《内向者优势》读后感5篇

第一篇：《内向者优势》读后感

《内向者优势》读后感

推荐内向的朋友，或者觉得自己的孩子是内向的朋友看。也许会有收获。

书是战隼的微信公众账号推荐的，立刻找来看，几乎一气呵成地看完。觉得写得很不错，推荐给我认为典型内向性格的刘兄。刘兄看了以后大呼写得太到位，赞“这是我近期看的最有价值的一本书”。他说“这本书让我少了很多纠结，我想对自己今后的行为方式都会有很大的影响”。

作者说，外向和内向的人的比例是3:1，所以这是个外向人占主导的世界。在这样的世界里，内向的人该如何更好地生活？这就是本书要解决的问题。作者自己就是一个典型的内向的人，在书中，她几乎一直说“我们”如何如何。这种第一人称的叙述，极大地拉进了和读者的距离，读起来非常真实。偶尔有些描述和我吻合的，我也觉得分外亲切，直击内心。

在阅读的过程中，我一直将作者提及的各种内向的标准来衡量自己以及身边的人。经常有惊艳的感觉：说的太准了！不过次数多了，我也警觉起来。发现作者描述内向者特质的方式很像是星象学家在描述星座的特点，很容易对号入座，但深究起来又会发现这种描述是模糊的、没有指向性的。到底是心灵鸡汤还是客观描述？读完以后，我想我还是倾向于后者。

作者认为，性格内向和外向的人最大的差别有四点：精力的来源、精力的恢复、对刺激的反应，以及他们对知识和经验的接近方式。

性格内向的人，从他们的内在世界，如思想、情绪和观念中获得精力；对外界的刺激比较敏感，有意识地或无意识地从外部世界吸收信息，如果他们不减少来自外部世界的刺激，他们内在的思想、情感和印象就永远也不能上升到外部；在积累知识和经验时，喜欢进行窄一点、深入。性格外向的人的精力的来源是外部世界——如各种各样的社交活动、形形色色的人们、不同的场合和事物；因多种多样的刺激而获得这样那样的成功；性格外向的人通过讲话进行思考，他们需要另外的人听着他们讲话，以整理自己的想法和情感，他们可能不需要对方的回答；在积累知识和经验时，一般会将网撒得很开……性格内向的人比性格外向的人有较多的血液流向大脑。性格内向和性格外向的人，其血液流动的通路是不同的。

而其中，最为显着的差别是精力的恢复。不管在人前表现得怎样，恢复精力的基本方法表明了谁性格内向而谁性格外向。比如，辛苦工作一天，你是愿意和朋友一起去吃个饭唱个歌，还是独自回家洗个热水澡，安安静静看看书听听音乐上上网睡一大觉呢？如果选择前者，你基本就是外向型；如果选择后者，那你多半是内向的人了。

——对这点判断我是存疑的。忙了一天累得像条狗，大部分人应该都想回家躺在沙发上不动弹吧？虽然不排除有精力旺盛白天拼命工作，晚上夜生活也丰富多彩的人，但就我观察这样的人并不多。而且，这里面更大的差异不是内向还是外向，而是身体素质和体力吧！这个问题我跟刘兄探讨了，他倒是颇为认同作者，大致的逻辑是：外向的人精力更旺盛一些，内向的人更容易疲惫一些。照这么推理的话，对体力要求比较高的工作，比如运动员，是不是不适合内向的人呢？好像也不是这样。也许我需要更多内向的朋友现身说法。

最有趣的是书的第三章，作者指出，性格外向的人需要多巴胺的伙伴，肾上腺素，它从交感神经系统的活动中释放出来，使大脑中具有更多的多巴胺。所以，性格外向的人越活跃，就会越快乐。另外一方面，性格内向的人对多巴胺却是高度的敏感。太多的多巴胺使他们感到刺激太多。性格内向的人，在他们较占优势的神经传导通路上使用的是一种完全不同的神经递质，乙酰胆碱。乙酰胆碱是使我们的记忆机器性能良好的润滑油。当它用干后，机器就会变得不灵活。性格内向的人需要一个多巴胺既不要太多也不要太少、乙酰胆碱处于较好的水平的有限的范围，以使他们感到平静，以及没有压抑和焦虑。这是一个让人感到很舒适，但却太小的区域。总之，性格外向的人与多巴胺/肾上腺素、精力消耗、交感神经系统相联系，性格内向的人与乙酰胆碱、精力储备和副交感神经系统相联系。乙酰胆碱可以增加注意力、记忆力和幸福感，使用乙酰胆碱的神经传导通路支配着性格内向的人。看起来非常有科学感。

