TED演讲抑郁,我们各自隐藏的秘密

第一篇：TED演讲抑郁,我们各自隐藏的秘密

00:14 “I felt a Funeral, in my Brain, and Mourners to and fro kept treading--treading--till [it seemed] that Sense was breaking through--And when they all were seated, a Service, like a Drum--kept beating--beating--till I [thought] my Mind was going numb--And then I heard them lift a Box and creak across my Soul with those same Boots of Lead, again, then Space--began to toll, As [all] the Heavens were a Bell, and Being, [but] an Ear, and I, and Silence, some strange Race, wrecked, solitary, here--[And] then a Plank in Reason, broke, and I fell down and down--and hit a World, at every plunge, and Finished knowing--then--” “我的脑海中，进行着一场葬礼，悼念者络绎不绝 不停的走着, 踩踏着 直到仪式的氛围渐浓 当所有人入座 仪式开始，敲鼓的声音 沉重有力，敲打着, 敲打着 直到我的意识变得麻木 我听见他们抬起棺材 沉重的脚步，摇摇晃晃 我的灵魂，吱呀作响 四周，丧钟响起 天堂，就像一个铃铛 存在，那么就是一只耳朵 安静的我，如同异类 在此孤独，在此腐朽 失去依靠，理性开始崩塌 我从高处坠落 跌入一个又一个世界 终于，看清

01:11 We know depression through metaphors.Emily Dickinson was able to convey it in language, Goya in an image.Half the purpose of art is to describe such iconic states.我们能够在一些文学作品中看到抑郁的影子 艾米莉·迪金森（美国十九世纪著名女诗人）通过诗歌诠释它 戈雅（西班牙画家）通过绘画表达 许多艺术作品产生的初衷 就是为了表达这充满象征意义的状态

