搞笑小英语话剧剧本葫芦娃兄弟长大之后

第一篇：搞笑小英语话剧剧本葫芦娃兄弟长大之后

葫芦娃长大之后„„

主持人１：

Hello, everyone!Welcome everyone to we the program“childhood classic bottle gourd child” album today.大家好!欢迎大家来到我们今天的节目“童年经典之葫芦娃”专辑。主持人２：

时光匆匆，转眼２０年过去了，那么现在的葫芦娃们变成了什么样呢？

The time turned an eye to pass by for 20 years in a hurry, what kind did so current bottle gourd the children become? 让我们有请葫芦兄弟！

Let us have already invited bottle gourd brothers!大娃：

大家好！我是葫大娃（红娃）大家还记得我么？我的本领是：大力士，变大，巨人。

Hello, everyone!Is I it big Hu child(red child)everyone that still remember me?My skill is:The muscle man becomes big, giant.主持人１：

哦，是大娃。那大娃啊，这么多年来你们兄弟几个都在干什么啊？ , Is a big child.That big child, so many in the last yearses your brothers how many all at dry what? 大娃： 唉，别提了。还能怎么样啊，长大了就失业了呗。去应聘电影版的葫芦娃人家说我们太老了，不要咱。

It is alas, don't lift.Return ability how, grow up unemployed Bai.Accepting appointment bottle gourd child's somebody else of movie version says that we are too old, not we.主持人２：

什么？失业了？不能啊，你可是我们８０９０后心目中的英雄啊„„现在我还会唱那个主题歌呢„„（唱：葫芦娃葫芦娃＾„„）

What ? Be getting more unemployed ? Not ability, you are us 8090 empress hero within heart ……do I also sing that topic song now …… 主持人１：

别打岔！大娃啊，这个，你们下岗之后又发生了些什么事呢？

Don't interrupt!Big child, this, after you are unemployeed took place again what matter? 大娃：

下岗后我们就搬家了，唉，这岁月不饶人，爷爷年纪大了．我们几个年纪也大了，娶媳妇的娶媳妇，上学的上学，生活让人亚历山大啊．．．．

We moved house after being unemployeed, alas, this time and tide waits for no man, the grandpa is getting older.we a few ages also old, take a wife of take a wife, go to school of go to school, life let person, Alexander,....四娃：

大哥，我来了！我来了！Eldest brother, I came!I came!（气喘吁吁）你怎么不等我啊？ How don't you wait me?

主持人一：

唉？这不是我们的四娃么？你这是？

Is alas?Aren't these our four children?You this BE? 四娃：

奥，那个啥．你们不是请了我们兄弟俩么？路上出了点儿意外„„咳咳，就来晚了点。Ao, that what.you not is invited us brothers a pair?On of road point son accident ……cough, come right away night order.大娃：

不是，四娃。别动别动，你脸上的伤是怎么回事？你和路上那家伙打架了？

Be not, four children.Doing not move doesn't move, is the wound on your face what is the row? Did you fight with road that guy? 主持人：２ 打架？

ｆｉｇｈｔｉｎｇ？ 四娃：

那混蛋说他叫黑猫，是干警察的，丫的，敢打老子，改天把兄弟们都叫上分个高下！

That bastard says he calls black cat, is to do a police, Ya of, dare to beat Lao Tze, another day call the brotherses all last cent superiority!主持人１：（看表）

咳咳„„两位。其实我们今天还请了两位你们七兄弟的老朋友来到现场

Cough ……2.In fact we still pleased today two you the old friend of seven brotherses arrive at the spot„„ 大娃: 老熟人？

Old

acquaintance? 主持人２：

保持神秘感才„„

Keep mysterious feeling just …… 四娃：

我说：谁？（生气大吼）Ｉｓａｙ：Ｗｈｏ？（蛇精与蝎子精跳出来）： 哈哈，是我们啊。小娃娃！Ha ha, is us.Small doll!大娃四娃楞住：转身对两个主持人扳手指冷笑： 四娃： 丫丫个呸

你什么意思？老子今就给你点教训，让你知道花儿为什么这么红！

Are you what mean?Lao Tze now order precept for you, let you know flower why so red!大娃： 哼哼„„

眼看动起手来，六娃突然跳到台上来大喊： 别打了，爷爷手术失败病危了，快去看最后一眼吧„„

Don't beat, the grandpa surgical operation failure was critically ill and saw the last eye quickly ……

大娃四娃惨叫一声：

啊，爷爷！

Ａ, Grandpa!(跳下台去)主持人面面相觑（无奈耸肩）： 主持人１： 好吧，看来20年的时光让我们心目中的英雄们变化不小,亲爱的观众朋友们,由于„„额，嘉宾的提前离去，我们的节目就此结束。

Is all right, see to let for 20 years the heros within our hearts variety not small, dear audience friends, because of ……sum, in advance leaving of the guest, our programs now end.主持人２：