我上网搜索了多巴胺、肾上腺素、乙酰胆碱、交感神经、副交感神经等关键词。简单地说“多巴胺、肾上腺素、乙酰胆碱”都是神经传导物质，多巴胺主要负责大脑的情欲，感觉，将兴奋及开心的信息传递，也与上瘾有关【当我们积极做某事时，脑中会非常活络的分泌出大量多巴胺荷尔蒙。它是一种使人类引起欲望的荷尔蒙，但多巴胺分泌过量会过度消耗体力和热量，导致早死。】；当人经历某些刺激（例如兴奋，恐惧，紧张等），分泌出肾上腺素，能让人呼吸加快（提供大量氧气），心跳与血液流动加速，瞳孔放大，为身体活动提供更多能量，使反应更加快速。乙酰胆碱在脑健康方面扮演一个核心角色，不同神经功能都需要乙酰胆碱，但它对大脑的某些部分尤其重要。(www.xiexiebang.com)例如，涉及记忆，学习和情绪等方面的大脑部分都需要使用乙酰胆碱。此外，选择，思考到集中注意力等脑功能也需要它。交感神经的功能可被概括为“Fight or Flight”（战斗或逃走）。交感神经主要作用于平滑肌和腺细胞。交感神经兴奋会引起腹腔内脏及皮肤末梢血管收缩、心率加快，心脏收缩能力增强、瞳孔散大和新陈代谢率上升等。副交感神经的主要功能是使瞳孔缩小，心跳减慢，皮肤和内脏血管舒张，小支气管收缩，胃肠蠕动加强，括约肌松弛，唾液和泪液分泌增多，男性生殖器的勃起等。客观来说，多巴胺、肾上腺素、乙酰胆碱各有各的功能；交感神经和副交感神经也共同支配大部分的器官受到两者的，大部分情况下，两者相互拮抗（例外：唾液分泌），因而可以实现对该器官的精细调节，实现内环境的稳态。为什么说“性格外向的人需要多巴胺的伙伴，肾上腺素”而“性格内向的人对多巴胺却是高度的敏感”？这种需求和敏感性是天生的嘛？是人体组织结构造成的嘛？那人的内向和外向就是天生的了？内向还是外向不是性格的不同，而是人脑组织结构（对外界的刺激反应）的不同？另外，这种大脑的应激性的不同，是怎么产生的呢？天生的么？跟遗传有关系么？还有，这种应激性是否可以改变呢？如果不可以改变，那么是不是一个人是内向还是外向就是不可改变的？如果可以改变，怎么才能改变呢？说实话，这部分没读懂。

之所以找这本书来看，还是因为母亲的角色。我自己是个外向的人，孩子他爸内向。孩子给我的感觉应该是内向的，但我又不是很肯定。本来想借这本书来判断一下的，似乎还是无法下结论。作者在书中说，如果性格内向的人在一个其他家庭成员的性格都很外向的家庭情境中长大，或是在父母虽然性格内向但感到不应该内向的家庭情境中长大，孩子们就会体验到要作为一个“性格外向、好交际的人”所带来的巨大压力。作为一个比较外向活跃的妈，我不想给孩子这样的压力。哪怕孩子的确是一个（很）内向的人，我也不希望强迫他改变什么。书中，作者给出了培养内向孩子的一些方法，我觉得都是值得尝试的。包括：要求您的孩子注意一下，完整的观点、解决办法和印象是在什么时候变得清晰起来的；很重要的是要帮助您的孩子，对他们大脑的工作方式有足够的认识；让孩子寻找可以与他们谈话的知识丰富的人；当您的性格内向的孩子还在小的时候，就要开始与他们谈论：他们的身体和大脑是如何工作的，以及如何对之加以管理。为了思考、感觉和行动，我们的身体需要能量。

虽然我觉得自己整体上是偏外向型的人（其实我们身边很少绝对内向或绝对外向的人，一般都是“偏内向”或“偏外向”），但作者提出的一些精力管理的建议，对我也是颇为适用的。比如，要避免精疲力竭。如果您感到焦躁不安，学习一些让自己平静下来的方法。比如，要保持精力充沛，重要的是要知道您自己的高潮和低潮——什么时候您工作最有效率，在各个项目上分配多少时间等。比如悦纳自己，小步子地做事，找到自己的节奏和精力分配的方式等。

在工作、夫妻生活等方面，作者也给出了非常中肯的建议，看起来也很可行。

作者说：最重要的是，做真实的自己。作为父母，最重要的是，支持孩子做真实的自己，帮助他做最好的自己——这些其实对每个人、对每个孩子都是适用的。

最后，作者写了几句话送给内向的人，我觉得很好，摘录在这里。

享受生活，适当休息。

欣赏您的内心世界。

做一个真实可信的人，珍视您的好奇心。

享受心境的和谐。

享受独处。

对生活充满感激。

做您自己。

记着，让您的光芒洒向四方。

第二篇：内向者优势读书心得

内向者优势

Carl Jung的内向和外向理论是心理学中最为有名的类型论。由于心理学发展中的一些问题(如Freud在写作自恋方面的文章时，开始将内向用做消极的概念，其广泛的影响使人们对内向形成了错误的观念)和社会文化对外向性格的偏爱，性格内向在当今成为稍有贬义的词汇，许多人羞于承认或惮于面对自己内向的性格。

而《内向者优势》打破常规，直面性格内向这一问题，指出性格内向有其固有的生理基础，指出认可自己内向性格的重要性。特别地，该书用大量事例生动形象地展示了性格内向的种种优势和隐藏的潜力，如高度集中注意力的能力，观察力，摆脱限制、思考问题的能力，作出不寻常决定的意志力，使外界放缓脚步的潜力，以及忠诚，富有创造性，富有新颖的想法和渊博的学识等。

