第一篇：白蛇新传译(英语口语3人小短剧)(搞笑)
出场：《千年等一回》的音乐（准备音乐）小青：姐，这是哪儿呀？ Sister,where are we? 小白：容我找一下（拿出地图寻找），现在在雷峰塔边上，前面就是西湖了！（准备地图）Eh.Let me find the location on the map.Oh,Now we are at the edge of Leifeng Pagoda ,and the West Lake is near ahead.小青：姐，这小地图，找美国都费劲，你能找到西湖嘛？
Sister,the map is so small that it is hard to find America.Can you find the West Lake? 小白点头。Maybe.小青：我姐这道行真深哪！不就是找个恩人嘛？累死了！What a genius!We’re too tired for looking for the benefactor.小白：小青，别着急！哎~~~~有个人来啦！！Qing,don’t worry!Ah,look at that man!He is coming!
许仙出场（放音乐，《渡情》）（准备音乐）
许仙念诗“鹅鹅鹅，曲项向天歌，白毛浮绿水，红掌拨清波！”好诗啊好诗！
Goose goose goose ,singing crooked towards the sky , white hair floating on green water,red foot paddlling clear wave.Good poet!Really Good!小青：姐，好吃，肯定好吃！Good food!Good!小白：青儿，不要粗俗了，看这位公子挺斯文的。Qing,you are vulga,but the young man looks grace.小青：姐,谁知道他是不是表里如一呢？
Sister,who knows whether he thinks and acts in the same way.小白：那我们来考验考验他！（扔链子在许仙脚边）（准备手链）So we need test him.许仙：哎！这是谁的东西呀？（看到俩人后走过来）作揖，姑娘，请问这是你们掉的东西嘛？ Oh,what’s this?whose is it?Ladies,is it yours? 小白：是的。Oh!Yes！
许仙：我刚刚从地上捡的，还给你们！
I pick it up from the ground.Please take it back.小白：哦，非常感谢。OK.Thank you very much.（许仙转身走开）
小白：这真是个诚实的人啊！How honest he is!小青：是不错！但是，他是我们要找的恩人嘛？ Yes.But is he your benefactor? 小白：没关系的，我去问问！啊，他要走远了。It’s no matter.I will make it clear.Oh,he goes far away.小白（赶上）：公子且留步，请问公子，怎么称呼？您要到哪里去？ Wait me,please.Sir,what’s your name?And where are you going? 许仙：姑娘，容禀啊！（唱：姓许名仙字汉文，祖籍钱塘有家门！）不知二位姑娘名与姓，为何要来杭州城？
My name is Xuxian.I live in Qiantang.I’m going home.So,what’s your names? 小白：我是白素贞！I am Bai Suzhen.小青：我叫小青！我们是姐妹。I am Xiaoqing.We are sisters.许仙：请问姑娘们家住哪里呀？ Nice to meet you.Where are you living? 小青：西湖洞里！The caves of West Lake.小白：西湖洞，是个小区的名字！It’s the name of a housing estate.许仙(惊讶，疑惑)：哦，我先走了，我还有事！Sorry,I’m busy.I have to go home.小白：且慢，公子，你还记得这个手帕嘛？（准备手帕）Wait.Sir,do you remember this handkerchief? 许仙：这不是我的嘛？怎么在你这儿？ It’s mine.Why is it here? 小白：请听我讲一个故事，记得，我还是条小蛇的时候，我很贪玩！有一天去山上玩耍！Please let me tell you a story.When I was a mini-snake,I was playful.One day,I played on the hill.小青：姐，你出去玩，不带我！Sister,why didn’t you take me outside? 小白：(低语)因为，那时候，你还只是个蛋！（继续对许仙说）：我趴在青青的草地上晒太阳，这时候，来了一头牛，它踩住了我的尾巴！是公子你！救了我啊！后来我悄悄拿了你这条手帕做信物。