01:26 As for me, I had always thought myself tough, one of the people who could survive if I'd been sent to a concentration camp.就我自己来说，我一度认为自己非常坚强 认为自己是那一类即使被送去集中营 也可以存活下来的人 01:35 In 1991, I had a series of losses.My mother died, a relationship I'd been in ended, I moved back to the United States from some years abroad, and I got through all of those experiences intact.1991年，我经历了一连串的不幸 母亲去世 爱情终结 我也在几年的海外生活之后 回到了美国 我在经历了这一切之后依旧安然无恙 01:49 But in 1994, three years later, I found myself losing interest in almost everything.I didn't want to do any of the things I had previously wanted to do, and I didn't know why.The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality.And it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment.Everything there was to do seemed like too much work.I would come home and I would see the red light flashing on my answering machine, and instead of being thrilled to hear from my friends, I would think, “What a lot of people that is to have to call back.” Or I would decide I should have lunch, and then I would think, but I'd have to get the food out and put it on a plate and cut it up and chew it and swallow it, and it felt to me like the Stations of the Cross.然而在1994年，也就是三年之后 我突然发现自己对几乎所有的事情都失去了兴趣 甚至不愿意去做那些 我曾经很想去做的事情 我不知道这是为什么 抑郁的反面 并非快乐，而是活力 而正是这样的活力 似乎就在那段时间从我的身体中慢慢消失了 所有需要完成的事情 都感觉那么麻烦 回到家的时候 看着电话留言机上闪烁的红灯 我不但不会因为听到朋友们的声音感到兴奋 反而会想 怎么有这么多人等我回电话 有时该吃午饭了 我却开始想，我还得把食物拿出来 放到盘子里 得切，得嚼，得咽 让我感觉就像耶稣受难一样 02:44 And one of the things that often gets lost in discussions of depression is that you know it's ridiculous.You know it's ridiculous while you're experiencing it.You know that most people manage to listen to their messages and eat lunch and organize themselves to take a shower and go out the front door and that it's not a big deal, and yet you are nonetheless in its grip and you are unable to figure out any way around it.And so I began to feel myself doing less and thinking less and feeling less.It was a kind of nullity.人们在谈论抑郁时 时常忽略了一点 那就是你知道这一切都很荒谬 即使你正处在抑郁之中，你也知道这一切都很荒谬 你知道多数人都可以让自己 去听语音留言，去吃午餐 紧接着让自己冲个澡 然后出门 你知道这根本不是什么大不了的事情 然而你已经被它掌控 并且无法找到任何解决的方式 于是我开始感到自己事情做得越来越少 思考得越来越少 感知得越来越少 就好像整个人已经没什么价值了 03:21 And then the anxiety set in.If you told me that I'd have to be depressed for the next month, I would say, “As long I know it'll be over in November, I can do it.” But if you said to me, “You have to have acute anxiety for the next month,” I would rather slit my wrist than go through it.It was the feeling all the time like that feeling you have if you're walking and you slip or trip and the ground is rushing up at you, but instead of lasting half a second, the way that does, it lasted for six months.It's a sensation of being afraid all the time but not even knowing what it is that you're afraid of.And it was at that point that I began to think that it was just too painful to be alive, and that the only reason not to kill oneself was so as not to hurt other people.紧接着焦虑就来了 如果你告诉我 我会在接下来的一个月里一直抑郁 我会说，“只要一个月之后不抑郁了我就可以接受。” 但如果你告诉我 “你会在接下来的一个月里严重焦虑。” 那么我宁可割腕也不愿意忍受 这是一种持续的感觉 就好像你走在路上 滑倒了或者绊倒了 地面猛冲向你的感觉 但这种感觉不是半秒钟 而是持续6个月 这是一种时时刻刻感到惧怕 却不知道自己在惧怕什么的感觉 就在那时我开始想 活着太痛苦了 人不自杀的唯一原因 是因为不想伤害身边的人 04:08 And finally one day, I woke up and I thought perhaps I'd had a stroke, because I lay in bed completely frozen, looking at the telephone, thinking, “Something is wrong and I should call for help,” and I couldn't reach out my arm and pick up the phone and dial.And finally, after four full hours of my lying and staring at it, the phone rang, and somehow I managed to pick it up, and it was my father, and I said, “I'm in serious trouble.We need to do something.” 终于有一天，我醒来的时候 我觉得我可能中风了 因为我躺在床上整个人是完全僵硬的 我看着电话，心想 “不好了，我该打电话求助。” 但我没办法伸出手去 没有办法拿到电话来拨号 终于，在我躺在那盯着电话整整四小时之后 电话铃响了 我不记得自己怎么拿到的电话 是我父亲打来的 我说，“我现在遇到大麻烦了，我们必须做点什么。” 04:40 The next day I started with the medications and the therapy.And I also started reckoning with this terrible question: If I'm not the tough person who could have made it through a concentration camp, then who am I? And if I have to take medication, is that medication making me more fully myself, or is it making me someone else? And how do I feel about it if it's making me someone else? 第二天我开始吃药 开始接受治疗 与此同时我开始思考 一个可怕的问题 如果我不是那种坚强到 即使被送去集中营也可以存活下来的人 那么我是谁呢？ 如果我需要吃药的话 那么药物是让我变得更像自己 还是让我更不像自己？ 如果会让我变得像别人 那么我又如何感觉到这点呢？ 05:09 I had two advantages as I went into the fight.The first is that I knew that, objectively speaking, I had a nice life, and that if I could only get well, there was something at the other end that was worth living for.And the other was that I had access to good treatment.在这个抗争的过程中我有两个优势 首先是我很清楚，客观地说 我有一个不错的生活条件 如果我能好起来 那么最终是会有一些东西 值得我去为之而活的 另外一点就是我能接受好的治疗 05:25 But I nonetheless emerged and relapsed, and emerged and relapsed, and emerged and relapsed, and finally understood I would have to be on medication and in therapy forever.And I thought, “But is it a chemical problem or a psychological problem? And does it need a chemical cure or a philosophical cure?” And I couldn't figure out which it was.And then I understood that actually, we aren't advanced enough in either area for it to explain things fully.The chemical cure and the psychological cure both have a role to play, and I also figured out that depression was something that was braided so deep into us that there was no separating it from our character and personality.但我却不知为何,好转了又复发 又好转，又复发 再好转，再复发 最后我才意识到 我必须一辈子 依赖药物以及治疗 于是我想，“但这到底是一个化学问题 还是一个心理问题？ 这到底需要化学疗法还是心理疗法（原话为“哲学”）呢？” 我无法找到问题的答案 然后我明白了 事实上我们对这两个领域的了解都还不够 都还不足以完全弄清真相 化学治疗和心理治疗 都发挥着重要的作用 我也发现抑郁是这样一个东西 深深的嵌入在我们的体内 我们无法将它彻底剥离 它已经嵌入到我们的性格和个性中了 06:12 I want to say that the treatments we have for depression are appalling.They're not very effective.They're extremely costly.They come with innumerable side effects.They're a disaster.But I am so grateful that I live now and not 50 years ago, when there would have been almost nothing to be done.I hope that 50 years hence, people will hear about my treatments and be appalled that anyone endured such primitive science.我想说现在我们所用的 治疗抑郁症的方法太可怕了 这些方法没有什么效果 还非常昂贵 并且伴随着无数的副作用 它们简直就是灾难 但我很感激我活在当下 而不是50年前 那个时候还不存在 有效的方法 我希望50年后 人们听到我接受的治疗方法 会震惊于竟然有人愿意忍受 如此原始简单的科学 06:41 Depression is the flaw in love.If you were married to someone and thought, “Well, if my wife dies, I'll find another one,” it wouldn't be love as we know it.There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss, and that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.抑郁是爱的附属品 如果你跟一个人结婚了，然后想 “好吧，如果我的妻子去世了，我会找一个新的，” 那么据我们所知这不叫爱 没有这样一种爱情 可以只感受幸福而不体验失去 这种绝望的幽灵 会成为亲密关系的动力 07:07 There are three things people tend to confuse: depression, grief and sadness.Grief is explicitly reactive.If you have a loss and you feel incredibly unhappy, and then, six months later, you are still deeply sad, but you're functioning a little better, it's probably grief, and it will probably ultimately resolve itself in some measure.If you experience a catastrophic loss, and you feel terrible, and six months later you can barely function at all, then it's probably a depression that was triggered by the catastrophic circumstances.The trajectory tells us a great deal.People think of depression as being just sadness.It's much, much too much sadness, much too much grief at far too slight a cause.有三种东西是人们容易混淆的 抑郁，悲伤，难过 悲伤是一种明确的反应 如果你遭遇了不幸并感到极度不快乐 紧接着六个月以后 你还是非常难过，但是生活大致正常了 这很有可能是悲伤 而且它很有可能在最终 一定程度地自我恢复 如果你经历了一次灾难性的打击 然后感觉非常糟糕 并且六个月之后你依然无法正常生活 那么很有可能就是你的抑郁 被这种灾难性的情形触发了 这中变化的过程告诉我们很多信息 人们往往认为抑郁只是难过而已 只是太多太多的难过 太多的悲伤 起因却微不足道 07:56 As I set out to understand depression, and to interview people who had experienced it, I found that there were people who seemed, on the surface, to have what sounded like relatively mild depression who were nonetheless utterly disabled by it.And there were other people who had what sounded as they described it like terribly severe depression who nonetheless had good lives in the interstices between their depressive episodes.And I set out to find out what it is that causes some people to be more resilient than other people.What are the mechanisms that allow people to survive? And I went out and I interviewed person after person who was suffering with depression.当我开始着手了解抑郁 并且采访那些有过这样经历的人时 我发现有些人 从表面上看来 好像是比较轻微的抑郁 却已经因此彻底丧失行为能力了 另一些人 从他们的描述中得知他们 经历了非常严重的抑郁 他们却能够在抑郁发作的间隙 过着不错的生活 于是我开始研究 到底是什么 使一些人比另一些人能更好地适应 是什么样的机制 让这些人能够幸免？ 于是我去探访了一个又一个 经历过抑郁的人 08:37 One of the first people I interviewed described depression as a slower way of being dead, and that was a good thing for me to hear early on because it reminded me that that slow way of being dead can lead to actual deadness, that this is a serious business.It's the leading disability worldwide, and people die of it every day.我第一批采访的人中有一个人 把抑郁描述为 一种缓慢的死亡方式 这种说法最初在我听来是好的 因为这告诉我 缓慢的死亡方式 是会以真正的死亡结束的 这不是说着玩的 这是世界上导致机能障碍的主要原因之一 每天都有人因此死去 09:00 One of the people I talked to when I was trying to understand this was a beloved friend who I had known for many years, and who had had a psychotic episode in her freshman year of college, and then plummeted into a horrific depression.She had bipolar illness, or manic depression, as it was then known.And then she did very well for many years on lithium, and then eventually, she was taken off her lithium to see how she would do without it, and she had another psychosis, and then plunged into the worst depression that I had ever seen in which she sat in her parents' apartment, more or less catatonic, essentially without moving, day after day after day.And when I interviewed her about that experience some years later--she's a poet and psychotherapist named Maggie Robbins--when I interviewed her, she said, “I was singing 'Where Have All The Flowers Gone,' over and over, to occupy my mind.I was singing to blot out the things my mind was saying, which were, 'You are nothing.You are nobody.You don't even deserve to live.' And that was when I really started thinking about killing myself.” 在我试图了解这些的时候 其中一个我采访的人 是我的挚友 我们已经相识很多年了 她曾经在她大学入学的那一年 有过精神病发作 之后陷入了可怕的抑郁 她患有双相情感障碍 当时叫做躁郁症 她经过多年的化学治疗 病情控制得很好 于是后来，她尝试停止化学治疗 想看看能够独立的支撑下来 她却精神病复发 并且陷入了我所见过的 最严重的抑郁 她在父母的公寓里坐着 多少有些紧张症的样子，几乎一动不动 日复一日都是如此 当我几年之后采访她那段经历时 她叫玛吉·罗宾斯，诗人，精神治疗医师 当我采访她的时候她说 “我一遍一遍地唱着‘花儿去向何处’ 来占据我的头脑 来清除我头脑中不停重复的话语 ‘你一文不值，你这个无名小辈，你根本不配活在这世上。’ 那时候我真正开始 有了自杀的想法。” 10:14 You don't think in depression that you've put on a gray veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a bad mood.You think that the veil has been taken away, the veil of happiness, and that now you're seeing truly.It's easier to help schizophrenics who perceive that there's something foreign inside of them that needs to be exorcised, but it's difficult with depressives, because we believe we are seeing the truth.你没有意识到自己抑郁，但是 你已经戴上了一层灰色的面纱 并且是透过这层坏情绪的薄纱 来看待这个世界的 你认为是快乐的面纱 被摘掉了 这样你可以看得更加真实 相对而言帮助精神分裂症患者更容易 他们认为自己身体里面有某些异质 需要被驱除 但对于抑郁症患者来说这很难 因为我们坚信自己看到的是事实 10:42 But the truth lies.I became obsessed with that sentence: “But the truth lies.” And I discovered, as I talked to depressive people, that they have many delusional perceptions.People will say, “No one loves me.” And you say, “I love you, your wife loves you, your mother loves you.” You can answer that one pretty readily, at least for most people.But people who are depressed will also say, “No matter what we do, we're all just going to die in the end.” Or they'll say, “There can be no true communion between two human beings.Each of us is trapped in his own body.” To which you have to say, “That's true, but I think we should focus right now on what to have for breakfast.” 但事实是会说谎的 我非常喜欢这句话 “事实是会说谎的。” 当我与抑郁症患者交谈时我发现 他们有很多妄想出来的念头 人们会说，“没人爱我。” 然后你说，“我爱你，你的妻子爱你，你的母亲爱你。” 你可以很快给出这个答案 至少对大多数人是如此 但是抑郁的人还会说 “不论我们做什么，最终都是要死的。” 或者他们说，“两个人之间 是不可能有真正的亲密交往的，我们每个人都被自己的身体所束缚了。“ 对于这个你只有回应说 ”这点没错，但我觉得我们眼下要考虑的 是早上该吃什么。“ 11:23(Laughter)11:25 A lot of the time, what they are expressing is not illness, but insight, and one comes to think what's really extraordinary is that most of us know about those existential questions and they don't distract us very much.There was a study I particularly liked in which a group of depressed and a group of non-depressed people were asked to play a video game for an hour, and at the end of the hour, they were asked how many little monsters they thought they had killed.The depressive group was usually accurate to within about 10 percent, and the non-depressed people guessed between 15 and 20 times as many little monsters--（笑声）许多时候 困扰他们的不是疾病本身，而是对一些事实的偏执 他们会对一些事实超乎常人的在意 但是对于我们绝大多数人而言 并不在意这些有关存在的问题 我有一个特别喜欢的研究 是要一组抑郁症患者 和一组非抑郁症患者 分别打一小时的电子游戏 一小时结束的时候问他们 他们认为自己 杀了多少只小怪兽 抑郁组的答案往往准确 误差不超过百分之十 而非抑郁组的人 估计的小怪兽数量 却是实际杀掉的 15到20倍 12:02(Laughter)12:03 as they had actually killed.12:06 A lot of people said, when I chose to write about my depression, that it must be very difficult to be out of that closet, to have people know.They said, “Do people talk to you differently?” I said, “Yes, people talk to me differently.They talk to me differently insofar as they start telling me about their experience, or their sister's experience, or their friend's experience.Things are different because now I know that depression is the family secret that everyone has.当我决定写下自己的抑郁经历时，许多人说 要揭开这个秘密让别人知道 一定非常不容易 他们说，”人们会用不一样的口吻跟你说话吗？“ 我说，”是的，人们用不一样的口吻跟我说话。这种不一样体现在 人们会告诉我他们自己的经历 或是他们的兄弟姐妹的经历 或是他们朋友的经历 我现在明白，每个家庭 都埋藏着一个抑郁的故事 着改变了我的看法 12:34 I went a few years ago to a conference, and on Friday of the three-day conference, one of the participants took me aside, and she said, ”I suffer from depression and I'm a little embarrassed about it, but I've been taking this medication, and I just wanted to ask you what you think?“ And so I did my best to give her such advice as I could.And then she said, ”You know, my husband would never understand this.He's really the kind of guy to whom this wouldn't make any sense, so, you know, it's just between us.“ And I said, ”Yes, that's fine.“ On Sunday of the same conference, her husband took me aside, 几年前我去参加一个学术会议 连开三天，第一天是周五 一个与会者把我叫到一边，她说 “我有抑郁症 我为此有点难为情 而且我一直在吃某种药物 我只是想问问看你的意见？” 我但是尽我所能给了一些建议 之后她说，“其实，我的丈夫并不知道这件事情 他是那种无法理解这种事情的人 所以，嗯，我们的谈话能否保密。” 我说，“好，没有问题。” 周日开会的时候 她的丈夫把我叫到了一边13:13(Laughter)13:14 and he said, ”My wife wouldn't think that I was really much of a guy if she knew this, but I've been dealing with this depression and I'm taking some medication, and I wondered what you think?“ They were hiding the same medication in two different places in the same bedroom.And I said that I thought communication within the marriage might be triggering some of their problems.对我说，“我的妻子并不知道 我跟她了解的那个我之间的不同 我有抑郁症，有一段时间了 我现在需要吃一些药物维持 我想听听你的看法？” 他们两个人 服用同一种药物，并且将药物藏在 同一个卧室的不同的地方 于是我对他说 我觉得婚姻内部的沟通问题 可能是他抑郁的原因之一 13:41 But I was also struck by the burdensome nature of such mutual secrecy.Depression is so exhausting.It takes up so much of your time and energy, and silence about it, it really does make the depression worse.让我感到震惊的 是人们想要保守这样的秘密 并因此成熟的沉重负担 抑郁让人精疲力尽 它会消耗掉你几乎全部的时间和精力 而对此保持沉默 只会让抑郁的症状变得更加严重 13:56 And then I began thinking about all the ways people make themselves better.I'd started off as a medical conservative.I thought there were a few kinds of therapy that worked, it was clear what they were--there was medication, there were certain psychotherapies, there was possibly electroconvulsive treatment, and that everything else was nonsense.But then I discovered something.If you have brain cancer, and you say that standing on your head for 20 minutes every morning makes you feel better, it may make you feel better, but you still have brain cancer, and you'll still probably die from it.But if you say that you have depression, and standing on your head for 20 minutes every day makes you feel better, then it's worked, because depression is an illness of how you feel, and if you feel better, then you are effectively not depressed anymore.So I became much more tolerant of the vast world of alternative treatments.我开始考虑所有可能的途径 帮助抑郁的人们变得好一些 我在治疗方法上，一开始是很保守的 我觉得只有少数几种疗法是有效的 就那么几种—— 药物治疗 几类特定的精神疗法 电休克疗法有时候有效果 其它所有的方法都是扯淡 但是后来我的看法变了 如果你的脑子里长了肿瘤 然后你觉得自己每天早晨 倒立20分钟会让自己感觉好一些 或许让你自己感觉好一些 但是你的脑瘤还在那里 你还是可能因此死去 但是如果你患上了抑郁 然后你觉因为每天倒立20分钟 感觉好一些，那是有一定效果的 因为抑郁是你的感觉和情绪出了问题 如果你感觉好一些了 那么你的抑郁就会少一些 所以我现在变得非常的宽容 各种奇怪的偏门疗法我都能接受了 14:46 And I get letters, I get hundreds of letters from people writing to tell me about what's worked for them.Someone was asking me backstage today about meditation.My favorite of the letters that I got was the one that came from a woman who wrote and said that she had tried therapy, medication, she had tried pretty much everything, and she had found a solution and hoped I would tell the world, and that was making little things from yarn.She sent me some of them.And I'm not wearing them right now.I suggested to her that she also should look up obsessive compulsive disorder in the DSM.我收到了成百上千的邮件 人们写信跟我分享他们使用的治疗方法 就在刚才还有人在幕后问我 关于药物治疗的事情 有一封邮件提供的方法我很喜欢 是一位女士写给我的 她尝试过心理疗法，不管用 药物疗法，也不行，各种方法都尝试了，还是不行 最后她自己发现了一个方法，她希望我告诉全世界 她认为最好的疗法是用纱线做一些小制品（笑声）她还给我邮寄了一些（笑声）我现在没穿在身上 我建议她再去医院查查 看看有没有强迫症（译注：演讲者在开玩笑）

