荆轲刺秦王搞笑版(英语对话)

第一篇：荆轲刺秦王搞笑版(英语对话)

《 荆珂刺秦王》Aside： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.旁白：很久以前有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式显示疯狂的历史。荆轲先生是最有名的剑客，被送往秦国杀“嬴政”国王。但最终他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么？好了，下一个节目会告诉你真相。丹太子(掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?镜子，镜子，告诉我，谁是世界上最漂亮的人？(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!是你呀！)Thank you mirror!谢谢你镜子！（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?我是丹太子，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的人。但嬴政是一位充满嫉妒的家伙,我如果镜子告诉他真相，我觉得他会杀了。我怕得要命。现在我能做些什么?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 我的大臣在哪里?阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.亲爱的,我就来了。太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!太子丹:我反复告诉你,你应该叫我“我最美丽、优雅、英俊迷人,可爱,聪明,最亲爱的丹王子”!阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng（作杀状）当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找到一个英雄杀死嬴政。太子：

Oh yeah.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（赞许状）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 太子:噢是啊。在这个世纪里什么商品最昂贵?人才,人才!好主意!但是谁是最合适的人选?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.阿三:经筛选后我手上有两个很有前途的杀手。一个是李莫愁小姐,另一个是荆轲先生。明天，他们将为成为世界第1杀手PK。太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?太子:嗯,告诉我尽快的赢家,好吗?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲：Are you Li mochou?李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好吧。我是荆轲,你肯定如雷贯耳了吧,我要让你知道我才是天下第一杀手。李莫愁：Are you challenging me?你是挑衅我吗?荆轲：Of course!耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来，一阵刀光剑影，李莫愁倒地，荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?李莫愁痛苦状:发生什么事了吗?你为什么不疼吗?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 太子丹：我的天啊！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？” 荆柯：Sure!荆柯：当然！太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?荆柯：很好，谢谢你和你的妻子吗？ 太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!荆柯：嗨，伙计，我是在开玩笑！太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?太子丹：哦，我是在开玩笑太（毕恭毕敬）请问您的名片？ 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.生存还是毁灭，这是一个问题。阿三：Hero，we need your help.阿三：英雄，我们需要你们的帮助。荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.太子丹：你可以得到很多钱。荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.阿三：英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends荆珂：只要停在这里。再见了，我的朋友太子丹：I will miss you, baby.太子丹：我会想念你，宝贝。（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，妻子扭过头来。）荆珂（深情状）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）妻子：我爱你！你对我意味着更多比整个世界的任何事情！荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更爱你。哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你。（选自《飘》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.妻子：嗯。做到这一点是一个男人！我会在这里等着你。荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）荆珂：亲爱的！你要帮我这个荣誉...答应我活下去...你永远不会放弃...不管发生什么

事...无论多么绝望...答应我，永不放弃对我的承诺去。妻子:“I promise.”妻子：“我答应你。”荆轲:“Never let go.“荆轲：“永不放弃。”妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."妻子：“我保证我永远不会放弃的，杰克我永远不会放弃。。”（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努

第二篇：英语搞笑短剧role_play荆轲刺秦王

荆轲刺秦王

很久很久以前中国战国时代，有两个国家的王子-------燕国的太子丹和秦国的嬴政，他们是很好的朋友，他们经常一起赏花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。有一天，他们还在游山玩水的时候，突然发现了一面镜子，一面有着神奇魔力的镜子，这是一面可以回答任何问题的魔镜。于是，太子丹和嬴政迫不及待的凑了上去。

Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜啊魔镜，我帅么？ 魔镜说：“当然了我的殿下，你是整个燕国最帅的人” 太子丹高兴状

然后，张璐上，问：魔镜啊魔镜，告诉我，那谁是这个世界上最帅的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(魔镜：It’s you)张璐做极度嚣张状。对太子丹说：“小弟啊，拿着这个镜子，自卑去吧，我是这个世界上最帅的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........太子丹回到宫中

“欺人太甚了，太过分了，我要报复！！我的仆人，你在哪里？” 仆人上

“哦，亲爱的，我来了Honey, I am coming。”

太子丹：“错，我应经告诉你多少遍了，你应该叫我最漂亮，最美丽，最英俊，最迷人，最可爱，最聪明和最亲爱的太子丹。I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“对不起，亲爱的，我知道错了，我完全知道你现在的苦恼，我有一个好主意，那就是~找一个英雄杀了嬴政！” I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）

