留学申请个人陈述

第一篇：留学申请个人陈述

Applicant for Computer Science Program from Tsinghua University

Personal Statement

For nearly one year, when all other colleagues had gone back home after work or to the bars for relaxation, I kept myself busy with the designing, programming, and refactoring work.When I got home every day after ten o’clock in the night, I would read papers of XXX and continue for seeking the universities and professors attractive to me until one o’clock in the morning.My sense of responsibility for the company made me obliged to finish all the projects in my hands before I leave for America.And my yearning for the free American environment which is easy to inspire researchers’ potential made me willing to live such hard life under much greater pressure.Although over two years’ software development work in Beijing Grandsoft Technology Co., Ltd has already helped me accumulate considerable experience in software programming and designing and make some achievements admirable in others’ eyes, I, who will be promoted as a senior development engineer, know clearly that only the xxx program in your department can fully exert my strength and make my pursuit come true.I know that I belong to the kind of people who are able to better realize the life values and meaningfulness while doing certain interesting things, who enjoy challenges and thinking and who are always in pursuit of creative ideas.However, the work I was taking up now is almost always repetition of what has already existed.That’s why I gave up the achievement without hesitation.I know that I will be able to master the most advanced technology and thoughts in the xxx program.In such a bright and promising field, I believe I will be able to inspire all my ability in facing challenges, and finally become a top talent to make contributions to the development in the field.Moreover, my studying and working experiences make me very confident in myself to believe that I have got the ability and potential to realize my pursuit.I became interested in computer science in Chongqing Nankai Middle School, a school emphasizing cultivating personal interests.But my unusual performance in the National Entrance Examination failed me for entering the Department of Computer Science of Tsinghua University.Being clear of my interest and goal, I spent quite a lot of time in computer science besides the basic courses required by the university.Although I didn’t gain an extraordinary GPA, I succeeded in transferring to the School of Software.Afterwards, my GPA continued increasing and my foundation in the major was consolidated.I have a good habit in learning and working.No matter how great the pressure was, I would stick to my studies after work.And I finished reading books like Interconnection Networks-An Engineering Approach and reviewed(Introduction to Algorithms, Computer Networks, Database Systems Concepts)twice.In addition, I am very creative.I could solve the instability in file transmission by using FTP/HTTP method instead of the original Web Service/COM+ method to cope with different network situations after independent

Applicant for Computer Science Program from Tsinghua University

thinking;I could solve the problem of difficulties in managing the patch files by putting the client patch files on the server for Auto update, improving the clients’ satisfaction greatly.What’s more, I am very strict with myself and always keep a heart for excellence.I successfully became a formal employee in advance during the probation period.And I gained the Intermediate Engineer position in only one year which normally took three years by others.At the same time, my strong sense of responsibility helped me never disappoint my supervisors and colleagues even when it was necessary to work overtime continuously or all night.Besides, I can even get enlightened when facing failures.My experience in taking charge of the GCM—Grandsoft Cost Management project can be cited here as an example.In this project, we adopted C/S structure using COM+/Web Service as the communication method, and SQL Server 2000 as the database.Although the SQL was optimized and different DB engines and components were tried, the querying efficiency was not improved obviously when dealing with mass data and complex business logics.However, I learned in the course how to improve the efficiency of database query for huge amount of data, how to conduct efficiency test and experiment and how to use the simplest query to realize the huge business logics.In trial use of the Qlikview software of a professional data query company, although I was not able to solve the problem, I learned the BI thoughts to cache data into the memory to improve the application efficiency.However, though I have laid a solid foundation in my years of studies in Tsinghua University and my self-studies during the work, though I have improved my ability in practice and problem-solving, I still lack in theories which can be seen from the above examples.Only practice is not enough to solve problems completely.The importance of theories can be also seen in my adjusting the tree traversing algorithm.I improved the GCM product’s tree building efficiency by dozens of times after I analyzed the general law of data distribution.Therefore, I am more determined to continue my further education abroad.Having gone through the thinking during the learning-working-learning process, I believe that I’ve already found what I need.The xxx program will be the most meaningful place for me in my life.The next ten years of concentrative research coupled with my determination to accept new challenges will enable me to become a paving stone on the road of CS development.以上内容由华恒海淀精品留学部提供

