第一篇:趣味英语相声
趣味英语语法 第一讲
英语的词类 : 旁白:马季先生有个相声,叫做五官争功,不知你听说过没有,说的是眼睛鼻子嘴巴耳朵头 都认为自己最重要。现在英语的词类也展开了一场类似的争论:名词、副词、代词、形容词 等各抒己长,究竟他们谁的作用最重要,还需要大家评判。
一、名词
我们是名词,是一切物体的名称。例如:football track tiger television boy 等就是名 词,任何句子中都少不了名词,你说我们是不是最重要。
二、动词
我们特别好动,所以大家都管我们叫动词。例如:jump run play water 等一切反映某种 动作的词就是我们,其实我们才是最重要的,没有我们,谁知道你在干什么。
三、形容词
名词和动词太自以为是了, 知道我们的作用吗?没有我们日月不光, 一切物体都会黯然失色, 知道我们是谁吗?我们就是大名鼎鼎的形容词,事实胜于雄辩,请看:a beautiful girl,a kind mother,a fierce tiger.能够感觉出我们的重要了吗?美丽的,慈祥的,凶猛的,这就是我们形 容词。
四、副词
谁说动词最重要,没有我们,谁承认你们跳得高、跑得快、练得辛苦。就算你们动词是绿叶 吧,我们副词才是红花,看看我们的本领:jump high,run fast,train hard。你说哪一个动词不 需要我们画龙点睛?关键可是点睛啊, 我们的作用不仅仅是点睛, 有时全句都得靠我们烘托。
五、代词
言外之意就是为我们代替别的词。比如:she 代替 mother、sister,girlfriend 等等的所有表示单 个女性的名词, 我们代词不但可以代替所有的名词, 数词, 有时候还能冷不丁地代替个短语 或句型呢!别门缝里看人,我们可是最最最重要的替身呢!没有我们的替代,谁还喜欢你们 的啰嗦。I you he she they this these those that his her等等,这就是我们代词,你看看,没有 我们, 你们表达这些事情是不是有点不方便:小鹏的妈妈在一家医院工作, 小鹏的妈妈是一 名医生,小鹏的妈妈工作非常努力!哈哈哈,真啰嗦。把划线的地方换成我们的代词,他, 是不是既清楚又简洁。
六、介词
我们是英语中最活跃的词, 几乎所有的句子都得请我们登场, 按照现在最流行的说法, 我们 的出镜率最高。我们特别善于团结其他的兄弟姐妹, 常和名词代词一起构成介词短语, 用以 表示时间地点条件方式等。看看下面的短语,知道谁是介词吗? on the table,under the bed,at 等,我们厉害吧,没有我们人们无法组成完整 的英语句子,我们就是无处不在的介词。
英语中共有十种词类,我们今天认识了名词,动词,形容词,副词,代词,介词。另外四种 数、连、叹、冠,此处不作介绍
作业:阅读相关部分语法材料并完成练习。
第二篇:趣味英语
1.大家都知道,如果路边的小屋上写有w.c.的字样,那大概就是一个可以方便的地方。请问w.c.的完整英语形式是怎样的?
a.washing roomb.washing casec.water closetd.water caster
2.许多同学都有自己的电子邮箱,如 chqdjy@163.com 等。请问其中的@表示什么意思,该怎么读?
a.@ 的意思是“电脑”,读作“a 外一个圈”。
b.@ 的意思是“邮箱”,读作“圈内一个 a”。
c.@ 的意思是“为”,读音与介词for相同。
d.@ 的意思是“在”,读音与介词 at 相同。
3.你给一个手机关机的人打电话,你在电话中听到的英语是:
a.sorry,the phone you waited is powered off.b.sorry,the person you dialed is powering off.c.sorry,the subscriber you dialed is powered off.d.sorry,the subscriber you liked is powering off.4.2008年北京奥运会的英文口号是 _______.a.one world,one dream
b.new beijing,great olympics
c.great china welcome you
d.faster,higher,stronger
5.许多商品的商标上都标有英语字母“tm”或一个带圈的大写字母r,你知道它们是什么意思吗?
