10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照)(精选5篇)

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第一篇:10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照)

10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照).txt如果青春的时光在闲散中度过,那么回忆岁月将是一场凄凉的悲剧。杂草多的地方庄稼少,空话多的地方智慧少。即使路上没有花朵,我仍可以欣赏荒芜。Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back.“Anything else?” The nurse asked.“Yes,”Jack thinks for a while and said,“I'm a bachelor.”杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格“还有什么漏填的?”护士问.“有!”杰克想了想说,“我是个单身汉.”Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.“Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.”“Yours?Can you prove it?”“Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.”“请原谅,你占了我的位置.”“你的位置?你能征明这点吗?”“能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌.”One day,Eve asked Adam,“Doyou really love me?”Adam said helplessly,“Do I have any other choice?”一天,夏娃问亚当:“你当真爱我吗?”亚当无可奈何地回答:“我还有的选择吗?”Always Thirsty“I had an operation,” said a man to his friend, “and the doctor left a sponge in me.”“That”s terrible!“ said the friend.”Got any pain?“"No, but I am always thirsty!”总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What“s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I”m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I“ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven”t.I“ve just dropped it.凯特的礼物凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street.He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: ”I think that he is very ill.“"I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I”m not dead.I“m still alive.”“Be quiet, ” said the wife.“the doctor knows better than you!”医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”Waste or Save?Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning.Don“t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad.But I”ve saved you a meal, haven“ I?浪费还是节约父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling.I haven”t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!

第二篇:比尔英语中文对照

比尔精英英语-商务精英实战视频-面试现场-(失败案例)

视频对应中英文对照文本

Marcia Boardman: Good morning Daniel!

早上好,丹尼尔!Daniel:Dan, please„

请叫我丹„„

Marcia Boardman: I'm Marcia Boardmanproducts which are from companies with socially desirable characteristics such as fair employment practices or environmentally sound operational policies

Philip Hart:That's a very good question„

and that's something we're moving towards

at the moment„

这是一个非常好的问题„„

而这,正是我们此刻努力的方向„„ Marcia Boardman:Ok, well, let's move on to the presentation„

好吧, 让我们进入演讲部分吧„

商务精英实战英语-外企英文面试(一般性问题)

视频对应中英文对照文本

面试官:>Well, your resume looks good.嗯,你的履历看起来不错。

I was especially impressed with your cover letter.我对你的求职信印象特别深刻。

You'd be surprised at how many I get that have grammar or spelling

mistakes.我收到的求职信文法或拼字错误数量之多,你一定会感到惊讶。

Yours stood out because it was error free and worded well.你的求职信就是因为毫无错误、用字遣词精准,所以显得突出。

注解 :Impressed With:对„印象深刻

Cover Letter: 求职意向书

Surprised at: 对„感到惊讶

Stood out:(Stand out 的过去式):突出,引人注目

Error Free: 无错;没有误差的 Worded Well:用字遣词精准

求职者:>Thank you.谢谢您。

面试官:>Now, let's get to it.嗯,进入正题吧。

What are your long term career goals?

你的长期职涯目标是什么?

注解:Long Term:长期的Career Goals: 职业目标

求职者:>Well, I look at a career in terms of job satisfaction.嗯,我以工作成就感来看待工作.If I'm satisfied with the job, there's no question of seeking another.如果我对工作感到满意,就没有另谋他就的问题。

注解:In terms of: 依据;按照;在„方面

Job Satisfaction:工作满意度

Be Satisfied with: 对„感到满意

No Question of: 无„的可能性

面试官:>I see.我了解。

then, what would your dream job be?

那么,你理想的工作会是什么?

Describe it to me.描述给我听。

求职者:>It's hard to give specifics on what particular job would bemy dream job

because it's more than just the work itself.要详细说出我的理想工作是什么并不容易,因为所涉及的不只是工作

本身而已。

(If)I can love the job, like the people, contribute to the company and

look forward to going there every day, that would be about as close

to a dream job as I can imagine.〈如果〉我能爱上这份工作、喜欢同事、为公司奉献、期待上班的每一天

那就差不多是我所能想像得到的理想工作了。

注解:More Than Just:不仅仅是

Contribute to:有助于„ , 对„做贡献

面试官:>Who could ask for more than that?!

有那样的工作夫复何求呢?!

Now then, what would you say has been your greatest accomplishment

in your present job?

那么,你认为你目前工作曾有过的最大成就是什么呢?

注解:Accomplishment:成就

商务精英实战英语-外企英文面试(谈论细节)

视频对应中英文对照文本

Marcia Boardman:Hi!Welcome to WebWare.嗨!欢迎来到WebWare。Sarah Timms: Thanks, nice to see you again.谢谢,很高兴再次见到你。Marcia Boardman:You too.So, you said you wanted to come in

and have a chatbefore you started„

我也是。你说你想在开始上班前先过来聊聊。Sarah Timms:Yeah, I just wanted to have a look round and ask

a few more questions, if I can„

是啊,我只是想过来看看,问几个问题,如果我可以„ Marcia Boardman:Sure, fire away!

当然, 说吧!

注解

:Have a chat:聊一聊

Fire Away :开始说,开始问,开火,开始射击。

Sarah Timms:Well, I was delighted to receive the job offer„

嗯,我很高兴获得这个工作机会„„ Marcia Boardman:Good!We were delighted to offer it to you„

好!我们很高兴提供给你这个机会„ Sarah Timms: But before I sign the contractthere were one or two

specifics I wanted to talk about.但是在我签合同前,有一两个细节我想谈谈。

注解:Job offer:工作机会,工作邀请

Sign the contract:签合同

Marcia Boardman:OK„

'specifics'?

好吧„“细节”?