《内向者优势》是内向性格方面的一本专著，可供心理学工作者和每一位对内向性格感兴趣的个人阅读和思索。全书包括三部分共10章。

第一部分:“离水之鱼”，包括第一章至第三章。第一章“什么是性格内向?您也是性格内向的人吗?”介绍了性格内向和性格外向的主要差别，及通过快速测验或较长的性格内向者自我评估问卷进行自我评价的方法。第二章“为什么性格内向的人容易被误解?”通过大量现实生活中的人物和文艺作品、电影、电视中的人物来例证指出，性格内向的人不一定就是害羞、精神分裂或高度神经过敏的人，并提出了罪恶感和羞耻感的解决办法。第三章“脱颖而出的脑图:我们天生就是性格内向的吗?”从基因、神经传导通路、神经递质、右脑或左脑占优势等角度指出，性格内向和性格外向都有其生理基矗

第二部分:“航行于外向性格的水域”，包括第四章至第七章，涉及婚姻、家庭、社交和工作几方面的内容。第四章“婚姻关系:和着音乐，翩翩起舞”，从约会谈起，描述了三种性格类型相结合的婚姻关系，并指出了每一种结合类型的机遇、挑战及矛盾的解决办法。第五章“为人父母:他们已经做好准备了吗?”指出了判断孩子是“性格内向”还是“性格外向”的方法，以及帮助“性格内向”和“性格外向”的孩子茁壮成长的方法。第六章“社交活动:您是聚会上的„傻子‟还是„疯子‟？”详尽地阐述了社交活动之前的思考和策略，社交场合中非常有用的七项非正式的社交策略，及离开的策略等。第七章“工作:朝九晚五的危险”生动形象地阐述了性格内向的人如何散发一点自己的光芒，如何提高自己的言语技能，如何应对常见的几种压力，以及如何配合领导的工作等。

第三部分：“创造„正好合适的‟生活”，包括第八章至第十章。第八章“三个P:个人的节奏、个人优先考虑的事情和个人的边界”从如标题所示的几个方面阐释了应对内向性格、创造美好生活的方法。第九章“发展您的天性”从休息、呼吸、空间、光线及温度、气味、音乐、营养、睡眠、运动、朋友等诸多方面阐释了培育自己这朵“郁金香”的方法。第十章“外倾:将您的光芒洒向四方”指出增强信心、打破常规、学会放松娱乐的重要性，并提出了可以使人尽可能轻松而又愉悦地实现外倾的一些非常有效的策略。

总之，该书围绕“性格内向的优势”具体阐释了性格内向的人的天性发展、工作生活、环境创造等诸多问题。该书体系完整、资料翔实、科学性强、富有创新性，且文字优美流畅，适于阅读和思索。该书有助于人们发挥出自身的潜能，利用内向性格的优势在工作、生活中获得真正的成功，从而创造美好的、“正好合适的”生活。

第三篇：《内向性格者爱情指南》读后感

《内向性格者爱情指南》读后感

小野公子

前段时间，我看了美国作家香农。科拉柯夫斯基的《内向性格者爱情指南》，看完以后路深有感触。我们知道，随着文化的拓展和传播，不论是国内还是国外，情专的书籍在近几年频频上架，并充斥着整个主流市场，细心的你，稍微观察一下就会发现，大部分作者都是喜欢结合情感案例在加之自己过往的认知和经验撰写出一本又一本男女的、爱恋宝典，少有情感专家能结合心理学与性格分析等多重因素与个人角度系统的阐述恋爱受困的秘密，然而，香农就是这样一位与众不同的作家。

不得不承认，不管我们多大年龄，是何国籍，是何肤色，是何种族，世界上的任何一个人，在内心上其实都非常的渴望真爱，否则为什么会演绎出那么多的电影与电视剧本呢？与此同时，人类又是一个矛盾的纠结体，渴望真爱的同时又会产生害怕、焦虑、羞怯等多种消极的情绪，就如同一个渴望陪伴的人在获得陪伴以后，又担心失去自己的自由。因此，我们会得出一个结论：人类自身存在的感知与体验往往会限制以及阻碍我们去寻找真爱。

好在近几年心理学、社会学、以及其他显灵学、玄学等多门人文学科崛起与发展，不少人类学家、心理学家告诉我们，寻找真爱其实是有规律可以遵循的，爱情其实并非我们想象中来的那么神秘，它也并非是看不见摸不到的，只要你能遵照一定的方法去寻觅真爱，你会惊讶的发现，原来真爱离我们并不遥远甚至真爱其实就在我们身边，只是感知能力弱的我们，忽略掉了而已。

我认为，单身的人，寻觅真爱之前，必须要了解的三个真相：

第一、香农说：你之所以尚未找到爱情，是因为，你与你焦虑的情绪的不良的关系从中作梗，它使你难以听从自己内心真正的感受，目标，价值观，和欲望。

我认为，很多人无法找到自己心仪的对象，很大程度上，是与自身的心理因素有关，他们无法正确的平衡自己内心的所思所想，当生活中出现了一个还能聊得来的对象时，因为自身的心理层面问题，例如：紧张、焦虑、躲避、多疑等情节就容易导致约会失败或者约会不了了之。