第二篇：留学申请个人陈述

Applicant for Computer Science Program from Tsinghua University

Personal Statement

For nearly one year, when all other colleagues had gone back home after work or to the bars for relaxation, I kept myself busy with the designing, programming, and refactoring work.When I got home every day after ten o’clock in the night, I would read papers of XXX and continue for seeking the universities and professors attractive to me until one o’clock in the morning.My sense of responsibility for the company made me obliged to finish all the projects in my hands before I leave for America.And my yearning for the free American environment which is easy to inspire researchers’ potential made me willing to live such hard life under much greater pressure.Although over two years’ software development work in Beijing Grandsoft Technology Co., Ltd has already helped me accumulate considerable experience in software programming and designing and make some achievements admirable in others’ eyes, I, who will be promoted as a senior development engineer, know clearly that only the xxx program in your department can fully exert my strength and make my pursuit come true.I know that I belong to the kind of people who are able to better realize the life values and meaningfulness while doing certain interesting things, who enjoy challenges and thinking and who are always in pursuit of creative ideas.However, the work I was taking up now is almost always repetition of what has already existed.That’s why I gave up the achievement without hesitation.I know that I will be able to master the most advanced technology and thoughts in the xxx program.In such a bright and promising field, I believe I will be able to inspire all my ability in facing challenges, and finally become a top talent to make contributions to the development in the field.Moreover, my studying and working experiences make me very confident in myself to believe that I have got the ability and potential to realize my pursuit.I became interested in computer science in Chongqing Nankai Middle School, a school emphasizing cultivating personal interests.But my unusual performance in the National Entrance Examination failed me for entering the Department of Computer Science of Tsinghua University.Being clear of my interest and goal, I spent quite a lot of time in computer science besides the basic courses required by the university.Although I didn’t gain an extraordinary GPA, I succeeded in transferring to the School of Software.Afterwards, my GPA continued increasing and my foundation in the major was consolidated.I have a good habit in learning and working.No matter how great the pressure was, I would stick to my studies after work.And I finished reading books like Interconnection Networks-An Engineering Approach and reviewed(Introduction to Algorithms, Computer Networks, Database Systems Concepts)twice.In addition, I am very creative.I could solve the instability in file transmission by using FTP/HTTP

method instead of the original Web Service/COM+ method to cope with different network situations after independent thinking;I could solve the problem of difficulties in managing the patch files by putting the client patch files on the server for Auto update, improving the clients’ satisfaction greatly.What’s more, I am very strict with myself and always keep a heart for excellence.I successfully became a formal employee in advance during the probation period.And I gained the Intermediate Engineer position in only one year which normally took three years by others.At the same time, my strong sense of responsibility helped me never disappoint my supervisors and colleagues even when it was necessary to work overtime continuously or all night.Besides, I can even get enlightened when facing failures.My experience in taking charge of the GCM—Grandsoft Cost Management project can be cited here as an example.In this project, we adopted C/S structure using COM+/Web Service as the communication method, and SQL Server 2000 as the database.Although the SQL was optimized and different DB engines and components were tried, the querying efficiency was not improved obviously when dealing with mass data and complex business logics.However, I learned in the course how to improve the efficiency of database query for huge amount of data, how to conduct efficiency test and experiment and how to use the simplest query to realize the huge business logics.In trial use of the Qlikview software of a professional data query company, although I was not able to solve the problem, I learned the BI thoughts to cache data into the memory to improve the application efficiency.However, though I have laid a solid foundation in my years of studies in Tsinghua University and my self-studies during the work, though I have improved my ability in practice and problem-solving, I still lack in theories which can be seen from the above examples.Only practice is not enough to solve problems completely.The importance of theories can be also seen in my adjusting the tree traversing algorithm.I improved the GCM product’s tree building efficiency by dozens of times after I analyzed the general law of data distribution.Therefore, I am more determined to continue my further education abroad.Having gone through the thinking during the learning-working-learning process, I believe that I’ve already found what I need.The xxx program will be the most meaningful place for me in my life.The next ten years of concentrative research coupled with my determination to accept new challenges will enable me to become a paving stone on the road of CS development.以上内容由华恒海淀精品留学部提供