太子丹：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做赞许状）好主意，可是谁是好的人选呢？Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 仆人：经调查，有两个人比较合适，一个是李莫愁小姐，一个是荆轲，明天他们将为谁是天下第一杀手而决斗。After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子丹：“太好了，赶快让我看看胜利者，行么？” Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 仆人：“好的，开拍Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?你想挑战我么？ 荆轲Of course!耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状 李莫愁：“发生了什么，为什么你不受伤？What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?” 荆轲：“你根本就不懂的什么是剑，哎独孤求败啊….ai…..In solitude I seek for defeat..李莫愁：“Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.（阿甘正传台词）荆轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.太子丹：“哇哦，如此的富有诗意，不愧是大侠。” 仆人：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!仆人：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now!仆人(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!仆人：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.仆人：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM。

太子丹：我必须使出我的王牌了，这就是立顿减肥茶，中国联合利华驰名商标。I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：减肥茶，哦这是我梦见了数千次的东西，我的妻子一直威胁我，如果我不减肥就要离开我。Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.太子丹：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……（大话西游台词）（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与仆人跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，仆人做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）

荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹：真的？ 荆轲：真的，亲爱的。

太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!（《大话西游》主题曲响起 荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,仆人在后.仆人：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆轲，妻子，李莫愁，太子丹，A君，B,C,旁白A，旁白B，美女

荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，仆人下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!你对我来说比世界上的任何事情都重要。（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go." 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……今天是个送死的好日子的，别回来啊别回来…….妻子(掏出手机拨号，仆人接手机)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance（人寿保险）$1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.仆人：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.The End

第三篇：英语搞笑短剧role_play荆轲刺秦王

荆轲刺秦王

很久很久以前中国战国时代，有两个国家的王子-------燕国的白哥和秦国的嬴政，他们是很好的朋友，他们经常一起赏花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。有一天，他们还在游山玩水的时候，突然发现了一面镜子，一面有着神奇魔力的镜子，这是一面可以回答任何问题的魔镜。于是，白哥和嬴政迫不及待的凑了上去。

白哥（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜啊魔镜，我帅么？ 魔镜说：“当然了我的殿下，你是整个燕国最帅的人” 白哥高兴状

然后，张璐上，问：魔镜啊魔镜，告诉我，那谁是这个世界上最帅的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(魔镜：It’s you)张璐做极度嚣张状。对白哥说：“小弟啊，拿着这个镜子，自卑去吧，我是这个世界上最帅的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........白哥回到宫中

“欺人太甚了，太过分了，我要报复！！我的仆人，你在哪里？” 仆人上

“哦，亲爱的，我来了Honey, I am coming。” 白哥：“错，我应经告诉你多少遍了，你应该叫我最漂亮，最美丽，最英俊，最迷人，最可爱，最聪明和最亲爱的太子丹。I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“对不起，亲爱的，我知道错了，我完全知道你现在的苦恼，我有一个好主意，那就是~找一个英雄杀了嬴政！” I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~

（作杀状）

白哥：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做赞许状）好主意，可是谁是好的人选呢？Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 仆人：经调查，有两个人比较合适，一个是李莫愁小姐，一个是荆轲，明天他们将为谁是天下第一杀手而决斗。After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.白哥：“太好了，赶快让我看看胜利者，行么？” Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

仆人：“好的，开拍Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?你想挑战我么？ 荆轲Of course!耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状 李莫愁：“发生了什么，为什么你不受伤？What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?” 荆轲：“你根本就不懂的什么是剑，哎独孤求败啊….ai…..In solitude I seek for defeat..李莫愁：“Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.（阿甘正传台词）

荆轲再次大笑

白哥上（抱拳）：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

白哥：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!

白哥：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

白哥晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

白哥：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?

荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.白哥：“哇哦，如此的富有诗意，不愧是大侠。”

仆人：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!

仆人：IC, ID, IQ card?

荆柯：I am very very busy now!

仆人(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!仆人：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.仆人：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM。

白哥：我必须使出我的王牌了，这就是立顿减肥茶，中国联合利华驰名商标。I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：减肥茶，哦这是我梦见了数千次的东西，我的妻子一直威胁我，如果我不减肥就要离开我。Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.白哥：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……（大话西游台词）（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与仆人跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，仆人做呕吐状。然后荆轲与白哥跳伦巴，最后白哥摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）

荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.白哥：真的？

荆轲：真的，亲爱的。

太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!