其实，这个现象还是蛮常出现在我们的现实生活里的，此外，初次约会，不安的情绪每个人或多或少都会有，就好比，每个需要登台演讲的人内心多多少少会出现紧张与焦虑不安的情绪，因为，人类身上都有有一种自卑的情节，他们担心自己的表现不给力，会搞砸约会或者演讲，但是，越是产生这种不安情绪，越容易搞砸一场约会或者其他的机会。所以，如果你能正确的面对自己焦虑与不安的心态，并能在状况出现时，有效的引导，就会摆平它们给你带来的困扰，心态建设，有助于你离寻找真爱，随着自身心态的改变，容易度会大大的迈进一步。

第二：摆脱了焦虑因素以后，要做的事情，就是上面提到的，学会接受正念得引导。所谓的正念引导指的是，避免去想自己将来很有可能是自己一个人或者孤单一辈子的想法，因为很多时候，你心里想什么，很有可能就真的会发生些什么，正念引导的作用是让你避开一些消极的情绪，并在心里给自己加油打气，因为积极的、正念的引导不仅能让人调节心态还能让人有信心面对将来的困境与失意。我们常说，人要积极向上，摆正心态，和玄学上面“心想事成”等内容有着相似之处，那就是，只有积极与阳光的一片，才能带来好运与好事。

第三、学会正确的评估自己，选择那个适合自己的那个人。评估自己的意义在于对自己有一个正确的认识，你是外向性格还是内向性格，在婚恋上的价值是多少？能匹配到什么样的人？你的个性是怎么样的？有没有属于自己的鲜明特色？我想，单身的人士在找对象之前，都必须对自己的自身做一个了解测试，别小看这个测试，很多人其实是不了解自己的，俗话说：知己知彼，方能百战百胜。你只有对自身有准确认知之后，才会有接下来的指向性目标，如果连自身都不了解，如同一头雾水栽进大海，寻觅真爱无疑难上加难。

了解了以上三个基本的要素之后，我们就要开始发问了，那就是，对于单身人士，寻觅真爱倒吸需要怎么做？

很多人都认为，自己各个方面的条件都已经成熟，但是不知道为什么，就是一直都遇不上那个对的人，他们百思不得其解，其实道理很并不难，那是因为，你只是心里想找对象，但却没有在行动上有任何的付出，自然而然，真爱不会那么轻易的跳到你的碗里面。

寻觅真爱，首先，我认为，我们必须要先在形象上打点好自己。前段时间，在微博上曾经看到一组很火很火的女人与男人打分的漫画头像，我们不得不承认一个事实，那就是，外表是一个人最为直观、最为表层的一面，他人想认识你，必须要从你的外貌上做判断与估算，老一辈人所说的“只要心灵美，外表美不美无所谓”的时代早已经离我们远去。甚至很多婚恋机构，男女人找对象更为看重“眼缘”,所谓的“眼缘”不就是你个人的形象问题吗？

因此，我们不可否认，有的时候，你没有遇上那个对的人，很可能从某些方面来讲，你的正面形象不符合心仪的人的择偶标准，所以，面对这类问题，我们就要从自身的形象上着手改变自我。只有摆脱形象焦虑的人，才能优先找到自己心仪的另一半。

其次，多交朋友，多参加社团活动，摆脱社交恐惧感带来的束缚。很多时候，你找不到那个对的人，一方面是因为自己的交际圈太小，每天都是两点一线，根本无法认识新朋友，另外一方面，是因为惰性而不愿意社交和相亲，导致和真爱失之交臂，针对这种情况，我们就必须要克服自己内心的懒惰思维了。王潇老师也曾经在她的书《三观易碎》中提到：你可以不恋爱，但是不能不约会。因为只有通过约会，你才能知道自己到底适合什么样的人。

有人又会提出质疑：相亲约会次数多了，会对人造成一定的伤害！相亲不是逛菜市场，一方面没有目标的随意相亲，浪费时间和精力。另一方面，相亲次数多了，如果都不成功，会对自己个人的魅力和价值产生怀疑，从而也会造成不小的打击。其实啊，这些言论也可能是对的，确实是有这种问题。但是，亲爱的，你若是都不约会，都不去社交，你怎么能从失败的相亲经验中总结出教训呢？如果你这么封闭与保守，你怎么有办法去寻找适合自己的真爱呢？

事实证明，你看的人多了以后，或多或少会有不一样的经历和感觉，知道自己适合什么类型的，知道怎么针对性的找，此外，相亲的量多了以后，也确实会遇上个别你有好感或者他对你有好感的，有好感是成功的第一步，只有迈出第一步，才会有下文啊！因此，我认为，潇洒姐的那句话是有道理的。因此，多去社交是我们提高成功率的不二途径。

