大学生英语话剧--荆轲刺秦王

第一篇：大学生英语话剧--荆轲刺秦王

旁白： Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country，there were some crazy

people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qin,“Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? OK, next show will tell you the truth.  Part one 太子丹 : Yingzheng,that bad guy ,treats me even worse than before.Resorts to lots of persons

in his hand,he never cares about me---the most sensible prince under the sun.Recently,he has got much more cities from my hands.How can I live if these things happen againHey！I must think out a good idea.I must make him know who I am.嬴政,那个坏家伙,对待我比以前更糟了。仰仗着他手里人多,他从不顾忌我---太阳下最明智的王子。最近,他从我手里夺去了更多的城池。,如果这些事发生，我如何生活嘿！我得想出一个好主意。我要让他知道我是谁。

 太子丹:Indeed, tell me what shall we do now? 事实上,告诉我,我们应该做些什么呢?

 阿三:Just keep calm,please!Let me see!只是保持镇静,请!让我看看!

Ok get one,we can sent a hero to put Ying Zheng to~~~好的,我找到了,我们可以送一个英雄,把嬴政~ ~ Then, all the beauties,jewelries and cities in Qin is ours~~~ 那么,所有的美女、首饰和城市在秦代是

 我们的~ ~ ~太子:Ha, ha~~~.Good idea,Good idea!But do you think who we can sent? 哈哈~ ~ ~。好主意,好主意!但你认为谁是可以送到呢? 阿三：I have thought about it, we can send Xi Men Chui Xue.He is traveling in our country these

days.I think we can’t lose the chance.We must employ him quickly.我认为,我们可以派遣西门吹雪。他这些日子在我国旅游。我认为我们不能失去这个机会。我们必须雇用他

太子:Well, deal with the things as soon as possible.嗯,处理事情尽快。

 Part two

西门吹雪 :Today I came here for the fighting, who is the unwanted-life guy.Stand out.今天我来战斗,谁是unwanted-life的家伙。站出来

荆轲站在一边，不敢出大气。

旁白：Competition begins.荆轲Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue?

西门吹雪：Just come on.荆轲：Are you sure you are really the Xi Men Chui Xue in the story

西门吹雪： what a boring man!How dare you ask me such a stupid question?        

荆轲My hero, I admire you just like the yellow river, never endless.I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down.Please don’t kill me.Give me the life, please!

 西门吹雪I thought Jingke is a hero.But you beg for life.How can I forgive you ,Give you your

life.(我认为荆轲是一个英雄。但你求手下留情。我怎么能原谅你给你留一条命呢 Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice.(抬头)where is the toilet?也许

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 我吃了太多的今天早上,也许有大米毛病了。厕所在哪里? 荆轲：T-o-i-l-e-t-? 西门吹雪：WC.荆轲：W-C-? 西门吹雪：茅厕！Are you happy to hear such rude words?你很高兴听到这样粗鲁的话? 荆轲：I know, I know.Turn left, left and left.我知道,我知道。向左拐,左拐再左拐.西门吹雪下。太子丹与阿三上，看见荆轲，大吃一惊，太子丹给阿三一个眼色，阿三会意。走至荆轲前。阿三: What’s your name, please? Hero.请问你叫什么名字?英雄.荆轲不屑一顾。太子丹May I have your name, please?我可以知道你的名字吗? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着Even dying under the flower, Also happy as a ghost.---Happy prince

