第一篇：搞笑七分钟英语短剧剧本
陈:Hello, everyone, have you ever seen the movie
杨: It’s so easy for me to get this character.(面朝观众说)Nice to meet you, my dear director.杨:我一定能轻而易举地拿到这个角色。(边走边朝观众说)很高兴见到你，亲爱的导演。
陈:Nice to meet you too, so, introduce yourself.陈:很高兴见到你，那么请介绍一下你自己吧。
杨:I'm CK Yang, you know.I don't have too many achievements, I just won six World Music Awards, eight American Music Awards, and…(做沉思状)oh, I forgot, two Oscar Awards, it's just a piece of cake for me, you know, I...杨:我是CK 杨，你知道的，我也没有太多的成就，我仅仅拿了6次世界音乐奖，8次全美音乐奖，对了，差点忘了这个，还有二次奥斯卡奖，这对我来说不过是小意思，你们知道的，我。。
陈:Stop, stop!Time is limited, just begin.陈:停下，快停下，时间有限，快点开始吧。
杨:OK!I'll sing my first song to conquer you--my heart will go on.Just enjoy it.Music(音乐响起).杨:好的，我将演唱我的成名曲来征服你----我心永恒。请欣赏。(音乐响起)
near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
once more, you opened the door
and you're here in my heart，and my heart will go on and on.（唱跑调）
陈:OK, that’s enough, I was wondering how could you get so many awards? 陈:可以了，够了！我真的好奇你唱的这么难听，是怎么拿到这么多奖的
杨:Dear director, you don’t appreciate my style, I’m sure you will regret.(骄傲的离开)
杨:我亲爱的导演，你不懂欣赏我的风格，我保证你会后悔的。(骄傲的离开)
陈:Oh, I'm dying, hope the next one will give me a surprise.Next one!陈:天啊，我要受不了，希望下一个会带给我惊喜。下一个！
杜:To be, or not to be, It's a question!(走到陈面前),I'm glad to see you, my dear princess.杜:生存还是死亡?这是个问题。(走到陈面前)很荣幸见到您，我的公主。
陈(高兴状):oh, it's really a big surprise, so what's your name? 陈(高兴状):天啊，实在是太惊喜了，你叫什么？
杜:My name? Oh, wait a minute.Do you know Trish Regan?(陈摇头:no), it's ok, how about Robin Meade?(陈摇头:no), eh...you must know Beyonce Giselle, right?(陈继续摇头:no)(杜情绪激动)What do you know? You know nothing!How could you sit here? 杜:我的名字？哦~等一下。你知道特里什·里根吗？(陈摇头:不知道)，没关系，那你知道罗宾·米德吗？(陈摇头:不知道)eh…那你一定知道碧昂丝·吉赛尔？(陈摇头:不知道),(杜,情绪激动)，你知道什么？你什么都不知道，有什么资格坐在这里。
陈(气愤状):you, you, how dare you!陈(气愤状):你你你，你怎么敢!
杜:ok, relax, it doesn't matter, you don’t need to learn about them, they’re just my guests, you just need to know me, the most famous talk show host and the greatest poet--Oprah!杜:好的，没关系，你不需要认识这些人，他们都曾是我的嘉宾，你只需要认识我，这世上最著名的脱口秀主持人和最棒的诗人--奥普拉！
陈:I don't care who you are, just show me your talent.陈:我不在乎你是谁，快开始你的表演。
杜:Well, listen to my original poem.Once, I had found my best love, but I didn’t cherish her.Until I lost her, I felt regret.It is the most painful thing in the world.If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to her.That is--‘I love you’!杜:好，下面请大家欣赏我的原创诗。曾经有一份真挚的爱情摆在我面前，但是我没有珍惜，等到失去后才后悔莫及，尘世间最痛苦的事莫过于此，如果老天可以再给我一次机会的话，我会对那个女孩说三个字--“我爱你”。
陈(起鸡皮疙瘩状):oh, I can't stand, leave me alone！
陈(起鸡皮疙瘩状):天啊，我受不了啦，请离我远一点！
杜(转身离开,继续台词):If there is a time limit, I hope, it will be(回头,对陈)10 thousand years.杜(转身离开,继续台词):如果要在这三个字上加一个期限的话，我希望是(回头,对陈)一万年。
陈:Next one!陈:下一个！
程:(男扮女装,风情万种,妖娆妩媚地走进来,给观众一个飞吻):oh, honey, dear, sweet, darling director, the most beautiful, charming, sexy girl is coming, everybody knows me, right? Yeah, I'm Hello Kitty, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,(打个响指，在这里突然一改妩媚的样子开始打b-box).(鞠躬,向观众谢幕)thank you.(面向导演)honey, is it a wonderful performance?
