六人英语剧本,一个歌手的一生

第一篇：六人英语剧本,一个歌手的一生

六人英语剧本，一个歌手的一生

Cast Raymond:

Raymond Kemp:

Raymond’s father Michelle:

a passerby Grace:

a composer Peggy:

piano teacher Heather:

a composer

Summary This play is about a singer’s life.When Raymond was a child, his father found him having a great gift for music.So, he began to learn some musical instruments.He joined lots of contests and also became a music writer.Besides, he liked singing very much.He wanted to have an album of his own.Could his dream come true? Let’s take a look.SCENE I(Raymond’s home)

R’s F:

Welcome to my house.It’s a little messy.Make yourself at home.PT:

That’s OK.We haven’t seen each other for a long time since we graduated from college.You haven’t changed much.Is someone playing piano in your house? R’s F:

Yeah it’s my son.Hey, Raymond.Can you stop making noise? You have been playing the piano all day long.PT:

He’s playing the piano very well.R’s F:

Thank you.The piano is his birthday gift from his mother when he was 12 years old.He has played the piano every day since then.PT:

I think that he has potential playing the piano.I’m a music professor at Tunghai University.If it’s OK with you, I want to teach him how to play.R’s F:

Great!Thank you.I think that his mother would agree, too.SCENE II(Raymond was in his music class one afternoon.)R:

I’ve already made a mistake at this part many times.I don’t think I can play the piano well.PT:

Why do you think so? I think you have great talent.You can try to take part in some music contests.You might win.R:

Are you sure? Do you really think I can join contests? PT:

Sure!I believe that you’ll become a wonderful pianist in the future.But you must first study with me step by step.Do not give up.R:

I know.Since my mother passed away, no one has taught me how to play the piano.Thank you so much!PT:

As long as you practice hard, I’ll be happy.By the way, I’m going to move to the States next month.I’m very sorry I can’t teach you anymore.R:

What? You mean…You can’t continue teaching me to play the piano? PT:

Yes.I’m so sorry.I’ve got some serious illness so I have to receive some medical treatment in America.R:

I’m very sad to hear that.Hope that you can recover as soon as possible.PT:

Whether I continue teaching you or not, you should hold on to your dream: to become a famous musician.R:

I’ll always remember what you said.SCENE III(Seven years later, Raymond created his own songs and joined many contests.But no one liked to listen to his songs.For the past 7 years, he often suffered from unpopularity.However, Raymond still wrote some new songs and sent them to a record company.)Raymond: Sir, these are my songs.Please listen to them.C1:

(To composer 2)I think his songs are pretty good, but….C2:

But the style is not very favorable in the market, right? C1:

Well, how about changing his style? C2:

That sounds great.We can make some small changes in his songs, and let the music company try to produce a new album for him.C1:

So…tell him to come over and discuss the details.C2:

(To Raymond)We think your songs have potential.You can make some changes in them.And then, we can help you to publish them.You might become a super star.R:

Thank you!But I don’t want any changes in my songs.So I think we can’t work together this time.Sorry!C1:

Hmm… OK!Suit yourself!SCENE IV(Raymond left the company and walked on the street.He thought if should change his style in the music and publish his songs.But he had no ideas.And then, he began to sing songs on the street.)R:

(singing)(A passerby looked at him.)P:

You really have a good voice.I think you can think about signing a contract with us.R:

Really? Do you really think I have a good voice? But, why don’t you think my style is strange? Why don’t you suggest I change it? P:

No!No!No!I like your style.I think you’re the right person for us.Let’s work together and our company will publish a new album for you!My name is Michelle.I’ll call you soon.R:

This is my phone number.P:

OK.Bye-bye.SCENE V(One day, Raymond got a call from a foreign company.)Stranger:

Is this Raymond? Raymond:

Speaking.Stranger:

This is a singing company.We appreciate your creation very much.We want to buy your copyright.We hope you can think about it seriously.If you want, you can come to America.We’ll pay for the plane ticket.Raymond:

OK, when? Stranger:

Next week.(After that, Raymond published his first album and everyone liked his songs very much.He became a super star in America.)SCENE VI Stranger:

Congratulations!This concert is very successful.Our boss wants to see you.Raymond:

Who is he? I don’t know him.Stranger:

Don’t ask so much.You’ll know when you see him.(The stranger brings him to a large c ompany.)Raymond:

Where is this? Stranger:

It’s the boss’s office.Please wait,(A pretty lady came into the room.)Raymond:

Excuse me.Where’s your boss? I’m waiting for him.Michelle:

I’m the boss.Don’t you remember me?