of the gostjingke：宁 在 花 下 死，作 鬼 也 风 流 —快活魔王荆轲是也

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 太子丹：I am glad to meet you 荆柯：Me too 荆柯突欲走，太子丹给阿三一个眼色。阿三：Hero, wait for a moment.I have a problem needs your help。英雄,稍等片刻。我有一个问题,需要你的帮助． 太子丹：You can gain a lot of things.荆柯欲走又止。太子丹: Here is a card for traveling all over the world for free, please accept it please, hero.这是一张卡片,周游世界免费,请接受吧,英雄。荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走 太子丹：I must use the last way.Ladies and gentlemen.This is Miss Huang!我一定要用过去的方式。女士们,先生们。这是黄小姐。有一妖艳女子走上，走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。荆柯两眼发直。太子丹与阿三Yeah!荆柯：Great man, both born and die for his motherland.I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty.What shall I do? Prince, just say it out.But this lady„„ 伟大的人,出生和死亡都为他的祖国。我不是那个人只是想要钱和美丽。我该做什么呢?王子,就说出来。但是这个女人„„ 太子丹：No problem.没问题。 Part three 挽着那女子，太子丹在后，阿三一手拿着地图，一手提头上。阿三：We have already reached Yishui River.我们已经达到沂水河。荆珂：Please just stop here.Goodbye.请在这里停车。再见。太子丹：Hero, Let me see you off a little further英雄,让我送你一些 荆珂：What a boring guy.If you walk a little further, then you will go to Qin instead of me 多么无聊的一场的家伙。如果你再走一段,然后你会代替我去秦 太子丹：Well.Goodbye.Hero.Here is the map and the head of Fan Yuqi, so as to get trust of the king 好。再见。英雄。这是地图和樊于期的头部,从而获得信任,尽显王者风范 荆珂 ：How can I express my feeling now? I don’t want to leave because I love you.Once I think

I will kill Yingzheng.I can’t help rushing into W.C.you known.I don’t want to go.I don’t want to go.我怎样才能表达我现在的感受吗?我不想离开,因为我爱你。只要想到我会杀了Yingzheng。我不能自己的冲进了厕所。我不想去。我不想去。

女子：Don’t worry.Do you still love me?别担心。你还爱着我吗?

荆珂：Sure.I love you just like the mouse likes the rice.I love you more than my own life, more than my wife, more than the whole world.You are the one I first kissed, and I hope you will be the last one.当然。我爱你,就像老鼠爱大米。我爱你胜过我的生命,超过我的妻子,超过整个世 界。你就是我的第一次接吻,我希望你将会是最后一个。女子：Well.If you are still loving me.You should not make me sad Stand up like a man.Don’

t be fearful.I will be right here waiting for you.好。如果你仍然爱我。你不应该让我伤心站起来像一个人。别无所畏惧。我将在这里等着你。

荆珂：You must wait for me.你必须等我。

女子努力挤出几滴眼泪，旁白”I will be right here waiting for you”(我将在这里等着你)响起

荆珂上船，渐渐远去，女子：Hey！You want to come back, use your pig head, if you come back, the assurance that I bought for you will have no use.Go to your doom.Never come back.嘿!你想回来,用你的猪头,如果你回来,我买的保险就没有用了。去你的末日。永远都不会回来了。       

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 一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。大臣甲（掏出手机一看）：Hey, bad luck.I am late.The bonus of this month has been lost.嘿,坏运气。我来晚了。这个月的奖金已经失去。大臣乙：I am tired.I had been chatting on QQ until 1 o’ clock last night.我累了。我在QQ上聊天,直到昨晚1点钟。大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲）：Good.Good.Your skin is fine.好。好。你的皮肤很好 大臣甲：I use “ Da Bao” everyday.我用“大宝”每一天 大臣乙：I have heardthe emperor of Yan again give our king some good things.Be quick, to have a look。我的心的皇帝再给我们的王燕一些好东西。快点,看了一下。大臣甲：Come on 秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。卫兵丙：“Can we begin？” 秦王“begin” 卫兵丙：“Let the people of Yan Jingke come in”让人们燕国,荆轲进来 荆柯上。跪下，吓得直发抖。秦王：“Jingke.What’s wrong with you？”荆柯,你有什么不舒服吗? 荆柯：“Nothing.Nothing.May be there are lots of fleas on my body “.没有。没有。可能有许多跳蚤在我身上 秦王（不烦）：What’s the good things，quickly！”有什么好东西,快!荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦，（旁白：Go Go Go Only Only响起）秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿„„ 大臣甲喊道：“ King, drink the milk quickly!”（国王，快喝牛奶）扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。秦王:Super rubbish, how dare you kill me?超级垃圾,你怎么敢杀我? 荆柯:I'm sorry I'm wrong But it is the prince of Yan told me to do that。Please forgive me!对不起,我错了,但燕国国王指使我。请您原谅我吧!秦王：You will never live again.What would you like to say?你将永远不会再活。你想说什么? 荆柯：My lovely lady，Once there was a truest love put before my eyes ,but I didn't cherish