15:27 And yet, when I went to look at alternative treatments, I also gained perspective on other treatments.I went through a tribal exorcism in Senegal that involved a great deal of ram's blood and that I'm not going to detail right now, but a few years afterwards I was in Rwanda, working on a different project, and I happened to describe my experience to someone, and he said, ”Well, that's West Africa, and we're in East Africa, and our rituals are in some ways very different, but we do have some rituals that have something in common with what you're describing.“ And he said, ”But we've had a lot of trouble with Western mental health workers, especially the ones who came right after the genocide.“ I said, ”What kind of trouble did you have?“ And he said, ”Well, they would do this bizarre thing.They didn't take people out in the sunshine where you begin to feel better.They didn't include drumming or music to get people's blood going.They didn't involve the whole community.They didn't externalize the depression as an invasive spirit.Instead what they did was they took people one at a time into dingy little rooms and had them talk for an hour about bad things that had happened to them.“ He said, ”We had to ask them to leave the country.“ 当我去了解其它偏门疗法时 我也接触到了其它疗法的不同的视角 我研究过塞内加尔一个部落的净化仪式 他们在仪式中使用了大量的公羊血 这里我就不详细讲了 但是几年之后，当我去卢旺达 参与另一个项目时 我向一个当地人介绍了那个仪式 他说，“嗯，你知道 那是西非，我们这里是东非 我们的宗教仪式有一些不同的地方 但是我们也有一些地方是共通的（我们的方法）跟你描述的那种有些相似 然后我说，“哦”。他说，“是的”，然后他继续说道 但是西方世界跑过来的心理治疗师给我们添了不少麻烦 尤其是那些大屠杀之后跑来的心理医生们（译注：指1990年代卢旺达大屠杀）于是我问他，“什么麻烦？” 他说，“是这样的 他们做的事情很古怪 他们并不会让人去阳光下活动 虽然这会让人感觉舒服 他们不使用音乐或打鼓的方式激发人们的情绪 他们不会让整个社区参与其中 他们也没有将抑郁外显化为一种恶灵 进行驱逐 相反的，他们将那些（抑郁的）人单独地 带到一个昏暗的小房间 花一个小时 让他们回忆发生在他们身上的悲惨的事情。”（笑声）（掌声）他说，“我们只能请他们离开这个国家了。”（笑声）

16:41 Now at the other end of alternative treatments, let me tell you about Frank Russakoff.Frank Russakoff had the worst depression perhaps that I've ever seen in a man.He was constantly depressed.He was, when I met him, at a point at which every month, he would have electroshock treatment.Then he would feel sort of disoriented for a week.Then he would feel okay for a week.Then he would have a week of going downhill.And then he would have another electroshock treatment.And he said to me when I met him, ”It's unbearable to go through my weeks this way.I can't go on this way, and I've figured out how I'm going to end it if I don't get better.“ ”But,“ he said to me, ”I heard about a protocol at Mass General for a procedure called a cingulotomy, which is a brain surgery, and I think I'm going to give that a try.“ And I remember being amazed at that point to think that someone who clearly had so many bad experiences with so many different treatments still had buried in him, somewhere, enough optimism to reach out for one more.And he had the cingulotomy, and it was incredibly successful.现在，我想分享另外一种替代的疗法 弗兰克·若萨克夫接受了这种替代疗法 弗兰克的抑郁症可能是我见过的 最严重的抑郁症之一 他一直处于抑郁状态 当我刚见到他的时候 他每个月都要接受电休克治疗 所以他每个月第一周会被电的迷迷糊糊 第二周变得正常起来 第三周开始情绪又开始走下坡路 然后他就会寻求下一次电休克治疗 当我开始见到他的时候，他说 “这种（电休克的）周期对于我而言是无法避免的 我不能这么下去了 我知道如果我不能够变好起来 意味着什么 “但是”，他对我说，“我听说麻省总院最近在进行医疗实验，实验一种脑手术，叫扣带回切开术 我想我会去尝试一下。” 我至今都记得当时我听到后的惊喜的心情 想想这样一个人 经历了如此多的悲惨经历 忍受了那么多的治疗方法 骨子里依然有一种与生俱来的乐观 要去尝试新的东西 后来他做了扣带回切开术 出乎意料地成功