Because you were an egg.I was basking in the sunshine ,lying on the green grass.Suddenly a bull came and stepped on my tail.Then you saved me.So I took your handkerchief quietly as a souvenir.许仙（似有所悟）：原来是这样！
(手机铃声响）噢，我的师傅给我发短信了，我得马上回去学习医术，实在是遗憾，不能和两位姑娘一起欣赏西湖美景了。
I see.Oh,I am sorry ,My teacher gave me a message.I have to go back soon to learn medicine.It is regrettable, for can not enjoy the beauty of West Lake with two girls.小白：公子，你看，这天，开始下雨了！Oh.It’s raining.许仙：打雷了哦！There is a thunder.小白：咱们去船上避雨吧！
Let we go onto the nearby boat to take shelter from rain.许仙：好啊！OK，let’s go.俩人撑着伞走了！！（准备伞）
第二篇：白蛇新传译(英语口语3人小短剧)(搞笑)(修改版)
出场：《千年等一回》的音乐（准备音乐）小青：姐，这是哪儿呀？ Sister,where are we? 小白：容我找一下（拿出地图寻找），现在在雷峰塔边上，前面就是西湖了！（准备地图）Eh.Let me find the location on the map.Oh,Now we are at the edge of Leifeng Pagoda ,and the West Lake is near ahead.小青：姐，这小地图，找美国都费劲，你能找到西湖嘛？
Sister,the map is so small that it is hard to find America.Can you find the West Lake? 小白点头。Maybe.小青：我姐这道行真深哪！不就是找个恩人嘛？累死了！
What a genius!We’re too tired for looking for the benefactor.And why you wanna marry him? 小白：谢他啊。小青，别着急！哎~~~~有个人来啦！！
To Thanks for saving my live.Qing,don’t worry!Ah,look at that man!He is coming!小青：是的，他看起来很好吃，你想要煮汤呢还是烧烤呢？ Yes, He looks tasty！!would you like boiled or baebecue?
许仙出场（放音乐，《渡情》）（准备音乐）
许仙念诗“鹅鹅鹅，曲项向天歌，白毛浮绿水，红掌拨清波！”好诗啊好诗！
Goose goose goose ,singing crooked towards the sky , white hair floating on green water,red foot paddlling clear wave.Good poet!Really Good!小青：姐，好吃，肯定好吃！Good food!Good!小白：青儿，不要粗俗了，看这位公子挺斯文的。Qing,you are vulga,but the young man looks grace.小青：姐,谁知道他是不是表里如一呢？
Sister,who knows whether he thinks and acts in the same way.小白：那我们来考验考验他！（扔钱在许仙脚边）（准备钱）So we need test him.许仙：哎！这是谁的钱呀？（看到俩人后走过来）作揖，姑娘，请问这是你们掉的钱嘛？ Oh,what’s this?whose is it?Ladies,is it your money? 小青：是的。Oh!Yes！
许仙：我刚刚从地上捡的，还给你们！
I pick it up from the ground.Please take it back.小白，小青：哦，非常感谢。OK.Thank you very much.（许仙转身走开）
小白：这真是个诚实的人啊！How honest he is!小青：是不错！但是，他是我们要找的恩人嘛？ Yes.But is he your benefactor? 小白：没关系的，我去问问！啊，他要走远了。
It’s no matter.I will make it clear.Oh,he goes far away.小青：You don’t have to do that,I will help you.和小白一起赶上，小青推许仙。小青：Yo,man, Do you have girlfriend? 许仙惊恐，小白（赶上,拉住小青道歉）：公子且留步，请问公子，怎么称呼？您要到哪里去？ Sir,I’m sorry,but can I have your name?And where are you going? 许仙：姑娘，容禀啊！（唱：姓许名仙字汉文，祖籍钱塘有家门！）不知二位姑娘名与姓，为何要来杭州城？