最后，展示自己的内核与风采。想让你的心仪对象对你有一定的好感，主动展现自己的内在是必不可少的。因为除却外表，你至少要具备一定的素养和内涵，才会让人对你刮目相看。人们常常说：外表决定我们能不能在一起，而内涵决定我们能走多久，所以说，展示自己的风采和魅力是必不可少的。从来不会有人喜欢一个没有内核与涵养的人，因此，要想让你喜欢的人从心底上喜欢你，必须要用你的内涵吸引对方。

《内向性格者爱情指南》给我们科普了很多有趣的现象以及一些实用的方法，如果有一天，你有幸的进入一段亲密关系，你如何让恋情走的更加的长久？

总结了书中的三点，首先呢，我们必须要承认，与人交往是一门很高深的学问。谈恋爱从本质上来讲，就是一门沟通的艺术学，因为要获得所谓的亲密关系，沟通是必不可少的，恋爱包含了亲密关系和沟通的艺术。我们应该怎么做才能让自己的恋情更加长久呢？

第一：学做一个会沟通、会表达的人。我们从很多对分手的情侣相处模式中总能总结出一定的道理和相通的地方，你和你的对象相处不好，或者你没有吸引到你心仪的对象，很大程度上，你要反思一下自己的表达能力或者沟通方面有没有相应的问题。

我觉得作为一个思想独立的成年人，一方面情绪稳定是必不可少的，另外一方面，做一个会表达、会沟通的人很重要。它直接决定了你能不能谈好这段恋爱。尤其是表达和沟通，其实是一门大学问，我们的素质教育往往没有普及这一方面的知识，但是不得不承认的是，沟通是一种能力，不管是恋爱也好，还是平常的生活交流也好，我们人类，永远离不开“沟通”这两个字。如果你是一个不善于表达自我的人，我认为培养亲密关系的第一步，就是必须要学会与提升正向的沟通与表达，只有把这一基础的问题解决好，你才能在恋爱这一事情上进展顺利。

第二：不断保持进步的学习态度，保持新鲜感。都说恋爱是一个动态的过程，不是一潭死水，两个人在一起，如果步伐不一致，很有可能会被淘汰或者出局，有句话说的好：“你只有拼命奔跑，才能留在原地。”因此要想把一段关系搞好，就必须要不间断的充实自己，同时也要注意与恋人之间互相保持一定的神秘感，没有神秘感的恋情必然是索然无味的，因此，进入亲密关系以后，我们必须要不间断的进步并且保持新鲜感。

第三：学会调整自己的心态和预期。很多时候，我们要承认，爱情并不是玛丽苏剧情里面描绘的那么唯美与精彩，更多的时候，是柴米油盐酱醋茶。两个人相处久了以后，必然也会有不少的小摩擦与矛盾，适当的调整自己的心理预期，和交往对象主动的沟通之间存在的问题，不要做过分或者冲动的事情，总是会有助于恋情的发展的，有的时候，人遇到不顺心的事情，难免会想去指责自己的身边的对象，这时候，你在发火之前，必须要控制好自己的心态和想法，有问题不要光发泄自己的情绪，冷静一分钟之后再去表达自己的想法，你会发现，原来事情真的没有你想象中来的那么的槽糕。

第四：不要对交往对象表现出嫌弃之情，你的嫌弃，他是能感受到的，我认为，如果你嫌弃一个人，就不应该和他交往，但是如果你想和对方交往，就不能表现出嫌弃的情绪，也就是我们老生常谈的“不要一边嫌弃一边爱”.另外，比较关键的一点，就是要多学会赞美和夸奖你的伴侣，在情感上给予对方一定的支持和安全感，俗话说“信任的基础是我会维护你的利益”,“安全感来源于你的支持与理解”,只有多多欣赏和夸奖对党，两个人今后的道路才会越走越平顺。

总结：不管你是否有一个令自己满意的对象还是说目前仍然在择偶寻觅当中，我们一定要记得：先克服自己的自卑情结与焦虑的情绪，对待爱人学会沟通与表达，遇到摩擦时，正向的输入自己的情感，只有先做好自己，才会遇到那个让你满意的他。

第四篇：内向者的力量[TED]

TED 演讲稿

Susan Cain : The Power of Introverts

When I was nine years old I went off to summer camp for the first time.And my mother packed me a suitcase full of books, which to me seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do.Because in my family, reading was the primary group activity.And this might sound antisocial to you, but for us it was really just a different way of being social.You have the animal warmth of your family sitting right next to you, but you are also free to go roaming around the adventureland inside your own mind.And I had this idea that camp was going to be just like this, but better.(Laughter)I had a vision of 10 girls sitting in a cabin cozily reading books in their matching nightgowns.(Laughter)