Sarah Timms:Well„

there is a pay scale, instead of a fixed salary„

嗯„„有一个工资标准,而不是一个固定的薪水„„

注解:Pay Scale:工资标准,工资级别,工资等级

Fixed Salary:固定工资;固定薪额

Marcia Boardman:Yes, as a new employee you'd be at thelower endof

the pay scale.18

是的,作为一个新员工你会在工资标准的下端。

Sarah Timms:But takingmy experience into account„

但考虑到我的经验„„

注解:Lower end:下端

Take„ into account:把„考虑进去,考虑到

Marcia Boardman:Well, you haven't had that much experience, we seeyou asan investment„

嗯,你没有那么多的经验,我们把你作为一个投资看待„

Sarah Timms:But that salary would only be a little more than I'm making now.So, instead of asking for a higher level on the pay scale, I thought this could be compensated byadding certainbonuses– for instance if I make certain sales targets, or even break them, I would be looking for a good cash payment, or stock optionsin the company.但工资只我现在的工作多一点点。因此,我不是要求一个更高水平的工资, 我认为工资级别可以通过添加一定的奖金进行补偿——例如,如果我实现了销售目标,甚至打破了销售目标, 我将获得现金奖励,或公司股票期权。

注解:Compensated by:通过„进行补偿

Bonus:奖金

Sales Targets:销售目标

Cash Payment:现金支付

Stock Option:股票期权

Marcia Boardman:Well, that is something we sometimes offer senior

members of staff, but to show good faithI'll provisionallyoffer you the bonus scheme– but I'll have to okay it with Philip first.嗯,那是我们有时提供给资深员工的, 但是为了显示出良好的信念,我暂时给你奖金方案——但我首先的与菲利普确认一下。

注解: Senior Members of Staff: 高级职员,资深员工

Good faith:诚实;善意;真挚

Provisionally

地,临

Bonus Scheme :红利分成图,奖金制度

Sarah Timms:That's fine.I also see there are 25 days holiday.没关系。我也看到有25天假期。Marcia Boardman:Yes.That's standard.这是标准。

Sarah Timms:It's not very much for a high pressure job though„

对一份高压力的工作来说不算多„„ Marcia Boardman:I can't offer you any more holiday.我不能给你更多的假期了。

Sarah Timms:No, but I was wondering if we could delay my start date,so instead of starting a week from now, as we discussed,I could start in a month's time?

不,但我想知道我们是否可以延迟我的上班开始日期,所以不是我们先前讨论的从现在开始的一个星期 ,我可以在一个月后开始吗?

Marcia Boardman:You're a tough negotiator, Sarah!

你是一个强硬的谈判者,莎拉!

注解:Tough Negotiator: 强硬的的谈判者,不妥协的谈判者

Sarah Timms:That's one of the reasons you hired me!

这是你录用我的原因之一啊!

Marcia Boardman:Yes, of course.OK, I think we can do that

I'll look forward to seeing you in a month,and earning those bonuses!

是的,当然。好的,我想我们可以这样做,我期待在一个月

内见到你,并获得这些奖金!

商务精英实战英语-通知求职者面试录取情况

Marcia Boardman: „ok„ok„that's great!

We'll be pleased to have you on the team!

Looking forward to seeing you next week!Bye!

好的,好的,那太好了!

欢迎你加入我们的队伍!

期待下周与你相见!再见!

注解:Looking Forward to :期望,盼望

Philip Hart: Was that Sarah?

是Sarah吗?

Marcia Boardman:Yes – she's going to accept the job,and wants to come in next week for a chat„

是的。她会接受这份工作,并且下周会过来交谈一下。Philip Hart: Great news.Now you just have to tell the other guy

that we don't want him„

真是好消息.现在你所要做的就是告诉另一个人我们不需要他 Marcia Boardman:I hate giving bad news„

我讨厌报忧„

注解:Give Bad News:告知坏消息,报忧

Philip Hart: I'm glad that it's your job and not mine!

幸好这是你的工作,不是我的。

Marcia Boardman:Ok, may as welldo it straightaway„ Dear Mr Watson„

we regret to inform you that you have not got the job„

hmmm„ sounds a bit too direct.How about„Dear Mr Watson, Thank you for your application to WebWare.We regret to inform you that you weren't successful.’

恩,最好还是马上就去做„尊敬的Watson先生,很遗憾的告诉您你未能得到这份工作„恩„貌似太直接了。”尊敬的Watson先生,感谢你来WebWare 应聘,我们很遗憾地告诉您,您未能成功.”这样写怎么样?

注解:May as Well: 不妨,还是„好,还不如,最好

Straightaway:立即的,毫不迟疑的

Philip Hart:Hmmm„I think you should say something positive.恩„我觉得你应该说些积极的东西。Marcia Boardman:But he was terrible!

但是他太差劲了!Philip Hart: Well, he wasn't great, no, but,I think we should be positive and polite.是啊,他当然不出色,但是我觉得我们应该积极点更加有礼貌一点。

Marcia Boardman:Yes, you're absolutely right.OK how about this

“Dear Mr Watson, Thank you for your application to WebWare.You were apromisingcandidate.However, we regret to inform you that the competition for the post was very strong, and we will not be offering you the position.Yours sincerely, etc etc„”

恩,你完全正确。“尊敬的Watson先生,感谢你来WebWare应聘。你是个前途无量的应聘者。但是,很遗憾的告诉你,对这个职位的竞争很激烈,你没能得到这份工作。谨启„”这样你觉得怎么样?

注解:Positive:积极的 Promising:前途无量的,有希望的

Philip Hart:Yes, that's more like it„but we should include some feedback„

恩,这样就比较像了,但是我们还应该写点反馈。

注解:That's more like it :那样才像话;这才像话;本该如此;那还差不多

Marcia Boardman:Of course。how about if I add this:

“In future, you may wish to moderate your personal style, and carefully fact check your CV„” How does that sound?

当然。“今后,您不妨节制一点,仔细核对自己的履历„”如果加上这些,你觉得怎么样?

注解:Moderate:节制,减轻,适度的。

Personal Style:个人风格

Philip Hart:I'm not sure what 'moderate your personal style' means.24

It's a bit vague„

我不太清楚”节制一点”具体是什么意思.有点模糊。

Marcia Boardman: Hmm„ok, how about 'give more specificexamples of your

achievements, and show how you work as part of a team’.恩,那好吧,那么”具体说出您所完成的事情,体现您作为一个团队的一员是起什么作用的”怎么样?

注解:

Specific:具体的 Achievement:成就

Philip Hart:Ok, yes, I like that„and remember to finish with something like,‘We wish you the best of luckin the future’!

恩,不错,我喜欢..记住用“祝你好运”结尾。Marcia Boardman:Of course , I certainly do wish him luck!

Ok!done.I'll send it now.当然,我当然希望他一帆风顺。

好的!写完了。我这就发送出去。

实战小结:

Telling someone that they didn't get the job is not an easy thing to do.Philip helps Marcia to word the rejection letter in a suitable way.Here are a few things you should do in a rejection letter.(1).Address the candidate by name.25

用姓名来称呼应聘者。

(2).Thank the candidate for the time, effort and interest in the company.对应聘者所付出的时间,努力,以及对公司所表现出的兴趣表示感谢。(3).Write a supportive sentence about the candidate's qualifications, experience or, at very least, enthusiasm or motivation.对应聘者的能力,经验,或至少是积极性或干劲予以积极的评价。(4).Make it clear that the reason you didn't hire the candidate was because

you found someone else with better qualifications and experience.要说明他人落选的原因是因为你有更好的选择。

(5).Offer some feedback on how they could improve their interview performance.给他们一些反馈,告诉他们如何提升应聘技巧。

(6).Wish the candidate good luck in his or her career development.对他们的职业发展予以祝福。

(7).Close the letter formally with “sincerely” or “best wishes.”

