中美职场潜规则有哪些奇怪差异？

第一篇：中美职场潜规则有哪些奇怪差异？

中美职场潜规则有哪些奇怪差异？

（侨报网特色栏目【嬉皮笑脸】第33期，用轻松幽默的方式看新闻，欢迎持续关注。）

美国人有两个独有的格言，一是“这就是历史”，二是“让钱说话”。从这独特的表达方式中可以一窥美国人的职场文化。

美国人有着年轻，多元化和性格意向。在某种意义上，美国是不满者的国家，人们对现状不满，追求更好的未来，而不是沉浸在历史的辉煌中。最能代表这一点的是美国的两句俚语。其一是，“T hat‘shis-tory”“那是历史”，他们说这句话是想表达对于过去错误的原谅和忘记，证明自己的宽宏大量。当朋友或工作伙伴犯了一个能够修正的错误时，他们会说这句话。但是同时，这句话也在强调，他们对未来的成果有所期待。

这一表达还暗示了美国人对于文化和个人传统的轻视。这个表达其实是在说“这个无关紧要”。当然，中国人会坚持历史是理解一个人的动机和抱负的全部。从另一方面来说，美国人对遥远的过去没有太多责任感，对未来也不会想得太深。他们希望很快得到结果。

用通俗易懂的话来表述美国人的职场观念就是：简单、直接、粗暴。

来看个真实的故事，去年，美国人B.B.加入了一家跨国制造公司，担任项目经理。现在被派往位于中国的一家工厂，这是B.B.的第一项海外任务。这是一次有重要意义的职业变动，因为B.B.所在部门的所有高管都拥有丰富的国际经验。B.B.对这次机会感到非常兴奋。

唯一让B.B.有所顾虑的是，被派往那里的目的是“扭转局面”，取代一位未能完成高层既定目标的同事。B.B.曾问他遇到了哪些障碍，他说虽然自己反复解释了需要做什么，但他管理的团队依然我行我素。另外一个问题是，即使人们知道存在严重的生产故障，但没有人会说出来，直到问题严重到难以解决的程度。对此B.B.表示很惆怅，不知该如何下手。

这的确是一个很有意思的问题，尤其是现在中美合作越来越多，人员外派数量成上升趋势。有报告称，2013年，约40%的美国公司派驻海外的员工人数超过了2012年。有些员工会对即将派驻海外的管理人员提供跨文化培训，但有些公司却指望人们自己解决文化差异问题。

法国国际商学院欧洲工商管理学院的管理学教授艾琳迈耶说：“一个重要的因素是，全世界美国人的商业准则是最以任务为导向的。管理者们专注于工作。他们的想法很单纯，就是希望完成工作而已。”

但在其他许多国家，包括中国、日本、韩国和印度，以及墨西哥、巴西和尼日利亚等国家，这种方式却并不适合，相反，这被认为是一种彻彻底底的冒犯行为。

那这些国家，生意与个人之间没有明确的界限。所以，能在那些国家成功的管理者，都会更深入地了解自己的同事，例如，经常在一起用餐，但在饭桌上并不讨论业务问题。许多美国人会认为这是在浪费时间，但迈耶表示，其他国家的同事首先需要了解和信任你，然后才能与你一起共事。这就是中国人所谓的“酒桌文化”，吃好了喝的开心了什么事都好说。

美国人常常觉得中国人不够直白，且缺少自信，而中国人可能认为美国人做事粗鲁欠考虑。这样的情况会造成冲突和误会，最终影响工作效率。

其次，在中国，集体的意见高于个人观点。如果当场询问，你不可能得到诚实的回答。员工不愿意表达自己的意见。他们需要先在私下里彼此协商。

逐个要求员工或希望他们表达自己的想法，在中国可能行不通。相反，建议团队在你不在场的情况下，进行一次简短的讨论——例如在15分钟的休息时间，你可以离开会议室，之后要求他们向你报告他们对当前情况的看法。通过这种方式，更有可能得到你所需要的坦白，帮助你成功地扭转局面。再有就是关于“权利越位”的差异，你的美籍老板给了你们小组一个项目，在布置任务时，你们小组成员没人提出异议或疑问。你的老板布置完以后就放心地走了。可是到了规定交差的时间，你的老板发现原来你们小组只做了一点点，没有完成他指定的任务。老板当很生气，可是作为员工，你和你的同事也觉得很委屈，因为在完成这个任务的过程中，你们遇到了一些不在你们职权范围内的事情，你们需要老板的授权，然后才能走下一步。这就是你们没有完成任务的理由。

显然，在对待自主性这件事上，美籍老板和中国员工想的不一样。这又是中西文化差异的一个表现。在中国的文化里，不能做未经授权的事情，不能做“越位”的事情，等级观念很重，他们要循规蹈矩，要按章办事。可是在西方企业的管理理念里，“给我结果”“我只看结果”是第一位的，很多职业经理人都是以结果为导向，所以在遇到难题时，他们会更加倾向于想办法解决，即使“越位”也不在话下。

