桑德伯格在加州大学伯克利分校2016毕业典礼上的演讲

第一篇：桑德伯格在加州大学伯克利分校2016毕业典礼上的演讲

Facebook COO 雪莉·桑德伯格在加州大学伯克利分校2016毕业典礼上的演讲

5月14日，Facebook 首席运营官、《向前一步》作者雪莉•桑德伯格（Sheryl Sandberg）在加州大学伯克利分校（UC Berkeley）2016毕业典礼上发表演讲。在丈夫离世一年之际，她讲到了痛失爱人的痛苦以及应付挫折的韧性。丈夫去世后，她在“向前一步”方面有些新思考，近来也引发不少讨论。

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY 2016 Commencement Address Thank you, Marie.And thank you esteemed members of the faculty, proud parents, devoted friends, squirming siblings.Congratulations to all of you…and especially to the magnificent Berkeley graduating class of 2016!It is a privilege to be here at Berkeley, which has produced so many Nobel Prize winners, Turing Award winners, astronauts, members of Congress, Olympic gold medalists….and that’s just the women!

Berkeley has always been ahead of the times.In the 1960s, you led the Free Speech Movement.Back in those days, people used to say that with all the long hair, how do we even tell the boys from the girls? We now know the answer: manbuns.Early on, Berkeley opened its doors to the entire population.When this campus opened in 1873, the class included 167 men and 222 women.It took my alma mater another ninety years to award a single degree to a single woman.One of the women who came here in search of opportunity was Rosalind Nuss.Roz grew up scrubbing floors in the Brooklyn boardinghouse where she lived.She was pulled out of high school by her parents to help support their family.One of her teachers insisted that her parents put her back into school—and in 1937, she sat where you are sitting today and received a Berkeley degree.Roz was my grandmother.She was a huge inspiration to me and I’m so grateful that Berkeley recognized her potential.I want to take a moment to offer a special congratulations to the many here today who are the first generation in their families to graduate from college.What a remarkable achievement.Today is a day of celebration.A day to celebrate all the hard work that got you to this moment.Today is a day of thanks.A day to thank those who helped you get here—nurtured you, taught you, cheered you on, and dried your tears.Or at least the ones who didn’t draw on you with a Sharpie when you fell asleep at a party.Today is a day of reflection.Because today marks the end of one era of your life and the beginning of something new.A commencement address is meant to be a dance between youth and wisdom.You have the youth.Someone comes in to be the voice of wisdom—that’s supposed to be me.I stand up here and tell you all the things I have learned in life, you throw your cap in the air, you let your family take a million photos –don’t forget to post them on Instagram —and everyone goes home happy.Today will be a bit different.We will still do the caps and you still have to do the photos.But I am not here to tell you all the things I’ve learned in life.Today I will try to tell you what I learned in death.I have never spoken publicly about this before.It’s hard.But I will do my very best not to blow my nose on this beautiful Berkeley robe.One year and thirteen days ago, I lost my husband, Dave.His death was sudden and unexpected.We were at a friend’s fiftieth birthday party in Mexico.I took a nap.Dave went to work out.What followed was the unthinkable—walking into a gym to find him lying on the floor.Flying home to tell my children that their father was gone.Watching his casket being lowered into the ground.For many months afterward, and at many times since, I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief—what I think of as the void—an emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even to breathe.Dave’s death changed me in very profound ways.I learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss.But I also learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again.I learned that in the face of the void—or in the face of any challenge—you can choose joy and meaning.I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that today, as you take the next step in your life, you can learn the lessons that I only learned in death.Lessons about hope, strength, and the light within us that will not be extinguished.Everyone who has made it through Cal has already experienced some disappointment.You wanted an A but you got a B.OK, let’s be honest—you got an A-but you’re still mad.You applied for an internship at Facebook, but you only got one from Google.She was the love of your life… but then she swiped left.Game of Thrones the show has diverged way too much from the books—and you bothered to read all four thousand three hundred and fifty-two pages.You will almost certainly face more and deeper adversity.There’s loss of opportunity: the job that doesn’t work out, the illness or accident that changes everything in an instant.There’s loss of dignity: the sharp sting of prejudice when it happens.There’s loss of love: the broken relationships that can’t be fixed.And sometimes there’s loss of life itself.Some of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible mark.Last year, Radhika, the winner of the University Medal, spoke so beautifully about the sudden loss of her mother.The question is not if some of these things will happen to you.They will.Today I want to talk about what happens next.About the things you can do to overcome adversity, no matter what form it takes or when it hits you.The easy days ahead of you will be easy.It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are.You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.A few weeks after Dave died, I was talking to my friend Phil about a father-son activity that Dave was not here to do.We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave.I cried to him, “But I want Dave.” Phil put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available.So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”

We all at some point live some form of option B.The question is: What do we do then? As a representative of Silicon Valley, I’m pleased to tell you there is data to learn from.After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P’s—personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship.The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.The first P is personalization—the belief that we are at fault.This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do.This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.When Dave died, I had a very common reaction, which was to blame myself.He died in seconds from a cardiac arrhythmia.I poured over his medical records asking what I could have—or should have—done.It wasn’t until I learned about the three P’s that I accepted that I could not have prevented his death.His doctors had not identified his coronary artery disease.I was an economics major;how could I have? Studies show that getting past personalization can actually make you stronger.Teachers who knew they could do better after students failed adjusted their methods and saw future classes go on to excel.College swimmers who underperformed but believed they were capable of swimming faster did.Not taking failures personally allows us to recover—and even to thrive.The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life.You know that song “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There’s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness.The child psychologists I spoke to encouraged me to get my kids back to their routine as soon as possible.So ten days after Dave died, they went back to school and I went back to work.I remember sitting in my first Facebook meeting in a deep, deep haze.All I could think was, “What is everyone talking about and how could this possibly matter?” But then I got drawn into the discussion and for a second—a brief split second—I forgot about death.That brief second helped me see that there were other things in my life that were not awful.My children and I were healthy.My friends and family were so loving and they carried us—quite literally at times.The loss of a partner often has severe negative financial consequences, especially for women.So many single mothers—and fathers—struggle to make ends meet or have jobs that don’t allow them the time they need to care for their children.I had financial security, the ability to take the time off I needed, and a job that I did not just believe in, but where it’s actually OK to spend all day on Facebook.Gradually, my children started sleeping through the night, crying less, playing more.The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever.For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.We often project our current feelings out indefinitely—and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings.We feel anxious—and then we feel anxious that we’re anxious.We feel sad—and then we feel sad that we’re sad.Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever.My rabbi told me that time would heal but for now I should “lean in to the suck.” It was good advice, but not really what I meant by “lean in.”

None of you need me to explain the fourth P…which is, of course, pizza from Cheese Board.But I wish I had known about the three P’s when I was your age.There were so many times these lessons would have helped.Day one of my first job out of college, my boss found out that I didn’t know how to enter data into Lotus 1-2-3.That’s a spreadsheet—ask your parents.His mouth dropped open and he said, ‘I can’t believe you got this job without knowing that”—and then walked out of the room.I went home convinced that I was going to be fired.I thought I was terrible at everything… but it turns out I was only terrible at spreadsheets.Understanding pervasiveness would have saved me a lot of anxiety that week.I wish I had known about permanence when I broke up with boyfriends.It would’ve been a comfort to know that feeling was not going to last forever, and if I was being honest with myself… neither were any of those relationships.And I wish I had understood personalization when boyfriends broke up with me.Sometimes it’s not you—it really is them.I mean, that dude never showered.And all three P’s ganged up on me in my twenties after my first marriage ended in divorce.I thought at the time that no matter what I accomplished, I was a massive failure.The three P’s are common emotional reactions to so many things that happen to us—in our careers, our personal lives, and our relationships.You’re probably feeling one of them right now about something in your life.But if you can recognize you are falling into these traps, you can catch yourself.Just as our bodies have a physiological immune system, our brains have a psychological immune system—and there are steps you can take to help kick it into gear.One day my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think about how much worse things could be.This was completely counterintuitive;it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts.“Worse?” I said.“Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.” Wow.The moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly grateful that the rest of my family was alive and healthy.That gratitude overtook some of the grief.Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience.People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier.It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings.My New Year’s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night.This simple practice has changed my life.Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful.Try it.Start tonight when you have so many fun moments to list— although maybe do it before you hit Kip’s and can still remember what they are.Last month, eleven days before the anniversary of Dave’s death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine.We were sitting—of all places—on a bathroom floor.I said: “Eleven days.One year ago, he had eleven days left.And we had no idea.” We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had eleven days left.As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had eleven days left? I don’t mean blow everything off and party all the time— although tonight is an exception.I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be.How precious every day actually is.A few years ago, my mom had to have her hip replaced.When she was younger, she always walked without pain.But as her hip disintegrated, each step became painful.Now, even years after her operation, she is grateful for every step she takes without pain—something that never would have occurred to her before.As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true.I have a huge reservoir of sadness that is with me always—right here where I can touch it.I never knew I could cry so often—or so much.But I am also aware that I am walking without pain.For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out—grateful for the gift of life itself.I used to celebrate my every five years and friends’ birthdays sometimes.Now I celebrate always.I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day—and trust me that list was often quite long.Now I try really hard to focus on each day’s moments of joy.It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husban d helped me find deeper gratitude—gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children.My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude—not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.There are so many moments of joy ahead of you.That trip you always wanted to take.A first kiss with someone youreally like.The day you get a job doing something you truly believe in.Beating Stanford.(Go Bears!)All of these things will happen to you.Enjoy each and every one.I hope that you live your life—each precious day of it—with joy and meaning.I hope that you walk without pain—and that you are grateful for each step.And when the challenges come, I hope you remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow.You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience.Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it.In that process you will figure out who you really are—and you just might become the very best version of yourself.Class of 2016, as you leave Berkeley, build resilience.Build resilience in yourselves.When tragedy or disappointment strike, know that you have the ability to get through absolutely anything.I promise you do.As the saying goes, we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined.Build resilient organizations.If anyone can do it, you can, because Berkeley is filled with people who want to make the world a better place.Never stop working to do so—whether it’s a boardroom that is not representative or a campus that’s not safe.Speak up, especially at institutions like this one, which you hold so dear.My favorite poster at work reads, “Nothing at Facebook is someone else’s problem.” When you see something that’s broken, go fix it.Build resilient communities.We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections to one another.Be there for your family and friends.And I mean in person.Not just in a message with a heart emoji.Lift each other up, help each other kick the shit out of option B—and celebrate each and every moment of joy.You have the whole world in front of you.I can’t wait to see what you do with it.Congratulations, and Go Bears!