Camp was more like a keg party without any alcohol.And on the very first day our counselor gathered us all together and she taught us a cheer that she said we would be doing every day for the rest of the summer to instill camp spirit.And it went like this: “R-O-W-D-I-E, that's the way we spell rowdie.Rowdie, rowdie, let's get rowdie.” Yeah.So I couldn't figure out for the life of me why we were supposed to be so rowdy, or why we had to spell this word incorrectly.(Laughter)But I recited a cheer.I recited a cheer along with everybody else.I did my best.And I just waited for the time that I could go off and read my books.But the first time that I took my book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and she asked me, “Why are you being so mellow?”--mellow, of course, being the exact opposite of R-O-W-D-I-E.And then the second time I tried it, the counselor came up to me with a concerned expression on her face and she repeated the point about camp spirit and said we should all work very hard to be outgoing.And so I put my books away, back in their suitcase, and I put them under my bed, and there they stayed for the rest of the summer.And I felt kind of guilty about this.I felt as if the books needed me somehow, and they were calling out to me and I was forsaking them.But I did forsake them and I didn't open that suitcase again until I was back home with my family at the end of the summer.Now, I tell you this story about summer camp.I could have told you 50 others just like it--all the times that I got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of being was not necessarily the right way to go, that I should be trying to pass as more of an extrovert.And I always sensed deep down that this was wrong and that introverts were pretty excellent just as they were.But for years I denied this intuition, and so I became a Wall Street lawyer, of all things, instead of the writer that I had always longed to be--partly because I needed to prove to myself that I could be bold and assertive too.And I was always going off to crowded bars when I really would have preferred to just have a nice dinner with friends.And I made these self-negating choices so reflexively, that I wasn't even aware that I was making them.TED 演讲稿

Now this is what many introverts do, and it's our loss for sure, but it is also our colleagues' loss and our communities' loss.And at the risk of sounding grandiose, it is the world's loss.Because when it comes to creativity and to leadership, we need introverts doing what they do best.A third to a half of the population are introverts--a third to a half.So that's one out of every two or three people you know.So even if you're an extrovert yourself, I'm talking about your coworkers and your spouses and your children and the person sitting next to you right now--all of them subject to this bias that is pretty deep and real in our society.We all internalize it from a very early age without even having a language for what we're doing.Now to see the bias clearly you need to understand what introversion is.It's different from being shy.Shyness is about fear of social judgment.Introversion is more about, how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation.So extroverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched-on and their most capable when they're in quieter, more low-key environments.Not all the time--these things aren't absolute--but a lot of the time.So the key then to maximizing our talents is for us all to put ourselves in the zone of stimulation that is right for us.But now here's where the bias comes in.Our most important institutions, our schools and our workplaces, they are designed mostly for extroverts and for extroverts' need for lots of stimulation.And also we have this belief system right now that I call the new groupthink, which holds that all creativity and all productivity comes from a very oddly gregarious place.So if you picture the typical classroom nowadays: When I was going to school, we sat in rows.We sat in rows of desks like this, and we did most of our work pretty autonomously.But nowadays, your typical classroom has pods of desks--four or five or six or seven kids all facing each other.And kids are working in countless group assignments.Even in subjects like math and creative writing, which you think would depend on solo flights of thought;kids are now expected to act as committee members.And for the kids who prefer to go off by themselves or just to work alone, those kids are seen as outliers often or, worse, as problem cases.And the vast majority of teachers reports believing that the ideal student is an extrovert as opposed to an introvert, even though introverts actually get better grades and are more knowledgeable, according to research.(Laughter)

Okay, same thing is true in our workplaces.Now, most of us work in open plan offices,without walls, where we are subject to the constant noise and gaze of our coworkers.And when it comes to leadership, introverts are routinely passed over for leadership positions,even though introverts tend to be very careful, much less likely to take outsize risks--which is something we might all favor nowadays.And interesting research by Adam Grant at the Wharton School has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extroverts do, because when they are managing proactive employees, they're much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas, whereas an extrovert can, quite unwittingly, get so excited about things that they're putting their own stamp on things, and other people's ideas might not as easily then bubble up to the surface.TED 演讲稿

Now in fact, some of our transformative leaders in history have been introverts.I'll give you some examples.Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Gandhi--all these peopled described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken and even shy.And they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their bodies was telling them not to.And this turns out to have a special power all its own, because people could feel that these leaders were at the helm,not because they enjoyed directing others and not out of the pleasure of being looked at;they were there because they had no choice, because they were driven to do what they thought was right.Now I think at this point it's important for me to say that I actually love extroverts.I always like to say some of my best friends are extroverts, including my beloved husband.And we all fall at different points, of course, along the introvert/extrovert spectrum.Even Carl Jung, the psychologist who first popularized these terms, said that there's no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert.He said that such a man would be in a lunatic asylum, if he existed at all.And some people fall smack in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum,and we call these people ambiverts.And I often think that they have the best of all worlds.But many of us do recognize ourselves as one type or the other.And what I'm saying is that culturally we need a much better balance.We need more of a yin and yang between these two types.This is especially important when it comes to creativity and to productivity, because when psychologists look at the lives of the most creative people, what they find are people who are very good at exchanging ideas and advancing ideas, but who also have a serious streak of introversion in them.And this is because solitude is a crucial ingredient often to creativity.So Darwin, he took long walks alone in the woods and emphatically turned down dinner party invitations.Theodor Geisel, better known as Dr.Seuss, he dreamed up many of his amazing creationsin a lonely bell tower office that he had in the back of his house in La Jolla, California.And he was actually afraid to meet the young children who read his books for fear that they were expecting him this kind of jolly Santa Claus-like figure and would be disappointed with his more reserved persona.Steve Wozniak invented the first Apple computer sitting alone in his cubical in Hewlett-Packard where he was working at the time.And he says that he never would have become such an expert in the first place had he not been too introverted to leave the house when he was growing up.Now of course, this does not mean that we should all stop collaborating--and case in point, is Steve Wozniak famously coming together with Steve Jobs to start Apple Computer--but it does mean that solitude matters and that for some people it is the air that they breathe.And in fact, we have known for centuries about the transcendent power of solitude.It's only recently that we've strangely begun to forget it.If you look at most of the world's major religions, you will find seekers--Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad--seekers who are going off by themselves alone to the wilderness where they then have profound epiphanies and revelations that they then bring back to the rest of the community.So no wilderness, no revelations.TED 演讲稿