好的，观众朋友们。我们下期节目再见。

Okay, audience friends.We next period program again see.二娃（橙娃）：千里眼，顺风耳，机灵鬼 三娃（黄娃）：铜头铁臂，钢筋铁骨，刀枪不入 四娃（绿娃）：火，霹雳 五娃（青娃）：吸水，吐水，霹雳 六娃（蓝娃）：隐身术，来无影去无踪，善于偷窃妖怪宝物 七娃（紫娃）：宝葫芦，可以吸妖怪芦兄弟的老大！

第二篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

二人用版本

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman.He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students.He has a lot of money now.But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you.I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here.I’ll be a boss soon!Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops!It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands!Never mind!Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……

Oh, my god!Never mind!Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces

加旁白1人属于4人用）

白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen.She had a pretty daughter named Snow White.Soon after the child was born, the queen died.The queen married another queen.The stepmother was very jealous.She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：(Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen.I’m very beautiful.you see.If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her.I have a magic mirror.If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming.Your Majesty!What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes.Your Majesty!You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady.She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本

Global warming

A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?

B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can’t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!

A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.（4人版本）

Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company.This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo!I finally finish this case.It is really tough!I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too.I always get so busy in this season.I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much.What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case? Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right.Let’s pig out on junk food!

Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown.I miss German food!Ca: so do I.how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before.Do you have any recommendation? Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy.But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families? Wing&Ca: No Ci: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted.Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me.what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together.I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great!That is fantastic.Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplings Wing: Very good idea!We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”

Ca: sure, here you are.what s next? Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together.be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it.shall I blend them? CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well.A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared.lets start!CiCi: Wait!I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these? Ca: Wow!Cheese!Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God.Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!

CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life.Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

第三篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

英语搞笑话剧剧本-A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到“香国”。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

Princess: Daddy!Mommy!It’s time to sleep!Don’t forget to take medicine.(King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.)King: Oh, no!It didn’t work.Maybe we should get help from people.Queen: OK!(Point to Ada)You just do it.Go out on the streets and find some help.SCENE IV(Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people.Some people try to make the princess sleep.)Prince:(To himself.)A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work!I think I can make the princess sleep!Can I try? King & Queen: Yes!It’s our pleasure.Please try.Prince: Thank you!(Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.)Sorry!My dear princess!Princess: Oh!Your feet smell so awful.I can’t breathe and I want to sleep.King & Queen: Oh no!My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us!(King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.)King: She’s still breathing.She just fell asleep.(Queen hugs the Princess.)Queen: Thank you!Oh, thank God!My dear baby finally fell asleep.King:(To the prince.)Oh!Thank you!We are very lucky to meet you.Prince: I can’t believe it!My disgusting feet have magic power！Queen: Oh!Don’t say that!They are not disgusting at all.Congratulations!You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes!This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet.And then, she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

第四篇：搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》 旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous sword 搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荆轲

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荆轲

Off course!耸耸肩表示同意 莫愁 Come on!音乐起 两人冲上前来

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荆轲大笑

李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗„„

荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）

荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never„„ Never„„ 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.

第五篇：搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿

旁白

道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠

旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.Birds are dancing in the cold.A man is walking along the street ,step by step.Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches.Y与X相遇．

X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you!Y:, Never mind baby.X:Excuse me，who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y:,I won’t change my name!no matter what happens.I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng.Who are you? X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts? X:Great, you know me!Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me!Let me go!X:No, I must kill you!Y:I don’t want to be killed.There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way!Because we are fighting now!you know ? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good!I like drinking it.How do you know that? Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, Y:Do you still want to kill me ? X:Sure, must!Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good!very good!I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t!

Y:I must give you a lesson!If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1!X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach!Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit（一人路过，x起身跑过去）

X可怜状: excuse me!Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me.Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!

X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye(以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)

Y:Who are you? H:Hua—man—-lou!Have you seen ximenchuixue? Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC”.H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world!

Y:You are right!H:Teriffic!you are the one my king looking for!do you want join in us? If you follow my

king,he will give what you want.Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!

第二幕：无间道

H:My dearest!let me introduce yegucheng to you!（指Y）this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?

King:yes,I will.Y:That’s good.Can you give me a MM ? K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me!Hahaha……

Y:of course.美女出场 M:hello，帅锅..K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng!Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?

Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou, come.put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）

X唱着上:(看到戒指)this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you? Y急切: king!Dear king!I must go now , my brother is looking for me.X冷酷:yegucheng!Come here!I want to tell you something!

Y抱X的腿:old brother!Forgive me!

X:Forgive you? Why ? Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it.If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!Y:I like going lady’s WC.I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)

X:milk?I love you.K:Don’t say that “you love me”.I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me!X:What?(侧耳装着听不到)You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)

K:Fuck you.I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha…… Y:Let me have a try!3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)

M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）

Y :do you want to go to wc? X:Yes,I……I…… do.Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.M: you , stupid , bad behavior!go away!

K;why ? why do you help him!who actually are you ? M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.K惊讶:!you—you—You are X’lover? Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me!I hate you.(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning!K:what a moving story!I was impressed!Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume!M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume!(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together.X:go home!? M:Tomorrow is another day!even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.M I promise.I will never let go（X死）, M: be alive!yeah , be alive!be alive without ahendance!