桑德伯格在加州大学伯克利分校2016毕业典礼上的演讲

谢谢玛丽。谢谢尊敬的老师们、光荣的父母、忠诚的朋友，兄弟姐妹们。祝贺所有人……尤其是伯克利2016的毕业生们！

在伯克利求学是一件幸事，这里出过众多的诺贝尔奖得主、图灵奖获得者、宇航员、国会议员和奥运会金牌得主……而且都有女性！伯克利从来走在时代前列。上世纪60年代，你们的前辈们倡导了言论自由运动。当时还有人说，如果男女都留长发要怎么分辨呢？现在早就有答案了：男生可以梳发髻。

其实在那之前伯克利就已兼容并包。伯克利1873年建校，第一届学生中有167名男生，222名女生。我的母校（哈佛大学——译者注）过了90年后才向女性颁发第一个学位。

曾经有一位女性来到这里求学，她的名字是罗莎琳德•努斯•罗姿。罗姿在纽约布鲁克林一处公寓里长大，靠擦地为生。高中时，她的父母让她辍学养家，幸好被一位老师及时劝服才能继续上学。1937年，她从伯克利毕业了，就坐在你们现在的位置。故事里的罗姿是我的祖母。直到现在，她的经历都是我强大的精神支柱。非常感谢伯克利当年慧眼识才。我还要特别恭喜成为家中第一代大学生的才俊，你们非常了不起！

今天值得庆祝，你们付出了很多努力才走到今天。

今天应该感谢。要感谢帮助你们一步步走到这里的人，感谢培养你，教导你，鼓励你，为你擦过眼泪的人。

至少也该感谢你在聚会上睡着后没用记号笔在你脸上乱画的小伙伴们。今天应该沉思。因为今天意味着你生命中一个时代结束，一个新时代开始。毕业典礼致词仿佛一场青春和智慧之间的交锋。台下青春洋溢，演讲台上睿智深刻。今天我本应跟你们分享一些人生经验。然后，你们把帽子扔到空中，和家人拍照留影，——不要忘了发布在Instagram上，最后大家都高高兴兴地回家。但今天会有点不一样。或许你们还是会扔帽子，还是会拍很多照片。但我今天不想传授生活方面的经验，而是想讲讲从亲人离世后的领悟。我以前从未公开谈论过这件事，其实很难说出口。我会尽量控制住情绪免得哭出来，弄脏这件漂亮的伯克利长袍不太好。

一年零13天前，我的丈夫戴夫去世了，很突然也很意外。我们去墨西哥参加朋友的50岁生日聚会。我睡了个午觉，戴夫去锻炼。接下来的事完全不可想象，我走进健身房看见他躺在地板上。后来我坐飞机回家将这个不幸的消息告诉了孩子们，最后亲眼看着他的棺材下葬。他去世后好几个月里，我经常悲伤得无法自已，内心只觉得一片无尽的空虚四处蔓延，占据了五脏六腑，我无力思考，甚至感觉像要窒息。戴夫的死深刻地改变了我。我终于明白了什么叫切肤之痛，也体会到痛失所爱的残酷。但我也明白了，当生活给你当头一棒，堕入悲伤之海，你能做的就是奋力游向水面，大口呼吸。我明白了，即便悲伤至空虚，或是面对巨大挑战，你仍然可以选择快乐和有意义的生活。我跟你们分享亲人离世的感受，是希望能在你们走上社会时就能理解失去的痛苦，明白什么是希望、力量和心中永不熄灭的火苗。

每个从伯克利毕业的人肯定都经历过挫折。你想考A，结果只得到一个B。你申请到Facebook实习，结果只能去谷歌。你全心爱她，她却甩了你…… 电视剧《权力的游戏》太不尊重原著，你就去看完了4320页的书……

生活中总会碰到很多难处理的事。有时错失机会：工作不合适，遭遇疾病或事故因而一切瞬间改变。有时尊严尽失：刻薄的偏见常常刺痛人心。有时缘尽人散：亲密关系一旦破碎就难重圆。有时不仅是生离，还要面临死别。你们当中有些人已然历经刻骨的悲剧和苦难。去年大学奖章得主拉迪卡曾发表演讲，动情讲述了母亲突然去世的悲痛。问题不是这些事情会不会发生，它们迟早都会来的。我想说的是发生之后怎么办，不管什么困难也不管具体什么时候遭遇，关键是怎样从困境中振作起来。其实只有经历了真正难捱的日子，被逼到崩溃边缘，你才能真正了解自己。要发掘真实的内心，不仅要看取得的成就，更要看逆境中如何奋起。戴夫去世几个星期后，我和我的朋友菲尔谈论一场要父亲参加的亲子活动。戴夫不在了，我们只好找别人代替他。我哭着对他说：“但我只想要戴夫。”菲尔搂住我说：“A计划不行了，将就将就用B计划吧。”

我们总会碰到不尽如人意只能用B计划的时候，问题是：该怎么面对？

可能有点硅谷的职业病吧，我想说走出挫折也要科学对待。心理学家马丁•塞利格曼（Martin Seligman）研究几十年后发现，从苦难中振作起来关键是做到三点——不要过分自责（personalization）、不要过分解读（pervasiveness）以及不要以为伤痛永远不褪（permanence）。挺过生活中一次次打击，才能慢慢磨炼出韧性。

不要过分自责，就是说不要把悲伤的原因揽到自己身上。承担责任是应该的，但是痛苦时不要过分情绪化，要清楚一件事，并不是所有的坏事都是自己造成的。戴夫去世后我就忍不住责怪自己。他在几秒钟内死于心脏病突发。我翻遍他的病历寻找线索，看看我要是做了什么，戴夫就不会死。明白这三条原则之后，我才慢慢接受不管怎样都救不了他这个事实。他的医生们没发现他有心脏病，我一个学经济的又怎么可能发现呢？

研究表明减少过分自责确实会让人强大起来。学生挂科之后老师与其后悔没尽力，不如努力改进教学方法帮助以后的学生取得好成绩。大学里游泳运动员成绩不理想，但是只要坚信可以游得更好，就能实现。只有走出过分自责的阴影，才能尽快恢复，甚至督促自己做得更好。第二条不要过分解读，就是不要笃定坏事一定会影响生活中每个角落。有一首歌叫《一切都是极好的》，反过来就是《一切都是可怕的》。人们常常会以为悲伤大过天，根本无处可逃。

我跟儿童心理学家聊了之后，他让我尽快恢复孩子们的日常习惯。戴夫去世十天后，他们回到学校，我则回到工作岗位。我记得回去上班后头一次开会，精神都是恍惚的。我心里想的都是，“他们都在说什么，这些小事有什么好说的？”但后来我加入讨论，说着说着突然有那么一瞬，我好像忘记了死亡的悲痛。

那短暂的一瞬让我明白，生活中还有一些事没那么糟糕。毕竟，我跟孩子们都很健康，亲朋好友都那么关心支持我们，那段时间真的多亏他们撑着我才没垮。失去伴侣往往会伴随巨大的经济打击，女性更是如此。许多单身母亲和父亲都在非常努力工作，没什么时间照看孩子。跟他们比我不用担心经济来源，能抽出时间照顾孩子，而且我有一份很好的工作。渐渐地，孩子们晚上能睡踏实了，哭闹少了，又愿意玩了。

第三条是不要以为伤痛永远不褪，就是相信痛苦会一直继续。戴夫去世后有几个月，无论我做什么都能感觉到令人窒息的悲伤，而且从来没有减轻的迹象。我们总是觉得当前不好的感觉会无限延伸，而且不良情绪还会滋生副产品。我们感到焦虑，然后因为焦虑而焦虑；感到伤心，然后因为伤心而伤心。实际上，我们应该诚实面对自己的感觉，然后认清事实，其实所有感觉都不会永远持续。我的拉比（犹太教里的精神导师——译者注）说，时间会治愈一切，我也得学会“向前一步”。这是个好建议，不过我写书时说的“向前一步”其实不完全是这个意思。其实还有第四个原则，就是美味的披萨，不用解释了吧……

言归正传，我真的很希望在你们这个年龄就知道这三条原则。许多时候，这些经验都很有用。

我大学毕业后做第一份工作时，老板发现我不会把数据录入莲花1-2-3（莲花公司的电子表格软件——译者注）。莲花1-2-3是个电子表格——你们的爸妈可能知道。他张大嘴说：“连这个都不会，真不知道你怎么进来公司的。” 然后就走出去了。晚上回家我觉得要被炒鱿鱼，然后觉得我什么事都做不好……但事实证明，我只是不会做电子表格而已。如果我当时就能明白不要过分解读，没必要一时难过就否定一切，当时就不会那么焦虑。我跟男朋友提出分手时，要是明白痛苦并不会一直持续就好了。如果我当时知道再难受也会慢慢缓解，如果我能诚实面对自己，就会安慰很多，不过我都没做到。男朋友和我分手时，我要是懂得不要过分自责就好了。有时真的不是我的错，错的是他们。说了你可能都不信，这家伙从来不洗澡。

我20多岁时第一次婚姻以离婚告终，这三条原则一条都没做到。当时的感觉是不管我做成过什么，最后还是一败涂地。

这三条原则针对的是我们遇到许多事情后常见的反应，不管是事业上，个人生活里，还是人际关系中。没准你现在就正在经历一些挫折。不过，如果你能清醒地发现陷阱，还有自救的机会。我们的身体里都有免疫系统，其实大脑里也有精神免疫系统，只是要用点办法才能启动。有一天，我的心理学家朋友亚当•格兰特建议我换个角度思考，想象事情可能会更糟糕。刚一听让人挺难接受的。“更糟？”我说。“开玩笑吗？都这样了还能怎么糟。”我说。他回答道：“想象一下戴夫开车时突发心脏病，孩子们也都在车里。”天呐！那一刻，我突然很感激孩子们都没事，还健康地活着。感激之后悲伤也减轻了一点。

常怀感激之情是走出悲伤的关键。多花点时间列出值得感恩的事，就会更快乐也更健康。事实证明，多数数身边的好事，好事真的会越变越多。我今年的新年决心就是，每天晚上睡觉前写下三件当天高兴的事。做起来其实不难，但已经改变了我的生活。因为不管每天发生了什么，我睡觉的时候都在想着快乐的事。今晚开始试一下吧，今天肯定就有很多开心的事可以列。希望今晚你们临睡前都还记得。

上个月有一天，我想到还有11天戴夫逝世就满周年了，在一个朋友面前忍不住痛哭，当时我们还坐在浴室地板上。我说：“11天。一年前的今天，他的生命只剩下11天了，我们却不知道。”我们望着彼此都忍不住痛哭，然后问对方如果知道生命只剩下11天会如何生活。

你们毕业了，以后能像生命只剩下11天一样去生活吗？我的意思不是让你们抛下一切，每天都去聚会狂欢，当然今晚例外。我的意思是要明白每天都很珍贵。每一天都要珍惜不能浪费。

几年前，我母亲做手术换了髋关节。她年轻时走路总是会疼，髋关节粉碎性骨折之后每一步都疼痛难忍。现在做完手术好几年了，她还会经常感激走路不会疼，因为手术前根本无法想象。

如今我人生中最惨的一天过去已经一年了，我能确定两件事情是真实的。第一，我心中巨大的悲伤会永远挥之不去，就在这，我都能触摸到。还有就是以前我从来没想过我能天天哭，泪水能那么多。

但我也能确定我可以轻松走路，不用忍受疼痛。有生以来第一次，我感激每一次呼吸，感激自己的生命。过去我每五年过一次生日，朋友的生日只是偶尔庆祝。现在，每次我都不错过。过去我睡觉前总是在想当天有多少事没做好，其实经常搞砸很多。而现在我会集中精神想当天高兴的事。说起来可能有点讽刺，我失去了丈夫，却因此体会到更深的感激——感谢朋友们的好意、感谢家人的爱，感谢孩子们的欢笑。我希望你们也能学会感激，不仅是在好日子里感激，比方说今天，在艰难的日子里更要感激，到那时感激之情对你们的帮助更大。

你们的人生道路上还有许多快乐的时刻。比如一直想去的旅行，与你真正喜欢的人的初吻，一份真正热爱的工作。还有击败斯坦福（加油金熊队！）美好的事情都会到来，尽情享受吧。

希望你们今后的每一天都充满快乐充实，希望你们的每一步都轻松自在没有痛苦，希望你们会意识到这一切值得感激。面对挑战时，希望你们记住最重要的是学习和成长的能力。你们面对挫折的韧性并非固定不变。像肌肉一样，韧性是可以锻炼的，需要时就可以发挥作用。成长过程中你会慢慢了解自我，而且可能已经变成最好的自己。2016的毕业生们，在你离开伯克利时，记得锻炼韧性。

加强自身克服困难的韧性。悲剧或挫折来临时，你会知道自己有能力挺过去。相信我，你们可以的。常言道，我们比想象中脆弱，但也比想象中强大。

打造坚韧的团体。别人能做到，你也可以，因为从伯克利走出去的都是想把世界变得更美好的人。董事会或许不太完善，校园也可能不太安全，但永远不要放弃努力。大胆地说出意见，尤其是在伯克利这么难得的自由校园。办公室里我最喜欢的一幅海报上写着，“在Facebook任何事都不应该推给别人。”发现有什么事需要做，那就去做。建立强大的社区，人类都是通过与旁人的联系找到自我认同的，在群体中人们才有生存的愿望，才能学会爱。要及时帮助家人朋友，一定要亲自去，不要在手机上发条信息加个心形表情就算交差了。

互相扶持，帮助他人走出困境，庆祝每一个欢乐的时刻。整个世界就在你们面前。我真的很期待你们的成就！恭喜毕业，加油金熊队！

第二篇：桑德伯格16年加州大学伯克利分校毕业典礼演讲

硅谷版―安迪‖：桑德伯格16年加州大学伯克利分校毕业典礼演讲

她是硅谷版的―安迪‖，Facebook的二当家，周末加州大学伯克利分校的毕业典礼上分享了自己经历

然而正在她事业蓬勃之际，她的丈夫却早早撒手人寰，她又有着惊人的毅力克服悲痛。

在丈夫去世一年后，Facebook首席运营官雪莉·桑德伯格学会了如何更有韧性。她在周末加州大学伯克利分校的毕业典礼上分享了自己的经历，并有可能将其写入自己的第二本书中。在演讲过程中，她数度哽咽。

马克·扎克伯格在桑德伯格这篇演讲的下面评论：―如此美丽而又激励人心，谢谢你。‖

Thank you, Marie.And thank you esteemed members of the faculty, proud parents, devoted friends, squirming siblings.谢谢玛丽。谢谢尊敬的老师们、自豪的父母、忠诚的朋友们，各位同仁。Congratulations to all of you…and especially to the magnificent Berkeley graduating class of 2016!祝贺所有人……尤其是伯克利2016级的毕业生们！

It is a privilege to be here at Berkeley, which has produced so many Nobel Prize winners, Turing Award winners, astronauts, members of Congress, Olympic gold medalists….and that‘s just the women!