a.tm 表示注册商标,带圈的r表示准注册商标
b.tm 是商标符号,r 是商标注册符号
c.tm 是进口商品的商标符号,r 是国内商品的商标符号
d.tm 表示驰名商品的商标,r 表示非驰名商品的商标
「答案与解析」
1.答案选c.即w.c.是由water closet的首字母缩略而来的。它主要用于英国英语,指有抽水设备的厕所,但在美国,人们几乎不用它。英语中表示“厕所”的其他表达还有:toilets,ladies‘ room,men’s room,comfort station,public convenience,restroom,lavatory,washroom 等。
2.答案选d.@ 在此相当于英语中的介词at,意为“在”,故读作“[at]”,如 chqdjy@163.com 的意思就是“位于在163.com 网站上的一个名叫 chqdjy 的邮箱”。
3.答案选c.subscriber的意思是“用户”,dial 用作动词的意思是“拨(电话号码)”,power off 是个短语动词,本意为“切断动力”,这里指“关机”。句中的 you dialed 是定语从句,用以修饰其前的先行词 the subscriber.顺便说一句,假若你拨打一个正在通话的手机,你在电话中听到的英语将是:sorry,the subscriber you dialed is busy now.please redial later.4.答案选a.2008年北京奥运会的英文口号是one world,one dream.选项b(new beijing,great olympics)是北京申办奥运会的口号,其意为“新北京,新奥运”;而选项c(faster,higher,stronger)则是奥林匹克格言。
5.答案选b.即tm 是商标符号,是英文trade mark(商标)的简写;r 是商标注册符号,取的是英文registration(注册)的首字母。tm作为商标符号它只表示该商标已经向商标局登记(申请注册),并不表示商标局已核准注册,另外,有些商标持有者要想声明自己是某商标的拥有者,也可在商标上标明tm,还有的商标上标注的tm可能只是想表示它是商标,而不是商品名称。但是,r则不同,它作为商标注册符号,它不仅表示已经向商标局登记,而且表示商标局已核准注册。换个角度说,标有tm的商标还不受法律保护,而标有r的商标则受法律保护。
中国特色手工艺】clay figurine 泥人;Chinese knot 中国结;shadow puppet 皮影;Four Treasures of the Study 文房四宝;embroidery 刺绣;blue and white porcelain 青花瓷;paper-cut 剪纸;shadow show 皮影戏;keepsake/souvenir 纪念品
【中式早点词汇】烧饼 Clay oven rolls;油条 Fried bread stick;韭菜盒 Fried leek dumplings;水饺 Boiled dumplings;蒸饺 Steamed dumplings;馒头 Steamed buns;饭团 Rice and vegetable roll;蛋饼 Egg cakes;皮蛋 100-year egg;咸鸭蛋Salted duck egg
【颜色】blue 蓝色;turquoise blue 土耳其玉色;cobalt blue 钴蓝色, 艳蓝色;navy blue 藏青色, 深蓝色, 天蓝色;aquamarine blue 蓝绿色;red 红色;scarlet 绯红, 猩红;mauve 紫红;wine red 葡萄酒红;purple, violet 紫色;lavender 淡紫色;lilac 浅紫色;antique violet 古紫色
【各种“店”】restaurant 饭店;hotel 酒店;coffee shop 咖啡店;
bookstore/bookshop 书店;snack bar 小吃店;department store 百货商店;bakery 面包店;laundry 洗衣店;drugstore 药店;barbershop 理发店;grocery 杂货店;clothing store/clothing shop 服装店
【各种灯泡】chandelier, pendant lamp 吊灯;fluorescent lamp 日光灯;desk lamp 台灯;bedside lamp 床头灯;floor lamp 落地灯;wall lamp 壁灯;lampshade 灯罩;bulb holder 灯头;bulb 灯泡;screw-type bulb 罗口灯泡;bayonet-type bulb 卡口灯泡;frosted bulb 磨砂灯泡
【各种椅子】ofa, settee 长沙发;easy chair 安乐椅;armchair 扶手椅;wicker chair 藤椅;folding chair 叠椅;swivel chair 转椅;rocking chair 摇椅;stool 凳子;stool 凳子;bench 条凳;tea table 茶几;desk 书桌 【常见昆虫】mosquito 蚊子;cockroach 蟑螂;bee 蜜蜂;snail 蜗牛;ant 蚂蚁;earthworm 蚯蚓;spider 蜘蛛;centipede 蜈蚣;beetle 甲虫;butterfly 蝴蝶;dragonfly 蜻蜓;cricket 蟋蟀;wasp 黄蜂;firefly 萤火虫;locust 蝗虫;mantis 螳螂;cicada 蝉;termite 白蚁