Raymond:

Oh, it’s you!So you’re my boss.Oh, my!I can’t believe this.It’s fate.Michelle:

It’s my mother’s last wish.She hoped you could be popular in America.She said you were the best student she had ever taught.Raymond:

She was my best teacher, too

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第二篇：六人英语搞笑剧本 孔雀东南飞

六人英语搞笑剧本 孔雀东南飞

Wander severy five miles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny’s mother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)

(Johnny（焦仲卿）作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)Johnny（焦仲卿）:Everybody says that I’m henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wifeis Wu Song.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!(内砸出一脸盆, Johnny（焦仲卿）接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中Johnny（焦仲卿）)My God!Who can help me?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,作窃听状)焦母（JM）(拄拐棍上):I can!(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? 刘兰芝Lunch(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum? 焦母（JM）:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.刘兰芝 Lunch :OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up? 焦母（JM）:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,sobrusque,so lazy…… 刘兰芝 Lunch :But……

焦母（JM）:Never interrupt me!刘兰芝 Lunch:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised ten soft housands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……

焦母（JM）:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!刘兰芝 Lunch(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Goandask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在焦母（JM）的脸上,下)

Act2(焦母（JM）坐在台上打毛线刘兰芝Luch拿着锅铲上)刘兰芝(Luch):Mum,I’m back!焦母（JM）:You are back?Why?What happened? 刘兰芝(Luch):I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.焦母（JM）(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… 刘兰芝(Luch):But,mum…… 焦母（JM）:Never interrupt me!刘兰芝(Luch):Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.刘母Lunch’smother(大喜):Nice girl!Justnow,I met the mayor’s son in the market.Hesaid:“If your daughter Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下)刘兰芝(Luch):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)What as illy thing I have done!(下)

Act3(焦仲卿Johnny睡眼惺忪上)焦仲卿Johnny(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下)Er!Howsmelly!They are still dirty!(突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.焦母（JM）:Where’s my breakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’t she got up yet? 焦仲卿Johnny:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!焦母（JM）(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wifeisuseless.Lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back!焦仲卿Johnny(立正敬礼):Yes madam!Act4(焦仲卿Johnny开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)AB&C:Give us all your money!焦仲卿Johnny(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1 mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!B:If we can notrobany money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!A&B:Good idea!焦仲卿Johnny(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!焦仲卿Johnny:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’tyou?I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride.B:Have you got any experience? 焦仲卿Johnny:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．太守之子意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，刘兰芝Luch盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(焦仲卿Johnny和三强盗跃至台中)ABC&焦仲卿Johnny:Heyyou!Stop and listen to us!A:The road is built by me!B:And I planted one tree.C:If you want to go by this street---焦仲卿Johnny:Give us all your money!刘兰芝(Luch)听到焦仲卿Johnny的声音，掀起了盖头)刘兰芝(Luch)(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到焦仲卿Johnny的身边并躲到了的身后)(太守之子大怒，挥拳向焦仲卿Johnn打来．焦仲卿Johnny矮身一躲，太守之子打中了焦仲卿Johnny身后的刘兰芝(Luch)，刘兰芝(Luch)晕倒)焦仲卿Johnny(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向太守之子冲去）

(焦仲卿Johnny与太守之子混战，焦母上，以拐杖击晕太守之子)(焦仲卿Johnn将太守之子胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)焦仲卿Johnny(扶起刘兰芝(Luch)，关切地问):Honey,how are you? 刘兰芝(Luch)(哭状):I hurt a lot!焦仲卿Johnny:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)刘兰芝(Luch)(起身去追):Wait for me!(跑下)

第三篇：助人为乐 六人短剧本

六人组 ：一位老人、路人甲、乙，路人1、2、3，一个大包

老人在路上走着，突然脚下一滑，摔倒了。

甲：哎呀，你看那老人摔倒了，快过去看一下。

乙：（拉住甲）等等，（朝四周看了看），我们还是别去了，当做没看见吧。

甲：你怎么这样啊，那是一个老人，摔倒了有生命危险怎么办？

乙：不是我没爱心，你难道没看最近的报道吗？也是有一个这样的老人摔倒了，有过路人上去扶了一把，结果那老人反过来诬赖他，说是他把她推到的，害的过路人有苦不能说，有冤只能吞啊