Master of Accounting

Personal Statement

In 2009, when everyone in China was saving money for real estate investments, I was putting money away so that I could come to the United States and study.This was not a popular decision among my family and friends.Why would I give up a great job and life to travel half way across the earth and become a poor college student again? I don’t know how many times I tried to explain to them that I thought it would be a good investment and that in the end it would benefit my life and my career tremendously.The second reason(and maybe the most important)is that I truly enjoy learning and obtaining knowledge;it makes me feel I am growing as a person and gives me a great sense of self-satisfaction.My grandfather was a respected professor at a prestigious university prior to the Cultural Revolution and both my parents are senior engineers who graduated from the best university in China.Though we were never rich by any means, my parents always made it a priority to take me to museums, bookstores, and famous colleges in their spare time.I loved reading stories about famous scientists, especially those who persisted in their theories no matter how difficult the situation.The atmosphere in my house was one that allowed me to cultivate my mind and find my passion.My decision to major in accounting came from my three-year term as the treasurer of my high school class.There I was responsible for recording, archiving receipts, making the annual budget, and collecting and refunding money for programs.This job transformed me into a patient and organized person who wanted to learn more about financial management.In 2001, I enrolled as an accounting student at the(college name).(college name)is one of the most competitive universities in China and my time there taught me a lot about the spirit of hard work.Each of my last three years at the university I was awarded a level 3 scholarship as an outstanding student.Upon graduation my major GPA was a 3.6 which ranked me among the top 15 percent of my class.To prove my accounting sense and financial management capability I postponed my graduate education and accepted a position as an auditor at(accounting firm name)Beijing Branch.During my 4-year employment there I had the opportunity to experience the full range of planning, auditing, and reporting.Among my duties there were:(1)the designing of suitable audit methods for clients,(2)using procedures to exam and analyze accounts,(3)evaluating the fairness of financial statements and reports,(4)and providing recommendations regarding improving operations and financial positions of clients.My largest client when I was with(accounting firm name)was(company name).I worked as an auditor of their IPO program and on the first annual audit after that.One of the things I am most proud of is the Revenue and Cost recognition model I created while I was there.It was based on the percentage-of-completion method and could check for inconsistencies within the data, calculate the revenue of projects, and exam clients’ combination results when there are inter-subcontracts.This model was adopted as the major tool for the entire team of auditors(approximately 100)and to my knowledge is still used in(company name’s)audit team today.My work there not only confirmed my competence in the accounting field, but also trained me into a diligent and persevering professional.More than 50% of my clients were new clients, meaning we had no records in our database to refer to.The challenge of starting from the very beginning is stressful and exciting at the same time.I found myself extremely motivated when I had the authority to design procedures and make decisions.The feeling of success and confidence I gained from serving new clients is the main reason why I stayed with the(company name)team for 20 months.My work there gave me a great sense of self-satisfaction and was recognized by my peers and supervisors.I was rewarded for my hard work by being one of the top paid employees at my level during my last three years of employment.When working as an auditor, the thing that interested me most is the conversion between different GAAPs.My experience of serving publicly listed companies in China, Hong Kong, and the US made me realize there are many theoretical differences between PRC GAAP, IFRS, and US GAAP.The accounting principles adopted by different countries not only show their stages of development, but also express their culture and social preferences.So is it really possible that we eliminate the GAAP difference by implementing IFRS? I am not sure what the right answer is but it is my opinion that the current IFRS employed in Hong Kong is vague and can be the source of many discussable issues.US GAAP, on the other hand, provides a much more advanced and structured approach to accounting.Maybe the US will adopt the IFRS eventually, but I believe that the US GAAP will still provide helpful guidance in the future.Learning more about the US GAAP is one of the main reasons I want to pursue an Education in the United States and I hope to obtain the AICPA license prior to my graduation.I chose the accounting program at the(college name)not only because of its great reputation, but also because of the financial services option that I am especially interested in.Though my auditing experience proved my accounting skills, I also want to learn more about financial tools, such as bonds, forward contracts, and arbitrage.New businesses are relying more and more on the capital markets and having a solid knowledge of financing is a necessary commodity in the accounting field.With(college name’s)financial services option I would be able to take more than 20 credit hours of finance classes, which will help me become much more proficient in the area of financial analysis.After graduate school, I plan to go back to China and consider a career in a new developing industry.The ability to see my accounting and financial management knowledge evolve into a hopeful, healthy, developing business is my motivation for this choice.Although many of my family and friends may not think that coming to the US to study is the best decision, I believe it will broaden my knowledge of accounting to an extent that I could never find in my home country.Also it will allow me to follow my own passion and learn from another culture which will be an invaluable asset for the rest of my life

以下是一篇申请美国金融专业的出国留学个人陈述范文，很长，大家可以参考一下，取长补短。美国金融专业的申请竞争还是非常激烈的，所以个人陈述的写作力求新颖亮点突出，文章不在长，而在质量。过于冗长的文章，并不一定对申请起到助力作用。

Finance is the lifeline of modern economy and if there is no finance globalization, there is no economy globalization.Finance globalization promoted to enlarge international finance market;multinational trade species and the scale, to make finance innovative appeared, strengthen international capital function and to play an important role on the resource distribution in the world.With the communication among nations increase and the technology information development, the development of finance tends to globalization.Finance globalization is the motor of economy globalization, finance and economy was one of the important factors for holding for the whole world, information, technology and other industry were developed on the base of finance and economy.The economy strength of a nation decided its place in the world.In the future, the world finance market would present themselves with different styles;non-essential economy began to play an important role in the world, the development of information industry made finance market develop more quickly.Moreover, finance influenced largely on the daily life of common people and made common people more concern the development tendency of finance then before and made out the relevant reaction according to getting information from all aspects, for example, the change of inflation, stock and exchange rate etc.All that influenced common peoples(people’s)lives and economical programs.I began to realize that finance in fact was the different(difference)between microcosmic and microeconomic and macroeconomic knowledge through my