【五险一金的英文表达】1.endowment insurance(养老保险);2.medical insurance(医疗保险);3.unemployment insurance(失业保险)4.work-related injury insurance(工伤保险)5.childbirth insurance(生育保险)6.housing accumulation funds(住房公积金)
对于那些患有数字13恐惧症的人们来说,今年可真是难熬的一年。
This is going to be a very trying year for people with Triskaidekaphobia, also known as the fear of the number 13.对于那些患有数字13恐惧症的人们来说,今年可真是难熬的一年。
While the superstitious folks afflicted with this problem can easily stay home on Friday the 13th, it’s going to be a lot harder to stay inside for another 362 days。
以往迷信的人可以在家躲过每个13号的周五,但剩下362天难道也在家宅过去吗?
Why is 13 considered unlucky, anyway?
那么为什么13会被认为是不吉利的数字呢?
There were 13 people at the Last Supper。
最后的晚餐有13个人
It's said that Judas Iscariot and the one who betrayed Jesusthe death of a bunch of gods, a slew of natural disasters, and the eradication of everything on earth save for two human survivors.There's a lot more to the story than that, but you get the general idea。
洛基杀了其中一个神引发了一系列事件,最终导致世界毁灭:众神的死亡、自然灾害和地球上一切的消亡(仅幸存2名人类)。这个故事远没有这么简单,但你能差不多明白个大概。
Traditionally, there used to be 13 steps leading up the gallows。传统中通往绞刑台有13个阶梯。
There's also a legend that a hangman's noose traditionally contained 13 turns, but it's actually more like eight。
还有传说称刽子手的纹索上有13个曲纹,但实际上似乎是8个
猫有好几个爱称,譬如puss和kitty.Puss是来自荷兰语(Dutch)和德国南部(Low German)的方言,是模仿猫的呼噜声(imitative of the spitting noise of a cat)的拟声词.到16世纪时puss才成了猫的爱称.pussycat值得是”非常讨人喜欢的人”(a very amiable, likable person)
kitty来自中世纪的荷兰语(medieval Dutch),意思是“罐,容器”(jug or vessel)。
猫猫的万种风情
1. fat cat 肥猫,指“为竞选出钱的富翁;享有特权或谋取特权的人;有钱有势的人,大亨。”
2. cool cat 酷猫,指“时髦人(尤指嗜好冷爵士乐的人);嗜好摇滚乐的人;做出孤傲冷漠的样子的人”。
3. hepcat 迷恋爵士乐的猫,指“爵士(或摇摆舞)音乐迷;爵士(或摇摆舞)乐队乐师。
4. copy cat 好模仿的猫,指“盲目的模仿者(通常为儿童之间的用语)”。
5. hell cat 好发脾气的猫,指“泼妇,巫婆”。关于hell cat 是巫婆的说法要追溯到中世纪,那是迷信的人认为魔鬼撒旦(Satan,the Devil)常以黑猫的样子出现。巫婆抱着一只黑猫,骑着一把扫帚,在夜空游荡。所以,黑猫象征着“厄运”。“不要让黑猫从你面前走过”Don't let a black cat across your path是西方人众所周知的禁忌。
6. the scaredy-cat/ fraidy-cat 恐惧的猫,指“胆小鬼”。
莎士比亚在哈姆雷特里有一句台词:
Let Hercules himself do what he may, The cat will mew and dog will have his day.你知道是什么意思吗?