在美国，如果员工答应做某件事情，那么他就会去做；如果他们没有拿到一个签字或授权，那么员工就会直接给老板打电话告知他这件事情。如果没有在中途告知老板出现的问题，一直等要交差时老板才知道，这个员工很可能会被炒鱿鱼。

所以，美国上司应该学会辨认无言的拒绝。在更注重等级的文化中长大的人从小接受的教育是，对权威说‘不’是无礼的行为。如果你问一名中国员工：‘你能在两周内把这项工作完成吗？’他或她会这样说：‘是的，我们会尽量。’而这通常只是出于礼貌。如果对方有任何犹豫或叹气，那么他们真实的意思可能是：‘根本不可能。’”如果“感觉存在任何否定的意味”，这表明“你需要深入挖掘真实情况”。

跟父母、爱人和朋友都会经常有沟通障碍，何况是在完全不同的文化环境下长大的人。摩擦可以有，但要学会沟通，要做到目交心通确实难为人，但把酒言欢、对酒当歌什么的真的可以有。

（编辑：陈西）

第二篇：中美职场潜规则差异揭秘

中美职场潜规则差异揭秘

Anne Fisher为《财富》杂志《向Anne提问》的专栏作者，这个职场专栏始于1996年，帮助读者适应经济的兴衰起落、行业转换，以及工作中面临的各种困惑。

一样是当老板，在中国和在美国的情形可能完全不一样，而造成这种情况的原因就在于中美文化传统的不同。在异国文化环境里带团队的管理者必须搞清楚这种微妙的差异。

Dear Annie: I joined a global manufacturing company as a project manager last year, and have now been tapped for my first overseas assignment, in one of our factories in China.It's a big career move, since all the senior executives in my division have a lot of international experience, and I'm really excited about it.The only thing giving me pause is that I'm being sent there to “turn things around,” replacing someone who failed to reach the targets set by senior management.When I asked him what obstacles he was dealing with, he said that, although he explained repeatedly what needed to be done, the team he managed kept doing everything the same old way.Another issue has been that people who were aware of major production glitches didn't say anything until it was too late to fix them.Can you or your readers shed any light on how to avoid a replay of the same problems? — Beijing Bound Dear B.B.: Interesting question, especially since international assignments seem to be on the rise.Almost 40% of U.S.-based companies sent more employees overseas abroad in 2013 than they did in 2012, according to recent report on corporate relocations by movers Atlas Van Lines.Some employers offer cross-cultural training to managers they're sending overseas, but others — such as yours, apparently— expect people to figure it out for themselves.That can be tough, because even Americans who have traveled a lot on vacation often don't grasp how doing business differs across cultural lines.“A big factor in this is that American business norms are the most task-oriented in the world,” notes Erin Meyer, a professor of management at global business school INSEAD in France.“Managers are focused on the work.They just want to get the job done.” In many other countries, however — including China, Japan, Korea, and India, but also other places like Mexico, Brazil, and Nigeria — that approach not only doesn't work, it's considered downright offensive.“There's often much less of a dividing line between 'business' and 'personal,'” Meyer says.“So the managers who succeed are those who try to get to know colleagues at a deeper level” by, for instance, going out for lots of dinners where business is never discussed.It may strike many Americans as a waste of time but, says Meyer, “colleagues in other countries need to know and trust you before they can do business with you.” Meyer wrote a fascinating new book you might want to check out, The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business.Meanwhile, she has three suggestions for you on how to do better in China than your predecessor did, especially when it comes to getting people to be honest with you about what is going wrong.First, understand that the role of boss in China is not at all the same as in the U.S.“A Chinese boss is much more of a father, or mother, figure,” Meyer notes.“You need to get to know people individually and be much more involved in their personal lives, including helping them solve personal problems, than is usual for American managers.” Breaking through Asian employees' initial shyness and reserve takes some patience, she adds, but it's well worth the investment of time, because it creates the kind of loyalty and trust that makes people more willing to follow instructions at work — and, just as important, encourages people to be frank with you(about, for example, those “major production glitches” you mention).Second, says Meyer, “Learn to recognize the unsaid 'no.'” As the manager you're replacing seems to have learned the hard way, people raised in more hierarchical cultures have been taught that saying “no” to an authority figure is disrespectful.So is pointing out reasons why his or her ideas or instructions won't work.In a U.S.meeting, for example, the boss often expresses his or her point of view first and then asks for comments.“If you do that in China or any other more hierarchical society, everyone will feel obliged to agree with you,” Meyer says — even if they know perfectly well that you're dead wrong.亲爱的安妮：去年，我加入了一家跨国制造公司，担任项目经理。现在被派往位于中国的一家工厂，这是我的第一项海外任务。这是一次有重要意义的职业变动，因为我所在部门的所有高管都拥有丰富的国际经验。我对这次机会感到非常兴奋。