learning in the university, and it owned strong practice and was not abstract knowledge.For instance, currency banking, investment and international finance etc.all offered many cases and made me realize the meaning of finance.Then I knew that finance covered a wider scope and researcher needed strong academic background and ability on macro-control by practices and analysis of cases.For example, I acted as a leader of group, each group represents an enterprise and discussed whether open new produces instead of old produces, I told every member to answer for a part and consult materials, then we talked about them together and found some materials had superposition and didn’t have close logic, even each member had different emphasis and expressions which made me know cooperation was very important in a enterprise.So I held the second meeting to talk about these questions.I asked all members to look for materials relevant to this case respectively and then analyzed them together.During the process, we thought about them deeply and fully, finally we got a best scheme.Through this experiment, I became lover finance major than before, because it not only brought me model and data but also interest on(in)connecting knowledge with practices to make data and model vivid.Even each new idea produced different result.Finance is not a material concept but is social science, which contains a wider scope.I am very glad to involving discovering unknown things in this field.Just like discussion, many members’ thoughts inspired me and we got satisfied results.Finance is a social science which embodied human being is the essential.We could cultivate our academic taste during the learning symposia and academic discussion process.In the practices we could cultivate intuition added combination with academic background and mathematic theory;we could understand finance better.So I pay attention to connect theory and practices more than before, in my spare time I took part in social practices, for example I visited “international finance” of newspaper office and “Shanghai stock exchange”, besides I took part in planning for the “second finance year meeting” in Shanghai University of Finance and Economics.During the process, I met many finance people and got a chance for visiting Holland bank.Moreover I often consulted lots of finance journals and website materials etc.In order to connect theory with practices better, I carried on special researches on these problems.For example, I began to research “RMB Globalization problem” and its aim was to review substantial economy and non-substantial economy how to influence currency international globalization from demonstration and theory angle to help us understand the experiences and lessons happened on the process of each national currency globalization and offered some feasible references for RMB international globalization.I connected the fact of our national economy development, especially, the base fact of RMB used by some nations around China, through researching the general rule of currency internationalization globalization, to discuss the problem on RMB international globalization process.First, I reviewed the main countries’ currency globalization process in the world, and found that currency globalization must have two basic conditions.The first was rich economy strength;the second was to keep valuta long stabilization.Second, I pointed out RMB globalization was the necessity choice of our national economy persisting development and the benefit of currency globalization according to the impersonality requirement of economical globalization development, and RMB globalization would more enlarge the degree for opening to foreign.At the same time I thought that stable, quickly developmental national economy and larger economical scope made RMB of our country globalization strengthens and higher ability against risk, the last part emphasized the process of RMB globalization and the research on keeping away from risk.The process of RMB internationalization was: first implement RMB regional strategy on the basis of East Asia currency cooperation and East Asian free trade, then implement RMB globalization stratagem under many perfect factors influence.But during this process, it was very difficult for me to research non-substantiality economy in China.At present familiar to us, it was the stock market, while in China the stock market system did not very perfect and exist some problems on efficiency, security and fair.For example, I consulted many materials and knew several stages of Chinese stock issue, international paper department how to issue stock and the relative policy and system of stock market, then I asked my advisor how to comment on it and collected some comments of experts on the website.Besides I logged in MARKET WATCH and bought several stocks to do experiment to find out the conclusion that China it was more perfect, so Chinese stock market needed to be improved.Finance is very important in all fields and no other field can exist with breaking away from finance, so the requirements for financer should be improved in the future.Above all, in the future society, the requirement for financer was higher than before, the talent only mastered profession will unfit the future society.Because in China there are limit resources for me and I am impressed by your esteemed university, so I decided to go abroad for my future education

第三篇：留学申请个人陈述范例

Applicant for Finance Program from Renmin University of China

Personal Statement

My interest in finance can be initially traced back to the bestseller entitled Rich Dad, Poor Dad written by Kiyosaki Robert T.and Lechter Sharon L..Though a ten-year-old boy at that time, I was much fascinated with the economic knowledge conveyed in simple expressions of the book which I read for several times and shared the cases in it with my friends.My motivation to explore the financial world also benefits from my parents both of whom have achieved higher education in finance and engaged in the relevant fields.Having received a rigorous academic training for my past undergraduate study in Renmin University of China, I’m eager to educate myself on an international scale.Finance appeals to me by its extensive and profound nature.As far as I’m concerned, the relationship between finance and economy is akin to that between blood and body.Just as the physical conditions can be reflected from the circulation of blood according to the Chinese medicine, the economic operation of a country can be judged from its financial status, funds flow, etc.My exposures to the professional courses of Money and Banking, Corporate Financing, Macro/Micro Economics, Econometrics, International Finance, and Insurance as well as the mathematical courses such as Mathematical Analysis, Advanced Algebra, Probability Theory and Mathematical Statistics have enabled me to lay a solid academic foundation of finance.Meanwhile, bearing in mind sound interpersonal skills and hands-on ability are the basic personal qualities required of a successful financial person, I availed myself of various opportunities to undertake practices.I began to invest in the stock market in 2007.In face of the frustrations at the outset, I audited all the courses of security analysis and investment on campus, read a lot of financial magazines and newspapers and consulted some professors and my parents.I was uplifted during such a process, not only in money making, but also in grasping the principles and regulations behind the stock market.I value my experiences in conducting research programs which acted as bridges linking my theoretical knowledge with the larger world where it would be applied.More importantly, I got much enlightenment and inspiration from making presentations, like my presentations regarding the comparison and analysis of appreciations of Yuan and Yen along with the cases of insurances.In these presentations, I tried to arrive at flexible and comprehensive command of complicated knowledge.Besides, I derived self-confidence and sense of joy in immersing myself in the fields where my interests genuinely lay.My other unique assets are attributed to my internships in different units where finance invariably plays an important role.When I worked in China Foreign Exchange and Trade Centre, I gained a full understanding of the trading systems of commercial banks and raised my own proposals which were soon adopted about their function setting.Meanwhile, I found a trader’s work busy but interesting, which allowed me to see my own strength and weakness gauged with the professionals.I had my professional skills and teamwork spirit honed during my internship in People’s Bank of China where I learned about the functions of the central bank and my prominent performance won recognition from the persons in charge there.Furthermore, my on-the-spot investigations in a goal