在伯克利求学是一件幸事，这里出过众多的诺贝尔奖得主、图灵奖获得者、宇航员、国会议员和奥运会金牌得主……而且都有女性！

Berkeley has always been ahead of the times.In the 1960s, you led the Free Speech Movement.Back in those days, people used to say that with all the long hair, how do we even tell the boys from the girls? We now know the answer: manbuns.伯克利从来走在时代前列。上世纪60年代，你们的前辈们倡导了言论自由运动。当时还有人说，如果男女都留长发要怎么分辨呢？现在早就有答案了：男生可以梳发髻。

Early on, Berkeley opened its doors to the entire population.When this campus opened in 1873, the class included 167 men and 222 women.It took my alma mater another ninety years to award a single degree to a single woman.其实在那之前伯克利就已兼容并包。伯克利1873年建校，第一届学生中有167名男生，222名女生。我的母校（哈佛大学——译者注）过了90年后才向女性颁发第一个学位。

One of the women who came here in search of opportunity was Rosalind Nuss.Roz grew up scrubbing floors in the Brooklyn boardinghouse where she lived.She was pulled out of high school by her parents to help support their family.One of her teachers insisted that her parents put her back into school—and in 1937, she sat where you are sitting today and received a Berkeley degree.Roz was my grandmother.She was a huge inspiration to me and I‘m so grateful that Berkeley recognized her potential.I want to take a moment to offer a special congratulations to the many here today who are the first generation in their families to graduate from college.What a remarkable achievement.曾经有一位女性来到这里求学，她的名字是罗莎琳德•努斯•罗姿。罗姿在纽约布鲁克林一处公寓里长大，靠擦地为生。高中时，她的父母让她辍学养家，幸好被一位老师及时劝服才能继续上学。1937年，她从伯克利毕业了，就坐在你们现在的位置。故事里的罗姿是我的祖母。直到现在，她的经历都是我强大的精神支柱。非常感谢伯克利当年慧眼识才。我还要特别恭喜成为家中第一代大学生的才俊，你们非常了不起！

Today is a day of celebration.A day to celebrate all the hard work that got you to this moment.今天值得庆祝，你们付出了很多努力才走到今天。

Today is a day of thanks.A day to thank those who helped you get here—nurtured you, taught you, cheered you on, and dried your tears.Or at least the ones who didn‘t draw on you with a Sharpie when you fell asleep at a party.今天应该感谢。要感谢帮助你们一步步走到这里的人，感谢培养你，教导你，鼓励你，为你擦过眼泪的人。至少也该感谢你在聚会上睡着后没用记号笔在你脸上乱画的小伙伴们。

Today is a day of reflection.Because today marks the end of one era of your life and the beginning of something new.今天应该沉思。因为今天意味着你生命中一个时代结束，一个新时代开始。A commencement address is meant to be a dance between youth and wisdom.You have the youth.Someone comes in to be the voice of wisdom—that‘s supposed to be me.I stand up here and tell you all the things I have learned in life, you throw your cap in the air, you let your family take a million photos –don‘t forget to post them on Instagram —and everyone goes home happy.毕业典礼致词仿佛一场青春和智慧之间的交锋。台下青春洋溢，演讲台上睿智深刻。今天我本应跟你们分享一些人生经验。然后，你们把帽子扔到空中，和家人拍照留影，——不要忘了发布在Instagram上，最后大家都高高兴兴地回家。Today will be a bit different.We will still do the caps and you still have to do the photos.But I am not here to tell you all the things I‘ve learned in life.Today I will try to tell you what I learned in death.但今天会有点不一样。或许你们还是会扔帽子，还是会拍很多照片。但我今天不想传授生活方面的经验，而是想讲讲从亲人离世后的领悟。

I have never spoken publicly about this before.It‘s hard.But I will do my very best not to blow my nose on this beautiful Berkeley robe.我以前从未公开谈论过这件事，其实很难说出口。我会尽量控制住情绪免得哭出来，弄脏这件漂亮的伯克利长袍不太好。One year and thirteen days ago, I lost my husband, Dave.His death was sudden and unexpected.We were at a friend‘s fiftieth birthday party in Mexico.I took a nap.Dave went to work out.What followed was the unthinkable—walking into a gym to find him lying on the floor.Flying home to tell my children that their father was gone.Watching his casket being lowered into the ground.一年零13天前，我的丈夫戴夫去世了，很突然也很意外。我们去墨西哥参加朋友的50岁生日聚会。我睡了个午觉，戴夫去锻炼。接下来的事完全不可想象，我走进健身房看见他躺在地板上。后来我坐飞机回家将这个不幸的消息告诉了孩子们，最后亲眼看着他的棺材下葬。

For many months afterward, and at many times since, I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief—what I think of as the void—an emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even to breathe.他去世后好几个月里，我经常悲伤得无法自已，内心只觉得一片无尽的空虚四处蔓延，占据了五脏六腑，我无力思考，甚至感觉像要窒息。

Dave‘s death changed me in very profound ways.I learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss.But I also learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again.I learned that in the face of the void—or in the face of any challenge—you can choose joy and meaning.戴夫的死深刻地改变了我。我终于明白了什么叫切肤之痛，也体会到痛失所爱的残酷。但我也明白了，当生活给你当头一棒，堕入悲伤之海，你能做的就是奋力游向水面，大口呼吸。我明白了，即便悲伤至空虚，或是面对巨大挑战，你仍然可以选择快乐和有意义的生活。

I‘m sharing this with you in the hopes that today, as you take the next step in your life, you can learn the lessons that I only learned in death.Lessons about hope, strength, and the light within us that will not be extinguished.我跟你们分享亲人离世的感受，是希望能在你们走上社会时就能理解失去的痛苦，明白什么是希望、力量和心中永不熄灭的火苗。

Everyone who has made it through Cal has already experienced some disappointment.You wanted an A but you got a B.OK, let‘s be honest—you got an A-but you‘re still mad.You applied for an internship at Facebook, but you only got one from Google.She was the love of your life… but then she swiped left.每个从伯克利毕业的人肯定都经历过挫折。你想考A，结果只得到一个B。你申请到Facebook实习，结果只能去谷歌。你全心爱她，她却甩了你…… Game of Thrones the show has diverged way too much from the books—and you bothered to read all four thousand three hundred and fifty-two pages.电视剧《权力的游戏》太不尊重原著，你就去看完了4320页的书……

You will almost certainly face more and deeper adversity.There‘s loss of opportunity: the job that doesn‘t work out, the illness or accident that changes everything in an instant.There‘s loss of dignity: the sharp sting of prejudice when it happens.There‘s loss of love: the broken relationships that can‘t be fixed.And sometimes there‘s loss of life itself.生活中总会碰到很多难处理的事。有时错失机会：工作不合适，遭遇疾病或事故因而一切瞬间改变。有时尊严尽失：刻薄的偏见常常刺痛人心。有时缘尽人散：亲密关系一旦破碎就难重圆。有时不仅是生离，还要面临死别。

Some of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible mark.Last year, Radhika, the winner of the University Medal, spoke so beautifully about the sudden loss of her mother.你们当中有些人已然历经刻骨的悲剧和苦难。去年大学奖章得主拉迪卡曾发表演讲，动情讲述了母亲突然去世的悲痛。

The question is not if some of these things will happen to you.They will.Today I want to talk about what happens next.About the things you can do to overcome adversity, no matter what form it takes or when it hits you.The easy days ahead of you will be easy.It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are.You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.问题不是这些事情会不会发生，它们迟早都会来的。我想说的是发生之后怎么办，不管什么困难也不管具体什么时候遭遇，关键是怎样从困境中振作起来。其实只有经历了真正难捱的日子，被逼到崩溃边缘，你才能真正了解自己。要发掘真实的内心，不仅要看取得的成就，更要看逆境中如何奋起。

A few weeks after Dave died, I was talking to my friend Phil about a father-son activity that Dave was not here to do.We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave.I cried to him, ―But I want Dave.‖ Phil put his arm around me and said, ―Option A is not available.So let‘s just kick the shit out of option B.‖ 戴夫去世几个星期后，我和我的朋友菲尔谈论一场要父亲参加的亲子活动。戴夫不在了，我们只好找别人代替他。我哭着对他说：―但我只想要戴夫。‖菲尔搂住我说：―A计划不行了，将就将就用B计划吧。‖

We all at some point live some form of option B.The question is: What do we do then? 我们总会碰到不尽如人意只能用B计划的时候，问题是：该怎么面对？ As a representative of Silicon Valley, I‘m pleased to tell you there is data to learn from.After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P‘s—personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship.The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.可能有点硅谷的职业病吧，我想说走出挫折也要科学对待。心理学家马丁•塞利格曼（Martin Seligman）研究几十年后发现，从苦难中振作起来关键是做到三点——不要过分自责（personalization）、不要过分解读（pervasiveness）以及不要以为伤痛永远不褪（permanence）。挺过生活中一次次打击，才能慢慢磨炼出韧性。

The first P is personalization—the belief that we are at fault.This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do.This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.不要过分自责，就是说不要把悲伤的原因揽到自己身上。承担责任是应该的，但是痛苦时不要过分情绪化，要清楚一件事，并不是所有的坏事都是自己造成的。When Dave died, I had a very common reaction, which was to blame myself.He died in seconds from a cardiac arrhythmia.I poured over his medical records asking what I could have—or should have—done.It wasn‘t until I learned about the three P‘s that I accepted that I could not have prevented his death.His doctors had not identified his coronary artery disease.I was an economics major;how could I have? 戴夫去世后我就忍不住责怪自己。他在几秒钟内死于心脏病突发。我翻遍他的病历寻找线索，看看我要是做了什么，戴夫就不会死。明白这三条原则之后，我才慢慢接受不管怎样都救不了他这个事实。他的医生们没发现他有心脏病，我一个学经济的又怎么可能发现呢？

Studies show that getting past personalization can actually make you stronger.Teachers who knew they could do better after students failed adjusted their methods and saw future classes go on to excel.College swimmers who underperformed but believed they were capable of swimming faster did.Not taking failures personally allows us to recover—and even to thrive.研究表明减少过分自责确实会让人强大起来。学生挂科之后老师与其后悔没尽力，不如努力改进教学方法帮助以后的学生取得好成绩。大学里游泳运动员成绩不理想，但是只要坚信可以游得更好，就能实现。只有走出过分自责的阴影，才能尽快恢复，甚至督促自己做得更好。

The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life.You know that song ―Everything is awesome?‖ This is the flip: ―Everything is awful.‖ There‘s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness.第二条不要过分解读，就是不要笃定坏事一定会影响生活中每个角落。有一首歌叫《一切都是极好的》，反过来就是《一切都是可怕的》。人们常常会以为悲伤大过天，根本无处可逃。