莎士比亚这句话的意思是说: 该发生的必然会发生,一切应顺其自然”(让大力士做他想做的,猫会叫狗也会笑。)
另外还有一个习语put the cat among the pigeons 这又是什么意思呢? 猫是食肉动物,不仅爱吃老鼠,还爱吃鱼,鸟之类的小生物,把猫放进鸽子群里无异于把狼关进羊群,势必要造成鸽子的极大恐慌。所以,put the cat among the pigeons 表示“惹出乱子,引起轩然大波”。
最后附上一首小诗,《雾》,你知道它和猫有什么关系吗?
Fog
The fog comes
on little feet
It sits looking
Over harbor and city
On silent haunches
And then moves on.—— Carl Sandburg
第三篇:趣味英语
绕口令
A big black bear sat on a big black bug.A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.I wish you were a fish in my dish p She said she should sit.She sells sea shells on the seashore.The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.The sun shines on shop signs.The peasant’s parents’ presents are pleasant.A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.大黑虫咬大黑熊,大黑熊流血了!A tidy tiger tied a tie tighter to tidy her tiny tail.只爱干净的老虎系了一个领带更紧些为了使她的小尾巴整洁
Nancy didn’t fancy doing fancy work.But Nancy’s aunty did fancy Nancy doing fancy work.How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.一个好厨师能和一个会做小甜饼的好厨师做一样多的小甜饼。如果一个好厨师能做小甜饼,那么他能做多少个小甜饼呢? Mike likes to write by the bright light at night.麦克喜欢夜晚在一盏明亮的灯下写作 笑话
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.“Would you recognize him if you saw him again?”asked his mother.“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说,“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟
老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
精彩继续 老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去? 小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!
英语笑话
(二)某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!
英语笑话
(三)江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:“Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.” 翻译照翻,江青心花怒 放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:“Where? Where?” 外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:“Everywhere, everywhere.” 翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:“You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see.”
英语笑话
(五)某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for? 某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.英语笑话
(六)一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan!It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说: “oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan!It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan!It is very fast!” 后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!” 日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计 程表)!Made in Japan!It is very fast!”
英语笑话
(七)英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?” 老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?” 这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你。”
英语笑话
(八)A:What’s on your hand? B:Watch.A:How to spell that? B:T-H-A-T~
英语笑话
(十二)女:say“i love you”,say it,come on!say it!男:it!A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。”
Mrs.Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不识字 布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 经典谚语30句 1. Pain past is pleasure.(过去的痛苦就是快乐。)[无论多么艰难一定要咬牙冲过去,将来回忆起来一定甜蜜无比。
2. While there is life, there is hope.(有生命就有希望/留得青山在,不怕没柴烧。)3. Wisdom in the mind is better than money in the hand.(脑中有知识,胜过手中有金钱。)[从小灌输给孩子的坚定信念。] 4. Storms make trees take deeper roots.(风暴使树木深深扎根。)[感激敌人,感激挫折!] 5. Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.(心之所愿,无所不成。)[坚持一个简单的信念就一定会成功。] 6. The shortest answer is doing.(最简单的回答就是干。)[想说流利的英语吗?那么现在就开口!心动不如嘴动。] 7. All things are difficult before they are easy.(凡事必先难后易。)[放弃投机取巧的幻想。] 8. Great hopes make great man.(伟大的理想造就伟大的人。)9. God helps those who help themselves.(天助自助者。)
10. Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more.(四个简短的词汇概括了成功的秘诀:多一点点!)