17:44 He's now a friend of mine.He has a lovely wife and two beautiful children.He wrote me a letter the Christmas after the surgery, and he said, ”My father sent me two presents this year, First, a motorized CD rack from The Sharper Image that I didn't really need, but I knew he was giving it to me to celebrate the fact that I'm living on my own and have a job I seem to love.And the other present was a photo of my grandmother, who committed suicide.As I unwrapped it, I began to cry, and my mother came over and said, 'Are you crying because of the relatives you never knew?' And I said, 'She had the same disease I have.' I'm crying now as I write to you.It's not that I'm so sad, but I get overwhelmed, I think, because I could have killed myself, but my parents kept me going, and so did the doctors, and I had the surgery.I'm alive and grateful.We live in the right time, even if it doesn't always feel like it.“ 他跟我现在成为了朋友 他有一个可爱的妻子和两个漂亮的小孩 那次手术的圣诞节后，他写了一封信给我 他说 “我的父亲今年寄给我两件礼物 一个是某个品牌的车载CD架 我不是很需要 但是我知道他是给我这个的目的 是想要庆祝一下，我可以重新开始 并且有了一份喜欢的工作 另外一件礼物 是我外婆的一张照片 她自杀了 当我拆开包装的时候，我开始哭泣 我的妈妈过来问道 ‘你哭是因为你从来没有见过外婆么？’ 我说，‘不，是因为她的痛苦，我同样经历过。’ 写这封信的现在，我又忍不住哭泣 不是因为悲伤，而是因为我再也无法承受 我想我曾经也可能会自杀 但是我的父母给了我勇气 还有治疗我的医生们 还有这个手术 我活着，心怀感恩 我们活在美好的时代 虽然有时候看起来很糟。” 18:46 I was struck by the fact that depression is broadly perceived to be a modern, Western, middle-class thing, and I went to look at how it operated in a variety of other contexts, and one of the things I was most interested in was depression among the indigent.And so I went out to try to look at what was being done for poor people with depression.And what I discovered is that poor people are mostly not being treated for depression.Depression is the result of a genetic vulnerability, which is presumably evenly distributed in the population, and triggering circumstances, which are likely to be more severe for people who are impoverished.And yet it turns out that if you have a really lovely life but feel miserable all the time, you think, ”Why do I feel like this? I must have depression.“ And you set out to find treatment for it.But if you have a perfectly awful life, and you feel miserable all the time, the way you feel is commensurate with your life, and it doesn't occur to you to think, ”Maybe this is treatable.“ 我很不能理解为什么 人们普遍的把抑郁症看成是 现代西方中产阶级特有的一种病 于是我开始寻找抑郁症 与其它社会因素的关联 在可能相关的社会因素中 我对贫困和抑郁的关系特别感兴趣 于是我做了一些研究 尝试去了解穷人是如何治疗抑郁的 我发现大多数情况下 穷人的抑郁症不会得到治疗 抑郁属于基因的缺陷 这意味着在不同的人群中容易抑郁的人的比例应该是一样的 生活环境的不同导致了发病率的不同 而当人们处于贫困的生活环境中时 抑郁症的发病率更高, 也更严重 但是, 如果你的生活一帆风顺 然后你觉得自己一直都不开心 你会反思, ”我为什么不开心?“ ”我一定是抑郁了.“ 然后你会去找医生给你治疗 但是如果你的生活本来就很糟糕 然后你一直都不开心 你的感觉和你的生活状态是相称的 于是你就不会想到这个是病 ”或许这个可以治疗一下“ 19:43 And so we have an epidemic in this country of depression among impoverished people that's not being picked up and that's not being treated and that's not being addressed, and it's a tragedy of a grand order.And so I found an academic who was doing a research project in slums outside of D.C., where she picked up women who had come in for other health problems and diagnosed them with depression, and then provided six months of the experimental protocol.One of them, Lolly, came in, and this is what she said the day she came in.She said, and she was a woman, by the way, who had seven children.She said, ”I used to have a job but I had to give it up because I couldn't go out of the house.I have nothing to say to my children.In the morning, I can't wait for them to leave, and then I climb in bed and pull the covers over my head, and three o'clock when they come home, it just comes so fast.“ She said, ”I've been taking a lot of Tylenol, anything I can take so that I can sleep more.My husband has been telling me I'm stupid, I'm ugly.I wish I could stop the pain.“ 所以实际上我们这个国家的低收入人群中 抑郁症像是传染病一样流行 但是却一直没有被人注意过, 没有人评估过患病的规模 也没有人为这些低收入者提供治疗 这是非常大的一个悲剧 后来我发现了一位研究人员 她当时正在华盛顿特区周边的贫民窟中 做与之相关的一项研究 当有妇女前来看其它的疾病时, 她会邀请这些妇女 做一个抑郁症的诊断 同时提供一份六个月的实验协议 其中有一位女士, 名叫洛莉 以下是她第一天到诊所来的自述 她说她是一位母亲 7个孩子的母亲, 她说, ”我曾经有一份工作, 但是不得不辞掉了“ ”因为我无法离开我的屋子“ 我一句话都不想跟我的孩子们说 早晨, 我迫不及待的让孩子们出门上学 然后立刻爬上床蒙头大睡 然后下午三点他们就陆续回家了 时间过得太快了 她说, ”我已经吃了很多的泰诺(一种止痛药)“ 以及其它所有能够让我多睡一会儿的东西 我的丈夫一直说我蠢, 说我令人讨厌 我真希望能够结束这痛苦 20:47 Well, she was brought into this experimental protocol, and when I interviewed her six months later, she had taken a job working in childcare for the U.S.Navy, she had left the abusive husband, and she said to me, ”My kids are so much happier now.“ She said, ”There's one room in my new place for the boys and one room for the girls, but at night, they're just all up on my bed, and we're doing homework all together and everything.One of them wants to be a preacher, one of them wants to be a firefighter, and one of the girls says she's going to be a lawyer.They don't cry like they used to, and they don't fight like they did.That's all I need now, is my kids.Things keep on changing, the way I dress, the way I feel, the way I act.I can go outside not being afraid anymore, and I don't think those bad feelings are coming back, and if it weren't for Dr.Miranda and that, I would still be at home with the covers pulled over my head, if I were still alive at all.I asked the Lord to send me an angel, and He heard my prayers.“ 然后她接受了实验协议开始进行治疗 六个月之后当我去采访她的时候 她有了一份新工作, 在美国海军(的幼儿园)照看孩子, 她离开了以前那个虐待她的丈夫 她对我说 我的孩子们现在比以前开心多了 她说, 现在我的新家有两个孩子的卧室 男孩子们一间, 女孩子们一间 到了晚上的时候, 他们都会来到我的房间 我们一直做家庭作业, 做其它的事情 一个儿子立志做一名牧师 另一个想要做消防队员 我的一个女儿想要做一名律师 他们不像以前那样哭得那么频繁 也不再像以前那样相互打来打去了 看着这些孩子, 我现在觉得很满足 一切都在不断的变好 我的穿着, 我的情绪, 我的言行 我不会再像以前那样害怕出门 也不会再担心糟糕的心情会卷土重来 如果没有米兰达医生(那位研究人员)的帮助 我现在可能还我在家里, 用被子蒙住头呼呼大睡 或许我已经死了 我曾祈祷上帝为我下凡一位天使 而上帝听到了我的声音.”(译注: 指米兰达博士)22:01 I was really moved by these experiences, and I decided that I wanted to write about them not only in a book I was working on, but also in an article, and I got a commission from The New York Times Magazine to write about depression among the indigent.我被这些真实的故事深深打动了 我之前计划只是写一本书来记录 但是现在我觉得远远不够 我还要写一篇文章(让更多的人知道)所以我跟纽约时报杂志说好 写一篇有关低收入群里中抑郁症的报告 22:14 And I turned in my story, and my editor called me and said, “We really can't publish this.” 当我写好之后 我的编辑打电话给我说 我们真的没办法发表这个 22:19 And I said, “Why not?” 然后我问, “为什么?” 22:20 And she said, “It just is too far-fetched.These people who are sort of at the very bottom rung of society and then they get a few months of treatment and they're virtually ready to run Morgan Stanley? It's just too implausible.” She said, “I've never even heard of anything like it.” 她说, “故事太牵强了” 这些人生活在接近社会底层的地方 然后他们经过了六个月的治疗 然后他们就可以去管理摩根史坦利了?(译注: 一家知名投资机构)太没有说服力了 她说, “我从来没有听过这样的事情” 22:35 And I said, “The fact that you've never heard of it is an indication that it is news.” 然后我说, “你从没有听说过” 恰恰说明这个是一个'新闻'(笑声)(掌声)而且你们是一家新闻媒体啊 22:40(Laughter)22:44(Applause)22:48 “And you are a news magazine.” 22:50 So after a certain amount of negotiation, they agreed to it.But I think a lot of what they said was connected in some strange way to this distaste that people still have for the idea of treatment, the notion that somehow if we went out and treated a lot of people in indigent communities, that would be exploitative, because we would be changing them.There is this false moral imperative that seems to be all around us, that treatment of depression, the medications and so on, are an artifice, and that it's not natural.And I think that's very misguided.It would be natural for people's teeth to fall out, but there is nobody militating against toothpaste, at least not in my circles.来回协商了几次之后 他们同意发表了 但是他们说的话让我想了很多 他们这种态度跟另外一个观点多少有点关系 即很多人还是反感 抑郁症需要治疗这个观点 好像这就意味着我们会开始 大规模的开始治疗低收入者 这将是一件带有剥削性质的事情 因为我们是在改造他们 看起来我们所有的人 都受到一种教条的影响 即治疗抑郁的疗法也好, 药物也好, 都是人造的产物 并不是自然的结果 我觉得这完全是使入歧途了 虽然人老了掉牙是很自然的时候 但是这并不影响任何人使用牙膏 至少我的周围没有 23:32 People then say, “But isn't depression part of what people are supposed to experience? Didn't we evolve to have depression? Isn't it part of your personality?” To which I would say, mood is adaptive.Being able to have sadness and fear and joy and pleasure and all of the other moods that we have, that's incredibly valuable.And major depression is something that happens when that system gets broken.It's maladaptive.人们可能会接着问, “那么, 抑郁本身 不应该是我们注定需要经历的一个过程么 难道抑郁不是我们的演化的结果么 难道这不是你个性的一部分么 对此我的看法是, 情绪是有适应性的 对于我们而言 能够感受喜怒哀乐 以及其它丰富的情感 意义重大 而当一个人总是抑郁的时候, 那一定是 他的情绪系统出问题了 不再能够适应环境了 23:59 People will come to me and say, ”I think, though, if I just stick it out for another year, I think I can just get through this.“ 有些人会跟我这样说, ”即便如此, 我想如果我自己再多熬一年“ 我就可以走出抑郁了 24:05 And I always say to them, ”You may get through it, but you'll never be 37 again.Life is short, and that's a whole year you're talking about giving up.Think it through.“ 对此我总是这样回答, ”或许你能够自己走出来, 但是失去的青春你再也找不回了 人生苦短, 你现在却在跟我说 要浪费一年的时间(自己挺过抑郁)你再想想 24:16 It's a strange poverty of the English language, and indeed of many other languages, that we use this same word, depression, to describe how a kid feels when it rains on his birthday, and to describe how somebody feels the minute before they commit suicide.关于抑郁这种情感, 英语中用来形容的词出奇地少 当然别的语言也多不到哪里去 我们用'depression'这一个单词(译注: 中文可以翻译成'沮丧'或'抑郁')即用来描述一个小孩子 生日那天下大雨的心情 也用来描述一个自杀者 自杀前一分钟的感觉 24:32 People say to me, “Well, is it continuous with normal sadness?” And I say, in a way it's continuous with normal sadness.There is a certain amount of continuity, but it's the same way there's continuity between having an iron fence outside your house that gets a little rust spot that you have to sand off and do a little repainting, and what happens if you leave the house for 100 years and it rusts through until it's only a pile of orange dust.And it's that orange dust spot, that orange dust problem, that's the one we're setting out to address.人们会问, “这是不是就是长时间的悲伤?” 某种意义上可以这么理解 悲伤和抑郁之间有一定的连续性 但是他们之间的连续性就像是 悲伤可以看成是你房子周围的铁栅栏 有一点生锈了 你需要用沙纸打磨一下重新喷漆 但是如果你的房子100年没有人住了 那么铁栅栏会锈蚀到只剩下 一堆黄锈 悲伤和抑郁的差别 就好比生了一点锈和锈蚀到什么都没有了 后者是我们要解决的问题 25:03 So now people say, “You take these happy pills, and do you feel happy?” And I don't.But I don't feel sad about having to eat lunch, and I don't feel sad about my answering machine, and I don't feel sad about taking a shower.I feel more, in fact, I think, because I can feel sadness without nullity.I feel sad about professional disappointments, about damaged relationships, about global warming.Those are the things that I feel sad about now.And I said to myself, well, what is the conclusion? How did those people who have better lives even with bigger depression manage to get through? What is the mechanism of resilience?