The child psychologists I spoke to encouraged me to get my kids back to their routine as soon as possible.So ten days after Dave died, they went back to school and I went back to work.I remember sitting in my first Facebook meeting in a deep, deep haze.All I could think was, ―What is everyone talking about and how could this possibly matter?‖ But then I got drawn into the discussion and for a second—a brief split second—I forgot about death.我跟儿童心理学家聊了之后，他让我尽快恢复孩子们的日常习惯。戴夫去世十天后，他们回到学校，我则回到工作岗位。我记得回去上班后头一次开会，精神都是恍惚的。我心里想的都是，―他们都在说什么，这些小事有什么好说的？‖但后来我加入讨论，说着说着突然有那么一瞬，我好像忘记了死亡的悲痛。That brief second helped me see that there were other things in my life that were not awful.My children and I were healthy.My friends and family were so loving and they carried us—quite literally at times.那短暂的一瞬让我明白，生活中还有一些事没那么糟糕。毕竟，我跟孩子们都很健康，亲朋好友都那么关心支持我们，那段时间真的多亏他们撑着我才没垮。The loss of a partner often has severe negative financial consequences, especially for women.So many single mothers—and fathers—struggle to make ends meet or have jobs that don‘t allow them the time they need to care for their children.I had financial security, the ability to take the time off I needed, and a job that I did not just believe in, but where it‘s actually OK to spend all day on Facebook.Gradually, my children started sleeping through the night, crying less, playing more.失去伴侣往往会伴随巨大的经济打击，女性更是如此。许多单身母亲和父亲都在非常努力工作，没什么时间照看孩子。跟他们比我不用担心经济来源，能抽出时间照顾孩子，而且我有一份很好的工作。渐渐地，孩子们晚上能睡踏实了，哭闹少了，又愿意玩了。

The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever.For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.第三条是不要以为伤痛永远不褪，就是相信痛苦会一直继续。戴夫去世后有几个月，无论我做什么都能感觉到令人窒息的悲伤，而且从来没有减轻的迹象。We often project our current feelings out indefinitely—and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings.We feel anxious—and then we feel anxious that we‘re anxious.We feel sad—and then we feel sad that we‘re sad.Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever.My rabbi told me that time would heal but for now I should ―lean in to the suck.‖ It was good advice, but not really what I meant by ―lean in.‖ 我们总是觉得当前不好的感觉会无限延伸，而且不良情绪还会滋生副产品。我们感到焦虑，然后因为焦虑而焦虑；感到伤心，然后因为伤心而伤心。实际上，我们应该诚实面对自己的感觉，然后认清事实，其实所有感觉都不会永远持续。我的拉比（犹太教里的精神导师——译者注）说，时间会治愈一切，我也得学会―向前一步‖。这是个好建议，不过我写书时说的―向前一步‖其实不完全是这个意思。None of you need me to explain the fourth P…which is, of course, pizza from Cheese Board.其实还有第四个原则，就是美味的披萨，不用解释了吧……

But I wish I had known about the three P‘s when I was your age.There were so many times these lessons would have helped.言归正传，我真的很希望在你们这个年龄就知道这三条原则。许多时候，这些经验都很有用。

Day one of my first job out of college, my boss found out that I didn‘t know how to enter data into Lotus 1-2-3.That‘s a spreadsheet—ask your parents.His mouth dropped open and he said, ‗I can‘t believe you got this job without knowing that‖—and then walked out of the room.I went home convinced that I was going to be fired.I thought I was terrible at everything… but it turns out I was only terrible at spreadsheets.Understanding pervasiveness would have saved me a lot of anxiety that week.我大学毕业后做第一份工作时，老板发现我不会把数据录入莲花1-2-3（莲花公司的电子表格软件——译者注）。莲花1-2-3是个电子表格——你们的爸妈可能知道。他张大嘴说：―连这个都不会，真不知道你怎么进来公司的。‖ 然后就走出去了。晚上回家我觉得要被炒鱿鱼，然后觉得我什么事都做不好……但事实证明，我只是不会做电子表格而已。如果我当时就能明白不要过分解读，没必要一时难过就否定一切，当时就不会那么焦虑。

I wish I had known about permanence when I broke up with boyfriends.It would‘ve been a comfort to know that feeling was not going to last forever, and if I was being honest with myself… neither were any of those relationships.我跟男朋友提出分手时，要是明白痛苦并不会一直持续就好了。如果我当时知道再难受也会慢慢缓解，如果我能诚实面对自己，就会安慰很多，不过我都没做到。And I wish I had understood personalization when boyfriends broke up with me.Sometimes it‘s not you—it really is them.I mean, that dude never showered.男朋友和我分手时，我要是懂得不要过分自责就好了。有时真的不是我的错，错的是他们。说了你可能都不信，这家伙从来不洗澡。

And all three P‘s ganged up on me in my twenties after my first marriage ended in divorce.I thought at the time that no matter what I accomplished, I was a massive failure.我20多岁时第一次婚姻以离婚告终，这三条原则一条都没做到。当时的感觉是不管我做成过什么，最后还是一败涂地。

The three P‘s are common emotional reactions to so many things that happen to us—in our careers, our personal lives, and our relationships.You‘re probably feeling one of them right now about something in your life.But if you can recognize you are falling into these traps, you can catch yourself.Just as our bodies have a physiological immune system, our brains have a psychological immune system—and there are steps you can take to help kick it into gear.这三条原则针对的是我们遇到许多事情后常见的反应，不管是事业上，个人生活里，还是人际关系中。没准你现在就正在经历一些挫折。不过，如果你能清醒地发现陷阱，还有自救的机会。我们的身体里都有免疫系统，其实大脑里也有精神免疫系统，只是要用点办法才能启动。

One day my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think about how much worse things could be.This was completely counterintuitive;it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts.―Worse?‖ I said.―Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?‖ His answer cut straight through me: ―Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.‖ Wow.The moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly grateful that the rest of my family was alive and healthy.That gratitude overtook some of the grief.有一天，我的心理学家朋友亚当•格兰特建议我换个角度思考，想象事情可能会更糟糕。刚一听让人挺难接受的。―更糟？‖我说。―开玩笑吗？都这样了还能怎么糟。‖我说。他回答道：―想象一下戴夫开车时突发心脏病，孩子们也都在车里。‖天呐！那一刻，我突然很感激孩子们都没事，还健康地活着。感激之后悲伤也减轻了一点。

Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience.People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier.It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings.My New Year‘s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night.This simple practice has changed my life.Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful.Try it.Start tonight when you have so many fun moments to list— although maybe do it before you hit Kip‘s and can still remember what they are.常怀感激之情是走出悲伤的关键。多花点时间列出值得感恩的事，就会更快乐也更健康。事实证明，多数数身边的好事，好事真的会越变越多。我今年的新年决心就是，每天晚上睡觉前写下三件当天高兴的事。做起来其实不难，但已经改变了我的生活。因为不管每天发生了什么，我睡觉的时候都在想着快乐的事。今晚开始试一下吧，今天肯定就有很多开心的事可以列。希望今晚你们临睡前都还记得。

Last month, eleven days before the anniversary of Dave‘s death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine.We were sitting—of all places—on a bathroom floor.I said: ―Eleven days.One year ago, he had eleven days left.And we had no idea.‖ We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had eleven days left.上个月有一天，我想到还有11天戴夫逝世就满周年了，在一个朋友面前忍不住痛哭，当时我们还坐在浴室地板上。我说：―11天。一年前的今天，他的生命只剩下11天了，我们却不知道。‖我们望着彼此都忍不住痛哭，然后问对方如果知道生命只剩下11天会如何生活。

As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had eleven days left? I don‘t mean blow everything off and party all the time— although tonight is an exception.I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be.How precious every day actually is.你们毕业了，以后能像生命只剩下11天一样去生活吗？我的意思不是让你们抛下一切，每天都去聚会狂欢，当然今晚例外。我的意思是要明白每天都很珍贵。每一天都要珍惜不能浪费。A few years ago, my mom had to have her hip replaced.When she was younger, she always walked without pain.But as her hip disintegrated, each step became painful.Now, even years after her operation, she is grateful for every step she takes without pain—something that never would have occurred to her before.几年前，我母亲做手术换了髋关节。她年轻时走路总是会疼，髋关节粉碎性骨折之后每一步都疼痛难忍。现在做完手术好几年了，她还会经常感激走路不会疼，因为手术前根本无法想象。

As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true.I have a huge reservoir of sadness that is with me always—right here where I can touch it.I never knew I could cry so often—or so much.如今我人生中最惨的一天过去已经一年了，我能确定两件事情是真实的。第一，我心中巨大的悲伤会永远挥之不去，就在这，我都能触摸到。还有就是以前我从来没想过我能天天哭，泪水能那么多。

But I am also aware that I am walking without pain.For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out—grateful for the gift of life itself.I used to celebrate my birthday every five years and friends‘ birthdays sometimes.Now I celebrate always.I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day—and trust me that list was often quite long.Now I try really hard to focus on each day‘s moments of joy.但我也能确定我可以轻松走路，不用忍受疼痛。有生以来第一次，我感激每一次呼吸，感激自己的生命。过去我每五年过一次生日，朋友的生日只是偶尔庆祝。现在，每次我都不错过。过去我睡觉前总是在想当天有多少事没做好，其实经常搞砸很多。而现在我会集中精神想当天高兴的事。

It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husband helped me find deeper gratitude—gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children.My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude—not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.说起来可能有点讽刺，我失去了丈夫，却因此体会到更深的感激——感谢朋友们的好意、感谢家人的爱，感谢孩子们的欢笑。我希望你们也能学会感激，不仅是在好日子里感激，比方说今天，在艰难的日子里更要感激，到那时感激之情对你们的帮助更大。

There are so many moments of joy ahead of you.That trip you always wanted to take.A first kiss with someone you really like.The day you get a job doing something you truly believe in.Beating Stanford.(Go Bears!)All of these things will happen to you.Enjoy each and every one.你们的人生道路上还有许多快乐的时刻。比如一直想去的旅行，与你真正喜欢的人的初吻，一份真正热爱的工作。还有击败斯坦福（加油金熊队！）美好的事情都会到来，尽情享受吧。

I hope that you live your life—each precious day of it—with joy and meaning.I hope that you walk without pain—and that you are grateful for each step.希望你们今后的每一天都充满快乐充实，希望你们的每一步都轻松自在没有痛苦，希望你们会意识到这一切值得感激。

And when the challenges come, I hope you remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow.You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience.Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it.In that process you will figure out who you really are—and you just might become the very best version of yourself.面对挑战时，希望你们记住最重要的是学习和成长的能力。你们面对挫折的韧性并非固定不变。像肌肉一样，韧性是可以锻炼的，需要时就可以发挥作用。成长过程中你会慢慢了解自我，而且可能已经变成最好的自己。Class of 2016, as you leave Berkeley, build resilience.2016级的毕业生们，在你离开伯克利时，记得锻炼韧性。

Build resilience in yourselves.When tragedy or disappointment strike, know that you have the ability to get through absolutely anything.I promise you do.As the saying goes, we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined.加强自身克服困难的韧性。悲剧或挫折来临时，你会知道自己有能力挺过去。相信我，你们可以的。常言道，我们比想象中脆弱，但也比想象中强大。Build resilient organizations.If anyone can do it, you can, because Berkeley is filled with people who want to make the world a better place.Never stop working to do so—whether it‘s a boardroom that is not representative or a campus that‘s not safe.Speak up, especially at institutions like this one, which you hold so dear.My favorite poster at work reads, ―Nothing at Facebook is someone else‘s problem.‖ When you see something that‘s broken, go fix it.打造坚韧的团体。别人能做到，你也可以，因为从伯克利走出去的都是想把世界变得更美好的人。董事会或许不太完善，校园也可能不太安全，但永远不要放弃努力。大胆地说出意见，尤其是在伯克利这么难得的自由校园。办公室里我最喜欢的一幅海报上写着，―在Facebook任何事都不应该推给别人。‖发现有什么事需要做，那就去做。

Build resilient communities.We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections to one another.Be there for your family and friends.And I mean in person.Not just in a message with a heart emoji.建立强大的社区，人类都是通过与旁人的联系找到自我认同的，在群体中人们才有生存的愿望，才能学会爱。要及时帮助家人朋友，一定要亲自去，不要在手机上发条信息加个心形表情就算交差了。

Lift each other up, help each other kick the shit out of option B—and celebrate each and every moment of joy.互相扶持，帮助他人走出困境，庆祝每一个欢乐的时刻。

You have the whole world in front of you.I can‘t wait to see what you do with it.整个世界就在你们面前。我真的很期待你们的成就！Congratulations, and Go Bears!恭喜毕业，加油金熊队！

第三篇：桑德伯格在UC伯克利毕业演讲[范文]

Thank you, Marie.And thank you esteemed members of the faculty, proud parents, devoted friends, and squirming siblings.Congratulations to all of you…and especially to the magnificent Berkeley graduating class of 2016!