it.Only after losing it.I found myself regretting.No pains in the world comes near this, if God Could give me another chance, I would say to the girl “I love you!“If there had to be a limit of time before the end of love.I hope it would be ten thousand years.我的可爱的女人,曾经有一份真诚的爱情放在我面前的眼睛,但是我没有珍惜。只有在失去它。我发现自己后悔了。世界上没有痛苦来到附近,如果上天能再给我一次机会,我想说的是,这个女孩说“我爱你!“如果有在这份爱上加上一个期限结束前的爱。我希望它会是一万年。

秦王（吼道）：Soldiers ,drag him out and put the pig head on the wall！士兵,拖出去并把这头猪的头挂在墙上！

第二篇：英语话剧剧本——荆轲刺秦王

4-5人剧本，短小搞笑

Roles: 太子丹；荆轲；荆轲妻；谋士阿三；莫愁；旁白 旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荆轲

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荆轲

Of course!耸耸肩表示同意 李莫愁 Come on!音乐起

两人冲上前来

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荆轲大笑

李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑

太子丹：（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.荆柯(诚恳状)If you give me a TCM, I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!

Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，荆珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）荆珂上船，渐渐远去

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.The End

第三篇：英语话剧剧本——荆轲刺秦王

4-5人剧本，短小搞笑

Roles: 太子丹；荆轲；荆轲妻；谋士阿三；莫愁；旁白 旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荆轲

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荆轲

Off course!耸耸肩表示同意 李莫愁 Come on!音乐起

两人冲上前来

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荆轲大笑 李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

观众甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）

荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!

Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）

荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……

妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.The End

第四篇：英语话剧剧本——荆轲刺秦王修改版

5-9人剧本（男版），短小搞笑

Roles: 太子丹；荆轲；母氏；谋士阿二，三；莫愁；旁白等 旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）： Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where are my ministers? 阿二 阿三: Honey, we are coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿二：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? 二十一世纪最需要的是什么（这句话要跟观众交流）阿二 阿三：Talent!人才！

太子丹：Great!Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿二：After screening I have one promising persons on hand.阿三：I have one too!太子丹：What are they? 阿二：His name is JinKe.阿三：Her name is LiMoChou，my lord!太子丹：but who should I choose ? 阿二：Tomorrow let them PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿二 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲 ：Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁：Are you challenging me? 荆轲 ：Off course!耸耸肩表示同意 李莫愁：Come on!。。。。。。。。Look，帅哥！

（李莫愁扭头，荆轲打到李莫愁）荆轲大笑

李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why？you are 使诈

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（赢一个人需要理由么，不

需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.阿二：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿二(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯： Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? TCM is Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：Ok!I will 忍痛割爱！母氏 come here!（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与母氏跳探戈，拥入怀中）

荆柯： You are so cute, I believe that I have fallen in love with you.That may be the love at first sight!(一见钟情)（将母氏甩出去!抛媚眼)太子丹：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take them and her!Do you really like? Really? 荆柯(诚恳状)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.Action Ш

荆珂挽着母氏，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿二，三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起 荆珂：Darling, I love you.母氏：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.。。音乐停(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)力拔山兮气盖世，时不利兮骓不适，骓不适兮可奈何，母姬，母姬，奈若何！母氏：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.母氏:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“

母氏:”I promise.I will never let go, Jingke.I'll never let go."（《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）母氏努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去（霸王别姬音乐起）第四幕：murdering(刺秦).一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。

大臣甲（掏出手机一看）：Hey, bad luck.I am late.The bonus of this month has been lost.大臣乙：I am tired.I had been chatting on QQ until 1 o’ clock last night.大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲）：Good.Good.Your skin is fine.大臣甲：I use “ Da Bao” everyday.大臣乙：I have heart the emperor of Yan again give our king some good things.Be quick, to have a look.大臣甲：Come on 秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。卫兵甲：“Can we begin？” 秦王“begin”

