第一篇：如何做托福综合写作中的独立写作
托福综合写作中的独立写作技巧
经常有学生抱怨独立写作很少能找到比较好的范文，去看美国本土的杂志又觉得文体和词句相对托福来说太难了，也不知道美国本土学生遇到托福这样的作文会如何写。其实聪明的学生往往会发现，真正美国人要求的300字以上的独立写作文章往往可以参考综合写作的阅读和听力文章的结构及论证方法，而不用舍近求远。
首先从文章结构上看
阅读文章一共4段，第1段是总的观点，2, 3, 4段都是分论点来论证总观点，ETS一直强调：”structure is fairly important, it’s like you see someone in distance what you see is a shape first”, 四段式或五段式（加一个结尾段）是理想的文章结构。对于到底几个分论点，ETS说”one is not enough, two is coincidental and three is convincing, four is fine”, 因此对分论点的要求是两个以上为佳。我们不难发现综合作文几乎都是3个分论点。
其次从段落细节上看
第1段是作者事先进行的对文章背景的介绍“教育家们已经意识到高中对于许多同学来说是一个很困难的经历。伴随着学术挑战带来的压力，高中同时也是一个产生社交，情感，甚至是财政压力的地方。”紧接着，作者便很顺当的表明了自己的观点“而减少这些非学术压力的有效方法之一就是通过要求学生穿校服使得学生们都穿相同的衣服。”从首段看出我们想要写好开头段的方法之一便是一定要让读者觉得我们观点的提出不是那么突兀的，而要用一个背景介绍来做很好的引入，背景是这个话题所产生的时间，地点或环境，对于“校服和非学术压力”而言背景的地点应该是在学校，作者定位在了高中，时间是目前很普遍，因此作者用了完成时，而环境则是目前学生的非学术压力有哪些：社交，情感，甚至是财政，这样背景就轻而易举地写好了，独立作文中好的背景介绍是吸引读者眼球，顺水推舟的提出观点的至关重要的一步。紧接着就是表明观点，作者往往会在引入完背景和话题后表明自己的态度，表明观点会有一些提醒读者“我要表达观点了”的信号词，如：the best way to,however/while/but, would benefit/harm;be beneficial/harmful to, be convincing, claim, far more(efficient/trustworthy), more likely等等，此文章中就用了“one of the effective way of decreasing this kind of non-academic stress is to require students to wear school uniforms”让读者很快捕捉到了作者的观点。在独立作文中清晰的表明观点是非常重要的。
第2, 3, 4段分别是3个分论点，首先分论点句的写法也是有讲究的，综合作文的分论点句往往在每段的开头就写出来了，让读者一目了然这段要写什么，如这篇文章的3个分论点句分别是每段的开头：“穿校服可以使高中花费减少”，“穿校服可以减少青少年的自卑感”，“穿校服会减少学生的欺凌行为”。
写分论点句的5个原则在于：1.分论点句要有关键词，对于此文章来说关键词是“穿校服”、“减少”，因此分论点句中会重复出现这几个词，但是又不能每句话都用“wearing the same school uniform”和“reduce”, 这时候就要求学生有同义词替换能力，作者用的其他几个同意替换词分别为“such a policy”, “a mandatory school-uniform policy”, “eliminate”, “decrease”, 很好地避开了词汇重复。2.分论点句要能论证总论点，也就是说分论点一定是能减少非学术压力的，那么“花费”、“自卑”、“欺凌”都是非学术压力，减少了这些，自然就证明了减少非学术压力了，因此很好的证明了总论点。3.分论点句不能太细节，不可太长，要有可拓展性。比如说“减少花费”完全可以问个为什么，如果论点句写“减少花费是由于可以通过穿校服来减少穿贵的流行的衣服来减少花费”这就太细节了，会使得在拓展的时候不知道要写什么了，也就是说你可以接下来用解释法，举例法等来细节展开这个笼统的句子，而不是说完一句分论点句，下面都没有可说的了。4.分论点句中不能包含2个论点，如把“减少花费和减少自卑感”放在一个论点句里来写就不合适，因为下面的论证就不知道是论证穿校服减少花费还是减少自卑感了，会显得混乱。5.段与段分论点与分论点之间也要有衔接词，对于这篇关于校服的综合作文，作者在写三个分论点时衔接的非常恰当，用了“one of the most obvious benefits......”, “furthermore.....also”, “finally....”, 使得读者觉得很有层次感。
最后，做一个会学习的学生，要学会思考着来写作文。今天成都朗阁海外考试研究培训中心给大家总结的是从综合作文中能够学习到很多独立作文的技巧，以后会从文章展开方面给大
家提炼出更多技巧。
第二篇：托福独立写作评分标准--英文版
托福独立写作评分标准
5分
Effectively addresses the topic and task Well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and or details Displays unity, progression, and coherence Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors 4分
Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated Generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explorations, exemplifications, and or details
Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections
Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form, or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning
3分
Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications, and or details Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured
May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning
May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary
2分
Limited development in response to the topic and task Inadequate organization or connection of ideas Inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications, explanations, or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task
A noticeably inappropriate choice of words or word forms An accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage 1分
Serious disorganization or underdevelopment Little or no detail, or irrelevant specifics, or questionable responsiveness to the task Serious and frequent errors in sentence structure or usage
第三篇：托福独立写作作文修改
独立5-现象证明P21 2010.10.31NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.Education is the foundation of a country.People today have a stronger concept（搭配不当，改为sense）of being educated than in the past.I agree with the statement that people gain an easier access to all kinds of educations at current times.Firstly, there are much more schools available today than in the past.No matter where you live, in big cities or in the countryside, the local government spends a large amount of money on the constructions of various types of schools, such as primary schools, middle schools, high schools and even schools for adults.More and more universities and colleges have been built to ensure higher education for top students.If you want to study in schools, you will always find a proper one to attend.Secondly, the teaching approach diversifies（there are diversified teaching approaches）.Except for（In addition to包括在内）blackboard and chalks, many advanced teaching devices are being used today in most schools, including computers, multi-media and some other instruments.Moreover, labs and libraries have also come into use for students to study deeper and wider(who want to make a deeper and wider study on the fields they are interested in).What is more, the teachers' teaching levels are greatly improved by communicating with other educators from all over the world.The technology becomes more developed than in the past, so it is easier now to study.Thirdly, people have equal rights to receive education.As we all know, people in the past were in terrible discrimination because of their sex and race(many people such as women and the black people were denied the right to education because they were discriminated against in the society because of their sex and race.两句合起来)For example, women and black people were used to be considered as people in lower classes or even slaves and weren't allowed to go to school.However, they have equal rights to study in schools nowadays.