以“谨启”或”致以最良好的祝愿”结尾。(8).Sign your name, including your title.签上你的姓名以及你在公司的职位。

商务精英实战英语-外企英文面试(具体问题)

求职者:>I'm looking to change jobs because my present company is small and I've gone about as far as I can there.我希望换工作是因为我现在的公司规模不大,而我在那儿能发展的空间已有限。面试官:>This position is demanding.这份工作要求很高。

Describe to me how you handle stress on the job.告诉我你如何处理工作上的压力。

注解:Demanding:要求高的 Handle Stress:处理压力

求职者:>I don't believe all stress is bad.26

我不认为所有的压力都是不好的。

I need the good stress to keep me motivated.我需要良性压力来驱策自己。

I think I actually work better in a challenging environment.我想我在有挑战性的环境下工作其实会表现得更好。Bad stress can be managed with a run.负面的压力跑个步就能解决了。

Something physical does it for me.让身体活动一下就能让我抒解压力。

注解:Keep „ Motivated:使„受到激励 Manage with:用„设法对付

面试官:>Ah!

啊!

Well said.说得好。

Now, tell me why we should hire you.那么,告诉我为什么我们该雇用你。

求职者:>I've got a proven track record.我以往的工作绩效有目共睹。

This position is demanding and I work well under stress.这份职务要求甚高,而我在压力下工作游刃有余。

I've reorganized my team's workload to cover the sudden absence

of a colleague and I do what needs to be done to meet our deadlines.我会重新安排团队工作量以应付同事的突然缺席;我也会完成一切所需以赶上时限。I'm willing to work hard and I flatten the learning curve.我愿意辛勤工作,而且我很快就能上手。

注解:Proven Track Record:可靠的工作业绩 Workload:工作量 Sudden Absence: 突然缺失 Meet Deadlines: 赶上最后期限;按时完成任务 Flatten: 击败,摧毁 Learning Curve: 学习曲线

面试官:>I'm impressed, Howard.我印象深刻,霍华德。

I have to see some other people, but I can tell you, you're in the running.我还得面试其他人,不过我可以告诉你,你已在候选名单里了。Thanks for coming in.谢谢你过来。

You'll be hearing from us next week.你下礼拜就能得到我们的答覆。

注解:In the running: 有赢的希望;有获胜的希;望参加比赛

求职者:>Thank you for your time, Mr.Burns.伯恩斯先生,谢谢您的时间。

商务精英实战英语-评论求职者

Philip Hart: So„what did you think?

那么你觉得怎么样呢?

Marcia Boardman:Well„ between Sarah Timms and Daniel Watson, I think the choice is pretty obvious!

嗯,在Sarah Timms和Daniel Watson之间,28

我相信答案已经很明显了。Philip Hart:Yes , so do I.Watson looked so good on paper„

嗯,我也觉得是这样。Watson的履历相当不错。

注解:Look Good on Paper:Qualifications and experience that are

impressive on a CV 履历看起来很好

Marcia Boardman: He seemed very good when I first spoke to him too..我一开始和他谈话的时候他表现也不错。Philip Hart:First impressions often lie!

第一印象通常是靠不住的!Marcia Boardman:Indeed„I think a lot of his CV was

-how shall we say? “Counterfactual”

的确如此。我觉得他的履历上的很多东西都是„

怎么说呢?“虚假的”

注解:Counterfactual-not reflecting or considering the facts 虚假的

Philip Hart:Yes!it just wasn't true!You should never lie on your CV„

是啊!很多都不是事实!你不应该在履历上作假的!

Marcia Boardman:He had very good references, though – very strange.他有很多好的推荐信,尽管很奇怪。

注解:References :a statement concerning somebody's character or

qualifications, usually given to a potential employer

推荐信;证明;推荐;证明人,推荐人;推荐函

Philip Hart:I guess some people just like that sort of style,but he wouldn't fit in with us„I mean,it's important to be confident – but he was overconfident.我猜有些人大概就是喜欢那样的风格,但他不是我们要的合适人选,我的意思是,自信很重要,但是他太自信了。

注解:Fit in with:同„合得来;适应;符合

Marcia Boardman:I couldn't agree more.His body language was all wrong„

He came across as arrogant.我完全同意你的观点。

他的肢体语言完全错误,让人感觉很傲慢。

注解:Body Language:肢体语言

Arrogant :Feeling or showing self-importance and contempt or

disregard for others 傲慢的;自大的;自负的

Philip Hart:Then he gave very vague answers-

no specific details of what exactly he'd done in his job

而且他的答案模棱两可。没有说明白他到底干了什么

注解:Vague:Not clear in meaning or intention

(想法等)不明确的;暧昧的,含糊的

Marcia Boardman:Whereas Sarah Timms„

反之,Sarah Timms就„ Philip Hart: „knew exactly what she was talking about.完全知道自己在说什么.Marcia Boardman:Yes, she was very convincing, self-assured, but not arrogant.她很有说服力,很自信,而且一点都不骄傲。

注解:Convincing:able to persuade somebody to believe that

something is true 有说服力的;令人信服的 Self-assured:behaving in a relaxed manner that displays confidence

that your views and abilities are of value 有自信的

Philip Hart: She'd clearly done some research on the company,and knew what she was talking about.很明显她对公司做了一些调查,知道自己在说什么。Marcia Boardman:I thought her presentation was excellent.我觉得她的演讲很精彩。Philip Hart:Yes, it was, but I am a little worried about

how much experience she has„

是的,但是对她的经验我有点担心。

Marcia Boardman:Yes, true, but she seems very ready to take

on the challenges the role would offer her.恩,是的,但她似乎准备好迎接这份工作会带来的挑战。

Philip Hart: So? Who do we give the job to?

那么,我们把这份工作给谁呢? Marcia Boardman: Sarah!

Sarah!Philip Hart:Yes, I agree entirely!

恩,我完全同意!

Marcia Boardman:Great!I'll phone her straight away offering the post„

and I'll write a rejection to Mr.Watson!