Applicant for Finance Program from Renmin University of China

mine enterprise and a copper mine enterprise allowed me to see other fields where finance matters tremendously through my exposure to the financial conditions, profit resources and development trends of the enterprises.These experiences, combined with my bountiful extracurricular activities such as the volunteer position of Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, involvement in organizing exhibitions and shows have prompted me to set my own career goals—compared to the research work, I prefer a more practical career.And I have learned to focus on the way to achieving my goals—to pursue more advanced education in America, the ideal place full of practical opportunities regarding finance and economy as a whole.I have long admired your esteemed university for its significant achievements in the teaching and research of finance.Your program of finance, with its well-structured curriculum, highly-productive faculty as well as a multitude of real-world projects matches my academic background and interest perfectly.I hope to work in a world-class financial institution or a transnational enterprise after the completion of my master program and your diverse student body and strong alumni work will no doubt become a stepping stone leading me to my career goal.Fully prepared and determined, I’m convinced that your university is precisely my starting point.以上内容由华恒海淀精品留学部提供

第四篇：如何写留学申请的个人陈述

美国留学申请如何写个人陈述

什么是个人陈述

个人陈述是在申请过程中按照学校要求来写一篇有关申请人背景,学术成就和未来研究和职业目标的文章。一篇成功的个人陈述不但应该语言流畅,逻辑严谨,层次分明,更要充分显示申请人的才华并抓住审阅人的注意力。几乎所有学校都要求提交个人陈述。

个人陈述也有不同的名称,如Personal Statement,Statement of Purpose,Statement of Intent, Statement of Objectives, Academic Statement,Study Plan,Academic Objectives等。

个人陈述应当包含以下内容：

（一）申请者的学术或专业兴趣及背景；

（二）欲研究的方向；

（三）未来的职业目标。

如果个人陈述写作得当,可以很大程度地提高申请者获得录取和奖学金的机会。这对申请者来说是一个绝好的机会。可惜的是很多申请者对TOEFL、GRE可谓呕心沥血,而对个人陈述往往一蹴而就,敷衍了事,内容贫乏、语法错误连篇。而西方的大学并不单是通过传统的考试来考评其申请者的资格,这并不是说他们的录取标准不严格。外国教授在决定你是否正是他们想要的人时,首先希望听一听你对于你自己作何评价。当你通过申请文书来介绍你自己时,你会发现所面临的机遇和挑战同样之大。

要写出成功的申请文书仅仅有那些适用于任何类型写作的基本写作技巧（清晰、简洁）是远远不够的。一篇好的申请文书要求申请人能够用一种与其他申请人完全不同方式,巧妙地展现自己的独特个性和经验。这是一件要求比较高,通常非常繁累的工作。这不仅仅对中国人如此,以英语为母语的人在此类写作时也会感到十分的头疼,但是我们中国人还需克服语言的障碍。

美国留学申请如何写个人陈述

个人陈述的内容应包含下列三项资料：

（一）申请者的学术或专业兴趣及背景；

（二）欲研究的方向；

（三）未来的职业目标；

写作时,依以上三点将文章分为三个主要部分。不要像列清单,也不要重覆申请表格已有的资料。

注意事项：

（一）详读学校的写作说明并了解问题的重点,不赘言,不遗漏,且在要求的字数内完成。例如学校要求五百字内完成(In 500 words or less discuss...),则全文最好不要超过五百字。如果学

校要求以问答方式来叙述(Responses to essay questions, Please limit your response to on page.),即依其要求回答不长过一页。

（二）写作时应清楚明确。例如：

1.“I am interested in English literature” 这句话表达不够清楚,而I was concentrated on Milton and Shakespeare in college“ 就明白的说出了申请人的志趣及研究范围。