程:(男扮女装，风情万种，妖娆妩媚地走进来,给观众一个飞吻):哦，我的甜心，亲爱的导演，最漂亮，有魅力，性感的女孩登场了，大家都认识我对吧，没错，我就是Kitty猫，睁大你们的双眼，屏住你们的呼吸，我将要带来一场独特而美好的表演，我相信大家都会为我的表演疯狂的，(打个响指，在这里突然一改妩媚的样子开始打b-box).(鞠躬,向观众谢幕),谢谢大家。(面向导演)甜心，我的表演完美吗？
陈:(作目瞪口呆状)…
程:(在陈眼前晃手),oh, darling, are you Ok? 程:(在陈眼前晃手),哦，亲爱的，你没事吧。
陈:eh...my god, I need a beautiful actress, but you are a little...Get out.陈:嗯…上帝啊，我需要一个美丽的女演员，但是你看起来有一点…出去!
程:oh no!Sweet ,you break my heart...(掩面离去)程:哦，不！甜心，你伤了我的心…(掩面离去)
陈:oh, it's really a terrible day!Why it is so difficult to find excellent actors.You three, come here!陈:天啊，今天实在是太糟糕了！为什么找个完美的演员就这么难。你们三个过来吧。
三人跑进来, 程:(妩媚状):Honey, you prefer my performance, right? 三人跑进来, 程:(妩媚状):甜心，你更喜欢我的表演，对吗？
杨:Director, you prefer my singing, right? 杨:导演，你更喜欢我的歌对吗？
杜:Princess, you prefer my poem, right? 杜:公主，你更喜欢我的诗对吗？
三人抢着说:I passed, right?(然后同时定住)三人抢着说:我通过面试了，对吗？(然后同时定住)
陈:God.I want three good actors,(叹气)but there are only three idiots.(电话声响，接电话)What? We will change the movie into
三人同时: Yeah!We make it, we’re superstars!三人同时:耶，我们做到了，我们是超级巨星！
程(甜蜜状):That's very sweet of you, I love you so much!(飞个吻)程(甜蜜状):你真的是太好了，我好爱你!(飞个吻)
陈:You know, you've got the right character.I'm looking forward to your fantastic performance.Are you ready? 陈:你们知道的，你们都有了合适的角色，我希望看到你们精彩的演出。你们准备好了吗？
三人齐答:Yes, we are!三人齐答:我们准备好了！
全部一起:Fighting!Fighting!Fighting!全部一起:加油！加油！加油！
第二篇：英语搞笑短剧剧本
三打白骨精
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒
J：沙僧
B：白骨精（何平）B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头 T: Emitofo, do you know where we are now? S: Bajie, map!E:(摸出，递给S)S: Look, boss(凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T:(缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……
T: Emitofo, nothing is lust, lust is nothing!Map? E:(递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again, I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)? E:(软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food? E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1:(接近三人，望着)Can I join you? J: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady, you are a boss-hand.Come in and teach me!(准备
开电网门)S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……
T:(气愤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T:(呛住，咳)Wukong, I’m disappointed with you!