我会马上打电话给她,告诉她她被录用了!

并给Mr.Watson写封回绝信!

注解:A rejection :A letter to tell a candidate that they have not received 32

the job.回绝信

Philip Hart:OK.好的

商务精英实战英语-外企英文面试(无经验篇)

Interviewee:Good morning, Ms.Mandel.早上好,曼德尔女士

Interviewer :Good morning.Sit down, please.早上好。请坐下 Interviewee:Thank you.谢谢。

Interviewer :You are Chen Bo, aren't you?

I'm Cathy Mandel, Director of the HR Department.你是陈波,对吗? 我是凯茜曼德尔,人力资源部门的主任。

注解:Director:主任,主管;导演 HR Department(HR=Human Resources):人力资源部门,人事部 扩充:Sales Department:销售部 Financial Department:财务部 Research and Development Department(R&D):研发部 Public Relations Department :公共关系

Interviewee :Yes, I'm Chen Bo.Nice to meet you, Ms.Mandel.是的, 我是陈波。很高兴认识你,曼德尔女士。

Interviewer :Nice to meet you, too.I've gone through your resume and would like to know more about you.我也很高兴认识你。我已经看过你的简历,想知道更多关于你的信息。Interviewee:Thank you for your interest in me.33

谢谢你对我感兴趣。

注解:Go Through sth: 仔细检查„;全面考虑„;仔细讨论;搜查

Interviewer :To start with,would you like to tell me a bit about yourself ?

首先, 你愿意告诉我一些关于你自己吗?

Interviewee:Sure, I'm a senior studentat Guangdong University of Finance.I expect to graduate this summer.My major is international finance.当然,我是一名广东财经大学大四的学生。我预期今年夏天毕业。我的专业是国际金融。

注解: To start with: 首先;第一 Senior Student:大四学生;高年级学生 Expect to:预期;期许 International Finance:国际金融

Interviewer:So, why did you choose our company?

那么,你为什么选择我们公司呢?

Interviewee: As far as I know, your company is one of several leading international consultant corporations which came to China after China entered WTO.I think working here would give me the best chance to use what I've learned at university.据我所知,贵公司是中国进入世贸组织后,进入中国的龙头国际顾问公司之一。

我认为在这里工作能给我最佳的机会使用我在大学所学的知识。

注解:As far as a know: 就我所知 Leading Corporations: 龙头企业

Interviewer:As a majorin international finance,what do you think you can do in consultancy?

作为一个主国际金融的学生,你认为你可以做咨询吗?

注解:Major in: 主修;专攻;专业 Consultancy:咨询公司;顾问工作;咨询

Interviewee:Well, I know how to tackle problems.For example, I know

I must first analyzethe problem and work out itsmajor cause.Then I will be able to search for ways to solveit from the available data.嗯,我知道如何解决问题。

例如,我知道我必须第一个分析问题和找出其主要原因。

然后我将从可用的数据中寻找方法来解决它。

注解:Tackle Problems: 解决问题;处理问题 Analyze: 分析 Work out: 算出;想出;解决;弄懂

Major Cause:主要原因

Solve:解决 Available data:现有数据;可用数据

Interviewer: Sometimes data is not enough.Have you got any relevant experiencein this field?

有时数据是不够的。你有任何有关这方面的经验吗?

注解:Relevant Experience:相关经验

Interviewee: Last year, during the probationary period,I was involved in the restorationof a factory in Nanjing.I really learned a lot from the experience,especially how to assesspeople's strengths and abilities.去年,在试用期间,我参与了南京一个工厂的修护。

我真的学到了很多的经验,尤其是如何评估人们的长处和能力。

注解:Probationary Period:试用期,见习期,实习期 Involved in:参与,涉及,包含,牵涉进„ Restoration:修复 Assess: 评估

Interviewer: Can you cope withhard work under pressure and in a tough environment?

你能在压力和艰难的环境中应付艰苦的工作吗?

Interviewee: No problem.I don't care about pressure or the environment as long as I enjoy the work.没问题。我不在乎压力或环境,只要我喜欢这个工作。

注解:Cope with:处理,应对 Tough environment: 艰苦的环境 As Long As: 只要

Interviewer: Good.Now, do you have any questions to ask?

好。现在,你有什么问题要问吗?

Interviewee: Yes, I've got one.Are there any opportunities for Chinese employees

to be transferred to the head officein New York or other branch offices around the world?

是的,我有一个。中国员工有机会被调到纽约总部或世界各地的其他分支机构工作吗?

注解:Transfer to: 转移到 Head office:总部 Branch offices:分公司;分支机构

Interviewer: Um, probably.I think you are likely to be sent to work in an overseas branch to get experience later on once you've proved your worth.嗯,可能。一旦你已经证明了自己的价值,我认为你有可能被送到海外分公司工作以获得经验。

注解:Overseas Branch:海外分公司 Proved one's worth: 证明某人的价值

Interviewee: Oh, great.If I'm accepted, I will do my best for the company.噢, 太好了。如果我被录取了, 我将为公司尽我最大的努力。

Interviewer: I wish you luck!We'll notifyyou of our final decisionby Friday.我祝你好运!我们会在星期五通知你我们的最终决定。

注解:Be Accepted:被录取, 被接受 Notify:通知 Final Decision:最后决定,最终决定,最后判决

Interviewee: Thank you, Ms.Mandel.Goodbye.谢谢你,曼德尔女士。再见 Interviewer: Goodbye.36

再见。

商务精英实战英语-外企英文面试(跳槽篇)Interviewee:May I come in?

我可以进来吗?

Interviewer:Yes, please do.是的,请。

Interviewee:Good morning, sir.My name is Merry Wang.I've come for an interview, as requested.早上好,先生。我的名字是王梅莉。我是应邀来参加面试的。

注解: As Requested:应邀,按照要求,依照要求;应„要求

Interviewer: Nice to meet you, Miss Wang.I am Harry White, Director of the HR Department.I was expecting you.Please, take a seat.很高兴见到你,王小姐。我是哈利怀特,人力资源部门的主任。我一直在等你。请坐。Interviewee:Thank you.谢谢。

Interviewer:Well, Miss Wang, you are applying for the position of Sales manager, right? How did you know about our company?

嗯, 王小姐,你应聘的是销售经理的职位,对吗? 你是怎么知道我们公司的?