2．”I received extensive training in physics“ 这句话不够详细,”My training was in the area of particle physics“就具体多了。

3.”I was very active as a student representative“ 最好说明曾经做什么:组织活动,主办演讲,沟通学生与校方意见等。

4．”I am attracted to your department by its brilliant faculty.“应说明对於教授的认知是从何而来,如在何处读到某教授的文章而愿受教于他,或某位教授正在从事一项重要研究,与自己欲攻读的研究领域相同等。表达对所申请之系的课程、教师和特性有些了解,依学校之不同而提及某位任教於该校的教授、新课程或该校的某个学位有兴趣。

（三）不要用语意模糊的句子,如 ”Your esteemed school“应代以学校的名字。”I will return to serve my country“应明确的说出所要从事的到底是什麽工作等。

（四）避免用深奥的字汇,尽量以简单容易的字来表达。

（五）不要离题,谈论一些不相干的事。

（六）态度诚恳认真,不卑不亢。不用为自己的弱点道歉,比如托福成绩不高等；也不要表现得过份自信。重要的是给学校一个专业,认真的印象。

（七）不要抄袭,改写书上的样本文章。应详读学校的介绍,了解其要求,再对自己的学业背景、计划加以考虑,写出自己的风格。

（八）检查英文的时态、性别及单多数等方面的错误。

Ten Do's for Personal Statement

1.Unite your essay and give it direction with a theme or thesis.The thesis is the main point you want to communicate.2.Before you begin writing, choose what you want to discuss and the order in which you want to discuss it.3.Use concrete examples from your life experience to support your thesis and distinguish yourself from other applicants.4.Write about what interests you, excites you.That's what admissions staff wants to read.5.Start your essay with an attention-grabbing lead--an anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description of scene.6.End your essay with a conclusion that refers back to lead and restates your thesis.7.Revise your essay at least three times.8.In addition to your editing, ask someone else to critique your personal statement for you.9.Proofread your personal statement by reading it out loud or reading it into a tape recorder and playing back the tape.10.Write clearly, succinctly.Ten Don'ts for Personal Statement

1.Don't include information that doesn't support your thesis.2.Don't start your essay with ”I was born in..“ or ”My parents came from..."

3.Don't write an autobiography, itinerary, or resume in prose.4.Don't try to be a clown(but gentle humor is ok).5.Don't be afraid to start over if the essay just isn't working or doesn't answer the essay question.6.Don't try to impress your reader with your vocabulary.7.Don't rely exclusively on your computer to check your spelling.8.Don't provide a collection of generic statements and platitudes.9.Don't give mealy-mouthed, weak excuses for your GPA or test scores.10.Don't make things up.自述，即Personal Statement，是所有出国文件中最重要的部分，它是申请者最主要的自我包装。申请的过程就是要把自己推销给评审者的过程。你的任务是让这一文件反映你的个性和才智。写自述即使对以英语为母语的北美、英联邦国家学生也是颇费心力的事情。对中国申请者来说，用英语写作本来就是困难的事，更何况自述是为了表现和包装自己，有违我们的文化习俗，所以写起来往往倍感吃力。中国申请者往往没有面谈的机会，因而这份文件愈发显得重要。

需要忠告所有的申请者：必须抓住机会，充分且恰如其分地表现你的人格魅力、智慧和已取得的成就。制作自述要花大量的精力，决不能草率从事。你已经花费了多年的心血，完成了大学甚至是研究生的学习，你也可能又在随后的工作岗位上积累了宝贵的经验，现在又通过艰苦卓绝的努力成功地考过了IELTS、TOEFL和GRE。然而，你的任务并没有结束。你必须静下心来，有条不紊地处理多种文件，这其中自述是重中之重。

怎样真正地把此项工作当作重中之重呢?并不是让你赶紧去买一本所谓范例然后照着抄，而是要借此机会严肃、认真和全面地审视自己的才能、潜能以及出国留学的目的。这种对自己的能力、向往和追求的透彻了解是写作自述的基础。根据笔者在国外求学、工作的经验，可以这么说，在写好自述这件事上，中国留学生可以说是遇上了一个深层次而且是重大的文化差异。其中所谓“深层次”就是说这个差异不是西方人喝咖啡中国人喝茶、西方人称“Darling”而中国人称“孩子他妈”那样简单。