B:(真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter? T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No, sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S:（咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many? T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！S:(悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》 J: boss, brother Monkey is.......T: Don't mention that guy any more!B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T:（惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B:(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood, ha, ha......S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong? E: Oh, Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened? S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How, how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder, please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
(谢幕)
爱在西元前
第三篇：孔雀东南飞--英语搞笑短剧剧本
焦仲卿johnny(j for short)刘兰芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)刘母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)强盗burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!译：我才不怕你呢！
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom!my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighborhood.she is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.all this i do not care.i only want her to be tenderer than me.but she is not!having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)my god!who can help me?(下)译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？ act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)jm(拄拐棍上):i can!(对门内)lunch!lunch!where are you? l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here!what’s up，mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!l:never interrupt me!since i married your son, that terrible johnny, i have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing.i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
jm: but all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son.i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)act2(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)l: mum, i’m back!
lm: you are back?why? what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l: but, mum…… lm: never interrupt me!l: mum, i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜): nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said, “if your daughter haven’t been married, i really really want to marry her!” now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(惊愕): what? the mayor’s son? the most famous playboy in the neighborhood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(边走边道): lunch!lunch!where are my socks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh, i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上): where’s my breakfast? where’s lunch? hasn’t she got up yet? j: mum, can’t you remember? lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻): well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is useless.lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!j(立正敬礼): yes madam!act4(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)a: hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)b: and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)c: if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)ab&c: give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)a: what bad luck!this guy is broken!b: if we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!c: i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liu lanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding!a&b: good idea!j(惊讶): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!ab&c: why? a pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!j: but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you.you take the money and i take the bride.b: have you got any experience? j: no.but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(j和三强盗跃至台中)abc&j: hey you!stop and listen to us!a: the road is built by me!b: and i planted one tree.c: if you want to go by this street---j: give us all your money!