卫兵甲：“Let the people of Yan Jingke come in” 秦王：“Jingke.What’s wrong with you？”

荆柯：“Nothing.Nothing.May be there are lots of fleas on my body “.秦王（不烦）：What’s the good things，quickly！”

荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦，（旁白：Go Go Go Only Only响起）秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。

两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿……

大臣甲喊道：“Mr King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。

秦王:Super rubbish, how dare you kill me? 荆柯:I'm sorry I'm wrong But the prince of Yan told me to。Please forgive me!秦王：You will never live again.What would you like to say?（《大话西游》主题曲响起）

荆柯：My lovely lady，Once there was a truest love put before my eyes ,but I didn't cherish it.Only after losing it.I found myself regretting.No pain in the world comes near this, if God could give me another chance, I would say to the girl “I love you!“If there had to be a limit of time

before the end of love.I hope it would be ten thousand years.秦王（吼道）：Soldiers carry out and put the pig head on the wall！

第五幕：Escape（逃跑）

二个卫兵拖着荆柯上，（手脚以被绑）将荆柯扔到一边。二人气喘吁吁，甲搜身。卫兵甲：Bad luck.He has no money.卫兵乙：Money?? You are joking!I have searched all his body, just two socks.卫兵甲:What?? Two socks? 卫兵乙:Nothing.Nothing.(回头)Too dangerous.卫兵甲:Put the socks out.卫兵乙L极不情愿，拿出了一双大小不一的袜子

卫兵甲看了看，比了比。将长的装进了自己兜里，短的扔给了卫兵乙。卫兵乙：Too dirty.(两人互看)Oh,no.It’s fair.荆柯（抬起头）：I will give you much more money if you set me free.二卫兵：Really? Where is the money? 荆柯指了指脚上的绳子。二卫兵会意，解开了绳子。

荆柯（站起来）：My brothers, I have a good idea.If you do it, you will get lots of money.二卫兵：Oh, please tell it to us!荆柯:You can tie another person instead of me to put to death.Only the king recognizes me but he won’t watch my death.So no one will find out the secret.二卫兵：Good idea！(竖指)荆柯去一边的树林里，拿出两袋钱，扔给二卫兵便大步而去。二卫兵正指着钱，忽路人出现。二卫兵（双目相视，大笑，同声）：Good！两人一把抓住路人

路人：What have I done? I haven’t done anything wrong.Oh, no no！!Have I crime? 二卫兵（异口同声）：Maybe.大笑.(Yesterday once more 起)剧情可自行改动，根据人数可将某些角色的台词化为一人！或一人多个角色！

第五篇：话剧《荆轲刺秦王》剧本(1.15)

荆轲刺秦王1.15版

荆轲刺秦王

（历史荒诞剧）

人物：太子丹，荆轲，秦舞阳，秦王，本·拉登，侍卫2人，旁白

旁白：（背景音乐《曹操》）话说约公元前NNN年，秦王继续实施自己吞并六国的宏伟大计，慢慢逼近燕国。此时，为了保住燕国，燕太子丹也正在实行自己的行刺秦王计划，他变卖了所有的家当，然后在全国范围内招募可以前往秦国行刺的勇士。传说中的荆轲刺秦王的故事就是这么开始的。

旁：号外，号外，太子丹为妹妹比武招亲了啊，各路英雄想一睹公主的美貌的，赶快报名罗！

第一幕 万人丛中觅英雄

（招募现场，人物：太子丹，荆轲，阿富汗大叔本·拉登）

旁白：比武招亲大会总决赛现在开始，传选手，燕国大将荆轲，阿富汗大叔本·拉登进殿。太子丹：欢迎！欢迎！请坐！请坐！哇噻，还来了位外国朋友，为了表示礼貌，先跟这位外

国友人打声招呼先。（对拉登大叔）HELLO啊，English You know 啊? You know 不 know啊? 那个My name is TAI ZI DAN，那个you name is what 啊?（拉登大叔一脸茫然）