（要回到主题，和更容易接受教育要直接联系起来，所以再加一句）Obviously, these people surly have easier access to education.To sum up, almost everyone today has equal rights to go to all kinds of schools with diversified teaching approaches.So people do have an easier way to receive education now than in past times.The reasons above firmly support my opinion(最后一句话不够有力，可以将三点简明扼要的用一句话概括).(Word Count: 294)独立8-包含因果关系P15 2010.3.20NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today can solve many important problems so they do not need help from the government.With the development of the society, people can do more things by themselves nowadays（于什么时候比较？）than in the past.But I disagree with the statement that people can solve many important problems, therefore the government does not need to help them（therefore they need not depend on the government for any support）.There(are)three reasons as follows:
Firstly, People today still cannot solve many important problems by themselves in fact in terms of education, unemployment, war, starvation, poverty and so on.These are international problems all over the world, so a single person or even a group of people may not have the abilities to solve(be capable of solving)them.For example, if a man wants to stop a war between two countries, even he is powerful or wealthy, he(he, however wealthy and powerful,)cannot prevent them from fighting with each other without the help of others.Secondly, people today need more help from the government.As the life standards are getting higher, people have more requirements than before.They ask for all kinds of utilities for entertainment or exercise in public places.They need various insurance to make their lives more comfortable.They also require more schools and hospitals to take care of the young people and patients(the sick).Thirdly, whether people today can solve many problems or not has nothing to do with whether they need the government's help.It is the responsibility of the government to help people.The government must give people help no matter how powerful they are.In a word, the statement that people today do not need help from the government because they can solve many important problems is wrong.The reasons above can firmly support my idea.(260w)
独立1-包含should, important, necessary的简单话题
P75 2009.5.30 Younger school children(aged between five and ten)should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.In order to broaden the horizon of younger school children, it is suggested that they should study art and music as well as other common courses.I agree with it because of the following reasons.First of all, art and music can help students to relax.Campus life is stressful even for younger children who aged between five and ten, with all kinds of homework and assignments.However, by having music and art classes, students can get a much-needed escape from the heavy work.It can help them to relax their mind and study more efficiently in other classes.Second, music and art classes help improve students' interpersonal relationships.Students will meet together to talk about a same topic if they have common interests.For example, students attending art classes can talk about the masterpiece or life story of a famous painter.Students having music classes will enjoy the beautiful melody or sing songs together.By communicating with each other, they will build a strong friendship and learn how to behave in various situations.Third, music and art classes provide students with plenty of information about great artists and their works.By learning knowledge in artistic fields students can acquire different cultures from different countries.The artists and musicians describe what they see or hear in their works, showing feelings meanwhile, which bring the students the atmosphere at that time.To sum up, art and music classes should be taken by younger school students to broaden their horizon.(248w)
独立2-包含比较(better, prefer)的简单话题
P24 2010.10.9NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.No matter where people live, in big cities or in the countryside, they must take care of their family members.Basically I prefer the former one.Living in big cities has more advantages than living in the countryside.Firstly, for old people, living in big cities can be convenient.There are a large number of hospitals which are available to all kinds of diseases.When the old people catch a cold, have a fever or even heart attack, they could be taken to the best hospital nearby and received treat in time and recover as soon as possible.But in the countryside, situations in hospitals are obviously terrible.Secondly, children should receive good education, so living in big cities is a wise choice.Schools in big cities which get finance support from(the)government provide sufficient teaching facilities for the students in order that the students can study more easily and do more experiments.Moreover, the teaching levels of the teachers in big cities are higher on average than that of the teachers in the countryside.Admittedly, Living in big cities may have a few downsides.For example, the air may be not as fresh as it in the countryside and the noise may make people crazy sometimes.However,(the)government is taking measures to prevent the pollutions and people are also becoming aware of the importance of environmental protection.It is sure that the problems can be solved in the future.In a word, people can take care of their family members much better when they live in big cities than in the countryside, because advanced society welfares are everywhere in big cities.（Word Count: 272）