It is a privilege to be here at Berkeley, which has produced so many Nobel Prize winners, Turing Award winners, astronauts, members of Congress, Olympic gold medalists….and that’s just the women!

Berkeley has always been ahead of the times.In the 1960s, you led the Free Speech Movement.Back in those days, people used to say that with all the long hair, how do we even tell the boys from the girls? We now know the answer: man buns.Early on, Berkeley opened its doors to the entire population.When this campus opened in 1873, the class included 167 men and 222 women.It took my alma mater another ninety years to award a single degree to a single woman.One of the women who came here in search of opportunity was Rosalind Nuss.Roz grew up scrubbing floors in the Brooklyn boardinghouse where she lived.She was pulled out of high school by her parents to help support their family.One of her teachers insisted that her parents put her back into school—and in 1937, she sat where you are sitting today and received a Berkeley degree.Roz was my grandmother.She was a huge inspiration to me and I’m so grateful that Berkeley recognized her potential.I want to take a moment to offer a special congratulations to the many here today who are the first generation in their families to graduate from college.What a remarkable achievement.Today is a day of celebration.A day to celebrate all the hard work that got you to this moment.Today is a day of thanks.A day to thank those who helped you get here—nurtured you, taught you, cheered you on, and dried your tears.Or at least the ones man who didn’t draw on you with a Sharpie when you fell asleep at a party.Today is a day of reflection.Because today marks the end of one era of your life and the beginning of something new.A commencement address is meant to be a dance between youth and wisdom.You have the youth.Someone comes in to be the voice of wisdom—that’s supposed to be me.I stand up here and tell you all the things I have learned in life, you throw your cap in the air, you let your family take a million photos –don’t forget to post them on instagram—and everyone goes home happy.Today will be a bit different.We will still do the caps and you still have to do the photos.But I am not here to tell you all the things I’ve learned in life.Today I will try to tell you what I learned in death.I have never spoken publicly about this before.It’s hard.But I will do my very best not to blow my nose on this beautiful Berkeley robe.One year and thirteen days ago, I lost my husband, Dave.His death was sudden and unexpected.We were at a friend’s fiftieth birthday party in Mexico.I took a nap.Dave went to work out.What followed was the unthinkable—walking into a gym to find him lying on the floor.Flying home to tell my children that their father was gone.Watching his casket being lowered into the ground.For many months afterward, and at many times since, I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief—what I think of as the void—an emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even to breathe.Dave’s death changed me in very profound ways.I learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss.But I also learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again.I learned that in the face of the void—or in the face of any challenge—you can choose joy and meaning.I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that today, as you take the next step in your life, you can learn the lessons that I only learned in death.Lessons about hope, strength, and the light within us that will not be extinguished.Everyone who has made it through Cal has already experienced some disappointment.You wanted an A but you got a B.OK, let’s be honest—you got an A-but you’re still mad.You applied for an internship at Facebook, but you only got one from Google.She was the love of your life… but then she swiped left.Game of Thrones the show has diverged way too much from the books—and you bothered to read all four thousand three hundred and fifty-two pages.You will almost certainly face more and deeper adversity.There’s loss of opportunity: the job that doesn’t work out, the illness or accident that changes everything in an instant.There’s loss of dignity: the sharp sting of prejudice when it happens.There’s loss of love: the broken relationships that can’t be fixed.And sometimes there’s loss of life itself.Some of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible mark.Last year, Radhika, the winner of the University Medal, spoke so beautifully about the sudden loss of her mother.The question is not if some of these things will happen to you.They will.Today I want to talk about what happens next.About the things you can do to overcome adversity, no matter what form it takes or when it hits you.The easy days ahead of you will be easy.It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are.You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.A few weeks after Dave died, I was talking to my friend Phil about a father-son activity that Dave was not here to do.We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave.I cried to him, “But I want Dave.” Phil put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available.So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”

We all at some point live some form of option B.The question is: What do we do then?

As a representative of Silicon Valley, I’m pleased to tell you there is data to learn from.After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P’s—personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship.The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.The first P is personalization—the belief that we are at fault.This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do.This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.When Dave died, I had a very common reaction, which was to blame myself.He died in seconds from a cardiac arrhythmia.I poured over his medical records asking what I could have—or should have—done.It wasn’t until I learned about the three P’s that I accepted that I could not have prevented his death.His doctors had not identified his coronary artery disease.I was an economics major;how could I have?

Studies show that getting past personalization can actually make you stronger.Teachers who knew they could do better after students failed adjusted their methods and saw future classes go on to excel.College swimmers who underperformed but believed they were capable of swimming faster did.Not taking failures personally allows us to recover—and even to thrive.The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life.You know that song “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There’s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness.The child psychologists I spoke to encouraged me to get my kids back to their routine as soon as possible.So ten days after Dave died, they went back to school and I went back to work.I remember sitting in my first Facebook meeting in a deep, deep haze.All I could think was, “What is everyone talking about and how could this possibly matter?” But then I got drawn into the discussion and for a second—a brief split second—I forgot about death.That brief second helped me see that there were other things in my life that were not awful.My children and I were healthy.My friends and family were so loving and they carried us—quite literally at times.The loss of a partner often has severe negative financial consequences, especially for women.So many single mothers—and fathers—struggle to make ends meet or have jobs that don’t allow them the time they need to care for their children.I had financial security, the ability to take the time off I needed, and a job that I did not just believe in, but where it’s actually OK to spend all day on Facebook.Gradually, my children started sleeping through the night, crying less, playing more.The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever.For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.We often project our current feelings out indefinitely—and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings.We feel anxious—and then we feel anxious that we’re anxious.We feel sad—and then we feel sad that we’re sad.Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever.My rabbi told me that time would heal but for now I should “lean in to the suck.” It was good advice, but not really what I meant by “lean in.”

None of you need me to explain the fourth P…which is, of course, pizza from Cheese Board.But I wish I had known about the three P’s when I was your age.There were so many times these lessons would have helped.Day one of my first job out of college, my boss found out that I didn’t know how to enter data into Lotus 1-2-3.That’s a spreadsheet—ask your parents.His mouth dropped open and he said, ‘I can’t believe you got this job without knowing that”—and then walked out of the room.I went home convinced that I was going to be fired.I thought I was terrible at everything… but it turns out I was only terrible at spreadsheets.Understanding pervasiveness would have saved me a lot of anxiety that week.I wish I had known about permanence when I broke up with boyfriends.It would’ve been a comfort to know that feeling was not going to last forever, and if I was being honest with myself… neither were any of those relationships.And I wish I had understood personalization when boyfriends broke up with me.Sometimes it’s not you—it really is them.I mean, that dude never showered.And all three P’s ganged up on me in my twenties after my first marriage ended in divorce.I thought at the time that no matter what I accomplished, I was a massive failure.The three P’s are common emotional reactions to so many things that happen to us—in our careers, our personal lives, and our relationships.You’re probably feeling one of them right now about something in your life.But if you can recognize you are falling into these traps, you can catch yourself.Just as our bodies have a physiological immune system, our brains have a psychological immune system—and there are steps you can take to help kick it into gear.One day my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think about how much worse things could be.This was completely counterintuitive;it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts.“Worse?” I said.“Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.” Wow.The moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly grateful that the rest of my family was alive and healthy.That gratitude overtook some of the grief.Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience.People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier.It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings.My New Year’s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night.This simple practice has changed my life.Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful.Try it.Start tonight when you have so many fun moments to list— although maybe do it before you hit Kip’s and can still remember what they are.Last month, eleven days before the anniversary of Dave’s death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine.We were sitting—of all places—on a bathroom floor.I said: “Eleven days.One year ago, he had eleven days left.And we had no idea.” We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had eleven days left.As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had eleven days left? I don’t mean blow everything off and party all the time— although tonight is an exception.I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be.How precious every day actually is.A few years ago, my mom had to have her hip replaced.When she was younger, she always walked without pain.But as her hip disintegrated, each step became painful.Now, even years after her operation, she is grateful for every step she takes without pain—something that never would have occurred to her before.As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true.I have a huge reservoir of sadness that is with me always—right here where I can touch it.I never knew I could cry so often—or so much.But I am also aware that I am walking without pain.For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out—grateful for the gift of life itself.I used to celebrate my birthday every five years and friends’ birthdays sometimes.Now I celebrate always.I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day—and trust me that list was often quite long.Now I try really hard to focus on each day’s moments of joy.It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husband helped me find deeper gratitude—gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children.My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude—not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.There are so many moments of joy ahead of you.That trip you always wanted to take.A first kiss with someone you really like.The day you get a job doing something you truly believe in.Beating Stanford.(Go Bears!)All of these things will happen to you.Enjoy each and every one.I hope that you live your life—each precious day of it—with joy and meaning.I hope that you walk without pain—and that you are grateful for each step.And when the challenges come, I hope you remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow.You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience.Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it.In that process you will figure out who you really are—and you just might become the very best version of yourself.Class of 2016, as you leave Berkeley, build resilience.Build resilience in yourselves.When tragedy or disappointment strike, know that you have the ability to get through absolutely anything.I promise you do.As the saying goes, we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined.Build resilient organizations.If anyone can do it, you can, because Berkeley is filled with people who want to make the world a better place.Never stop working to do so—whether it’s a boardroom that is not representative or a campus that’s not safe.Speak up, especially at institutions like this one, which you hold so dear.My favorite poster at work reads, “Nothing at Facebook is someone else’s problem.” When you see something that’s broken, go fix it.Build resilient communities.We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections to one another.Be there for your family and friends.And I mean in person.Not just in a message with a heart emoji.Lift each other up, help each other kick the shit out of option B—and celebrate each and every moment of joy.You have the whole world in front of you.I can’t wait to see what you do with it.Congratulations, and Go Bears!