甲：啊，怎么会这样啊

乙：世风日下，我们还是赶紧走吧（拽着甲走）

路人1：哎，你们俩看了最近的新闻报道没啊？

路人

2、路人3齐声道：什么报道？

路人1：有一个老人摔倒了，有过路人上去扶了一把，结果那老人反过来诬赖他，说是他把她推到的。

路人2：怎么会这样，会不会报道错了，老人就像小孩子一样，是特别善良的。路人3：像这种报道，有的是报社为了提高知名度而夸大了事实。

路人1：你们俩太善良了，这样的人大有存在，等有一天你们碰到了就会明白，反正我不像你们那么想，有些忙在帮之前要三思。

（老人醒来）

老人：有没有好心人可以帮我一下。

（三人正走着，看见了老人）

路人2：我们快走，去扶老人一把。

（路人2,、路人3朝那边走过去，路人1挡住路人

2、路人3）

路人1：不会吧，这是还真让我们碰见了，小心点好，还是别去了，会有其他人去扶她的。路人3：要是每个人都像你这样想，那老人要躺到什么时候啊，万一有生命危险怎么办？ 路人2：对呀，我们过去扶她吧。

（拉着路人3走了，路人1也只好跟着后面走了）

路人2：老奶奶，你伤的严重不，我们送你去医院吧

老人：你们真是好人，我脚扭了，可不可以直接送我回家啊？

路人3：行啊！

路人1：送你回家？如果你儿子说是我们把你撞倒的，哪该怎么办？

老人：不会的，我会解释说是我自己摔倒的，你们好心送我回家，我感激你们还来不及呢，怎么会冤枉你们呢？

（路人2、路人3朝路人1看了看）

路人2：你别太担心了，不是所有的老人都像报道那样，社会上好人终归多于坏人。路人3：是啊是啊，是你多心了，我们别磨磨蹭蹭了，还是快送老奶奶回家吧。

第四篇：六人英语话剧《三打白骨精》剧本

Three Times’ Beating Monster

剧本作者：**（重庆邮电大学）导演：**

演员：**，**，**，**，**，**

人物：唐僧、孙悟空、猪八戒、沙僧、白骨精（村姑 小孩、老太婆、幕后放ppt的场景一：（“路在脚下” 音乐响起）

唐僧:（轻咳）悟空,factually, I am a bit hungry，Could you go to get me some food? 八戒: You see, master is hungry, me too!沙僧：大师兄，二师兄说的对

唐僧: 八戒!Don`t forget who ate my last meal!（脚踹八戒）八戒：(委屈)but I still hungry!沙僧: But master, if a monster comes while 大师兄 is away···唐僧:（点头）Em„„.It is a problem.悟空, do you have any idea? 悟空: No problem!(悟空围三人转了一圈)八戒: This is„..?

悟空: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from 儿歌三百首.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!唐僧: Emm(摸悟空头)„„悟空, you are becoming smarter!额米头发, knowledge is power!悟空: Bye!jindou cloud！

筋斗云：I am jindou cloud!(捶胸，做熊样)I am here!(把孙悟空拖走)唐僧打坐，闭目养神。八戒和沙僧：两只小蜜蜂啊，飞在花丛中啊···

场景二：

村姑：米拉桑，阔你急哇~（日语）

师徒三人：oh，hi（大家站了起来，某些个吹口哨,做勾引手势）村姑:My name is bai~（扭捏害羞样）大家：hello, miss bai.村姑: actually, I am going to send some food to some masters ,they live in the temple, look, around the corner.（欲接近唐僧，被弹回）em···may be you are hungry, welcome to my home to have a dinner, I will make food for you ,(轻声说)delicious!八戒：yeah!you look so delicious!shifu!lets go!唐僧：miss bai, you are so kind ,but we have to wait for 悟空„