This is no surprise though if you look at the insights of contemporary psychology.It turns out that we can't even be in a group of people without instinctively mirroring, mimicking their opinions.Even about seemingly personal and visceral things like who you're attracted to,you will start aping the beliefs of the people around you without even realizing that that's what you're doing.And groups famously follow the opinions of the most dominant or charismatic person in the room, even though there's zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas--I mean zero.So...(Laughter)You might be following the person with the best ideas, but you might not.And do you really want to leave it up to chance? Much better for everybody to go off by themselves, generate their own ideas freed from the distortions of group dynamics, and then come together as a team to talk them through in a well-managed environment and take it from there.Now if all this is true, then why are we getting it so wrong? Why are we setting up our schools this way and our workplaces? And why are we making these introverts feel so guiltyabout wanting to just go off by themselves some of the time? One answer lies deep in our cultural history.Western societies, and in particular the U.S., have always favored the man of action over the man of contemplation and “man” of contemplation.But in America's early days, we lived in what historians call a culture of character, where we still, at that point, valued people for their inner selves and their moral rectitude.And if you look at the self-help books from this era, they all had titles with things like “Character, the Grandest Thing in the World.” And they featured role models like Abraham Lincoln who was praised for being modest and unassuming.Ralph Waldo Emerson called him “A man who does not offend by superiority.” But then we hit the 20th century and we entered a new culture that historians call the culture of personality.What happened is we had evolved an agricultural economy to a world of big business.And so suddenly people are moving from small towns to the cities.And instead of working alongside people they've known all their lives, now they are having to prove themselves in a crowd of strangers.So, quite understandably, qualities like magnetism and charisma suddenly come to seem really important.And sure enough, the self-help books change to meet these new needs and they start to have names like “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” And they feature as their role models really great salesmen.So that's the world we're living in today.That's our cultural inheritance.Now none of this is to say that social skills are unimportant, and I'm also not calling for the abolishing of teamwork at all.The same religions who send their sages off to lonely mountain tops also teach us love and trust.And the problems that we are facing today in fields like science and in economics are so vast and so complex that we are going to need armies of people coming together to solve them working together.But I am saying that the more freedom that we give introverts to be themselves, the more likely that they are to come up with their own unique solutions to these problems.So now I'd like to share with you what's in my suitcase today.Guess what? Books.I have a suitcase full of books.Here's Margaret Atwood, “Cat's Eye.” Here's a novel by Milan Kundera.And here's “The Guide for the Perplexed” by Maimonides.But these are not exactly

TED 演讲稿

my books.I brought these books with me because they were written by my grandfather's favorite authors.My grandfather was a rabbi and he was a widower who lived alone in a small apartment in Brooklyn that was my favorite place in the world when I was growing up, partly because it was filled with his very gentle, very courtly presence and partly because it was filled with books.I mean literally every table, every chair in this apartment had yielded its original function to now serve as a surface for swaying stacks of books.Just like the rest of my family, my grandfather's favorite thing to do in the whole world was to read.But he also loved his congregation, and you could feel this love in the sermons that he gaveevery week for the 62 years that he was a rabbi.He would takes the fruits of each week's reading and he would weave these intricate tapestries of ancient and humanist thought.And people would come from all over to hear him speak.But here's the thing about my grandfather.Underneath this ceremonial role, he was really modest and really introverted--so much so that when he delivered these sermons, he had trouble making eye contact with the very same congregation that he had been speaking to for 62 years.And even away from the podium, when you called him to say hello, he would often end the conversation prematurely for fear that he was taking up too much of your time.But when he died at the age of 94, the police had to close down the streets of his neighborhood to accommodate the crowd of people who came out to mourn him.And so these days I try to learn from my grandfather's example in my own way.So I just published a book about introversion, and it took me about seven years to write.And for me, that seven years was like total bliss, because I was reading, I was writing, I was thinking, I was researching.It was my version of my grandfather's hours of the day alone in his library.But now all of a sudden my job is very different, and my job is to be out here talking about it, talking about introversion.(Laughter)And that's a lot harder for me, because as honored as I am to be here with all of you right now, this is not my natural milieu.So I prepared for moments like these as best I could.I spent the last year practicing public speaking every chance I could get.And I call this my “year of speaking dangerously.”(Laughter)And that actually helped a lot.But I'll tell you, what helps even more is my sense, my belief, my hope that when it comes to our attitudes to introversion and to quiet and to solitude, we truly are poised on the brink on dramatic change.I mean, we are.And so I am going to leave you now with three calls for action for those who share this vision.Number one: Stop the madness for constant group work.Just stop it.(Laughter)Thank you.(Applause)And I want to be clear about what I'm saying, because I deeply believe our offices should be encouraging casual, chatty cafe-style types of interactions--you know, the kind where people come together and serendipitously have an exchange of ideas.That is great.It's great for introverts and it's great for extroverts.But we need much more privacy and much more freedom and much more autonomy at work.School, same thing.We need to be