第四篇：桑德伯格TED演讲

桑德伯格TED演讲：为什么女性领导那么少？

Facebook COO 谢乐尔·桑德伯格（Sheryl Sandberg）

谢乐尔·桑德伯格（Sheryl Sandberg）是全球最大的社交网站Facebook的首席运营官，曾任比尔·克林顿政府的财政部办公室主任，后任Google副总裁，短时间内帮助谷歌实现盈利。2008年3月，桑德伯格加入新兴社交网络Facebook，担任首席运营官。3年后，Facebook的用户数从当初的6000万飙升至如今的7亿，广告收入更是从2008年的3亿美元上涨到2010年的19亿美元，比两年前翻了六倍，而Google的广告收入在这三年增速减缓。她在演讲中为职场女性提供3条建议：像男性一样坐到谈判桌旁，争取自己能够胜任的职位和应得的薪水；与伴侣有效沟通，共同分担家务和养育孩子的责任；在得到自己想要的职位前“不要提前离场”。

正文：我们先承认我们是幸运的。我们没有生活在我们母亲和我们祖母生活过的那个世界，在那时，女性的职业选择是非常有限的。今天在座的各位，大多数人成长于一个女性有基本公民权的世界。令人惊讶地是，我们还生活在一个有些女性还没有这些权利的世界。但除上所述，我们还有一个问题，它是一个实际问题。这问题是：在世界各地，女性没达到任何职业的高管职位。这些数据很清楚地告诉我们这实情。190个国家元首里，九位是女性领导。在世界上议会的总人数中，13%是女性议员。在公司部门，女性占据高位C级职位，董事会席位高管职位比例占15%，16%。自从2002年起这数据没变化过有下降趋势。即使在非营利的行业----我们有时认为这一行业是被更多女性所领导的，女性领导人占20%。

我们还面临着另一个问题，就是女性在职业成功和个人价值实现中所面临的艰难选择。美国最近一个研究表明，已婚高管人员，三分之二的已婚男性高管人员有孩子，只有三分之一的已婚女性高管人员有孩子。几年前，我在纽约，出席一个协议，在那种别致的纽约私募投资办事处中的一个你能想象到的。我在这个大约有3小时的会议上，过了2小时，有个间歇休息，所有人都站起来，这会议组织者开始显得的确很尴尬。我意识到他不知道在他办公室哪里是女洗手间。所以我开始寻找移动厕所，盘算他们刚搬进来，但我没有看到任何移动厕所。然后我说，“你是刚搬到这办公室吗？”他说，“不是，我们在这儿已经有一年了。”我说，“你能否告诉我这一年来，我是唯一一个来这间办公室的女性吗？”他看着我，说到，“是的。或者说你可能是唯一一个要上女性洗手间。”

所以问题是，我们该怎样解决这样的尴尬？我们怎样改变这些高管职位的比例？我们怎样使这个变得不同？我首先想说，我谈这个女性就职因为我的确认为我们得找到答案。在我们劳动力的高收入的部分，在高管的人员中，财富500强首席执行长官中，或在其它类似的高管行业中，我确信，问题是女性被排除在外。当下人们对此谈了很多，他们谈到像弹性时间和指导公司应该培训妇女计划的事。今天我不想谈这些尽管所有这些事都非常重要。今天我想关注作为个人我们所能做到的事。我们要告诉给自己的事是什么？我们告诉给女同事和打工的女性的事是什么？我们要告诉给我们女儿的事是什么？

现在首先，我想澄清这个演讲不带有任何评判。我也没有正确的答案；甚至就我而言，我也没有完全的答案。在周一，我离开我生活的加利福尼亚，我坐上飞机赶赴这会议。当我送我三岁的女儿到幼儿园时，她紧紧抱进我的腿，哭喊着，“妈咪，不要上飞机”之类的话。这很难受。有时我感到内疚。我知道无论是家庭主妇，还是职业女性，有时她们都会感同身受。所以我不会说对所有人来说，呆在职场是件正确的事。今天我的演讲是要讲如果你真正想呆在职场。我想有3条建议。

一、坐在桌旁。

二、让你的伴侣成为一个真正的合作伙伴。

三、在你离开前别放弃。

第一、坐在桌旁。仅仅几周前在脸谱，我们主持一个非常高级行政官员会议，马克·扎克伯格与来自硅谷周围的高级行政官员见面。每个人都坐在桌边。然后携同他的2个女性，在他部门中她们也占非常高的职位。我对她们说，“坐在桌边。来吧，坐在桌边。”因为她们坐在了屋子的一边。我在大四时，我选修一节欧洲思想史的课程。你们喜爱大学的这类课程嘛。我希望我现在能做到。我和我室友卡丽一起学习，她那时是一个才华横溢的文学学生，现在成为了一个杰出的文学家，另外我的弟弟一个聪明的小伙子，但他爱打水球，他上医学预科大二。我们三人一起选修这课。然后卡丽读了所有希腊文和拉丁文的原版书籍--去了所有的课--我读了所有英语的书上了大多数的课。我弟弟有点忙；他读了12本书中的一本去上了几节课，在考试前几天他来到我们房间自己辅导了一下。我们三个一起去考试了，我们坐下来。我们考了有3个小时，我们的小蓝笔记本，是的。我们走出来，对视对方，我们说，“你考得怎样？”卡丽说，“伙计，我感到我真没有答对有关黑格尔辩证法的主要命题。”我说，“上帝啊，我真希望我考试时能想到学习过的洛克的产权理论等哲学家。”我弟弟却说，“我会是班里考得最好的。”“你会是班里考得最好的？你啥都不知道。”

这种故事的问题出在数据所表明的事实：女性被系统化地低估了她们自身的能力。如果你测试男性和女性，你问他们问题，按完全客观的标准平均成绩来算，男性会错误的高估一些，女性则会错误地低估一些。女性在职场不会为自身利益去谈判。在过去两年，关于人们从学校进入职场的一个调查表明57%的男生或男性进入职场，我猜会协商他们的第一份薪水，只有7%的女性会去协商。更重要的是，男性把他们的成功归功于他们自身，而女性则归功于其他外部因素。如果你问男性为什么他们能把工作做好，他们会说，“我棒极了。这是显而易见的。这还用问吗？”如果你问女性是什么使她们在工作中出色，她们会说有人帮助她们，她们很幸运，她们工作异常努力。这个问题很重要吗？大家，这关系很大因为没人得到角落办公室的职位要是只坐在旁边，而不是桌边。没人得到提升如果他们认为他们不应享有这成功，或者他们甚至不明白他们自己的成功。

我但愿这答案是容易的。我希望我尽可能告诉我所共事过的所有年轻女性，所有这些非常棒的女性，“相信你们自己，为自身利益要讨价还价。把握住你的成功。”我希望我也能告诉我的女儿。但这不是很简单。因为首先是数据表明一件事，它表明成功和人缘亲切性对于男性来说是积极影响的而对于女性来说是负面影响的。每个人都点头，因为我们大家都知道这是真的。

一个非常棒的研究也很好地表明了这一观点。哈佛商学院的一个著名研究是有关于一位叫海蒂·罗森的女性。她是硅谷一家公司的负责人，她使用她的关系成为一名非常成功的风险资本家。在2002年，不久前当时在哥伦比亚大学的一位教授做这个例子和把它改成霍华德·罗森。他把这个案例，他们两人向两组学生展示。他只改变了一个词：海蒂到霍华德。但这个词就造成了非常大的差异。然后他调查学生。好消息是学生们，男生和女生认为海蒂和霍华德都是能力相当的，这很好。但坏消息是每个人都喜欢霍华德。他是个了不起的人，大家都想和他共事，大家都想和他去钓鱼。但海蒂呢？不好说。她有点只为自己着想，对政治有点热衷。大家不太想和她共事。这是复杂的。我们得告诉我们的女儿和我们的同事，我们得告诉我们自己相信我们能获得A，得到提升，坐在桌边。我们在这世上得做到这点，在世上，女性要争取这些就得做出牺牲，尽管她们的兄弟不用为此而付出牺牲。

所有关于这的最可悲的事是很难记住这个。我将讲个对我来说是个真正尴尬的故事，但我认为它很重要。在脸谱不久前我给大约100名员工做这个演讲。几小时后，在脸谱工作的一个年轻女性坐到我小桌子旁边，她想和我谈谈。我说，好，她坐了下来，我们谈了起来。她说，“我今天学了一些东西。我知道我需要举起我的手。”我说，“你指什么啊？”她说，“你在讲这个话时，你说你将会回答2个以上问题。我和其他一些人举起手，你回答了2个以上问题。我把手放下来，我注意到所有女性都把手放下来，然后你又回答了很多问题，仅有男性参与。”我自己想了一下，如果换成是我，谁会在乎这个，明显地做这次演讲，在这演讲中，我甚至没注意到男人们的手是不是还一直举着，女人们的手是不是还一直举着，我们到底有多出色，当我们作为公司和组织的经理人的时候，以及当我们作为少数，与男性竞争争取机会的时候？我们得让女性坐到桌子边上。

第二条：让你的伴侣成为一个真正的合作伙伴。我已经确信我们在职场比起我们在家庭中起了更大的作用。数据也很清楚地表明这点。如果一个女性和一个男性同时全职并有一个小孩，女性比起男性要做两倍多家务活儿，女性比起男性做了三倍多照顾婴儿的事。所以她有了2份，3份工作，而他只有一份。当有人必须在家多干活时，谁应该留下来？这个的理由实在太复杂，我没有时间来讲它们。但我也不认为周日看美式足球和日常的懒惰是理由。

我认为理由是更加复杂化的。我认为，作为一个社会，我们总是更希望男孩子们成功，对女孩子则压力小些。我知道有居家男人呆在家里做内务支持职场妻子这很难。当我去“妈咪和我”的培训课时，我看到那里的父亲，我留意到其他妈咪不愿和他相处。这是个问题，因为我们得把内务变成一个重要的工作因为它是世界上最难的工作-居家工作无论男人女人，我们只有平分了这些事，女性才可能留在职场。（掌声）研究表明夫妻收入相等、且夫妻分担责任相当的家庭也有50%的离婚率。如果这数据并不那么鼓舞人，还有更多的在这个讲台我该怎么讲呢？夫妻双方对于彼此的了解，不仅是做爱这么简单。

（欢呼）

建议三：在你离开前别放弃。我认为这是一个非常深刻的讽刺对于女性所采取行动而言--我一直目睹类似情况的发生--女性希望留在职场这个目标，往往导致它们最终不得不离开职场。曾发生这样的事：我们都忙；每个人都很忙；作为一个女人也很忙。她开始考虑生小孩。从她开始考虑生小孩的时候起，她开始考虑为孩子准备房间。“我该如何调整孩子这件事和手头上的其他事呢？”言下之意，她不再举起她的手，她不寻求提升，她不找新的计划，她不会说，“我，我想做那个。”她开始退缩。这是个问题让我们说说她怀孕的那段日子9个月的怀胎，3个月的产假，6个月来调养休息快速调整要2年，更多的，正如我看到的女性开始过早考虑这事当她们有约会或者结婚时，当她们开始考虑要小孩，这会花相当长的一段时间。一位女性关于此事来找我，我看着她，她显得有点年轻。我说，“那么你和你丈夫考虑要小孩了？”她说，“哦不，我还没结婚。”她甚至没有男友。我说，“你考虑这个太早了吧。”

但关键是一旦你开始退缩下来，接下来会发生什么呢？每个人都会经历这个在这儿我告诉你，一旦在家你有了孩子，你真的最好是回到你的工作中去，因为把小孩留在家太难了，你的工作得有挑战性。它也得有回报。你得感觉到世界因你而变。如果2年前你没有得到提升在你旁边的一个男孩得到提升，如果三年前你放弃寻找新的机会，你会变得很乏味因为你应该紧踩油门，加油。在你离开前别放弃。保住工作。紧踩油门，除非到了那一天你需要离开为了孩子休假然后做出你自己的决定。不要提前做太长远决定，特别是你甚至不晓得自己该做怎样的决定。

我这一代的女性非常可惜，没能改变高管职位的数据变化。女人们就是呆在原地。我们没能达到50%的高管职位，在任何行业的高管职位中，女性都未达到50%。但我希望未来一代人可以做到。我认为我们世界上半数国家和半数公司会由女性所领导，那将会是一个更美好的世界。这不仅仅是因为人们会知道女性洗手间在哪儿，尽管这也有非常大的帮助。我认为它

将会是一个更美好的世界。我有2个孩子。我5岁的儿子和3岁的女儿。我想我儿子会选择在职场或在家里都尽心尽责，全心奉献。我女儿的选择不仅仅是成功，她会更热爱她所做出的成就。