国外许多“雇主”和大学的录取评审者非常重视求职者、求学者对自身是否了解以及对自己的前途和目标是否明确。在他们的文化中，这样的自我了解被视为是人的素质中很重要的一部分。同时，他们也十分重视对此作出个性化表达的能力。我并不是要讨论文化问题，而是力求以最短的篇幅给申请人以最大的实用指导。切记不要把写作自述一事当作官样文章而草率应付。国外教育机构的官僚主义常常更甚于我国，但要求写自述，的确不是官样文章，而是给申请者一次表现自己的机会。请各位申请人切记，这样的表现一定要富有个性。怎样判断自述是否反映了个性呢?最简单的办法就是看第二个人是否能写出一样的或是差不多的内容。真正富有个性的自我介绍是不可能与其他人的自我介绍雷同的。尽管有许多人有着看上去类似的求学、求职经历，但是每个人对学习、工作、事业和他人的感受应该是独特的。即使两个人所有的学习和工作经历都相同，也都计划去同一个领域深造，但是引发他们对该学科感兴趣的外部事物和内心感受也必定是有区别的。所以，在我们谈到写作自述其他注意事项之前，首先要求申请者要独具创意。在写作时认真而全面地审视自己的方法就是默默地自问如下问题：

1.对所要申请的学校和专业是否有了深入、细致的了解;能否做到在写自述时紧扣学校和专业的要求及特点，突出自己的申请优势?

2.我的人生经历中有什么独特的、非同寻常的地方?在我的家庭生活和社会生活中有哪些人或事件影响了我的人生观和事业追求?这些影响有什么与众不同的地方?

3.我最初是如何对目前所选专业感兴趣的?我在其后的岁月中又是如何加深了对这一学科领域的认识的?我在这一领域已经取得了什么样的成绩?是什么因素使我相信自己能够在这一领域有所建树?

4.在上学期我从事了哪些助教、助研、社会实践或暑期工作?通过这些活动在什么方面得到了提高(比如科研能力、组织能力和领导能力等)?在步入社会后的工作中完成过什么项目?取得了哪些成就?表现出何等才干?

5.我最终的事业目标是什么?

6.我多年来的考试成绩有没有需要解释的地方?比方：大学成绩一直很优异，但GRE成绩却不怎么理想;高年级的成绩是否比低年级的成绩有显著提高?

7.在自我奋斗的过程中是否需要克服超常的困难，如家庭生活贫困、身体残疾等?

8.我是否具备杰出的品格，比如诚实、可靠、善良、刻苦等等?对此我能否提供真凭实据来加以证明?我是否具备值得一提的优秀的工作习惯和态度，以及品质上的优势。

9.我具备什么样的特殊才能，如分析能力、领导才能和交流才能?我为什么比别的申请者更具有在事业上成功的把握?

要回答这些问题的确不容易，但你必须在正式写作自述之前全面准备，认真思考这些问题，因为你的自述需要回答所有这些问题或其中的大部分。

对内容有了把握后，就要注意写作技巧了。这里说的写作技巧不是英语水平的问题，而是写作思路、取材和段落的安排。写自述的最大忌讳就是写得毫无特色、枯燥乏味。要知道每一个录取评审委员需要阅读成百上千份自述，其中大多数自述的内容都是雷同的。他们不可能有时间和精力在平淡中寻找不寻常，努力发掘你的优秀之处。要写得醒目，抓住读者的注意力，这个责任完全在你自己。

所以，自述的第一段或者是前两段尤为重要——必须能够引起读者对你的兴趣，且能体现出关于你个人的最重要的信息。如果你的这两段内容中有闪光之处，能够给人留下深刻的印象，那么就达到了最佳效果。

鉴于绝大多数申请者的确有着类似的学历和工作背景，而且现在又在追求一个共同的目标，因此，写作中的雷同很难避免。在这里，笔者要强调获得独特性的两个重要方法：一是寻找独特的思想方法或审视自己的独特角度;二是在陈述过程中采用故事手法。

采取第一种方法时，我们要从多种角度确定文章的基调。在此，我们对三种较常见的类型进行简要论述：

1.克服生活中的逆境型：笔者曾看过一位外国申请者写的自述。作者的家庭背景是贫苦的、不识英文的第一代亚裔移民。作者没有回避自己多花了几年时间才完成大学的教育并且成绩较差这一惨痛的事实，而是就此问题展开了对自己的介绍。作为长子的他肩负帮助父母抚养年幼妹妹的重任。因此，完成大学教育对他来说需要艰苦卓绝的努力。通过他的叙述，一位意志坚强、吃苦耐劳并具有高度责任感的年轻人的形象跃然纸上。

这位作者申请的是法学院，难度较大，但作者有力地陈述了他的理由：他的父母像许多亚裔移民一样，不懂英文，更不懂在美国用法律的手段来保护自己的权益。他现在申请读法学院，目的就是为了将来能够使用法律的武器维护美国少数族裔的权益。

这样的信读起来感人至深，作者当然也被录取了。成功之处就在于作者能以独特的角度来看待自己的经历和追求的目标，并使两者达到了高度统一。

在写这种在逆境中奋起的自述时，应通过事实来描述过去的经历及这段经历对自己的求学、事业和人生目标的正面影响。切忌耽于自我怜悯，或以一种谴责评判的方式使文章显得充满怨气。本章列举的第7例Bi Niniu(真名隐)的自述改后稿可说是这种自述的经典之作。