唯一让我有所顾虑的是，我被派往那里的目的是“扭转局面”，取代一位未能完成高层既定目标的同事。我曾问他遇到了哪些障碍，他说虽然自己反复解释了需要做什么，但他管理的团队依然我行我素。另外一个问题是，即使人们知道存在严重的生产故障，但没有人会说出来，直到问题严重到难以解决的程度。我该如何才能避免重蹈覆辙？您或您的读者有什么建议吗？——B.B.亲爱的B.B.：这是一个很有意思的问题，尤其是现在国际任务似乎越来越多。安家公司Atlas Van Lines在近期有关公司重新安置的报告中称，2013年，约40%的美国公司派驻海外的员工人数超过了2012年。有些员工会对即将派驻海外的管理人员提供跨文化培训，但有些公司却指望人们自己解决文化差异问题，你所在的公司就是一个明显的例子。

（靠自己克服文化差异）非常困难，因为即便是经常出国旅游度假的美国人，也弄不明白如何在不同的文化背景下开展业务。法国国际商学院欧洲工商管理学院（INSEAD）的管理学教授艾琳•迈耶说：“一个重要的因素是，全世界美国人的商业准则是最以任务为导向的。管理者们专注于工作。他们的想法很单纯，就是希望完成工作而已。”

但在其他许多国家，包括中国、日本、韩国和印度，以及墨西哥、巴西和尼日利亚等国家，这种方式却并不适合，相反，这被认为是一种彻彻底底的冒犯行为。

迈耶说：“在那些国家，‘生意’与‘个人’之间没有明确的界限。所以，能在那些国家成功的管理者，都会更深入地了解自己的同事，”例如，经常在一起用餐，但在饭桌上并不讨论业务问题。许多美国人会认为这是在浪费时间，但迈耶表示：“其他国家的同事首先需要了解和信任你，然后才能与你一起共事。”

迈耶出版的一本引人入胜的新书《文化版图：打破全球商业隐形壁垒》（The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business），或许值得你细细品读。此外，对于在中国，如何比前任做的更好，尤其是如何让人们开诚布公地向你反映问题，她给出了三条建议。

首先要理解的一点是，在中国，老板的角色与在美国并不相同。迈耶说：“中国老板更像是一个家庭中的父亲或母亲的角色。你需要了解每一个人，并且要摆脱美国管理者的习惯做法，要更多参与到他们的个人生活当中，包括解决他们的个人问题。”

她补充道，要突破亚洲员工最初的羞涩和自我保护，需要有耐心，但这值得投入时间，因为你的投入会给你带来忠诚和信任，让人们在工作中更愿意遵从你的指示——而且同样重要的是，鼓励人们对你坦诚相待（例如，关于你所提到的“严重的生产故障”）。

其次，迈耶表示：“学会辨认无言的拒绝。在更注重等级的文化中长大的人从小接受的教育是，对权威说‘不’是无礼的行为，你的前任似乎吃了一番苦头之后才终于明白了这一点。而这也是为什么他或她的理念或指示得不到执行的原因。”

例如，在美国的会议中，老板通常会首先表达自己的观点，然后要求其他人提出意见。迈耶说：“在中国或其他更注重等级的社会，如果你这么做，所有人只会感觉应该同意你的观点，”即便他们很清楚你错得离谱。

This plays out in other potentially disastrous ways, too.“If you ask a Chinese employee, 'Can you get this done in two weeks?' he or she will say something like, 'Yes, we will try,'” says Meyer.“But that is usually just politeness.If it comes with any hesitation, or a sigh, it probably means, 'No way in hell.'” Anything that “smells at all like a 'no,'” she adds, means that “you need to dig deeper to find out the real situation” — which is a lot easier if you've already built rapport.A third major difference between American and Chinese culture is that, in the latter, the group's consensus takes precedence over any individual's point of view.“You won't get honesty by putting anyone on the spot,” Meyer says.“Employees are not comfortable expressing their own opinion.They need to confer with each other first.” So it's a mistake to run team meetings the way you probably do in the U.S., calling on people one by one or expecting them to chime in with their thoughts.Instead, Meyer advises, “Suggest that the group have a short discussion without you — during a 15-minute coffee break, for instance, where you leave the room — and report back to you afterwards on how they see the situation.” That approach is much more likely to lead to the kind of candor you'll need to successfully turn things around.Talkback: If you've ever worked in a foreign culture, how was it different from doing a similar job in the U.S.? Leave a comment below.这种口是心非的情况也会出现在其他可能造成灾难的沟通方式中。迈耶说：“如果你问一名中国员工：‘你能在两周内把这项工作完成吗？’他或她会这样说：‘是的，我们会尽量。’而这通常只是出于礼貌。如果对方有任何犹豫或叹气，那么他们真实的意思可能是：‘根本不可能。’”她补充说，如果“感觉存在任何否定的意味”，这表明“你需要深入挖掘真实情况”——而如果已经与对方建立了亲密关系，这项工作便会容易得多。

中美文化的第三个主要差异在于，在中国，集体的意见高于个人观点。迈耶说：“如果当场询问，你不可能得到诚实的回答。员工不愿意表达自己的意见。他们需要先在私下里彼此协商。”