My name is Xuxian.I live in Qiantang.I’m going home.So,what’s your names? 小白：我是白素贞！I am Bai Suzhen.小青：我叫小青！我们是姐妹。I am Xiaoqing.We are sisters.许仙：请问姑娘们家住哪里呀？ Nice to meet you.Where are you living? 小青：西湖洞里！The caves of West Lake.小白：西湖洞，是个小区的名字！It’s the name of a housing estate.许仙(惊讶，疑惑)：哦，我先走了，我还有事！Sorry,I’m busy.I have to go home.小白：（沉思，发现他可能是那个人）且慢，公子，你还记得不明湖畔的夏雨荷么？…（恶搞状）
Wait.Sir, whether you still remember Xia Yuhe from Da Ming Lakeside？
许仙：什么？ Pardon？ 小青：白蛇 the white snake.小白：请听我讲一个故事，记得，我还是条小蛇的时候，我很贪玩！有一天去山上玩耍！Please let me tell you a story.When I was a mini-snake,I was playful.One day,I played on the hill.小青：姐，你出去玩，不带我！Sister,why didn’t you take me outside? 小白：(低语)因为，那时候，你还太小！（继续对许仙说）：我趴在青青的草地上晒太阳，这时候，来了一头牛，它踩住了我的尾巴！是公子你！救了我啊！所以我想谢你和嫁给你啊。（说快了，本来不想嫁了的，意识到口误，捂嘴）
Because you were too small.I was basking in the sunshine ,lying on the green grass.Suddenly a bull came and stepped on my tail.Then you saved me.So I want to thank you and marry you.许仙（毫不犹豫的打断，快速接话）：原来是这样！对，是我。我们结婚吧（兴奋状）I see.Yep,It’s me!Let’s get married now!小青：（对小白），真的吗？ Are you serious? 小白：不，他一点也不帅（对许仙）公子，你看，这天，开始下雨了！Of course not.He is not handsome now!
Oh.It’s raining.许仙：风雨都不能阻止我们结婚！
No matter what happen, let ‘s married now!小青：我有伞。I have a umbrella.小白：给他，然后跑。Give it to him, and run.小青给伞给许仙。然后两人快速走。许仙：说好的嫁给我呢？
HEY!SHUO HAO DE MARRY ME ne ? 小白，小青：“you got u wife in your hand!”
第三篇：搞笑短剧剧本
《茶叶蛋与爱情》
第一幕
在那个炎热而充满激情的夏天，经过无数次课间的小纸条，郭建国终于和李阿芳在一起了。
经历了六月高考后，阿芳迎来了她的录取通知书，而建国也...落榜了，于是他们不得不面临分隔两地，这一天郭建国送李阿芳去她梦想中的高等学府“湖南财政经济学院”。
李阿芳：国，我就要去读大学了，你在砖厂要好好干，我毕业了就嫁你。
郭建国：芳，你放心，我不会辜负你的期望的，等你回来了我就一定是这旮旯最大砖厂的老板了，到时我会调八辆拖拉机去娶你的。
李阿芳：国，我选你。
郭建国：芳，我也选你。
进入大学，阿芳和刘思思分到一个寝室，对于这个地道的本地人，阿芳感到深深的自卑，虽然陌生的人陌生的城市，但是阿芳并不孤单，她和她的建国哥每天都要打一通电话。这天郭建国打来了电话。
李阿芳：国，城里人真的好奇怪，就一大锅菜硬是被他们整成了火锅，一点青菜豆腐卖的那么贵。我觉得那会高中你揣在兜里的地瓜最香了。
郭建国：芳，你别整城里人那套，不要学坏了。
李阿芳：我知道，你好好干，不说了，话费老贵了。
郭建国：芳，我选你。
李阿芳：我也选你。
刘思思：你和谁打电话呢？
李阿芳：我男朋友。
刘思思：你就有男朋友了，真快啊。
李阿芳：我们高中就在一起了，他对我特好。
刘思思：他在哪个学校读书啊？
李阿芳：哪能，现在已经在工作了呢。
刘思思：工作了？他做什么的？
李阿芳：就...就....那个，帮别人工作呗，具体我也不清楚。我下去吃饭了。刘思思：等一下，我和你一起下去嘛，那个，听说最近隔壁班的周帅富对你蛮殷勤的，你要小心点啊，他这个人仗着有点小钱不知道勾搭过多少女孩子了，再说你不是有男朋友吗，就不要和他弄得太暧昧了
李阿芳：我知道的啦，我又不是那种贪慕虚荣的女孩子
第二幕
几天后（阿芳在宿舍兴高采烈的哼着歌）
刘思思：阿芳，你现在和周帅富怎么回事啊，白天眉来眼去晚上电话不断的 李阿芳：额，我觉得我现在对他有感觉了
刘思思：不要开玩笑了，他这人就没认真过
李阿芳：说不定这次就认真了呢
刘思思：你看上他哪里了啊，除了有点钱哪里就吸引你了
李阿芳：人家可是个高富帅呢