本·拉登：太子殿下，我不仅懂中文，我还懂四川话呢！

太子丹：哦，还懂四川话啊，不早说！那我学那么多外语岂不是浪费了。好，两位高手，欢

迎来到今天的比武招亲决赛现场。那个，不好意思啊，之前小弟跟大家开了个小小的玩笑，其实呢，今天召集大家来是为了商量行刺秦王，救天下百姓于水深火热之中的大计！我妹妹呢，并没有要比武招亲，呵呵。

（俩人挥袖离去）

太子丹：唉，别，别走啊，这什么世道嘛…….（大喊）唉唉唉，回来！谁要是前往行刺秦

王，我就把公主许配给他！

（俩人快速归位）

太子丹：好，两位英雄都是性情中人，我喜欢。此次行刺非同小可，时间短，任务重，所以

我们在全国范围内进行了海选，海选完以后又分南北两个分区比赛，两位就是南北两个分赛区的总冠军，过五关斩六将，层层PK才进入今天的决赛，真的不容易啊。也说明两位真的是才高八斗，学富五车，比超女还超，比快男还快。所以希望你们今天也能发挥出自己的最好水平。好，你们看下面，今天也有很多你们的fans到场助威，先跟大家大声招呼把。

荆轲：（唱）“有没有人曾告诉你我很爱你，有没有曾在你日记里哭泣。有没有人曾告诉你我很在意，在意这座城市的距离。”大家好，俺就是燕国十大杰出青年之一荆轲，支持我的朋友们，移动用户，联通用户，小联通用户请编辑短信6666666发送到8888888，请大家一定要支持我哦，O耶！

本·拉登：“我的心里只有你没有他，你要相信我的情意并不假，只有你才是我梦想，只有

你才叫我牵挂，我的心里没有他。”大家好，我是拉登。请大家一定要支持我，O耶！太子丹：好，两位选手的介绍都很别具一格啊，那么在介绍之后，我们的决赛正式开始。你，准备好了吗？第一场，武力大比拼。作为一名优秀的杀手，强健的体魄是第一要求。

1知道什么叫强健的体魄吗？（做动作臭美）所以，首先你们要比试腕力！（比试，荆轲飞吻取胜）

太子丹：好，第一场惊心动魄啊！最终是英勇无敌的荆兄弟胜出！好，我们进行第二场。下

面考考文化题。荆兄弟，据说你文思如泉涌，下笔如有神，那么请你现场作诗一首，如何？

荆轲：（久时间酝酿）啊……春天不洗脚，处处蚊子咬。夜半一翻身，压死真不少。

太子丹：好诗，好诗！荆兄弟不愧是大才子！拉登大叔，你是International Friend，那么就

考个容易一点的吧，那个你做个听写吧，就那个，周杰伦的《双截棍》，侍卫，给拉登大叔上一杆毛笔！（music《双截棍》，秦舞阳舞双截棍）

本·拉登：（挥袖离去，在台边）这是嘛玩意啊，一个字都听不懂！这么欺负人，小心老子

我丢你两颗原子弹！

太子丹：一看就是个粗人，干不得刺杀这种技术含量高的活！来来来，荆兄，恭喜你挑战

成功，耶！（荆向观众致意，太子丹下）

荆轲：太子殿下，太子殿下，公主，公主在哪里啊？

第二幕 易水边上送壮士

（易水边上，人物：太子丹，荆轲，秦舞阳）

太子丹：兄弟，干！

荆轲：干，兄弟！

太子丹：兄弟啊，你真乃大英雄也！此次一去，乃为了燕国上下黎民百姓，人民会记住你的！荆轲：（粤语）我顶他个肺！秦王如此凶残，此次不取他的人头，我荆轲愧对天下人。太子丹：好，不亏是我的好兄弟！干！