所以，按照在美国的方式召开团队会议，比如逐个要求员工或希望他们表达自己的想法，在中国可能行不通。相反，迈耶建议：“建议团队在你不在场的情况下，进行一次简短的讨论——例如在15分钟的休息时间，你可以离开会议室，之后要求他们向你报告他们对当前情况的看法。”通过这种方式，更有可能得到你所需要的坦白，帮助你成功地扭转局面。（财富中文网）

反馈：如果你曾在异国文化下工作，它与在美国类似的工作有什么区别？欢迎留言评论。

译者：刘进龙/汪皓

第三篇：读《三国》《水浒》,看职场潜规

读《三国》《水浒》，看职场潜规

文学是人学，是典型化了的社会生活写照，社会百态、忠奸恶善，一应俱全，下面采撷几朵花絮以飨读者。

一，好员工要学会适时跳槽。员工一定要对公司忠诚吗？这是最大的谬误，例如林冲，作为全国最大的公司——朝廷，已经丝毫没有留林冲的意思了，跳槽是他唯一正确的选择。

二，选老板比选公司重要。请诸葛亮出山前有三大公司可选：曹操、孙权、刘备。刘备连个地盘也没有，实力最差，公司风雨飘摇，诸葛亮看重了老板的忠诚，三顾之恩感动了他，跟刘备干，才华得到最大发挥，公司也由小变大，正所谓“良禽择木而栖，贤将择主而事”。

三，利用一切关系人脉资源是成功的捷径。庞统因貌丑，被孙权摒弃，投奔了刘皇叔，刘备也以貌取人只给了他一个小小的县令，一呆几年的光阴，幸好张飞发现了这个人才，后来见到刘备才拿出诸葛亮的推荐信，早干嘛去了！这么好的资源不用，光靠自己行吗？“好风凭借力——送我上浮云”。

四，老板不一定总为公司的利益着想。宋江作为梁山在位最长的老板，他最关心的是自己能坐更高的位子，以便为自己捞取更多的社会关系，因此，梁山集团及各位职员的利益，只是宋江实现自己利益的跳板与棋子，梁山接受招安成为必然。

五，后院起火永远是公司倒闭的一大根源。武大郎作为烧饼铺的老板，虽然生意微小，但能养家活命，无奈金莲红杏出墙，导致武大郎卿卿小命也没了。六，世袭制家族企业不会长久。刘备的儿子阿斗，扶不起来，孙家也是一代不如一代，曹家也被司马家族所取代，“家富不过三代”，选贤明的人接班才能保证公司兴旺发达。

七，健商比情商、智商更重要。“出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟”，如同一块木炭未燃烧就熄灭了，周郎雄姿英发，足智多谋，不假天年，吕蒙后起之秀，令人刮目相待，去是个病秧子。看人家司马懿，靠死了曹操、曹丕、曹睿三代人，谁活得长久，天下就是谁的了。

读《三国》《水浒》，看职场潜规则，不禁感慨万千。

第四篇：中美礼仪差异

由于各国的历史与文 化底蕴不同，各国人民在进行礼尚交往时的习惯也有不少差异。特别是中西方之间，礼仪上的差别很大，若不了解，就容易引起不必要的误会和损失。例如，在中国近代史上，由于中国闭关自守，对西方不了解，在一次希特勒举行的宴会上，一位中国使节按照在中国的习惯用餐巾去揩拭刀叉，殊不知这种做法在国外是极不礼貌的，仿佛是在责备刀叉不干净。希特勒一见之下，立即命令侍者将全体客人的餐具一律重新换过，使那位中国使节窘迫难堪。再例如，李鸿章曾应俾斯麦之邀前往赴宴，由于不懂西餐礼仪，把一碗吃水果后洗手的水喝了。当时俾斯麦不了解中国的虚实，为了不使李鸿章丢丑，他也将洗手水一饮而尽，见此情景，其他文武百官只能忍笑奉陪。在文化方面就美国来讲，中国人赞赏推崇的愚公移山，令全拿搬家不当回事的美国人大惑不解，他们会用智叟的语调发问：“他为什么不搬家？”中国人以谦虚为美德，而美国人对中国人“水平不高，能力有限”的自谦并不以为然，相反地他会认为你缺乏自信，不知有多少留学生在美国因为“谦虚”而推掉了饭碗。如此相反的结论，如此巨大的反差，是东西方存在的文化差异的显现。

造成这种差异的根本原因，是因为西方人和我们有着完全不同的世界观和价值取向。当然西方人也有许多地方是值得我们学习的。例如，中国游客在美旅游后准备买票回国，凭主观想象买票是肯定要排队的，但当他们进入售票大厅时，见窗口只有一个人在办理手续，另有几个人静静地坐在大厅的边上。我国的游客马上拥至窗口抢购机票，售票员在给中国游客办好机票后，微笑着对他们说：“下次买票请自觉排队，并用手指了指边上的人，当中国人回头看时，他们报微笑，使几个中国人真是无地自容。在现代的社会再犯这样的错误是不应该的，以自己的国情来看待别国才会出“洋相”，这有待于提高自己的文化素质，因此，了解中西方礼尚交往之间的习惯差异是很有必要的。若一无所知，就容易在与外国人交往时处于不利的形势。无论是在政治上，还是在经济贸易中，了解对方国家的礼仪习惯，是对对方的尊重，容易给对方留下一个好印象，以便交往的顺利进行。

