,从而在语言形式和意义两方面增强学生的感性认识,使学生获得初步的语言实践能力。操练的效果直接影响学生对对话的掌握程度。反思我们的课堂,我们发现我们很多老师在对话教学设计上往往会偏重于“呈现”这一环节,而“操练”这一环节经常是草草了事,我认为目前小学英语对话操练存在着一些问题:
问题
一、重操练结果、轻操练过程
在实际的对话教学中,我们会发现有些学生对于所学对话是“读读会读,背背会背,但用用不会用”。在具体的应用中,他们的反应有时还会慢上好几拍。这是由于我们在对话操练时片面追求知识目标的实现,认为学生能够把单词和文本读好背好就是唯一目的,而不注重过程和方法,把生动活泼的语言教学变成了费时费力的机械操练。这样的机械操练不但让学生失去了操练的兴趣,而且只能让我们认读对话中的语句,并没有达到真正意义上的操练。
[对策] 新颖灵活的操练方法可以提高学生操练的兴趣,灵活多样的操练方式如同魔法石一般,吸引了学生的眼球,抓住了学生的心,使学生大胆的操练对话,同时能增加学生对话的机会。下面就介绍几种灵活有效的对话操练方法:
1、在歌曲中操练对话。
儿童歌曲和童谣一般都有优美动听的旋律和轻松欢快的节奏,在歌曲中操练对话是一种既能减轻学生的心理负担,又能使学生在轻松愉快的气氛中掌握对话的好方法。因此,在小学英语牛津教材中就整理了不少这样的歌谣。例如我们在三年级的《How are you》的对话教学中,就可以穿插单元后面的歌曲进行对话操练,在节奏和音乐的伴奏下,学生边说或边唱,边做动作,积极的投入到操练中去,能很快掌握所学对话。我们还可以利用一些学生耳熟能详的歌曲,在操练对话时替换新词,随着歌曲的旋律,学生们便能脱口唱出所学对话。
2、在表演中操练对话。
学生是天生的表演“艺术家”。作为教者要为学生创设一定的情境,鼓励学生扮演情境中某一人物,使其兴致勃勃地进入学习境界,在特定的情境中操练和运用所学对话,从而避免句型操练的单一和枯燥。例如对于低中年级的学生,教师可根据课文人物制作头像,让学生扮演文中的人物,练习课文对话。而对于小学高年级的学生则可以让他们充分发挥,表演对话内容。比如表演结识新友或看医生、借东西、问路等,帮助学生理解对话内容,激发他们内在的表达欲望,达到操练对话的目的。
3、在游戏中操练对话。
好动、好玩是孩子们的天性,我们可充分利用这一心理特点,在英语对话操练中,适当运用英语游戏,不仅可以缓和课堂教学的紧张气氛,还有助于消除学生的疲劳。另外,又可以使学生在饶有兴趣的游戏中积极思维,掌握知识,并能使每个学生都参与进来,令课堂气氛热烈,这大大激发了学生学习英语的兴趣。例如在四年级《Whose gloves?》这一课上,我们可以设计一个“猜猜看”的游戏,让四位学生带好自己的衣服,如“ sweater, jacket, jeans, coat”等。让学生根据衣服特征,通过对话猜猜衣服的主人。学生在“玩中练,练中玩”,掌握所学对话。
第四篇:PEP小学英语六年级下册各单元作文范例及点评
PEP小学英语六年级下册各单元作文范例及点评
My friend and I
I’ve got a lovely friend at school.His name is Jack.Jack is 12 years old now.I’m 11.He’s older than me.He’s 150 cm tall.I’m 148 cm.He’s taller and
stronger.He’s 43 kg and I’m 41 kg.He’s heavier.We’ve got round faces and
short hair.But my eyes are bigger and my legs are longer.Our favourite colours are white and blue.We like summer best.We both like sports, too.On Saturdays, we play table tennis.On Sundays, we play basketball.He’s good at basketball.But I do better at table tennis.We laugh and play together.How happy we are!
【要领点评】
写法:这篇作文的题目是“我的朋友和我”。既然写作范围是两个人物,就要笔墨均匀,两者缺一不可。不能只描写朋友,也不能只叙述我。这无形中增加了写作的难度。解决这个难点的关键是:找出两个人几方面的异同。可以通过常见的年龄、身高、体重、外貌、喜好等方面列举出每个人的具体实际情况,再进行比较,通过比较突出每个人物的特点。这样就把人物活灵活现的展现给读者了。
时态:像此类题目的作文,运用一般现在时即可。
句型:因为涉及两个人的比较,不要忘记使用比较级句型:A+be+比较级+than+B。
注意:在列举两个人的“体貌、喜好”等方面情况时,应一边列举,一边比较。不要一味指出不同,还要列举相同之处。两人能成为朋友,一定有共同语言和喜好,共性不容忽视。在表达喜好时,不同的句型应交叉运用,避免枯燥的重复。例“Our favourite colours are…”,“We like …best”,“We both like…,too”,为突出不同时间做不同运动,用“On Saturdays…”,“On Sundays…”,形成鲜明对比。常使用并列连词and 和转折连词 but,使文章读起来更流畅。结尾以How happy we are!突出了两人从友谊中得到的快乐!