TED 演讲稿

teaching kids to work together, for sure, but we also need to be teaching them how to work on their own.This is especially important for extroverted children too.They need to work on their own because that is where deep thought comes from in part.Okay, number two: Go to the wilderness.Be like Buddha, have your own revelations.I'm not saying that we all have to now go off and build our own cabins in the woods and never talk to each other again, but I am saying that we could all stand to unplug and get inside our own heads a little more often.Number three: Take a good look at what's inside your own suitcase and why you put it there.So extroverts, maybe your suitcases are also full of books.Or maybe they're full of champagne glasses or skydiving equipment.Whatever it is, I hope you take these things out every chance you get and grace us with your energy and your joy.But introverts, you being you, you probably have the impulse to guard very carefully what's inside your own suitcase.And that's okay.But occasionally, just occasionally, I hope you will open up your suitcases for other people to see, because the world needs you and it needs the things you carry.So I wish you the best of all possible journeys and the courage to speak softly.Thank you very much.(Applause)Thank you.Thank you.(Applause)

第五篇：内向者的励志篇

内向者的励志篇

1999年7月，巴菲特在太阳谷的银行年会上发表演讲。演讲先用自嘲来开场，他说自己是个害怕公开演讲的人，更喜欢把自己关在办公室里，以至于他得参加卡内基的课程来学习如何克服内向。在这次演讲中，巴菲特30年来首次公开预测，互联网的牛市不会长久。显然，大家没把他的预测当真。五个月后，时代华纳与美国在线宣布合并。交易完成次日，《纽约时报》头版的大标题是《特德。特纳：比性生活还好》。特德。特纳--时代华纳最大股东，一个极其外向的人--把这次合并决策与自己第一次性经历相提并论，“无比激动、热情洋溢”。可惜第二年，正如巴菲特预言的那样，互联网泡沫破裂，时代华纳的股东为这次合并损失了2000亿美元。

这些跟内向和外向有什么关系呢？当我们投资时，难道不是所有人都会有失去自制力的时候吗？没错，只是有些人会失去更多罢了。有研究表明，外向型投资者更有可能陷入过度回报敏感，而内向者会更多地注意到警示信号，较好地控制自己渴望激动的情绪。另一项针对64名投资银行投资人的研究发现，表现最优的往往是情绪稳定的内向者。

《安静：内向性格的竞争力》对内向者的研究远不限于投资领域。事实上，它是一本关于内向者的理论、实验成果、可能解释以及人生经历的集大成之书。作者苏珊。凯恩是个本性沉默内向的女人，但同时又是华尔街律师，这种巨大的反差曾给她带来难以面对的恐惧和烦恼。华尔街以及整个商业社会，都认同她称之为“外向理想型”的价值系统，即最理想的自我状态是善于交际的、健谈的、喜欢行动冒险、自如于聚光灯下。苏珊在“外向理想型”社会环境中挣扎求生并成功，同时又保持本性的经历，是这本书最初的缘起。

从某种意义上说，这是一本写给内向读者的励志书。如果他们第一次知道，比尔。盖茨、盖伊。川崎、马克。扎克伯格这些企业家都是内向人格时，会不会心生安慰呢？但仅仅讲述一些内向名人或普通人的成功故事，就太浅薄了。令人惊叹的是，苏珊援引了内向性格研究的大量最新学术成果，有理有据地展示了，在一个喋喋不休的世界里，保持安静沉默的优势与潜在力量。

内向并非次一等的性格，但当内向者需要表现不同的自我时，该如何应对？苏珊给出的答案来自利特尔教授。开创“自由特质理论”的利特尔教授，是个超级内向者，同时又是成功演讲家。有一次，他告诉著名脱口秀主持人佐斯奇：“每次演讲结束后，我会躲进第9个厕所间。”佐斯奇答道：“每次节目结束，我会躲进第8 个。”这不是笑话，很多人都处在某种程度的外向伪装中。利特尔教授认为，内向者可以在某些“个人核心项目”中超越自己的性格限制，换言之，内向者可以为了他们认为重要的工作、爱的人，或者任何他们重视的事情表现出外向者的一面。关键是用正确的步骤确定自己的“个人核心项目”，这样当内向者戴上外向面具时，只是为了一项值得的任务作出的暂时改变，而不是自我否定。另一个法宝是“恢复壁龛”。它可能是空间上的，比如利特尔教授的厕所间；也可能是时间上的，就像两个工作会议之间为自己留出的音乐空隙。

作为一个内向的作者，苏珊已经讲了太多。但最终的答案，仍然是“做你自己”。