（《大话西游》主题曲响起

荆珂挽着妻子，白哥,仆人在后.仆人：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends

白哥：I will miss you, baby.（白哥，仆人下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）

荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!你对我来说比世界上的任何事情都重要。（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)

妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:“I promise.”

荆轲:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."

妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……今天是个送死的好日子的，别回来啊别回来…….妻子(掏出手机拨号，仆人接手机)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance（人寿保险）$1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.仆人：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.The End

第四篇：荆轲刺秦王(搞笑英语小话剧,英语及翻译)

《荆珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。

Action I 太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!)Thank u mirror!I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do? Where is my minister? 镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一个嫉妒的家伙，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相他会杀了我。我很害怕。我该怎么办呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三: Honey, I am coming.亲爱的，我来了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

我告诉过你一次又一次，你应该叫我“我最美丽的、优雅、英俊、迷人、可爱、聪明和最亲爱的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~ 当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个英雄去杀嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 欧耶！二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但谁是合适的人选？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.经过筛选后我手上有两个有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将PK为世界头号杀手。

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 好的，给我尽快得主，好吗？ 阿三：Yes.Action II 荆轲：Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好的。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是世界头号杀手之王。李莫愁：Are you challenging me? 你想挑战我吗？ 荆轲：Off course!

李莫愁：Come on!李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

发生了什么？你为什么不疼？

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we? 赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.妈妈常说：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我明白了，妈妈是对的。太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

哦，天哪！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？”？ 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!May I have your name card, please? 哦，我也是在开玩笑呢！我可以要一张你的名片吗？ 阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? IC、ID、IQ卡？

荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三: Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你说好的，她就是你的。

荆柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不说她是一个非常性感美丽的女孩，但中医是我唯一的爱！阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯：Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.嘿，兄弟！你这么聪明，但为什么你不知道中医？任何人都可以给你答案。阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.传统的中国美眉

太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.我必须告诉你的王牌。女士们，先生们，这是立顿减肥茶。这是一个全新的联合利华中国产品。

荆柯：Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.减肥茶！我梦想它数千次。我的妻子总是威胁说要离开我，如果我不能减轻我的体重。

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really? 你想得倒好？假如你想要！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你很有诚意，我很高兴，你还是要说出来。你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要？ 荆柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.告诉我，我应该做什么？我会为你做任何事。

Action III

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。

荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 就停在这里。再见，我的朋友 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.荆珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!我爱你。对我而言，你比这个世界上的任何东西都更有意义。荆珂：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更爱你。哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你。

妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.怎么样。作为一个男人，就去做！我会一直在这里等你。

荆珂：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise 亲爱的！你一定要帮我这个忙„答应我你会活下去„你绝不会放弃„不管发生什么事„无论多么的绝望„现在就答应我，永远不要忘记你的承诺 妻子：“I promise.” 荆轲：“Never let go.“

永不放弃

妻子：”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go." 妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never…… 这是一个去死的好日子。再也回不来了。不......从未......妻子：Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.谢谢你.当我得到人寿保险1000000美元，我将把它的一半，500000美元到您的帐户。

阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.然后荆轲送往秦，最终被嬴政杀了。

第五篇：搞笑英语话剧剧荆轲刺秦王(正文及翻译)

《荆珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。

Action I 太子丹：(上，掏出乒乓球拍梳头，做自恋状)Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?（向幕里大叫）Where is my minister? 镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一个嫉妒的家伙，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相他会杀了我。我很害怕。我该怎么办呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三:（毕恭毕敬）Honey, I am coming.亲爱的，我来了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!（极快速的说，边说边指点数落阿三）

我告诉过你一次又一次，你应该叫我“我最美丽的、优雅、英俊、迷人、可爱、聪明和最亲爱的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~（作杀状）

当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个英雄去杀嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 欧耶！二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但谁是合适的人选？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.经过筛选后我手上有两个有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将PK为世界头号杀手。太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 好的，给我尽快得主，好吗？ 阿三：Yes.Action II 荆轲：（滑太空步上场）Are you Li mochou?（荆轲先上场，李莫愁随后，上场后慢慢围绕场地转）李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好的。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是世界头号杀手之王。李莫愁：Are you challenging me? 你想挑战我吗？