[比别人多一点努力、多一点自律、多一点决心、多一点反省、多一点学习、多一点实践、多一点疯狂,多一点点就能创造奇迹!] 11. In doing we learn.(实践长才干。)
12. East or west, home is best.(东好西好,还是家里最好。)13. Two heads are better than one.(三个臭皮匠,顶个诸葛亮。)
14. Good company on the road is the shortest cut.(行路有良伴就是捷径。)
15. Constant dropping wears the stone.(滴水穿石。)
16. Misfortunes never come alone/single.(祸不单行。)
17. Misfortunes tell us what fortune is.(不经灾祸不知福。)
18. Better late than never.(迟做总比不做好;晚来总比不来好。)
19. It's never too late to mend.(过而能改,善莫大焉;亡羊补牢,犹未晚也。)
20. If a thing is worth doing it is worth doing well.(如果事情值得做,就值得做好。)
21. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.(无热情成就不了伟业。)
22. Actions speak louder than words.(行动比语言更响亮。)
23. Lifeless, faultless.(只有死人才不犯错误。)
24. From small beginning come great things.(伟大始于渺小。)
25. One today is worth two tomorrows.(一个今天胜似两个明天。)
26. Truth never fears investigation.(事实从来不怕调查。)
27. The tongue is boneless but it breaks bones.(舌无骨却能折断骨。)
28. A bold attempt is half success.(勇敢的尝试是成功的一半。)
29. Knowing something of everything and everything of something.(通百艺而专一长。)
30. Good advice is beyond all price.(忠告是无价宝。)英语谜语脑筋急转弯
1.What will you break once you say it?(什么东西一说出来就打破?)Silence.(沉默)3.What always goes up and never goes down?(什么东西只升不降?)Your age.(你的年龄)
4.Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun?(男孩为什么让他的狗坐在阳光下?).He wants to have a hot dog.(他想要一条热狗。)9.What makes naughty boys long to work in a clock factory? 淘气的男孩为什么想去钟表厂工作?).They want to make faces.(make face 做鬼脸,做钟表面)1.What month do soldiers hate?--March(三月,行军)2.How many feet are there in a yard?--It depends on how many people stand in the yard.(码,院子)3.Why is an empty purse always the same?--There is no change in it.(零钱,变化)5.What kind of dog doesn't bite or bark?--Hot dog.(热狗)8.How do we know the ocean is friendly?--It waves.(起波浪,招手致意)9.Which can move faster, heat or cold?--Heat, because you can catch cold.(追上冷,患感冒)11.What table is in the field?--Vegetable 12.What is the only thing you can break when you say its name?--silence 13.What is there in your house that ought to be looked into?--mirror 14.What is that which you have never seen, heard or felt, which never existed and still has a name?--nothing 16.What question can never be answered by 'Yes'?--Are you asleep? 19.Where can you always find money?--In the dictionary 21.Where does afternoon come before morning in the world?--In the dictionary 22.What is the smallest bridge in the world?--the bridge of a nose 23.What letter makes a road broad?--letter B 26.What match can't be put in a match-box?--Football match, basketball match, etc.27.When do 2 and 2 make more than 4?--When they make 22.28.I have cities but no houses, forests but no trees, rivers without water.What am I?--A map 34.What is easy to get into but hard to get out of ?--Trouble 35.What is black When it is clean and white when it is dirty?--A blackboard 2.What is smaller than an insect's mouth? Anything it eats.4.What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three? A secret.5.What person tried to make you smile most of the time? A photographer.9.What do you know about the kings of France? They are all dead.10.What question can you never answer 'yes“ to” Are you asleep? 11.Why do some old people never use glasses? They must prefer bottles to glasses.13.What two words have thousands of letters in them? Post office.15.What 5-letter word has 6 left when you take 2 letters away? Sixty.16.When do you go as fast as a racing car? When you are in it.17.How many sides does a house have? Two-inside and outside.19.Where did Columbus stand when he discovered America? On his feet.20.When the boy fell into the water, what's the first thing he did? He got wet first of all.21.Who isn't your sister and isn't your brother, but is still a child of your mother and father? I myself.25.Name five days of the week without saying: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow.26.What animal eats and drinks with its tail? All do.No animal takes off its tail when eating and drinking.27.What has a soft bed but never sleeps, a big mouth but never speaks? A river.28.What kind of dog never bite? A hot dog.29.Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor? Because it can't sit down.31.What wears a cap but has no head? A bottle.32.What rises in the morning and waves all day? A flag.34.How can you tell clocks and watches are shy? Because they always have their hands in front of their faces.36.What comes after the letter “A”? All the other letters.37.What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T? Teapot.38.What word can you make shorter by adding to it? Short.40.Why does the boy carry a ladder to the school? Because he wants to go to high school.41.What can you swallow that can also swallow you? Water.42.What's the difference between a hill and a pill? A hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.43.Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington? Because he's dead.44.A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl.The lawyer went away for a week and gave the girl seven apples before he left.Why? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.45.What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after you? Nothing.Because I'm a woman.46.What always travels on foot? A shoe.47.Where can happiness always be found? In the dictionary.48.What is higher without a head than with a head? A pillow.(枕头)49.Why don't you advertise for your lost dog? He can't read.50.On which side does a bird have the most feathers? The outside.52.What is never used until it's broken? An egg.54.What is dark but made by light? A shadow.55.What can you break with only one word? Silence.56.What stays indoors no matter how many times you put it out? The light.57.A policeman saw a truck driver going the wrong way down a one-way street, but didn't give him a ticket.Why? Because the truck driver was walking.58.Where can milk be best stored? In a cow.59.Which can move faster, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch cold easily.60.What's the hardest thing about learning skating? The ice.61.What has cities with no houses, rivers without water and forests without trees? A map.64.Why is writing called handwriting? If people wrote with their feet, we would have to call it footwriting.65.If there were only three girls in the world, what do you think they would do? Two of them would get together and talk about the other one.66.How many great men have been born in London? None.Only babies.67.When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in it? When you have a hole in your pocket.69.The more you take away, the bigger I become.What am I? A hole.10个经典英语脑筋急转弯
1.Why are people tired on April Fool’s Day?(愚人节人们为什么疲倦?)
答:Because they have just had a long March.(因为他们刚过了长长的三月。March 三月;行军)
2.What weather do mice and rats fear?(老鼠害怕什么天气?)
答:When it’s raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨))
4.What question can never be answered by “yes”?(哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”?)
答:Are you asleep?(你睡着了吗)
6.When can you get water with a net?(什么时候可以用网兜装水?)
答:When water is turned into ice.(当水结成冰时)
7.Why is the pig always eating 猪为什么没完没了地吃?
答:He’s making a hog of himself.它想成为一只肉猪。
8.What’s the longest word in the world 世界上最长的单词是什么? 答:Smiles.Because there’s a mile between the letter ’s’.微笑。因为两个字母S中间隔了一里。
9.What question is that to which you must always answer “yes”? 什么问题你只能回答“yes”?
答:“What does y-e-s spell?”(当别人问你)“yes”怎么拼?
10.Where were you when the power was cut off? 当停电的时候你在哪?
答:In the darkness.在黑暗中
第四篇:趣味地理-说相声记地名[模版]
趣味地理-说相声记地名
一、说相声记地名
甲: 好久没见了,你上哪儿去啦?
乙: 我上冰岛去了。
甲: 你上冰岛干嘛去了?
乙: 到我两姨那儿去。
甲: 你哪两个姨?