刘思思：你男朋友怎么办？
李阿芳：我愿意坐在宝马车里哭也不想在自行车上笑
刘思思：唉，过得开心快乐不就好了嘛
李阿芳：没钱哪来的快乐
刘思思：你高兴就好吧
李阿芳：恩恩
这一天阿芳又接到周帅富的电话
阿芳：喂
周：阿芳，是我阿芳：恩恩，我知道
周：周末有事么
阿芳：周末哦，我想想啊
周：带你去吃茶叶蛋
阿芳：茶叶蛋好贵啊，欧巴，我们还是不要去吃茶叶蛋了啦
周：没事，天空飘来五个字，钱就不是事儿
阿芳：kdie
这时接到男友电话
阿芳：喂
郭：阿芳，你在干嘛呢？
阿芳：还能干吗，在寝室呗
郭：哦，那也好那也好，我跟你说啊，我今天搬了十拖拉机的砖，赚了五十几块钱呢，过几天就发工资了，到时我又可以寄钱你了，你上次不是看中了那条38块的裙子么，你去买回来啊，你要多吃点······
阿芳：哎呀，行了行了知道啦（嘀咕：50块还不够人家吃个茶叶蛋呢）
在吃完茶叶蛋后
周：有男朋友么
阿芳：男朋友哦，人家还没有唉
周：那做我女朋友吧
阿芳：kdie
在光棍节前一天，阿芳提前给郭建国发了一短信
“国，提前祝你光棍节快乐”
“我不是有你么”
“在发这条短信的时候就不是了”
“我们不是好好的么，昨天我妈妈还问起你了呢，说等你毕业了就把家里那三间茅草屋给我做新房，我爸爸的单车也给我，咱们有房有车了你咋还不要俺了呢” “不是因为你没钱，你别想多了，不是因为钱”
“我没说钱啊”
“说了不是钱”
“额，你还敢再明显点么”
“国，我要的是一个高富帅，你却注定是一个屌丝，怀念十个月零三天八小时所有的美好时光，很遗憾，放开我———是你唯一能我做的，希望以后的你是快乐的，我的高中男生”
“咋还整上李亚鹏那套了，不就是分手么，我知道了，劈腿虽易，享受不易，且行其珍惜！！”
从此以后，阿芳和周帅富过上了想象中的生活
一开始他们是这样的周：带你去泡吧吧
阿芳：kdie，欧巴
周：带你去世界之窗玩玩？
阿芳：kdie，欧巴
周：买衣服化妆品
阿芳：kdie,欧巴
周：香港迪斯尼走走？
阿芳：kdie，欧巴
然后他们是这样的阿芳：国，我好想你，你在干嘛呢
周：玩游戏呢，等会再说
阿芳：今天肚子好疼，都没去上课
周：那今天晚上自助餐还去不去了
阿芳：额
阿芳：你到底爱我吗
周：干嘛整这套，且行且珍惜
阿芳:我们以后会结婚吗
周：你俗不俗，恋爱这么神圣的事都让你整俗了
第三幕
而在和阿芳分手后，郭建国在砖厂做事越来越没有动力，他总是想起曾经和李阿芳的山盟海誓，而一想到李阿芳他的小心脏就一阵阵的抽的疼，他觉得他的感情和自尊被阿芳无情的碾压了，而且在碾压后还被分袋封装丢弃的到处都是，他再也受不了，他决定去找阿芳理论。（他在寝室下面拦住了刚和刘思思逛完街回来的阿芳）
郭建国：阿芳····
李阿芳：你怎么又来了？
郭建国：阿芳，为什么？为什么？为什么？你真的不爱我了吗？你忘记当年在幽幽谷我们许下的诺言吗？山无棱，天地合.....李阿芳：乃敢与君绝。
郭建国：看，你还记得。
李阿芳：谁还没看过十几遍的还珠格格啊，你果然还是太天真了。
这时周帅富的电话来了
李阿芳：obba，有事吗？
周帅富：今晚7点7天见。
李阿芳：啊？什么？7天见？
周帅富：对，不见不散。（挂电话）
李阿芳：那个，那个，喂....郭建国：你居然还跟人去7天？
李阿芳：我没有。
郭建国：（盯着李阿芳）
李阿芳：我没有！
郭建国：你说你的节操去哪了？
李阿芳：节操在这呢！
郭建国：你看看你现在的样子，lv的包，迪奥的鞋，手里还一土豪金，跟人讲话那得瑟劲，这还是那同桌的你吗？曾经的你可爱，善良，撒起娇来像小猫一样，现在小猫咋长成山大王了呢，你基因变异了吗！还一口一句的泡菜腔，你是吃多了紫菜包饭吗？棒子国那些锥子脸们就没有扎醒你吗？对，我没有钱，我只是没有钱啊！
李阿芳：难道我离开你选择他只是为了钱吗？对，我就为了钱。Kdie,为了钱。我现在去逛街，再也不用担心买不起衣服，可是之前看中的几十块的裙子却再也找不到了；去世界之窗，我却想起了之前我们在小河里捉鱼的日子；买化妆品，可是我却认不出我自己了。我再也不用为钱发愁，可是，却失去了男朋友应有的对我的关心和珍惜。可即便这样，钱也从来都不属于我，我用他的钱买了一大堆堆砌我外在美丽的附属品，可是我却在也不是原来的我，在我选择和你分手的时候我就丢掉了我自己，丢掉了自尊，丢掉了快乐。
郭建国：阿芳，回来吧，我一直在这里。
献给所有
曾经逝去 正在拥有 即将发生
却从未离开过我们的——爱情
第四篇：英语搞笑短剧剧本
三打白骨精
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒
J：沙僧
B：白骨精（何平）B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头 T: Emitofo, do you know where we are now? S: Bajie, map!E:(摸出，递给S)S: Look, boss(凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T:(缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……
T: Emitofo, nothing is lust, lust is nothing!Map? E:(递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again, I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)? E:(软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food? E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1:(接近三人，望着)Can I join you? J: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady, you are a boss-hand.Come in and teach me!(准备
开电网门)S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……
T:(气愤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T:(呛住，咳)Wukong, I’m disappointed with you!
B:(真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter? T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No, sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S:（咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many? T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！S:(悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》 J: boss, brother Monkey is.......T: Don't mention that guy any more!B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T:（惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B:(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood, ha, ha......S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong? E: Oh, Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened? S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How, how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder, please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
(谢幕)
爱在西元前
第五篇：英语三人短剧__搞笑
顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了 服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！
A : Watch out!Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！” “什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?(yelled the customer),with your hand on my steak?(What answers the waiter)You want it to fall on the floor again? 服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？ B:(Waiter:)Tea or coffee gentlemen? A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:)Me too-and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:)Two teas.Which one asked for the clean glass? 创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？ 看起来象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！
不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!