A Bad Cold
I’m not feeling well today.I think I have a bad cold.I have a headache.I have a fever.My nose hurts.My throat is sore.I have to take some medicine and stay in bed.My parents will take me to the hospital.What a bad cold!
I hope I can be better soon.And I want to go to school
【要领点评】
写法:这篇习作是按照时间顺序记叙了得病、病的症状、服药及治疗的全过程。写出了小作者希望快点康复,好去上学的愿望。
时态:这篇文章可以采用一般现在时来写。如果主语是第三人称单数,动词别忘加s。句型:要用feel 加形容词,和表示“患某种疾病“的用法have+表示的疾病的单词。
注意:在表示疾病时,可以使用-ache,hurt 和sore。不要只用一个单词,以避免枯燥。要写出得病后的简单治疗及心情,不能只写得病的情况。常见病句:My nose is hurt。因为be后面要加形容词,而hurt是动词,因此应使用sore;东西放在床上要用on the bed。生病,是卧床不起,应该说stay in bed。
表示吃药时,通过用take some medicine,不用eat。
词汇量要控制在40~60之间。
Zoom’s Weekend
Zoom had a busy weekend.On Saturday morning, he washed his clothes and went to a park.He did his homework and went fishing on Saturday afternoon.On Sunday morning, he cleaned his room and visited his grandparents.He played football and watch TV on Sunday afternoon.Zoom was too tired.【要领点评】
写法:这篇习作是按时间顺序记叙了Zoom的周末活动。
时态:这篇文章可以用三种时态来写,由于本单元主要讲的是一般过去时态,所以我们采用一般过去时态比较合适。
句型:主语+动词过去式+过去时间。
注意:活动的相关表达法采用新旧知识结合的方法,但要注意动词过去式的拼写。
Tom’s Holiday
Tom went to Beijing by plane on his holiday.Every day he had fun with his parents.They went to the Nature Park.They saw elephants.They went
swimming.They ate lots of delicious food.They also took many beautiful
pictures.They will come back home tomorrow.In a word, they enjoy their holiday.【要领点评】
写法:这篇习作是按照地点的顺序记叙假期里的活动,记叙了假期里去北京做了哪些活动以及对活动的感受。
时态:这篇文章可采用两种时态来写。由于本单元主要讲述的是一般过去时的用法,所以这里大部分我们采用一般过去时比较合适。
句型:主语+动词过去式+其他……
主语+will+动词原形+其他……
注意:活动的相关表达法可采用旧知识和新知识相结合去写,但要注意动词过去式的变化规则。例:eat 的过去式为ate,为不规则变化。
A Post Card from John
Dear Sarah,This post card shows you a picture from my holiday.We got Kunming on
Wednesday.On the first day we visited Stone Forest.It’s very beautiful.I love it very much.On Thursday Kathy and I got lost in the city.We asked a policeman for help.He helped us find the hotel.On Friday we went to a small village.We saw folk dances and ate some fresh vegetables from the farm.We enjoyed ourselves.Last day we went shopping ane bought some presents for friends.Tomorrow we will be back home.John
【要领点评】
写法:这是一封明信片,按照时间顺序记叙了约翰假期去昆明度假这几天的活动。分别记叙了游览石林,迷路,看民族舞,购物,买礼物等活动。
时态:这篇文章由于是记叙已经发过的事,所以大部分可以采用一般过去时来写。句型:主语+动词过去式+其他。
注意:描述已经发生过的事要用一般过去时,在写这篇文章的时候要注意动词的过去式的变化,尤其是动词过去式的不规则变化。没发生过的事要用一般将来时。
A Farewell Party
It’s the end of the school year.The students in Class Three have a farewell
party.They invite their parents to the party.Many students have performance at the party.Look!Chen Jie is singing songs.Zhang Peng is playing the piano.Sarah is
playing the erhu.Mike is doing Chinese Kung fu.What is Miss White doing? She is dancing.Everybody has a lot of fun.But Liu Yun isn’t here.She has a cold.She is at home.The classmates are going to visit her after party.They prepare many gifts fot her.And they will take a picture together.【要领点评】
写法:这篇习作记叙了一个告别晚会。记叙了学年末的告别晚会上大家都表演了什么节目,以及晚会后大家要去看望刘芸的故事。
时态:这篇习作可采用三种时态来写。由于本单元主要出现的时态是一般将来时和现在进行时,所以这里我们才用一般现在时,现在进行时和一般将来时来写。
句型:一般现在时:主语+动词原形+其他。
现在进行时:主语+现在分词+其他。
一般将来时:主语+ be going to / will +动词原形+其他。
注意:由于本篇文章中所涉及的时态比较多,所以要注意一下时态的变化。学生们都在表演什么节目可以用现在进行时,将要去做什么,要用将来时。另外还要注意,一般现在时在肯定句中,主语是第三人称单数,谓语动词也要用第三人称单数。
第五篇:PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评 2
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PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评 Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much.She works hard at it.She reads English every morning.She likes speaking English.She often listens to the radio.She watches TV only on Saturday evening.Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.But she likes drawing and singing.Her parents love her.And all the teachers and her friends like her, too.She says her hobbies make her happy.【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章,小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习,他没有具体写到刘莹的某一种爱好,而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手,对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画.从“爱好”这个角度来看刘莹的话,我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种“叙事写人”作文时,可以从两个角度下手:一是具体地描绘;二是和上面小朋友一样,粗线条地勾画,二者各有所长,另处在行文中使用一些问句,使用一些转述的话,可以使作文更有灵气,避免了平铺直叙的缺点。比如上文的“Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不错的句子,使读者眼前为之一亮。