现在人们会问 你吃了这些快乐丸(指抗抑郁药), 你快乐么 不 但是我不会因为要吃饭而不开心 不会因为要回电话而不开心 不会因为要洗澡而感到不开心 事实上我觉得自己的感受比以前更多 因为我现在能够体会到悲伤, 但是不会感到虚无 我会因为工作上的不如意而悲伤 会因为破碎的爱情悲伤 会因为全球变暖而悲伤 这些是我当下能够体会到的悲伤 最后我问自己, “结论是什么呢?” 为什么有些人的生活条件更好 却需要去战胜更严重的抑郁? 又为什么我们能够康复? 25:45 And what I came up with over time was that the people who deny their experience, and say, “I was depressed a long time ago, I never want to think about it again, I'm not going to look at it and I'm just going to get on with my life,” ironically, those are the people who are most enslaved by what they have.Shutting out the depression strengthens it.While you hide from it, it grows.And the people who do better are the ones who are able to tolerate the fact that they have this condition.Those who can tolerate their depression are the ones who achieve resilience.我总是一次次地遇见 抑郁之后的康复者不愿意接受这段经历 他们会说, “我很久之前抑郁过, 我再也不想回忆那段时光了 我也不会再去分析它 我只希望继续自己当下的生活 讽刺的是, 恰恰是这些人 最容易被他们过往经历的纠缠不放 回避抑郁, 只会让它更凶猛 你越躲, 它越强 而另外一些人 他们承认并接纳自己有抑郁这个事实 他们表现得更好一些 能够接纳自己抑郁的人 最终会康复起来

26:19 So Frank Russakoff said to me, ”If I had a do-over, I suppose I wouldn't do it this way, but in a strange way, I'm grateful for what I've experienced.I'm glad to have been in the hospital 40 times.It taught me so much about love, and my relationship with my parents and my doctors has been so precious to me, and will be always.“ 弗兰克对我说 如果一切重新来过 那么我可能会换种处理方式 但是很奇怪地, 我很感激 感激我经历过的一切 我很高兴住了40次医院 这段经历让我深刻的理解了什么是爱 我的爱人, 我的父母, 以及我的医生 这对我而言都是巨大的恩赐, 过去是, 将来也是.26:41 And Maggie Robbins said, ”I used to volunteer in an AIDS clinic, and I would just talk and talk and talk, and the people I was dealing with weren't very responsive, and I thought, 'That's not very friendly or helpful of them.'“ 玛吉·罗宾斯说 我在艾滋诊所做过志愿者 我跟自己负责的病人 不断的说话, 但是 他们的反应并不积极, 然后我想 '是不是对他们来说这样不太友好, 或不管用.' 26:56(Laughter)26:57 ”And then I realized, I realized that they weren't going to do more than make those first few minutes of small talk.It was simply going to be an occasion where I didn't have AIDS and I wasn't dying, but could tolerate the fact that they did and they were.Our needs are our greatest assets.It turns out I've learned to give all the things I need.“ 后来我意识到 我意识到在第一次见面的简短聊天中 他们只要能够坐在那里就好 第一次的聊天实际上是一个机会 让他们认识到虽然我没有艾滋病, 我没有等待死亡, 但是我能够接受他们有艾滋病 并不断恶化的事实 我们的需求是我们最宝贵的财富 后来我学会了 如何尽我所能(去帮助他人)27:23 Valuing one's depression does not prevent a relapse, but it may make the prospect of relapse and even relapse itself easier to tolerate.The question is not so much of finding great meaning and deciding your depression has been very meaningful.It's of seeking that meaning and thinking, when it comes again, ”This will be hellish, but I will learn something from it.“ I have learned in my own depression how big an emotion can be, how it can be more real than facts, and I have found that that experience has allowed me to experience positive emotion in a more intense and more focused way.The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and these days, my life is vital, even on the days when I'm sad.I felt that funeral in my brain, and I sat next to the colossus at the edge of the world, and I have discovered something inside of myself that I would have to call a soul that I had never formulated until that day 20 years ago when hell came to pay me a surprise visit.28:37 I think that while I hated being depressed and would hate to be depressed again, I've found a way to love my depression.I love it because it has forced me to find and cling to joy.I love it because each day I decide, sometimes gamely, and sometimes against the moment's reason, to cleave to the reasons for living.And that, I think, is a highly privileged rapture.正视抑郁的价值 并不能保证不再复发 但是却能改变看待抑郁复发的态度 甚至会减弱抑郁复发的程度 我们要解决的问题 并不是要去找到伟大的意义和决策 让你的抑郁看起来意义非凡 而是要去寻找这样的意义 能够让你思考, 当抑郁卷土重来 ”这会向下地狱般痛苦, 但是我会受益良多 我从自己的抑郁中看到 情绪的作用能够如此之大 甚至能够盖过客观存在 而且我发现我的这段经历 让我能够更加强烈和专注的 去感受和体会积极向上的情绪 抑郁的反面不是快乐 而是活力 现在这段时间, 我的生活充满活力 即便我有时会悲伤, 也是如此 我看到自己的脑海中也进行着一场葬礼 我坐在世界的边缘 挨着一个巨人 我发现 身体里的一些东西 称为灵魂的东西 在20年前尚未真正的成型 直到地狱的使者突然出现 我想, 虽然我很厌恶抑郁时候的状态 也很厌恶抑郁旧病复发 我还是会寻到一种方法接受并爱抑郁的自己 我爱它, 因为他迫使我去寻找快乐 并牢牢抓住 我爱它, 因为它让我在生活中 牢牢抓住 让我活下去的理由, 虽然有时候也会不那么理性 虽然偶尔也会游戏人生 而这, 我想, 是非常值得高兴和赞赏的事情.

第二篇：丁辰灵：TED演讲的秘密

丁辰灵：TED演讲的秘密-纯干货

这两天丁哥忙，有上海的一位创业朋友微信留言找我，但超过48小时我就无法回复了。请这位朋友再发一次，请各位朋友理解，一般你们写的有价值的内容我能回则回，如果没回不妨再发一次！下面推荐网络上一名叫Jacky的人写的TED演讲的秘密这篇文章，很干货！

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下午花了两个小时把这本书的脑图做了下，写的乱七八糟，不过它的主线还是挺清楚的，两个大的部分。通过解析几百个TED演讲来发现里面的一些共性的东西，实用性很强，如果你真想做一个好的演讲来传播你的观点或者故事的话，可以按照这个流程来做，当然最关键的是你这个人有好的东西跟别人分享。内容是王道，如果你没有好的内容比如你的研究、你的经历，形式再怎么花哨，也不会有很好的效果的，所以想要登上这个舞台，“怎么说”不是先要考虑的问题，先要把自己的生活过的足够精彩。

下面两张是手写的mind map，用软件又做了一个。

手写版，第一部分，如何准备一场演讲

第二部分演讲技巧版，从调动情绪和善用工具两个角度来讲

这张是软件版的这个书的脉络。

中间是书名，红色的是第一部分，桔色的是第二部分

第一部分，演讲准备的这个内容

第二部分，演讲技巧的部分

下面是我的一些收获，作为笔记放在这里，以后在准备的时候可以稍微参考一下。其实自己在读TED的演讲的时候更多关注的也是内容，对于具体的演讲技巧也会有涉及，比如有一些眼前一亮的开场，也会下意识的用在自己的演讲中。

1、一场演讲一般从一下几个方面来构思，首先是确定主题，主题一般是先把自己所要讲的内容有一个定位，TED三个字母代表的是技术(Technology）、娱乐（Entertainment）、设计（Design),所有TED演讲人基本上可以划分为三个角色：教育者、娱乐者、变革推动者。你需要讨论一个你非常熟悉而又热爱的话题，比如我就可以来说读书或者旅游的事情；每场只专注于讨论一个话题，把一个话题说清楚了，让你的听众能够足够的聚焦，最后要注意要有一个行动导向，可以让听众立即去做的事情，比如：每天节约一张面纸或者晚上回去就给朋友打个电话；演讲者要把重心放在观众那，而不是自己。

2、接着就是讲稿的构思。一般有两种演讲者，讲故事和讲道理的，根据你的内容适当的选择，当然讲故事的会更加吸引人，TED上大部分也是讲故事的，每个故事对应一个论点，最后提出一个总的论点作为收尾。构思讲稿就是让你如何讲好一个故事，你会发现，同样的故事两个人说出来，它的效果是不同的，如何能够像Disney电影那样把一个故事讲的跌宕起伏，那么你的效果就达到了。构思时要有逻辑性，采用演绎推理的方法，一般的逻辑是：导论-三部分主体-结论，那么如何讲好故事呢？

3、编排故事的学问很大。你选的故事最好是”亲身经历“或者”亲自观察“，说从别人口里听到的故事不是不行，关键看你能不能讲好，但难度会更大些。亲身经历的故事来源可以是一堂课（如果时光可以倒退，你为自己上一堂课，你会选择什么内容？估计大部分是置业生涯规划的课）、决定性的时刻（给你的人生方向带来最大改变的决定性时刻？涉及到这样的情绪：失去、痛苦、恐惧、失败等）、克服弱点（是哪些早起的弱点让你找到激情的？），这三个方向可以让你讲出一个至少你自己非常熟悉并且愿意分享的故事。