荆轲：干！我说兄弟，你给我准备了什么武器啊？

太子丹：武器，有！（拍手，秦舞阳拿斧头上）

荆轲：啊，就一把斧头？

太子丹：兄弟，你可别小看了这斧头，这可是取千年寒铁所造，削铁如泥，吹毛断发！荆轲：可是兄弟，我们这是去行刺啊，又不是去干架，这么大的斧头怎么带进去啊！

太子丹：哦，是哦，这是个问题哦。好，我还有小的！（拍手，秦舞阳拿一特小的小刀上）荆轲：兄弟，这也太小了吧，削苹果都不行啊。

太子丹：兄弟，你可别小看了这小刀，这可是取千年寒铁所造，削铁如泥，吹毛断发！来，我给你试试！（拔一根头发下来试，结果没吹断，用力锯断）看吧，吹毛断发，吹毛短发！

荆轲：我说兄弟啊，咱这武器也太原始了点吧！前两天拉登大叔不是来了吗？怎么不向他进

口两导弹什么的，没有导弹，搞两把AK47也好啊。

太子丹：兄弟，不是我不想啊。那个拉登大叔，当天被我这题目一考，气不过来，就去搞两

飞机，把人家纽约的世贸中心双子楼给撞了，这不，正被美国佬全球通缉着嘛。

荆轲：这哥们火气太盛。庶子不足以谋！好，舍生取义，杀人成仁，兄弟，我去也。太子丹：慢！兄弟我还有一勇士，望能助你一臂之力。秦舞阳！

秦舞阳：老大，到。

太子丹：兄弟，这是我身边最好的勇士之一。6岁就学会泡人家幼儿园小妹妹，10岁搞失恋，12岁离家出走，13岁就杀了人，骁勇善战，心狠手辣，定能助你完成刺秦大计！（转向秦舞阳）以后你就跟着荆兄弟混吧，别给咱丢脸啊！

秦舞阳：是！老大请多多关照！小弟我定为了老大鞠躬尽瘁，死而后已！上刀山，下火海，跳油锅，在所不辞！

太子丹：兄弟，英雄，上路吧。

荆轲：等等！（酝酿）风萧萧兮易水寒，壮士一去兮不复还！

太子丹：好诗，好诗，有气势！

荆轲：其实，我是个诗人！啊，十年生死两茫茫……

太子丹：兄弟，上路吧……

（荆轲走）

太子丹：等等！兄弟！（《兄弟》的音乐起，太子丹拿出手机，作深情唱歌状）

（荆轲回头，看到公主，与公主依依惜别）

第三幕 秦王殿里显英豪

（秦王殿内，人物：荆轲，秦舞阳，秦王，美女侍卫两人）

（殿外，俩美女把门，荆、秦俩帅哥上）

荆轲：两位美女，麻烦通报一声，俺是秦王的远房表哥，近日路过秦地，特来拜访。侍卫1：有预约没有？

荆轲：没有。

侍卫2：没有预约不行。回去，打这个电话预约。

荆轲：呵呵，美女，我跟他一起穿一条开裆裤长大的，还要预约啥呀。

侍卫1：我们大王日理万机，今天都有好几个新闻发布会和招待会要去参加，哪有那么多时

间见你们这些所谓的表哥表弟的，回去预约再来吧。

荆轲：两位美女行行好吧。

侍卫1、2：NO

秦舞阳：（拉荆轲到一旁）不就俩娘们吗，跟她们费那么大劲干嘛，咱直接拿俩锤头，硼这

么一下不得了。

荆轲：（打秦舞阳）锤你的头，锤你的头，什么素质啊！难怪你一辈子做不了老大！哥们口

碑一向贼好，能对俩美女动手吗？

秦舞阳：那，咱咋办啊？

荆轲：让我想想，让我想想，这点小事难不倒我这么伟大的头脑。（踱步想）有了！（和秦舞

阳耳语一番，同下）

（两人一人口叼一支玫瑰，上）

荆轲：美女，今晚的月亮好美啊！（侍卫含笑不答）月亮再美，美不过我手中的玫瑰，玫瑰

再美，美不过我身边的美眉！（唱）“你在我心中是最美，只有相爱的人最能体会，你明了我明了，这种美妙的滋味。”