第五篇：雪莉·桑德伯格 哈佛大学2014毕业典礼演讲

雪莉·桑德伯格 哈佛大学2014毕业典礼演讲

Congratulations everyone, you made it.And I don’t mean to the end of college, I mean to class day, because if memory serves, some of your classmates had too many scorpion bowls at the Kong last night and are with us today.Given the weather, the one thing Harvard hasn’t figured out how to control, some of your other classmates are at someplace warm with a hot cocoa, so you have many reasons to feel proud of yourself as you sit here today.Congratulations to your parents.You have spent a lot of money, so your child can say she went to a “small school” near Boston.And thank you to the class of 2014 for inviting me to the part of your celebration.It means a great to me.And looking at the list of past speakers was a little daunting.I can’t be as funny as Amy Poehler, but I’m gonna be funnier than Mother Teresa.25 years ago, a man named Dave I did not know at the time but who would one day become my husband was sitting where you are sitting today.23 years ago, I was sitting where you are sitting today.Dave and I are back this weekend with our amazing son and daughter to celebrate his reunion, and we both share the same sentiment, Harvard has a good basketball team.Standing here in the yard brings memories flooding back for me.I arrived here from Miami in the fall of 1987, with big hopes and even bigger hear.I was assigned to live in one of Harvard’s historic monuments to great architecture, canady.My go-to outfit, and I’m not making this up, was a jean skirt, white leg warmers and sneakers and a Florida sweater, because my parents who were here with me then as they’re here with me now, told me everyone would think it was awesome that I was from Florida.At least we didn’t have Instagram.For me, Harvard was a series of firsts.My first winner coat, we needn’t need those in Miami.My first 10page paper, they didn’t assign those in my high school.My first C, after which my proctor told me that she was on the admissions committee, and I got admitted to Harvard for my personality not my academic potential.The first person I ever met from boarding school.I thought that was our really troubled kids.The first person I ever met who shares the name with a whole building, or so I met when the first classmate I met was Sarah Widdlesworth, who bore no relation at all to the dorm, which would have been nice to know with that very intimidating moment.But then I went on to meet others, Francis Strauss, James wells, Jessica science center B.My first love, my first heartbreak, the first time I realized that I love to learn, and the first and very last time I saw anyone read anything in Latin.When I sat in your seat all those years ago, I knew exactly where I was headed, I had it all planned out, I was going to the world bank to work on global poverty.The I would go to law school.And I would spend my life working in a nonprofit or in a government.At Harvard’s commencement tomorrow as your dean described, each school is gonna stand up and graduate together, the college, the law school, the med school and so on.At my graduation, my class cheered for the PHD students and then booed the business school.Business school seemed like such a sellout.18 months later, I applied to business school.It wasn’t wrong about what I would do decades after graduating.I had it wrong a year and a half later.And even if I could have predicted I would one day work in the private sector, I never could have predicted Facebook, because there was no internet, and Mark Zuckerberg was at elementary school, already wearing his hoody.Not locking into a path too early, give me an opportunity to go into a new and life changing field.And for those of you who think I owe everything to good luck, after Canaday I got Quaded.There is no straight path from your seat today to where you are going.Don’t try to draw that line.You will not just get it wrong.You will miss big opportunities and I mean big ,like the internet.Careers are not ladders.Those days are long gone, but jungle gyms.Don’t just move up and down.Don’t just look up.Look backwards, sideways, around corners.Your career and your life will have starts and stops and zigs and zags.Don’t stress out about the white space, the path you can try, because there in lives both the surprises and the opportunities.As you open yourself up to possibility, the most important thing I can tell you today is to open yourself up to honesty, to telling the truth to each other, to be honesty to yourselves, and to be honest about the world we live in.If you watched children, you will immediately notice how honest they are.My friend besty was pregnant and her son for the second child, son Sam was 5, he wanted to know where the baby was in her body.So yes mommy, are the babies arms in your arms? And she said, no no sam, baby’s in my tummy, whole baby.Mom ,are the baby’s legs in your legs? No, sam, whole baby’s in my tummy.Then mommy, what’s growing in your butt? As adults, we are almost never dishonest and that can be a very good thing, When I was pregnant with our first child, I asked my husband Dave if my butt was getting big.At first, he didn’t answer but I pressed.So he said, yea, a little.For years my sister-in-low said him what people will now say about you for the rest of your life when you do something done, and that guy went to Harvard.Hearing the truth at different times along the way would have helped me.I would not have admitted it easily when I sat where you sit.But when I graduated, I was much more worried about my love life than my career.I thought I only had a few years very limited time to find one of the good guys, before he was to , or before they were all taken, or I get too old.So I moved to DC, and met the guy, and I got married at the nearly decrepit age of 24.I married a wonder a wonderful man, but I had no business making that kind of commitmer.I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be.My marriage fell apart within a year, something that was really embarrassing and painful at the time, and it did not help that so many friends came up to me and said:”I never knew that, never thought that was going to work or I knew you weren’t right for each other.No one had managed to say anything like that to me before I marched down an aisle when it would have been far more useful.And as I lived through these painful months of separation and divorce, boy, did I wish the had? And boy, did I wish I had asked them? At the same time in my professional life, someone did speak up.My first boss out of college was Lant Prichett, an economist who teaches at the kennedy School who is here with us today, after I deferred to law school for the second time.Lant sat down and said I don’t think you should go to law school at all, I don’t think you want to go to law school.I think you should because you told your parents you would many years ago.He noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any interest.I know how hard it can be to be honest with each other, even your closest friends, even when they’re about to make serious mistakes, but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends’ strength, weeknesses, what cliff they might drive off, and I bet for the most part you’ve never told them, and they never asked.Ask them.Ask them for the truth because it will help you.And when the answer honestly, you know that that’s what makes them real friends.Asking for feedback is a really important habit to get into, as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades behind.On many jobs if you want to know how you’re doing, if you’re going to have to ask and then you’re gonna have to listen without getting defensive.Take it from me, listening to criticism is never fun, but it’s the only way we can improve.A few years ago, Mark Zuckerberg decided he wanted to learn Chinese, and in order to practice he started trying to have work meetings with some of Facebook colleagues who are native speakers.Now you would think his very limited language skills would keep these conversations from being useful.One day he asked a woman who was there, how it was going, how did you choose the facebook.She answered with a long and pretty complicated sentence.So he said simpler please.She spoke again.Simpler please.This went back and forth a couple of times.So she is blurted out in frustration, my manager is bad.That he understood.So often the truth is sacrificed to conflict avoidance, or by the time we speak the truth ,we’ve used so many caveats and preambles that the message totally gets lost.So I ask you to ask each other for the truth and other people: can you list it in simple and clear language? And when you speak your truth, can you use simple and clear language? As hard as it is to be honest with orther people.It can be even more difficult to be honest with ourselves.For years after I had children, I would say pretty often I don’t feel guilty working even when no one asked.Someone might say, sherly, how’s your day today? And I would say, great I don’t feel guilty working.Or do I need a sweater? Yes ,it’s unpredictably freezing and I don’t feel guilty woring.I was kinda like a parrot with issues.Then one day on the treadmill, I was reading this article on Sociology Journal.about how people don’t start out lying to other people, they start out lying to themselves, and the things we repeat most frequently are often those lies.So the sweat was pouring down my face.I started wondering what do I repeat pretty frequently, and I realized I feel guilty working.I then did a lot of research, and I spent an entire year with my dear friend Neil Scovell writing a book talking about how I was thinking and feeling., and I’m so grateful that so many women around the world connected to it.My book of course was called Fify Shades of Grey.I can see a lot of you connected to it as well.We have even more work to do in being honest about the world we live in.We don’t always see the hard truths, and once we see them, we don’t always have the courage to speak out.When my classmates and I were in college, we thought that fight for gender equally was one that was over.Sure, most of the leaders in every industry were men, but we thought changing that was just a matter of time.Lamont library right over there, one generation before us didn’t let women through its doors.But by the time we sat in your seat, everything was equal, Harvard and Radcliffe was fully integrated.We didn’t need feminism because we were already equals.We were wrong.I was wrong.The word was not equal then and it is not equal now.I think nowadays, we don’t just hide ourselves from the hard truth and shut our eyes to the inequities, but we suffer from the tyranny of low expectations.In the last election cycle in the united states, women won 20% of the senate seats, and all the headlines started screaming out: women take over the Senate.I felt like screaming back, wait a minute everyone.50% of the population getting 20% of the seats.That’s not a takeover.That’s an embarrassment.Just a few months ago this year, a very well respected and well-know business executives in Silicon Valley invited me to give a speech to his club on social media.I’ve been to this club a few months before when I have been invited for a friend’s birthday.It was a beautiful building and I was wandering around looking at it, looking for the women's room, when a staff member informed me very firmly that the ladies' room was over there and I should be sure not to go up stairs because women are never allowed in this building.I didn't realize I was in an all-male club until that minute.I spent the rest of the night wondering what I was doing there wondering what everyone else was doing there, wondering if any of my friends in San Francisco would invite me, a party at a club that didn't allow Blacks or Jews or Asians or gays.Being invited to give a business speech at this club, hit me even more egregious because you couldn't claim that it was only social business that was done there.My first thought was, “Really?” Really.A year after Lean In this dude thought it was a good idea to invite me to give a speech to his literal all-boys club.And he wasn't alone, there is an entire committee of well respected businessman who joined him in issuing this kind invitation.To paraphrase Groucho Marx, and don't worry, I won't try to do the voice I don't want to speak in any club that won't have me as a member.So I said no,and I did it in a way I probably wouldn't have even 5 years before.I wrote a long and passionate email, arguing that they should change their policies.They thanked me for my prompt response and wrote that perhaps things will eventually change.Our expectations are too low.Eventually needs to become immediately.We need to see the truth and speak the truth.We tolerate discrimination and we pretend that opportunity is equal.Yes we elected an African-American president, but racism is pervasive still.Yes, there are women who run Fortune 500 companies, 5 percent to be precise, but our road there is still paved with words like pussy and bossy, while our male peers are leaders and results focused.African-American women have to prove that they're not angry.Latinos risk being branded fiery hot head.A group of Asian-American women and men in Facebook wore pins one day that said I may or may not be good enough.Yes, Harvard has a woman president, and in two years, the United States may have a woman president.But in order to get there, Hillary Clinton is gonna have to overcome 2 very real obstacles, unknown and often ununderstood gender bias, and even worse, a degree from Yale.You can challenge stereotypes that's subtle and obvious.At Facebook, we have posters around the wall to inspire us, Done is better than perfect, Fortune favors the bold.What would you do if you weren't afraid? My new favorite nothing at Facebook is someone else's problem.I hope you feel that way about the problems you see in the world., because they are not someone else's problem.Gender inequality harms men along with women.Racism hurts Whites along with Minorities.And the lack of equal opportunity keeps all of us from failing our true potential.So as you graduate today, I want to put some pressure on you, I want to put some pressure on you to acknowledge the hard truths, not shy away from them, and when you see them to address them.The first time I spoke out about what it was like to be a woman in the workforce was less than five years ago.That means that for 18 years from where you sit to where I stand, my silence implied that everything was okay.You can do better than I did.And I mean that so sincerely.At the same time, I want to take some pressure off you, Sitting here today you don't have to know what career you want or how to get the career you might want.Leaning in does not mean your path will be straight or smooth and most people who make great contribution start way later than Mark Zuckerberg.Find a jungle gym you want to play and start climbing, not only will you figure out what you want to do eventually, but once you do, you'll crush it.Looking at you all here today, I'm filled with hope.All of you who were admitted to a “small school” near Boston, either for your academic potential or your personality or both, you've had your first, whether it's a winter coat, a love or a C, you've learned more about who you are and who you want to be.And most importantly, you've experienced the power of community, you know that while you are extraordinary on your own, we are all stronger and can be louder together.I know that you will never forget Harvard, and Harvard will never forget you, especially during the next fundraising drive.Tomorrow, you all become part of a lifelong community, which offers truly great opportunity, and therefore comes with real obligation.You can make the world fair for everyone, expect honesty from yourself and each other, demand and create truly equal opportunity, not eventually, but now.And tomorrow by the way, you get something Mark Zuckerberg does not have, a Harvard degree.Congratulations, everyone!