B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！
是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。
A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.话剧前半部分是荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本
（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高兴状)Thank u mirror!（面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me? 荆轲Off course!耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（赢一个人需要理由
么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
羊肉串和纳税人（英文小品）
Characters: Mr.Shi, Xiaofu, Dabao Mr.Shi: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue.There is an evident change about the relationship between the tax collector and taxpayer in the past 20 years.Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change.The first Act happened in 1980s.Act I(in Bazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s)Dabao: Yangrouchuan , yangrouchuan, eaten one ,want nine, eaten one, want nine.Hi, Take my yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up,)Xiaofu: Tax!Pay the tax!Dabao:(change faces)Taxi? Where is the taxi? Here’s no taxi.Xiaofu: Tax!T---A---X!Dabao: What’s the tax? I just know taxi!Do you want me to call a taxi for you? Taxi----!Taxi----!Xiaofu: Enough!Are you the vendor? Dabao: No , No, No, no!I 'm just have a look.The vendor has gone to the toilet.Xiaofu: Not the vendor ? Impossible!you 've been here for 2 hours.Dabao: Really ?(Xiaofu: Yes, of course.)How do you know it? Xiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I 've been looking at you for two hours.Dabao: It’s a big bug!
Xiaofu: Oh.Don’t waste my time!Please pay the tax----10 Yuan!
Dabao: 10 yuan?!My god.I had just earned 20 Yuan one day!5 Yuan, ok? Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones.Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter.7Yuan, my lovely beauty.Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference.8 yuan ,ok ? Xiaofu:(looking around)All right ,a deal.But no receipt.(Dabao payed 8 yuan and Xiaofu left)Dabao: What a smart woman!Bad luck!I’m bankrupt.I have to change my place.Hope I would not meet her any more!Let’s go!Act II Mr.Shi: The next scene happened in new century.China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way, how do the vendor regard tax as and how is the tax collected? The scene will tell you.Let’s enjoy it!
(In the market;Dabao in white clothes ,a board with “NO SARS”)Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan.Eaten one, want nine.Eaten one, want nine.Xiaofu: Hi, Dabao: Hi.Two: What a familiar face.Two: It’s you!
Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector.Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan.How is your business? Dabao: Everything is OK!10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing.Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more clean than 20 years before.Dabao: Thank you.No SARS, no dirtiness;Serve people, serve me.Xiaofu: Great!Have you„„
Dabao: Married? I ‘m not married;I’m still single.Xiaofu: Have you claimed your tax this month? Dabao: What? Taxi? Oh, tax!Of course.I should pay the tax of 50 Yuan this month and I have claimed at the begin of this month.Xioafu: Your receipt, please.Dabao:(shows the receipt)Here you are, I have paid my tax in the tax service center by computer.Xiaofu: Great!What a good taxpayer you are.Dabao: Thank you.It is my duty.I’m proud of myself to pay the tax for our country.Xiaofu: Yeah!The tax you paid is a share of our country’s economy, and you do a lot for Olympics of Beijing!Dabao: Let’s do it together!.It’s said that, Don't ask what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country.Just like me, sell Yangrouchuan, and pay the Tax for ten years more.Xiaofu: You 're the loveliest people in new century!Dabao: Thank you!And you 're the loveliest tax collector in new era!X: Excuse me, and I have to go now.Bye-bye.D: A moment, are you free tomorrow evening? Could I have a dinner with you? Xiaofu: Well, may I have the company of my husband? Dabao: No, no, no problem.6 o’clock in the evening, Beichuanyuan, ok? Xiaofu: just a kidding.I have to go home now.(leaves)Dabao, See you tomorrow.Dabao: Hope to see you everyday.The End
点击咨询 