沙僧：师傅，二师兄说的对，大师兄will find us, let us go now!村姑：come with me.(大家跟着村姑走着，村姑一个媚眼，八戒倒下，唐僧跨过八戒的身体继续跟着村姑)[沙僧：（扶八戒）are you ok? 八戒：no!I am full in love with the girl!沙僧：yeah！she is an apple in my eyes!（吃了一口苹果）] 唐僧：miss bai!村姑：（转身眨眼）what ? 唐僧：I love you when I see you at the first time!I ···村姑：（轻轻用手堵住唐僧嘴）you jump , I jump!(音乐响起，二人做泰坦尼克号经典动作)村姑：（转过身）shifu, close your eyes!let`s have a kiss!唐僧：wow I love to（闭眼，翘起嘴巴，伸脖子）（村姑奸笑，准备吃了唐僧）

悟空:(回来，看见村姑，火眼金睛看一眼村姑)Oh, monster!(上前就打,两人大战三回合，村姑倒)村姑:（倒)Ah„„(凄惨的音乐放起)唐僧:(气愤)悟空!Look what have done!She is a kind girl!悟空: She is a monster!唐僧: Nonsense!(深呼吸)悟空: Oh, please don’t„„

唐僧:It’s too late!(唱)哦玛丽玛丽买卖home~~~ 悟空: Please, Please, oh, no„„(痛苦抱头)唐僧:(捶胸痛喊)悟空,I’m disappointed with you!

场景三： 小孩：（坐在地上痛哭）（唐僧师徒走过来）

小孩：（拉住八戒的腿）I want my mom.八戒：shifu, we are in trouble!沙僧：let me try.little girl ,who is your mama? 小孩：her name is bai.沙僧：师傅，二师兄说的对。We are in trouble.师傅：little girl, your mom is going to the heaven.小孩：what does it mean? 八戒：yeah, she is dead.沙僧：d-e-a-d, dead!we killed her.小孩：what? why? bring back my mom.I kill you!悟空：stop!(闻小孩三下)you are monster!小孩：you!are the monster!Ugly monster!悟空：（咬牙切齿）I am not ugly!You monster, I`ll beat you into hell!(悟空追打小孩,小孩躲至唐僧身后，悟空打，不想打到唐僧头，唐僧晕，悟空再打死小孩)(凄惨的音乐放起)八戒&沙僧: Are you Ok, shifu?(扶唐僧)沙僧: Look,(伸食指)how many? 唐僧:Two„(晕乎乎地)悟空, game over!场景四：

老太婆：you killed my daughter and my daughter`s daughter!I kill you!唐僧：oh!it is my fault!I am not a good shifu!please kill me!(老太婆掐唐僧，原地转圈)（悟空张开右手，左手指着右手，闭眼大喊：turn，turn，turn，沙僧把金箍棒放到他手中）

八戒：awsome!you turn into your golden cudgel！沙僧：大师兄，是被妖怪抓走了！

悟空：oh, shifu ,I am coming!.....don`t move!悟空: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)唐僧:（想阻止，未及）You, you.....(悟空打到师傅，师傅晕，E,沙僧扶住)（悟空与老太婆大战三回合，老太婆死）唐僧：You have killed three lives!悟空: No, they are not human beings!They are created by monster!唐僧: Monster? You are a real monster!look!you so ugly!Never let me see you, go！(凄惨的音乐放起)八戒: Master, 大师兄 just.......唐僧: shut up!Dont mention that guy any more!八戒：look，the body is gone!May be大师兄is right.沙僧：师傅，二师兄说的对，the women is really a monster!唐僧：oh!悟空,come back!悟空：what？ 唐僧：do you know what is “dang dang dang”? 悟空：what is“dang dang”? 唐僧：dang dang dang ,is（唱)only you „„(only you的音乐放起)八戒、沙僧：（抱悟空大腿）don`t go!don`t leave me alone!(悟空犹豫)唐僧：（继续）o-only you„„

悟空：ok!Please shut up!I am not go!(师傅悟空相拥，跳华尔兹，八戒沙僧哼结婚进行曲)良久，唐僧：let`s move on.白骨精:shifu ,don`t go!I am here!（作贞子样，爬了过来，四人跑！）