祝贺所有人，你们做到了。

我指的不是大学毕业，而是成功出席今天的毕业典礼。如果我们记错，某些同学虽然昨晚在香港餐厅喝了太多蝎子碗调酒，但今天还是来了。

由于天气，这种哈佛还没有弄清楚如何控制的现象，还有同学正在温暖的地方喝热可可饮料，所以，你们有很多为今天出席毕业日活动感到自豪的理由。

祝贺你们的家长，你们花了很多钱，让子女能够说自己是从波士顿附近的这所“小学校“毕业的。还要感谢2014届毕业生邀请我来到这次盛典。这对我价值巨大。看到过往演讲者的名单让人有些敬畏。我肯定没有艾米·波乐那么搞笑，但我至少比特雷萨修女更幽默。

25年前，一个我当时还不认识，但以后会成为我丈夫的男人戴夫，坐在你们现在坐的地方。23年前，我坐在你们现在坐的地方。戴夫和我这周末，带着可爱的子女回校。我们都怀有相同的感触：哈佛的篮球队太棒了！

站在校园中，回忆泉涌。19876年秋天，我从迈阿密来到这里，怀揣着伟大的梦想，还有更夸张的发型。我被分配到哈佛伟大建筑的一座历史丰碑，卡纳迪楼，我是说真的，我当时穿着牛仔裙，白色暖腿袜套，运动鞋，还有一件弗罗里达羊毛衫。因为当时我的父母告诉我，所有人都会人为来自弗罗里达的人很酷。至少，我们那时没有Instagram。

对我而言，哈佛给了我很多第一次，包括我的第一件冬装，在迈阿密没人需要冬装。我的第一份10页论文，高中没人会布置这么长的作业，我第一次得C，这之后，我的学监告诉我说，她在招生委员会，她招我进来不是因为我的学术潜能，而是因为我的品性。我在寄宿学校看到的第一个人，我就觉得这个人会是个大麻烦。我还碰到了第一个名字同整座建筑一样的人，这个人的名字叫做萨拉·威格尔斯沃斯，她和那栋宿舍楼没有关系，当时我很震惊，知道她和宿舍楼没有关系后，我松了一口气。之后，我还碰到了其他人，弗朗西斯·斯特劳斯，詹姆斯·威尔斯，杰西卡科学中心B。我第一位爱人，第一位让我心碎的人，我第一次认识到自己热爱学习，第一次也是最后一次遇到有人在读拉丁文。

我毕业那年，我想好了自己以后有什么计划，我要进世界银行，对抗全球贫穷，然后我要去法学院，然后我将在非营利机构或政府工作，你们院长也讲了，在明天的哈佛毕业典礼上，每个学院都要起立并一同毕业，本科部吗、法学院、医学院等等。我毕业时，我们班为博士生欢呼，然后嘘了商学院，商学院似乎很不受欢迎。18个月后，我就申请了商学院。

我对自己毕业后的数十年规划其实并没错，计划只错在了一年后，就算我算到了自己会在私营企业工作，我肯定算不到自己会在脸谱，那时候没有互联网。那时候马克·扎克伯格还在读小学，已经开始穿他的标志性帽衫了。没有太早锁死自己的道路，让我有机会进入改变生活的全新领域。有些人可能认为我运气好，我想说，卡纳迪楼后，我又被安排到了方院。

从你们所坐的地方倒你们要去的地方是没有直路的，不要尝试画这样的直线，这不仅会出错，还会错失大机遇，我说的是大机遇，例如像互联网这样。

职业不是梯子，那种时代一去不返了，职业更像是立体方格铁架，不要只上下移动，不要只往上看，还要往回看，往旁边看，看转角周围。你的职业和生活会有始终，会有曲折，不要对未来的道路太过忧虑，因为生活中充满了惊喜和机遇，你需要对各种可能性持开放态度。今天我要讲的最重要的一点就是，对诚实保持开放的态度。相互之间说老实话，对自己诚实，也对我们所生活的世界诚实。

看看身边的孩子，你就知道他们有多诚实，我朋友贝琪怀孕后，她五岁的儿子山姆想知道宝宝在她身体里的什么地方。他问，妈妈，宝宝的胳膊在你的胳膊里吗？她说，不是，整个宝宝在我的肚子里。他又问，妈妈，宝宝的腿在你的腿里吗？她回答，不山姆，整个宝宝在我的肚子里。然后，山姆问道，那你的屁股里有什么？ 作为成年人，我们几乎一直很诚实，这是很难得的好事。我怀孕的时候，我问我丈夫我的屁股有没有变大，起初他说没有，但我不断施压，最后，他说，好吧，有一点。

我的小姑子一直说我丈夫，也是你们以后在生活中经常会听到有人说到的：“这家伙竟然是哈佛出来的。”

在人生旅途中，如果听到一些真话会对我很有帮助，我在你们这个年龄的时候，还没有领会到这一点。在我毕业的时候，我对爱情生活的关心大于事业，我认为自己没有什么时间了，必须赶紧找个好男人结婚，以免所有好男人都别人被抢走，或者我太老了。于是，我搬到哥伦毕业特区，在我24岁的时候结婚了。那个男人很不错，但我俩似乎总是相处不好，我变得不知道自己是谁，也不知道未来在哪里。一年不到，我的婚姻以失败告终，当时我非常难堪，非常痛苦。很多朋友来安慰我，但毫无帮助，他们说，我就知道你们俩结婚行不通，我就知道你们俩不合适。没有人在我婚姻之前跟我说这些，事前告诉我这些肯定会更有用。

我熬过了离婚后的这些痛苦时光，我多希望他们原来有给过我建议，我多希望我曾经问过他们。而在我的职业生涯中，确实有人毫无保留地说出了实话。本科后，我的第一任老板是兰特·普利切特，肯尼迪学院授课的一位经济学家，他今天也在现场。我第二次考虑法学院时，兰特跟我说，我不认为你应该去法学院，我也不认为你想去法学院。你认为自己应该去，大概只是你父母一直以来的要求。他注意到，我在谈话中从未表现出对法律的任何兴趣。

我知道 相互之间坦诚相见有多么难，哪怕最亲密的朋友，哪怕是在他们可能犯严重错误的时候，不过我敢打赌，在座的各位知道自己亲密朋友的强项和弱项，知道他们可能掉落在哪个悬崖。我也敢打赌，大部分时候，你们并没有告诉他们，他们也从没问过。去问这些问题，真相会越问越明。朋友城市回答时，你就知道他们是你真正的朋友了。

养成寻求反馈的习惯非常重要，特别是在离开学校系统，没了考试和分数之后。很多工作中，如果你想知道自己干得怎么样，你就需要去询问，而且不要因为听到不喜欢听的而觉得受到冒犯。毫无疑问，听人批评绝对不会让人高兴，但我们只能在批评中进步。

几年前，马克·扎克伯格决定要学中文。为了练习，他开始尝试在一些工作会议中，同中文母语同事交流。你们估计可以想到，他那有限的中文水平，会让谈话很难正常进行。一天，他问一位女性，在脸谱工作怎么样。她用了一个很长很复杂的句子回答。他说，请简单些。她又说了一次。再简单些。经过几次后，她只好说了一句很简单的话“我的经理很糟糕。”他听懂了。

通常，真相都成了避免冲突的牺牲品。我们在讲真相时，总喜欢使用很多修饰，很多委婉语，淹没了真正要传达的信息。我希望你们在向他人询问真相的时候，能用简单明了的语言相互交流。讲到自己的真相时，也应使用简单明了的语言。

同他人坦诚相见很困难，坦诚对待自己的想法甚至更难。我有了小孩后，经常会和自己说，我对工作并不感到内疚，哪怕没有人问我的时候。有人跟我说，雪莉，今天过得如何。我会说，很棒，我对工作并不感到内疚。有人说，我需要一件羊毛衫吗？我说，没错，外面很冷，我对工作并不感到内疚。我就像一只学舌的鹦鹉。

有天，我在跑步机上，正在读社会学杂志上的论文。上面写道，相比对他人撒谎，人们更喜欢对自己撒谎，而重复最多的那些话，通常就是谎言。

我脸上汗如雨下，心想，我重复最多的一句话是什么，我意识到了，我对工作感到内疚，我做了大量的研究，我同好友内尔·斯克维尔花了一整年的时间，写了一本书，讲我的想法和感受。世界上很多女性都同它产生了共鸣，这让我很欣慰。我的书名叫做《格雷的五十道阴影》，可见，你们很多人也都读过这本书。

对于我们所生活的世界保持诚实，我们还有很多要做。我们并不总能看到真相，就算看到了，我们经常也没有大声说出的勇气。

我和同学们在读大学时，认为性格平等的斗争已经结束。没错，大部分行业的领袖都是男性，但改变应该只是时间的问题。那边的拉蒙特图书馆，就在我们之前一代人的时间里，不允许女性进入，但在我们毕业那时，一切都平等了。哈佛和拉德克里夫完全统一了。

我们不需要女权主义，因为我们已经得到了平等。我们错了，我错了，世界在那时并不平等，现在也不平等。我认为现如今，我们并不只是假装没看到真相，并对不平等视而不见，我们还在遭受低预期的践踏。

今年，就在几个月前，硅谷一位很受人尊重的知名商业经理人，邀请我到他的社交媒体俱乐部发表演讲。几个月之前，我去过这家俱乐部。一位朋友过生日邀我去的。建筑很漂亮，我在里面游荡。欣赏她，找卫生间。结果一位员工很肯定的告诉我，女卫生间在那里，我务必不要上楼去，因为女性不允许进入这座建筑，我直到这时才意识到自己来到了一家全男性俱乐部。

剩下的整个晚上，我一直都在纳闷，自己来这里做什么，纳闷其他人都在做什么，纳闷旧金山会不会有朋友邀请我去一个不允许黑人，犹太人，亚洲人，或同性恋者的俱乐部派对。被邀请到这家俱乐部做商业演讲，就更让人不爽了，因为这根本就不是单纯的社交活动场所。

我首先想到的是真的吗？真的。《向前一步》出版后一年，这个家伙竟然认为邀请我到一家全男性俱乐部做演讲是一个好主意。他不是一个人，很多备受尊敬的商务人士，都和他一起发出了这份邀请。

我们需要看到真相，讲出真相。我们容忍歧视，假装机会是平等的。没错，我们选举了一位非裔美国人总统。但种族主义仍然无处不在，不错，确实有女性掌握着财富500强企业，准确说是5%。但我们的道路上，充满了母老虎，跋扈老女人这样的恶语。而我们的男性同行却被尊为领袖，被认为成就卓著。

非裔美国女性总需要证明自己没有生气，拉丁裔总被打上暴躁急性子的标签。脸谱有一群亚裔男女，胸口带着牌子说，我有可能不够好。

没错，哈佛有一位女性校长，也许两年后，美国也会迎来首位女总统。但要实现目标，希拉里·克林顿需要克服两大重要障碍，一是未知，通常也未被理解的性别偏见。二是，更糟的，从耶鲁获得的文凭。

你们可以挑战老一套的做法，在脸谱我们会贴海报激励自己，完成重于完美，财富偏爱勇敢者，不要害怕，勇往直前。我最近又喜欢上一条，在脸谱没有别人的问题。我希望你们也能这样看问题，问题没有别人的问题。性别不平等对男性和女性都没有好处，种族主义对白人和少数族裔都是伤害，缺乏平等机会，让我们所有人无法发挥自己的真正潜能。

在你们毕业的今天，我希望给你们一些压力，让你认识到，真相虽然有时难以接受，但很重要。不要逃避，碰到就要勇于面对。我第一次站出来，公开宣扬职场女权主义，仅仅是不到5年前。也就是说，毕业后，我有18年时间都保持着沉默。这种沉默似乎是在说，一切像这样就行了。你们肯定能比我做的更好。我由衷地这样认为。

同时，我也希望给你们减轻一些压力。今天坐在这里的你们，不需要知道自己该如何走上正确的人生道路。“向前一步”并不意味着你的前路将一帆风顺。很多人对世界的重大贡献都远远晚于马克·扎克伯格。找到你想爬的立体方格铁架，并开始攀爬。你最终会找到你想做的事情，并最终获得成功。

看到今天的你们，让我充满了希望。你们所有人都被录取到波士顿附近的这所“小学校”，也许由于学术潜质，也许由于个人品性。你们经历第一次穿冬装，第一次恋爱，或第一次C。你们更加了解自己是谁，以及自己想成为什么。还有最重要的，你们体会到了团结的力量。你们知道，虽然你们每个人都很出色，但团结起来，你们将会更强，并能发出更大的声音。

我知道，你们永远不会忘记哈佛，哈佛也不会忘记你们，特别是在下次募捐的时候。明天，你们都将步入社会，这是一生的旅途，途中会碰到很好的机遇，也会有很重大的责任，你们能够让世界对于每个人更加公平。对自己和他人，你们需要坦诚相待，要求并创造真正平等的机会。不是最终，而是现在。顺便说下，明天你们将获得马克·扎克伯格所没有的东西，一份哈佛学位。祝贺每一位毕业生！