Interviewee:I got to know your company from your TV commercials.They are elaborately designed and produced,and leave me deep impression.And in the summers

summers of 1997 and 1998 I worked as a salesgirl for your company in GZ.我从贵公司的电视广告知道贵公司的。

广告的设计和制作都很精细,让我印象深刻。

在1997及1998年的夏季,我在贵公司的广州分公司担任过销售员。

注解:TV Commercials:电视广告 Elaborately Designed:精心设计 Work as:担任

Interviewer:Really? That's good.Then you must know something about our company? 真的吗? 很好。那你一定知道一些关于我们公司的情况了?

Interviewee:Yes, a little.Your company is very famous.Your cosmetics and skincare products are very popular with women all over the world.是的,一点点。贵司很有名。你的化妆品和护肤品很受世界各地的女性欢迎。

注解:Cosmetics: 化妆品 Skincare Products:护肤品 Popular with:受„的欢迎

Interviewer: Huh, that's right.Miss Wang,can you tell me which university you attended?

嗯,没错。王小姐,你能告诉我你上过哪所大学? Interviewee: Sun Yat-sen.中山大学。

注解:Sun Yat-sen:孙中山

扩展:The Sun-yat-Sen Park: 中山公园 Former Residence of Sun-Yat-sen: 孙中山故居 Sun Yat-sen Monument: 中山纪念碑

Interviewer:And what degree have you got?

你有什么学位?

Interviewee:I have a bachelor's degree in business administration.我有一个商业管理学士学位。

注解:Bachelor's degree:学士学位 Business administration:商业管理 扩展:Master's degree: 硕士学位 Doctor's Degree: 博士学位

Interviewer:How is your English? You know, some staff members in our company are Americans, so conversational English is very important.你的英语怎么样? 你知道,我们公司的一些员工美国人, 所以会话英语是非常重要的。

注解:Staff Members: 职工,管理人员 Conversational English: 会话英语

Interviewee: I passed TEM8 at college, and I am good at oral English.I think I can communicate with Americans quite well.我在大学通过英语八级考试,我擅长英语口语。我认为我可以和美国人很好的沟通。

注解:TEM8:英语专业八级考试(Test For English Major-8)

Interviewer:Good.I know you are now with United Butter.What is your chief responsibility there?

好。我知道你现在在United Butter工作。你在那里的主要职责是什么?

注解:Chief Responsibility:主要职责

Interviewee: I've worked there for five years, since I graduated from college.Two years ago, I was appointed Brand Manager

– responsible for the Panda line of biscuits.自从我大学毕业以后,我已经在那儿工作五年了。

两年前,我被任命为品牌经理,负责熊猫系列的饼干。

注解:be Appointed:被任命为„ Responsible for:负责,为„负责

Interviewer:Why do you want to change your job?

你为什么想换工作呢?

Interviewee:I want to change my work environment, seek new broaden my experience.That's why I want to move into sales.我想改变我的工作环境,寻求新的挑战,拓宽我的经验。

这就是为什么我想进入销售的原因。

challenges

and

注解:Seek new challenges: 寻找新的挑战 Broaden one's experience:拓宽某人的经验

Interviewer:What do you think is the most important qualification for a salesperson? 你认为对一个销售员来说最重要的条件是什么? Interviewee:I think it's self-confidence and quality products.我认为是自信和优质的产品。

注解:Quality Products:优质的产品

Interviewer:I agree with you.What salary would you expect to get here?

我同意你的观点。你希望拿多少薪水?

Interviewee:well, I would leave it to you to decide after you consider my abilities.My current annual income at United Butter is 150 thousand.But, er, „ could you tell me a little more about what the job entails?

嗯,在你考虑我的能力后我会让你来决定。

我目前在United Butter 的年收入是15万。

但是,呃,„你能告诉我一些这个工作需要什么?

注解: Annual Income: 年薪 Job Entail:工作的具体要求

Interviewer: You would be in charge of all the sales activities, for all hair products

in northeast China.This would involve market analysis, client service and development, sales promotion, and regular customer satisfaction

surveys.You'd report directly to the Regional Sales Director.Do you have any other questions?

你将负责中国东北美发产品的所有销售活动。这将包括市场分析、客户服务和开发、销售推广、和定期的客户满意度调查。你会直接向区域销售总监报告。你有任何其他的问题吗?

注解:Sales activities: 销售活动 Hair products: 美发产品 Market analysis: 市场分析 Client service and development: 客户服务和开发 Sales promotion: 销售推广 In charge of: 负责 Regular customer satisfaction surveys: 定期客户满意度调查 Report to: 向„报告 Regional Sales Director: 区域销售总监

Interviewee: Yes, only one.When can I have your decision?

是的,只有一个。我什么时候可以得到您的决定?

Interviewer: I need to discuss with other board members.We'll notify you of our decision as soon as possible.But „ to be honest, you seem to be a good candidate with the right kind of experience and personality.You're high on my list.我需要与其他董事会成员讨论。我们会尽快通知你我们的决定。但是„老实说,你似乎是一个很好的候选人,有合适的经验和个性。你在我名单上的排名很靠前。

注解:Board members:董事会成员 Candidate:候选人

Interviewee: That's good!Thank you, Mr.White.I look forward to hearing from you.Goodbye.很好!谢谢你,怀特先生。我期待着你的消息。再见。Interviewer: Goodbye.再见。

商务英语实战视频之打电话通知求职者面试

面试官:Hi, I'm Marcia Boardman, I'm calling from WebWare.你好,我是玛西娅·博德曼,我正从WebWare给你打电话。求职者1:Oh hi, Marcia.Great to hear from you.噢, 嗨,玛西娅。很高兴接到你的电话。

面试官:You'll already have been told you've been Shortlisted forinterview„

有人告诉我你已经入围面试„„

注解:Shortlisted for :入围

求职者2:Oh„ yes„ great„ hello? Can you hear me?

哦„„是的„„太好了„„你好? 你能听到我说话吗? 面试官:Yes„ Is it OK if I call you now? Would you like me to call you back later?

是的„„我可以现在给你打电话吗? 你愿意我稍后再打电话给你吗? 求职者2: Erm, no, no, no, that's OK„

嗯,不,不,不,没关系„

面试官:Good – well we're very excited about meeting you.OK, I just want to talkyou throughthe Procedure for the day.Someone will meet you when you arrive, reimburse you for any travel expensesyou may have, and then bring you up to meet myself and Philip Hart, the CEO.很好,我们都很期待见到你。好吧,我只是想和你谈一下面试当天的流程。当你到达时有人会接待你,报销任何旅行费用,然后带你来见我和菲利普·哈特,公司的CEO。

注解:Talk sb through:向某人说明

Procedure: 流程

[prə'siːdʒə]

Reimburse:报销[,riːɪm'bɜːs]

Travel expenses: 旅行费用

求职者1:OK, sounds good.So will you be the only members of the interview panelthere then?