首先要明确，东方文明和西方文明都是在一定的社会历史条件下产生和发展的，存在都是合理的，没有孰优孰劣的问题。就美国来说，它的历史只有短短200年，而它的人民是从各个地方移民而来的，可以说美国是一个“大熔炉”，它合众为一，众多不同民族和种族都融合在一起，很多人被同化了，不管什么肤色，不管讲何种语言，都自豪地称自己是美国人。他们的宗旨是永远向前看，遥望目力所及的前方，并且迈开双脚前进；自强自立，追求幸福，永不满足。这是他们良好的品质和素质，而他们信奉的誓言是：“只要我们能够梦想的我们就一定能够实现！”这是美国精神，是在英雄主义和献身精神的基础上建立起来的，以它短短200年的历史，创造了人类史上的灿烂文明，它所创造的生产力，比过去一切世代创造的全部生产力还要多，还要大，这就是美国的魅力。我们不能因为中国是拥有五千年传统文化的，就盲目自大，而应尊重别人，尊重他人的人格与习惯，这样交往才能顺利进行。所以了解、研究别国的礼仪就显得很有必要了。

下面，我们对美国的礼仪文化作点研究：

美国成立时间不长，国内各类移民又不计其数，因此美国的礼仪文化可以说是多种文化的汇合，有不少都与中国人的习惯截然相反。

一、见面的礼仪。

美国人见面时，不一定会握手，只要笑一笑，打个招呼就行了，即使是第一次见面，而中国人则视握手为一个基本礼节。但在中国握手并没有太多的限定，而美国人握手是有一定礼节的。例如男女之间，女方先伸出手，若女方无握手之意，男子就只能点头鞠躬致意；长幼之间由长辈先伸出手；上下级之间，由上级先伸出手；宾主之间由主人先伸出手。而且握手时应注视对方，并摘下手套，否则会被视为不礼貌。在美国，人们见面时喜欢直呼其名，这是亲切友好的表示，纵使交谈之初可能互相用姓称呼，但过一会儿就改称名字。而在中国，人们很喜欢被称为某某经理，某某总裁，因为这是身份与地位的象征。但在美国，人们很少用正式的头衔称呼别人，正式的头衔只用于法官、高级政府官员，军官，医生，教授和高级宗教人士。值得注意的是，美国从来不用行政职务如局长、经理、校长等头衔来称呼别人。另外，在与人交谈时，切不可谈及个人的私事，诸如年龄、婚姻、收入、信仰等等。看到别人买的东西不可问其价格；如果看到别人回来，也不能问他去哪儿了或者从哪里来，否则就会遭人厌恶，美国人常用“鼻子伸到人家私生活里来了”这句话来表示对提问人的轻蔑。而在中国，人们对个人隐私的界限远没有这么深刻，人们并不会在意别人对自己的生活作一般了解。但在中国人与美国人打交道时，在中国人看来很普通地问对方一些家庭情况，美国人就很可能认为你侵犯了他的隐私，别有用心，一桩生意很可能就这样泡汤了。

二、送礼、约会、作客的礼仪。

一般来说，美国人不随便送礼，礼物通常不很贵重，只是些书籍、文具、巧克力糖之类的物品，在探病时则以送鲜花与盆景为主。与中国不同的是，美国人以为单数是吉利的，有时只送三只梨也不感到菲薄，而中国则讲究成双成对。美国人在收到礼物时，一定要马上打开，当着送礼人的面欣赏或品尝礼物，并立即道谢。另外，美国人的礼物重视包装，很可能你收到一份里三层外三层精美包装的礼物，打开却只能是几颗巧克力糖而已，你也不要因此觉得失望，或者认为美国人小气，相对于礼物的价值，美国人更注重的是心意。

美国人办事重效率，往往每天都有严格的计划，因此去美国家庭作客都要提前预约，否则打乱了别人的计划，就会被认为是不速之客，吃闭门羹。所以应该提前一两天写信或打电话预约。一旦约定，就要准时到达，不能迟到，也不要太早到，因为客来之前，主妇都要布置客厅准备茶点，如果去早了，主妇尚未准备好，又要接待你，就造成许多不便。而那些规模较大的正式场合，守时更为重要，万一去早了，也应在外面等几分钟后再进去。

在进门之前，应该把鞋上的泥土擦干净，以免弄脏地板。进门后要摘帽。并把雨衣雨伞留在室外。然后先向女主人问好，再向男主人问好。若主人家宾朋满座，只需与主人和相识者握手，对其他人点头致意即可。如果主人请你坐，你就应该马上坐下，不要推托不坐下，也不要随意翻动主人的用品，更不可问用品的价格。作客时，不要轻易吸烟，如想吸时应问在座的女士是否介意，并先向其他人敬烟。若主人向你敬烟，即使你自己有烟，也要接受主人的烟，这与中国人的习惯不同，中国人往往会因为客气而有所推拒，但这在美国人眼里，他就会认为你看不起他，而使朋友之间关系变坏。作客时间一般不宜过长，但饭后不要立即告辞，应再与主人攀谈一会儿。若夫妇同去作客，应由妻子先起立告辞。如果你与主人不太熟，作客后应打电话或写短柬以表谢意。这样美国人会认为你很懂礼貌，从而留下一个好印象。