(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)l(惊喜万分): johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)j(火冒三丈): how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you? l(哭状): i hurt a lot!j: don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)
第四篇：英语搞笑短剧剧本-西游记
Beat it!人物：T:唐僧 陈鹏
M:孙悟空 陈中良
P:猪八戒 李涛
S:沙僧 魏涛 X:白骨精原型 李鹏程
X1:白骨精变成的男人
X2:白骨精变成的女人 刘佳佳
Q:女儿国王后 徐静静
T: Wow…,boys,this place looks beautiful.where we are now?Does any one of you young men know what this place is? 众徒弟们摇头，除了八戒在看书。
T: bajie, give me the map(不回头，懒洋洋的问)T:bajie? Give the map to me!（严肃的问）
T：bajie!Give the fucking……..(转过身看到八戒在看书)T:(很吃惊)hey！bajie，you are making youself a new man.what kind of book are you reading? Is it 《jingangjing》 or 《dabeizhou》? 八戒依旧看书，不理睬。
T:(凑过去)let me have a look at it!八戒才注意，赶忙藏书。但为时已晚，T一把抢过。发现是封面女郎很惹火，眼神立刻变得温柔，接过书开始看
T：yao….xi…..(流口水，八戒看到，拿出卫生纸给唐僧擦，唐僧回过神来)T:（转身训斥八戒）how many times I have told you!You are not supposed to read this kind of book!I will keep it for you until the trip is end…..(唐僧将画册掖到衣服里)P:But..um,why boss,why you always said we can never touch girls?I just do not understand…
T:（sigh），how many times I have to tell you ,That is because…(唐僧摆出一个酷酷的动作，一边跳舞，一边开始唱歌，Jackson的dangeous)……… P:I know
T:Monkey,I am hungry.Go and get me some food….Shaseng,you go feed the horse.(声音放低)and I think it is the time for me to call my little honey pony(甜蜜的，一边掏出手机，回头看到八戒在身边)hey！pig, get out of here!give me some private space!唐僧开始给Q打电话
T:hi..how you’re doing(不解释….)Q:I am fine,but I miss you.Since you left,I can not stoping recalling the days we are together..but you do not even give me a call T:oh darling….i am sorry.these boys are so gaush,it is not convenient to phone you.But you know I love you…oh…they are back!Fuck u boys,can you give me a moment of peace…
M:who you are phoning,boss? T:er(支支吾吾的)I was just having a chat with Budda.where is my food? M:here!I found some delicious bananas!T:bananas again?!How many times I have told you!i am a monk, not a monkey!I want meat, meat(加重语气)！don’t you understand? The next time,you still brings me nothing but bananas, I think we can do nothing but eat your buddy pig(眼睛瞄向八戒，流口水)（T拿起手机）
T:I will call you later，honey，I miss you Q:me too,I will be on the phone,bye…
唐僧拿着香蕉，从衣服里掏出画册，做到一边边吃边看，边擦嘴…..白骨精上场
X;Hahahaaa…I heard that any monster eating master tang will get a infinite life.how lucky am I,they are in my area.Wow,I get to come up with a plan.Ehn…..get it!i can pretend to be a poor man,so they will trust me.haha……change change…… 转了几圈，变成了一个男人。X1:I look great!蹒跚的走过去
X1:hello,master..i have not have food for days….can you give me some? T(瞄一眼，继续吃、看)what? i myself is starving now.out of here, you bastard!Pig,beat him,get him out of here.M正好回来 将它打死.T：er…..悟空，I told you to get him out of here,not beat him to death…..Next time don’t do this kind of thing(摇头但继续吃，看书)M: whatever, all right(懒得解释)（悟空看到美女画册，急忙凑上去看，师傅把画册上下左右移动，悟空随之移动，师傅发现了，开始说：）Ah, wukong ,you want to have a look at it,aren’t you ,If you want to just tell me, I will give it to you, if you don’t tell me how can I know that you want to have a look at it, even if you think in your heart that you want to have a look at it, if you don’t tell me, I still do not know that you want to have a look at it…….(悟空早已痛苦不堪，逃离此地)T：wukong！come back！（唐僧摇摇头,继续看书)
X:（看到画册）ah…..I got a idea!变成了一个女的 说话一定要嗲