荆轲：Off course!（耸耸肩表示同意，耍酷）李莫愁：Come on!（音乐起《DJ重金属纯音乐》）两人冲上前来

荆轲：Look！帅哥！看！，帅哥

李莫愁回头看太子丹，太子丹做自恋状 荆轲挥刀砍中李莫愁

李莫愁倒地（李莫愁以单膝倒地的姿势倒下，两人保持背对）荆轲大笑（曾小贤的笑声）

李莫愁：What happened? Are you 使诈？（向后看）发生了什么？你使诈？

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（华丽转身加甩头发）

赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.（上来两个人把李莫愁扛走）

妈妈常说：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我明白了，妈妈是对的。

荆轲再次大笑（假装笑呛着了，咳嗽~）太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?（微笑）太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?（伸出手，准备和荆轲握手）

哦，天哪！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？” 荆柯：Sure!（扣了下鼻孔，然后向太子丹伸出手）

太子丹：How are you?（很不情愿，且很恶心，但还是握了手，收回手，并用力的甩了两下）

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?（正经的说）太子丹吐血（阿三接住，荆轲从前面拉住）荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!May I have your name card, please?（重新站起）哦，我也是在开玩笑呢！我可以要一张你的名片吗？ 阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：UFO!(荆轲手指天上，阿三望指的方向看)I am busy now!（快速的说）太子丹：You can get a lot of money.（太子丹跳到荆轲面前说）

荆柯：UFO!（荆轲手指另一边，太子丹望指的方向看）I am very busy now!（再次快速的说）

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? IC、ID、IQ卡？

荆柯：I am very very busy now!（指向另一边的方向）太子丹响指一打，手一挥

音乐起《Nobody-Wonder片段》

阿三：（手指上场的美女，激动状）Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.（双手指向荆轲）

看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你说好的，她就是你的。

荆柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不说她是一个非常性感美丽的女孩，但中医是我唯一的爱！阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯：Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? TCM is Traditional Chinese MM 嘿，兄弟！你这么聪明，但为什么你不知道中医？TCM就是中国传统美眉

太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is doudou tea It can kill your doudou！（手指向荆轲的脸，荆轲捂住脸）if you help us doudou tea is yours（手敲了敲痘痘茶，然后递给荆轲）

我必须告诉你的王牌。女士们，先生们，这是痘痘茶。他可以治好你的痘痘 荆柯：doudou tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.（把痘痘茶装进怀里）

痘痘茶！我梦想它数千次。

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Why don’t you close it up Although your eyes are full of sincerity（抱住荆轲用力的指了指他的脑门）,（荆轲地道的说了一句“让我看看值不值啊”，然后拿出手掐指开始算）I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really? 你想得倒好？假如你想要！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？你为什么把它收起来？虽然你很有诚意，我很高兴，你还是要说出来。你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要？

音乐起《猪八戒背媳妇片段》

荆轲与阿三开始跳舞，最后把阿三甩飞 音乐起《千年等一回片段》 荆轲与太子丹开始跳舞

荆柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.告诉我，我应该做什么？我会为你做任何事。太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）：Yeah！

Action III 音乐起

荆轲挽着妻子，太子丹，阿三在后

阿三：（跑到荆轲面前）Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。

荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 就停在这里。再见，我的朋友

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹上前和荆轲拥抱，太子丹假装荆轲身上很臭，刚抱到立马离开，然后拍拍自己的衣服）音乐起《你是风儿我是沙片段》 荆珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!我爱你。对我而言，你比这个世界上的任何东西都更有意义。

荆珂：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更爱你。哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你。

妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.怎么样。作为一个男人，就去做！我会一直在这里等你。

荆珂：Sweetheart!You must promise me…you must promise you will survive...you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...never let go…never let go…never let go go go~~宝贝！你一定不能背叛我„你一定不能背叛我„你不要放弃„不管发生什么事„无论多么的绝望„现在就答应我，永远不要忘记…永远不要忘记…永远不要忘记~~ 妻子：“I promise.” 音乐起《纤夫的爱》

荆轲拿着剑走出场，又绕了一圈，再走出场，歌曲唱完留给荆轲场一句“哥哥我岸上走”

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never…… 这是一个去死的好日子。再也回不来了。不......从未......妻子：Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.谢谢你.当我得到人寿保险1000000美元，我将把它的一半，500000美元到您的帐户。

阿三：Okay okay!

Action IV

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.然后荆轲送往秦，最终被嬴政杀了。

荆轲(一个人上场拿着剑用地道的方言)：你败跑啊，你败跑啊你！音乐起《枪声》 荆轲倒在地上 音乐起《秘密》

END