4、对应电影的拍摄方法，采用“英雄之旅”的方法来说一个故事。正常世界——冒险召唤——拒斥召唤——见导师——越过第一道边界——冒险、伙伴、敌人——接近最深的洞天——磨难——报酬——返回的路——复活——携万能灵药回归。其中的一些环节可以根据具体内容和演讲时间省略，但总体的故事要这样讲才能够吸引人。就像电影和戏剧里的一些手法，有很多电影书籍会教你怎么样拍一部80~120分钟的电影，在每个场景中要借助“时间、地点和氛围”来进行情景设定。

5、故事准备好了之后，就是要把握关键了。你需要把你的内容变成口号、要有一个吸引人的开场、要合理的过渡、清晰的中心思想的结尾。用3~12个词把你的中心内容表示出来，以行动为中心，并且最好富有韵律，在这个演讲中最好重复3次。开场的问题我们已经说了很多次了，你还可以用一下几个方法开场：有针对性的故事开场、震撼人心的事实介绍、有影响力的故事开场；尽可能避免观众参与式的开场，会很冷；糟糕的开场很多：

不要引用一个你未曾谋面的名人的话——即便和内容相关，也只是陈词滥调。

不要用笑话开场，原因同上。

不要用如何可能对观众造成哪怕只是轻微冒犯的内容开场。

不要用“感谢你...”开场——如果你想感谢观众，把它放在最后。

不要用“在我开始......之前”开场——既然你已经来了，就不必这么讲了。

第三篇：世上最好的演讲：TED演讲吸引人的秘密

Why TED talks are better than the last speech you sat through

世上最好的演讲：TED演讲吸引人的秘密

Think about the last time you heard someone give a speech, or any formal presentation.Maybe it was so long that you were either overwhelmed with data, or you just tuned the speaker out.If PowerPoint was involved, each slide was probably loaded with at least 40 words or figures, and odds are that you don't remember more than a tiny bit of what they were supposed to show.回想一下你上次聆听某人发表演讲或任何正式陈述的情形。它也许太长了，以至于你被各种数据搞得头昏脑胀，甚或干脆不理会演讲者。如果演讲者使用了PPT文档，那么每张幻灯片很可能塞入了至少40个单词或数字，但你现在或许只记得一丁点内容。

Pretty uninspiring, huh? Talk Like TED: 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of The World's Best Mindsexamines why in prose that's as lively and appealing as, well, a TED talk.Timed to coincide with the 30th anniversary in March of those now-legendary TED conferences, the book draws on current brain science to explain what wins over, and fires up, an audience--and what doesn't.Author Carmine Gallo also studied more than 500 of the most popular TED speeches(there have been about 1,500 so far)and interviewed scores of the people who gave them.相当平淡，是吧？《像TED那样演讲：全球顶级人才九大演讲秘诀》(Talk Like TED: 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of The World's Best Minds)一书以流畅的文笔审视了为什么TED演讲如此生动，如此引人入胜。出版方有意安排在今年3月份发行此书，以庆贺如今已成为经典的TED大会成立30周年。这部著作借鉴

当代脑科学解释了什么样的演讲能够说服听众、鼓舞听众，什么样的演讲无法产生这种效果。

Much of what he found out is surprising.Consider, for instance, the fact that each TED talk is limited to 18 minutes.That might sound too short to convey much.Yet TED curator Chris Anderson imposed the time limit, he told Gallo, because it's “long enough to be serious and short enough to hold people's attention...By forcing speakers who are used to going on for 45 minutes to bring it down to 18, you get them to think about what they really want to say.” It's also the perfect length if you want your message to go viral, Anderson says.他挖出了不少令人吃惊的演讲策略。例如，每场TED演讲都被限制在18分钟以内。听起来太过短暂，似乎无法传达足够多讯息。然而，TED大会策办人克里斯•安德森决议推行这项时间限制规则，因为“这个时间长度足够庄重，同时又足够短，能够吸引人们的注意力。通过迫使那些习惯于滔滔不绝讲上45分钟的嘉宾把演讲时间压缩至18分钟，你就可以让他们认真思考他们真正想说的话，”他对加洛说。此外，安德森说，如果你希望你的讯息像病毒般扩散，这也是一个完美的时间长度。

Recent neuroscience shows why the time limit works so well: People listening to a presentation are storing data for retrieval in the future, and too much information leads to “cognitive overload,” which gives rise to elevated levels of anxiety--meaning that, if you go on and on, your audience will start to resist you.Even worse, they won't recall a single point you were trying to make.最近的神经科学研究说明了为什么这项时间限制产生如此好的效果：聆听陈述的人们往往会存储相关数据，以备未来检索之用，而太多的信息会导致“认知超负荷”，进而推升听众的焦虑度。它意味着，如果你说个没完没了，听众就会开始抗拒你。更糟糕的是，他们不会记得你努力希望传递的信息点，甚至可能一个都记不住。

“Albert Einstein once said, 'If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough,'” Gallo writes, adding that the physicist would have applauded astronomer David Christian who, at TED in 2011, narrated the complete history of the universe--and Earth's place in it--in 17 minutes and 40 seconds.“爱因斯坦曾经说过，‘要是你不能言简意赅地解释某种理论，那就说明你自己都还没有理解透彻，’”加罗写道。他还举例说，物理学家或许会大加赞赏天文学家大卫•克里斯蒂安在2011年TED大会上发表的演讲。克里斯蒂安在这个演讲中完整地讲述了宇宙史及地球在宇宙的地位，整场演讲用时只有17分40秒。Gallo offers some tips on how to boil a complex presentation down to 18 minutes or so, including what he calls the “rule of three,” or condensing a plethora of ideas into three main points, as many top TED talkers do.He also notes that, even if a speech just can't be squeezed down that far, the effort alone is bound to improve it: “Your presentation will be far more creative and impactful simply by going through the exercise.”

如何把一个复杂的陈述压缩至18分钟左右？加洛就这个问题提供了一些小建议，其中包括他所称的“三的法则”。具体说就是，把大量观点高度浓缩为三大要点。TED大会上的许多演讲高手就是这样做的。他还指出，即使一篇演讲无法提炼到这样的程度，单是这番努力也一定能改善演讲的效果：“仅仅通过这番提炼，你就可以大大增强陈述的创造性和影响力。”

Then there's PowerPoint.“TED represents the end of PowerPoint as we know it,” writes Gallo.He hastens to add that there's nothing wrong with PowerPoint as a tool, but that most speakers unwittingly make it work against them by cluttering up their slides with way too many words(40, on average)and numbers.另一个建议与PPT文档有关。“TED大会象征着我们所知的PPT文档正走向终结，”加洛写道。他随后又马上补充说，作为工具的PowerPoint本身并没有什么错，但大多数演讲者为他们的幻灯片塞进了太多的单词（平均40个）和数字，让这种工具不经意间带来了消极影响。

The remedy for that, based on the most riveting TED talks: If you must use slides, fill them with a lot more images.Once again, research backs this up, with something academics call the Picture Superiority Effect: Three days after hearing or reading a set of facts, most people will remember about 10% of the information.Add a photo or a drawing, and recall jumps to 65%.最吸引人的TED演讲为我们提供了一个补救策略：如果你必须使用幻灯片，务必记得要大量运用图像资源。这种做法同样有科学依据，它就是研究人员所称的“图优效应”(Picture Superiority Effect)：听到或读到一组事实三天后，大多数人会记得大约10%的信息。而添加一张照片或图片后，记忆率将跃升至65%。One study, by molecular biologist John Medina at the University of Washington School of Medicine, found that not only could people recall more than 2,500 pictures with at least 90% accuracy several days later, but accuracy a whole year afterward was still at about 63%.华盛顿大学医学院(University of Washington School of Medicine)分子生物学家约翰•梅迪纳主持的研究发现，几天后，人们能够回想起超过2,500张图片，准确率至少达到90%；一年后的准确率依然保持在63%左右。

That result “demolishes” print and speech, both of which were tested on the same group of subjects, Medina's study indicated, which is something worth bearing in mind for anybody hoping that his or her ideas will be remembered.梅迪纳的研究表明，这个结果“完胜”印刷品和演讲的记忆效果（由同一组受试者测试）。任何一位希望自己的思想被听众铭记在心的演讲者或许都应该记住这一点。

第四篇：Ted演讲

私有制：中国经济奇迹的真正源泉

甚至连许多西方经济学家都认为,中国已经找到了主要依靠国家财政与控制的繁荣之路。但是，他们大错特错了。

2009年3月 • 黄亚生

美国式资本主义的可信性是全球金融危机中最早的牺牲品之一。随着雷曼兄弟银行的破产倒闭，全世界的权威评论家一窝蜂地唱衰美国经济理念——有限政府、最小限度的监管和对信贷的自由市场分配等。在考虑以何种模式取代没落的美国模式时，有些人把目光转向了中国。在中国，市场受到严格的监管，而金融机构则由国家控制。在经历了华尔街的溃败后，焦躁不安的弗朗西斯•福山在《新闻周刊》（Newsweek）上撰文指出，中国式的国家资本主义“看起来越来越有吸引力了。”《华盛顿邮报》（Washington Post）的专栏作家大卫•伊格内修斯为基于孔子思想的“新干预主义”在全球的出现而高声欢呼；伊格内修斯引用理查德•尼克松间接称颂经济学家凯恩斯（John Maynard Keynes）的话说：“现在我们都中国化了。”

但是，在宣布新的中国世纪的曙光到来之前，全球的领导人和高管们需要好好再想一想，中国活力的源泉到底是什么。说到中国经济奇迹产生的原因，获得广泛认可的看法——那是专家治国论的胜利，共产党依靠国家控制的企业实现了向市场经济的逐步转型——从各个重要方面来讲都错了。这种标准的看法认为，企业家精神、私有财产权、金融自由化和政治改革对中国的经济奇迹只发挥了很小的作用。但是，基于对中国政府的调查数据和中央及地方政府文件的详细分析，我的研究结论是，财产权和私营企业是高速增长和贫困水平降低最主要的激励因素。