好的,听起来不错。所以你会是面试小组唯一的成员吗?

注解:Interview Panel:面试小组

面试官:Yes, it'll be just me and Philip who will talk to you.The interview will be in three parts – first of all we'll ask you some general questions about yourself and your educational and professional background, then we'll move on to specifics.是的,面试小组将会只有我和菲利普会和你谈。面试将在分成三个部分,首先我们会问你一些关于你自己,你的教育和职业背景的一般性问题,然后我们将会谈具体的细节。

注解:General questions:一般性问题

Specifics: 细节

Educational and professional background:教育和职业背景

求职者2: Oh, er, specifics? Well er, what kind of questions will you be asking?

噢,呃,细节吗? 呃,你会问什么样的问题?

面试官:Well, it'll be very similar to the personal statementyou submittedwith your CV – we'll be expecting you to give actual examplesof problems you've faced and solved, and of what you feel are the major successes in your career so far.嗯,非常类似于与你的简历一起提交的个人陈述,我们会期望你针对你面对和解决的问题给出实际的例子,以及到目前为止,在你的职业生涯中你感觉主要的成功是什么?

注解:Similar to : 类似于

Personal Statement :个人陈述

Submit :提交

CV:简历(Curriculum Vitae)

Actual Example:实际例子

Career:职业生涯

求职者1:OK, well yeah, that sounds great – can't wait!

好的,嗯是的,听起来不错,等不及了!

面试官:Then there'll be a chance for you to ask us any questions – about the job itself, or WebWare in general„

然后将会有一个机会让你问我们任何问题——关于工作本身,或者关于WebWare 的一般性问题„.求职者2:Oh, erm, OK„ I'll think of something!

哦,嗯,好„„我会想出些问题的!

面试官:After that, we'd like you to give a short presentation on how you see WebWare as a company progressing, and how you see yourself taking us there.之后, 关于你是如何把WebWare看做是一个成长的公司,以及你如何看待你自己把我们带到那里去,我们希望你提供一个简短的陈述.注解:Short Presentation:简短的陈述

求职者1:OK so will I be expected to give like a formal style presentation?

好的 所以我将需要会给一个正式的陈述吗?

注解:Formal style presentation 正式的陈述

面试官:It can be as formal or informal as you like.There'll be a flipchartand a data projectorthere available.If you need anything else, just let us know.它可以是正式或非正式的,你喜欢怎么做就怎么做。将会有一个白板和一个投影机可用供你使用。如果你还需要别的什么,告诉我们一声就可以了。

注解:Flipchart:白板

Data Projector:投影仪

求职者2:Oh, erm OK, a presentation!I'll think of something.I haven't done one of those in a while„

哦,嗯好,演讲!我总会想到些什么。我有一段时间没做过这些了„„ 面试官:Is that all clear? Great, so, Daniel, I'll see you at 11am, a week tomorrow.都清楚了吗? 太好了,所以,丹尼尔, 从明天起一周后上午11点见。求职者1:OK, great, I look forward to meeting you!Thanks, bye.好的,很好,我期待见到你!谢谢,再见。

面试官:OK, so, Sarah, we'll be seeing you at 1:00 pm, a week tomorrow.Best of luck!

好的,那么,莎拉,我们会明天起一周后下午1点见。祝你好运!求职者2: Oh, thanks„ I'll need it„

哦,谢谢„我需要它„

第三篇:英语短文笑话(带翻译)

1、How much English can you speak?

“Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft.He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around.What's more, he only speaks a few words of English.” The judge looked at the defendant and asked, “How much English can you speak?” The defendant looked up and said, “Give me your wallet!”

中文翻译

“法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。而且,他只会说几个英语单词。” 法官看了看被告,问道:“你会说多少英文?” 被告抬起头,说:“把你的钱包给我!” 2

A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day.She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.He said, “What?” 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果,为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字,而女人每天使用30000个。

妻子想了一会儿说,女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍,因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问:“什么?” 3

Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.男孩:这个座位是空的么?

女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。

4、“Tom, what's the matter with your brother?” asked the mother in the kitchen.“He's crying.” “Oh, nothing, Mum,” replied Tom.“I'm eating my cake.He is crying because I won't give him any.” “But has he finished his own cake?” “Yes.” said Tom.“And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.” “汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?” 妈妈在厨房里问。“他在哭。” “没事儿,妈妈,” 汤姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。” “他已经吃完自己的了么?” “是的。” “我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。”

2009-6-7

A guy says to his friend, “Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.” The friends says, “If I guess right, will you give me one of them?” The first guys says, “If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!” 路人甲对路人乙说,“猜猜我兜里有几个子儿?” 路人乙说:“我猜对了,你能给我一个不?” 路人甲说:“你要猜对了,我两个全部给你!”

2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别

“I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class,” said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course.“When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the graduate students just write it down.” 一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说:“我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生,哪些是研究生。” “我说'下午好'的时候,本科生回答'下午好',而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。”

2009-6-5

Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days? Tom: Every month.爸爸:告诉我汤姆,哪个月有28天呢? 汤姆:每个月都有啊!

2009-6-4making faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child.Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that”.Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.” 史密斯小姐发现她的一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼脸,便去轻责他。

这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着,说:“博比,我小的时候,有人告诉我如果我做鬼脸,我的脸就会僵硬,永远都那么丑。” 博比抬头看了看老师,说:“史密斯小姐,你可别说没人警告过你啊。”

2009-6-3

A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, “Thanks for the peanuts.” She says, “Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off.”

一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。

当他和祖母聊天时,他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生,并把花生都给吃光了。他们离开时,他的朋友对祖母说:“谢谢您的花生。” 结果祖母说:“唉!自从我牙齿掉光后,我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。”

2009-6-2

A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.“All right, son,” asked the father, “What does that show you?” “Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.” 一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。

他把分别把两只虫子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做对比。清水里虫子安然无恙,结果威士忌里的虫子蜷缩了几下就挂掉了。

“所以,儿子啊,”父亲问道,“得出什么结论?” “恩,这说明,你只要喝酒的话,肚里就不会长虫了!”

2009-6-1

Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.“Doctor,” he said, “you must help me.I swallowed a penny about a month ago.”

“Good heavens, man!” said the doctor.“Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?”

“To tell you the truth, Doctor,” the poor man replied, “I didn't need the money so badly then.”