X2:（曼妙的走过来，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不转头：leave me alone.x2有碰一下，唐僧依然不转头：I said leave me alone.这时，x2开口说话）
X2:hi….Mr handsome!T:（转头）wow…hi beauty!（扔掉画册，背景音乐响起，only you，神情对视，过会儿）come here,do you want some food？take some bananes。i am tang seng,you can call me Tanny X:hi Tanny…you look great,maybe we can have some time together alone T:yeah,you are right, what are we waiting for?!Let us go!(半路碰到悟空，悟空火眼金睛看出是妖怪)M:Monster！look at how I beat you….（唐僧赶忙拦住）
T:what you are doing,you bastard monkey!this beautiful lady is my guest, M:boss,it is a monster,he change himself into a charming girl so as to attact you.he will eat you T:bullshit!you must be fed up with this trip to west…..（悟空执意要打，唐僧苦劝不听）T：I think you little monkey need some punishment(摆姿势，要念咒语)M：（赶忙说）oh,no, master,not that spell.Q:(sigh)it is so late!(念咒，喜洋洋美羊羊灰太狼红太郎，别看我只是一只羊……悟空落荒而走)T安慰x2之后，继续走，一段路之后：
X2:hahaha…..look at who I am（变回原样，唐僧大喊救命）.X2：i will eat you….Q及时赶来，从悟空那里得知了情况 Q:monster!...stop！he is my man....（转向T）you get attracted by this ugly monster,are you gay?（不可思议的）T：no, I am not！(有口莫辩)Q（面向x）：who are you? X:I am baigujing….and you？
Q:doesn’t matter.i will finish you（举起魔杖，要说阿瓦达索命，突然停住）Oh…but you look familiar….you are xiaobai? X:you are小小？ it must been hundreds of years since the last time I met you,where have you been these years.Q:why do not contact me? X:I do not know your number…..this is your man?!Q:how could it be possible(走过来，把唐僧拨拉到一旁)..i miss you，小白 X：I miss you too……（背景音乐响起，《红豆》）X：how about a cup of tea in my house? Q: that would be perfect, let us go….音乐停，场上只有唐僧，犹豫的望着天空，音乐换成《可惜不是你》 一会儿，悟空和八戒上场，安慰唐僧，重新上路《敢问路在何方》…..全剧终
第五篇：英语搞笑短剧剧本-西游记
Once there was true love for me, but I did not treasure it.Now it’s too late to regret.Nothing in the world can be more painful than that.If only time could go back, if only God could give me one more chance, I would say to the girl: “I love you.” If you dare ask me how long my love will last, my answer will be at least 10,000 years.Beat it!人物：T:唐僧 吕欢 M:孙悟空 徐彩凤 P:猪八戒 艾翘 S:沙僧 李岩艳
X:白骨精原型 乌凡迪 X1:白骨精变成的男人 张伊僮 X2:白骨精变成的女人 王彧 Q:女儿国王后 孙栾营
T: Wow„,boys,this place looks beautiful.where we are now?Does any one of you young men know what this place is? 众徒弟们摇头，除了八戒在看书。
T: bajie, give me the map(不回头，懒洋洋的问)T:bajie? Give the map to me!（严肃的问）
T：bajie!Give the fucking„„..(转过身看到八戒在看书)T:(很吃惊)hey！bajie，you are making youself a new man.what kind of book are you reading? Is it 《jingangjing》 or 《dabeizhou》? 八戒依旧看书，不理睬。T:(凑过去)let me have a look at it!八戒才注意，赶忙藏书。但为时已晚，T一把抢过。发现是封面女郎很惹火，眼神立刻变得温柔，接过书开始看
T：yao„.xi„..(流口水，八戒看到，拿出卫生纸给唐僧擦，唐僧回过神来)T:（转身训斥八戒）how many times I have told you!You are not supposed to read this kind of book!I will keep it for you until the trip is end„..(唐僧将画册掖到衣服里)P:But..um,why boss,why you always said we can never touch girls?I just do not understand„
T:（sigh），how many times I have to tell you ,That is because„(唐僧摆出一个酷酷的动作，一边跳舞，一边开始唱歌，Jackson的dangeous)P:I know T:Monkey,I am hungry.Go and get me some food„.Shaseng,you go feed the horse.(声音放低)and I think it is the time for me to call my little honey pony(甜蜜的，一边掏出手机，回头看到八戒在身边)hey！pig, get out of here!give me some private space!唐僧开始给Q打电话（背景音乐《做你的男人》）T:hi..how you’re doing(不解释„.)Q:I am fine,but I miss you.Since you left,I can not stoping recalling the days we are together..but you do not even give me a call T:oh darling„.i am sorry.these boys are so gaush,it is not convenient to phone you.But you know I love you„oh„they are back!Fuck u boys,can you give me a moment of peace„ M:who you are phoning,boss? T:er(支支吾吾的)I was just having a chat with Budda.where is my food? M:here!I found some delicious bananas!T:bananas again?!How many times I have told you!i am a monk, not a monkey!I want meat, meat(加重语气)！don’t you understand? The next time,you still brings me nothing but bananas, I think we can do nothing but eat your buddy pig(眼睛瞄向八戒，流口水)（T拿起手机）