独立7-包含绝对词（never, always, only ,no longer,最高级等）.P92 2007.8.4 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books will no longer exist.With the development of technology, digital books are increasingly coming into use while printed book are less used in our lives.It has been argued that printed books will no longer exist in the future.I disagree(with this opinion)although the statement has a grain of truth.First of all, admittedly, digital books have some advantages over printed books.First, it is cheaper to download a digital version from the internet than to buy a hardcover printed book.You may download Harry Potter for only half the price of the paper version.Second, the digital book is very convenient for us to carry because it is much lighter than the printed book.We can download thousands of articles into our mp4 or electronic books to read them everywhere instead of carrying several heavy books.However, to say that printed books will disappear from our lives in the future is unacceptable.First, hardcover printed books are worth collecting.They are usually very valuable with their beautiful covers and plentiful contents.Second, the printed books made by(of)papers are good for people's eyes.If we stare at a digital book all the time, our eyes will be tired or even hurt.Reading for a long period may do enormous harms to people's health, especially to children.Third, printed books are of great importance in some special ceremonies.They are usually the symbols of holy things.It is ridiculous for a minister to read with a digital book in a church.To sum up, although the digital books are more and more useful, it is sure that printed books will exist forever.(267)
第四篇：托福 tpo26 综合写作
In terms whether the zebra mussel will exert negative influence on North American, the passage and lecture are contradictory to each other.The author believes that zebra mussel might do harm the local species as they arrived while the lecturer holds a different opinion.First of all, the author makes a point that the history events suggest the zebra mussel's invasion is unstoppable.In the past, human transportation makes it possible for zebra mussel spread around the whole Europe and it is likely to happen again in North American.However, the lecturer demonstrates a different idea that a change made in the “ballast water” will prevent the invasion of zebra mussel from continuing.He says that if we refill the “ballast water” with ocean water, the mussel will no longer survive because the saline water might probably kill them all.Second, contrary to the belief in the passage that zebra mussel is able to conquer the new habitat due to their high reproduction rates and adaptation ability, as well as lacking predator, the lecturer says that the hypothesis made by author is not true.He mentions that there are many local bird will eat the zebra mussel as a major prey.As a result, the zebra mussel is unlikely to dominate the new habitat.Finally, regarding whether the zebra mussel will cause the decline in the fish population since they may compete for food such as plankton with fish species.The author thinks it is a possible consequence brought by zebra mussel.However, the lecturer refutes it that the mussel can't reduce the fish population because they provide enough nutrient for bottom living fish.
第五篇：托福写作
Agree or disagree A university should focus more on its facilities, computers or laboratory, rather than on hiring famous teachers
Nowadays, highly education has been attached more important than before.A argue that school facilities should pay more attention than professor lecture.From my perspective, although such hardware like computer centers and science lab provide some benefits to university students, university depends on quality of stuff.Admittedly, a school equipped with great facilities is more appealing the applicants.The reason is that it can make study easier.A bright library offers such a quiet condition for knowledge absorption;a computer center provides a self-govern ways to study;a science lab make student get more practice about miracles.However, this factors become less considerate when it comes to the quality of the professors.For one thing, not only do famous teachers can impart the knowledge, but instill the angle that to solve the problem.To pass on knowledge, a human is no better than a machine or a high-tech tool.The difference lies in the
special ways to get the solutions and the potential inspiration by the former.Take my favorite teacher for example, she often shows us some different way to solve the difficulties.And then she tells us the angle to work out the problem.As for me, it was not until her explanation, that I know about the easier way to work the problem.That is something that high-tech can barely achieve.For another, universities with qualified teachers tend to have higher graduate employment.It is not hard to imagine that a teacher with connections can bring more opportunity to get internship.As an old saying goes, knowledge starts with practice.It is still true now.Students who swamped in labs, would never face the brutal fact that you need a window for people to see what you’ve got.In this way, a well-connect professor can open that for you, instead of lifeless labs.In conclusion, though facilities could promote learning, but it fail to generate more practical merits to students.Recruit more qualified teacher should be paid more attention and stress.
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