第五篇：六人小品剧本

考试疯云（校园小品）

人物：小艾，小伍，小玲，老师

场景：教室

内容：

小玲趴在桌上睡觉。

小艾丢了本书在旁边，出去。

小伍进来，坐在小艾的位置上。

小艾（进来）：唉，哥们儿，真是莫名其妙，是不是在搞笑，难道你没看到，这个座我已经占了！小伍：丁是丁，卯是卯，其实我占的比你早！

小艾：我一大早就来了，咋没看见你呢？

小伍：我昨天晚上占的。

小艾：最后一排是我的专利！为了它，我每天早早地起了床，抢破了头，血直流，这个位置不能丢！

小伍：最后一排是我的骄傲，风水宝地这边独好。要想把我从这赶跑（小艾：——咋地？）劝你趁早拉倒！小玲醒来：吵什么吵什么吵？

一大早就在这么神圣的教室里吵架，浪费大好青春！

知道你们犯了什么错误吗？啊？

小艾：知道。

小伍：我们不吵了。

小玲：你们最不可原谅的是——把我吵醒了！

小艾坐在小玲前面。

小艾：最后一声得，还是发扬风格。哥们，考试照着我点！

小伍：啊？今天考试啊？

小玲：可不？我今天手都麻了！

小艾：吓的噢？

小伍：睡觉睡的吧？

小玲：都不对！打小草累的！

小艾：哎，想我昨晚点灯熬油地折腾了大半夜呀！

小伍：哎呀，发奋学习了？

小玲：你也打小草？

小艾：哪呀，我在想考试的策略！

小伍、小玲凑过去：想到什么?