T:I will call you later，honey，I miss you Q:me too,I will be on the phone,bye„
T：Monkey,I am hungry.Go and get me another food„.not bananas S: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away„..T: Em„„.It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? M: No problem!(安装)（X已躲在一旁偷看）P: This is„..? M: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em„„Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!M: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 白骨精上场
X: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.Hahahaaa„I heard that any monster eating master tang will get a infinite life.how lucky am I,they are in my area.En?Electric net?You are too childish.I get to come up with a plan.Ehn„..get it!i can pretend to be a man,so they will trust me.haha„„change change„„
转了几圈，变成了一个男人。（背景音乐《天竺少女》）X1:I look great!X1:(接近三人，望着)Hey,guys!Can I join you? S: I’m sorry,sir.We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.X1: All right I'll watch you then.(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)X1: Double King!T: Oh„.I win!Em„„,Sir,you are a boss-hand.(背景音乐《斗地主》）Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)M:(回来，看见X1)Dai!You ugly monster!(上前就打)（背景音乐《打斗》
T：er„..悟空，I told you to get him out of here,not beat him to death„..Next time don’t do this kind of thing(拿出美女画册，继续看）M: whatever, all right(懒得解释)（悟空看到美女画册，急忙凑上去看，师傅把画册上下左右移动，悟空随之移动，师傅发现了，开始说：）
Ah, wukong ,you want to have a look at it,aren’t you ,If you want to just tell me, I will give it to you, if you don’t tell me how can I know that you want to have a look at it, even if you think in your heart that you want to have a look at it, if you don’t tell me, I still do not know that you want to have a look at it„„.(悟空早已痛苦不堪，逃离此地)T：wukong！come back！（唐僧摇摇头,继续看书)X:（看到画册）ah„..I got a idea!White-Skeleton Demon find out that master tang likes beautiful women very much,so she decided to change herself to a beautiful girl and deceive master tang to go with her.变成了一个女的（背景音乐《天竺少女》）说话一定要嗲
X2:（曼妙的走过来，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不转头：leave me alone.x2有碰一下，唐僧依然不转头：I said leave me alone.这时，x2开口说话）
X2:hi„.Mr handsome!T:（转头）wow„hi beauty!（扔掉画册，背景音乐响起，only you，神情对视，过会儿）come here,do you want some food？take some bananes。i am tang seng,you can call me Tanny X:hi Tanny„you look great,maybe we can have some time together alone T:yeah,you are right, what are we waiting for?!Let us go!(半路碰到悟空，悟空火眼金睛看出是妖怪)M:Monster！look at how I beat you„.（唐僧赶忙拦住）
T:what you are doing,you bastard monkey!this beautiful lady is my guest, M:boss,it is a monster,he change himself into a charming girl so as to attact you.he will eat you T:bullshit!you must be fed up with this trip to west„..（悟空执意要打，唐僧苦劝不听）
T：I think you little monkey need some punishment(摆姿势，要念咒语)M：（赶忙说）oh,no, master,not that spell.T:(念咒，好了得，悟空落荒而走)T安慰x2之后，继续走，一段路之后：
X2:hahaha„..look at who I am（变回原样，唐僧大喊救命）.X2：i will eat you„.Q及时赶来，从悟空那里得知了情况
Q:monster!...stop！he is my man....（转向T)T：no, I am not！(有口莫辩)Q（面向x）：who are you? X:I am baigujing„.and you？
Q:doesn’t matter.i will finish you（举起魔杖，要说阿瓦达索命，突然停住）Oh„but you look familiar„.you are xiaobai? X:you are小小？ it must been hundreds of years since the last time I met you,where have you been these years.Q:why do not contact me? X:I do not know your number„..this is your man?!Q:how could it be possible(走过来，把唐僧拨拉到一旁)..i miss you，小白
X：I miss you too„„（背景音乐响起，《找朋友》）X：how about a cup of tea in my house? Q: that would be perfect, let us go„.音乐停，场上只有唐僧，犹豫的望着天空，音乐换成《一生所爱》 一会儿，悟空和八戒上场，安慰唐僧（背景音乐响起，《算什么男人》），重新上路《敢问路在何方》„..全剧终
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