（俩侍卫拿起花，嗅嗅，丢掉）

（荆和秦又耳语一番，用美色，露肩膀，露胳膊，两侍卫被吓跑）

旁白：大王召见荆轲，秦舞阳！

（荆、秦两人进，秦王正襟危坐。）

荆柯：哎呀，表弟，多年不见啊，你现在真是尽享荣华富贵啊！苟富贵，勿相忘哦！

秦王：哈哈哈哈，荆大将军演技果然高明，你不就是想来取我性命吗，何必拉那么多亲戚关

系呢？！

荆柯：啊，你怎么知道我们是来行刺的？

秦王：哈哈哈哈，（拿过一张报纸，“七国日报”）太子丹易水相送，荆轲刺秦计划启动，喏，还有照片呢！

荆柯：唉，狗仔队害人啊！！好，既然你知道了我们的意图，我也没有什么好隐瞒的了，你

就准备受死吧！

秦王：哈哈哈哈，荆大将军，要让我死，可没那么容易吧？

荆柯：可笑，你不知道我有百步穿杨的美称吗，现在你与我已在百步之内，只要我动手，随

时可以取你性命！

秦王：是麽，哈哈哈哈，那我倒要看看荆大将军的百步穿杨啦！

荆轲：香蕉你个疤瘌！小瞧我，去死吧。

（《无间道》音乐起，荆抽小刀，与两侍卫搏斗，打败侍卫后，逼近秦王，秦舞阳掏出手枪，指向荆柯的额头，均使用慢动作）

荆轲：原来你就是那个卧底！能不能给我一个机会，我想做一次英雄！

秦舞阳：对不起，我是卧底！

秦王：哈哈哈哈，荆大将军，束手就擒吧！

荆轲：士可杀，不可辱。要杀要刮随你便！

秦王：荆大将军，我念你是条汉子，今天就给你一个公平竞争的机会！你跟我打，要是你能

杀了我，你也可以成为英雄。

荆轲：好，是你自己找死啊！

（双方脱衣服，做准备工作，音乐起）

旁白：

1、中央电视台，深圳电视台，宝安电视台，观众朋友们大家晚上好，现在为大家现

场直播秦国第一届比武大赛。由燕国十大杰出青年之一荆轲挑战秦国2008年风云人物之首秦王。现在双方选手正在做准备活动。我们知道荆轲近几年来成绩非常不错啊，前不久刚打败了美国拳王泰森，不知道这次挑战是否会成功，我们拭目以待。本次比赛是由脑白金全程赞助举办的。今年过节不收礼，收礼还收脑白金。

2、好，现在比赛开始了。（侍卫加油）荆轲先是一招佛山无影脚出击，秦王一记龟派气功波还击。荆轲再是一招葵花点穴手，我点，我点。秦王再来一个降龙十八掌……啊，这比赛真是打的难解难分啊，给观众朋友们带来了很好的视觉享受！啊，两人抱着打在了一起，场面非常混乱，观众都分不清楚谁在占着优势。

3、（健翔式疾呼）啊，猴子偷桃，猴子偷桃，猴子偷桃，荆轲立功了，荆轲立功了，伟大的燕国杀手，他继承了燕国杀手的光荣传统，在这一刻灵魂附体，荆轲一个人代表了燕国杀手悠久的历史和传统，在这一刻，他不是一个人在战斗，他不是一个人，他身后站着13亿的中国人民，他不是一个人！

秦王：是你逼我出绝招的！（酝酿）

荆轲：放马过来吧！（酝酿）

（以猜酒令决胜负：人在江湖飘啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊……最终荆轲败）

秦王：哈哈哈哈，脑白金喝得不够吧！今年过节不收礼，收礼还收脑白金。耶！拖下去，斩

了！

荆轲：有心杀贼，无力回天，死得其所，快哉，快哉。啊！！

旁白：哎，世道变了，杀手不好做啊，下辈子还是来宝城所做律师吧。

<全剧完>-----2008，新年快乐：）

----CCH作品

2008年1月

附页

背景音乐：

《曹操》

《双截棍》

《兄弟》

《无间道》

道具：

双截棍（1）

毛笔（1）

斧头（1）

小刀（1）

扫把（1）

晾衣竿（1）

玫瑰花（2）

报纸（1）