乙: 就是:夏威夷,克拉玛依。
甲: 你姨家都有什么人?
乙: 有我姨父南斯拉夫,哈尔科夫。四个表妹和四个表哥。
甲:: 哪四个表妹?
乙: 大表妹波兰,二表妹芬兰,三表妹新西兰,四表妹纽芬兰。
甲: 哪四个表哥?
乙: 大表哥墨西哥,二表哥摩洛哥,三表哥摩纳哥,四表哥圣地亚哥。
甲: 你怎么去冰岛的?
乙: 我先乘落杉矶,又骑巴拿马、罗马,然后换上由北冰洋、太平洋、大西洋、印度洋这四头羊拉的雪橇,一上新加坡、吉隆坡就到家了。这就是多米尼加、马达加斯加、牙买加。
甲: 去的时候,你穿的什么衣裳?
乙: 我穿的阿尔泰山、天山、昆仑山、冈底斯山、唐古拉山、喜马拉雅山,还穿了祁连山、巴颜喀拉山、横断山、阴山、贺兰山、六盘山、邛崃山、大雪山、大凉山、太行山、大巴山、大娄山、大别山、武夷山、十万大山、华山、泰山、嵩山、衡山、玉山、阿里山,外穿一件长白山。(一口气越说越快)
甲: 嗬!你衣服穿的可够多的。你穿的什么裤子?
乙: 巴库。
甲: 你戴的什么帽子?
乙: 没戴…帽子,包头。
甲: 你姨给你做什么好吃的?。
乙: 吃的株洲、广州、苏州、常州,杭州、徐州、柳州,贵州、南极洲。欧罗巴洲,…,甲: 怎么净吃粥也没点儿干的呀?
乙: 有。汉堡,佛得角、约克角、合恩角,还有好望角。
甲: 有什么菜?
乙: 有爪哇、赫尔辛基、埃及、宝鸡、燕子矶、乌拉圭、巴拉圭、约旦、大柴旦、小柴旦、大余、新余。(伸脖子。唷!)
甲: 怎么了?
乙: 鱼卡、茶卡。榆次,硌了我的西班牙,还塞内加尔。
甲: 你留点神。菜怎么做的?
乙: 秘鲁、伦敦、华盛顿、惠灵顿。
甲: 这是什么吃法。菜够丰盛的。有什么水果?
乙: 有匈牙利、奥地利、意大利、刚果;然后拿来尼加拉瓜,巴黎、昌黎、大堡礁、葡萄牙。我们一直吃到大天黑。
甲: 快开灯吧。
乙: 不行。正赶上缅甸。
甲: 啊。赶上停电那怎么办?
乙: 于是就点上了,希腊、苏门达腊,我还接着吃。
甲: 行了别吃啦,吃的够多的了。
乙: 当然。你看我肚子,蒙古。你摸摸里头,内蒙古。我撑的实在不想动就睡了。
甲: 这点出息。睡在哪儿?