三、餐桌上的礼节。

在用餐时，应等到全体客人面前都上了菜，且女主人示意后才开始用餐。在女主人拿起她的勺子或叉子以前，客人不得食用任何一道菜。而中国人往往习惯一边上菜一边用餐，女主人往往是最后开始坐下进餐的。在用餐时，始终保持沉默在美国是不太礼貌的，但咀嚼食物时也不要讲话，讲话时不应放下刀叉，但也不要拿着刀叉乱晃。在餐桌前不应擤鼻涕或打嗝，如果打喷嚏或咳嗽也应向周围的人道歉。取菜时，最好每样都取一点，这样会使女主人愉快。用餐完毕后，女主人应先离座，客人再一起随着离开，餐巾放在桌上，不要照原来的样子折起，除非主人请你留下吃下顿饭。

在席间，主人应使谈话始终活泼而风趣，使每个客人都不受冷落。主人的吃饭速度不可太快，如果多数人已吃完，而少数人尚未吃完，更应放慢速度，以免使客人感到不安。席间，客人将刀叉掉在地上，应礼貌地为其换一把。若客人不慎将盘碗打碎，女主人应镇静地收拾干净，安慰客人，绝不能显出不悦之色。最后，主人绝不能在客人面前计算请客的花费。

四、服饰的礼仪

美国人的服装以体现个性为主，很难从穿着上看出他们是富有还是贫穷，他们的身份地位如何。如果是一位穿着时髦笔挺西装的男士，看上去似某大公司的老板，其实他可能是演艺界的艺员，甚至是一个美容美发师。穿着牛仔裤运动鞋旧T恤的，看似流浪汉，其实却可能是一位不修边幅的教授。因此，在美国，万万不可先敬罗衣后敬人。曾经有美国外商来华，接待人员乍一见便以为那西装笔挺的一定是老板要员，而忽视了一行人中的大胡子。虽然把热情过多地倾泻到了“西装笔挺”上，还好，也没冷落了“大胡子”。稍后，一介绍身份，方知道谁是真正的老板，而那个“西装笔挺”不过是雇员。因此在美国，穿得好的不一定有钱，穿得不好的不一定没钱。若简单地以衣帽取人，不仅会主次不分，使自己陷入窘境，而且会让美国人轻视。

虽然美国人穿着随便，不像欧洲人这么讲究，但在美国的穿着可谓“不怕穿破，不许穿错。”有许多场合，服饰有很严格的规定。例如，美国许多公司上班有专门设计订做的制服，在律师楼和银行上班的老板和职员们天天都是西装笔挺，而且每日均需要换，若两日相同，就容易被人误会是个夜晚没有回家更衣的人。再例如在美国举办各种宴会，往往在请柬上注明是否“黑领结”。如果注明了“黑领结”，男士则一定要穿无尾礼服，系黑色领结，女士必须穿晚礼服。这时，男士的长条领带，女士的裤装都上不了台面。如果没有注明“黑领结”，而表示是“正式穿着”，那么西服就可以上场。如果写的是“白领”，表示要穿燕尾服，系白色领带。因此什么宴会穿什么样的衣服，是很有讲究的。试想，如果在一个不怎么正式的场合，每个人都是一身短打扮，唯独你一个人身着深黑笔挺的燕尾服；或者每一个都云鬟高挽，长裙及地，唯独你一人一袭T恤，这种巨大的不协调，你自己不觉得张狂，别人也会看着你在人堆里悠悠晃晃不像个东西。而且在美国，这是对宴客的主人大不敬的明确表示，主人也会因此对你感到厌恶，从而与你断绝来往，这会是你的一大损失。因此注意场合与服装的搭配在美国尤为重要。

总之，美国与中国之间有不少不同的交往习惯，同样其它的西方国家，也有各自的文化习惯，因此在与外国人交往或者到别的国家去之前，了解对方国家的礼仪习惯是十分必要的，这不仅是对对方的尊重，也给自己带来了便利，避免了不必要的麻烦与误会，以便在多方竞争中争取主动，并能取得良好的结果。

第五篇：中美家庭差异(英)