我们经常读到这样的文章，认为渐进主义是中国成功地从马克思主义转型到市场经济的关键因素；许多文章称赞北京摒弃了俄罗斯式的休克疗法，采用更加务实的方法，创建了良好的商业环境，让私营企业有机地发展。这种观点认为，通过在上世纪80年代首先进行小范围改革，中国经济发展的自由度和市场导向水平逐渐提高，并在90年代后期积蓄了发展动力。但事实并非如此。实际发生的情况是，上世纪80年代进行的金融自由化和私营企业的早期地方性试验，催生了乡镇企业最初的蓬勃发展。正是这些早期的收获——而并非国家主导的大规模基础设施投资和90年代的城市化——为中国奇迹奠定了真正的基础。尽管有许多专家将中国宏大的基础设施项目和利用外国资金建设的崭新工厂与印度破败不堪的公路和微不足道的外国直接投资流进行比较，但这种观点夸大了公共开支和外国投资对中国发展的贡献。直到上世纪90年代后期以前，这两种因素在中国的影响力所占比重都不大——它们的出现比80年代宽松的金融控制和最初的乡镇企业发展大潮要晚得多。在上世纪80年代，中国经济的发展要比90年代快得多，并且产生了更好的社会效益：贫困人口下降，贫富差距缩小，而且劳动力在GDP中所占份额——衡量从经济发展中人均获益的指标——显著上升。从1978年到1988年，生活水平低于中国贫困线的农村人口减少了1.5亿以上。而在90年代，尽管GDP几乎都达到了两位数增长，并且实施了大规模的基础设施建设，但贫困人口数量却只下降了6,000万。此外，在80年代，中国经济增长主要靠投资而不是消费驱动的程度远不像今天这样严重。

换句话说，企业资本主义与国家资本主义不同，它不仅带来了增长，而且还对增长所带来的利益进行了广泛的分配。企业主义（Entrepreneurialism）既充满活力，又符合社会道德。

西方媒体总爱把像北京、上海和深圳这样的大城市称颂为生机勃勃的发展中心（见图表）。而中国的农村地区，即使被提到，也通常被形容为贫困的穷乡僻壤。但是，只要对经济数据进行仔细分析，就会发现，对中国现代化城市高楼大厦的这些令人震撼的描述完全是一种误导：事实上，中国的农村才具有最大的经济活力，而政府的强势干预已经窒息了中心城市的企业家精神和所有权。

后一种观点的重要性无论怎样强调都不过分。中国资本主义的发展历史事实上大部分都可以被描述为两个中国的斗争：由市场推动的、富有企业家精神的农村与由国家主导的城市之间的斗争。无论何时何地，只要中国农村占据优势地位，中国的资本主义就是企业式的、独立于政治的，并且是充满竞争活力的。无论何时何地，只要中国城市占据主导地位，中国的资本主义就会朝着依赖于政治和国家集权的方向发展。

上海是中国城市发展最显著的象征，其现代化的摩天大楼、外国奢侈品商店和全国最高的人均GDP使其成为中国的模范城市——一个国家资本主义获得成功的最好例证。事实果真如此吗？采用更具有实际意义的经济成就指标来衡量，上海的发展远不及温州。温州是位于上海南边数百英里以外一个浙江省的城市，这里是企业资本主义的一片乐土。上世纪80年代初期，使温州闻名于世的仅仅是它那勤劳的农民。当时，在温州的500万居民中，城市人口还不到10%。如今，温州是中国最具活力的城市，其数量众多的企业主宰着欧洲的服装市场。而相比之下，曾经是中国最早的实业家乐园的上海，如今却很少涌现出本土企业家。

温州的转型几乎完全是靠自由市场政策来实现的。早在1982年，当地官员就开始试行民间借贷、自由利率、存贷款机构的跨地区竞争，以及向私营企业提供贷款等。温州市政府还大力保护私营企业家的财产权，并从其他诸多方面使城市更有利于企业的发展。

本土企业为民生福祉带来了什么变化吗？非常多。按人均GDP计，上海几乎是温州所在的浙江省的两倍（难以获得温州人均GDP的详细数据）。但是，如果衡量家庭收入——一般居民的实际的支出能力——这两个地区的繁荣程度就旗鼓相当了。2006年，一个典型上海居民的家庭收入比一个典型浙江居民的家庭收入高13%，但上海居民的非工薪收入水平（如政府福利）却几乎是浙江居民的两倍。两地居民的平均劳动收入大体相当。平均来看，上海居民从经营企业中获得的收入比浙江居民低44%，而从所拥有的资产中获得的收入则要低34%。这就意味着：国家资本主义可以提高城市高楼大厦的楼高和GDP的统计数据，但并未提升居民的实际生活水平。

如果研究一下浙江省与其北部近邻江苏省的经济状况，这种对比就会更加清晰。这两个省份可以进行近乎完美的比较。它们的地理条件差不多相同：都是沿海省份，江苏位于上海北面，而浙江位于上海南面。它们还拥有相似的企业发展历史：都对解放前上海的实业家

和企业家阶层做出过重大贡献。然而，在改革以后的若干年里，江苏省吸引了外国投资并从公共建设工程开支中受益颇多，而浙江省却不然。这种差异产生了令人吃惊的结果。

20年前，江苏省比浙江省更为富庶，但如今却比浙江穷，在每一项重要的经济和社会福利指标上都落后于浙江。平均来看，浙江居民的资产性收入要大大高于其北方邻省的居民，他们居住的房子更大，拥有电话、计算机、彩电、相机或汽车的比例更高。浙江的婴儿死亡率更低，浙江人的平均预期寿命更长，识字率也更高。值得注意的是，浙江的收入不平等程度也远远低于江苏。应该如何解释浙江更胜一筹的繁荣呢？最令人信服的解释是，在江苏，政府对经济干预过多，歧视本地企业而青睐外国资本；而浙江的官员则让本土企业家拥有自由支配权，允许他们构建更大、更富有活力的本地供应链。

中国经济奇迹的真正难解之处并不是其经济如何发展，而是西方专家为何对其发展历程的理解错误百出。一个原因是，这些外来旁观者误解了构成中国经济体系最基本的元素之一——乡镇企业——的性质。一些西方最知名的经济学家将乡镇企业称为具有中国特色——具有创新意义的混合体，在政府的控制下实现了高速增长——的资本主义象征。例如，诺贝尔奖得主约瑟夫•斯蒂格里兹就称赞乡镇企业为从社会主义到资本主义转型时最常见的问题——私人投资者的资产剥离——提供了具有独创性的解决方案1他认为，这些企业既具有公有制的形式，可以避免被掠夺，同时又能实现私营企业的高效率。

简而言之，西方经济学家常常认为乡镇企业归乡镇政府所有。就在2005年，另一位诺贝尔奖得主道格拉斯•罗斯在《华尔街日报》上撰文指出，乡镇企业“与经济学中的标准企业很少有相似之处” 2。但有证据表明，情况并非如此。在中国国务院1984年3月1日发布的一份政策性文件中，第一次正式提到了乡镇企业的名称。该文件将它们定义为“由乡镇主办的企业、由农民组成的联合企业、其他联合企业和个体企业。”“由乡镇主办的企业”一词指的是归乡镇所有并管理的集体企业。该政策文件中提到的所有其他企业均为私营企业：个人所有的企业或有多个股东的较大型企业——都是严格意义上的“经济学中的标准企业”。官方对“乡镇企业”一词的使用具有非常显著的一致性：它一直是既包括私营企业，也包括政府主办的企业。

西方经济学家之所以会犯错误，是因为他们认定该名称涉及到所有制。但中国官方却从地理含义上去理解它——位于乡镇的企业。中国农业部的记录证明，私人拥有并管理的企业实体在乡镇企业中占绝大部分。在1985年到2002年期间，集体所有制企业的数量于1986年达到顶峰，为173万家，而私营企业的数量却迅猛增长，从大约1050万家增加到超过2,000万家。换句话说，在改革时期，乡镇企业数量的增长完全归功于私营企业。到1990年，在改革的头10年中，此类私营企业雇用的劳动力数量占到了乡镇企业雇用劳动力总数的50%，而税后利润则占到了58%。

对中国发展的真正源泉的思想混乱也搅乱了外国人对中国企业出现在国际市场上的理解认知。人们常说，中国为全球竞争带来了新的企业模式，国家所有制与明智的运用政府对金融的控制相结合，创造了独一无二的竞争力源泉。计算机制造商联想公司就经常被赞颂为中国非传统商业环境中的一个杰作。

但是，联想的成功大部分要归功于其早期便在香港注册并在香港募集资本的能力，而香港被认为是世界上最自由的市场经济。1984年，联想公司从中国科学院获得了第一笔启

动资金，但其后所有重大投资的资金均来自于香港3。1988年，该公司从总部位于香港的中国技术公司获得了90万港币（11.6万美元）的投资，成立了合资公司，使联想能够将香港作为其法定的公司所在地。1993年，香港联想公司在香港证券交易所首次公开上市，集资1,200万美元。联想公司是香港基于市场的金融与法律体系的成功故事，而并非中国由国家控制的金融体系的成功案例。

当中国在汲取华尔街崩溃的教训，并准备应对全球经济低迷之时，它可能做的最糟糕的事情莫过于去接受它已经发现了比自由市场更高效的发展模式的说法。中国经济奇迹的真正经验其实非常传统——基于私有制和自由市场金融。中国的经验为全世界提供了非常及时的提示：旨在鼓励这些力量发展的改革的确奏效。