中文翻译:

一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

“大夫!”他说,“帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!”

“天哪,”大夫说,“早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?”

“实话告诉您吧,大夫,”穷人说,“我当时还不缺钱!”

2009-5-31

Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice? Girl: Must've been once.I never make the same mistake twice.男孩:嗨,我们之前是不是约会过,是一次还是两次,我忘记了。

女孩:应该只有一次吧,我从不犯两次同样的错误。

2009-5-30

In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, “What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?” “To be deaf,” replied the boy.“Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.“Why, sir!Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问其中一个男孩:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?” “耳聋,”男孩答道。

“胡说!”老师气愤地说。

“怎么了,先生!难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗?”男孩轻蔑地反问道。

2009-5-28

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: “What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?” The man: “We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month.” Bartender: “That should make you happy.” The man: “No, the month is up today!” 一个男人坐在酒吧里,伤心至极。

酒吧招待:“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?” 男人:“我们吵了一架,她说一个月都不跟我说话。” 酒吧招待:“那你应该高兴才是啊!” 男人:“不,今天是这个月的最后一天。”

【Laughter】2009-5-27 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.女人找了老公之前都在担忧未来。男人娶了老婆之前从来不为未来担忧。

2009-5-26

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.男人想要的东西,要是值1块钱却卖2块,他也会买;而对于女人,即使是不想要的东西,要是值2块钱却只卖1块,她也会买。

2009-5-25

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa.“Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.Anybody caught breaking this rule the

2nd time will be fined $60.Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180.Are there any questions?” At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Umm...How much for a season pass?” 女生宿舍将全面禁止男生进入,男生宿舍也同样不得女生光临。

“不论是谁,一旦违规,初犯将被罚款20美元。再犯要被罚款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罚款。还有什么疑问么?” 这时人群中一个男同学问道,“那么一个季度通行证需要多少钱?”

2009-5-24

Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗? 女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。

2009-5-22

Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.Patient: It should.I've been practicing all night.医生:听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

病人:应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。

2009-5-21

Pete: “The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I'd ever done came into my mind.” Bob: “Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from.” 皮特:“我上次出去打猎,跌下了很高的悬崖,信不信由你,当我跌落的时候,我脑海里浮现了我做过的所有蠢事。” 鲍勃:“你一定是从万丈高山上跌落的吧。”

2009-5-19

Spending the night with their grandparents, 2 young boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers at bedtime.The younger boy began praying at the top of his lungs:“I PRAY FOR A BIKE...I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD...” His older brother nudged him and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!” 2个男孩与祖父母一起过夜,他们跪在床边做睡前祷告。弟弟声嘶力竭地祈祷: “我祈求一辆自行车,一张新DVD……” 哥哥用肘轻推他: “你为什么大喊着祈祷?上帝又不聋。” 弟弟答道:“上帝是不聋,但是奶奶聋。”

2009-5-18

A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time.Coming up beside her, he said, “Pull over!” “No,” she replied, “a pair of socks!” 巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣,便开车上前,说:“靠边停车(套头衫)!” “不,” 她回答,“是一双袜子!”

In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died.The teacher asked a student,“what does this show?”

The student answered,“It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol.”

酒的好处

为了证明酒精对生物的危害,老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里,虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生:“这说明了什么?”

学生答道:“说明人多喝酒,就不会长虫子。”

1.Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?

Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?

Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.把乌龟换成狼

老师:有些同学开始骄傲了,大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明,你说说看,兔子为什么输给乌龟?

小明:因为它睡觉了。

老师:对极了!我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢?

小明:把乌龟换成狼!

Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion.So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared.Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide.Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture.As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain.There was no sign of the lion.“What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?” asked the chief.“Forget the damn lion!” he howled.“Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?” 伟大的猎手Jonesie

有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是,村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

猎手躺着等了几个晚上,但狮子一直没有出现。最后,他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后,猎人到草原上去等狮子。

半夜,村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后,看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

“Jonesie,怎么了?狮子在哪?”村长问。

“哪有狮子!”猎人怒吼道,“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?”

————————————————————————————————————————

Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained.A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm.“This Indian is incredible,” said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.Finally the director sent for him.“I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?”

The Indian shrugged his shoulders.“Don't know,” he said.“Radio is broken.” 天气预报

一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说“明天下雨.”第二天果然下雨了.一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,“明天有风暴.”果然,第二天下了雹暴.“印度人真神,”导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.最后,导演派人去把他叫来了.“我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,”导演说,“这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?”

印度人耸了耸肩.“我不知道,”印度人说,“收音机坏了.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece.But he soon found himself being battered by

frantic women.He stood it as long as he could;then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.“You there!” challenged a thrill voice.“Can't you act like a gentleman?”

“Listen,” he said, “I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour.From now on, I am acting like a lady.”

我要表现得象位女士

一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。

“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道,“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?”

“听着,”他说,“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。”

第四篇:英语小笑话 带翻译

One day a person meet god......God suddenly decide to give the man a wish......God asked......What wishes do you have......The man thinking......Heard that cats have9 lives......Would you please give me9 lives......God said......Your wish come true......One day, the boring...Want to say one death to die......There are9 life lying on the tracks......The results of a train in the past......The man was dead......Why is this?

Because the train compartment having10day......有个人一天碰到上帝......上帝突然大发善心打算给那人一个愿望......上帝问......你有什么愿望吗......那个人想了想......听说猫都有9条命......那请您赐给我9条命吧......上帝说......你的愿望实现咯......一天,那个人闲来无聊......想说去死一死算了......反正有9条命嘛 就躺在铁轨上......结果一辆火车开过去......那人还是死了......这是为什么呢?

因为那列火车的车厢有10节......Music class the teacher played a Beethoven song

Xiao Ming asked her:“ do you understand music?”

Xiaohua:“ yes”

Xiao Ming:“ you know what teachers do in the shells?”

Xiaohua:“ piano.”

音乐课上 老师弹了一首贝多芬的曲子

小明问小华:“你懂音乐吗?”

小华:“是的”

小明:“那你知道老师在弹什麼吗?”

小华: “钢琴。”

Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run.It left fifteen minutes ago.旅行者:我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗?