Don’t be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday.I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning.I must cross two busy roads.If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the road ,so I wait.If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road.I always ride on the right side of the road.I am never against the traffic rules.21世纪教育网--中国最大型、最专业的中小学教育资源门户网站。版权所有@21世纪教育网
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【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”,小作者没有说一些空话,而是从自己的经历写起,叙述自己以什么方式去上学,在上学的路上是怎么做的,很形象。
小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大,那样很容易使文章显得空洞,而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小写、句子的标点符号等。
I Love My Family Here is a photo lf my family.These are four people in my family.They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.My father is a doctor.He works in a hospital far away.He goes to work by subway.My mother is a teacher.She works in a school near my home.She goes to work by bike.After work, they like reading books.Who is the tall boy? He is my brother.He is five years older than me.He is a singer.He’s now in Beijing.He goes there by plane.I love my family.【要领点评】
一个平凡的题材,一篇生动的作文。这样的命题,我们可能面对几次,甚至几十次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧,了了数言,让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上,很值得我们去思考,我们能做到吗?
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外,在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说,将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍,后分说,把家人的工作、上班方式,爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行概括,起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢?
How to get to the science museum 21世纪教育网--中国最大型、最专业的中小学教育资源门户网站。版权所有@21世纪教育网
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We are going to the science museum tomorrow.There is an old thing show in the Museum.Do you know how we can get to the science museum? The science museum is next to the People’s Park.It’s isn’t far from our school.So we can go there on foot.Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights.You can find the People’s Park on the right.Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“怎样去科学博物馆”。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢?通过你的叙述,能让别人很容易找到博物馆,这应是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢?首先他写了去博物馆的位置,最后浓墨重彩,指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线,这条路线够清晰吧!
小朋友们在写这类作文的时候,总有些无从下手的感觉,不知从何说起。其实介绍路线,无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点,还有就是如何从起点走到终点。要给他人说清楚,你自己首先得清楚,然后再通过自己的叙述,将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。一定要注意行文中一些关键的地方,如在哪儿转弯,向哪儿转,经过哪些重要的交通标志或显眼的标志建筑等。这样,你就能说清,别人也能弄明白。
Planting Trees It’s spring.It’s time to plant trees.I want to plant a tree in our garden.Dad and Mum are very happy.They like green.Dad helps me plant the tree.First, we dig the soil.Then I put a little tree into the soil.Next I water it.I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow.Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves.I water it every day.Now it has lots of leaves.It grows fast.We should plant more trees.They make our world beautiful.21世纪教育网--中国最大型、最专业的中小学教育资源门户网站。版权所有@21世纪教育网
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【要领点评】
小作者写了一次植树的经历,但他并没有单纯拘泥于植树的过程。既有过程,也有感觉,能使文章打动读者,给人以启发。作文的最后一段就非常好,两句话胜似千言万语。我们可以学习一下这种写法。
既描述过程,又适时提自己的看法或想法的写法,在作文中叫做“夹叙夹议”,描述过程为了提出一种思想服务,提出看法或想法使原本平实的描述有了意义。我们在以后的写作中也可以试一试。
Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow.I’m going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning.We are going to look for some good books.We all like reading books.We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant.I like chicken, beef and vegetables.After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus.We are going to play near the Kunming Lake.Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake.Wow, that will be relaxing.We are coming back at 5pm.【要领点评】
怎样才称得上是“美好的一天”?有两点不能忘记,一是安排得充实,二是安排得有意义。这两点小作者无疑都想到了,上午去书店看书买书,中午在饭店吃饭,下午去颐和园玩耍、划船,丰富多彩!文章以时间为线索,叙述清楚,文笔也很优美。
小朋友们在写这种叙事的文章时,要尽量给读者交代好时间、地点、人物和活动等,使文章有血有肉。要看好是写过去发生的事情,还是现在正在做的事情,或计划、打算要做的事情,以选择适当的句型。如果是写将来的事情,那么就要注意在表述时多用“be going to+动词原形”这种句型。还有一点也很重要,那就是故事的线索要交代好,让读者在阅读时对整个过程一目了然。
21世纪教育网--中国最大型、最专业的中小学教育资源门户网站。版权所有@21世纪教育网
本资料来自于资源最齐全的21世纪教育网www.xiexiebang.com
21世纪教育网--中国最大型、最专业的中小学教育资源门户网站。版权所有@21世纪教育网