小艾狂笑：告诉你们，这招绝了！

小伍、小玲：快说啊！

小艾：照书抄——（拿起书）

小玲：去死！

小伍：是个好主意！我咋没想到呢？

小玲：得了吧。你这也叫绝招？

哎，为了缓解一下紧张的气氛，我给你们出道幽默智力题儿。

小艾、小伍不理她。

小玲：说，考试答卷分几步？

小艾、小伍凑过去：几步？

小玲：分三步！

第一步：把名字写上。（两人点头）

第二步：把题目看一遍！（两人点头）

第三步：——把卷纸交上去！

小艾：交白卷哦！

小伍：什么破题啊？

小玲：我再给你们出一道题儿；说，今天考试了，谁没来？

小艾：今天考试谁能不来？小玲？

小玲：我不在呢么！

小艾：看看四周，小伍？

小伍：在呢！

小艾：啊！我知道了——小艾！

小伍：你是白来了！来了跟没来还不一个结果！

小玲：答，老师呗！还没来呢！

老师走进来。

三人吓一跳：来啦？怎么说不来就来了呢？哎呀！（吵闹）

老师：叫什么？癞蛤蟆进来了哦？

三人笑。

老师：严肃点！这考试呢！一点职业道德都没有！这年头最重要的是什么？——分数！分分分，你们的命根！（邪笑）考考考，俺们的法宝！

小艾：抄抄抄，咱们的绝招！

老师：快发卷纸！考试了也不早点来，这都几点了！考试都开始了半小时才来！干什么去了啊？

发卷。

老师：考试时间共两小时！不超过一小时不许交卷！想答卷的同学请拿起笔，不想答卷的同学请原地休息。想上厕所的同学——请约束好自己！

小艾：我把老师好有一比，他是耗子找猫当三陪——要求无理！

小玲：就是！难道他是传说中的说唱歌手，要不嘴里怎么就叨咕叨咕的没完？

老师：肃静！你们要比树还静！知不知道你们犯了多么严重的错误？比盐海重！

三人开抄。

老师：（指小艾）这位同学请不要抄了！

小伍、小玲：我没抄啊！

老师走到了小艾面前：同学，别抄了！

小艾：你怎么知道？我放在桌子里抄的！

老师：你桌子前面的板掉了，我都看见了！

小艾：（看了看）哎呀！真倒霉！

老师没收小艾的卷纸，小艾刚想站起来走。

老师：坐下！不到一小时不许出去！

老师走到小伍旁边，小伍把卷纸拿到桌里去抄。

老师：行了行了，别装了！

最看不起你们这些拿书作弊的，一点技术含量都没有。

你刚才怎么抄来的？这样？这样？

小伍：再低点再低点！

老师：（没收了小伍的卷纸）你也坐着反省一下，为什么拿书作弊？

小伍：也不想拿书啊！谁让我没像她（小玲）一样打好小草的！

小玲瞪大眼睛看着小伍。

老师：这就对了，下回记得打小草！我就喜欢这种用功的孩子。

老师：到点了！交卷。

收好卷纸。

老师：好。记得下午来考高数！（下）

小艾：啊！下午还考高数？

小玲：啊！下午考高数！（拿起小草）刚才考了什么？

小伍：高……数？！那是什么树？

三人：研究下怎么打小草吧！

老师走进来（老师均由一人换装扮演即可）。

小艾：语文老师！

老师：小艾，你怎么写作文的！（卷纸给小艾）

小艾：怎么了？

老师：你读读。

小艾：《我的老师》，我的老师长了一张瓜子脸……

老师：等下，（拿出一大牌子，上写爪）你这是瓜子脸的瓜吗？你写来的是我的老师长了一张爪子脸！小艾：老师，爪子脸也是脸，就不能凑合看吗？

老师：你接着读。

小艾：我的老师长的真漂亮，真漂亮，真漂亮呀真漂亮，真漂亮呀真漂亮……

老师：停！你写那么多真漂亮干吗？就这么一直写到了结尾！

小艾：老师，作文不是要求不能少于500字吗？

老师：那你就只写真漂亮？

小艾：不是要求写出真情实感吗？这就是我的全部感情啊！

老师：哼哼，告诉你，你才496字！

小艾：哦！那再补一句：真漂亮啊！

老师：你看看你的古文翻译，触槐而死你怎么译的？

小艾：找棵老槐树上吊了！

老师：为什么是老槐树？你看你解释词语，解释逝世，你竟然写去死！

小艾：噢，我本想写死去的！

老师：（一脸无奈）你，你又挂了！

小艾：再给我一次机会吧！我都重修五次了！

老师：好吧，我就给你个机会。听说过疱丁解牛，游刃有余吧？你用游刃有余造个句子，对了我就给你过！小艾：游——刃——有——鱼？！鱼……鱼，鱼在水里游，游刃有鱼……

老师：（笑了）恭喜你，获得了——

小艾：过了？

老师：（冷漠）第六次重修的机会。（下）

小玲、小伍：算了，快来研究高数小草吧。

老师进来。

小伍：哲学老师！

老师：小伍！

小伍：有！

老师：看看你的卷纸！

我的问题是：这就是问题，请作答。

你怎么答的？

小伍：这就是答案，请给分……不对吗？

老师：你这叫问题吗？

老师：你——好，下一道，论述题：什么是勇气，你怎么没答？

小伍：我答了啊！

老师：就写了五个字！

小伍：（读）这就是勇气！没错啊！然后我下面的题都没答就交卷了，我把勇气解释的多好呀！老师：你——你等着挂吧！

小伍：老师！再给我次机会吧！我挂了十五次啦！

老师：那我问你两个问题。就看你的造化了……

小伍：两道——太多了！

老师：好，第一题答对了！第二题你不答我也让你过，你有多少根头发？

小伍：如果我是秃子就好了。

老师：答啊！

小伍：123456789根！

老师：你怎么知道？

小伍：老师，第二题我可以不答！

老师：好！很好！非常好！拿着（递给一张纸）

小伍：这是——

老师：重修单！（下）

小玲、小艾：快来研究高数——

老师进来。

小玲：英语老师！（欲跑）

老师：小玲,跑什么呀？没吃早饭呀！

小玲：没吃——

老师：我看见你早上吃饭了呀！

小玲：——明天的早饭！

老师：小玲，看看卷纸，你这阅读理解没一个对的！你是不是根本没读就直接看题目选的？ 小玲：不是！

老师：还敢狡辩！

小玲：我连题目都没看，直接看答案选的！

老师：还有你的作文！怎么看着眼熟？

小玲：能不眼熟吗？阅读理解每段第一句话拼起来的……

老师：小玲，你该觉悟了！你这次——

小玲：啊！老师，我都挂五、十五，不，五十次了！不能再挂了啊！

老师：不是我不给你过……这……比如，你能翻译出evening dress是什么意思吗？（对观众）是晚礼服！

小玲看着小艾、小伍。

小艾：evening是晚上吧，最适合大游戏！

小伍：dress是衣服，MM总吵着买！

小玲：哦！老师，我知道了！是夜行衣！

老师摇摇头。（下）

小玲：不行，我得找老师去！你们俩慢慢研究吧！（下）

小艾：算了，还是好好学习吧