2.自我成长型：这种申请人在生活、学业和工作上虽不可避免地遇到了某些挫折，但相对来说，他们的生活比较一帆风顺。写这种自述一定要用正面、肯定的语气，清楚、精炼，同时又要充分、多方面地展示自己独特的才智、事业和求学的追求方向。本章列举的第31例Cai Tian先生的自述即属于这一类型。

3.家庭影响型：这可以是好的家庭背景对申请者产生了正面的影响，也可以是艰难或不好的家庭环境作用于申请者，使之反思并发奋图强。写正面的影响时注意不要过分渲染家庭的帮助和督促向导作用，因为这往往会使评审人认为你缺乏主见和能动力;同样，写不好的家庭背景时，也不要太多着墨于种种困难，重要的是突出自己不屈从命运安排的精神和志向。

至此我们谈到了全面和深刻地审视自己、寻找独特的角度以及注重运用细节等问题。下面提出一些关于材料取舍问题的建议供读者参考：

首先，千万不要遗漏掉那些有用的和中肯的成就、经验等事实。

此外，最好不提的还有政治观点、宗教信仰和其他一切容易引起争议的话题。有个别申请者在文件中提到了“上帝”这样的字眼，犯了西方社会宗教和学术分离的大忌。

第五篇：留学申请个人陈述写作经典

Applicant for Finance Program from Renmin University of China

Personal Statement

My interest in finance can be initially traced back to the bestseller entitled Rich Dad, Poor Dad written by Kiyosaki Robert T.and Lechter Sharon L..Though a ten-year-old boy at that time, I was much fascinated with the economic knowledge conveyed in simple expressions of the book which I read for several times and shared the cases in it with my friends.My motivation to explore the financial world also benefits from my parents both of whom have achieved higher education in finance and engaged in the relevant fields.Having received a rigorous academic training for my past undergraduate study in Renmin University of China, I’m eager to educate myself on an international scale.Finance appeals to me by its extensive and profound nature.As far as I’m concerned, the relationship between finance and economy is akin to that between blood and body.Just as the physical conditions can be reflected from the circulation of blood according to the Chinese medicine, the economic operation of a country can be judged from its financial status, funds flow, etc.My exposures to the professional courses of Money and Banking, Corporate Financing, Macro/Micro Economics, Econometrics, International Finance, and Insurance as well as the mathematical courses such as Mathematical Analysis, Advanced Algebra, Probability Theory and Mathematical Statistics have enabled me to lay a solid academic foundation of finance.Meanwhile, bearing in mind sound interpersonal skills and hands-on ability are the basic personal qualities required of a successful financial person, I availed myself of various opportunities to undertake practices.I began to invest in the stock market in 2007.In face of the frustrations at the outset, I audited all the courses of security analysis and investment on campus, read a lot of financial magazines and newspapers and consulted some professors and my parents.I was uplifted during such a process, not only in money making, but also in grasping the principles and regulations behind the stock market.I value my experiences in conducting research programs which acted as bridges linking my theoretical knowledge with the larger world where it would be applied.More importantly, I got much enlightenment and inspiration from making presentations, like my presentations regarding the comparison and analysis of appreciations of Yuan and Yen along with the cases of insurances.In these presentations, I tried to arrive at flexible and comprehensive command of complicated knowledge.Besides, I derived self-confidence and sense of joy in immersing myself in the fields where my interests genuinely lay.My other unique assets are attributed to my internships in different units where finance invariably plays an important role.When I worked in China Foreign Exchange and Trade Centre, I gained a full understanding of the trading systems of commercial banks and raised my own proposals which were soon adopted about their function setting.Meanwhile, I found a trader’s work busy but interesting, which allowed me to see my own strength and weakness gauged with the professionals.I had my professional skills and teamwork spirit honed during my internship in People’s Bank of China where I learned about the functions of the central bank and my prominent performance won recognition from the persons in charge there.Furthermore, my on-the-spot investigations in a goal

Applicant for Finance Program from Renmin University of China

mine enterprise and a copper mine enterprise allowed me to see other fields where finance matters tremendously through my exposure to the financial conditions, profit resources and development trends of the enterprises.These experiences, combined with my bountiful extracurricular activities such as the volunteer position of Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, involvement in organizing exhibitions and shows have prompted me to set my own career goals—compared to the research work, I prefer a more practical career.And I have learned to focus on the way to achieving my goals—to pursue more advanced education in America, the ideal place full of practical opportunities regarding finance and economy as a whole.I have long admired your esteemed university for its significant achievements in the teaching and research of finance.Your program of finance, with its well-structured curriculum, highly-productive faculty as well as a multitude of real-world projects matches my academic background and interest perfectly.I hope to work in a world-class financial institution or a transnational enterprise after the completion of my master program and your diverse student body and strong alumni work will no doubt become a stepping stone leading me to my career goal.Fully prepared and determined, I’m convinced that your university is precisely my starting point.