乙: 名古屋。我说那儿耶路撒冷。我姨给我铺上巴基斯坦、巴勒斯坦又给我捂上萨拉热窝,结果可给我武汉了,我出了一身阿富汗、伯明翰和察尔汗。
(根据马季等人说的相声改写)
二、蚂蚁说相声猜地名
八 只蚂蚁与一只很大的梨——打n个国家名或地区名:
一只蚂蚁说:“咦,大梨”(意大利)
另一只蚂蚁说:“噢,大梨呀”(澳大利亚)
“嘻,搬呀”(西班牙)
“我来试”(俄罗斯)
“抱家里呀”(保加利亚)
“啃梨呀” ——抱到家里后(肯尼亚)
“梨不嫩”(黎巴嫩)
“爸,梨” —— 一只小蚂蚁跑出来(巴黎)
“爸,拿吗?”(巴拿马)
蚂蚁说:“妈,来吃呀” ——蚂蚁的妈妈来了(马来西亚)
母蚂蚁说:“孩子,那是妈的梨”(马德里)
其中一个见之大叫:“什么东东啊?”另一个说:嘘……梨呀(叙利亚)
核烂 ——吃到里面才知道(荷兰)
一口咬下去:烂的(乍得)
一只蚂蚁抢过来说:这是我的梨(奥地利)
一只蚂蚁咬了梨一口,牙掉了:硬梨!(印尼)
再咬一口:邪门,(也门)有毒!(印度)
一只蚂蚁对另一只蚂蚁说:哥,是大梨呀!(哥斯达黎加)
一只蚂蚁咬了一口,觉得梨不够脆,说:“眠的。”(缅甸)
一只蚂蚁跑过来说,还有梨!咦!?luck!(伊拉克)
甲:蚂蚁对乙:蚂蚁说:爷的, 咋整!(耶路撒冷)
乙:蚂蚁对甲:蚂蚁说:晕,难!(云南)
甲:蚂蚁看见梨,急忙冲上去,乙:蚂蚁忙制止:梨,别压!(利比亚)你别来呀!(利比里亚)
甲:蚂蚁不高兴了:妈的,(马里)梨不是你的呀!(利比亚)
最后,两个蚂蚁分了梨,吃得嘴里直流蜜露!(秘鲁)
刚学说话的两蚂蚁,哥说:“妹,果”(美国)
第五篇:小学生相声 老爸学英语
老爸学英语
甲:大家好!我可想死你们了!谢谢大家稀稀拉拉的掌声。乙:嘿!你可别臭美了,大家的掌声都是送给我这个小帅哥的。甲:切,就你还小帅哥呢,我看你就是个小瘦猴。乙:你啊!这是典型的那个什么“羡慕 嫉妒 恨” 甲:咱俩别在这儿耍嘴皮子了。
乙:那咱们今天为可爱的同学们表演点儿啥呢? 甲:就给同学们讲一点儿有趣的事儿吧。乙:好!(鼓掌)你先讲。
甲:说讲就讲。我就给同学们讲一个“我老爸学英语”的故事吧。乙:啊?!你老爸还会英语呢!
甲:哎!别提了,我老爸以前上学的时候啊,可不爱学英语了呢,有一次英语考试 还考了8分。
乙:啊!这水平都快赶上幼儿园的小朋友了。
甲:哎!大家都先别笑,我就摊上了这么一老爸,有啥法子呢?!乙:是啊!我也对你的遭遇表示同情。
甲:不过啊 我老爸现在知道当初不应该不好好学习,可后悔了 乙:就是!早知现在何必当初呢!
甲:是啊,这不现在 经过一番商讨,我 如今已经成为了8分学生的老师了。乙:时代在发展,科技在进步。儿子成了老子的老师,稀奇稀奇真稀奇。甲:你可不知道 为了教这个8分的学生,我费了多少工夫!乙:都咋的了?
甲:我教他说英语的英文译音是英格力士,你猜他是咋说的? 乙:昂,咋说的 甲:他说 思格力思 乙:哈哈!跑偏了
甲:没办法,我只能放慢语速再教一遍,结果他又说成了“ 应该累死” 乙:哈哈哈哈 可笑死我了
甲:OH My god,我看他真能把我这个老师给累死!乙:你爸爸也挺有才的。
甲:不过工夫不负有心人,经过我的耐心教导,我老爸现在已经能流利的阅读三年级的英语了。
乙:哈哈,有长进,明年就可以到我们班插班了。
甲:说归说,笑归笑。其实我知道我爸爸的苦心,他这样不耻下问,都是为了我,让我引以为戒,好好学习。
乙:是的,天下的父母都是一样的,都是大爱无私的。
甲:在这个欢乐的节日里,我们不能忘记为了我们含辛茹苦的父母。乙:让我们在这里大声说出心里想说的话!合:爸爸 妈妈 您们辛苦了,我爱您们!