作者简介：

黄亚生，麻省理工学院Sloan管理学院副教授，从事政治经济学的教学工作，创建并管理麻省理工学院的中国和印度实验室，该实验室旨在帮助本土企业家提高管理技能。本文摘自其《具有中国特色的资本主义：企业精神与国家》（Capitalism with Chinese Characteristics: Entrepreneurship and the State）一书。

第五篇：Ted演讲

Tony Porter 谈对男性的呼吁

关于这场演讲

在TEDWomen，Tony Porter对全世界男性发出呼吁，别太“大男子主义”。他讲述了自己切身经历，阐述了为何这种在多数男性身上根深蒂固的观念，会致使男性对女性，以及对彼此发生不尊重、虐待和伤害。他提出解决办法：打破陈规，从“男子汉标准”中解放。

关于Tony Porter

Tony Porter是教育家和活动者，他为消除对女性暴力侵害所作的努力受到国际认可。

为何要听他演讲：

Tony Porter是非盈利组织“对男性的呼吁：终止对女性暴力侵害组织”的策划者和共同创始人。Porter的参与和自我检查的要点，与许多家庭暴力和性暴力项目紧密相联，施行于一些知名组织，如全国橄榄球联盟和全国职业篮球联赛，以及全国各地高校，包括美国西点军校和安纳波利斯美国海军学院。Porter还是美国国务院国际讲师，在刚果民主共和国做过大量工作。

他是酒精与药物成瘾研究机构纽约办公室的教员，在此，他参与编著了针对美国黑人化学品依赖的临床课程。他还为社会服务组织开发社会公正模型。

“Ted Bunch和Tony Porter就男性有责任终止对女性的暴力侵害，以精彩的亲身经历分享他们的观点，他们提出更正人们心中的男子汉标准，就是解决办法之

一。两人通过自己的人生经历，来说明家庭暴力问题，其实是公民权利问题。” —摘自My Sister's Place网站

Tony Porter的英语网上资料

首页：acalltomen.com

[TED科技‧娱乐‧设计]

已有中译字幕的TED影片目录（繁体）（简体）。请注意繁简目录是不一样的。

Tony Porter 谈对男性的呼吁

我在纽约长大，位于哈莱姆区跟布朗克斯区之间。作为男孩子，大人教给我们，男人必须要坚决，要强壮，要勇敢，要强硬；不许痛苦，不许表露情感，愤怒除外。当然，也不能畏缩。男性负责，也就是说女性不用。男性引路，你们只要跟着照做就好。男性高一等，女性低一等。男性强大，女性弱小。女性价值不大，是男性的所有物，是物品。更确切说，是性对象。后来我知道，那是男性的社会形象标准，或称其为“男子汉的标准”。看看这里面都有什么，所有关于如何做

才够男人的定义。我还想说，毫无疑问，作为男人，有很多美好的事情，非常美好。但与此同时，有些东西实在非常纠结。我们确实需要开始质疑它，审视它，并对我们所熟知的男子汉标准进行拆析和重定义。

这是我的两个孩子，Kendall和Jay，一个11岁，一个12岁。Kendall比Jay大15个月。有段时间我的妻子，她叫Tammie，还有我，我们非常忙，叮，咚，当，Kendall和Jay诞生了。（笑声）当他们长到五六岁，四五岁时，Jay可以过来，哭着跑过来。至于她为什么哭没有关系，她可以趴在我的膝盖上，拿我的袖子擦鼻涕。哭吧，大声哭，爸爸在呢，就是这样。

另一方面，如果Kendall，如我所说，他只比妹妹大15个月，他哭着跑过来，或是只要我听到他的哭声，就要拉警报了。我会给他大约30秒的时间，也就是说，等他到我跟前，我就会说，“你哭什么哭？抬起头来，看着我，告诉我怎么了？告诉我怎么了？我不能理解，你为什么哭？”由于自己的失职，我有责任和义务把他教育成一个男人，让他符合这些男子汉标准中的条条框框。我发现我会这么说，“回你的房间去。回去，回你的房间。坐下，振作一下，再回来跟我说话，当你可以像...” 像什么？（观众：男人）“像男人一样。”他才五岁。当我这么做的时候，我会对自己说，“天呢，我是怎么了？我在做什么？我为什么要这样？”回想一下，我想到了我父亲。

有一段时间，我们家发生了一次很痛苦的经历。我哥哥，Henry，当我们十几岁的时候，他死于不幸。如我所说，我们住在纽约，当时我们住在布朗克斯区。葬礼在一个叫长岛的地方举行，距市区有两小时车程。当我们准备从墓地返回时，车子停在洗手间旁，让大家在长途返回之前下车方便一下。随后人们都下车了，我母亲，我姐姐，我姑姑，她们都出去了，只有我爸爸和我留在车里。女人们离

开不久，他便放声大哭。他不想在我面前哭，但他知道，回去的路上他会忍不住的。在我面前哭，要比在有女性的场合下哭的好。这个男人，在10分钟之前，刚刚把他年幼的儿子亲手埋葬。这种痛苦是我无法想象的。我印象最深的是，他为在我面前哭而向我道歉。同时，他还给我鼓励，把我举起来，因为我没哭。

我重新审视这件事。作为男人，我们会害怕，这种害怕让我们瘫痪，让我们成为男子汉的标准的奴隶。我还记得跟一个12岁男孩的对话，他是足球选手。我问他，我说，“如果当着所有队员的面，教练说你踢球像个女孩，你会怎么样？”我本以为他会说，我会很伤心，很愤怒，很生气之类的。但不，男孩这么跟我说，男孩说，“这会把我毁掉。”于是我自问，“天呢，如果被称作女孩就会把他毁掉，那么关于女孩，我们都教给他些什么？”

（掌声）

这把我带回了我的12岁那年。我在市区的廉租公寓长大，那时我们住在布朗克斯区。一个叫Johnny的家伙住在我家附近，他当时16岁左右，我们都12岁左右，比较小。他总是跟我们这些小孩呆在一起。这个家伙，他经常不干好事。他让很多家长感到奇怪，“这个16岁孩子，在一群12岁孩子中做什么？”他也确实不做好事。他是个问题少年，母亲因海洛因摄入过量而死，奶奶把他养大，父亲不管他。他奶奶有两份工作，他经常独自在家。我说过，我们都是小孩，得仰望这个大哥哥。他很酷，他很好。这是那些小妹妹说的，“他很好。”他做过爱，我们都仰望他。

一天，我出门玩，就在周围玩，我记不得在玩什么。他在窗口，叫我上去。他说，“嘿，Anthony。”小时候他叫我Anthony。“嘿，Anthony，快上来。”Johnny

叫我，我就去。我跑上楼。他打开门后，对我说，“你想要吗？”我立刻明白了他的意思。因为在我们长大的那个年代，根据当时的男子汉标准，“你想要吗”只有两层意思，不是性就是毒品。而我们不吸毒。我的准则，我的男子汉准则，立刻受到威胁。有两点：一，我没做过爱。男人之间不讨论这个。你只会告诉最亲密的朋友，让他发誓保密，跟他讲你的第一次。而对其他人，则会说我两岁就开始做爱了，没什么第一次可言。（笑声）另一点我不能说的是，我不想要。这样更糟。我们应该时刻窥伺，女性只是物品，确切说，是性对象。总之，这些我都不能说。所以，就如我母亲所言，长话短说，我只是对Johnny说，“好。”他让我到他房间里。我进去了，躺在床上的是个叫Sheila的邻居女孩，她16岁，全身赤裸。现在来看，她有心理疾病，有时会比其他人更自闭。我们给她取了很多不好的绰号。总之，Johnny刚跟她做完爱。其实，他强奸了她，但他会说是做爱。因为，当时Sheila没有说“不”，她也没说“是”。

因此他给我机会也这样做。于是我走进去，关上门。各位，我呆住了。我依门而立，这样Johnny不能破门而入，发现我什么都没干。我站了好长一会，长到足够我干点什么了。现在，我想的不是要做什么，而是要怎么出去。我只有12岁，但很聪明。我把裤拉链拉下来，走进客厅。我看到的是，当我和Sheila在房间里时，Johnny到窗边招呼别人上来，所以现在满屋子都是人，就像医生的候诊室。他们问我感觉如何，我对他们说，“感觉不错。”然后在他们面前拉上裤拉链，走出门去。

我是带着愧疚说出这段的。当时我也带着极大的愧疚感，但我很矛盾。因为我感到愧疚的同时，又感到兴奋，我没被抓住。而对发生的一切，我觉得糟糕。这种害怕脱离了男子汉的标准，完全包住了我。对我来说，我和我的男子汉标准，曾经比Sheila和她的遭遇更重要。总的来说，我们作为男人，被教育说女性价值

不大，把她们看做所有物，看做男人的性对象，这就形成一个等式，等号右边是对女性的暴力侵害。我们作为男人，作为好男人，就如大多数的男人，我们所做的事，都是在这个社会形象标准下进行。我们以为自己不在此列，但其实我们正是其中之一。看到了吗，我们必须明白，这类价值不大，所有物，性对象的观念，致使暴力现象频频发生。因此解决办法就在我们身上，同时问题也在我们身上。疾病控制中心说过，男性对女性的暴力现象，已达到流行病的普遍程度，是女性的最大健康隐忧。国内如此，国外亦如此。

所以我再简单说几句。这是我生命中的挚爱，我女儿Jay，我希望她的世界里，我会希望男性如何对待女性？我需要你们与我一道，共同努力。你我共同合作，致力于如何培养我们的儿子，教导他们成为男人。可以不强硬，也可以表露情感，可以促进平等，可以拥有女性朋友，就是这样，可以做一个完整的人。我们男性的解放，与你们女性的解放相依存。我问过一个九岁男孩，我问他说，“如果你不用再遵循这些男子汉标准，你会怎样？”他告诉我，“我就自由了。”