三 江 学 院

本科生毕业设计（论文）

题 目中美家庭差异对比

学院 英语 专业 学生姓名学号 指导教师职称 指导教师工作单位

起讫日期 2016.11-2017.5

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In doing this thesis, I have benefited from the presence of my teachers and my classmates.They generously helped me collect materials I needed and made many invaluable suggestions.I hereby extend my grateful thanks to them for their kind help, without which the thesis would not have been what it is now.Particularly, I am deeply indebted to(自己填老师名字), who guided me throughout the entire process of writing this thesis.Her standards of academic excellence have made my revision an exciting and gratifying experience.Furthermore, none of this would have been possible without the help of thoseindividuals and organizations hereafter mentioned with gratitude:(自己填大学名字), the university library and its staff.ABSTRACT Family is the basic unit of society, and family members of the rules of conduct, living habits often affect the formation of this family values.Family values are generally recognized, it gradually formed a prototype of the social value system.These national values also represent the image of the people of the country to a certain extent.China and the United States due to cultural traditions, ideas, social customs and other aspects of the differences led to the two countries in the family values of many differences.In the context of cross-cultural communication between China and the United States to compare family ethics, education, marriage, etc., correctly understand and understand the differences between family values between the two countries, to cross-cultural communication to remove obstacles.The core proposition of this paper is family values.It is well known that family values are the core of the cultural value research system, which plays a decisive role in the behavior of family members.And the family is the epitome of the socio-economic form, is the most basic unit of social composition, so the family members of the valuesdirectly affect their words and behavior in society, that is, the values of society as a whole depends largely on the family Values, it can be seen that the role of family values is very important.The impact of family valueson people is important because family values are the starting point for people to accept value education.Second, the family members of the values once formed, it will not easily change, it will exist for a long time, and even affect people's life.Therefore, the impact of family values on people is more far-reaching, broad and lasting.Third, family values are closely related to the development of society.Therefore, the study of family values is necessary and important.Based on the thinking of crossChinese and American family cultures.4.Differences between Chinese and American Families Values 4.1 The Values of Chinese Families

China's history is long, its deep heritage to the Chinese social form is very clear and difficult to change.Chinese society is a collectivist cultural group, the core value of individual behavioral interests must obey the collective interests, therefore, the behavior of family members to meet the collective interests of their loved ones.The most direct manifestation of Chinese family ethics is the strong clan concept.In the context of the ancient agricultural economy and society, most of the rural areas are homed with the same ethnic groups, clan or family organizations have the production, education and even self-defense functions, the family mayor, in accordance with the family management family members.Now, the development of economy and society makes the form of clan change, the clan split into a family, but the clan concept has been inherited, still stressed the harmony between different levels of family members.Strong hierarchical concepts and the traditional moral system makes the clan between the clan to strict compliance, such as the call must be accurate.Respect for the long and young people have been living in the family, the young people must respect the elders, daily life to the elders to please, respect for smoke, seat, let way, eat when sitting is also very particular about the elderly in his later years Need to be supported.Filial piety, raising children and other traditional concepts reflect the characteristics of Chinese families.A child in a family before the general situation is the need to live with their parents, and even after marriage and their parents live together is also affirmed and praised.Life contact in marriage is also very close, often together to eat, meet, in the Spring Festival and other important festivals will meet, greetings.This kind of spiritual contact and concern is a deep-rooted standard of Chinese family clan concept, often not with the social change, the development of the times and change.4.2 The Values of American Families The history of the United States is relatively short, as a new system from the British society split out of the country, it has before the traditional British classical social values, but more of a variety of cultural inclusion and recognition, and gradually formed a large fusion Of the nation.American society advocates the recognition of personal dignity, respect for human personality is the basic composition of its social value.The concept of family gradually formed in the family also makes the recognition of individual rights to the point where nothing is added.In the United States, both economic, political, and cultural are impacted by the principle of personality first, American family values are influenced by this principle.Therefore, in American society, often pay great attention to the cultivation of individual thinking, the collective concept is relatively lacking.From the American society to see the value of the composition of the family, you can understand that this family concept is individual-centered, respect for the individual on the first place.American children in adulthood, with independent ability, the family is independent of the individual, the young people will take the initiative to divorce from the original family, even in the major festivals did not meet the moral requirements, even if not family and Reunion is not condemned, which in a certain sense is respect for the individual's rights.Personal status is protected in a family, and the integrity of the family can not replace personal decisions.And in the family of their own relatives are more general terms, the title of the simplification is also to a certain extent, showing the recognition of social habits.China's respect for the class, the collective sense of identity makes in the decision-making of large things on the more consistent, more efficient transmission of information capabilities, but the personality has been a certain degree of repression;American concept too much respect for individuals, making the United States Collective concept is relatively weak, clan concept is not strong, some collective projects to be successful to do is relatively difficult.5.Differences in Family Education between China and America The family is the most important place for enlightenment education for children, and plays an important role in the development of good habits and the development of intelligence.Family education is the most important part of all the earliest education, it is the child's thinking mode and the formation of the world view of great significance.Deng Xiaoping once said: “The basis of national modernization in the talent, the basis of talent in education, education based on the family.” China is a country that attaches importance to family education, China's deep educational and cultural traditions contain excellent family education components.For thousands of years, many people in the field of family education hard work, accumulated a lot of fruitful results.The difference between Chinese and American educational concepts has always been the focus of discussion.In the family environment, we can significantly feel the impact of family ideas on the growth of children.Social environment mapping in the concept of family education, making the concept of family education in China and China have a huge difference.5.1 Family Education in China