售票员:那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。

第五篇:英语演讲稿带翻译笑话

we are the world ,we are the future someone said “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”.i don’t know who wrote these words, but i’ve always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want it to be.we are all in the position of the farmers.if we plant a good seed ,we reap a good harvest.if we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.we are young.“how to spend the youth?” it is a meaningful question.to answer it, first i have to ask “what do you understand by the word youth?” youth is not a time of life, it’s a state of mind.it’s not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple knees.it’s the matter of the will.it’s the freshness of the deep spring of life.a poet said “to see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.several days ago, i had a chance to listen to a lecture.i learnt a lot there.i’d like to share it with all of you.let’s show our right palms.we can see three lines that show how our love.career and life is.i have a short line of life.what about yours? i wondered whether we could see our future in this way.well, let’s make a fist.where is our future? where is our love, career, and life? tell me.yeah, it is in our hands.it is held in ourselves.we all want the future to be better than the past.but the future can go better itself.don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.from the past, we’ve learnt that the life is tough, but we are tougher.we’ve learnt that we can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose what about it.failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it, it does mean you should do it in a different way.failure doesn’t mean you should give up, it does mean you must try harder.as what i said at the beginning, “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”.the past has gone.nothing we do will change it.but the future is in front of us.believe that what we give to the world, the world will give to us.and from today on, let’s be the owners of ourselves, and speak out “we are the world, we are the future.”

世界是我们的,未来是我们的

一些人说“我们正在读一本无穷的书中的第一章的第一节。”我不知道谁写了这些话,但是我一直很喜欢它,因为它提醒了我,我们能够创造我们想要的未来。我们都是农夫。如果我们播下好的种子,我们将会丰收。如果我们的种子很差,有很多草籽,收割的将是无用的庄稼。如果我们什么也不播种,什么收获也没有。

我们是年轻的。“怎样度过青春?”这是个有意义的问题。为了去回答它,我首先要问“从?青春?这个词中你能理解到什么?” 青春不是人生的一个时期,而是精神的一种状态。青春不是桃面、丹唇、柔膝,而是深沉的意志。青春是生命的深泉在涌流.一位诗人说“从一粒沙看世界,从一朵花看天堂,把无限放在你的手掌,永恒在一刹那里收藏”。几天前,我有了一个听讲座的机会,从中我学到了很多东西。现在,我想把这些与大家共享。让我们伸出右手,我们可以看到手掌中的展示我们的爱,事业和生活的三条线。我在生活方面这条线很短,那你们的呢?我想知道我们是否可以用这种办法去看我们的未来。好的,让我们一起握拳。我们的未

来在哪儿?我们的爱、事业和生活在哪儿?告诉我!是的,它们就在我们的手中。它们被我们自己掌握着。

我们所有人都希望未来能比过去更美好,但是未来能自己变得更好。不要因为结束而哭泣,微笑吧,为你的曾经拥有。从过去来看,生活是艰苦的,但我们是更坚强。我们知道我们不能选择感觉,但是我们能选择和它相关的东西。失败并不意味着你不拥有成功,它只意味着你应该用另一种方式去做这件事。失败并不意味着你应该放弃,只意味着你应该更加努力。

正如我在前面所说的“我们正在读一本无穷的书中的第一章的第一节。”过去的已经过去,无论我们无力改变,但是未来却在我们前方。相信“我们给了世界什么,世界也将给我们”。并且从今天起,让我们一起做我们自己的主人,一起大声说出“世界是我们的,未来是我们的。”篇二:中英文幽默演讲

幽默演讲——调侃自己(中英对照))

演讲者如何调侃自己

创新句子:你们或者睡觉,或者不睡,只要不打呼噜,我就接着讲。

幽默注释:演讲者讲得太糟糕了,组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时,宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若,优雅地点头微笑着,心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。

poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释:一些老干部退休后没什么事干,有人请他参加一些活动,他还假装很忙,好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张,但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻,我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体,真的起作用,我不再紧张了,但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness.eyestrain.yes.幽默注释:把观众想象成裸体,意思是我不怕你们,就不紧张了。

创新句子:大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张,我属于少部分人,我非常紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子:他因为自己不自负,所以变得非常骄傲。

创新句子:我一点儿都不自负,我希望别人也这么看我。

我先用简单明了的英语演讲,以后我再翻译给律师听。

let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释:律师总喜欢用复杂的语言,简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子:我的讲话有三个版本,小学生版本,中学生版本,大学生版本,你是听小学一年纪版的,还是小学二年纪版的?

如果你听过这个故事,请不要打断我,我就知道这一个故事。if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注释:就是你知道两个故事,讲故事前也可以这么说。

创新句子:我讲个笑话,如果你们听过,也希望装做没听过,我也这样照顾你们。

演讲就象给草坪浇水,如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释:有人打呼噜,有人说话,都是正常的,有四分之一观众听就不错了。

幽默句子:即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子:我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲,我不知道我要讲点儿什么。

开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目,我现在少讲20分钟,我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释:放着现场不看,偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因:第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者,——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了,所以就打电话把我找来了。

幽默注释:一开始好象在说自己很牛,其实就是个临时替场。

创新句子:我认为我演讲很风趣,可为什么没人笑呢?

有人有舞台恐惧症,我没有;舞台不会怎么样我,是观众快把我吓死了!some people suffer from stage fright.i don’t.the stage doesn’t bother me at all.it’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!幽默注释:stage fright舞台恐惧症,而不是舞台吓唬我。

我们每个人都希望能在某一时刻把时钟拨回去。如果我能够把时钟拨回去 at one time or another, i think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock.i know if i could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, i’d be the happiest person in this room.because that’s when i left my speech on the kitchen table.幽默注释:自己上台前还在刻苦练习,演讲稿落家里了,讲错了希望观众包涵。

我不想吹牛,但上次我演讲时所有的观众都站了起来,他们再也没有坐下,直到走到他们的汽车那儿。

i don’t want to brag, but the last time i did this it brought the audience to its feet.and they never sat down again until they reached their cars.幽默注释:观众听他演讲,都站起来走了,他还在吹牛呢。

创新句子:我演讲时用一种平缓的语速娓娓道来,观众睡得很香甜。

如果我有点儿犹豫,你们一定要原谅我,这是我第一次饭后演讲——在卖当劳里冲我的小孩儿喊叫除外。if i’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me.this is the first after-dinner speech i’ve ever made---except for yelling at my kids in mcdonald’s.幽默注释:自嘲自己演讲没什么经验。

创新句子:你可能知道我已经养成了饭后演讲的习惯。

我不习惯面对这么多观众演讲,让我鼓起勇气的一件事情就是我在谈论我最喜欢的题目——我。

i’m not used to speaking to such a large audience.the one thing that gives me courage is that i’m speaking on my favorite subject---me.幽默注释:电视上老是邀请一些名人在那儿大谈自己,这些人开场可以这么说。

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