Chinese education, we can see the phenomenon is often the child to comply with the teacher, the parents of the arrangements, conservative and objective accumulation of basic knowledge, divergent thinking is weak, the attitude of learning is also very obedient arrangements for elders, this compromise led to students Of stereotypes, sluggish, lack of creativity.In the family education, parents attach importance to the number of children, moral education, the traditional essence of Chinese culture to the modern society.In the formal education is often very important to the performance of the child, the academic performance as a good identification of a very important measure of the expectations of the child is very high, expect them to succeed, meteoric rise.This leads to the child's daily education is extremely strict, and will not consider the child's nature of the shape, not to find children grow up in line with their personality.Therefore, in China's education can often be extreme phenomena, there can be extreme genius, but also often caused by excessive pressure caused by tragedy.Chinese parents attach great importance to the social adaptability of education, they often in accordance with the established model to develop their children, but often overlooked from the child's physical and mental development characteristics to promote its growth.They look forward to their children have a bright future, more emphasis on academic tendencies, that the child as long as the results are good, what problems can be resolved.Whether the child in the future, whether to find a good career, whether in the good times through life, these are the purpose of parental education.Based on this expectation, many parents believe that the parents of the child's responsibility is to let them live better, parents give them how much happiness to give them how much happiness.If you can give children to create the most favorable living conditions, so hard and willing to.5.2 Family Education in America

American families place children's independence and autonomy in an important position, focusing on the ability of children to adapt to a variety of environments and to survive independently.They argue that the purpose of education is not to prepare a living, but to prepare for survival.What they emphasize is the value of shaping the mind, a value that is unrelated to utilitarian or occupation.Based on this concept, they attach great importance to the child's own exercise, such as labor training, will exercise, but the most fundamental is to adapt to a variety of hardships and training of labor ability.Through the labor, let the children from childhood to develop a sense of independence and love of labor habits.In the labor and hardships to overcome difficulties, temper the will, develop their own strengths, growth and talent, to develop hard, frugal good quality.They generally believe that the growth of children must rely on their own strength, so since childhood to focus on training their self-reliance and independent living ability.American family education is focused on the identity of the child's nature, giving children the freedom to judge the power of things.This psychological buffer makes the child in the learning process can accept a lot of innovative thinking, the child's education is not limited to basic education.Relative to the focus of Chinese education on basic education, the United States is more inclined to practice.American children's freedom of control over the weekend is far greater than the Chinese children.So we can see the Chinese children are in a pressure environment to come out, the United States children in the free and open space to learn things to judge and understanding.This practice of learning is more conducive to their integration into the community, but also give them a wide range of values to choose the face.The development of children in the American family education model is more comprehensive, which makes the children in the American family earlier self-reliance, early contact with the community, the vision is more open.Chinese children in the family, education is more conservative, lack of innovation in thinking, but the basic knowledge is very solid.American education of people-oriented, excessive human indulgence will produce a relatively weak basic education phenomenon.Two kinds of education only learn from each other, to find a suitable fit point in order to achieve the optimization of education.6.Conclusion

Under the influence of different cultural values of the two countries, China and the United States have significant differences in family values.In the traditional culture of China and the United States, Chinese families are mostly used for generations.US President Bill Clinton praised the Chinese family values.Indeed, thousands of years of Confucian culture created the obligations of family members in the Chinese family-a parental responsibility, mutual support and interdependence among family members;parental respect for children in American families , The child is very young to learn for their own American rights and mother fight.There are differences between Chinese and American family values.This kind of difference embodies the nationalities and regionalities.We can not simply summarize them with differences or fusion, but only analyze the commonness and characteristics of family values in different countries in different historical periods.Only by overcoming the prejudice of European and American cultural centers can help to deepen the understanding of the uniqueness and integrity of the national family culture and social culture in order to promote mutual understanding and exchange.Today, the traditional family values of China and the United States have been hit hard by the growing globalization, and have undergone tremendous changes.We can not say which family values are better.However, with the international exchange and cultural integration of the highly developed era, the Chinese family members of the independent consciousness and respect for the independence of the consciousness is strengthened, the US family will also promote family members to each other mutual cooperation and common development.We can not expect the perfect unity of Sino-American family values, and we expect to maximize the cost of integration of different family values.In a variety of different family values set up a bridge between the communication, so that the perception of another family values from unfamiliar to cognitive, but also by the recognition to recognition, and finally slowly blending through.Thus we can see that strengthening the study and research of family values in different cultural backgrounds is of great practical significance for us to engage in cross-cultural communication and build a harmonious society.References [1] Datesman, Maryanne, Joann, American Ways: An Introduction to American Culture ,published by Pearson Education, Inc.2005.[2] Bert N., Adams,Handbook of world families, Stage Publication Inc.2005.[3] Marvin B.Sussman, Handbook of marriage and the family, Plenum Press, 1998.[4] John Locke, Of Civil Government, Second Treatise, Chicago,Henry Regency Company，1999.[5] Schwab J J.Gray-Ice H.M., Family Functioning-The General Living Sytem Research Model, New York 233 Spring: Kluwer Academic/Plenum Pub1ishers, 2000.[6］孟小佳．论中美家庭在教育方式上的差异［J］．前沿，2010，(11): 193～ 195．

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